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VOLUMB XXVI, NUMBER Sir.l
MIMED BURY SITURDLY NORDEN.
Office ia Nara:ern Central Railroad Cont
pony's Building, north-west corner Front and
Terms of Subscription.
One Copy per annum, if paid in.adranee, SI rd)
" if not paid within threat
/months from commencement of the year, 200
"t 1 Coats a Copp.
No anhaeriplinn received for a lean time than *ix
dnontlini and noriper will be di.eontinuetl until all
arrearagei are paid, nUiCdl) at the option of the pub•
may be remitted by mail at the publish
Rates of Advertising.
equare [5 linen] one week,
three week., _
earls ralwrquent Insertion, 10
1 " [l2:lnes] one week, 50
three week., 1 00
each eula.equent inpertion, 20
Ln rge r advertisements au proportion.
A liberal discount will he anode to - qoarterly, hall%
yearly . or yearly advertisers, who are strictly confined
-to their business.
11. M. NORTH,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
CoMecum's, Lroraptly made, iu Lancaster and York
TIISTICE OF TER PEACE. Office in the Odd
to Fellows' flail, Seeoud street, Columbia, Pa.
Columbia, ALgael2s, 1852.
J. C. RISLEIE s M. D.,
OFFICE in Walnut, third door above Com
meree street. residence, HiseA's Hotel, Front at.
J. E. ELACHENBERG.
A TTORNEY AT LAW, Columbia, Penn's,
Omni in Locust s; reel, four doors above Front.
rutiumbia, May 15, 18515.
TM D. Xs AXIXIMIL, X. D.
OPEICE, in lierria lintel, three doors above
Front street, on Within". Residence, Iteres
Columbin, December 19, 11356-amo
Dr. VMS. DZ. LOAG, Dentist.
nt , FICE and residence in Locust inset!.
next tattle Franklin. ilou.e.Coiumbia.4„. -----
Pa. i/ipril 14,1855-Iy] "••••••
DAVIES E. BRUNER, J. 'P.,
ATTORNEY AT LAW AND CtONVEYAiNrER.
It otters hio services to the citizen. of Columbia.
and assures them that be will atieml with promptitude
to all bueineea eittrueted to his cure. Othee—Locum
street, between second and The rd. ItePidence—timath
side Second m met, 2110 door below Union.
trolumhin January 13- 13334 y -
Corner Front 4- Locust sta., Columbia, Pa.
Pictures taken for 25 cents
And upwards, and satisfactibta guaranteed.
ir r No Picture need be ialten from the Gallery
ontenn it is susb as in rentty desired.
Coltimbin. rtisorsh 31. W. 53.
United States Life laserlace Anna-
ity and Trust Company.
OFFICE, S. B. Corner Third and Chestnut Sh.,
Conigninr. ItniWing. Chun.. perpetual. Capi
tal. aacenaitiell vishie of Premiums and .A.lfetP, Jaw
Company strum, chiefly from tle iliaimetiveund tamp le
plan of operation, continuing Stability with Set:wily.
Verpetuity and Availability. Annual Dividend-. cou•
vertible in mo•li. or appropriated to the payinent of
reeminin..—Vreiniiiiii pa) moats quarterly. &e•
The utider , igned In,' been appniiiied agent for the
above COIIO,IIIY. in dn.. place, mid ie repared to
familial polities at ike altar te-t 1101100.
.1 MeNIA I lON,
Columbia News Depot.
Dolumbin. Jane 23. 1555.
Brick of all Kinds.
MF. 111111,61p4, Diountvillr, Lantmlitr
(41t111%, 111:1141:.11 . 111re. sod has 4.01 . 1..8,01115 for
ask, PAVING AND !WILDI !DOCK. of best
m s tily
which lie will deliver i,Coluntbia, at the
owest owes. Orders solicited.
April 7. I=SS•ly
THE undersigned are prepared to manufae
tore nod cumin), conotry merchant+. with BAR
IRON. or every idic. nod of the hers qualify.
Orders for any PiZe draired, fillet. promptly.
SMITH ItICIIARDS &
Shaving and Hair-Dressing Saloon.
THE undersigned invites attention to Ids So
lo„„, No .l Arend.,won. xt., opposite theWu...h•
iagtoa Hotel, where all person. , eau receive IX CLCAN
AND teuv SIIAVF, 'lll4li:we their hate cut stud dreosed
in the nost fashionable land exquisite rammer.—
There is something soothing its a good shave: if any
ace disposed to doubt ,t. let them try me , and I will
fully demourtrute the fuet W .
Columbia . hitt Telt 27.1532-t(
IRE IWILSON gills this branch of busi
lieAß particular 11.11e111l011. As he executei all
work in 11111. Ime Itim+eif, it will he warranted equal
to any in the country, and at as low rules.
Thankful for the pat mange with which Ile has al
ready been favored. he respectfully ' , alien' , 11 Con
tinuance of the same. 411RAIll tt'lLsoN,
One door above Jonas Rumple's Hardware Store.
Columbia. Feb. 24. 1
CONSTANTLY on hand, an assortment of Cc
d.r.w.r,, to winch the attention of hoe...keep
ers to invited. HENRY PFAIILX.R.
ATE:fIY Miley of Slate., Venalla, Pen.. Ink.
./ of the very beet brand," ready at a moea
tice, at Melia Ilf
Or'.7. MS. Columbia Book and New. Venn-
FRENCH NERINOES, &C. I havejost opened
a large assortment of Ladies' Dress (lessils. toil
stating in part of Freneh Alernines, nil oliscles; French
Cashmeres, all shades; Figured ne4 plain De Imities;
Farainettns, all colors' Chintzes. C , .llCoC..6hogiannl . .
&C. Also a fine W.Pnrlntritt of Stick Velvets and
Flannels. Call and see our assortment, as )ou may
rely On getting good nod cheap good,
pllll.ll. F. FRY,
Opposite the !lank.
Ort & 18.53
VIATINELS AND BLANKETS.—We are now
J.: opening cur Fall stock of Flannels, consomme
of kleorlet. White, Yellow. (trees. Blue, Twilled
Flannels. Also all colors or plain flannels at a great
reduction from lost year's prices. Blankets all prices.
and very . cheap. 1.1111.111 . F. Fin%
Oct. 6. Opposite the Bank._
- PARR Ir. THOMPSON'S jut!) , celebrated Corn•
timercial aml oaber Gold rena—the Item in the
market—just received. P. SHREINER.
MIRY should (layperson do without a Clock,
when they can be had for 81.50 and npw•ardt.
Aril 9-" , • I PSS
SAPONEFIER, or Concentrated Lye, for ma
king Soup. I lb. is sufficient for one barrel of
Soft Soap, or 11%.f0r 9 lbs. Hard Soap. Full direc
tions will be given at the Counter for making *MI,
Hard and Fancy Soaps. For sale by
Colombia. March .11. 15455.
TWIGS, Medicines and Perfumery, by whole
sale and retail. I have just received from the
Cities of Philadelphia nod Baltimore. a larre stock
additional an my former mock. with a general variety
of caber goods kept in Drug Stores, which am deter
mined to dispose of at the most reasonable price..
• Female desiring to purchase will do well by call
ing on the subscriber R.
Front street, Columbia Pa.
Columbia. Starch 21,18. U.
Cherry Pectoral -- aid - Gat - idle
Pills.-We harem Jost received a fresh suPPlp.
direct from the matiofecturer. Call at the Family
Sledicine Store. and procure the genuine article.
Columbia, October O. IBM
110 t ELIA, Prayer and Hymn Books, of all
denantinatiouv, beautiful and varied. Jowl re
ceived and far fair as ltleMA HON'S.
December W. MS.
Natmes.—The great depot d English
skoblots and folly h. fully unfolded In a work of
Odejenoot Rol Cor Bale clmp, at
October s7,IP3S. IIeNIAROMS.
Thou lovely and Mon happy child,
Ah, how I envy Mee
I should be glad to change our state,
If such a change might be.
And yet it is a lingering joy
To watch a thing so fair,
To think that in oar weary life
Such pleasant moments arc.
A little monarch thou art there,
And of a fairy realm,
'Without a foe to overthrow,
A care to overwhelm.
Thy world is in thy own glad will,
And in each fresh delight,
And in thy unused heart, which males
Its own, its golden light.
With no misgiving in thy past,
Thy future with no fear;
The present circles thee around,
An angel's atmosphere.
How little la the happiness
That will content a child;
A favorite dog, a sunny fruit,
A blossom growing wild.
A word will fill the little heart
With pleasure and with pride;
It is a harsh, a cruel thing,
That such can he denied,
And yet how many weary• hours
Those joyous creatures know;
How much of sorrow and restraint
They to their elders owe!
How much they suffer from our Faults
Ilow merit from our mistakes!
How often too mistaken 'eat
An infant's misery• makes!
We overrule, and overtzach
We curb and we confine;
And put the heart to school too soon,
To learn our narrow line.
No; only taught by lore to love,
Seems childhood's natural task;
Affection, gentleness, mul hope,
Area its brief years ask.
Enjoy thy happiness, sweet child,
With careless heart and eye;
Enjoy those few bright hours which uow,
E'en now, are hurrying by.
And let the gazer on thy face
Grow glad with watching thee,
And better, kinder,—such, at least,
Its influence on me.
ROMANCE AND REALITY.
The old saying that truth is sometimes
stranger than fiction, will be verified by
the circumstances which we are about tore
narrative may be relied up on as strict y
true. We arc only responsible for the dress
in which they are presented. The names
are of course fictitious.
In one of the largest commercial cities of
the United States lived, mien - years since, a
man of immense wealth, accumulated by his
own industryand enterprise. A foreigner by
birth, he had few relatives living in this coun
try, and those few he held in little esteem.
At his death he left all his possessions to
the corporate authorities of the city in which
he had resided, to be employed for purposes
of general benevolence and public utility.
A portion of his large fortune consisted in
valuable coal lands near the flourishing in
land town of T—. Some years after
his decease, his nephew, a native of the
same land in which he was horn, came to
the United States, and, contesting his will,
laid claim to his whole lauded estate. After
a suit in court, although the will was sus
tained, yet it was discovered, that, through
some legal technicality, these coal lands
were not included in it, and were therefore
adjudged to this nephew, as heir at law.—
This gentleman, whom we shall call Mr.
Costello,n - ishing to superintend his property
for himself, with his family took up his
residence in the principal hotel of T—.
his family consisted of a daughter, about
eighteen years of age, and a son, about twen
ty-one. The son was 4t wild, high-spirited
young man, with the fiery blood of the clime
front whence he came; the daughter, a beau
tiful, accomplished and lovely girl, not with
out a dash of that same independent, un
daunted spirit, inherited from her ancestors.
Boarding at the same hotel was a sur
veyor and engineer, by the name of Alfred
Thompson, who although young, had al
ready attained considerable eminence in his
profession, and derived an excellent income
frtim its practice. Ile was frank and noble
in his disposition, gentlemanly in his bear
ing, and universally esteemed for his many
estimable qualities. Having been in the
habit of attending divine service in the
Methodist Church of that place, he had be
co.ne intimately acquainted with the Rev.
Mr. Carroll, then stationed there. The lat
ter used frequently in their friendly inter
course together, jocularly to say to him,
"Alfred you ought to make haste and give
me the pleasure of marrying you, before my
time here expires"—referring to the fact
that by their peculiar economy, Methodist
Ministers are not allowed to remain longer
than two years at a time in the same station
—to which ho would as jocosely reply, "Most
certainly you shall have that pleasure, if I
can find any body to have me during that
time." Yet Mr. Carroll never suspected he
would be called on so soon to do it.
Mr. Thompson and Miss Ida Costello were
mutually attracted towards each other, from
the first hour of their acquaintance, and
their intimacy soon ripened into mutual and
ardent affection. Yet, knowing the quick,
imperious temper of her father, and certain
that he would not approve of her choice,
with the tact almost intuitive to woman, she
so managed that be never had the least sus
picion of what was transpiring,
Ono morning in the spring of IBS—, Mr.
Thompson called upon the Rev. Mr. Carroll
and said to him—
"You hILT¢ , often Said You must marry me
befOre you removed, and now I shall give
you the opportunity. want you to be in
the church this afternoon, at 3 o'clock pre
cisely, when I shall bo there to have the
At first the minister thought ho was in
sport, but ho assured him that he was as
much in earnest as he ever was in his life.
He then 'consented to be there, and had so
much confidence in the young man that he
took no Witnesses with him, nor even inquired
to whom ho intended to be married. At the
appointed time, Mr. Thompson appeared be
fore the chancel, with a young lady whom
he introduced as Miss Ida Costello, and the.
ceremony was duly performed by which
they were made man and wife. pa parting
at the church door, Ida went back to the ho
tel and Alfred to his office.
By some means, during the fifterntOti;the
rumor became very prevalent in the town
that Alfred Thompson and Ida Costello were
married, and the numerous boarders' were
astonished to see her take her seat at the
supper table, by her mother's side. During
the evening, the supposed marriage was the
exciting theme, and the proprietor of the
was persuaded that he ought to tell Mr.
Costello of the rumor in circulation. Ile ac
cordingly did so, and Mr. Costello received
the intelligence with a violent burst of rage.
Affixing epithets which we do not care to
repeat, he exclaimed, "Its a lic—a—lie 1"
and towering with rage, he went to tellit to
his wife. She declared she believed it to be
all false. Not pacified, however, he horst
into Ida's room, who had retired to rest,
awoke her from a sound sleep, and almost
screamed in her ears—
"Ida, they say you are married to that in
fernal Thompson. Tell me this moment
whether it is so; for if it is, I'll kill you ?"
"II father—ll married ?" replied the girl,
in apparent astonishment, "who could -say
such a thing about me ? No, indeed, lam
far from being married I can assure you."
"I knew it was a lie," said the father,
mach relieved, and returned to his own
Next day, however, the. rumor gained
ground,and he heard it from various quarters.
Greatly excited; he met Thompson in the
street that afternoon, and imperiously re
quired of him to deny that he and Ida wore
For the Columbia Spy
"I shall do no such thing," said Thomp
son; "for we are." '
"That does not alter the fiict. Good af
ternoon, sir,"and so saying, Thompson coolly
After this had occurred, Ida wrote on a
slip of paper, "I have flenied, it, you must
do the same," and as she passed Alfred's
room, which was on the same range of apart
ments as her own, slipped it under his door.
The warning came too late. He had ac
knowledged it. The next morning, Mr. Cos
tello hearing that Mr. Carroll had united .
them, waited on him, and said--
"Did you marry Mr. Thompson last Mon
"To a lady who gave her same as Ida
"It's a lie! it's a lie!" he exclaimed. "that
is my daughter, and ehe declares she is not
married. What was the appearance of the
woman to whom you married him ?"
The minister then gave a description of
"It's a lie!" again exclaimed Costello,
."Thompson has married some one who looks
like my daughter and palmed her off on you
as Ida," and the interview terminated.
A few hours afterward, Costello called
again on Mr. Carroll, with his daughter, and
asked him if that were time lady he married to
Mr. Thompson. The reply was, "Yes sir."
"Me! sir, me!" cried the daughter, "Oh !
sir, you aro mistaken, it was not mel"
"Well, I confess I did wrong, in having
no witnesses present, but I had such confi
dence in Mr. Thcmpson that I did not think it
was necessary, so I cannot prove it; butl am
certain I married you last Monday."
The girl, however, reiterated her denial
in the most positive terms. Sho accompanied
her father home and he appeared to he satis
fied. The next day Ida assumed the air of
injured innocence, and said to her mother—
"l see you and father suspect me, and I
don't like it, lock me in my room, and have
my meals sent me. lam not afraid to stay
"No, my daughter," replied her mother,
"you must live down these vile reports, and
go to your meals as usual."
I'Very well," the daughter said, "just as
you think best."
As she passed by Thompson's room on
returning to her own apartment, she slipped
another paper under his door, on which she
had written, "Be ready at 6 o'clock. It is
our only chance."
When the hour for tea arrived, she took
her usual place at the table, from which it
was afterwards noticed Thompson was ab
sent. There was a door opening from the
dining room into the kitchen, immediately
before which was a large screen. While
her father was carving at the head of the
table, Ida cried out—
"Oh, mother, there goes Jinnie Harlan—
may I go and speak to her for a minute?"
"Certainly, my child," said the mother,
"Certainly, my daughter, go and speak to
Miss Harts, by all means," said the father.
Ida aza and left the table. Some ten
minutes elapsed and no notice was taken of
her absence. Suddenly her mother cried
ont—"Where's Tda ?"
""NO ENTERTAINMENT IS SO CHEAP AS :READLNG, NOR ANY PLEASURE SO LASTING:"
COLUMBIA., - PENNSYLVANIA, SAVIRDAY MORNING, JANUARY 19, 1856.
The father, itewing down his knife,
For a few momabts all was confusion. As
soon` as the con any . became composed
1 enough to makirintional inquiries, it was
ascertained ...hat It had passed behind the
screen, out of thetdoor into the kitchen,
thence she had gokb to the side portico of
the hotel, and do4t an unfrequented street,
to a corner, whorls ;carriage was standing
hitched to twg hors known to be tholleet
est in all that EfCC*ll of country, the lines in
the, hands - of; l 4lf4d Thompson; that some
one.sny.nowriAalarge bundle in, then
Miss,Costellowft4t nded in, Mr. Thompson
I mounted,thihst*ld the horses went off at
the top• of their siiild. _
I Costello stormed raged. Carlos, his
I son, went on like ifrikadman, and threatened
Ito shoot-the villo*e instant he laid hands 1
on him. Bit it %. all in vain. Pursuit
I was entirely uses as 'as no horses could be
I found near so swi as those driven by the
I Meanwhile .the 4
leelings of Mr. Carroll
were very unconArtable. Not only had
he exposed him" le the heavy legal pen
'salty; of marrying:. minor without the con
sent of her pare' but he felt that he had,
though undesigni,,,through his misplaced
confidence, as it. fun appeared to him, in
Thompson, boon 4tiiincons of inflicting groat
would it ci
were TOVIA ,
you may Li
a supper al
and then toi
heard of tl
dirk and pi
ful oaths, In
and the pa
where he c
"You must first prove," she responded,
"that I am your child."
"Not my child!" he exclaimed, livid with
rage, "do you mean to say you are not my
"I am not your child! and you know it,"
sho replied; "I ant your nciee, put under
your care by my father when dying, and
ever since we have been in this country you
have compelled me to pass for your child."
Fur a few moments ho was speechless, for
he knew that she had spoken the truth, but
recovering himself, he replied—
" Well, you confess I am your guardian,
why then did you marry without my con
"Because you were determined that I
should marry your son, and I was deter
mined I never would, fur I could not bear
"Why should I want you to marry my
"Because you have a hundred thousand
dollars of mine in your hands, and ynu were
determined to keep it in your family, but I
was deternined you never should."
"But why did you deny that you were
"Breaux° you said you would kill me if I
was, and I knew enough of you to believe
you would keep your word."
The rest is soon told. The hundred thou
sand dollars vrerehanded over to Mr. Thomp
son, to avoid a suit and public exposure; and
he and his lady are now living, very happily
together in the same town of T-.
GIVE WAY A LITTLE
In the crusi'ded streets of a great city,
where multitudes are passing in opposite di
rections, while some are passing obliquely,
and others at right angles, it is necessary
for every one to give way a little to those he
meets; by which means they will have a free
passage. Were the whole multitude to pass
directly onward, without any one's yielding
as inch of ground to any body else, all would
be obstructed more or less, and confusion
must ensue. Or, if a churlish individual
should take it into his head to march forsrarp
in a straight line, and, in no case, make way
for man, woman, or child, nor even for a
procession, he would be sure to jostle
against some one or other, at almost every
step, and would receive an insult, and per
haps hard blows for his obstinacy and im
And very much eo is it in our journey
through life, and with respect to our general
intercourse with mankind. In the march of
life, no one's path is so clear as not in some
degree to cross another's; and if each is de
termined, with unyielding sturdiness, to keep
his own line, it is impossible but he must
give and receive many a rude shock. In so-
ciety, in neighborhoods, and even among
r elbee friends, there will - spring np rivalries,
and be sometimes a close lino of opinion,
and if all were mutually obstinate, there
would be no bounds or end to contention.—
Whereas, by the exercise of mutual condo
cension, social harmony is preserved, and
the pleasure of society enjoyed.
Courtesy of manners is, the congruous dra
pery of a benevolent mind, and is both seem
ly and pleasing at all times, and in every
relation of life. Nor does it need any labo
rious study to attain it. A groat part of the
c-,senee of courtesy, or genuine politeness,
is expressed in these three words, "Never
THE ELAN WITH WHITE HAIR.
