J.-- I .!!' I
JuepJbr
lilt
BY 0. B. GOODLANDER & CO.
PRINCIPLES, iot MEN.
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VOL. XXXI. WHOLE NO. W33.
CLEARFIELD, PA. WEDNESDAY, DEC. 4, I8G0.
NEW SERIES VOL. I. NO 21.
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O. B. G00DLAXDEB fr CO.
T. J. 'Cfl.toroil. WM. M. H CCLLOVGH.
MXUM.OUG1I A liltOTIIER,
Attorneys at Law.
OITieeon Market etroet, opposito Mossop't b'torn,
Clearfield, Pa. Will attend promptly to Collcc
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PW. II AYP, Justice of tie Peare, will attend
. rrcmily to cillcrtiors and ether matters
tt in bisehargo Address Kertey, Klk eo., Pa.
Oct. 3d IfcCU. ly.
PA KIEL COODLANDER,
Jl'tUCi: of tie peace
I.utLerrlurfr, Clfarf eld Co. IV...
will atUml I r cl t'y to all 1 iinei intrusted
to Lit me. Hurcb 2, 1SC.U. ly. i d.
KLL1S IRWIN ft SONS,
the mouth of Link Run. flvo tuilcs frem
A.T
V Clearfield, MERCHANTS, and ettonuve
Miuufacturers of Luuihr,
Jaly 2:), 1?52.
J. I). THOMPSON,
Tkl'irtrjmi(h. Wnntid. fiiitrrMeB. kc. Ae. . Ironed
Iv nn .li.irt notice, and the vcrv best stvle. at hit
jk r - ..." '
id itund in the Imrough ot Uurwensviile.
Dec. 2'J, lSili
fkR. M. UOODS, having changed his loca
X tiu from CurwensviHe t fjtoarlleld, ros
rt(.trnllv nfTurs his nrnfeflrionnl services to the
Mitucns nf tlio latter piaco ana vicinity.
I j ... . , , , .
i Residence on Second street, oppte II tet
J. Cr.nu, Efq. my! 1150.
J. G. IIARTSWICK, M. D.
Physicians and Surgeon,
ClearfUld Pa., May .10, 1S0O.
WALTER BARRETT,
ATT01;M:Y AT LAW, will attend prnmctly
tad faithfully lo nil legal bufinca eiitrutod to
Ii if erire, in the fcveml Courts of Clearfield and
aditi'min? eomitiea.
iitTici, the fine formorly occupied by G. R.
tarrel!.
Oct. 2!h. 1S50 ly.
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JOHN HUIDEKOPER.
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Attend promptly to nil Imsinpt-s entrusted to bis
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sortiuuDt of Saddles, llridlcs, Jlnniest and
-hipi, which ho will toll uu reasonable treuu.
April 4, l!00.
TjSTALCARD
t M SMITH offers his professional sorvices
. to the I. miles and t.eiHictncii oi i.ieur-
ioM and vicinity. All operations performed
"ith neatness anil despatch. lieing familiar
with all the Into improvments, he is prepared to
mnlte Artificial Teeth in the be-t manner.
"fG-t in Klinw's new row.
Srpt. ltth, 1SS8. lyJ
'is. It. l,AI!l'VKH. f. TBST
1 AKH1.11I.K TIMT. Atlorheyi at Law
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fttiuiis, Labd Agnnnie, A"., Ac, in Clearlluld,
nue and iiu ooulinot. Juiy on. j
j) OlitltT J. WALLACE, Attormet at Law,
IA CltjiirlluM, l'n., Oll'u'e to Shaw's Row, on
-site the Journal offire.
dee. I. 4058. tf.
MOORE t ETZWiLF.R,
YtriiuloHalo and Retail Merchants. Also
11 eiinn.ivii ilunlors in limber, tawed lumd
Pr and shingles. Also, dealers in flour an-
Irin, which will I told cheap for cash.
yet. 14, m.
ItENRY WHITEH KAD,
IfUSTICK of the peace
l Ronkton. Union to., will attend
tromptly to i
A v,r.
UX. elnthln
all bufinc.s entrusted to hit care.
Kept.. 12, mo. ly.
lare stock or Fur ne and Fummer
elntlilnt;of the latMt styles Tor tale low oy
CmwausviUe, Hay 18, 1800. E. A. 1RVJN.
gcltct J) at J r j.
DISSOLVE THE UNION.
