4 IIUMOKOUS. A great floor manager A broom. Dress paiadc A fashionable wed ding. The head of navigation A ship cap tain. Practical crcmatlonlsts: The Jfexlcan witch-burners. What can a man have. In his pocket when Its empty? A big hole. Cremation by sun process Is to bo tho name, for sunstiokc, this summer. No wonder IhntcgolMsflnri tho world bo ugly. They only see lliem-elvea In It. On week-days buy jour music by Iho sheet. On Sundays you can lavo it by the choir, Births are being announced as "Onr Young Folks for July," In tho Turuer 1'nlls, Muss, licpoiter. "Lilly Dale," of whom poets havo so charmingly mug, languishes In a Chicago housu of coriectlon. "We patronize tliosi)' who patronize us," Is tho motto over the ZlmisWIIe, 1ml., Times advertising columns. , Thco are the days when ono liears Iho pliancy phariuer philosophizing over his phosphates and phertlllzers. Dr. Francis snjs that an old maid never looks at a double bedstead with out sighing. An earning old gent. If a railroad train that Is run into by another is telescoped, a man who is run Into by n wild young ox must bo stero scoped. The proposition lo Introduce Indies ns railroad conductors is lion red upuii, in view cf tho fact that their trains aru always behind. A parson onco prefaced ids sermon with "My friends, let us say a few words beloro wo begin." This Is about equal to thu chap who took a short imp before hu went to sleep. A good little Hancor boy refu-rd to spell cider, because he had signed the pledge. That excuse haun't tho leipii. situ thickness, and thu boy was sent to his seat to learn his lesson. The lady who applied n day or two ago to a lloosick Fal.s drug Moie for bix cents' worth of thu "elory of iliyine" Was not a love-sick poetess. She had bem bent for chloride of lime. An old bachelor picking up a book, exclaimed, i pon seeing a wood cut re- piesentlng a man kneeling at the feet of a woman, "lhfoie I would kneel to a woman, 1 would encircle my necli with n lope and ttreeh It.", And then tinning to a join gwoninn, ho luiulieil; "Do jou think It would be the best thing 1 could do?" "It would undoubt edly be the best thing for thu woman," was the sarcastic reply. "How much heller It would have been to havo shaken bauds mid nllow It was all a mlstake,"sahl a Detroit Judge. "Thin thu lltn and tho lamb would havo lain down together, and whit,' robed peace would hae fanned you with her wings nnd cleaned you with her smiles of approbation. Hut no; you went to cl.iwiug and lilting and rolliiii: ii the mud, ami here you aio. Its live dollars apiece." This laconic but sensiblo German ought to bo sent out to lecture to thu peoplo ontempeinnce: "I shall tell you how it vas, 1 drank mine Inger; den I put mine hand on inlno hind, and dere vosli von pain. Den I put my hand in my' pocket, nnd deio vas nothing. So I jlne nilt do demperai.eo. Now dere Is no pain more in mine head, and do pain in initio body vas nil gone nvay, 1 put mine hand In mine pocket, and ileru vas twenty dollars. So I stay mid de ilem pe ranee." A New Hampshire fanner wanted a farm hand, nnd was applied to by an Irishman who winted to work. The fam.er objected to engaging Pat on lhn giound that two Irishmen previously In his employ had died on his hands. "Then you obect to hiring me for that do ye?" said l'at. "Kalth and I can brine ycu recommendations fioni many n place where I've worked that 1 never played such a incur In Sundny-scliool, tho other dav. when the basket washnnded around for a collection (or the heathen, tho teacher was somewhat surprised to find n bank note In It. Closer examination reveal ed tho fact that it was a counterfeit. Tho Inquiry among the boys brought to the trontono who acknowledged having liauilcd in the spurious scrip. "lml you know It wns counterfeit?" was the question. "Yes." ho said "but I il'dii'l think It made nny dltfeienee to the heathen, they could pass It off." About eleven o'clock ono night n policeman met n negro carrying a trunk along the street, nnd thlnklnc he had dlscoveted an Item, ho collared the ne. cro and told him to drop that trunk and explain. "I kin do It, sah," replied the stranger, as hu put thu trunk down. "De family what was boarding me has been axing for money, and ns doy was cwyno out to-night, I thought I'd cit Into some family whar dey respected de paulc." lie was allowed to go on Agrlciil'iirul Items. California pays $1,000,000 n year to facotlanu for wheat ungs. Farmlngton, Me., will put up GS0.C00 cans or sweet corn tins season. Osakaloosn, In., Is bullt,over twenty leet ueiow inu cellar bottoms. A California farmer has just complet cd n fence around his 15,000 aero larm. Jt isiri pauiuu yet. A plantation of OOOarrcs In Itandolph Co., Gn , with two good houses, sold hist week for ilOO. Potatoes In many sections nro quoted higher per bushel thau wheat, the first time 111 many years. Tho fnrmersof England number only 400,000, nnd of that number only 71,000 farm more thau 100 acres. Oregon lias n sutpliis of four million bushels of wheat Inst beiison, and Is bell ing It at ji per bushel, gold. From a strictly agricultural stand point tho grangers havodeclated against horseraclug at lairs in thu West. There aru 250.000 orange trees on thu St. John ltiver, in Florida, and the yield of each. Is worth $10 a year? TT K. IllC'HI'.ltT. 0 OtinoOtn T,. .fe R. Tlenot. On tho East Weissport Canal Bank. Repectfnlly Inform tho citizen of this vicinity that he keeps cun-tantly ou nnd, mid Is Felling at the very Ionet Market l'rlc-s, the very best brands of ALSO, DUAI.EH, IN "JLTUMlBlEm For building nnd other purposes, which hu guarantees tu be Thoroughly Seasoned And to Sell ot.the VEHY LOWEST HATES. Wholesale and Itctnll at the very Low est Ciish 1'ilces. Helms also a number of very eligibly located IBiaiMIna TLt In HICKEItTSTOWX, Franklin Twp., which he will sell ou very Easy Teiins. aug. 9, 'TD-yl J. K. ItlCKEltT. WILLIAmT KEMERErTi Corner of Bank & South Sts., Lehighton, Fa,, Keeps a full line of Comprising Ladles' Dress Goods, lllaek mid Colored jllparas, Uluglinms, Prints, Shirtings Slieetlngs, &c. of every glade and price. C-dUPETS Al . In grei CIL- OLOTIfS, vr 'ly. Teas, Coffees, Sugars, Spices, Fruits, Hams, Shoulders, Sldft-Mo.it, &n. nought, Sold or Exchanged HAR DW ARE For Iliilhllng and other purpose? In great vailety t,f the best quality. All coods warranted as represented and prices fully ns low ns elsewhere. .pill 0, I8i;j-yl Would respectful nnnouncu tort:; friends and viit-Na yu- the public In geneial, that he has open ed n tlrbt-class Livery & Sale Stable, and that he can furnish Horses, lluirglos and Carriages of the best description, for 1'lensuie, liusiness or Funeral pin poses, at very Ileasonablu Chaigi's, nod en short notice. HAULING done at blunt notice and on short notice. In connection hu will ubo continue Ids Carriage Manufactory where the peoplocan get their 6'nirhiges juggles. Wneoiis, etc., inaoe to older. or ItKPAIIlED on bliort notice und ut rensouablu prices. The undersigned respectfully an nounces that be has been attpo.nted Agent for the Universal Wringer AND Doty'sClothes Washer. These are undoubtully the best Wash ers and Wilngers In tho maiket, nod our Indies uiu invited to call at.d set them. L. P. Kleppinger, Cor. VL1NK and IKON Streets. Feb. 22, 1873. Leldghton, Pa. BUILDER & CONTRACTOR HANK fcTISEbT, I.KIIIUIIIO.V, I'A, Itespeetfully announces to the citizens of Lchlghtoii ami vicinity that ho is now pieparcd to contract lor tho erec tion of dwellings, churches, school houses, and other buildings. Also, that he keeps constantly on hand a lull ns- bortm nt of eveiy description of jLMEaiiibeiL' I consisting of (looting, siding, di.ors, bash, blinds, bhutteis, mi Idluus. Ac. which liu Is piepaied to furulbh at the very lowest maiket rutes. l'utrouago respectfully solicited. W. It. PEN Leldghton, May 17, 1373. ly gi.otu ai ri:i;i. Charles Trainer Hespectfully liifnrnis the people of Le hlghtuu that hu lias most Excellent Flour lor Mile ; Aln, good FEED of nil kinds, and STItAW In thu yfuudle. lie is also piepaied to do uny kind of Hauling and Plowing at short notice. LEUIGH (2d) STUEET, Leldghton, Pa. March 28-ly A New Idea! OTXXaS -SHUTTLE- Sewing lacline FOR 50 Dollars ! ! FARMERS, MERCHANTS, MECHANICS, AND EVERYBODY Buy the World-Renowned BEST IN THE WORLD! tS"Tlio Highest Frcinium was awarded to it at "VIE 1ST3ST.A-; Ohio State Tairj Northern Ohla Pair; Aincr. Institute, N. Y. Cincinnati reposition; Iudlannpoll3 Exposition ; St. Louis Fair J Louisiana Stato Talr; Hississiupl Stato Pair; f and Oeorjht Stato Pair; FOR BEING THE BEST SEWING fi&CHINES, anil (loin;; the largest and best rango of Avork. All other Machines I:i tho Market ivcro in direct COMPETITION ! ! VWFor Hemming, Fell ing, Stitching, Cording, Binding, Braiding, Embroidering, Quilt ing and Stitching fine or heavy goods it is unsurpassed. "Whoro wo havo no Agents wo will deliver a Machine for tho prico named above, at tho nearest Rail Road Station of Purchasers. Needles for ail Sewing Ma chines for Sale. Old Machines taken in Exchange. Send for Circulars, Price List, &c, and Copy of tho Wilson Reflector, ono of tho bsst Periodicals of tho day, devoted to Sowing Ma chines, Fashions, General News and Miscellany. Agents "Wanted ADD11E88, Wilson Sewing Machine Co. CLKYELA.NI), OHIO. guiicmiu: koii Tho Carliun .itlturalv, Tbe Clieiprit Taper la Ihoj I.clil ;U V)lcj Only Ono.HolIur'a Year. Y CD.C At Save 20 Fer 'Cent. By getting jour JOB PRINTING Done at the Olfice of tho strhoia Advocate, IX IIEIN'TZKLMAN'S BUlM)INO. Ilet. tlie I'. O. una L. It. It. It. Depot, J.elilgliton. CiirlK.il f I n We liiive Jmt recei' o.l n larpo nml ele gant an rtini'iit of MEW Of the Intei-t ft Ice; together with n supcilor stock of CARDS, BILLHEADS, ENVELOPES, NOTE PAPEli, Anil ft vailety of ntlier pniNTiwc ryi ATE RIAL, And can now give our patrons . firs,!' class uurl: nt nilccs lit Ivnst 20 Per Cent Lower Than any other Office In this section, Givo Vi a Trial, and be Convinced KTTlie iintronaKo of the imhllo U re.-iiccifully solicited. THU CAItllOX ADVOCITE, A 21-colun.u Local Taper, and the only new Jim pur ISiitlrelyVrlnlcil In the County, Is published every Saturday mornln ;a $1 a Year in Advance, Or $1.50 If not paid In advance. Tho Advocatk, with its large tii.it In creasing circulation, la ono or the very Dot Mediums for Advertising III this Section. Kates furnished on iipplicatlou. II. V. MORTIIIMER, Lehlghton, Carbon Coanty, Va, tiie 1 rem eiisisiirasi which can ho cured by a timely resort to this shuul- 1 Jt .. 1 proved by the hundreds 0f lesuinoiiiaia receivcti uy iiio proprietors. It is acknowl edged by many prominent 'physicians to be the most reliable preparation ever in troduced for tho relief and euro ol all Lung' complaints, and is oficrcd (o tho public, sanctioned by the experience ol over forty years. When resorted to in reason it sel dom fails to cfl'ect a speedy cure in (lie most severe cases of Coughs, Bronchitis, Croup, Whooping- Cough, Influenza, Asthma, Colds, Sore Throat, Pains or Sore ness in iho Chest and Side, Liver Complaint, Bleeding ut the Lungs, e'ec. Wistar's Balsam does not dry up a Cough, and leave the cause behind, as is the case with most "preparations, but it loosens and cleanses the lungs, and allays irritation, thus removiii'r the cause of the complaint. im:i:i'a::i:i jiv EETn 7, F0VLE ti SOUS, Boston, Kass., AikIpoI.I l,y DriiftilstsnnilDcalcrHircnt'ra!!;. dtrt KI2W A Illl fur an Iiicoralilc KVvijfiJ ,,t' 'irlll. 'Htr luilu tKIL,y" r,T ,1, (lrlull, UHll.', UlUl tl . It itli'l (.itjricl t your I'l.tlre h.H iru'l, M I tiii r ft ,l,im t,' (M rt-U i ln,m :il trill MM- IE, 1 fu'N .MIelbl,iriKrlrtlll to lltrlVI IOIIM. '111. 1.1 ' lit III IKx t't UIU" U. Mill loi Illl1ll,ll.ltul . I,prll t-.l, :i ,1 IIih InlluiifU hiiriifr i , ilifl. iIm v)" Hkl, ullll it tig it. tl,.. Ii. il't Its I ll'illlnil tM.il .i v I.,t it in.1 U .uii- ii, t II .v. tli tt ti ti t .i ur, imI l, m It'iiiil nil.,) i. Ii iblt. ivintiU. 11jtit-PinV MUt;11 hffll S.tld VI iHyat' ciN "" '-" "") VU 'rjkfiia. ,,. K1,,ke .r,ij t,. i tit r- lltft uiHit hit tit iiliit lu.iji illsvitH-; I u . utlili k ln liitn u vitiiiirti tij til i-tltiil. nr u' i ilnei u t. a itlit ttlgbritj, an 1U1DV' 'lluvai .itj Ltuii lUitur. if1-vCioV 'HK t'xcrnplntliig rain IS 8 SdI 1"hiiimI h. innif tho U.Mfin wu ltltf tttltuiiiK hum Hum mis, tl., (li.Trl p. tl -irni-inx it it 1mm Jnjmwh j; NIU in. 1 1 "i U tltttit ribfl. TliMii-iinitnitrcr. ni Ktmw tns i ltt-r i it cure. IliI,!. cutii nd ltunlm ItiMneil"- are iim ru'll i r jMijifh tuuip'tuml-, Mi tiv rt-l I lit It, Kixillillijf, hi tl ttlei'lUtl. Hli'l Juxll) iin-tli tin MUTt't. Ili.-ylnvf tj-riifii fii'iu mi up I n-ri-tt! pit) He. 1 t'tini n Ii-h1Iiik t-iui mviil; liiniilltti rt-li 1 1 iiiiiiiliifil liv lit appllcii li'iutiiiti it Mflilwty nmi i)iMort iafito ifU-rtil mruf Intliimd nnJ nltei.ttfd biniumc, (lit mreit instep, thu l.iijifat niidfett'it-Hl U'llf ilirt iiiuft txt.i'ii o riillnf-ldcKi'ii llifml-hi-r lifi-U ut ilia t'fji; u if'iuiiltttl In IttdcUM o( tbiUbMni i r lii-stid iVet. 1 hu Allkl.iti't I-r crdlun) com nml )ir-tull(i lUcir t llii.'tli'U U itlM(lutrh uu ciuifUit liy mi) thl ii(fur kuou, Ak tur Uri.v l.t'Uivdlrb, Tuku uu uiticr. II fi U Q 1 t' HHtUimlilsdlH think t it vh a mmJU l)tlJ tn t,lrft (iit rtatt,n fur ui'fvituvtitc wjfivtr iett trrj little ryinjutthy, 'Yf. itti4in u fi Jhiilirttn n"t urxtinmit Le much wre than Ifif. torture nnlturd 6 mill inn xoUnmr truuUlnl tvtth intrrtiut Uttilnvj, uuraul ami itamiff , (Hud Tviimi fr t'llfrrmr. Ut ijt't JU iitmtdici ate mfW, $afcaiifwre,' 8S Hfl UfalMfdutyrnnvthemarktt " Ktvrv out inn a tuihiu . jrom th'thrff vrur'H child (- tht prttiidtire vcrffintj tn a huttdird: ty,h, luivdtnme yomtfi tadie tvhudaily .rfw tmaejitt ifHt tt'i r'Hli tnimuru ;ru imunmi, tJ.I miii,lt. dr trd tin tfiuvi'tur wnn't and navtdan- Uiit, watt t tfl" hilrHnrtntrrt. ' uirriii"iwr to m ii (j nicl; (An r-V''i'"'i wirctittnt, thrk artisan am weUiUHie, ffullaurt and itationf, harea full tuvply tfrniti, Lunihht bad nmli.uud "thrrliii'trr ati'.niftfie ftt nil of which arr Uanithtil and cured by thr we qf HriyitU (trn d liunvm JCemediept AlUnatur ana fwanr. ,wt oy A. J. I)UULINOJ)rupcUt, LlilglltUII, 1'a, May 0 1874 ly. AS In order to close out present stock, tho uiidcr-lpit'tl ri'Sn etfully ntiiinniK'M to thu clllzf in ot Lrlilghton and vicini ty that ho lias Marked Down Prices of all kinds of Goods to nhout co-it, and uill Sell He has in stock a large assortment of livy (ioiiilN, Grucci'lfS. I'l DVisloim, iiieenvaro, itiu tltvarc, and a variety nf other articles too num. i-ioua to en iiiiii' rate. If you desire to sccuro Now Is jour Time A Small Sum nf Money will lluy u Large Quantity of (ioods I Store Opposite L. & S. Depot, BANK-street, Lehighton, Fenna. Z. II, LONG, Jgcnt. Tiloiuian AitNr.ii, Asslgneo. MurcU 25, 1871. Dr. J. Walton's California Vinegar IJillPiy nro a purely Vcs ctnblu preparation, inailo cliieify from tho natlvo licrlia fnuiiil on tho lower ranjjes of tho Sierra Xovmlu inoiin tains of California, tlio incdieinal iropertic3 of which nro extracted therefrom without tho uso of Alcohol. Tho qucstloli is almost dally asked, " What is tho causo of tlio unpar alleled success of Yixeoau IJir Tcnsf" Our answer is, that they romovo tho causo of disease, and the patient recovers hU health. They nro tho great blmij purillcr' and a life-giving principle,, a perfect lleno ratur aud luvfgnrator of ,th6 system. Kcvcr heforo In tho history of tho world has a inedichio heeu cnmpimnded Ps pcs.siug tho reniarhalilo qualities of "VIS eqak liUTKits in h'enlliig lh6 'sick of every disease hum is heir tot jThey aro a gcntlo l'nrgativo as well as a Tuuio, relieving Congestion or Iiillammation of tho Liver uud Visceral Organs, in Ullious IJisensos. Tlio properties of Dn. Walk er's V'l.vuiAii ItlTTUitsani Aperient. Dia phoretic, Cnnniiiatlvo, KlitritioUii, Laxa tive, Diuretic, Sedative, Counter. Irritant, Sudorific, AHitiMvp. aud Anti;llilinu. Grateful Thousands prpclatra VinkgAu Hitter tho most wonder ful Invioi-ant tliat ever sustained tho sinking system. No Person can tako, theso Bit ters according to dircctiotis'ahd ro niain long unwell, provided' their bones aro not destroyed by mineral poison or other means,; and vital,or gans wasted beyond repair. Bilious, lteinitteut, mid In termittent Fevers, which aro so prevalent In tho valleys of our great rivers throughout tho United States, especially thoso of tho Mississippi, Ohio, Missouri, Illinois, Tennessee, Cumberland, Arkansas, lied, Colo rado, Ilrazos, ltio Grande, Pearl, Alabama, Mobile, Savannah', Ito nnoko, James, and many: others, with their vast tributaries, through out' our entire country during .tho Summer and Autumn, and remarka bly So during 'seasons' of unltsuhl Vat nnd dryness, aro invariably ac companied by cxtcnslvo derango- 'incnta of tho stomach nnd lively mid inner atiiiominal viscera. - Jn tuoir treatment, n purgative, exerting, n powerful iniluenco upon' theso, Vari ous organs, is essentially necessary. There is no cathartic for tho purposo equal to Uu. J. Wai.kkk's ViSEqAK JIlTTKits, ns they will speedily rcmiivo the diu k-colorcd.viscid matter with which tho him-cts nro loaded, at' tho same tlino Elimulatiug tho secretions, of thu liver, and generally restoring tlio healthy func tions of thu digestive orgaiH. Fortify iho body against dfs Oiiso by purifying all its fluids with VlsnaAit Hitters. Kb cplilemio can take hold of a system thus lurc-arincd, Dyspepsia or Indigestion, Head ache, l'um in tho Shoulders. Coughs, Tightness of tho Chost, Dialnoss, Soar Lructalions of tlio Stomach, Had! Testa ill tho Umitli, llilious Attacks, l'alplta lion of tho Heart', Inflammation of tho Lung, l'aln in tho region of tlio Kidneys, aud a hundred other painful symptoms, aro tlio oUVpriiigsor Dytpcpsla. Ono hot tlo will prove a hotter guarantee" of'its merits thau n lengthy advertisement. Scrofula, or King'sEvil, JVVhito Swellings, Ulcers, Kryiiiolas, Swelled Keck, U nitre. Scrofulous Inflammations, Indolent Inflammation, Mercurial affec tions, Old Soros, Kruptious of tho Skin, Soro L"yes, etc. In these, ns in all other constitutional Diseases, Valuer's Ylit eoa a H itteks huvo shown their peat cur ative powers hi tho most obstinate and :iuractuolo cases. For Iiiilainhiatory and Chronic Ii!ieumntism,Gout, llilious, Kcmlt- tent nnd Intermittent Fevers, Diseases of tbo Hlood, Liver, Kidneys and Hladdcr, these Hitters havu no equal. Such Dis eases aro caused by Vitiated Hlood. Mechanical Diseases. Persons engaged in Paints nnd lllnerals, such as Plumbers, Typo-settors, Guld-beaters'and Miners, as. they ndvauoo In lifo. aro sub ject to paralysis of tho Uowels. To guard ngalunt this, tuko ft do-o of Walker' Vi'SKOAK HiTTEns occasionally. For SItiu Diseases, Eruptions, Tetter, Salt-Ulieuin,UloUhes,Spot8,Pim-plo.s, 1'ui.tnlos, Hniis, Carbuncfos, Riug worms, Scald-head, Soro Eyes, Erysipe las, Itch, Scurfs, Disoolurations' of tho Skin, Humors and Diseases of tho Skin of whatever naiuo or nature aro literally dug up and curried out of the system in a chin 1 1 j in u by tho use of theso Hitters. Tin, Tape, anil other Worms, urkiiig in tho system of so many thou sand aro effectually destroyed and re moved. Ko system of 'nicdlcino, no ver mifuges, no aiitbehniniUcs will free .the. svstem from worms like theso Hitters. For FeinuloCoinpliiIiits, in young or old, married or single, at tho dawn of womanhood, or tho turn uf life, these Ton ic Hitters display so decided an hllluouce that improvement is Boon percoptibla. Cleanse tho Vitiated, Blood whenever you find Its iinpuritlosln'rstiug through tho bkiu in Pimples, Eruptions, or Sorus; cleanse it when you find it ob. -Uucted aud cluggiah, in.thu veius; oleausa it when it is fgul; your feelings will tell you when. Keep the blood pure, and th health of tho svxtom will follow. 11. II., Arixi.wi.o A CO., DniRirlili & tten. ArU , San Francisco.; ColLfor. nil, tiT. ut WuMuKtua mil Ca l"J -V. -tlil liv nil i)iunult iitl ltUr.. Qll. ti. 11. HHUHU, riucTiriNO i'iivsiciak and sdrokov. Oinra. lUltl Slrerl, twit tloor Iiotii lb VotUMc. LthliUlou, l'o. O til co llour Prrjlll ueb thr rom 1U to 12 o'clock ; reuulnilercf day ito0Ml LtiUlshtor. pNorSJiTS-
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers