Bin tnnmiig. Oi'O of this most audacious quacks thai Ureat Hrllain ever produced w;as John IlnrrUnn tVurtls. "aurlst." lie knew nluwst uUMilutvly nothing of tliu profession that ho u-lopleJ , put ho get .something of a icputatlon,nud wasflticu summoned to alttiiu oir Hubert reel, who was Buffering from temporary deafness, lie went provided with two watches, ono that licked very weakly uiul another that made as much uoiso ns a clock, Peel began to questlou Mm as to his mode of treatment, hut Uuitls, giving him s. dig with u syringe, told lilm that if he didn't hold Ills tongue somu injury would befall film. The ,ii.icl; at first applied J,ho weak-ticking watch to lr Roberta ear, and of course lie couldn't hear anything, but after working for some time ho used the other one, and Peel could hear perfectly welll It was a marvellous cure! A celebrated naval ollleer rehtot the following anecdote: On une of his .cruises the sajlors saw a count, and wero somewhat surpilsed and alarmed nt Its appearauce. 'i'ho hands met and appointed a committee to wait upon the .commander and ak his opinion of it. They approached him and said, "Wo want to ask your opinion, your honor." "Well my boys, what Is It about?" "Wo want to Inquire about that thing uptheie." "Now, before I answer you, let me kuow what you think of it?" "Well, your honor, wo have talked )t nil over, aud wo think it is a star sprung a-leuk. A. Justice of fhe pcaco living In an other county was recently called upon by a couple from Barton, Vt., who de shed to bo married; but, two weeks af ter pertormiiig the ceremony, he re membered that the marriage was illeg al, us being msdo put of the county where the couple belonged, so ho mar iled them again. Some time after he recollected that ho had not been quail lied for ollico in their county, and tak ing the oath ho agalu performed the ceremony. un nnlylng nt Calais, France, on her way to make the grand tour, au English lady was surprised aud some what Indignant at being termed, for the lirsi time iuher life, "a foreigner." "Vou mlsiake, uiadame," said sho to the libeller, with some plnue, "it Is you who are the foreigners. Woaro Eui: llsh." b "Tho steeple of St. Xaxier's Catho Jlcchurohin Ciuclnuattl wljt stand, when .complete, 320 feet from tho ground.and will cost 30,000." But it is not sta ted what it wll stand on, when so fa r Irom tho ground. Tho Argus says that tho first thought on n cold morning is "God Jielp tho poor." To Judgo from op pearances, the second thought is a de termination not to meddle with thu in tentiou of Providence. No man can read about all these burglaries wltluut a determination to have his wife sleep on tho front side of the bed. Josh Billlnge says that in tho beds of many hotels "yu sleep sum, but xolo over a good deal." If you want to know whether your grandmother was cross-eyed, or where your great undo stood In his aiitlmio. tic class, Just run for office, and you'll know It all. ' A city lawyer was making a high Mown speech tho oljicr day, telling about angel's loirs, weeping wil lows and tombstones, when his Hon or said; "Confine your remarks to thu dog fight." A down town man awoke Ills wife Iho other night, and, In a startled tone of voice, Informed her that bo had swajjowed a doso of strychnine. "Well you foo!,' said she, "llo still or It may cpmo up." dd l'arsou L. of Germantown.was n queer sort of a man. Ouo time.whcn his congregation had mostof thoiu.falrly disposed themselves, for their evening nap, ho startled them, as well ns their Ideas of propriety, by asking In his loudest tone, "What's the prico of but ter?.' At another time, some strangers coming to church wltl) him, tho con gregatlon paid more attention to them thantheydldtohlm. Losing all patience, ho slopped In his sermon and sa id; "Those folks in ray pow aro my cous ins from II., so you needn't ttaro nt them any more." Uev. Dr. Guthrio says, "If you want to keep a dead man put lilm iii whi-ky; if you want to kill a living man put the whisky Into lilm." Cincinnati claims to bavo Iho best Hotel cook In the world. Hp geu frog suppers out of mutton. up mump nceiuentailv sat nn n red hot coal, mid spoilt tho night followl ng irjmg 10 turn so ho could seo wound, Therowasnn old Niger, ond his his nauio was Uncle Ned and he died at fravannah tho other day, at tho ace 112. Thu deen linlli;i.. V. i.i? . of lug off '"was dua to (ho excessive uso tobncQO during tho entlro period his last century. tak of of 1 New nrk niiillnnf.i...n.n..ini that ho is like Enoch Arden 1m tees rglue best Paper. Try i(. POSTAGE FREE. nr!AUTtFBt.LV ILLUSTRATED. HwSPiPNTlFICAMKIllGANnoff In Un liUllDrar, e J. jrn the wlilcut ilriult'lun ofoy wkly nenfjjiiHjr ortbe klnj In tli world. A tie rtutiio i-oimencfii January 4, U83. Itm'iiiteijtftcintr.icv llm latest aimI mopt Inter etlog liilurmatlou ivrtaliiln, to tue li.diMtrnl. .Muclianlcal nil tcleiitlt.c I'luRrem ofthe Weill; llcKcrlplloim, wllh Jlrnutirul UiigrnilngK, of New IliTtiUtloMF, New luiliinelit8, New I'n re-nrn, n Hi Improved Indualile of all kind; U'lfiil Nolo", llel e, taggektluni mid Adilre, by t'rnetI'M W rllera.f.ir Wuikuej and KuijiIoj en, In all Ike larlou'nrts. The bCUCNTIIMC AMBIUCAN is the chenpestand best illustrated ivteMy paper published .Very number contuini from U)to is original en gravinps of new machinery and word inventions. ICNUU.lVl.NOs, illustrating Improve ments, Oiscoveties, and Important WorkStpertain tug to civil and Mechanical Engineering, Milling, Mining ond MitalUirgy; licmids of Vie latest pro geess in ttf applications of .steam, Attain Engineer ing, Jtaitutays, S'lip-JJaiUtwg, Navigation, Tele graphy, 7'degraph Engineering, Eiccti icily, Mtigne titin, Ligt and Heat. tiWK.Uttli.., JLcJianict, Engineers, Invcn' tort, tlannfd'tureis, C'temuts, leavers of txience. 7'cachers, Clergymen, Lawyers, and lXoplc of alt Pmfetsitms Wttl find the scientific AMEKlCix we fultothem, 11 tlvnddhave a place in every family. iMiorary, muay, ujioc, awl Ihunttng tfwm; in el) ery llewting tioonijOtllege, Avudemyt or School. .n vnr e niimurrt contain iwj pages ana ck. EgAL lllMlillil. Kvur.uiMiy. Thousands of rolbmrt. aieprettn;edtrinding and reference. Tlieprac ticat receipts are well tootth ten times the subscrip. tion iiricc. Terms. S3.1!0a vear bu mail, induiiinn pottage. Discniint to Clubs. Special circulars and SlKCtmcnsicntffft. May be had of all A'eas Deal ers. TPof-QTl-f cj " connexion wilk the Scux t auLrULiai une JutBICAN. Messrs. JIllsx d: Co. are iSolicitors of American and J-ureian Int ents, and have thelargeyf. establishment in the world. More Uianjlfty thousand applications have been made for patents Uirough their agency. Jitents are obtained on the best terms, Mulcts of JVeio inventions and sketches examined and advice free. A special niitice. is made in the s'cunTlric .ri mekica?i Of au invention ivientca through this Agency,wilh the name and residence of the patentee, Jvtents are often sold in tiart or whole, to nersons at. JucJied to the inivntion by such notice Sind fur juinji'uei, Livipugcs, containing taws anajuil ai. rectionsfor obtaining Patents. Aaaress jor the ivptr, or concerning JXtttnls, Ml.YtCV0.,2! Jirk How, sY. I. Jlranch Office, Cfll. and "ift &Tk., Washington, D. C zitoscripuons received at this ojjice. ILLIAM KEW1ERER, Corner of Bank & South 8ts Lehighton, Pa., Keeps a full line of Comprising Ladies' Dress Goods, Black aim vuiureu viiiiacas, uingnaius, Prints, ShlrtlngsSheetlngs, &a, of every grade and prlee. ClUPETb A 0LOTIIS, In great varle y. Teas, Coffeen, Sugars, Spices, Fruits, liams, falioulders, Sido-JIcat, &n. nought, Sold or Exchanged HARDWARE For Building and other purposes in gieai variety or tue nest quality. All QOoda wnrr.intpil ns rnnrMniilul and prices fully as low ns elsowhere. rti.nu u, ioo-y i gpEItFKCT TITS." Laury & Peters Have just received a very largo and elo- b" bimk. oi ran anu winter comprising plain and fancy Cloths, Casai meres and Vestlngs, for men's and boys wear, which they are prepared to maKo up in tlio mostfa'liloiiablo styles at reasonable prices aud on short notice. Ladies', Gent's and Children' Boots, Shoes, Gaiters and Rubbers, comprising a splendid stockof all kinds, manufactured especially for tho ttado of this locality. of tho latest and most fashionable (ake, "'; u" muu, ui iuw ngures. RTAgents for tho Acme Shlrtthn best fitting garment ever made. T.pav yfiur Measure for them. LAUISY & PKTERS, Merchant Tailors, P. 0. Building, Lehighton, Pa. "SOU Drugs, Medicines, Perfumery Spices, &c, call at Leutz's Drug "HOlt Chapped Hands, Face or Lips, t"- call at Leutz's Drug Storo. 'lAUSTIO Soda, Uct3 per pound at Lcntz's Drug Store. TC10U Toilet Extracts. Eseuces, Fan cy Soaps, onibs, Puffs ond Puff Uom call at Lcntz'a Drug rore. A kinds of Patent Medicines at -""Lentz's Drug Store. rjnOUACC'O and Cigars, a specialty I 1 vti inK'-mi (TJUOICK Liquors, for M.-UIcal pur- EVEUY AMATEUn nt INTER EVEttY AMATEUR PRINTER EVERY AMATEUR PRINTER EVERY AMATEUR TRINTER Should Havo insirucunns in ruining and the nns;ver lo queries which will remove dlfll cultlesluyour way toelllclency, appear in each number. EVERY FAMILY SHOULD T1KE EVERY FAMILY SHOULD TAKE EVERY FAMILY SHOULD TAKE EVERY FAMILY SHOULD TAKE Onr Own Fireside For Us ooI Stories, For its Fashion IMntcs, For lis .lElsct llaiiy, For Its llotischolil Xcws And for its Purchasing Department, Through which every deslrablo article in fiuw ion: h lurnislied at tho lowest rates without extra charge. Our Owil Fircsllll' is a Ilrniu .lonriml In Its fuui th year. 8 large pages tli liiusiraiions. l'rlce, $1.00 a year. Every subscriber makes selection of a valuablo premium from the many offer ed. SUBSCRIBE NOW -dt the Uegluning of If vou cnntint nITnril In cnlicnrllm nn orrangement will be made by which you can receive tho paper for one year WllllllUb nullify. Benu o cents for sample copy. CANVASSERS WANTED. A. Clmmiiion I'rlntliis: I'rcss A Champion Printing I'rcss A Champion Printing Press A Champion Printing Press Is Given Away Is Given Away Is (iveii Away Is Given Away For a club of 15 subscribers to Our Own Fireside. Eveiy Business Man and Boy should have one. Send 3c, stamp. Address, Our Own Fireside Publishing Co., 170 William St., N. Y. 2 and 12 Horso Power GET THE BEST & CHKAPEST. Address, M. L. GUMP & CO., 170 William St., N. Y. The Champion Job Press FOR -Printers, Business Men and Boys. Tho best press made. Also, JOB TYPE for AMATEURS- Send Cc. for Pamphlet. Address, M. L. GUMP & CO., 170 William St., N. Y. oct 81-m0 A Good. Livelihood Can ho nmiln liv sulllnir Tin P.rtni.i,. Steel Engravings, reproduced by the umieiiui u rapine rrocess irom mnious works nf nrr. 1(10 nor ni ... u.... 6ale. Send $3 for Folio, convenient to exuiuii irom, containing iu or our tluest Engravings, which is ail the capital and stock iu tiado necessary to commence busluess with. Address, THE GRAPHIC COMPANY. 41 Park Fla.ce, New Yoik. Reference, Editor of tliU Publication. Oct. 21-ni4 jgAiMUHl, GliAVKU, Opposlto tho Public Squaie, SOUTH ST., LEHIGHTON, PA., Manufacturer of Tin & Sheet Iron Ware And Dealer In all kinds of tST Roofing, Spouting and Jobbing promptly attended to. nov. 30 A New FIRE PROOF SAFE, with Combination Lock, at Halt Price. Imiulro of W. M. RAPSUER. Lehighton, Oct. 24, 1874. W. EACHES, Contractor & Builder, LKHiailTON, ru.N.VA. Plans ami SpccUlcntlons For al kinds of Buildings made at tho shortest notice. NO CHARGES Mado for Plans and Specifications when tho contract Is nwarded to tho under signed. A, V. EACHES, " Juno 14, 1873-yl STflAH EMUNEg AND OU CAST Save 20 Per Cent. By getting jour JOB PRINTING Dono at tho Office of tho Carbon Advocate, JN JIEINTZELM AN'S BUILDING Bet. the P. 0. and L. V. II. n. Depot, .chlrrhion, cjirhou Co., Pa Wo havo Just received a largo and cle- gant assortment of Iff S3 W IC'lPEJj Of tho latest styles ; together with a supetlor stock of CAP.DS, BILLHEADS, ENVELOPES, NOTE PAPER, And a variety of other PRINTING MATERIAL, A nd can now give our patrons first class work at pi ices ut least 20 Per Cent Lower Than any other Ofilce In this section. Give U a Trial, and bo Convinced. tS7Tlio patronage of the public Is respectfully solicited. TIIK CARBON ADVOCATE, A 24-column Local Paper, and the only newspaper Entirely Printed In the County, Is published every Saturday niornlu a. $1 a Year in Advance, Or $1.50 If not paid In advance. Thp Advocate, with Its largo and In creasing circulation, U ono of tho very Deit Mediums for Advertising In this Section. Rates furnished on pppllcatpn, n. V. MORTniMER, Lehighton, Carhop County, Pa. clNsiiort Alicatl I The undersigned would respectfully .in.-. iu uuiiui'i,tuiiirucur3 anu ino puu lie Iu general, that they have opened a In connection with their SAW WSJLBa Near tho L. , S. Denot. WEISSPORT. Pfinnn, and that they have now on hand nn Im mensu stock of Mioroughly Seasoned uuinuer, sucn as Rough Pine Boards, surfaced Tine iioards, Flooring, Hemlock and Pino, B Sidings, of all kinds, Shingles an Immense stock, Roofing and Ceiling Lath, Scantllnir. and. in fact. Lumber (if pvnrv ilnonrln. tlon at thi very lowest market prices. Wo aro also nronared to fumlOi rtniiii. ers and others with a verv(liuinrilr.in ni .Sand, sultablo for jlIUNonry noi n. a-iasticrniff, &c, ut Re markably Low Figures. Wo l.avo constantly on hand a largo lot of Wood sultablo for Firewood, which we will sell, In largo or small quantities, at Prices to suit your Pockets OCR Mono HOXHSr COUNT LOW' ItI0 ES. Weissport, aug 23-yl Carbon county, Pa. Beatty & Holts' celebrated Golden Tongue are acknowledged by Eminent Musicians and Distinguished Men of Honor as the Leading PARLOR ORGANS NOW IN USE I Wo Challenge any Maker to Equal THELI. No otlior Organ lias gained tho same popularity in tho Lehigh Valley Organs sold here years ago give universal sat isfaction all aro ready to add their names in proof of what wo say. Do not bo misledby deal ers, until you havo examined this valua blo instrument, with '74 improvements added to it. Prico List sent Freo to all. Gooil Agents Wanted. Address, KCATTXt' & PLOTTS, Washington, Warren County, oct 24-yl Now Jeroey. r U. ItlCHE'.KT, 3 " Opposlto L. & S. Depot, On the East Weissport Canal Bank, Respectfully Informs tho citizens of this vicinity that ho keeps constantly on hand, and Is selling at tho very lowest -uarKet rnces, the very best brands of ALSO, DEALEIl IN For Ifiilldlng and other purposes, which lie guarantees to bu Thoroughly Seasoned And to Sell at tho VERY LOWEST RATES. Conn win a Wholesale and Retail at thovery Low est Cash Prices. " lie lias also a number of very eligibly located In RICKERTSTOWN, Franklin Twp., which ho will sell on very Easy Terms, aug. 0, 73.yl J, KVU'lOKURT. iliuinlNtrntur'N Notice, Whereas liillpr nt mlml 111 j fiilliill upon tho estate of Joseph Montx, lato of Mahoning Township, Carbon Co., Pa., have been granted to iho subscri ber, all persons having claims against said estato will please present them.and those Indebted to tho said estate will make Immediate payment. WM II, MONTZ, Lehighton. Jan. 0, 1875 0 h Dr. J. Walker's California Vinegar Hitters .no a purely Vog otablo preparation, mado chiefly from tho nativo herbs found on tho lower ranges of tho Slorra Novnda mouh. tains of California, tho inodlclunl properties of which aro oxtractcd tliorol'ioin without tho uso of Alcohol. Tho question Is almost dally askod, " What is tho causo of tho unpar alleled BUCCCS3 Of VlXJMlAIt ItlT- a-uns f" Our answer is, that they romovo tho causo of disease, and tho patient recovers his health. Thor hn a medicino been compounded pes Fossiug tlio remarkable qualities of Vis eoar IIittebs ill lienllng tho sick of every diseato man U heir to. They ro a gontlo Piirgativo as well ns a Tonic, roliuving Congestion or Inllaimnation of tho Liver and Visceral Organs, iu Rillous Uisoasoi. Tlio properties of Dn. Walk- rtt's VtNi:n Alt lttrrBR.s aro Aperient, Dia phoretic, Carminative, Nutritious, Laxa tive, Diuretic, Sedative, Counter-irritant, Sudorific, Alterative, and Auti-Ililiom. Grateful Thousands proclaim Vinkgar Bitters tho most wondi-r. ful IuviRorant that over sustaiuod. tho sinking system. 0 JL'erson can tako thosn Hit ters according to directions, and re main long unwen, provided, tliolr bones aro not destroyed bv mineral poison or other means, and vital or gans wastcd'boyond repair. Jiillous. Kcmlttcnt. nnd In. torniittcnt Fevers, which aro so prevalent in tho valleys of our great rivers throughout tho United States, especially thoso of tho Mississippi, Ohio, Missouri, Illinois, Tennessoe, Cumberland. Arkansas. Red. Colo rado, Hrazos, Rio Grando, Poarl, Alabama, Mobilo, Savannah, Ro anoko, James, aud many others, witlt thoir vast tributaries, through out our entiro country during tha Summer and Autumn, and remarka bly so during seasons of unusual Vat nnd dryness, aro invariably ao- ' companied by extensive dorango mcnts of tho stomach and liver, nnd other abdominal viscera, iu their treatment, a purgativo, oxortlng'a powerful inthtenco upon thoso vari ous organs, is essentially necessary. Tlicro is no cathartic for tho purpose equal to Dn. J. Walker's Vinkgab Hitters, as thev will sncedilv remorn tho dark-colored viscid matter with which tho bowels aro loaded, at tho tamo tim'a stimulating tho secretions of tho liver, and generally restoring tho healthy func tions of tho digestive organs. ioriiiy tlio uouy nsamst dis ease by purifying all its fluids witU Yineoaii JJiTTiius. No cpidcinio can i...,., . .1 . Liuvu uuiu ui h Bysieiu 1.UU3 loro-armcu. Dysnensia or Indigestion, Dead. ache, Tain in tho Shoulders, Coughs, Tightness of tho Chest, Dizziness, Sour Eructations of tho Stomach, Bad Tonta iu tho Mouth, Bilious Attacks, Palpita tion of tlio Heart, Inflammation of tha Lungs, Pain in tho region of tho Kidneys, and a hundred other painful symptoms, aro tho offsprings of Dyspepsia. Ono bot tle will prove a better guarantee of ita merits than n lengthy advertisement. Scrofula, or King's Evil, White Swellings, Ulcers, Erysipelas, Stvo11c4 Neck, Goitre, Scrofulous lnfiummatioun, Indolent lullauiinations. Mercurial afloo tions, Old Sores, Eruptions of tbo Skin, Soro Eyes, etc. In these as in all other constitutional Diseases, Walkkr's Tin toAitlllTTEiishavo f hown their great eur atlvo powers in tho most obstinate and. intractable cases. For Ittllitiiinialory and Chronic Rheumatism, Gout, Bilious, Remit tent and Intermittent Fevers, DUeasos of tho Blood, Liver, Kidneys aud Bladder, theso Bitters havo no equal. Such DU cases aro caused by Vitiated Blood. Mechanical Diseases. Persons engaged in Paints and Minerals, such m Plumbers, Type-setters, Gold-beaters and Miners, as they advauco in life, are sub ject to paralysis of tlio Bowels. To gnard against this, tuko a doso of WAlKga'a fxr.oAit Bittlrs occasionally. Tor. Skill Diseases, Eruptions, Tetter, Salt-Rheum, Blotches, Spots, Pim ples, Pustules, Boils, Carbuncles, Ring worms, Scald-head, Soro Eyes, Eryslpt lai. Itch, Seurfr, Discoloration? of ths Skin, Humors and Diseases of tho Skin sf whatever namo or nature, nro literally dug up and carried out of tho system 111 a, short timo by tho uso of theso Bitters. 1'in, Tape, and other Worms, furkiug iu tho system of so many thou sands, aro cllcctually dostroyed and re moved. Xo system of medicine, no ver mifuges, no ni'.thelminitics will freo the, system irom worms liko theso Bitters. For remnlo Complaints, in young or old, married or single, at tho dawn of womanhood, ortho turn of life, theso Ton io Bitters display so decided au influence that improvement is pooh perceptible. Ch'iinso tho yiliatcd JBlood whenover you find its impuritios.burstiDg through tho skin in Pimples, Eruptions, or Sores; clcanso it when you find It oh "iructed and sluggish In the veius; cleau'so k it when it is foul; your feellngi will tell ' you when. Keep tho blood pure, and Uio health of tlio system will follow. 11. 11. .mi noNAi.o & co., prupgUU i. Oon, Agtt , Snn I'ranclico. Callfop. uto, ei cur. of Wunluniflon nnilCltnrlton StiX.Y. Nnlil Ijy nil llniii'(lU nitil Iloulcm, f OOK BKAUT1FUL LOOK -"ROSVI X Itottlo of DURLING'R ROSE GLYOEIHNE for Roughness of tho Skin, l happed Hands, Ac., only 15 cents n bottle, riiayj. mo uiu gronc okiou punner nnu o life-giving principle, a perfect Reno vator and Invigorator of tho system. Never beforo in tho hlstnrv of thn wnrM
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers