American Volunteer. rOB&HE» EVERY THURSDAY MORNTNO t'BRATTON <Sc 1C b.tv -Vl',l I' V OFFICE-SOUTH 91ARKET SQUARE. ■'iiiifc— Two Dollars por year If paid strictly ( n ndVancß j Two Dollars and Fifty Cents if paid wlthln ihrco months j after which Three Dollars wtii 68 charged. These terms will bo rigidly, ad _ heretltp In every Instance. No subscription dis. csntllined until all arrearages are paid, nnlcss at thr.oiitlon of the Editor. |jl|:proteggionai darog. STATES CbAIM ••• rrlg;'cj:.; AND ■ ■ li icA L ESI AT'E AGENCY. K . B. BUTLEIt,- f.. VV^ViV-.' fc ATTOUNEY AT LAW, ‘ Carlisle.■Cumberland county, Pfcnfnt. . Applications by mall, will receive rmmodlalo “pSpUcSar attention given to the selling or rent- Ineorßcal Estate, In town or country. In all let ters crf'Jnqulry, please enclose postage stamp. Julrlli 1870—IX -. 7^*I iTtORNBX-AT-LAW, < CARLISLE. PA. • i&Cid i6e on.. South Hanover Street, opposite Bentz’s'dry goods store. Deo. 1.1865. & PARKER, r ATTOaXFA'S AT LAW. « l ODh»:aal\(ato Straiit,. In Marion, Hull. Oar lisle/PiV,'/■*!■ Dec. 2 JBOS • Q.' E O. 8. EM I P A.T-L- W, •? billow with S. Hopbtirn, .1 r. But Main Street, V.- ''.CARLISLE,' PA. Feb.2,7i— ly ’ XXT KENNEDY, Attorney at Law VV . Carlisle, Ponna. Olllce same ns that oi lhe**Amerleati volunteer.” Bee. 1.-JB7O. '■ ■ DB* GEORGE 8. BEARIGHT, Den- From the Baltimore Cnltene of Denial 'iKiraeru. Onioe at the-resldence of his mother . 3oatLoUther Street, throe doors below Bedford Carlisle; Panna. , 8,e0.1tJ865. • ' awn ffians pi Rip: R H A K RIV A T. 1 • A or ATiL THE NEW STYLE* . B[;A TS ANT) CAPS. " The riotwcrlher lias .Inst onened at /Vo. is North RanwettStvwL*. few doors North of the Carlisle Oertofllt Bank, one of the Inmost and host Stocks Of HATS and CAPS ever offered In Carlisle. -Snic'Hats.Onsslmereofall styles and qualities, Stiff Brims, different, colors, and every descrip tionof ShftHafa now made. • ■- The Btmkard and Old Fashioned Brush,con stantly, oithnnd and made to order, all warrant ed to give satisfaction. A full assoitmeut of . •• GENTS, BOY’S, ANT) ■'- • CHILDREN'S. ’ ■ hats. . nav6 a!so added to my Stock, notions of dlfler ept.UWgff< consisting of 'VAIS&k*. AND GENTLEMEN’S STOCKINGS ’ • - tiuspenarrs, . r CbKar.-r, ♦ . Glove*. •'i Pencils, . Ihr cad, Seivlna Silk.- . Umbrellas, Ac PRIME SEGARS AND TOBACCO ALWAYS ON HAND. me a call, and examine ray stoclc as I feel confident,bf pleasing all, besides saving you mo ney, JOHN A. KELLER, Aficnt, Nol 15 North Hanover Street. OotOSTO. pj-ATg AND CAPS! DO Ybir WANT A NICE HAT OR CA P 7 DON’T FAIL TO CALL ON ’ J. Or. CALLIO, NO. W.-WESI MAIN STIihKT, Where otvni be Boon the llncßt assortment of HATS AN D CAPS •W6fclitianfrht to Carlisle. Ho takesgrent pleas- his old friendsand customers, and'OlPhqw ones, to his splendid s.ock lust re cllv&Dfrom Now York and Philadelphia, cou- SlStlngiiVpart. Of-Une AND CASSIMERE HATS, besides?,ap, endless 1 variety of Hats and Caps of the latest Style, all of which he will soil at the Ttowenl Cash. Prices, Also, his own.manufacture n Hahralwuys on hand, and SATB;-MA NUFACTURED to ORDER, Heliaatbe best arrangement for coloring Hats and all kinds of Woolen Goods, Overcoats, Ac., at' the shortest notice (as ho colors every week) and on the most reasonable terms. Also, a flue lot of choice brands of AND CIGARS always on band. He desires to calltheatteutlon Of persons ;who have COUNTRY FURS tosell,oBh*e.pays the highest cneh prices for he snrae.’V'Vv ■ • GivehinlH call; at the above number, his dd stand, as he fools confident of giving entire so Is . faction. Oct. 1870. ifitimfers, »r. $' - f;: 'MM ? ( JAMES- CAMiHELL. | \v. !<’. HEN\VOOI.> IIENWOOO, VIAJMBEBB, GA.S AND STEA.M FITTERS No. .18 North Mmi- ver St., ' ' * C A B LISLE. PJA. Hath tubs, ' ’ WATER CLOSETS, . WASHBASINS. HYDRANTS, LIFT AND FORCE PUMPS, . CISTERN AND DEEP WELLPUMPH. ' *'.« GAS FIXTURES. GASHHADES AND GLOBES Ac., Ac. Lea| lron and Terra Colta Pipe. CHIMNEY TO PH ami FLUES. • A H kinds pi B.R ASS WORK lor Steam and Water constantly on band. WORK IN TOWN OR COUNTRY promptly attended to. 03-Immedluto attention, given to orders for material or work Irom'a distance..!?# Having special advantages we arc prepared to furnish k k k k- k k k. k k ; Sep, 1. 70—iv . WHOLESALE, AT X C ITY PRICES constantly on hand such as GLOVES, SUSPENDERS, ; NECK TIES and SHJRX FRONTS, Cambric ami Moon Handker otalefe,-L2uen and Paper Collars aud L'ull'h, Tnmpalngs Braids, Bjjool Cotton, Wallolta Combe, Slatlouarj, Wrapping Paper and Paper BmJnißii, Soaps and Perfumery, Shoo Black, QtOVft.PollHh. Indigo, Sugars, iCc., *o. [•’>: COYLE BROTHERS, '■•---V*' No, 24 South Hanover street, , Match no, 1871-Gm, Carlisle, Pa, JV’X.. STERNER & IIRO,, LIVER y AND SI'ABLR, BETWEEN HANOVER AND BEDFORD STS IN .THE REAR OF BENTZ HOUSE,’ CARLISLE, PA. Having mtea up the Stable with new Cam,. age», do., I am prepared to fnrnisn Hist-clasa torn-onts, at reasonable rates. Parties tnlton to and ftom fbQfffiriugn April Uoa lHflr,—2v [Dividend, f-iCarlisle Deposit Uiaiilr, , GAUPtaiiE, Pa., May 2, 1871. Board of Directors have this day declared ;‘- |l Dividend of live per cent, for tho pa«t six '>>•} months, on the Capital stock, Jieo from State Uid National Taxes, payable on doinund. - J. P. HASSLER. 4,1371—Jim Ouihicr, - . . . . . .. . . • P"'• -i., . „.,. ~. ~.,. . , ~ . , ... ~ I .... . . . . . . t ... ni . il .. . ... . —. • 1 . . ' I! L 'i . 01 '. • ' A tom k •A i t .: -:,1 . . I', . , ~ ...._ ... .: i.,:: • ' . . .. 1 • .. . , . il ' • . i.i. - -, . . . . . . . . . . , . BY BRATTON & KENNEDY, , agricultural Ihnjilments, FA GARDNER & CO., MtIISLG .’MINE WORKS. JVcw Machines for 1871. . i Seeding, Jteaping, Threshing. THE CUMIIKHI.AND VALI.EV Thresher and Separator. Wo oiler this now Thresher and Sdparator, (Cusho & Go’s. I'nlont) Id tno farmers of Cumber land and adjoining counties as fully equal, If not superior to any ma<?hlnonovv manufactured. It has the great advantage of being plain and simple in construction, it Isa VERY RAPID THRESHER AND A PERFECT SEPARATOR AND CLEANER. In using It tho farmer will be sure of making tho most he possibly can outof his crop because it Wastes No Grain, btu saves all that goes through the machine, and separates entirely tho chull from tho straw. Ills an easy running machine and will dolls work thoroughly. This wo guarantee. It Is at 'the same lime the cheapest machine In thomar kct. The HORSE POW ER which wo furnish to run the Cumberland yalley Thresher Is also new and entirely dlirerenMtrconsUucllou from what we have heretofore built, securing much greater power and speed, with lighter draft, so that four Horses only will be required, where many other machines require six and eight horses. 1 ‘ , _, The Cumberland Valley Thresher and Cleaner was tried on the proumlr.of the Cumbeilund County Agricultural Hoclety at tho Fair ol Wtl, a large crowd of farmers being present to wit ness Its operation. The trial was completely successful and tho machine proved Its ability to thresh clean and soparatograln in Iho most sat islaclory manner.' All who witnessed tho trial expressed thelrnppioval In the,warmest terms. The committee on agricultural implements, also gave the machine a special not ice In their re port, strongly recommending it. Tho Cumber land Valley Thresher and Separator, has also been recently used by Col, Wm. M.- Henderson, at his farm near Carlisle, in threshing nnd clean ing a largo crop. Ho lully Is he satisfied of Ils great merits that ho allows us to usehls name as a reference. Farmers who -wish further and fuller particulars as to the-worklng qualities of this n'owmachlne are therefore rospectlully re ferred to c«l, Henderson, one of the most wide ly known farmers ol Cumberland county. Tho Cumberland Valley Thresher will always bo well and substantially built, of the best ma terial, solidly framed In every part, and. pre senting a handsome external appearance.— Trice of machine, with 30 Inch cylinder, $*JO9 without wagon. A great advantage of this ma chine Is that it can be readily repaired at any good shop without trouble. THE CUMBERLAND VALLEY PA TENT SELF BAKING 310 Wim and IUSA PER. We will also bulld'Hiis new machine, with changes ami Improvements fully remedying the defeclsnnd weak points of those built last sea son. Our aim is to supply farmers .with a good home-made machine, which if not superior in all respects to those brought-from a distance Will nevertheless prove in ail essential points, a good and reliable harvester. All wo nslc lor it Is a fiUr trial. , • THE WILLOUGHBY PATENT GUM SPRING Grain Drill. Wo build tins well known Grain Drill now with or without guano attachment, and the shovels in straight or zlg zag rows, just as the fanner prefers. Wo now have,also, a new and improved plan.of attaching the gum tubes, for which wo have obtained Letters Patent, wliloli with otheiMmprbverficnts makes the Willough-' by the most complete and porlect Drill manu actured in the country. A L WAYS ON HAND! a full lino of agricultural implements both of our owu manufacture and from other establish ments, Including every useful, machine needed bv the farmer. We may enumerate HayKakcs, oid fashioned Threshers and Horse Powers. Corn Shelters, of whiqh wejiave three kinds and der Cutters. Cider Mills and other articles too numerous to specify. . Orders taken for all kinds of IB O N WOB IC in onr extensive Foundry and Machine Shops! ami for BUILDING MATERIALS of every de scription in our Door and Sash factory. A full stock of well-seasoned LUMBER always on hand, enabling us to till all orders promptly, at the lowest prices. Farmers.bulldorsand manu facturers are invited to give us a call and seo our facilities for turning out good work. l'. GARDNER A CO., .Tan. 11), 71—Oir s}air Rpiutocvr THE BEST ! HALL’S VEGETABLE SICILIAN HAIR RENE W EK. N>ne years before .the public,and no prepara tion for tho hair has ever been produced equal to Hall’s -‘Vegetable Sicilian Hair Renewer.” and every honest, dealer will say it gives the best sathfudion. It restores GRAY HAIR to its original color, eradlenilngand pieventlng dnn druir, curing BALDNESS and promoting tho growth o‘ Hie hair. The giay and brushy hair bv a few applications Js changed to black and silky Jocks, and wayward hair will assume any shape the wearer desires. It is tho cheapest HAIR DRESSING in tho world, ami Us ©fleets last longer, os it excites the glands to lurnlsh the nut rlllve principle so necessary to the life of tho hair. It gives the hair that splendid appearance so-much admired by all. By Us tonic nndsUni ulot'np properties it prevents the hair irom fil - ling out, and noro need be without Natures drnament, a good head of hair. It is the first real perfected remedy over discovered for curing diseases of tho hair, and It has never been equalled 'and we assure the thousands who hnv used It, It )H kept up to its original high stand ard. Our Treatise on the Hair mailed tree; send fortt. Hold by 'nil' Druggists, and Dealers in medicines,. Price One Dollar uer bottle. R, P. HALL A CO., Prop!lcdor _ laboratory, Nashua N, H, s, A. IfAVMtSTick, Agent, Carlisle, Pa, March 80,1871-ly , 170 R SALE A TRACT OF LAND Jj situate on the Canal and River, in Liverpool township, Perry county, containing 'THREE JirXDRED AEE I'TFTY'ACRES, more or less, having thereon erected a two story brick dou ble DWELLING HOUSE, elegantly finished, a large two-story FRAME DWELLING HOUSE, and a very fine Irnmo BANK BARN, IIQxGO feet. The above tract can bo readily divided into sev eral lands, which will bo sold together or sepa rate, to suit purchasers. Also, a piece of land in the same township, containing Til I RTF ACRES, more or less, part ly cleared. Also, a tract of land on the canal and river. In BullUlo township, In the same county, contain ing ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY ACRES, more or less, about the half being cleared, having Ihorcou erected two log bouses and a log stable. Also, a lot of ground In the borough of Liver pool. being COxSu feet, lying between the river and canal, and having thereou creeled a WARE HOUSE. ■ All to bo sold on very £avo.riVblo terms,and. time given to suit the purchaser. The above properties will bo offered at private sale until OCTOBER 20, 1871, and if not.sold belore that lime will bo sold at public sale on that day in Liverpool, when and where the terms will bo made known. Apply toll. G. mOSER. Mechnnlcsburg, or to J. M’CORMICK, Jr^ Harrisburg. ,le 28-wlf fURLIStiE SPRINGS. grounds at the Spring have been put In good order, and are free to all plc-nica or parties who wish to use them. The Spring and the bathing rooms are la good order. Stabling td r twenty-live horses, WILLIAM BTISSEL, Proprietor, Juno 21), ’7l—3t. JOB UOUK neatly and expeditious ly executed at THIS OFFICE. Ipjoetical MOTHER IN HEAVEN. BY JAMES G.CXAKK, Sweet mother,'the birds from tbodiowors have ’lied,, - * - 1 The-reapec.ba«.gathevcd his sheaves, - «, Tho glorious summer lies silent and de’aii,. And tho land, like a palo mouvnor, grieves ; Rut tho garden of mem’ry Is blooming to-day With Bowers ami leaves ever new, ‘ And tho birds nnd the fountilns that around it play Are singing, dear mother, of you. Like green'shores receding beyond the blue seas, ' Seom the years by your tenderness blest, And youth’s merry music grown faint on the ’• breeze That Is wafting mo on to life’s'West; . 1 Yet beautiful seems tho mild glancoof your eye, And tho blessing your fond spirit, gfivo, As the mists of tho valley hang bright In Iho sky. Though ibo mountains arcylost in the wave. I wonder, sometimes, if the souls that have down Return to tho mourners again, And I ask fora sig nfrom tho trackless Unknown Where millions have questioned in vain. I see not your meek-loving, face through, tho strife Which would blind mo with doubting and fear, But a voice murmurs “pence” to the tempest of Life, . And I know Chat my Mother is near. The cold world may cover my pathway with frowns, And mingle wUh hitler each joy ; It may lead mo with crosses and rob me of crowns, ' ‘ I have treasures It cannot destroy; There’s a green, sunny isle in the depths of my Whose rose’s the winds never strew, And thC'hlllows and breezes around it that roll iirlug tidings of Heaven and you. ||lfetellnncoiis. THE INVOLUNTARY SAM PATCH. It happened one day that a discussion arose in the natural philosophy class of Williams College, Berkshire, Mass., on the question, '‘Why is it that, of the va rious victims carried'over Niagara Falls, no trace of their bodies has ever been found, either in Niagara River or Lake Ontario ?’’ One student .suggested that the fall Uself wns sufficient to dash to atoms any body whatever; another thought that the weight of water could not blit keep the body effectually down in the. crannies of the. abyss below the precipice, and the. idea of a third was, that the. numerous fishes tenanting the deep pool, when fa ’vored with a stray corpse now and then, would leave slender chance for “contin gent remainders. ,J The genial professor, after hearing tho various theories of his young philoso phers, said that fie would not advance one of his o.WDj but .that, in humble imitation of a’greater man, he,would tell them a “ little story, 5 ’ which might possibly, he thought, throw a ray of light upon the subject. “In my early days,’ 3 he continued, “I was one of the teachers in an academy of Berkshire. A pleasant stream fiowed past the village, and, on Saturday after noons, it. was an agreeable recreation to walk alongits'banka for a few miles, until I could see its head-waters issue from the side of a steep hill which bounded the prospect. Crossing the stream by a rude bridge opposite uuj cjol»<k>j.ljoui>o, T had wamierea, one hot July afternoon, up'tb* left bank for nearly two miles, where it lakes a sudden turn, bringing the way* fayer by its c’rcuitous windings within, easy reach of raj’ starting-point. “Feeling tired, and tho stream being here very narrow, X resolved to ford It and save my distance. There is a water fall at this spot, and below it a broad expanse of water, clear, and shallow, ex cept immediately underneath the shoot, where the depth is twelve or fourteen feet. Marching up tho bank about two rods; ! divested myself of slices and of stockings, which I look in ray hand and prepared to cross. Four steps would land me on the other side. The little run, was scarcely a foot deep, and a slippery green moss, somewhat smoothed by the lined its bed inviiingly. I threw out a good stout ieg, and planted one foot.on the silky, verdure. “Did I sny planted? I received in stantera lesson in dynamics cn which I had not calculated, and which may save the dignity and the equilibrium of future topographical engineers. “In the twinkling of an eye the force of the current had swept me oft’, and I whliled down, holplesss as an infant, to the falls below. Even in tho moment of topling, I kept perfectly cool, and never during the accident lost my presence of mind. Fear I hud none. I'was a most powerful swimmer; thefe were no rocks, as I well knew, and, before I reached the rapid are the operations of the mind, my course was clearly marked out. As soon as T plumped into the nool, I would fioat to the surface, make for the shore, have a hearty laugh at my mishap, and enliven my fellow-teachers with a gav recital of it on my return. ' ‘‘‘Over I went very comfortably, and, that I reached the pebbly bottom, you may pretty safely, presume, “But. to‘my exceeding surprise I found that floating-up, .though I was several yards out of tin* torrents-reach, was quite another affair. labandoned mystoekings and shoes, to which I had clung in my headlong descent, and struck out with might ami main, but to no purpose—! could not rise ! I knew that T was sound in limb, and felt no superincumbent weight pressing me down.. 1 struck oiit and kicked vigorously in the approved way, but, no sooner did I progress three or four inches upward, than a sort of mag netic attraction, gentle but irresistible, drew my-toes down to their old resting place. “It was an incomprehensible 1 fix.’ I redoubled my effort*:, again and again, with a similar result. The case was be coming desperate.. Was I really doomed to die iu this wretched hole, about as pitiful a finale for a sophomore as Duke Clarence’s in the Malmsey butt? Ophe lia’s slip, Shelter's diver in the innermost main, and Bam Patch’s unlucky jump, all crowded upon my imagination, now preternuturely alert. I would havesighed but for lack of oxygen, that no friends were to stand am rowing around about my dying bed, stepping, with decorous woe behind my remains, and shedding tears by wholesale, “ Worst of all, I fancied my cluira’a unsophisticated lament in the rear of my hearse: U>‘ Ah, poor Sam ! Our best swimmer tone drowned at hiscllke a blind puppy! 1 “Visions, moreover, of muskrats gnaw ing mv Ileah.aDd ravenous pikes darting their long noses into the sockets of iny eyes, certainly* did not tend to. raise, my spirits. “By this time! was nearly paralyzed through sheer exhaustion, and fel£ but too surely that endurance had reached U's limit. One more terrible struggle, and alas! my plight was worse than ever.— Noises ns of a thousand cannon were ringing in my ears, and I fancied that blood was beginning to start from my mouth and nostrils. Will you believe me when I say that 1 was literally in a cold sweat ? • , • “At this crisis, when I had made up my mind for the worst, It occurred to me that I could not rise. I might beuble to c-eep or walk below water, and thus manage to reach the brink, which was at no great distance. It was a heaven sent inspiration, and acted on without on instant’s delay. I fouud to*my joy there was no hindoranco whatever to this mode of progression, and crawled along the bottom like a crab. In less than OAtoAgT.E. p Aij THURSDAY, JULY 6. 1871 twenty seconds my dripping head emerg ed from the treacherous bath, anal. one© tppre respiriu” tbo warm summer air I was save'll I •' “Throwing myself oh the grass with unutterable thankfulness, I rested for a few minutes, aud then deliberately waded In again to recover the shots and stock ings I had, loft behind, which was easily .accomplished ; scf you see* my friends, that with perseverance, ‘somethings may be done as well as others!* f ' ... " " “ coiiid not rise or ©Vim in that water? ■•‘The dashing of the torrent had raised/ so many foam-bells, and so inflated a denser element with air, that, the specific gravity of the w&tor/was totally changed, and I might as well have attempted to float on oil or ehampnigne as on that sparkling current. - “ The strongest fish that ever swum the ocean would be powerless to rise from the abyss of Niagara.” —Alexander Za(ta } in Appleton's Journal . LOCKED IN WITH A CRAZY MAJL Friday evening, abouteight o’clock,ns a woman named Eliza'Christopher* who lives at Michigan" avenue toll-gate, just outside of Detroit, was seated on the front steps of her house, an unknown man came through the gale and asked.for a drink of water. He stated that be had just left a train at the junction. The woman started for the kitchen to get him a drink,,when the man followed her in, locked the front door, and removed the key, and before she could comprehend his purpose, had also locked and pocket ed the key of the back door,, thus render ing her a prisoner in her own house.— Mrs. Christopher began to scream as she realized the fact, when the man seized herby the throat and threatened to kill her.if she. did not stop. He commenced asking her-questions, putting them in such a wuy that she saw he was insane. After a time he told her that she would not he hurt if she would keep quiet, but that he was going to lie down and have a rest, having walked Horn New Orleans that day. He pulled ofl’ his coat and stretched himself out bn the.cnrpet, and was soon apparently asleep. The woman then tried,to leave the room, but the fel low sprang up, flourished a chair over her head, and seemed determined to kill her, The screams of the woman so en* raged him that he struck her two or three blows with hia hands, and would no doubt have done her serious harm had she cot had, sense enough to cease her noise. He (hen laid down again, but not to sleep, putting her through a catechism of questloria, which laatedabout an hour, and making threats of vengeance every time she faltered in answering. At length a little girl, about six years old, who was sleeping in the bed-room, awoke, and began to cry, And the lunatic, declaring “the men wffre coming again,** jumped out of the parlor window and run oil’ taking the keys with him. He was af terwards discovered and driven away from a stable, which ho was trying to break open, and a person supposed to be him threw a stone through a saloon, window. • ■ .. Take More Sleep.—How many per sons are there that go to bed at a reason able hour ? 'Many will ait up reading or conversing until twelve, one, or.even two o'clock at night. This is kept up, and finally becomes a habit, and when they do retire, they cannot sleep. They grad ually lose fiesh, become dyspeptic and debilitated; being unable to account for this emaciation, they consult a physician. Certain medicines are prescribed, and still the.difflculty exists. The medical adviser has probably ne glected to interrogate his patient as to his habits, and he, too, is at a loss to un derstand, why his remedial agents have ,nnt. ih« rm»r>Rr.salutary effect.. The. P atient now changes physicians, and so he continues until, from exhaustion, he is; compelled to remain in bed, until nature regains her grand recuperative power of sleep, and the patient comparatively re •covers for>a few months* when, if the same habit is continued, ho relapses into his former condition. Many persons will tell you they cannot sleep it they go to bed at nine or ten o’clock in the, evening; and this is true, when the nervous sys tem'has been abused; but when persona will retire at a reasonable hour, they will soon full asleep, and one. hour’s sleep, previous to twelve o’clock at night, will do the system more good than three hours after that time. Silting, up lute at night impairs the eyes and destroys the complexion, which add much misery to the life of -young ladies. Young men should bear in mind, when they indict (heir society on the fair sex till a late hour of night that they can leave when they feel .inclined, but their hostess is compelled to entertain them during their visit. —Medical Reporter % Anecdote’of Footk.— The following, anecdote’mny he relied on : When Foote bad a house at Hampstead, he Invited a number of friends in London to dine with him, 20 of whom obeyed the Invi tation, and fared supmptously. The re pastheing over, Dr. HefTernan, who was oneof the company, drew from ids pocket proposals for a new edition of Horace; the conditions slating that the price would be two guineas, half to be paid at (lie time of subscribing and the other half on the delivery of the bonk. Our Aristophanes throw down his guinea' without delay, declaring himself a subscriber.-and every person present instantly followed bis ex ample. Hut after Heflernan had pocket ed the 20 guineas, our host delivered the following remonstrance, addressing him self to the most affluent physician : ‘Hef fermin, lids is about the time that I have sudscribed to your. Horace, but for Heaven’s sake never think of printing it! It Is hardship enough to he obliged to throw away a guinea; but the furtherpnnishmenc of reading your vile nonsense would he intolerable.’ The doc tor soiled, ami Implicitly followed his advice, for not a line of Ids Horace* over appeared. A Curious Hit of, Ambrcian Histo ry.—The most memorable tiling in con nection with the history of Mecklenburg county, North .Carolina, is the “Meck lenburg Declaration of Independence,” whic.h was adopted May 20, 1775, in an old,' round-log apd clap-board covered school house, used us a court room, artiid most enthusiastic shouts. Attached to tliis document, writes a correspondent, are the names of seven Alexanders, many of whose grandchildren and great grandchildren still reside there, This was the first action taken which looked to a complete separation of the colonies from Great Britain, and the establish ment of American Independence. The paper was taken to Philadelphia by Cap tain Jack and placed in the hands of John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, to bo presented to the Colonial Congress; but these gentlemen replied that it was too soon for such a movement. This was more than one year before Mr Jefferson wrote the “Declaration” adopted on the 4th of July, 1770. “fbo agreement in seuthneut, and the similarity of a number of passages, prove that Mr. Jef ferson bad not rend and studied the “Mecklenburg Declaration” in yain. A Sister's InFLgENCE, —“That man has grown among kind and loving sis ters,” I once heard a lady remark. ‘And why do you think so? 1 said I, ‘Because of the rich development of all the ten der feelings, of the heart, which are so apparent la every word.* A sister's in fluence Is felt oven in manhood's later and the heart of him who. has grown cold with its contact with the world, will warm and thrill with pure enjoyment as some Incident awakes with the soft (ones and. glad melodies of his slster’a voice. And he will turn from purposes which a warped and false pliil osopby has reasoned into expediency and weep for the gentler influence which loved him in his earlier years. MBCrp oiaic LiUiiiiiiiuddi hOn j. s. black on the situation. The 0U» Kesoluliou ably D.-feu.lo.l, POWERFUL INDICTMENT OF RADICALISM. , or (1.0 Ailnilnlsl n.llon, Tbo Incapacity of Gi'ijnt. THE ISSUES BEFORE THE COUNTRY. — 1' To the People of Pennsylvania. Tlie executive committee of the democ racy of this state, to whom the following address was referred by the recent state convention, now presentthe same to you as embodying some r>f the reasons which actuate afli controUheorganlzation they represent: , We here solemnly renew dur often re peated declaration of fidelity to the great principles uporf which our party has ac ted from tboyme of Its first organization. Our ultimate objects are those of our fathers when they adopted the lederul constitution* viz : “ To form a more per fect union. to, establish justice, to insure domestic tranquility, to promote the gen eral Welfare.'to provide foT the common defense, and secure the blessings of liber ty ourselves and our posterity.” We sincerely believe that the government of the linked States, administered as it was in foimer days, with.a direct view to the advancement of these* principles, would < do far us and for our children all that any people can reasonably desire from the' political system .under which they live: Wo are equally sure that if not.carried out in the spirit of those by whom it was framed U must become a curse instead of a blessing. Situated as we are, obedience To the fundamental law means not, only the honest performance of sworn obliga tions, but freedom, peace and prosperity to all classes of the people. On the other hand, the usurpation of interdicted or undelcgated power is not only a crime in Itself, but the fruitful parent of other crimes, will lead, as it lias always led to indefinite' misgovern went, corruption and tyranny, subverting, dll liberty, and rendering the rights of all men insecure. When we speak of the federal consti tution, we mean the whole instrument, with all its amendments, and acknowl edge the equal obligation of every part. {Several of. those amendments were carri ed by ,brufe force and by frauds upon the public will.so glaring as to take from their authors all claim Upon our,respect. Hut we cannot deny that they have actu ally become a part of the constitution; nor can we avoid that fact, or get behind it, by showing the corrupt misconduct of the men who at that time controlled coo* gress and mastered the state legislatures. Whosoever swears to support the consti tution must yerform all that is “nomina ted in the bond.*' Any change which experience and reason shall prove to be desirable must be made in the prescribed way, and not by revolutionary and dis orderly means. THE DECLARATION OF 1871. No candid person will deny that the leading men In power at Washington have been -unfaithful to their duties. They .‘have broken the pledges they made to the people, and, in reckless dis regard to thetr oaths, they have violated the plainest provisions of the constitution. They have deprived the states of their sacredrightofself-governmeutrn matters purely local, and disarmed them of the power to enforce .their own laws for the preservation of. order within their own boundaries, - ’ Tlioi/havenasaed billg of pains and pen alties, operating on millions at once, with out regard to the guilt or innocence of the parties. They have trampled on all the securities of life, liberty and property- They have treated . the habeas corpus law with couteinpt.aud denied the right of trial by jury. They have sent out swarms of their hireling agents, with instructions to kid nap, imprison ami, kill free citizens for political offenses, without judicial accu sation, without warrant, and without le gal trial. They have not only trodden upon the great principles embodied in the original constitution as it came from the bauds of its framers, but even the amendments, which they themselvef interpolato4*hay.e_ been broken without remorse whenever it suited their interests. lii defiance of the XiTlth amendment they have doomed many persons to the worst kind of “slavery or involuntary servitude” in the public prisons, without the pretense of any ■“ crime whereof the ! party was legally convicted.” In the face of {he XlVLh.lbey have abridged the equal rights of whole mus ses of white‘citizens* Without the least respect for the right of -universal suffrage, guaranteed by the XVlh, they have interfered both forcibly and fraudulently to prevent fair elec tions,'- and to set them aside after they were held. . •* These outrages upon justice, liberty and law have been perpetrated, not during tlffe conflict of a civil war—not in mo ments of wild passion or heated excite ment—hut in cold blood, upon deliberate reflection, in u time of profound peace, in full view of the consequences, anti, their authors have followed out this line of policy, step by step, with a persistency which allows their fixed determination of tlie future, as in the past, to bo bound by no oath and held by no promise’ Tb.ctwolastand mostimportant of their nuti-cnuatituliobul measures show more distinctly than others tnelrsetlleddcslgn to strangle the liberties of the nat ion, ami takeperpetnal powerintotheirown hands The force bill authorizes the President, not only to invade the states at his pleri'a.- uro, but by declaring martial law, to sub vert all government, except what con sists of his mere will. Under the election law his cannon Is planted directly against the freedom of state elections. Already the bayonets of the executive have glea med around the polling places of the peo ple In the cities Of New York and Phila delphia. Who ci'ii mistake the meaning of these preparations’for the next presi dential election ? Who doubts that warn-; inguwd rebuke are needed now to prevent the administration from currying out Us purpose by force? If the warning bo not given by the people, or fall of its pro per effect, can wo hope for peace? It seems to us an error to suppose the Amer ican people tame enough to be kicked under the yoke of a despotism, or ignor ant enough to be juggled out of the great inheritance of free government which the fathers left them. ROTTENNESS OF THE ADMINISTRATION. We complain of our present rulers for lawless usurpation of power.- Power not delegated is always abused. In this, as In otbtr cases, usurpation has been accom panied and followed by corruption.— Frauds, without number, and almost without limit, have been committed on the public. Men of the worst character for common honesty are permitted to oc cupy the highest places. Of the money collected from the people, and not stolen before it reaches the treasury, a large pprtlon Is squandered by congress on par ly favorites, or corrupt rings, and on base combinations of public plunderers...-. The enormous extent to which this financial corruption has been carried will become manifest to any one who Compares the expenditures of the government during the six years which followed the civil war. Both were periods of peace, and there can be no. excuse for more than a small Increase corresponding to the ratio in which the population hasadvauced. But where the’oruinary expenditures for the fiscal year ending June 1,.1870, exclusive of Indian annuities, pensions and inter est on the public debt, were $148,069,022- 43, for the year ending June 1, 1800, the expenditures for tbefeome purposes were Hot. iSSS.OIS.ISS 72., Here is shown the carrying on our'government wmm* nf agents are honest, ami the cost of the same thing when its ollioers are so desti tute of moral principle ns to disregard all legal limitations upon their own author tty. -rv-feoßunperverted representative sings like the Heaven, unseen and unfelt, save in the beauty and fresh* ness they contribute to produce ; these 'dllfe'tranqoalltyofa TegaiTjstabllflhmont.- • may sometimes bo'a compensation for the burdens it imposes, but a rotteu republic is at once the most costly, the most op pressive, the most unsteady of all politi cal structures. THE RIGHTS OF DAUOR To support the extravagant corruptions of an administration like the present, and at the same time pay the pensions and the Interest oh the debt, would require heavy taxation at best. But the party in power has contrived to make the taxes doubly burdensome by their mode of levying and collecting them. Greatgangsofunneces-. eary officers are supported and fattened out of them.. They are in many cases im posed, not with any*'vlew.to the supply of the public treasury, but solely to oper ate as bounties for the benefit of the in dividuals and private corporations.— .While the mouth of labor la thus robbed of the bread it earns, the fortunes of monopolists and ringmasters are hideous ly swelled, and their rap&city inflamed for still furtberaggresslon upon the rights of the industrious masses. The necessity of revenue reform is admitted on all Lands, and by none more freely than by candid supporters of the so-called repub lican party In congress, but the majority is so completely controlled by private In terests the consideration of < public duty have no influence on them.' AN INDEPENDENT JUDICIARY ■ No people can be wholly enslaved so long as they have the protection of an independent and upright judiciary. The radical party, feeling this, have tried by all means, fuirand foul, to make the fed eral judiciary an instrument to aid them in their crusade against the law of the land. They have filled th.o inferior courts, especially in the south, with their most unscrupulous partisans. Again and again they have constructed and recon structed the Supreme Court—sometimes by reducing and sometimes by increas ing the number of judges—always with a view to make a majority which could bo relied on to endorse their anti-constitu tional legislation. When the judgments of that august, tribunal sustained the an cient principles of liberty and Justice, Ita authority, was denounced, disobeyed :iud contemned. They have interposed in a pending* case with legislative decrees to take away the jurisdiction.of the court and prevent it from protecting a citizen whose plainest right they desired to in vade. We solemnly trusttbat they have ,nol yet succeeded, pud will never succeed in bending the court of last resort to their foul purposes. RADICAL RECONTRUCTION. Their so-called reconstruction laws are a series of experiments fpr the reduction of the southern states to the lowest condi tion of political slavery, hoping thereby to make them instruments for the enslave.- ment of every other section, To this end they, have not only refused them a rep resentation in congress, but forced them to be misrepresented by persons who came there to get oppressive laws enac ted against them. They have steadily struggled to make the state governments the tools of their partisan tyranny. Ev erywhere they have debauched the ad ministration cf justice, disregarded the popular will, and produced the most frightful disorders. Scalawags, carpet baggers, and the most ignorant of the uogru population welter together in one mass of moral putrefaction, scouiging tho respectable and peaceful citizens with their dishonest exactions. These.outra ges are openly justified, and their en couragement declared to be neceasary for the good of .the radical party. The lore most members of congress have avowed their determination to legislate upon them with reference to the chances it may give them of carrying future elections. In other words, the worst wrongs and the most-shameful violations of common justice are committed; in order that a certain combination of politicians al ready in power may continueTo rule us for their pleasure, and plunder us for their profit./ iNCOMPETENCV OF GRANT- Of Gen. Grant we desiro.to speak with the repecc that is due to lire chief magis trate of thenaliou and a soldier of great reputation. But it is painfully manifest that he is not lit for ids place. He has never made the slightest efforts to pre serve, protect or defend the constitution. On the contrary lie has given to Us ene~< mies.in congress all the aid and comfort he could, and he has assumed, without scruple, power which kings are cureful not to exercise and 'which no republican ruler can hold without mortal offence to popular liberty. Instead of guarding the public treasury ho has encouraged the corrupt extravagance of congress, and some of the worst jobs have imd their or igin in the rings which immediately sur round him. Before and about (lie time ot his election his inconsistent expres sions showed that he had no convictions —perhaps no knowledge-upon' public affairs. He avowed openly in writing, over bis own name, that bo had impoli cy, that is to say no opinions or senti timents \vhioh' would • control his choice of measures But leading and ainbhioiis men of the republican party proposed to him a policy which would, servo their interests at the expense of equal rights and they accompanied their suggestions with offers of enormous pres ents in money, lands, homes and goods far exceeding in’ value the annual salary which the people agreed to’pay him for an impartial and just administration of their government. Ho accepted the pres ents, adopted the policy, ami appointed the donors to offlee. THE ISSUES- It will surely be admitted that all American citizens who believe these facta to be true are bound by the sacred obligations of patriotism, honor and con science to oppose this state of things and by opposing, end it.’ The persons inter ested in preventing a change will, ask Uow, to what extent, and by what means we propose to make reforms. The ques tion is a fair one and wo will answer It briefly* It will be the duly of the dem ocratic party, and, to the extent of onr authority, original or delegated-, we here by pledge ourselves and our associates, so fur as in us lies— 1. To put the ship of stale once again on her constitutional tact and hold her head firmly and steadily to that course. 2. To protect individual citizens of all parties, classes and creeds in the enjoy ment of life, liberty, property, reputation and the pursuit of their lawful business, by an impartial administration of justice in the ordained and.established courts. 3. To preserve the powers of the gen eral government in their whole constitu tional vigor as our solo defense against foreign aggression, the safest bond of un ion between dlflerent sections of the country and the only sure promise of a general prosperity. 4. To maintain, unimpared, the reser ved rights of the states, not only because they are guaaroteed by the federal con stitution, but because the states alone can safely be trusted with the manage ment of their own local concerns. 5. To reduce the expenditures of the government by confining its appropria atlons to legitimate objects, by a rigid system of accountability and economy, and by abolishing much of the unneces sary and pernicious machinery with which it Is now encumbered. G. To moderate the burdens of the peo ple, not only by economical administra tion, but by a system of taxation upon foreign imports as as domestic pro ductions which shall be Just and equal la VOL, 58.—N0. 4. its operation upon tlio property and bus iness,of the country, not enriching some open to the framnHiea, others, and not ticed, . * — l i«-nrac- DUTIES TO THE PEOPLE. 7. To preserve the public credit by the prompt navmerit of Mm " e consecrate the pulillJ Uimm l iW the use of the landless people who need it bya system which will secure a suffi ciency to all, and slop at once the long -Bef4e&-o£ .a millions bf acres have been givefn frwajr to those wlib already have more than enough. t ' ~ , These are some’of the duties which lie before the people if they desire' to see their government administered with a decentrespect forthe constitution of their fathers or with tolerable honesty in finan cial matters. Wo have no lest of orthodoxy, no dis abilities for nor discriminations against former political antagonists* We cannot and do not object to bygone differences, provided the citizen be truly and faith fully devoted now to the interests and in stitutions of the whole country and all the inhabitants thereof. Our object is not revolution, but resto ration; not injury to our opponents, but an assertion of our own rlghts and those of our fellow-citizens. By order of tlio Democratic Executive Committee.. WILLIAM A.. WALLACE, Chairman , Slimmer Evening Mimic, Of all the memories of a European tour, nono is more vivid or more de lightful than the out of door music of tho continent. Indeed, musiq and life in the open air have a much closer re lation to each other than is generally imagined. The most musical people in the world are the Germans and the Italians, whose two schools are ac knowledged as the only standards of musical faste and culture, and the Ger mans pass most of their time opt of doors during the summer, while the Italians of the cities live in the open air for the greater part of the year.— Music is cheap with them, because it is a part of their being, and it is excellent because their taste has been so highly educated that they will hot tolerate mediocrity in composition.or perform ance. Tho increasing attention paid to mu sic in this country, especially in the lino of summer concerts, wine h is in a great measure duo to the large German element in our population, is a very gratifying fact. . The climate of the United States from May to October in vites us to the open air for the enjoy ment of the pleasantest hours of the twenty four in the late afternoon, and parks have come veryproperlyto.be regarded by ail our municipal govern ments as indispensable adjuncts, to cities; But the park without music is the rose without perfume, life without love, a world destitute of color, Hamlet with tho Prince of Denmark omitted. Given a park there must be music.— And what so conducive to innocent en joyment, to the public health, to tho improvement of the national taste ? It would be a curious inquiry to ex amine tho difference in the open air life of the Germans and the French in re spect of their musical entertainment.— Paris has always been, in a certain sense, musical, and on the Champs Elysees the summer nights used to bo “ filled with music.” But the French man liked the cafe chanlant, the stage and the foot lights, gas and guaze pet ticoats, even under the trees. The ex pressive, spiritual, dreamy music, the lofty harmonies or the great German masters, or the pure melodies of the Italian composers, would alike have bored him unspeakably. For instru mental effect he prefers Offenbach.— Tho German demands the highest effects of the art, and rejects all that is meretricious or impure. ’ But this comparison is apart from the matter in hand, which is the impor tance of providing both for the amuse ment and instruction of our people by the best musical performances. Ali efforts in this direction deserve the heartiest encouragement, and it is easy to see that they will receive it. The 1 orchestral lender who .provides a high order of music ir. the open air is a pub lic benefactor; “ Fdn at Home.—Don’t bo afraid of a little fun at home good people. Don’t shut up your house lest the sun should fade your carpets; and your hearty laugh should shako down some of the musty cobwebs there. If you want to fuifi your sons, lot them think that all mirtli and social enjoyment must bo left on the threshold without when they come home at night. When once a •homo is regarded ns only a place to eat. and drink, and sleep in, the work is begun that ends in gambling houses and reckless degradation. Young peo ple must have fun and relaxation some where ; if they do not find it at their own hearthstones, it will bo sought at other, and perhaps less profitable pla ces. Therefore, let the lire burn biight ly at night, and make the homestead delightful with all those little airs that parents so perfectly understand. Don’t repress the buoyant spirits of your children; half ah hour of merriment around the lamp and fire light of a home blots out the remembrance of many a care and annoyance during the day, and the best safeguard they can take with them into the world is the unseen influences of a bright little do mestic circle. ■ Jealousy. -A lady residing in a Wes tern city returned borne one . veningand beard some noise in-the room usually occupied by herself and her husband.— The door being closed, she resorted to the keyhole, to which place she applied her eye. She saw the figure of a woman; standing by her side was the husband of tlie jealous wife, actually engaged in ad justing a shawl upon theshoulders of the intruding female. Taking a shot-gun, she forced open the door, and shot the woman in the back. Theu the husband screamed, and the wife fainted. On her return to consciousness mutual explana tions followed. The body ol the woman who was shot was brought in, and it was seep to be a dummy ! The husbaudis a dry goods' merchant, and had brought (he image home to repair the damage it bad sustained by exposure. The jealous wife still lives : What A Printbb Dm.—Tlie Emper or of Germany Is a practical printer.— All his family are obliged to have some trade. William chose to ho a typo, and worked at the case three years. Since dropping the ‘composing stick,’ he has taken up the ‘shooting stick,' ‘imposed’ all Germany into one ‘form,’ under one ‘head, 1 given ids army a first class ‘make up,’ knocked the French completely into ‘pi,’ and ‘locked up,’ their ‘leader,’ till they agreed to pass over tire ‘quoin.’ Ohio has at least one female citizen who can assert her rlghlawithout asking any aid of the ballot box. She charged her husband with lunacy, and he suc ceeded In convincing her of his sanity only by coming ‘down with a check of $BOO. We commend her example to all wives la want of pin money. The plan might not work every time, but the ex pefimont la worth trying. Emerson fitly'says: “ I'ho poor are only they who feel poor, and poverty conaiata only in feeling poor." Bates for advertisements will bo inserted at Ton;com« por lino for tho first Insertion, and five coals per lino for each subsequent Insertion. Quar terly half-yearly, and yearly advertisements Ih ertod at a. liberal redaction on tho abovo rates. Advertisements should bo accompanied by the Cash, "When sent without any length ol time specified for publication, they will boconllnned Qntll ordered out and onargodaooordlngly. JOB PRINTING, cards, handbidls, Circulars, and every Oth or description of Jon and Card Printing," ©ana aim Euaa. n * C J£ EAI * o ut-of-door breakfast— A roll in the grass. »teX“ gllt ooi * by * kiS9ine £j2«? w ’ low gold .may get, H particular friend, is nol ‘You are o‘ queer chicken,’ ns the ben -aaid-wben ebe-batclred out aduck...;„„..l._. True eloquence .consists in saying all that is neceaaary’nnd nothing more. . A. Prudent man is like a pin, his bend preventing him from going too tar. Elmira rats don’t know much. They steal shoo pegs and stow them away for oats. When does a son not take after his father? When the father leaves him nothing to take. Why are fashionable young ladies like letters ? Because, unless they have stamps, the males reject them. It has just been discovered that noth ing will make a woman so mad ns look- . lug for her night-cap after the lamp is I out. A youNCf lady went into a music store and asked the clerk if he had ‘Loving Eyes,’ (the song.) He replied, "I'm told so by’ the girls.’ The next Woman’s Bights conven tion ought io be held in. Philadelphia ; they have developed a twelve year old female burglar there. The Princess Louise’s wedding cake was a two hundred-pound cake, and was three stories high, not including this sto ry, which is good for high, too. An Indiana preacher asserted that no tobacco ohewer could'onter the Kingdom of Heaven, and his congregation dwin dled down to three women and a baby. The drum-major-who ran away from Cbiokamuga, when reproached with cowardice, replied: ‘l’d rather be called a coward all my life, than a corpse fif teen minutes.’ A New Hampshire Irishman became frightened while being lowered into a deep well the other day, and cried out to the men above that if they did not haul him up he’d cut the rope. . A I.ouisvir.r.Ti-, editor regrets that Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony are go ing to the Pacific in June, ns that is a little late in the season for Comanchea and too early for Arapahoea. A BeSident of Kalamazoo, Mich-, writes to a “skule hoared’.’ in Ohio; that he will take a school, os he has ‘‘tougbt 1 terms skule & I attended Col ledge -1 yra atdetrolt mishigan and am 28 yrs ov age. you can roost in a fifth story clothes press at Saratoga this Summer, and en joy the usual bill of fare at the table, for four dollars a day, payable to the land lord, and half ns much, more or less to the waiters. A Man married a buxom Irish girl greatly to the horror of his mother and sister, made tho following defence: ‘‘lf I married an American girl I must have an Irish girl to take care of her, t and I cannot bilord to support both of them." Ttvo ‘colored gentlemen,’ playing bil liards, quarreled. One hit the other over the bead with tbe but end of the cue; which made the splinters fly, whereupon the assailed darkey paused to remark, 'now,' Bam, stop, and let’s reason dis yere ting a little.’ Thebe Is a great joker living in lowa, by the name of Ache, and be has named a newly-arrived daughter ‘‘Beliie.P the short for Isabella. Now, what we want to know is, how will the girl like to write that name as she grows older? It will look kind of queer, won’t it; A Man having been brought before a Dutch Justice of the Peace, in “Albany county, on a charge of having four wives, the astounded magistrate exclaimed.-, ‘You let dat man go. Ifholifs mlt four wifes lie has punishment enough. I Ilfs mit only von, and that’s more’n I can shtand.’ A West Virginia man has publssbed an advertisement in the only paper in his town,. wjilch rends; Tf the lady (?) who has been using my coal for the past few months, will please cal) upon the next neighbor for her future supply, she will much oblige, me. as my stock is about exhausted.’ ... If 20 grains make a scruple, how many will make a doubt? If 7 days make one week, now many will make one strong? If 5! yards mak a pole, bow many will make a turk ? If three miles make a league, how many will make a confeder acy ? ' If four quarters make a yard, how many will make a garden? A Colored man was arraigned before one of the Camdera courts, a short time since, charged with the larceny of some wood. When called upon to plead to the indictment, he said : ‘I bought the wood, and dat I knows I did, but to save my soul from de gallis, I cannot tell the man I bought it of, kase I bought in in the dark. I guees I’ll plead guilty !’ 'Comb here, my little Eddie,’ saitj a gentleman to a youngster of seven years of age, where a large company was as sembled ; 'do you know me?’ ‘Yes, sir, I think I do.’ ‘Who am I then? Det me bear.’ ‘You are the man who kissed sister Angeliue, last night in tbe parlor.’ Augeliue fainted. Mr. A. was somewhat of a wit, and even at his dying moments, could not let an opportunity pass to crock a joke as the following will show: As his end drew nigh, and his friends and relations gatheied around his bedside, one young lady remarked that his breath was get ting very’short. .‘Why,’ replied the wit opening his dying eyes; ‘can you see tbe end of it ?’ . A Letter addressed “To Eny Promi nent Busfness Man Handling Butchers Stock Quincy Ills,” and containing the following marginal directions; “Post master will pleas hand this to some fat cattle man,” was received at the Post Cilice recently. In accord ance with the request, the letter was handed to the fattest man in the town. The following resolutions were passed by the Boardof Councilman in Canton, Mississippi: 1. Resolved, by the Council, that we build a new Jail. _2. Resolved, that the new Jail be built out of the materials of tbe old Jail. 3. Resolved, that the old Jail be used until the new Jail is finished. , Typical.-Trees.—For gouty people the ache corn. For antiquarians—the date. Forjschoolboys —the birch. . For"lrlahmeu—the och. For conjurors—the palm. For organists —the reed. For negroes—“see dab.” For young ladlea-.-the man-go. For farmers—the plauCin. For fashionable ladles—firs. For dandies—tbe spruce. For actors—the pop’lar. For physicians—the syc-a-mor.. For your wife—her wlll-ob. For lovers—the sigh-press. For the disconsolate—the pine. For engaged people—the pear For sewfng girls—the hem-lock. For lodging-house people-the ash. For tailors—the button-ball. For detectives—the seek-em more. For sweethearts—the two-lip. . For whom was this written—yew.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers