Advertising Rates. We desire It to be distinctly understood that no advortlsemcnta will bo Inserted In tlx columns of Tim Carbon Advocatk that may be received from unknown parties or firms unless accompanied by tho cash. The following arc our oslt termsi OS It 8Q0ARR (10 Lists), One year, each Insertion 10 els. Blx months, each insertion IScts. Three months, each insertion 20cts. Less than three months, first insertion $1 ( each subsequent insertion 25 cts. Local notices 10 cents per line. II. V. MOttTJIIMEIl, Publisher. The Carbon Advocate, And Independeni Family Newspaper, Published every SATURDAY, in Lchijhton, Carbon Co., Pa., by iMiiiiT v. nonTnuiKd, OrTim-nA tB-WAY. short distance aboya tbe Lehigh Valley JV. R. Depot. Terms: $1,00 per Annum in ktim, crsnr DrscurTiox or run add Titer J o"b Printing vlum mmk il II. V. Mortrimer, Proprietor. INDEPENDENT" Live and Let Live." $1.00 a Year if Paid in Advance VOL. VII., No. 7. LEIIIGIITON, CARBON COUNTY, PA., SATURDAY, JANUARY 11, 1879. If not paid in advance, $1.25. - : 1 " " " i AT VERY tOW PRICKS. CARDS, Hoot and Shoe Matters. Ollatonllretner, in Ltran't building. tlnk street. Mlonttripromptlyjllled work warranted. Attorneys. JOIIS KLINE, ATTORNEY AT LAW. Offlsa wllb Al'en Crelg.nnposlle American Ho ts), UARKKT SQUARE, MAUCH. CHUNK, TA. JnlfW JOHX D. UERTOLETTE, ATT0R5BY AND COUNSELLOR AT IjAW, Broadway and Hn.qaehsnnn streets, Opposite Court Hoa.e, MAUCH CHUNK, FA. Slav b consulted In Oertn.n. mai25 ly ft P. LONUSTREET, ATTOnNEY AT LAW Levsn'a Building. ANK STREET. LEIUOUTON. TA. DMember1ft.fim. w M. UAPSIIlfitt, ATTOllNBY AND COUNSELLOR T LAW, Uist 4Tnt,l.inloHti),r. Real Estate and Collection A cent v. Will Buvand B.ll Krai K.tate. ConToyanclliK .if illy done Cnl- Hon. promptly made. Settling Katstes of l). 4. at. a .peclalty. May lie consulted In Knllsh dUarroan. Ncv.li. J AS. R. fsTltUTlIKUS, ATTORN SY AT LAW, 47-Office :2J floor of Rhnad's Hall, Maueli Chunk, Pa. All 1ia.ln.il eatru.ted to Mm will be promptly attended te. Mar 27, ly. p j. MR cu An, ATTOIINKY AT LAW Next Door to First National Dank, It MICH CHUNK, PA. WCan ho ronsulted In Herman. (JanS. Justices and Insurance yq- A. BKLTZ, JUSTICE OF THE PEACE, OrriCEi Llndermm'a Bloi-k. BANK-Street. LK11IOIITO.V, pi. ConveyaDclnr. Collactlur and nil other bust nea. connected with the omepin!iiutlv attend, ad to Agent for the beat Fire mid Life Inaur. ante Companies t Itcnts coliecied at reasonable ehariea, tie. April l'vl rjlIIOJlAH 8. UKCIC-, JUSTICK OF TIIK PlIACH, nANK Street, LEIIiailTON, P. Cenreyanrlnjr., C-olteetlnjr and all business con aeeted with the offiee promptly attended to. erA2ent tor flrstla.. In.uranco Oouipanles, suj lll.ks of all kinds taken on the most litwrnl lerme r Jn. 0.1675. X CONVEVANURR, AND GENERAL INSURANCE AGENT The fjllowln. Companies are Itepre.entedl LlrlA.S N MUTUAL FII1K, 1IEAII1NO M II I'll AL Fill E, woMIo 1'iuu, POTTSVILLK FIltK, LICHKlli l-'IHU.and the Til AV ELEUs ACCIDENT 1N8UIIANCE, Also Pmnsvlvanls and Mutual Horse Thief Pelec'tve. and Inurauio t'niupanv. Marco 29. 1S71 I HUM. ki-:mi:rer. Physicians and Dentists. -Y" W. HEBEU, M. 1)., Ornci-Rerier'B Block, BANK STREET, LEniUIIlON, Penna. Residence,...! rom 7 a. m. to 10 a. m HOURS.) and 12UO.IU to 10 p tn 1 Parry vlllo ..from In a.m. to 12 unon, Mar be consulted lu the Herman LancuoKO November 10, IS7S ) 1 o It AO. T. IIOIIN.M. D., OFFICni OVER II A. FETCH'S DRUG SrORlS, BANK S r.. LEIIIO HI ON, PA. (laneral practice attended tn, and SFKCIAI ATTENTION OIVEN TO DI'-EASES OF WOMEN. luar23, IS7S-yl yjy A. DGIIIIAHEII, M.D., PHYSICIAN ANDSl'HUKON Ipeelat attention paid to Chronic Dlsea.ea. OnVe: South East eorn.r Iron and 2nd at... Lc klhton,Pa. Aprils, 1875, yy a. 111 8K1PLK, niYMICIAN AND SUnOEOS, Next 10 E. II. Snyder's store, BANK ST., LEIUOUTON. PENN'A N. 11. -Special attention aivento the Cure of Baisiipeuin, ao. jan ty U. KEUEH, M.iT V. 8. Kxamtnliicr Surgeon, r UACTl CINO PHYSICIAN and SU I'.OKoN Oincif Bank Street. Ueder' Rlock, LehiKh ion. ra. v 0 Way be eonamled Id theOeuWn Lananiaire. WNov. J. 1873 1VID EUUERT'S Livery & Sale Stables BANICSTtlEBT.UUIIlailTON, Pa PAST TROTTING HORSES, ELEGANT CARRIAGES, And positively LOWER PRICES than any oiuer uvory in me woauiy. Irajeand handsome Carilacea for Funeral pnrpoeea ana weoaiUKS. 11 A VI U tllUKllT JSOT.ZZ 1S7S. BAYARD TAYLOR ftayi t 'I tike trrrat pleasure In recommending to parents the Andrmr of Mr 8 O hnrtlidg,r jinn, itruouuo wooo. a puirou mjh "l cheer lUllr Content to tb nw of inr namn fPTr. nCsS." lIOberoT full Cnt f.ir Vimnir mn miI bors. No KstraChttrge. 8necil-tteutiou to both ad tu need and backwaid pi pi In, lterom. mended by JudeV..u Iio-eu itev Drs. 11111 and Ps9s.bo.ir. Addre-a UWIXTJIIAM V HlinUlLIDOC (Harvard A M.l MediN, Pa Media ba 7 church en and temperance ohartei AV. 17. ISTS LIVE AGENTS WANTED To .ell Dr. Cbaefa Rerlprai or In'ormatlnn for Eterybodr. meverr oountr In the Uulled HiaUa and Canada. Eplaiged bv ilie pub Uii. r to sil pages. It onm aina over sko houarh'ld recipe, an I Is suited to all olassea and cull. Mono ot aocietv. A wnni.deilul book and a household neeeaaltr It arils at aiajht. llrt-aU st IndueeujeDta ever ottered to book agents Minnie cop es sent br mall, Postpaid, tor II 00. Kiclnaire territory Kiveu. Areuta more than douaie th'lr uiooej. Address Dr. i 'base's Slssin Jttatlnf Uonse, Ann Arbor, llichinan Oct. J-wIX Railroad Guide. N ORTII PK.VNA. RAILROAD. rassenccrkfQrFM!a!ehhia leave Lchlghton am fnllnwe t 3: 2 a m., via. L. V. arrive at Phlla. at 6:10 a tn, main, via i v. " iit'sta.ni. u07a. ru. vlaL. V. " " 2 03u.ni. 4:42 a, in., vis L. V ' " fits p.m. :37 a m. via I. v., ni'.uj. in. 47 4. m ,va L. s. 6 , " " llj-o a.m. Iw7 a. Ul.. via L. A 8.." ' 2:05 n. m. 2.J6 p ni. via L. &s. ' ' s:4)o. m. :iit p. ni. " " tun p. in. Returning, leave depot at Rcrks anil Ameri. en tit.. I'lii.a.. at 70, 8:15 and ri'Sn. m.t 2:3a, oanu rt up m, ulaiik, Agent. Nov. 25. 1878 plIILA. t READING RAILROAD. Arrangement of Passenger Trains. NOVEMBER IPTIt. IST8. Trains leavo ALLEr. TOWN nafnllowsi- IVIA fliltklOMKM IIHAVCILI For Philadelphia, at 4:i), 6.W, n.40. a.m.. and 9 M p. m. For Philadelphia at 4.2s n. 111..XM p. ra. IV1A KAhl' rPNNA. 11I1ANCII.1 For lie tdlng. f 2.3U. 5.50, B.ol a 1U 12.14. 2 10. 4.30 and 9 05 p. ui. For HirilsDiirg, 2.3) 5 50, 9.05 o. ra., 12.15, 4.30 11.0'. p. m. For Loncastor and Colombia, 5 53. 9.05 a.m. ami 4 30 u m tDoesnot run on Monday For Readlnir.2 3(1 a.m. andoosti m. For Ilirri.liurfr.2.3'ia. 111 ami u 41a n. m. Trains roil aulk ntown leave as touowai (VIA PKIIKIOUF.N IIRANCII.1 Loavc Philadelphia, 7.43 u. iu l.oo, 1.30 .iud (.30 HtJJtriAVM. Leavo Philadelphia, s.'i h. m and 3 15 p. id. (VIA KABT PEXXA nnASCII I Leavo Reading. 7.41. 7.41. 10.35 a m., 4.03,0.1? end to.4 0 in Leavo Harilslinrg, S.M. 8.10 a. in., and -00. 4.C0 i' 'i 1 o p. tn. Leave Lancaster, 8.10 a. m.. 12.5.1 and 3.45 p.m. Leave Columbia 8,'On. m . 1.10 and 3.35 p. in. HUNUAYs. Leavo Tleadlnir. 7.20 a.m. Leave IlnrrUimra. S.2in.m. Trnlnfl.mntkoa thus (! run to and from depot Oth and Oreoti street. I'htlndelptil-i. other trnlnitonndtrom Hroad ftrcet depot. Tne0.5nn.m nod a.55 p. m. trains from Allen toan, and the7.45 a.tn and 6.3'i p.m. trains from lMitlnilfipm-i, bao tbrough earato and Iroiu Philadelphia. aentrai Manaatr. C a. IIANCOCK, Otn'l Ticket Agent. "PENNSYLVANIA RAII.R0A1). GREAT TRUNK LINE AND United States Mail Route. Thn ntfnntlrtn nf tho irnvrllniT miWic Utm. pcclfnllr Invited tonomoot tlto inrrltnf.1 ttiii Kf"at liinhwav. tu tho cunliilpiit nnnertion anil belief thHt nnnther Hue can oKm eqiml Imluco iiiciiti DB a route ol tliroufih truvcl. lu Construction & Equipment the Pennsylvania Railroad Kt.inflcanfPMO(lIr at tho tipnilof Am'Ticnn rail ways Tlie track 1 douUIo tbo e'ltire l(U?ih ot iin I'lio, uibiceiruiii i;un 1111 ut-iivy nun t'us, wliicli arpembi'drit'dlua foantoilon if rurk b il lai Henteeii i cIiom In item h. All bildrcs nio nf iron or sttiiie, mid bill i upo i dm mo-tan. psiove! piann. xih iingeiiijcr cais, wiuio eiiiiu. cntlv Ohio and HubilnntUl,a'-u at tlie eauio tiiuo mode h ot comfui t nud clepaoco. The Safety Appliauces n use on this tine well ilintrato the far.(epnc and liberal volicy ol it ma!inji,iueut. lu uocoid aiico with wh.cb Uim ittllitf ouly of an iaip:nr laent and 1101 ltt ont liasbuen tlie question of conn delation. AtnouK iiuui may bo noticed tho Block System of Safety Signals, Janucy Coupler, IJuiTor & Platform, TIIK WIIAHl'ON P TEN V SWITCH, AM) Tilt. Westinghouso Air-Brake, fomilnp In rnnjitnctton witb a Perfect double irat'K road bi'da comUmatioa of fnfeauanUn (Tftln-t aui'ldentH which have icodcroil ilicui practically poiSiDio Pullman Palace Cars Arc ruu on all Express Tialns FROM NEW YORK, PHILADA. BALTI luoiiiiauii WAaiiiNUiON, To CHlfAUO, CINCINNATI. LdUlSVILLJl i.nuiaai'uliu una err. Luuia, WITHOUT CHANGE, and to all orluc pal points tn tlio fir West nr rt Houtli with bJtouo c uuvnof cJiiB. i:oniU'Citnn aroiUrtQp In Uniuit Depots, and fcie aseuridto alilmportaut poluia. THE SCENERY Of tho Pennsylvania Route Uetlmttied to beunsurttftsed in the wi rid for CTtiiidetir, benuty and ariety (superior Ho frcslnueut foclltiion are pioi1rd. Kmploypei are emu tenua and attentivo, and It i tni lnurlN aule retutt that a tilp by ibo l'enueylvams k'h'aslu? and Mcmor.iblo Hxpcrlcnco, TiolaCts for sile at the lowest rates at the Ticket Oltlccrf ol tho Company ill all luipoit.iiit CHIUtt Bll'l HI win ritAISK THOM I'HOMr, L. P. FAKMRU, Qeu. Manager. Ocn. l'as. Afent, J. K. SHOGMAUUR. Paa,Atot Midd'oDlit, 1: .Norta 'in 11 u bt.. lurriauurir, ra. Tne New York Sail for 1879. Tint Bus will ho m luted cverr da v durlntr ibo rear to come. Its purpose and method will bn the tvamo us lu the p.iti lo precnc all tho m-wsiu n leiOabie sh'ipe. and 10 tell the trutu thonirh the heaven's Jail. 1HK Sun has been, is, and will continue to bo Independent of e.civhoilv und vcrvthtiifl ma the Truth and Ms own t'ouvictionoi dun, ihit i the only poiicv which an houest newtvpAper nccil have. Ihat is I lie poiicr thich ha won for tins uowhpuper the con Ud' nee and Iriemi shin ol u wider constltttencv than wasoereu Joyed by any other American Journal. a uk pua in ine uvwvi'aper ior mo peon c. ii Is no for Ilie ilch man acaliitl the potr man or for the poor mau prdIiisl the rich man, but it seeks to do equal Jtrstico to all inter ata in tho cimmuulty. It 1s not theoriran of any perMin, clasH, aeet or party. Theto nted bo no mystery about, its loves and hates. J t H for the bouoet mau upainst the nicuen every lime, I. ia lor the honest pemociat as against the diBhouot llepubllcan, and for the hours, ltrpuhlirau as a en Hint Iho diHiinneat Democrai. It tloe not takolts cue irnin the i-tterauces if any politi cian or politloil organization. Ittives Usup port unio,4arvolly when men ormeasutes uietu as?ioeinent with the Constitution and with the principles upon which this ltcpu'j.lc was found, ed for tae iwiople. Waencver the counltutton and cmstuut'ot'al principles are violated aslu the outra,ias conspiracy ot 1876, by which a in-n not elected was placed In the PrcsiCeut's fflee, where he still lemain It speaks out lor toe rtcbt. That Is Tuu wL'.'a Idea of iLdepeu deuce. In thi recte( t t hero will benochan;e In tt pre ffrnmnio fur lb79. TilKtiUKhasfalriy earned the bearty hatred ot ru-calit, f audit aud humbuiraof allaoitsaud aizns It hope tedo-erve that hatred not icnOn theyour 1S71I, than In it77, orauy year tone by. 'J HE UN la printed for the men and voineu of to da v whose concern ia chUfly Willi the at. tail b ul to cay It his both tue dt-pimtioii aud ability toutrordHartu.deiathe prouipteai luller-t and uiott ftcuraie imcli gent'euf hiitvoriu the wide word lu W rth atleui'on. To thla end the resources bcJoupincltowellntabildbed pr a peiity will belibtiiiiiy tmu.oyed. Tte pn-sseut dij iluu'd condition of parties in thla eouutri ano tho uucertaintv ot ihe future, leuii unexiiaoiUiuaiy rtuidtleauce to tho events of tue coujiuk year to preoeut with accu lacy aitd cl arueat Ihuexuct wt nation in each of it varyltiK phae, ii d toexiHthi according to its wed known nitttioda, th pr iicip.ea tuat nhoma uuidu-tin tmtU tlio labyrinth, will be au Inn ui tint i an of Tim bUN'a work for 17 iv have tho tutuoaio m-ko TUB HUH, as a lo it ion u a literary aud a neutral newapapei. luoreeuteriainlnte aud more neful thau ever uituru i Mud we uieau toappiy thorn lieelv uur iatsvtof auoscnptiou remain unctiungel For the DAILT bU.N a lour pago aneet id tnenly eluht coiumua. thHiira-oby mull postpmd, uta a mouth or (J.50 a year i or. lucmdiuic tho buuoay paper, au elRatpaire sheet ot uitvslx coluuinB.t jo priceisUitcvutaa uioath, or i 7,70 a ye.u, poalage puid. '1 he tuuday ecltion of The 8 us ii alsolur. nlahed separately at 9 .20 a year, po-tarn (aid. The tl'MiAT tsvs, lu additiou to the current iietVd pietteiitaa moteuteitaluluii and iutruo live body of literary and miaeoilauei.us mutur lu b -U twice as irieat and m value not tuleilor, li tsi.il of tbo heat uioutbly uiJtiiEiucs uf lie day, m on ii leiitb of tbe r umI. l ha Wkkcly bus m etsrtnsPv aunntAil for It lose who co not take a New Yor ilaijy lutpcr. Thenewa ol tho w ek ia fudy ireruted. Us luurfce: n-poiUttio tuimabel to (no late-1 mo. went, anu ita uericultuial ileparliueut, t Oiled Willi tarn cireanu ubintv.H uununuiuieti. Tut v KKKLT bus 'apiobabiv inad to-day by molt ifatiutrr Ithuu auy ittber paior pun labed A choice story with other careiully prepared mm iceUauy, apocar tu tarh tuj. The Week y protect, luroauera bv burlng its adveriianii; co uiuus aaaluat tranea and huuibugit aud lur nlrihiiuor f-oi matter f-tr ies moue thau i can oe obtained from unvoth r tu.urce. Thpiiceof the utlKLV bUk, elicit pAKea. fltty-s xuuius,ii ft a ver. 1-010 lmiu 1 l-'orcltbaot t 'U aendiJar 10 we will boudau vx Uu cony ti e. Audi i-aa , I W KNni.ANI) 1 Publisher of TUB St'N, pw Vwk t.lty. Ttc, it i. Monufactnror of and Dealer In STOVES, RANGES AND HEATERS, Till and Sheet-Iron Ware ai General House Wsdm Gooils. UOOrirVCJ anil SI'0LTI ilnno at siiort notice nud at LowcU Cash Prices. T nm the nuthnruied nae t for the Sato of the folloMlnir FIRST-CLAWS STOVES THE SILVER A GOLD M EDALCOOK, THE LIOIITHOUSE TOOK, THE MAYFLOWER KAXOH, THE SUNSHINE RANGE and 1 ho NEW ANCHOR HEATER, and nm Selling them VE It V C1IEA P lor fash. I'scrvklndof MOVeTcHIATEH and FIRE BRICKS kept constantly on hand. Store on SOUTH Street, A few doors abovo Bunk St., LEUIQIITON. Pntronnao solicited Sutlstactlon iniarnnterd. Olt.6-yl A. D.IOSSEU. The Grainiest Exposition Of Ladles', Gents', and Children's Boots, Shoes! Gaiters Evei circled In this vicinity. Is at J. M.FRITZINGEIl'S, Bank Street, Leliigliton, Pa. I liaroluKt received a full linnol VATjL find WlaN'l J3H JIOOT.S, HOK8 and RUlinFIlh. which I am Selling to tho people of T-o'.ip;Utoii and the hnrroiuid'uc neiclitorliood CIII5A i'UIt Tit A.N KVlIt JIKlrOUK boldlu tins County. lieu, 1111 ujuhm a vi Boots & Shoes Made to Order at Astonishingly Low Prices, and MENDING Neatly done m lice to suit the tlmea. I mvlto the pib 10 to cull and examine m? Stock and Prices heioro puroiasimr eltewhore, nni be convinced of the nbove facts. HOUND Til HATIdFV.-lleiulT.roadoUoats and hboes bonirnt of mo that rin will bu renal r. od without rhrjrn. Thiinkfal fur past patronage. I rc spec fully osk a i'untluuanco tUeuof. .1. JU. 1' lU II.NUI.lt, Two dno-R ttelnw Itoiniir A IlttfTurd'n tlnn incci Workr, llauk strccc. Oct. C yl c VUBON ADTOCATE CHEAP JOB PMNTDG OFFICE, LLUIGIITON, pa. Jtvcry description of Pnntlne, from a Visiting Card to a Poster. CARDS. 1171. L HEADS, LETTER nEADS, NOTE HEADS, STATEMENTS. PROUHAMMES, POSTERS, HANDBILLS. DODdERS, CIRCULARS, SHIPPING TAO-, ENVELOPES, PAMPHLETS. BY-LAWS. 4C, AC. Duno in the best manner, at very Lowest Prices. Wo are nrenarcd to do Murk at ns chesp ratca asniiv oillco lnino htato that ceals hJin.tly with lis customers. OUR MOTTO IS Cheap, Prompt & Eeliablo. rSTOrdcra by omall rcclvc prompt J7)rimc Homo Mado Ilrcad ! WHY GO HUNOTtYl When yon can Buy CH pounds et Fiut CKus III cad - FIVE LOAVES FOU 25 CKN'TS I J. V. O'NHAL, the popular Urcod nndCnke Maker, of LciiiRhlou in ordcrtomevt ihe nants of tho times has itoc need tiel'r.coof ulsce.e bratod Uome Mado IlUUAD to Five Loaves for Twenty-five Cts. Cash. Sugar, Italsln. Coro'nut Scotch, Drop, Cream aud other UAKKS, only Ten Cents per Dozen. Look Out for tho Wngon! At MAU Oil CHUNK, on Tuesday, Thursday and Hnturdny Monnncs. LIIKflirOsSaudW ftlSaPOUT.evcry After noou except 1-rtday. TERMS STRICTLY CASH I Patronnenxolicltod. J. W. O'NEAL, isrount Opiioaite First National Bank;. aprlUyl JJiucMeeu Lcalftutou Pa, JJ.EED THE HUNGRY !! A. K. MILLER Itespectlu'lv announces to tbe elllsena or Te blfihton aud vlclnitr that he bus JUST OPEN ED an EatinQ SalooNM Il the Building next door tn tho "CARBON HOUE." on 13ank Street, Leliigliton, Pa., and that be Is prepired to furnish them with EdibUsot a.l kinds on aboit notice, OYSTERS EVERY STYLE, ltecclred Flesh Every Dav. Tea, Cofice, Ham, Eggs, Bo logna, Sec. Also, a Choice assortment of the Finest Brands of Cigars, Smoking & Chewing Tobacco Always on hand at Lowett Pr'ces. The patro ntfee of tho public U most rospcctrmiv invited, ana tatlstactiou fruar.nteed, OIVE 'tE A CALL. AUG. K. MILLER. October it. Ir. yR. Olcrlioltzcr's Liniment, CAMPHOR MILK. Is now blcblv recommended and exrenalvelr use.1 for Rheumatism, Fro.ted Fret, Achis l'elna. Knrt'i.. Klmua. Hvk.1,fic km.l. , It isot lh9KTeatit v.duo in cuiins Cuts.UaLs, j bp sins end swrbluira lu holara, II acts qulrklr aud surely. It at onre mxdliea I au.l reticles the stilTJoiuta. the L- lne Mnclea , ' d lne Achlllu Nrives. The in out-V will bo paid back to aur one mil .all fln.l ur.tK i,a A lect.. Pnce if emits, a boltloi for fl. Pic pured tx Lull Oheibolticr. U. D. Tli 11 IMitRiilx Poctnrnl. ilea prove I Itrell in oapecullarlv adapted to old perm. conump,lte updi-hlliinn. Ii brea.a a cold. It sloa a cou-h It aids eipeelnr.itlon. It mves Instant relief It aires a rruaih. It briiiRiret. It baa mode moro cuiea t uuauv other luedlcue. Tbousaid. ol ltiucltli.ua ot bu.teru I'.nn.ylv. uu l.a.o useil it lorieara !' l ."''JL"1 fv to Ibe rei.it alvrnauilrureacf Incud Price, 21 ceut it a I on ira fur I i rr. lured bi Lvl Obrrbollsi r M. D , ana tor t-ale b A.J Dl'illIiJ,LeurtiuD Nov tJ-ea, New Advertisements. SHERIFF'S SALES OF VALUABLE HEAL ESTATE Ilrvlrtneof sandiv writs of Lvabi Facias and Venditioni kxponas isaned out of the Cnnrt ut common Pit as of Cnrnnn couuty there will be exposed nt Publio Sale, at tne Couit House, In tbe Bironuh of Mnucb Cbnulc, ou Saturday, January 18, 1879. atONE o'clock P.M..thefil!owina;propcttles! All that err Win LOT AND PIECE OF OliOUND, sltuateon ihe north aide ol White Street, in the viliaeo ot cnmnilt Hill. Cuibon couutv. Pennsylvania, numbertd In the plan or plot ibercot Number Thlrtv-scven end Thirty iiluo, contaiuinp; In tiont or breadth on tatd White stieet sixty feet, and extending theuco northward at right anrlea one hundred and twentv-Uve feet to a certain allev i bonnoed notthwanilv by sold allev, eaeiwatdly by lot Nnmoer Forti-one .outhwtirdiy bv white street, and westwaidly by lot Number Thirty live, Tho Improvements thereon are a ONE AND A 11 ALK STORY FRAME DWEL LING HOUSE, being one half block:, slxleon by sixteen feet Kitcuon attached, iwelro by sixteeu feett Ont Kitchen, nine uy twelve feet. Kolr.rd aim taken Into cxocutlon as tbe prop city of Houry o. Miller. -a"l?o.- All that certain LOT OR PIECE OF OltOUND situate on the nrrih side of Whito strrct, in ttummli Ulil, County of Carbon, rtato ot Petiiiaylvanlu, numbered in the plan crph.t thereof. Numu-r twintvnine, coutnlning a front or breadth on said White tt., tbiriv feet, extending thence nortbwiiidiy onebuudied and twouti-Ilve loet, to a iwcnty leet wide alley i Rounded norlh byaaid allev, cast by lot Num. der tniity.ono. somb by White street, and wet by Chest nut sti ect. The Improvements thereon aroa one and a half story FRAME DWELLING HOUSE. belnirone hnlf block, sixteen bv eixte.'n feett Ono Mol v Kltrlien sixtrrn tit twrnti- kit fnt one undone halt ftory Dwelllni: House, four- srizeil and taaen into cxocutlon as tho prop erty ol Tr.ouias btrouso, ALSO,- A11 thnt certain LOT or PT f.t 'R nrnrtiinvn situate ou the norlh side of White street. It. the viiusu ui summit juii.uuruon cuuuiv.i'ennsyi. vnnu. nuiiilioieil in the plun or plot ihetui slxty-nve.coutalulnv In front or breadth on said Whito meet, thirty feet, and extending thtnee northwaid one hundred .tnd tn sutv llvn fnn tn n twenty feet wide aliovt bcnudixl north bv ruu unvy. ouai, vr lutrtuinuer vixtv .seven, south by White Street, ui.d west by lot No. Six. ty.threo. The Improvements thereon aro a TWO STURY FRAME DWELLING HOUSE, being ono hall n block, sixteen bv twrntv six leeti kitchen, one story ten by twelve feeti s.able, tuelvo by eighteen teet. Scixed and tatten into execution as thoprdp. erty of llllim W.lck. ALSO. All Unit certain LOT or PIECE ot GROUND, situcte on tbo nurthwerd shlo of setond street. In tbo Boronch of Wcalherly, county of carbon and state ot Pennsylvtinla. numbered In the plan nf the extension ot the town plot of Wtalb. ellyon (trorlidiof Avi I'acaer on ) hundred nod Illivetaht leet, coutaiulni; in tiont orbiendlh on hoIu becond a'lect thnty-thMofeel. und ox tending nnrttiwiirdiv of that nreadth between oainliel llnus at rlitht angles with said sire, t n distance ot one hundretl and flliv-iiTO fret to nortn nllcvt bounded northwnru y by north ai ley.ensiwardly bv lot No. One bnndrod ml six tv, simthwnrdly nv becond stieet and west wind bv lot Nn. One hundred aua xtltxr six. 'Inolmpioveuicntstiioicoii srea DWELLING HOUSE. ?Z x 30 feel, with Kitchen attachea H x 14 feet t Ht,.tiio, lax jaieei .. Biiltd and token into execution as the prop criyot U. D. Rouse. ALSO. All that certain messuago, tcnemont and two contiguous TRACTS OF LAND, aituato in Mahoning township Carbon county, btatoot Penusyivauia bounaea aua dcscr.btd as tollowa. to wit : 1 1 met beginning at a post, thr nco bv land ol Daniel Miller, Jr., noi Hi uixtv seven and nue uuK regrees, w. et tuht peicnes to a stone : thuice bv liiml ot Iho snme routh elxbly.sevcn nnd one-hall degree, west thlrir-sevt n perches to a rtoue i tbeneo by land ol Jon tthau Kessel, south seventy degiees, MCBtlhirly-seven per chea to a stimo i thenee by land 01 John Iteln snutli noith elgnty.emhi. and one-bait peicbes. ea-t live pcrcbos toa stnuoj theuco by Ilex's land uortu oghlv eight una onMinit oegnes, eiut twontv peaches to ti stone . thence by land of thoaimo south nino degiecs. west tneniv s-ven perches to a stone i thence still by tho snme south cjtrhti lour aud thiee-fourths dr. Klees.enst twenty lour pcicbesto a post, Ihenco to other lands ol Jobs lleliz norlh lour and one fourth iictriees east sixty two perches to the plncool bcfrniulng, contalulug THIRTEEN Al'RES ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-IUVE 1'EllCHl-S stitct mCHsure 2 't'ractrbeginning at a stone.thcr.ee by land ol Mosos bnjuer four and ono hall doiiiees.eaii s.xty two oeiches to a stone . thence bv land ot Juui; Smith norlh eighty live percheaand three teuthB to a sioue thence bv land ot J'aul Ual. lutBonihtwotlegreeB. east thlrly avo peicbes to a wlilce oak , thence by the same south four leeu deuroes, west tweniy six peicbes to a Blnuoi thrnco by lnndot Daniel Milter.ir..kouUi sixty elvht ana one hnlf uegrecs, eaM uve aud coLli'lUuB ,M'''C'1C" 10 ,nc Vfce ut begiunlug, T,VO ACRES, moro or loss, Tito Improvements therccn aiea T7.0-ST0RY FRAME DWELLING, twenty six x twenty Iwo end one half foot i out kitchen, t -u .na on bilf x seven and one half lee 1 1 Uuin, twenty lour x twenty tour leeli bprlug iinuso, eleven x eleven feet ; and other outhulldincs. eielxed and taiien Into exocation as the prop eity of Daniel E Frlu. -ALiO, n!,,').' ' i-Or OR PIECE OF QROUND, situate on, the norlh side of Wosl . A. "rv t mo vi ifge or Asnioo, couutv cl Carbon. Htato ol 1'ennsvlruuis, numnered In ..-. n.icu, (-UilVHIIilllK IU :''!" "S bieaaih ou said West Reitscb street thirty fret, and etteudiug ihenco noithwjrdly puonnuOied aud tllly Let to other grounds uf the Lenigii Coal and Naviration Company t Uoiimled norlh bv grounds ol tbe JehlgaCoal and Navigation Company o.st by lot Numhrr Nine, south bv West bertiob slr.et, aud west by lot N umber tblrteeu. The Improvements thereon are a TWO STORY FRAMEDWELLINQ HOUSE. uluo by twenty feet. Seised and tasen Into execution as tbe prop crtyolJamusMuruhy. -aIZo.