On the excursion train from . Utica to
Boonville, at the opening of the Utica and
Black River Railroad, our attention was ar
rested by £he singular appearance of an ap
parently middle aged man, whose hair and
whiskers were perfectly white. We learned
upon inquiry that he was a native of Oneida
county, but was now a resident of California,
where he has resided for sel - Tr.l years, en
gaged principally in mining. The cause of
his white hair he explained as follows:—lte
was engaged in mining, and had several
mon at work in a mine which extended some
ways under ground. One day he went to
carry the dinner to his men, and when he
had been there but a few minntes, they
hoard the unmistakable sounds of the caving
in of the sides of the mouth of the shaft.
!I' on the
Four men started at once, hoping to -escape,
but wore met by the falling earth and
crushed to death. Ito woe enclosed iu a
space of about 6 by 12 feet, while three men
below hint were cut off from any communi
cation with hint, and he supposed they were
crushed to death. He had a light and plenty
of water and provisions, but his chances of
ever seeing daylight wore not very flattering
as ho was some 60 or 75 feet under the sur
face of the earth; and he was-not certain
that the disaster would be discovered in time
to make any attempt to relieve him; and if
such attempt should be made, the prospect
was that it would prove ineffectual.
Fortunately, the disaster was early dis
covered, and a large force was sat to work,
and after =remitted. exertions for three days
and nights, be was discolored in an ex
hausted condition. The three men below
hint were also found alive. When taken out,
his friends declared thatfor a day or taro he
was partially insane. Ilis hair'hyl also be
come nearly white during his : confinarnent.
His "feelings', dFrittg rhos .tl4;qe, days, ; be
not be Im=ined,' b:u_t.that - bis
every act was brouglit vividly to mind. In
fizet those three days appeared a life-time to
him. Ile said that the sight of one of those
shafts always caused a shudder to pass over
him.— Widertown Journal.
a as 10.
No one can cross its frontier without be
ing struck with the contrast it presents to
the other Italian States. While they arc
decaying like a corpse, it is flourishing like
the chesnut tree of its own mountains. The
very faces of the people may tell you that
the country is free and prosperous. Its citi
zens walk about with the cheerful, active
air or men who have something to do and to
enjoy, and not with the listless, desponding,
heart-sick look, which marks the inhabi
tants of the other states of Italy. Here, too,
you miss that universal beggary and vaga
bondism that disfigure and pollute all the
other countries of the Peninsula. What
rich loam the plowman turns up! What
magnificent vines shade his plains ! Pub
lic works aro in progress, railways have
been formed, and new houses are building.
Not fewer than a hundred houses were
built in Turin last year, which is more, I
verily believe, than in all the other Italian
towns out of Piedmont taken together.—
Miles Pilgrimage fromthe Alps to the Tiber.
IMPORTANT DISCOVERY AT BAISYLON.-.A.
London paper says, that Col. Raw Nilson
has just discovered among the ruins of an
cient Babylon an extensive library, not in
deed printed on paper; but impressed on
baked bricks, containing many and voltimi
nous treatises on astronomy, mathematics,
ethnology, and several other most important
branches of knowledge. These treatises
contain facts and arguments which in his
opinion, will have no small operation on the
study of the sciences to which they relate,
and will throw great light upon biblical his
tory and criticism and the history of our
J. W. M
Ittgt-Dr. Abernethy, the celebrated 'phy
sician, W 11.51 never more displeased than by
having a patient detail a long account' of
troubles. A. woman, knowing Abernethy's
love of the laconic, having burnt her hand,
called at his office, and showing him her
'A poultice,' quietly answered the doctor
The next day she returned and said:
`Continue the poultice.'
In a week she made her lait:igdl, and her
speech was lengthened to three herds.
'Nothing,' said theoncQ pleased physician,
Von are the most sensible woman I ever
It.-Some acute Philosopher;rays: "Pover
ty is a disease which can onlPbe cured by in
dustry and frugality." This is a mistake.
A poultice made of goldAtist, spread upon a
bank bill, will do the busyness effectually.
Bosesncit--"Thiltree is known by its
froitie." An excelition to this is the dog
wood which is kz by its bark.
. ~ ,
$1,50 PER YEAR 3N ADVANO*O2,O9O
A TOUGH 'WITIMSS.
Prosecuting .Atiorney.—"Mr Parks, state,
if you please, whether you have ever-known
the defendant to follow. any profession."
"He's been a professor over since I have
"Professor of what."
"You don't unders.taud me, Mr. Parks.—
What does he do?"
"Generally what he pleases."
"Toll the jury, Mr. Parks, what the defend
"Gentlemen of the jury-, the defendant fol
lows the crowd when they go in to drink."
"Mr. Parks, this kind of prevarication will
not do' hare. Now state how the defendant
"I saw him last night support himself
against a lamp-post."
"May it ploase your honor, this witness
has shown a disposition to frifle with the
Judge.—"Mr:Carks, stato, if youktuneany
thing about it, what tho defendant's oceupa
"Oocupatien, Aid yon say."
Counsel.—" Yes what is his occupation,"
"If I ain't mistaken, ho occupies u garret
somewhere in town."
"That's all, Mr. Parke."
aosa-Exomirted.—"Mr. Parks, I under
stood you to say that the defendant is a pro
fessor of religion. Does•his practice corres
pond with his profession?"
"I never heard of any correspondence or
letters passing between them."
"You said something about his propensity
for drinking. Does be drink hard?"
"Xo; I think he driuksas easy as anynian
I ever saw."
"Ono more question, Mr. Parks. You
have known the defendant a lees time; what
aro his habits—loose or otherwise?"
"The ono he's got on now, I think, is rather
tight under the arms, and too shortcwaisted
for the fashion."
"You can Wee your coat, Mr. Parka."
A fellow, in' deseribinitha, eatablee of ai
tavern at which '3:input up; giVestkinfollaw- I
ing upon a plate of-ham: "Itesxynitliite_ . of ,
ham; whichl most sincerely recommend to
the next Texas volunteers' for - shoo:heoli.
Being very fond off taWf - weatorlarma!to ,
h. WeN i . F -nyr:ir - sten.eaelie if the indwelling
obstinacyof.thhe animal had returned to pro
tect its mortal remains,"
Ile should have served it ns Jab= did
Uncle Nehemiah's • thatikqgiring goose—
drilled a hole in the article wit:i the aid of a
steam engine, filled it with gunpowder, and
touched it off.
A GREAT COUNTRY
An innocent and pure ruinded.Tenathan,
in a warm argument with a John Bull, on
our national institutions, was endeavoring
to floor his antagonist, who bad sneeringly
remarked that "fortunately the Americans
couldn't• go any further westward than the
Pacific shore." Yankee searched his preg
nant brain for an instant, and triumphantly
replied—" Why, good gracious, they're al
ready levelling the Rocky Mountains, and
carting tbg dirt out west. I had a letter
last week, from my cousin, who iv living
two hundred miles west of the Pacific shore
—on made land.
,pea -A. Dublin paper contains the follow
Yesterday-, Mr. Scent', returning to town,
fell down and broke his neck, but fortunately
received no damage.
The schooner Polly was lost yesterday,
with all on board. The Captain swam on
shore, so did the chambermaid, she was in.
mired for £lOOO and Waal with iron.
The following appear among the adver
Lost—a valuable new silk umbrella be
longing to a gentleman with a curiously
John 11 is hereby notified that unless
ho returns the articles he stole from my
house his name will be made publie w asj
know it was him that committed the theft.
ON TEM OUTSID 4 I.—A man with an enor
motudflarge sucker, called on a dentist to
have a tooth drawn. After the dentist had
prepared his instrument and was about to
commence operations, the man hegau to
strain and stretch his mouth till it got to a
frightful width. "Say, sir," said the den
tist, "don't trouble yourself to stretch your
mouth any wider, I intend to stand oa the
outside of it to draw your tooth."
A SLIGITT MISUNDERSTANDING.—A pious
minister, after lecturing a Sunday school
class in a most edifying manner, proposed to
close the exercises by singing "Jordan,"
meaning the hymn, "Oa Jordan's stormy
banks I stand." The worthy man was hor
rified by hearing the whole school immedi
ately strike up, "Jordan am a hard road to
travel x I beliere. 6 '.
AW-Mr. Jayeocks changed his boarding
place the other day, besause his landlord
would persist in carrying sausages home in
his hat. Mr. Doyle left because Mrs. Slo
cum objected to his driving nails in the bu
reau to hang his hat on.
arx-The individual who tried to clear his
conscience with an egg is now endeavoring to
raise his spirits with - yeast. If he fails in
this, it id his deliberate intention to blot
out his brains with a bellows, -and sink
calmly into the arms eta young lady. '
, , „
D raw war t I , * oreary4npondl, !tad:
Ye onward wavelle* *ulnae:auk Iwinzio,
Te, [rival wbuhc peat the'blibt*leld!
Ye wig) irreleft in iml!taßeltifilteinw ' •
Though o'er. - iToripirito bask the oknotOloOdswoP4 ,
Sacred ore sortie" Nazi Waal "Isalpu WOW',
The bright and aOrkatqlottotimiglotT4.
And angels wcardwid wtbz Ihep hpan I the at
That Ito who cocaralik weia okrr#l
nriqwasnot whin' Flo key
In dark Gethecraturo;that wept."
fttmsils (dela% ttn*to°43*** o o o l; 4l4l 4 Pegsksfi,
The. Saviour sl.itrsitPiallotaigh bosona nohod
A tide of Vinpaii i j is for thoseaet ,
Ando:MA& Ail;MiruearldwiiirgitsVd;'-' , :j
And bending o'er die , eeimb whrfxs Laws" slept,
in titian of-sPirit,,USsIPSY",
Lo! Jesus' power Oa 5t,0*,0 1 0,k0,100. 1 .0,*0. 1 4
And wiped the roar faSia~:ol o ?o, l 4„.,_ ,
Look np, ye mourners, heat
"Ife that believes oases shall ieS*ll
Though faith end love *tral,ir.
hope brighter grew ea,caiih,,,Viag,
Leap yew:. has came
indeed as if tune and. ::".,n;; ;
great guy between tho.-P,M#7,
pit, As I was sittlngi#Aly
the twilight, I seemed ,t4-bott.
and of a bridge, It had' bay
aver, but many who siiu4
fallen amidst its broken
ed piers. —4 " •
Four years age,-just So
the sleigh-bells, just so deepiy
covered the grain and tender
roost each biting, stinging
jusb such pure and gloOnun.w)
the trees upon the -bilk: nio
and higher:with theizietilleis
a vast army with epeare,,
eternal city. 'Zust-so, at the fa
alopt the Susquehanna, ota . ant,
river of death. On this aide.-11
the activity, the btiatia.a .
river; how still it is!
at eve the sun ainks--14o"
the 4:4 .14V.
die die di
last -and ' '
But not nit alike, in the pro
and the past. This your tho
many a mouldering heap, whor
ago the grass grew - smoothly al
Beside many a hearth when dui
draww•n oloso at eventide, ono and
missed from their accustomed
pestilence that walketh in dart
breathed its hot sirocco breath ova
borough, while fast behind.
Death gathered in the sheaves of
timely harvest. ' • •
There is one family known of
by many loved, under -whose hos]
so great a change has come that
ly look and wonder at the nsysti
big% of Providence.
*wall ulence only, us thtlr Lencliction,
God's :mgrres come—
When is the ahrolouv of a great otThet t
The roul sits dumb."
When the last leap year dal
was music and mirth in that
The youngest member—one of nt
ling9—who had left the impress
and buoyant hpirit on her whit(
and laughing eyes, and even **MI
waves of her auburn hair, was
young bride, rejoicing in the
around her, to whom hor very
melody where'er she trod;?
year was passing to etenth
the light of that househe'
mother, yet in the pr .
Destroyer came :ht
ed calmly itolds touch, am
hetut foetid rest. TIM lima
how lorehe this mighty st
"" "It Will not be long," ho
now nothing to:do but to wai
long did he wait, tho' dreary
It was,to the very day, just t
the time'When the flower i;
entwindd among his heart r
away, that death bore to
summons; the longings. of
they have mot to tart 'no ram
Who that knew Robert B.
to respect or love him his
tlemanly manner was not''
outward polish, but flowed
generous heart. Those wi
sorrow or necessity, found
friend. The erring he wet
by words of gentleness
the paths of rectitude. Eris
closed on the stranger or
and welcome were the z,
beard; and the poor and
turned away. Bat now
husband and wife and
side they sleep their In
sleep. "Lovely and
their lives and in deati
4 .l3titen be the turf
Frieuls of my oat
None knew voa but
Nuec name Yea but
COLVMBIA, Jan. 9th,
naked a colportoor of
no time to read: toy