Dissolre the Union I Who would part
The chain that binds us heart to heart f
Each link was foraaed by tainted tires,
Amid the Revolution's fires;
And eool'd oh, where so rich a flood?
In Warren's and in Sumpter't blood.
Difolve the Union! Re like t ranee,
When "Torror" renr'd her bloody Innce,
And man became destruction's child,
And woman in her passions wild,
Danced in the life-blood of her Queen,
lie lore the dreadful guilotiue.
Dissolve the Union ! Roll iway
The spangled flag of (jlory tday ;
Blot out the history of the brave,
And deseerate each Patriot's grave,
And then above the wreck of years,
Quail' an eternity of tears.
Dissolve tho I'n'on ! Can it be,
That they who speak tuoh wordt are free?
Great Uodl did any die to save
tuch soidid wretches from the grave
When breait to breast, and hand to band,
Our patriot futhert freed the land ?
Pis solve the Union ! Ho! Forbear!
The sword of Damocles is there ;
Cut but a hair, and earth shall kuotr
A darker, deadlier tale of woe
Than history's crimson tale hat told,
Since Nero's car in blood e'er rull'd.
Dissolve the Union ! Ppeak, ye hills,
Ye everlasting mountains cry ;
Shriek out, ye streams and mingling rills,
And ocean roar in agony
Dead beroet ! leap from tl lory's sod!
And shield the manor of jour blood !
Ittisctlhncous.
A DISCONSOLATE WIDOWER.
"Wlmtcnri I nay to comfort you, dear
Augustus ?" nnd Anabtd took her broth
tr s tmint -n lieis ana prfisea it wnrmlv.
'Ncithinj; my ifoiou sii-ter : such woe
as mine is too deep for nny plummet of
consolation to reich." And 1 denr Augus
tus" took out hi.i black-bordered hanker
chief, and applied it lo his eyes.
A tint 1 elnsped her hands deepidrmply,
and looked tearfully at him, tnurmering
ly sympathising "poor, dear Augustus,
how he. loved tier 1"
Augustus sighed deeply, and moaned
in a lov tone "We nreso Imppy togeth
er, my poor Ruchel," and again the black
bordered bankerchief went to his eyes.
'My afflicted brother," murmured An-abel,-
"how deep the waters you are cull
ed upon to go through,"
Augustus shuddered, as if he fan the
wild d'lshings of the waves, and said in a
plaintive voice "Dear Rachel, how ami
able she wat 1"
" Very, dear Augustus."
" How ccnsi.lera.te, how devoted to
ir.e 1"
"O, exceedingly."
"And how fine an appearance tho pre
sented 1" and he raised his eyes to the
portrait festooned with black crape, which
delicate attention he had himself paid it
that morning.
Anitbel, loo, raised her eyfs, but was si
lent as she gazed upon the pictured form
of the departed Rachel, so angular, so
dark, and so frowninc.
"1 don't think you ever did Rachel's
charms justice, Anabel. She was a love
ly woman
O, brother, I fully appreciated her, I .'
asstire you 1 did." I father-in-law that vulgar, fut old plebian, ichcl, perhaps, or to gaze more conve-
"And you do not do justice toniy depth Peter Smidt, Esq. And he's grown so pi-! niently at the girlish beauty of Miss Vil
of grief. Are you aware tlm'. I am a ' ous, too ; I know he will end it by btcom- j lors, as she tripped through tho church-UKiuiiK-r
forever ? Poor, dear, dear Ra- ! ine a minister: this terrible grief has vnrd into the fcidn door of tho church.
chel, I have lost all in losing thee !" And
again tho tearful eyes wero raised ti the
grim Rachel, who looked down with an
expression on her face which said "In -
deed 1''
There was a silencs ofsever.il moment,
during which he looked thoughtfully in'.o
the lire. At length he said
"lland me my desk beside you, Anabel;
it will boa relief to my frolings to write
an obituary."
"Don't think of it at present, dear Au
gusttta; your nerves are not strong enough
tor it now. Only think ot the trying
scenes through which you have just pass
ed." "Hand me my desk, will you? It is a
sacred duty I owe my dead."
While Augustus was engaged in this
touching work, Anabel was pondering on
the propriety of dispensing with the black
crape folds on her new silk dress; "so
that I may wear it in colors," was her in
ward ejaculation ; "for who knows Augus
may niarrv again before 1 have dono
mourning'for dear Rachel !" She check
ed the thought "How dreadful" Au
gusttis, the deeply sonowing, marry be
lore bIio had time to get out of black 1 It
was a satanio whisper surely, and grossly
unjust to the disconsolute widower. She
was rou.-ed from her sombre meditations
by the voice or Augustus!
"This is what I huve written, dear sis
ter, and if you can offer any suggestion!
of a tender nature, pray do so."
"Departed this gloomy vale of tears for
a blessfd home ofjoy, Kachel, the belor-
led and honored consort, or Augustus
i Chillis. LW and daughter and heiress of
. , .
Pwter .Smidt, i-sq. Beauutui anu accom-
plished, amiable and intellectual, devout,
and charitable, cenerous, devoted, char-
lniniz in everv respect, thus has flod to
angelio oourts, amid the joyful shouts of
the cherubio army, crying. "'"i
welcome 1 one who walked the
earth in
j seraph's guise.
i Here anabel gave a slight cough to coy
er something like a laugh, and Augustus
' paused a moment and asked plaintively,
I "Do you object to anything?" l
I "O r.o by' no means. It is so very touch-
ing, piay iirocecu. ....
into which her nu-
. . i n
........... iv;..n,i hava Wn nluneed by her
lamented aUenoe in realms of bliss 1
their loss has been the angels' gain.
her husband, so fondly attached to this
fair object what words can depict his
overwhelming grief grief that will prove
as lasting as it is deep ! Jiut here we drop
the curtain : too sacred this woe for the
the curtain j too sacred this woe for the
common eye Suffice it to say, he utters
the sentiment of the
lubmUsive Job
The Lord hath taken
away j blessed be
the name of the Lord.' "
How pious 1 how touching ! what path
os 1" and A nabel raised her eyes, spark
ling with ill-concealed mirth.
" on must admit Kacael was no oroi
nary woman, Anabcl."
"I never knew another like her," said
Anabel.
"She was too good for me," sighed Au
gust u
"O, my dear brother, why say so?" ejac
ulated Anabel.
"I can never cease to mourn, poor Ra
chel ; but I feel I must soon follow her.
I cannot live without her," moaned Au
gustus. "You must make an effort to do so,
Augustus you positively must. It is
your duty to live. You must rouseyour-
sell from this heartrending state. You
are not very old, only forty. Why, there
may yet bo a world of happiness in store
for you,"
"None, none." moaned Augustus, "my
heart is buried in my Rachel's grave."
"You must make an effort to get it
out from there, deer brother; indeed you
must."
"O no 1 Would I were there too 1"
"This is positively wicked; indeed it
is. You must not talk so; Rachel would
not approve of it."
"Ah, dear Rachel," moaned Augustus,
piteoufly.
"Como, now, take something to soothe
you, and then go to bed. Good night j
don't despair, you will be happy yet."
Augustus answered "Never, never," and
ho continued repeating, like Roe's dis
mal raven, "Never, nevermore !" until
the door closed upon Anabel, and he va.
left alone with hit) everlastit g grief, and
the dismally draped portrait of the loat
Rachel looking down grimly from the
wall.
On reaching her room, Anabel threw
herself into a chair, and laughed moro
heartily than was becoming, considering
that dear Ruchel had only beeu placed in
her grave that morning.
" I really do believe that, after all, An
fusttm will die of grief. You hava no
idea, Myra, how devotedly ho was attach
ed to dear Ruchel. "
" Indeed !" and Myra raised her proud,
calm eyes, and looked at her.
"Ho enjoyed such bliss with his poor
Rachel that his married life was a per.
pctual feast of 'neotarcd sweet."'
When did he make that discovery? "
" A fen- hours ago, dear sister, lie is
perfectly inconsolable. I assure vou. I
tried mv verv best at soothinc him. but it
is of no use. Ha will not be comforted.
but is hopelessly wretched. "
" Time is a powerful soother, '' respond-
e l Myra. " Leave tho work to him ; ho
will do it most ell'ectually, no doubt. As
the poet expressed it, 'Time, that aged
nur-e, rocked me to patience.' "
"O, never, nover. Why, mv dear sis-
ter, you don't know how dearly ho loved
her. He nver will pet over it, I issure
lyou ho will not. now we must have was a aunty nine spot, poor jtacnei s
wronged him in supposing lie married grave, and here Au'gustus paid a visit ev
Rschel for money 1 O no. it was cenu-i ery time he spied tho churchyard gates.
ine love that induced him to take tor his
; turned all his tho'ights heavecward. "
j "I am happy to hear it, " responded
, Myra quietly, " for they were very far
'from that direction berore. "
Weeki progressed, but Augustus re-
! mained shrouded in woe; not one ray of
' poacc had warmed up his deadened heart.
He would writo on notiiing but black-
; edged paper ; covered every article that
I had belonged to dear Rachel with black
crapo ; shut up her chamber, and every
time he passed the closed doorsiiudderud
as if he saw her paleghost talking about;
read her printed obituary ul night, belore
retiring, and paid his devotions to her
pictured form almost hourly. He kept
the last pocket handkerchief carefully
folded up in liuo paper among his shav
ing articles. His sisters began to think
that he would nvr get over it, and as lo
his marrying again never, never 1
' Don't even hint at Hich thing, An
abol," he said with horror, when alio
ventured to euggeit that, perhaps, one
day he might replace the lost Rachel.
" I meant years and years ott", dear Augus
tus, " she said, almost timidly. "Of
course, not Tor twenty years, or perhaps
fifteen. "
"Uushl ITushl I voneralo Rachol'a
memory too deeply. I loved her most
devotedly. Pray, never spsak in this
1 heartless strain again it is very repulnive
to mv feelings,
' 1 only meant l console you, Augus
tus." " You Uko a mosl remarkable way of
administering consolation, when you
know my sorrow is as deep as tho day
i when I buried liachol
. . - , , , .
- uut you must icei so loneiy, persis-
ted Anabel.
"Lonely? Have I not my sisters and
' Rachel's treasured memory ? No,
Ana-
bel, I can never marry again
All I ask
is a quiet
rest
beside Rachel's cofliced
form.
" How shocking. Don't, I pray, in
dulge in such gloomy thoughts. "
" You ask me to be gay, ' said the dis
consolate widower; "but you ask an im-
I possibility, something utterly impraclic.v
i ble, a Btato of feeling can never again
Ironch."
" Oh, no. Augustus not car that you
can
iisiver be ngin only a little lest
But'gioomy. Don't think about flying, and
Rut i the grave, and tombstones, and all that
ort ot thing. "
" When I die, " continued the bereft
one, " you will see that 1 am placed be--side
Rachel. On eur tomb you will have
engraved, 4 Thoy were lovely in their
lives and in their deaths they were not
divided.
" Yes, brother, " said Anabol, with a
little hysterical sob.
"You will have the last pocket-handkerchief
Ruchel used to place over my
face. "
".Yes, " replied Anabel.
"My will you will find in the tin ciue.
1 have left everything to Myra and your
self." " O, thank you, dear brother, How
considerate in you ! "
" My death will be your gain, Anabcl."
and the bereaved sighed submissively.
" My precious brother don't sucsjest
such a thing- Hut you know I have long
wivhed to go to iiurone. and your lament
ted death will give me an opportunity of J
uonig so.
"Go. go, enjoy what I leave you, Ana
bol. Tho day will come when like me,
you must lie down ia tho dust. I have
heaped up riches, "
" For me to enjoy ! How kind in you,
brother. Goodbye!" And Anabel ex
tended her hand.
" What do yo you mean ?" raid Augus
tus drawing back angrily.
" O, I crave your pardon ; I really for
got, I dreamed I had read your will, and
w tsjust leavi jg for Europe. "
" 1 may live many years yet, " said Au
gustus moodily.
"Certainly, only I thought you had re
solved to die. I began to fear yon con
templated suicide. "
" 1 am miserublo enough for anything.
! believe I will go tthe club. "
" Pray do ; no doubt it will help you to
forget Kachel. "
, " I do not wish to fcrget her; the heart
that has truly loved never forgets. "
"L, no, Augustus, not exactly forget
her ; only soften your giast griet that is
wearing an ay your very life. "
Augustus stood a moment and contem
plated the fair face of the deceased Ra
chel ; then as if ovorcome by the remem
brance of the past, he snatched up the
deeply-craped hat that ktood on the ta
hie and sended his way to tho club, too
much afflicted to slay quietly at home.
'The next moaning, at breakfast, he
looked up from his plate and said in a
dismal tone "Anabel, you will please
never allude to my murrying again. You
wounded my heart beyond expression last
night."
" O, dear brother, I am very sorry ; but
I have known of snveral gentlemen who,
when they were unfortunate enough to
lose their wife, lound another, and 1
thought "
"I lush! hush! not another word on
this sad subject."
Threj months passed slowly, but sadly.
Rachel was in her grave, and its long
shadow fell gloomily on Augustus' heart
and hearth. A weeping willow Had
been planted over the dreary mound, and
waved its long limbs solomly iu the breeze,
A few fragrant violets grew out of poor
Rachol's head that ip, the head of her
grave; and at her feet a while rose-bud
' tloruished in charming luxuriance. It
! Here he stood on fSundny to think of Ra-
This last idea was promulgated by those
proverbially spiteful creautures the old
maids of the church, who, having lost all
their youth, envy tho young, and who are
as crazy to get married at forty years as
they were at twenty, and who tear to
shreds tho characters of their more fortu
nate sisters, who win in tho world's lottery
that prize a husbuud. So said Augustus
v hen Annabel told him of sundry ro
marks thut had been niado concerning
him.
"'.tut it was not an old maid that slan.
dered vou, Agustus ; it was a married lady.
Mrs. Montjoy says sho has watched you
in church, and you look out of the win
dow with one tearlul eve on Kachel s
grave, while tho other is exploring tho
protty face of Miss villers. she even
sys sho saw you last Sunday gather a bo
quel from Rachel's gravo, and presented
it to Miss Villers as she was going into
churcu, who, placing it lo her Grecian
nose, thanked you with her sweetest
smile, little dreaming it 'smelt of mortal
ilv.' Poor dear Rachel, I don't know
how sho would relish furnishing boquels
for her rival. 1 don t say tins, Augustus,
Mrs. Montjoy said it. Don t frowa so an
(trily, of course I don't believe a word of
it. I know how devotedly attached you
were to dear Rachel, and how you plant
ed her grave, and even look the watoripg
pot in your hands and watered the plants
lo make them grow, and how you treasu
red up in tissuo paper the last handker
chief she used, and how you put her bon
net on a table, and had a little rriling
built around it to keep profane hands
away, and how touching!) you draped her
picture in crape! O, now, I know you
will never, never marry again."
Augustus was silent. Was it ominous ?
Four months and two weeks then a
tall tombstone reared its lofty head amid
ita sister tombs in the church-yard. It;
was a charming device a stono figure
bonding over a stone urn, which urn was
supposed to contain the ashoa of the de
parted Rachel.
"What ia this, my dear?" asked Mr
Montjoy, ai he stood before the gleaming
marble. "Is this figure tho bereaved hus
band?"
"O, no. my love, by no means," said
Mrs. Montjov; "are you not man enough
to know that this is the deoeased Rachel j
herself, weeping over her own atbes? It i
Is most touchingly appropriate; we wives
feel it to be so, I assure you ; for if ever
creatures had cause to weep for their own
deaths, we are the ones. iScarcely is tue
turf heaped above our cold clay when
the first mourner at our funeral utraigh-
way goes and forgets what manner of wo
men we were. Mary Blips very quietly in
to Jane's place, and Ruth sits as comfort
ably in the corner of the pew, as if six
mouths before Ann had not sat thero be
fore her."
"My dear, your remarks astonish me.
If you died, I auure you, most solemnly,
I would weep for you forever.
"Yes, so you would," s vid Mrs. Mont
joy, calmly ; "but how long, think you,
is a widower's forever? Only until he
gets another wife."
' O, .Sarah, how little fuith you have in
mans love."
"I have a crcat faith in it so long is it
lasts; but when a woman is underground
nor chances are small."
"My dear, 1 protest I would not marry
were I so unfortunate as to bury vou."
"No protestations, my love ; I do not
require them of yoQ. Do as you please
when I am gone ; I'll promise you not to
haunt your new wife, there couius Miss
Villers to see the tomb- Ho v do vou
like it my dear?"
"O it's a love," cried tho young lady,
enthusiastically. "I hope when I die mv
husband will treat me tojustsucha tomb-
stoma as this. '
"No doubt," responded Mrs. Montjoy,
"ho will treat you to this very one. Two
of you can easily get under it." The
young lady frowned and walked away.
hix months and two weeks, and Augus
tus find his sisters sat in solemn conclave.
The great grief was over, tho stormy bil
lows had subsided, the clouds hud passed
away, "lhe funeral meats were about
to furnish a wedding feast. Augustus
was going to be married. 'Married"
Anabol clasped.her hands in inarticulate
horror, while Myra looked calmly upon
the comforted widower.
"Did I say I would never marry again ?"
asked Augustus, angry at these mute dem
onstrations of bui prise.
"JJid you not say so, dear brother?
"rever, never ! You utterly
miscon -
ceived my me aning. 1 wish to compli
ment Rachel's memory, which I deeply
revere, and 1 cannot better do so than by
marrying again."
"Six months and two weeks!" mur
mured Anabel.
"Cun a man mourn forever?" askod Au
gustus, indignantly.
"Can a man mourn at all?" asked My
ra, speaking for the firB. time.
"O, my dear sister," sighed Anabul, as the
wedding cortege drove from tho church
door on the following Thursday, and the
face of Miss Villers peeped vut of the win
dow of the bridal coach, "it is the will in
the tin case that afflicts nn. Ho has made
another, and has cut us oil' without a shil
ling. Ho has gone oft', too, withoutgiving
mo new burial directions. Of cotiisehe
wishes to cover his faoo with dear Rachel's
handkercheif ; 1 shall send it after him."
''Certainly," responded Myra quietly ;
"he might like to sco it now."
Si.inEnr Teopi.e. Thore is a class of
peoplo who resomblo eels in their manner
of going through life. They are vour
smooth peoplo who blip through your
hand when you attempt to catch them,
and leave you wonduriijg how they could
have escaped. The lumd of morals, law
or right tails to holo". them, and yet '.hey
seem to recognise them all. A bargain
with such men always results in their
gain ; there ia somo loop left for them to
hang an advantage ujion ; something that
will redound to their particular glorifies
tion or profit. They are splendid mana
gers of benevolent institutions; occupy
high places in the moral world for such
are not thoso men who get caught; and
if they get caught, they manage to slip
through are groat mortgager's, lend mon
oy on tho right sort of security, and nev
er lose, and wh'uhevor way they fall they
light all right, ".'hey are politicians, and
always n anage to be on tho winning sido.
In life they are unexceptionable, with
characters excellent. Rut they are slip
pery nevertheless, and even while praising
them as men may, in their short sigh'.ed
ness, and they wriggle through to tho
end, the veil will bo lifted and the time
that tries all dojustico to them.
Ri r.u, Lite Cultivat'i a love for the
country; the serene joys which a rural
life can afford are for preferable to the
noisy, and ahu I too often vicious gralifi- !
cations which we seek amid tho whirl of I
a city lile. I he city as it were lies tho
soul's aflections to the earth tho woiks
and ways of the world in it too often hide
from our view tho fair faro of nature, and
lead us to forget tho glorious God who
mnde us. and to whom wa nre Indebted
for life (did heaith and all things. Vapid
empty and artificial, are the joys of a city
life when compared with the saere I do-.
lights which a rural residence can give O
a mind riehllv constituted. Solitary
! communion with Naturo is one of tho ho
liest delights which the world can bestow.
Jfcjylt is reported that a somcwht juv
enile dandy said to a fair partner at a ball
Miss, don't you think my muMarhn
are becoming ? " To which Miss replied:
" Well, sir ! they may be coming, but they
haven't yet arrived. "
JiayAn afllioted husband whs returning
from the funoral of his wile, when a
friend asked him how he felt. "Well,"
aaid he, pathetically, " I think I feel bet
ter for that little walk."
JkaTThe New
York correspondent or
iays that the author of
the Hostnn Pott says that the author
1 . . 1 1 . 1 : H f .' - . II.mI.I Ton I L Hi...
orrrcldenilVuchanau.
Steamboat Dia.'.oque. Iloosior, (step
ping up to a down Easter.) - Uow are v
stranger? Round to Noo 'Leans, 'snect;
Whatmoutbo your business? Want to
buy some corn or oats T
Yankee Tolerable, thank ye; now b
......Air, I . i '
jvnscn i imuuu iu du innce in particu
lar, in lor any Kind ot trade.
Hoosier What kind of trade hov yT
Yankee Wall, it's a patent right.
Hoosier Patent right for what ?
Yankee Patent right lor a Machine
for making all kinds of teed out of wood.
from ahellbark down to grass seed. Her
also a patent right for the mirage life-preserve-.
Hoosier Meerage what's that?
Yankee It's a Machine to be fixod on
tho front of a locomotive or steamboat.
with reflectors of great power, to show the
image ot anything ahead, no matter how
far it be off anything under a hundred
miles.
Hoosier Don't Bay ! And are yer tho
inventor ?
Yankee- -I be.
Hooker Your'ea hone. What moat
your name be?
Yankee Coffin.
Hoosier Ueerd tell of yer family. Yot
are a relation of the man that invented
wooilen hams and plaster paris shoo nails.
Had a brother once, hadn't you,
that got
accidentally choked with a rorro round
his neck.
Yankee Knew the man wasn't a bro
ther only a cousin to my wil'o'a sister's
brother's cousin. Rut what might your
name be.
Hoosier It might bo Smith, but ii
taint. Calculate it's Caster.
Yankee Knowed yer famil" well froti
yer great grandfather down. You air one
of two twins. One was a handsome, cute,
bright-eyed littlo chap, and the other a
tarnation ugly born fool ; and I heord tht
cu to chap died.
Here the dinner-bell rang.
Freezi.no to Death. To bo frozen to
death, many would consider a frightful
torture, from their own experience of the;
effect otaold. Rut here wo fall into thw
usual error of supposing the suffering will
I increase with the energy of the agent,
I which could only be the case if sensibil-
jity remained tho seme. Intense cold
brings on speedy sleep, which fascinat
the sensos. nnd lairly beguiles tuoii out of
their lives.
A most curious example of tho sodue-
live power of cold is found in the adven
tuies of the l.otanical party, who in
Cook's first voyage, weie caught in a
snow storm on Terra del Fuego. Dr.
Solander, by birth a Swede and well ac
quainted with the destructive deceits of a
rigorous elinn'o, admonished t lie com pas
ny, in defiance of lasstitude to keep mov
ing on. Whocvor, said he, sits down, will
sleep : and whoever bleeps will perish.
The Doctor spoke as a sage, but he foil as
a man. In spite of the remonstrance of
those whom he had instructed and alarm
ed, ho was the fii'bt one to lio down and
die. The satuo warning was repeated a
thousatul times in tlie retreat from Mos
cow. Aliscn, tho historian, to try tlie
experiment, sat down in his garden at
night when tho thermometer laid fuller
four degrees below zero ; and so quickly
did the drowsiness come stealing on, that
he wondered how a soul of Napoleon's
unhappy band, had been able to resist tht
treacherous influence, London (Quarter
ly. Haity Women. A happy woman! I
not sho the iparklo an J Ktiiuhiue of life?
A woman who is happy because
tho can't help it whoso smile even the
coldest sprinkle of misfortune cannot,
dampen. Men make a terrible mistako
when they marry for beauty, for talent,
or for style; tho swnotest wives ar
those who possess the magic secret of be
ing contented under any circumstances.
Rich or poor, high or low, it makes no
difference; the bright little fountain of
joy bubbles up juit as musically in their
hearts. Do they live in a log cuhin ? Tho
fire light that leaps up on its huniblt
hearth stones becomes brighter than the
gilded chundeliers in an Aladdin palace.
VVus ever the stream of liio so dark ami
unpropitious that the sunshine of a Imp
py fare fulling across its torpid tide, woubi
not awaken an answering gleam? Why.
these joyous tempered people don't know
half the good they do.
What I Would Da. If I possessed the
most valuable things in the world, and!
was about to will them away, the
following would bo my plan of distribu
tion :
I would give tho world truth and friend
ship, which nro very sear'fe.
I would give an additional portion of
truth to lawyers, tenders and merchants.
1 would give to the physicians skill andi
learning.
1 would give to the pi inters their pay.
To poss ping women, short tonguee.
To young women, good sense, largo
waists ami natural complexions.
t-'Xt'-The following beat ifu I stanza ia
copied from a young lady's album:
" Faro made, when I Rhold ure fiu;e,
& gaze in two lire azhur ize,
my lovo is warmed in 2 a blaze.
it t hauls within my bozum rue
2 big for my week tung to utter.
which leves my hart awl in a tlutter.
JaT"To toll your secrets, is generally
folly, but that folly is without guilt ; to
communicate those with which you are
entrusted is always treacheiy, and treach
ery for tho most part, combined with
fuily.
Jiig-" Henry, you ought to bo ashamed.
to throw away bread like that You rnsf
" t oine day ' UelL mothw.
would I hlan'i any Potter f annen or jm
( 1,1.5 .1 then, shoubf I est it Pp now J
i
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