- All that certain Messuage, Tenement and TRACT OF LAND, situate In the Township uf Mahoning, County ot Cjrbon, aud Stale ut Peun-ylvanla, bouuded and described as fol owe. to wit i Drglnnluir at a stone in the middle of the road, thrnco by land ol David Kocher south twenty degrees, cast lourteiu perthca to a atones thence by ihe ajine north seventy six degiets, seven and six tenths perches to a slouo, theme by Ihe same soutu twenty de grees, east tweuty one and eight truths porch es ton stone i thrnco bv tbe sameuoith soveu-ty-slx degiecs, seieu cud six tenths perches to a Btouo i theuoe by the sameuoith twenty de. grecs. east iweuty-one and elghi-tenta peicbes toastouet thence by the same north seventy, six decrees east eleven ami a quarter oerebes tu a pest t Itenre by the same south tltteen and cue halt degirea. eu-t foity and ono half pen li es to a post i theuce by tne aamo north seventy, seven aud three loui lb cegreea, asi ttiirtern and taree-sixtas pouhea toa suae i thence south thirtocu draices, east tweuty aeven and onr.slxii perches to a tlnue t theuce by uua of Jacob lCrmrrer south tweuty two ami one-half doirees, west thirty six aud tniee fourths paicltos to a postt theuce by laud 1 1 Nathan Alosser south thirty-lour aud oue-hslf degrees, went ninety two and nue-hall peicbes to a post i thence by thoaameuoith tweuly-twu degrees, t well e aud niue-touth. perches to a post.tuence along a pnbllo mau leading to Lehisbtou noitb seventy two and a hail dearres, tweuty nlue and Ihiee -litha peiehea to the place ol begin ning, coutaluiug TWENTY THREE ACRES A ONE HUND RED AND FORTY ONE PKRCUNB strict measure. Tbe Impioveinents, thereon are a TWO STORY FRAME DWELLINO HOUbE slxtern ty inenty four feet i Kitchen attached, rlcbiecD bv twenty lour li-ett Out Kitchen, Iwtlre bylourteeu leeli Darn. teaty eght l y thlrly feet, and Ouibniluings, belied and taken into execution as the prop' ettyolLydu ana Nathan beusiuger. and to be sola by J. W. RAUDENOUtSU, bhenff. fihenirs OIBll, Msilf li Chuuk, Die 13 1878. dmlnlstrator's Notice. Estate o JojAuo KloU, Jcc'd, Notice Is brrebv riven th ,t Irttrra of Admin. Is'ratiou utiou tbeesuteol Johua K.ols tale if Mahon-uu- township. Caruou rnuniy. pa. dec'u. uaveb ou grauted lu Ihe u'.oeouj ed. All persons kuowiug theuiselves to be lailrbted toruid eatste w.li make iwimeut wlltin sis , weeks uui thu-e baMiig cia.ms wil pieseut I theal du.y anllirutlraieil for eet.lemelil to 1 THOMA'i HOttN, AdJolnlatrstor. , itahcrl Tew ,ihlp Nov. :, Ir7 rd the nivmn of Tinn. BT I.. O. ChARK. Oht a wonderful si renin Is tlie river ol Time, as ii runs ttirougn t tie realm ol tears, Willi a faultless rvthin ami ft musical rhyme Ana a uroaucr sweep, and a surge sublime. As it blends with tho ocean ol years. How tho winters are drifting like flakes of snow, And tlio summer like, buds botween, go Ami uie years in tuo sural so tnev come ana n ft, a 1.. . , .l.u 1 n v.. i. ...iioo vivt.o.p cuu i.uu win, As it glides in tho shadow and sheen. There's a magical Islo up the river of Time, Where the softest airs aro playing ; There's a cloudless sky, and a tropical clime, Anu a song as sweet as a vesper cm me, And tho Junes with tho roses are staying. Tho name of this Isle is tho Lone Ami. And wo'burv our treasures there. Tsnow. There are bruws of beauty, and bosoms of nicy are now uenps ol uust, but wo loved them so, There are trinkets nnd tresses of hair. There aro fragments of song thai nobody sings, And a part of an Infant prayer, strings, There's a lute unswept. and a harp without A,.-..- u.u uiuaui nil,. jjiv;a 111 iiuja, And tho garments she used to wear. Thcro aro hands that aro waved when tho fairy shoro By the mirage is lifted to air, lent roar And we sometimes hear through tho turbu Sweet voices wo heard hi tho days gono before, When tho wind down the river is fair. Oh I remembered for nye be that blessed Islo, Alt the days of our life till night, smile, When tho oveuing comes with its beautiful And our eyes are closing to slumber n whllo. May that Greenwood of soul be in sight. Precept and Practice. All quiet; a blight fire burning In the polished store; tho pussy-cat purring sleepily on the rug; tho deck ticking, llko silver drops of water on the man tie piece; nnd Mrr. Ives' needle glancing in and out of her work like a small ray of lightnlnc. Tho children were ult tucked snugly up In bed, for Mr. Julius Ives' liked to be quiet when lie camo home from business, and Mrs. Ives was the most devoted and obedient of conju gal partners. It was an exquUltely neat room -a room where tho sweet home element predominated In every nook and corner n room to whl.'li the tired business man might look forward all day, a haven of rel and peace. The clock struck eight; pussy stretch ed herself drowsily before the lire, and Mr. Ives laid down the paper with a preparatory "Amen!" "And now, Melissa," ho said, au thorltlvely, "you niny bring me your house bills." Poor Mrs. Ives started In her chair as If a cannon ball Jiad cautiously thun oered Into the silence of the cozy little apartment. How much she dreaded the Weekly recurrence of this domestic ukase was only hiiown to herself. It was Ihe bkeleton In her closet the one embitterrlng element ol her happy home life tbe haunting ghost that no diplomacy had yet enabled ber to exor cise. Yet, llko a well-trained wife as slio was, she brought the tiny packet of bills, and snt dovvu meekly at her hus band's side Sho was a pretty woman, tall and graceful, with straight regular features, rosy cheeks, aud nolt, wistful eyes that looked like brown velvet; a woman whoso hands were always white and delicate, and whose dresses always seemed to fit by innglo. Kor was Mr. Julius Ives a disagree able specimen of mankind to look upon, lie was large and finely formed, with black hair strongly disposed to curl at the ends, aud bright b'ack eyes, Yet, nevertheless, there was a certain curve In Mr. Ives upper Up that savored sotne what of the Imperative mood. "Butter again! that's flvo pnundi we have used within tho week," woaned Mr. Ives, checking off the various items of tbe grocer's bill with Iho little gold pencil that hung at his watch-chain. "My dear, does Bridget grease the kitchen pans with buttei?" Mrs. Ives cheek glowed. ''Now, Julius, what Is the use of talking In that sarcastic sort of way? You know very well that a family like ours cannot subsist on air and you like to have all tbe cooking very rich, you know" "Rich! I should think so. Him cod fish. Uy the way, Melissa, Jones says they only buy meat three times a week have R cold every other day. His wife knows how to economize. I 6up pose you haven't the least Idea what becomes of the olnts after they leave the table?" "I have no donbt ot Bridget's per fect honesty, Julius." "Oh, no of course not. Out I do tblnk, Melissa, It Is a wife's duty to pay some attention to ber husband's; pock et." "Why, our bills are not dispropor tionately large, Julius." "They must be, my dear they must be. Positively its enough to frighten one to run overthese Items In the house keeping accounts! Sugar raisins oil -oysters! Melissa do I keep a retau rant? if not where do all these things go?" Mrs. Ires was silent. "Bread steaks Joint two tool of coall Upon my word!" Still Mrs. Ives maintained complete taciturnity. "Melissa," said her husband, placing the bills rather emphatically on the ta ble, "we must turn over a new leaf we must, pisltlvely. Can't you re trench expenses?" "How?" "Iu a thousand way, my dear, Why my mother never spent half the money you contrive to tpeud, and there was twelve of us." "Your mother lived on a farm, Julius. The milk, butter cheese and vegetable ' -,.. t i . .. .i .i-i... , , ' I enr iiuiu 111 i i.t u ai... umiit tuu meat and poultry were from tw own barnyard and pasture. I don't think It fair to Institute a comparison between her expenses and mine." 'Oil, that's the way you women all talkl" tald Mr. Ives, Impatiently. "All I know Is that there must bo a screw loosi) 6omewhcre. You roust economize." "But, Julius-" "My love, don't you sea I'm Just lighting my cigar'' I can never smoke when my mind Is any way dlatutbed. Suppose we dismiss the subject? I am quite sure that I have stated my wishes on tho subject with (uffloleut distinct nees." Mrs. Ives bit her coral lip ai d sewed away vigorously on her work. But If her thoughts could have descended In a shower-bath of words on Mr. Julius Ives' devoted head; how tbey would have startled him from tho calm pla. cency of his mood! "Yes, I'll economize," thought Mrs. Melissa, vindictively digging tho thread through tho seams, "I'll give him enough of retronchmenl;'why will a mau relinquish his dignity so far as to Inter fere In matters be cannot possibly un derstand! I wouder If he thinks nine persons lire on a pint ot milk and two baked potatoes a day? I wonder If he knows that I make all the puddings and pies, and glrn out the tea ar.d coffee, and superintend everything myself?" He might know, If he would take the trouble to Inquire, Instead of Indulging In sweeping denunciations. I wonder If he ever suspects that I trim my own bonnets and make my own dresses, and make my little ones' clothes, and save necessary outlays? It's almost enongh to make a womau wish she had never got married I" But then Melissa thought of the rosy littlo ones fast asleep up-slalrs, and concluded on the whole there were somo sunbeams lu her lot. "nallo, Elmert Why, surely, this Is not you?" "Well, I don't know who else It can bo," coolly remarked thu handsome; brouz' d looking gentleman, who had lounged Into Mr. Ives' office "And I've brought Harry Lamarque with me you remember him, don't you?" "Remember him I thould think so. And we haven't met before since our college days. Weil, I declare; this Is a curious coincidence! You'll both of you promise to come and dine with me to day at five o'clock, wou't you? Come I'm tsure, you hnveu't any other en gagement, and I'll iutroJuco you to my wife." 'I'll come," said Elmer promptly: "and I'll eugage to bring Limarque with inc." "But you are not going?" "I must I've no eud of business to transact; but we'll haro a regular chat at dinner, old boy." Melissa bad hardly despatched her littlo baud of chubby faced chlldred to school that morning, when tlie office- boy came knocking at the door, with a note. "From Mr. Ives, ma'am, there ain't no answer." The nole ran as follows; "I shall bring two old college mates, Elmer and Lamnrque, to dinner. Let It bo on the table promptly at tlx. Your affectionate Julius." Mrs. Ives t Ided up the note aud de posited it In her desk with a comical smile hovering around her mouth. 'Economy Is tho order ot the day, she thought. It was a bleak day toward the end of December with a raw wind, aud sky overladen with clouds; and Mr. Ives' nose, was decidedly ringed with blue as he ushered his two shivering guests Into thu parlcr. Walk In, gentlemen walk In and warm yourselves,1' he said, with hos pitable favor, rubbing his hands. But contrary to all his expectations- contrary to the usual domestic arrange ments prevailing In that household, there was no fire In the stove the air waj as damp and chilly as that ot a masoleum. Julius bit his lip and repressed the rather demonstrative, expression that was rising to his tongue. "Be seated, gentlemen; I will recti fy this mistake Immediately," he said, eavlng the room. "How Is this? No fire, and the room like an Ice-welll" was his petutent exclamation; as he met his wife In the hall. "Coal Is seven dollars a ton, Julius; It Is necessary for us to economize," said Melissa demurely. "Send the maid Ibis minute to kindle a fire," said Julius, his teeth chatter lug. "Ar.d my dear, you are surely not going into the room lu that faded old dress?" "Of course I am. My best illk Is beginning to wear ;and aa I cau't afford another, I must bu as economical as possible," Julius Ives made a queer grimace; he didn't at all like the Idea ot swallowing his own words. And Melissa walked Into the presence of his friends, faded old dress and alt. Six o'clock Isn't dinner nearly read)?" asked Mr. Ives, consulting his chromometer, with a bort ot warn ing glance at bis wife. Melissa rose, and at tbe same Instant dinner was muounced. Now Mrs. Ives was a capital house keeper, who possessed tbe faculty of getting up tempting dinners un short notice. So Julius naturally expected a repast suitable to the occailon. What was his dismay on beholding tbe cold, hacked Joint ot yesterday, tlankd by a filar rultntru-sf Vlmur ainl T mr,,nal lock their rests with polite uococclouf- ness, but Julius looked black as a thun der cloud. "Mollssa, what does this mean?" he whifperrd. "Does what mean, my love?" asked Melissa with a taceof the most Innocent wonder In the world. Just at that moment the littlo Iveses all burst Into tho room, shabby and patched. As a general thing Julius was passing proud of his pretty, well dressed children. "Go and get dressed, my dears," he said sternly. "What on earth does nurse mean by allowing you to come down stairs in tbiu outlandish man uer?" Wo are drethed, papa," lisped out Master July, with tho boldness of con scious rectitude. "Mamma laid out the clothes for uth. Tho thays It is econ econ " But Mr. Julluilves hurried and hus tled tho little ones out of the room with out waiting for any further explana tion. "Melissa," he said, earnestly, draw ing his wife aside Into the baj window, "what Is tbo matter? Aro you crazy?" "Not crazy, love," sweetly answer ed Melissa. "Only trying to follow the example ot Mrs. Jones, and re trench." "But, my dear" "Pardon me, Julius; you said that my extravagant housekeeping was 'wasting you out of house and home.' I think after this you will hardly ven ture to make that accusation a second time." "My dear, I I I was a fool," snld Julius, with a choking sensation under the bow of his cravat. '"I wou't Inter fere In house-keeping affairs again, I promise you. I am quite convinced that I know (nothlng whatever about the subject, Hereafter I will leare the matter entirely In your hands." "Entirely, tnnd without Interfer ence?" asked Mrs. Ives, decisively. Mrs. Ives turned to her two puzzled guests. "Gentlemen, wilt you walk In the other room ?" shu asked, with a calm self-possession that astonished them. As she spoke, the folding doors were thrown back, rovenllng an elegant little aparluicnt beyond. Julius walked to the head of a second table with a most whimsical face. There wt re roast fowlg and ham, while various vegetable were arranged lu tempting proximity. The glass and silver wero all lu a glitter, and a dainty little dessert was neatly arranged on the tideboard. Julius Ives' whole faco cleared with magical promp titude. He tuined around and gave his wlfo a hearty kiss before he commenced to carve the chicken. What Messrs. Elmer and Lamarque thought Just then Is not on record ; but when Melissa came in, subsequently to the after-dinner cigars, with the little Iveses clustering around her, as fresh and roy as so many pink and white daisies, they must assuredly havo con cluded that Julius knew what he was about when he married that pretty wo man, with her brown eyes and coral red mouth. And before tbe evening was out, Mr Ives fancied that his domestic discom fiture was tho good a Joke to keep to himself, and so confided the whole story to his friends. "Of course Mrs. Ires was right," said Elmer. "To be sure she was," assented La m.irque. "I tell you, Jute, yuu mado a donkey of yourself that time." Nor did Mr. Ives venture to deny the solf evident fact. From that day to this he has nerer said a word good, bad, nr Indifferent against the house keeping bills. DtlltLIXnTO.-l HAWKtVE ITL3IS. Don't make so much fun of Alexander Stephens. Ho isn't nearly so thin as somo men are short. " Ncvor believe a lazy man," says the observant Kmallf the Atlanta Constitution, " fur lie lios hair tho time." Oppressed humanity can't stand every thing for over. Tha oitiuiii have begun hanging the weather prophets iu western Iowa. " They never fail," sang Byron, " who die in a groat cause." Which is ju.t where they diffor from New Jersey savings banks, which do. Ono of the saddest and most vexatious trials that comes tn a girl when sho marries, is that she has to discharge her mother and depend upon a hired girl. Three hundred thousand men and wo men live in New York at boarding houses, aud yet people wonder that dyspepsia is ou tho increase iu this country. Probably about the best way to put a stop to this grave robbery business would be, in every rase where a grave is rifled, to fill tha vacancy promptly with a medical stu dent. Miss Gibbons, of Pennsylvania, the qusker orator,is in tbe field this season with a new lecture, "Will the publio endure ?" It will, Mariauna, it will j it will enduro any thing but Sammy Tilden. A vagrant confined in tho Dca Moines county jail, pleasantly advertises " an easy business, with light work, and requiring no capital, for sale, for the reason that the pro prietor desires to retire from business." There were one thousand two hundred exhibitors at the Paris exposition this year, and thus far one thouund three hundred and seventy-four have received the highest awards made to their respective line, one thousand four hundred and sixty-nine of this number being sewing machines and the remaining one thousand five hundred and eight being pianos. Aud yet there are sever al counties to hear from. We find suggestions in tho press that people try cream-eating instead of butter eating, as being mora conductive to a real enjoyment of food. Sweet cream! Just think of it, and try a taste. If a demand be ! created, the supply will come, and farmers will b. b.tfi'wo so j rjsteoisrs pleated, TIII8 AND THAT. There Is nothing llko a shorthand reporter to take a man down. . The day after washing day Is oua ot aad Irony. A prima dona le naturallly a' timid creature, fur her art is always In liar throat. A western woman has lost two hn. hands by liahtulng. (ihe ought tu mar. ry a conductor. A paper that Is always full ot good points a paper of needles. The only unfavorable report about Grandfather's Clock is that-It weal ninety years on tick. "Why should wo celebrate Wah- tnuton'a birthday more than mine?" asked a teacher. "Because he never told a Mel" shouted a little boy. Exact from a romance "with ona hand lie held her bpautlful golden brad above the chilling waves and with the other called loudly tor asststanco.'f "We never saw a man," says an exchange, "who thought It a sin tn xteal an umbrella." Then you never saw a mau whose umbrella had' just been stoleu. In England you will aometlmei stumble upon fortified places whprn you least expect them. For instance, We.-tmlr.ster Abbey has no less than twelve cantos. - The Five Staaes nf Brandv and Water, First Brandy an I water. Sec. ond Itrnuny and warwer. Third Bran warr. Fourth Brraorr. Fifth- Collapse! The class la eramrnar will nleasa stand np and answer this question! -now uo you parse me wortl dollarT1' "Please, sir, It It Is a trade dollar, you parse it for ninety oents." Mrs. P. says she Is much disinfect. ed with her nowresijenc'ecomparlsonrd wnii uer ultl one.whlcli wan on the road to a populous syrnetery.vvhero she was enll.ened sometimes by seeing a dozen luuerais aay. A tramp claimed to have drank brandy and water with Nea I Dow. and the whole slate of Maine was aultated; but ha subsequently explained that Im drank the brandy and Neal tho water, and peace was Immediately restored. "Madam, did you ever lift a doaby the tall?" "Why, no, you cruel thing, you." "I. didn't know, becati-e I )u-t saw you carry your llltle child across the gutter by one arm. A dog's tall la a good deal stronger than the Hg-imeuU nf a baby's shoulder." An old man watt still cutting wood In the swamp near New Orleans In vir tue of a permit granted him by General liutler, and even sells the rlgtit of cut ting wood under tills order, which, he claims, has never been revoked. "I must get mairied,"said a bach elor to a married friend, "fur I never can find a button on a cleaj shirt " 'Take oare,"nald Benedict, with a sigh "or jou may chance upon a wife who will not find you a clean shirt tu but ton. William Irwin a few days ago, at CrowCnek, Dak., accomplished the feat ot shooting dead In their track 101 Texas Steers at 101 conclusive shuts with a Winchester rifle, all fur a bet nf a box of cigars. The carcasses were made Into Indian beef. "How much do you charge for a bologna sausage that will reach from one of my ears to the other?" asked a soldier In Berlin of a daler. "Fifty kretilzers," was the reply. "I tako the offer" replied Ihe soldier, "one of my ears was cut off in a battiea thousand miles from here." There was a com. promise. Bismarck to Kaiser William: "I dinks id might t bo betterish lu shtop dein znclulisd babers dot makes all ills vuolishness, don't Id?" "Yaw, Otto, yust sent nioundt zome zoldlers tomor row und glose ub der office. Derbeii bles 1st zuch a let of gnnvounded vno'4 uut idiots dot dey voud never knowdey vos boor und ragged uut shlarvliig, vn dey dont haf zome editor ash told deia abouit It, eh?" Rs.uf.dt roa IIabd Tutus. Slop spending so much on fine clothes, rich food and atyle. Buy good healthy food, cheaper and better clothing; get more real and substantial things of lite everyway, and especially ship the foolish habit of running after expensive and niuck doctors or using so much of the vile humbug medicine that does you only harm, and makes the proprietors rich, but put your trust in the greatest of all simple, pure remedies, IIopBittcrs,tbstcuresalways at a trilling cut, and you will see. better times and good health. Try it once. Jtra4 of it in another oolumn, If. A young man from tho country was In town und entered a photograph gallery to have his picture taken. After seating him, the operator told him to assume a pleasant expression. "Think of something cheerful," hosald; "think of your girl " A terrible scrowl took possession of tho young man's face.and jumping up he exclaimed; "Think of the dcuct ? She weut homo with anoth er fellow last night, and she can go to Ihunder.for me" He evideutly thought of her, but tha pleased expression was not lortiicoiuiug. The last feather. While the monkey ot an organ-grinder was quietly al'tlng upon a barrel in full costume a terrier dog made a da-di at hi in. Thu monkey awaited the onslaught wl hsuch liumov. able tranquility that the dug was non plussed and stopped short within a few feet to reconnoitre, ltoih animals star ed steadily at each other, but the dog finally recovered from his surprise ami was about to niakn a spring At this Juncture Ihe monkey lifted his hat by way of saluto. ThU mixture of thn ways of monkey and man was too much for the dog. Ills tail dropped and he rin away. A Rockland man gave a vet into his wire's hands to bo repaired, and when he came home to dinner khe show ed him three pencil stubs, a piece ot chalk, four watch keys, nineteen matches, six pants' and four coat but tons, a recipe for making milk punch, a buckle, a blank lotttery Uelcrt, a small handful of cloves, part ot a roll of loz engers, three seat coupons to- a last winter's lecture, a poker chip and a chew of gua. that had slipped down luto the lining of thereat through a note In tbe pocket. It was the most start, ling disclosure the Rockland man had seeu since be bad read the cipher dis patches. "Great ceremonies are necessary," says the Railroad News, "tuget a train off In Germany. When all is ready a bell rings. Then another bell rlugs. Then tbe engine whistles, or rather toot-toot- tooU gently. Then Ihe con ductor tells the station-master that all Is ready. Then the stuliou master looks placidly atouud and tays ' So?" Then the conductor shouts ' Fertlg?" Intoro gallvely. Then the sUtlou-mseter re plies "Fettlg!" positively. Then the. couductor blows a horn ; tbe eogloa whistles; the bell rings; the other bell tings; the siatlon-iuaster says "So?" the passengers swear In rarlous tongues aud the tialn stalls, 'that Is, unless there Is a tx laUd fat man lu which, e-te thry dull all ow again," at
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers