w,,,,,i ,.. 4 4,„ cl TAB _. st i'T .' les ' .. 1 ( 1 s e l ‘)' ( .. 4, , ',.' . l'; ' ( . 4 ' ~..7 . 1 et e . ..) __. ~,,, 0 , s 4 1' " 4 ' C i:4., n) 1,1? f t 7 0 .t ~` c i 1 4 . -, C iot., 1(40 s. VV - k k-VSS t._.. 6 : ~.., .: 3 ,r N c., iicir cc:i , t. - 4 , . 4. ' , .. I i ' C 11 l , ~.W.. C. 4 7 4 c p CZ . 11 t e It's well to get to business at the start— ' 5 . , I I'll put the horse at once before the cart! I know that custom calls for scrape and bow, And lung palaver over THEN and NOW— A sigh and sniffle o'er the cast-otf year: A rag of mourning, a machine-pumped tear (Beloved patrons, betwixt you and I, ----v 6 2 6 4:.. ,:.9 - 1 This little water work is "all my eye"). -1 ' M?- , And then a twaddling void of sense or truth, As to the uow—give with a pleasant face; A look of kindness lends your gift a grace: It makes right glad the CARRIER'S heart, and adds A tenfold lustre to the shining "brads." —To bring this "begging letter" to an end, This valuable precept I append: . Like to good voting let your giving be; EARLY, OFTEN, AND GIVE FREQUENTLY! I Ca_ViS, .1 . 6" r ci e 642 '::"g - tt -Q ., - ----.---.----(?-'' I X : . (7 Z -A r- - V ,,—.- - r-------- ...._.c.:.:1*' ..1 ) 2 .c ? 2 45, ..,;-' ' \ •-,...',-. - i ,, --- , .. - i ..,\ ~.f2"-- ; ~ 41_ 0 t? .i, 41) ..fit' ' ‘IL , : L.-te ' 6 > . 41t4 ke is; .. ,,X • THE CO 01: ',ITN INI : NEW YEAR, 1859. A. Poet! POET!! is the boy insane? IVhat crotchet now is working in his brain? WE keep a Poet! His infernal sire— Who rakes awl coals the r, ubtcrrane,tn lire, Old 'rookie bight—is coiner of this lie; Old Nick has closed young Nicholas, his eye! We DuN'T maintain a Puct fur the Syr! Our stall is strung—all_good and able men. We've first and foremost, Scissous, P.AbTE, and PEN; (We name them in their proper order;) then, Our correspondents,—Philadelphia P., "SUllse/t/BER." "CONSTANT llo.tncic," X.Y." Z.— And next our Artist; next, that A. 1. card, Our special Jc;. , TicE; last, our own "Illoccii.Ann;" But nut a lthymester.—Nu, sir; nary Bard! What is your will? 0, imp of Satan, speak! Whitt is the meaning of this crazy freak?— You want 3 hundred lines or so, you say, To greet your friends withal on New Year Day! Ila! Yuur patrons! New Year Pay! Address! A hundred lines! That's curious! New, bless My eyes! You want a hundred lines! Nut less? It can't be done! It can't be dune young meld— Just say a dozen—and—rtaltays—we—can— Won't answer, ell! A hundred—maybe wore! Diable.fils, an Diable! The dour!&V. Stop, stop, young man! Don't leave us in a pet; The lines may possibly be furnished yet.— Bring out yon lung mysterious old ease, That in the Sanctum fills a corner phtee. Curtained with cobwebs—there: remove the dust!— Wheels within wheels: dark, tarnished. dim with rust; That box contains a cheap Promethean fire— That old case serves the Sur us Ilarp and Lyre! There your AutmEss now snugly lies perdu: Take hold, Diabolus, and "rush her through!" —A little oil, first, on this creaking joint! With feather-tip this stiff-backed spring anoint! Take off your jacket! Give it all your mind! Nuw!—a crank motion—Gms. SATILINAS, GRIND! Clank—whiz—gerr— clank—("Mure oil! More Grease!") A 11.11Tr—zrrr—("Will it never cease?") NEW kE.ta—buzz—fuzz—(•'There it goes again!") Kind friends!--huta—hum4"bug. It's all in vain!") I greet my patrons! (••Ifuzza! She's off!") To one and all my beaver I duff! I ask your ears for my humble rhyme; (Ground, as you see, without tune or time;) Or, to save those useful members auricular, I'll take a quarter—l'm nut particular! TO THE PATRONS OF MMMF THE cAlk'/4!ii, IVIBIA SPY, 4-1 Anent the prospects of the NEW YEArt. youth: Predicting confidently fortune, fame, A happy future, an undying name! I'll skip fur once this beating round the bush, And plunge in inctlia 4 res; without a blush. I want your "rooks," "herds," "spoil," "tin," "pewter," "dimes," Quarters! Halves!! Dollars!!! in exchange for rhymes There now, that's candid! Du I give offence? I don't approach you, Sir, on false pretense, To button-hole you—pour into your ear A touching story of the poor old year, Coilined, and carried olf by (Lager) Bier— Then—with the "briny" stealing down your nose, Your handkerchief upraised for one of those Grateful, sonorous, grief-assuaging blows— Dry up your sympathy and tears forever, By sneaking foot-pad cry—" Stand and deliver!" do not seek to "snake" my little bill, Or with sweet phrases sager-coat my Fill; But honestly eschew the dodger's art— Believing thus to choose the better part— To my good friends and patrons simply say, ...Diana forget" the C.iatunt Bar to-day! My object's open then, and self avowed; I seek to pick no pocket in the crowd!— "The of ject's bad," you say!—lt might be worse! Be sure, I have designs upon your purse— say. do not button up your pocket yet, And set your lip:, and go off in a pet! To servo the SrP has been my weekly task Through the past year, and now I only ask Of you, my patron, such reward or fee As I deserve—'twill all be gold to me. Come! smooth your faee and let you down a wrinkle! There, that is better!—There again—a twinkle!— The mouth expands!—now just do what you orter! Sold! Suld!! Sold!!! Sold again, and got the quarter!!!! That you n•LL.L. give is fitir!y settled. Now Let us discuss the now Moen, and the now! First, the amuund--4 ask not what you CAN But what you WILL to give. Be every wan His own assessor; and whate'er the sum, To my insatiate pocket it shall come Welcome as shad in Spring to our cuisine; Welcome as drift-wood to the Algerine; Welcome as "borrowed" chickens to the "fill"; Welcome as "toll" and water to the mill; Welcome as fee to Doctor, or to Lawyer; Welcome as Lager to Vol Spiegelmoyer; Welcome "epis" to the thirsty sucker; Welcome as bit and sup to Daniel Tucker; Welcome as fuel to the poor this Winter; Welcome as BACK: S ÜBSCRIPTION TO TILE PRINTER! 1 BiU=lMia
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers