Stye Slmcrkan Volunteer. f. miBLiSHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING -.- BY imA.TT'OiN Jc KENNEDY, OFFICE-SORTM MARKET SQUARE V ftHMS j—Two Dollars per .year If paid strictly m advance; Two Dollars and Filly Cents If paid tfltliinthree months* after which Three Dollars W UI bo charged. These terms will be rigidly ad* aered to in every instance. No subscription dia* outlined until all arrearages are paid, unless a L ‘lheoptlon of the Editor.’ cratm JOTTED STATES CEAlif AND «EA h MSI ATE A tiJSJSTC Y. WAT. B. BTJTLEK, ATTORNEY AT T.AW, OlUee In Franklin House, youth Hanover Street i’Afllsle. Cumberland county, I’omia. Applications by mall, will receive Immediate Attention. Particular attention given to the selling or rent ing of Beal Estate, In town or country, in all let ters of Inquiry, pl&iso enclose postage stamp. July 11,1870—tf ’ Jjl I’. BEIiTZHOOVER, r [attorney-at-law, CARLISLE,-PA, —T“^ Hp-Ofllco on South Hanover Street, opposite feutz’s dry goods store. Dec. 1.1805. j_JUMBICH & PARKER, A TTORNJSY3 A T LA TF. Office on Main' Street, In Marlon Wall, Car slo, Pa. ‘ Deo. 2 1808— 0,33 0. B^EMIG. W ATTORNEY- AT-LAW, Ofllco with S. Hepburn, Jr. ■ JUnat Jl/afti Street, CARLISLE, PA. Feb.2,7l— ly WKENTTEDY, 'Attorney at Law, , Carlisle. Ponna. Ofllco same' aa thatoi rue “American Volunteer,” Dec. 1. 1870. GEORGE S. BEARIGHT, Den tist. From the. Baltimore College of Dental <ery. Office at the residence of nls mother East Louther Street, three doors below Bedford Carlisle, Ponna. Dec. 1 1805* ?&nts ana *Says, B E B E ARRIVAL OF ALL Tins IS KW STYLES Op II A T 8 AND CAPS. The subscriber has Just orieuocl at No . 15 North Hanover Street, a few doors North of the Carlisle Denoslt Bank, one of the largest aud best Stocks of HATS and CAPS ever ofl'erqd In Carlisle. ■ Silk Hats, Cossiraero of all styles and qualities, SllfTCrlmrt, different colors, and ever^ descrip tion of Soft Hats now made. * Tbe Uuuluird and Old Fashioned Brush, con stantly on hand and made to order, all warrant ed (ogive satisfaction. . • Afullassoitment of I IE NTS, BOY'S, AND ’ CHILDREN’S, HATS. mive also added to my Slock; notions of differ ent kinds. consisting of LADIES’ AND GENTLEMEN’S STOCKINGS ,V«ve nee. Suspenders, Oiflar-i, Gloves, ' Pencils. ‘ Thread, ■ ■, Sewing Silk. Umbrellas, Ac I*lll ME BEGARS AND TOBACCO always on hand. mvo me a call, arid examine hiy stock ns I feel fonfldent of pleasing all, besides saving you mo- JOHN A. KELLER, Agent, No. 15 North Hanover Street. od. IS7O. JATS AND CAPS 1 ■ BO YOU WANT A NICE HAT 61l CAP 7 If so. Don’t Pail to Call on J. G. GALLIC, NO. 29. WJSS2 MAIN'STJI&ET, tVliere can be seen the finest assortment^/ - HATS AND GAPS aver brought to" Carlisle. Ho takes great pleas ure In Inviting his old friends and customers, ud all new ones, to hf« snloudld »topic Just ro dived from New York and PhllnuelnnlA, con ustlng in pate or fine . SILK AND CASSIMEBE HATS. sesldes an endless variety of Hals and Capa ol ,'Q6 latest style, all ot which ho will sell at the lowest Orth Prices. Also, his own manufacture Rata always on hand, and ■ ‘ w HATS MANUFACTURED TO ORDER. He has the best arrangement for coloring Hats md all kluaaofWooleu Goods, Overcoats, &o. f at tie shortest notice (as ho colors every week) and iQ the most reasonable terms. Also, a flue lot ol choice brands of. TOBACCO AND CIGARS Iways on hand. Ho desires tej call thoattontlon jf persons who have COUNTRY F U-RS Lsell.ns'ho pays the highest cash prices for lie lame. . ,•. ~ I Give him a call, at tho above number, bis fid Itand, aa he fools confident of giving entire sa .la ■action. I Oct.lb7o. sct. $' §. $ ■ ?• § I I ? AMES CAMPBELL, 1 IV. F. HENWOOI) AMPBELL& KENWOOD, PLUMBERS, jas and Steam fitters So. 18 North Honorer St., CARLISLE, PA. VIRTUES,' WATER CLOSETS. WASH BASINS, HYDRANTS, LIFT AND FORCE PUMPS, . CISTERN AND DEEP WELL PUMPS, I « GAS FIXTURES, IASSHADES AND GLOBES etc., &o. id,-Iron and Terra Cotta Pipe, CHIMNEY TOP 3 and FLEES, A li kinds ol brasswork Steam and ’Water constantly on band. DRK IN TOWN. OB COUNTRY promptly attended to. 3*l?nmedlate attention given to orders for terlal or work irom a dJstaneo.'-^Ea - • ping special advantaßeswo are prepared to rniah . - . . k I I | I’iill •P, 1, 70-1 v J TIONS WHOLESALE AT . [city prices, IoVES c6nHt aaHy on hnjwl-nuch as SUSPENDERS, NECKTIES and owa |IUT fronts; Cambric and t.lnon Hnndker pfo, L'inon and Paper Collars and - Curts, inmings Braids, Spool Cotton. \\ alietls Pbs Stationary, wrapping Paper and Paper Imigs, scans and Perfumery, Slice Black, |to Polish,lndigo, ScKarfl.'ctc., Ac. I ’ COYLK buOTHEna, B No, 21 Sooth Hanover street. Burch jjo, ]B7l—fim. Carlisle, I’n. I L; STERNER & 880., \VEH Y AND SALE STALLS, Ween ijanoveh and uuuFoitr stb.. THE REAR OF BENTZ HOUSIT, CARLISLE, PA. ? "'lug Btted up the Stable with new Corrl ■ «0., lam prepared-to furnlsn first-class *«uts, at reasonable rates. Parties taken to J}, 0 *? t bo spnnga *di jh, ih«:.~2y NECTAR is a pure Black Tea, w .Hti the Green Tea Flavor. Warranted to ft lt tastes. For sate everywhere. Aud for wholesale only by the Great Atlantic and iireaCo,, 8 Church St.,Now York. r. O. JsW. Send for Thoa Nectol Circular. ■« I,IStl-lt - Ol ICE.—Notice ia hereby given to a *l those who hn’ow themselves Indebted ? Carlisle and Hanover 'Jurnplho Co.,at Uaie iSu. 5, (near v.a> lisle,) to settle up their “ftta wfth eald Utile. belore the SOlhof June, hviso the- will be dealt with according, to wttjo and save coats. io i order ot lbo SE<iDKBTIUTOri * , . . • . . , . . , ~ . . • * . . . . ..... .. ~. ... . ~...... _ e , I , . . .. , . .' .' . . . . 1 • ..... ' ' I . .- 'r- .... _.....•, . .e t . •,, .. . . .I.' 1 . . : - 11. e . 4', . 1 • . . -, , , Init: 1"-"•' . , .. . .. .' . 1, , . . . . , . IN ' r.. . ~\\____ .. 1 1 ' ' 1 1 ' . <! If BRATTON & KENNEDY. pi ducal. TJOCF LAND’S 7 , ■ I GERMAN MEDICINES. Hoofhnd’s 'German Bites, Hpdftnrfs German Tonic Hoofand’s Podopfiyllin. Wand's Greek Oil. HoJjand’s German 'fitters. A JMerx without Alcohol or Spirits of any kind, It Is composed , of Is different from all others. the pue juices or vital principle of Roots. Herbs, and -Dirks (or ns medicinally termed, extracts), the worthless or Inert portions of the Ingredi ents nt being used.. Theicloref in one bottle of this Biters there Is contained ns much medici nal vlruo ps will be found In several gallons of ordlnay mixtures. The Rools, Ac., used in this Blttersne grown In Germany, their vital prim, clples octrnctcd in that country by a scientific ChdmlH and forwarded to the manufactory in "thlsclt.uwhfero thej'are compounded and bot tled. obtaining no spirituous Ingredients, this Bitters laree from the objections urged against all other; no desire for stimulants can be in duced inai their use. they cannot make drunk ards. ambnnnot, under any circumstances, have any but ibeneflclal effect, Hoofand’s German Tonic Was coiponndod for those not inclined to ex treme liters, and is intended for use In cases when Bine alcoholic stimulant Is required In connecDn with the Tonic properties or the Bit ters. ECU bottle of the Tonic contains one hot-. tie of te Bitters, corhbined with' pure Snnta- Cruy. Kui, and flavored In such a manner that the extime bitterness of the Bitters Is over-- come, fcmlng a preparation highly agreeable and plemnt to the palate, and containing the medlclnl virtues of the Bitters, 'ihe price of the Ton* Is Si 50 per bottle, which many poi sons Ihlk too high. They must lake Into con sldcrnUo that the stimulant used is guaranteed to be rii pure quality. A poor article could be furnhbd ata cheaper price, bulls It not better to paj/Ulttle more and have a good article? A medHml preparation should contain none but the Iwi Ingredients, and they who expect to obtaracheap compound vfrlli most certainly be cbeatd the greatest known Remedies t*vt~hrmi curil’Laiivt. dybPEPSTA. NEIV •VUS DEBILITY, JAUNDICE, DISEASE F THE KIDNEVTS, ERUPTIONS OP THE SKIN, and ail diseases aris ing from a Disordered Liver, Stomach,orlMPUHlTY OP T&E BLOOD. Heaie following symptom* Conlpatlon, Flatulence, Inward Piles, Full ness tßlood to the Head. Acidity of tho Stom ach, lueea. Heart-burn. Dlsgust.for Food, Ful ness ( Weight in the Stomach, sour Eruclft llons,Unking or- Fluttering at tho Pit of tho Storaib, Swimming of tho Head, Hurried or •Dlfilcu Breaihlngr Fluttering at the Heart, Choklr or Sufiocatlng Sensations when in a Lylngosture. Dimness of Vision. Dots or Webs heforcie Sight, Dull Pain In the Head, Deficien cy of irspirallon, Yellowness of tho Skin and Eyes, :in in tho Side, Back. Chest, Limbs, &o„ SaddeiFlushesof Heat, Burning In the Flesh, Consta. imaginings of Evil, ana Great Depres sion ofairlts. All these Indicate Disease of the Liver -Digestive Organs combined with 1m- P TUmu of tho BLttors or Tonic will soon cause the aba symptoms to‘disappear, and the pa tient w. ; ecome well and healthy. Di\ Toof land’s GreeJc Oil? LlghtivCure for all kinds of Pams ana jiatcs. APi*niiEx,TEttHAiA,Y.—lt will cure all kind of Pains id Aches, such as Rheumatism, Neu ralgia, Tlhaeho. Chilblains, sprains. Bruises Frost Bit Headaches. Pains in tho Back and Loins, Pm In the Joints or Limbs, Stings of Insects, igworm, etc. ; TAKENNTEKNAbLY.—Tt will cure Kidney Complain Backaches, Sick Headache, Cholic, rysentorDiarrhcca, Cnolera Infantum, Chole ra MorbrOramps and Pains in the Stomach, Fever onlguo, Coughs, Colds, Asthma, etc. Dr. hofland’s Podophyllin, OR SUHTUTE FOR MERC Y LS. Two Pills a Pose. The most ler/ul, vet Innocent Vegetable Cathartic known. It is not cessary to take a handful of these pills to prece the desired effect; uclqalokljul powerfully, c Tho Htoinncti.' l llowcla of nil l° principal iredlont 1b PodopliyUln, or tup A 1 coliollc Exclof Mandrake, willed “f {KlSCrako^eU. 0 ' e oK 0 a , ala 8 11 BpordllyfroqraU ob structlons,lth all the power, °/X®i free fronPt Injurious results attached to the US Fm* f ni^ £ dlLses, a iu which the uso of a cathar tic talnclloU. these Pills will give entire satis faction lb ay case. They never fail. ■ . In case {LiverOomplalnls, Dyspepsia, and extreme Dr* Hooflatufs German Bitters o' Ho BUould llo ,, ua , e^ r l Vho o l»a L era or with the ‘ID The tonic eflect of the Bitters or Tnnic bu dm the system. The Bitters or Ton- Jo purlff strengthens tho nerves. regulate: and gives strength, energy, a *Keei? luflowels active with the Pills, und tone up ofitom with Bitters or. Tonic, and no dlsea caretaln Ua hold, of evorassaU you. Ttwac Jdluea are sold by all Druggists auu TRSHooraiiira geu- MAN U 1 ;eiEB, lhataro so universally used and hlgi reoninonded; and do not allow the Drumtisl ) imeo you to take anything else SmHo iy% is Justus good, because he makes a fra profit on It. These Remedies will he 8' * bi’Sxpresa to any locality, upon ap piVcation o ti Principal o « m tho GERM A MEICINE STORE, «il ARCH ST, PHILAI LPEA. SI. Evans, Chs T ’ ■' C. M. JACKSON & CO. Forme! t&jysare for agio b'drujiglsts, store- Medicine dealers throughout the (■Canadas, south .America and the These r£ keeper B oj 'dulled S.°< ■West Jndi Dec, 1» U THE PIP HOMESTEAD. Ah I hero It is, that dear old place, ■ i Unchanged through all these years | How like sorao sweet, familiar face; ) My childhood’s homo appears! 1 . / Tho grand old trees bosldo the door ! Still spread their branches wide, ■ The river wanders as ofyoro, With sweetly murmuring tide; •* Tiro distant hills look green and gray. The flowers are blooming wild, And everything looks glad to-day, > when I was a child. * Regardless how the years have flown, How wondering I stand, I catch no fond, endearing lone. X clasp no friendly hand ; I think my mother's smile to meet, I list my father’s call, , ! I pause to hear ray brother’s feet Como bounding through iho hall; But silence all around me reigns, ; A chill creeps through my heatf— No trace of those I love remains,/ And tears unbidden start. i What though the sunbeams fall asjialr, What though the budding flowe/s Still shed their fragrance on the dr. Within life’s golden hours? ' The loving ones tbat clustered hate These walls may not restore? Voices that filled my youlhlul ear Will greet my soul no moref 1 And yet I quit the dear old place With slow and lingering tmd. As when wo kiss a clay-cold face, And leave It with the dead. Il&ccllaitcrag. THE FARMER’S PRDTEOE. Old fanner Kingston’s, wife raised her bands in breathless wonder, and her cap frills shook excitedly. ‘Land o’ massey,.Reuben, what have you got there?’ ‘A ba(£y, mum,’ said Reuben Kingston, quietly. ‘A baby, wa-al, of alt the world I A baby! Did I ever? What are you going to do with it?’ ‘Keep it.’ f ». ’Naow, Reuben, you iniowcd better.— I’ve raised my seven children ’ ’Then you’ll know.'better bow to care for this,one, mother.,' Besides, since Jane married, and went away from very lonely here.’ , The farmer’s voice was quivering,* and for a moment his wife seemed thinking of something far away. The cooing of the baby soon recalled her. ’And X did raaly.hope that I ahouidglt a little rest now they are gone,’ she said, finishing her sentence, as if there had not, been an interruption. ‘Well, mother, you are lonesome, arter all—’specially when I’m away, now aiut you ?’ Farmer Kingston asked, persua sively! , ‘Sposin I am—it’s natural.’ ‘I know it—and the baby will be good company,’he cried, triumphantly. ’Wa-al,I never I I s’pose you think thatsettles it,’ said Mrs. Kingston, seeing now Hie trap prepared for her. Precious company a haby’d he, I must say—crying all the time—and ! ’Then I’ll take It to the work house, will I?’ asked the farmer, with .a merry. !».!<■ .--p-«*•--- - ——*” ‘No you wont 1 lam not quite a hea then, Reuben Kingston; and It you don’t shet up about the work house, I’ll—l don’t know what I’ll do, you monster!’ The farmer laughed; ho understood the moods and tenses. ‘Tlieri you’ll keep it?’ ‘Harlinly X will.' You’ve lived with me nigh forty years, and you ought to know by this time that I Wouldn’t turn a dog from my door ltk« that—let alone a hu man bein’.’ So it was settled ; the baby bad found a homo. Mrs. Kingston was a motherly body, and the' moment 'she decided to adopt the little waif, she Went to work to mako .it comfortable according to iler ideas, and that comprises all that could be meant by a good home for it. The baby was pretty; eyes of blue, and rose bud lips, and pretty little cheeks, just pink enough for beauty. And more Hum all, the sweetest temper that ever a baby bad—the veriest baby-hater in the world could not have failed to fall in love with It at sight. Mrs. Kingston, who was not a baby hater, went into raptures ‘Sioh a baby—l never sted the beat of it,’ she exclaimed. 'Puttier thah posies, and gpod nntured na tha-doy is long. I wish my children had been half so good when they were leetle, 'twould ha’ saved a world o’ trouble.' 'Why wasn't your children good ones, mother ?’ asked Parmer Kingston,, rue fully, ■ I ‘Yes, they was putty good, but that ain't it. They warn’t like this one, and I don’t believe there ever was one like it.’ The farmer smiled and said no more. Of course It was a girl, or else It never coultUmve been so very good. The subject of a name came up at Jast, ond Farmer Kingston, who had been content with the homely names of Jane and Betsey for his own daughters, now grew roman tic, and Insisted that It should bo known as Cora. , ■ __ r ‘Wa-al, I never!’ said his wife. ‘We did not give our daughters highfalutin names ; but Cora’s putty, an*, I suppose you’ll have to have your own way. The baby grew and thrieved. Day by day it grew more beautilul* and when it got to run alone , and talk, and all that, they almost worshipped It. The little Cora was in danger of being spoiled,. Then came an evil day for Farmer Kingston. Some day, he never copld tell how, old Jonas Nichols, Wie usurer, bad got a mortgage on his place, and qu»ck to grasp the property of those who let him* once get hold, he fouudh flaw Hi the doc ument which gave; hlW> opportunity for a foreclosure. Farmer jClngstoo was at once notified, aiid told that he could have a month to pay it In. Unless he raised the money in that time, lie might prepare to vacate. ! ... ‘What shall we do?' he groaned help lessly, after he told his wife the story. ‘Why, make the bcst;of it, I ’sposo.- ‘We’re used to. work, and hard work, ■Reuben; and though we’re gltUn ruther old, I guess we’ll make our liven jit,-" Hope alwoys fof the beat, and not the wust—the wust comes fast enough with out hopin’. . , A ..... > *1 know it, mother; but little Cora, said Farmer Kingston, with a sob. ‘O, little Coral Why, she’ll go to the work house, of course,’ Bald Mrs. Kings ton, coldly. . , . . , The farmer gasped, but the next instant his wife had stooped and taken the little Cora from the floor, and was bugging mid kissing her, and skying: ‘No, they shan’t neflfaer, shall they, poor dear ! They wouldn't send her to the work house for a lon of gold ; and ,while they have a roof to shelter them, the blessed darling shades it with ’em. •Dont ty, dammß,fj|ißpod the child; In pretty babyish tones. 4 l}ontty—Tou loves 00. ’ i 1 But Mra. Klugalon only cried the more; and with a choakiugj sensation in b|s throat, the old larmW hurried out to the barn, to do chores. Neither alluded to that subject again. , , By and by the month of ‘ grace’ had slipped away, and then the mortgage was foreclosed, ond they wore warned to leave the premises. The farmer succeeded In finding a little cottage Just about a mile away, and alter a sad and painful leaver taking,i the kind «ld couple left thelf home, expecting never to return. Coro, the little waif, went with them, aud l>y her winning ways and baby prat tle, did; much lowurj the;alleviation of their sorrow. Aiid lheu, ae though the measure of their anguish wao not yet complete, the days grew darker still. The farmer out his foot seriously while Chop- Proprietor. poetical. CARLISLE, PA., THID|tSJDAY, JUNE 8. 1871. ping in the woods, and be was laid up for tbe winter. ' ‘"\Vbat can we do?’ he said, aS'he.lay helplessly upon bis pillow. ‘I cannot work for months, and you-and Cora. 1 — He turned hisface away from those he loved, and closed his eyes. Perhaps he prayed. ■ ' , 'God is good,’said Mrs. Kingston, 1 solemnly. 'There will bo some ,way yet; wealntagoln' to starve.’ ■ But it looked very, very dark; They .had neither food nor fuel stored, nor had money to purchase .with, and blfiak De cembeE's.cuttlng winds were filled with prophecy Even Mrp. Kingston seemed about to give up hope. One’day she sat cOuyeralng_jvjth_.het- TruiliantT,' a'mTlit'tioCbfa' play ing on the floor beside her,, when suddenly there came a sharp and eager rap .upon the door. ' .‘There mother,,some one’s knocking!’ said Farmer Kingston, uneasily. *1 heard it, Reuben,’ she replied, read ing his thoughts,. ‘I s'pose it is the doc tor wantin’ his.pay, but p’raps he won’t be hard upon us, after all. I hopa* eor leastwise—tho laud sakes!' For before the reached the door, it was Hung wide open, and a hand some stranger, who caught little Cpra up, and straightway began caressing her, and calling her his sweet lost darling. ‘Wa-al, I never! Naow, stronger; :who be ye any way?’ she cried, after she had sufficient time to catch her breath. Then he told his story. He was a city merchant, he Informed them, and Cora was his only-child, her mother dying when she was only three days old. He then had put her to nurse, and the nurse having received her pay in advance, had run away, and had left the child in a‘llt fle basket by the wayside—where Reuben Kingston found It. ‘ The father had been nearly distracted when first he leariied his loss, butafter the first grief was over, he had set himself to work uhllriugly to find her. Link by link the chain was put together, till now he stood there with evidence complete that little Cora, was bis daughter. /, ‘You seem to be quite poor,’ he said looking, hurriedly about the room. Then of course they told the story of the mortgage, not with any thought of, asking help, but only that he might know ■ that they were not always'poor* ‘How much Is the-place worth?’ be asked. ■ *1 mean how much could you purchase It for?’ . . ‘A thousand dollars,’ was the answer, He took a piece of pnperfrom his pock etbook, wrote something on it, then fold ed It within his hand. ‘Will you keep Cora still. I mean if I will pay lier board, and let me come to see her occasionally ?’ he asked.' ‘We’d gladly keep her for nothing,’ said Mrs. Kingston, sadly, ‘if we were only at our own home. As it is, we’ll have to take whatever you will give. l He slipped the folded paper into her hand. > . ‘I cannot make a long slay at present,’ he said. ‘I shall come again one month from now; perhaps you will have moved ere that.’ After kissing Cora once more, he left the room abruptly. . ‘Did 1 ever!’ cried Mrs. Kingston, her cap frills shaking far more violently than was recorded in the opening of this story. ‘Five thousand dollars! as I’m a living sinner, and thanking us besides— Wa-al, .1 never seed the beat on’t, but Reuben, heres the cheek.’ - So the baby brought a blessing In more ways than one. HUFNABLE’B EUPHAHT. The following we find iu a New York paper, blit cannotsny where it originated: M!r. Hufuagle purchased an elephant iu India, and brought it home under the cate of a native keeper. The design was to teach him to do farm work. When the animal arrived, it was ascertained that he could not, or would not, do such labor, and so he was put in the stable of a country tavern, near New Hope, where he epnsumrd enough sustenance,to bank rupt a man of ordinary .wealth. ‘ One day Ids keeper died suddenly, and nobody else knowing how to manage the elephant, it was found impossible to get him outof the stable. The landlord raved and swore, and tore his hair about it, but there that elephant stuck, with the man ifest intention of slaying till the day of judgment,' and of battering down the stable, unless he was fed. At last the landlord said the elephant must be got rid of somehow or. other, If be bad to be blown through thereof with gunpowder. So an effort was made to sell him, and a menagerie man was induced to buy him for two thousand dollars;— This man determined to bring that ele phant right along with strategy. He got a car on tile railroad track near by, anil, after fixing a bridge to it,he lined the, floor with a bushel or two of apples,,gint gerbread, oranges, etc. Then ie made’s regular pathway of apples and cakes all the way from the sla.bla to the ear. It, cost him two , hundred dollars for bait.i The "elephant followed the" trail slowly, eating it up clean as he went. He went! up on the platform over the bridge, and got his fora feet in the car, with his hind legs still on tha bridge, and he gorging himself all thw time. The menagerie man stood there, expecting every minute he would go clear into Ibe cdr, and finish the thing up; but instead of this, the miserable beast deliberately stood still, and with his trunk reached (ill over the car, and ate every solitary thing In it.— Then be turned and swooped down the road at the rate of twelve miles an hour. The landlord, meanwhile, was so glad to get rid of the beast, that he asked in alt bauds to take something in honor of the event. The party were just putting their glasses to their lips, when a smash was heard at the barn-yard gate, and a thun dering crash indicated the stable door was knocked into diminutive fliuders.— The crowd rushed out, and there was that very same elephant in the very same old place I The landlord was so mad that he could not smear with sufficient vigor to satisfy his feelings; so he got the crowd to listen to him while he read sixteen.chapters of Horace Greeley’s‘‘Table Talk” out loud. This relieved him for the moment, but the next morning Hiifnagle’s elephant was foußd- dead, and there was thought to bo some connection between this cir cumstanoe anti the fact that the landlord was seen rolling a barrel of rat poison up an adjacent hIU upon the previous night. His Motheii.— Mr. Ferris Married in early manhood a grim old lady, twice his age. As years went by, his ancient flame grew wrinkled and savage, and Mr. Fer ris mourned the hour he first a wooiug went. At last he met a pretty, jolly little widow down town. Both found In the other a mutual affinity, and they loved fondly, extravagantly Incessantly. At lost whispers of the way things were goingon began to reach the aged matron's ears. Although too old to love, her heart burned fiercely with the pangs of jea lousy. She employed spies and detectives,, and watched herself. Finally she burst la upon them, and a free Ughtensued. An arrest was the consequence. Arraigned before the magistrate, the aged wife made an attempt to explain the difficulty. ; • •But said the Recorder, ‘yon Intruded on them.' •Yes,’ Interposed Mr. Ferris, <she burst with loud screams and Indlan-llke yells Into our presence; She’s crazy.’ ‘What! screamed the virago, ‘dp you call me, your wife, crazy?' ■There, now I’ exclaimed Mr, Ferris, with an air of triumph, ,‘l told you she was crazy. She thinks I’m her husbpnd,’ Mrs. F.'wobAPo confourided to speak, .‘She’s your mother, ain't she?’ 1 , ‘Certainly,’ replied the hard-hearted FCrris: and before anything further could be said, the court dismissed the case. A newly married man complains -of the high price of "ducks.” He says his wife recently paid for three of them—a duck of A bonnet, a duck of a dress, and a duck of a parasol. Ho says such ‘deal ings in poultry will ruin him.’ 0 The following little story, with Us moral, tho’ written for the Macon (Georgia) Telegraph, is quit© too good to be enjoyed by the farmers of tho South alone: I know a man, he lived In Jones, , s Which Jones Is a county of red hills and stones, And ho lived pretty much by getting of load!?, And hfs mules wore nothing but shin and bones, And his hogs wore flat ns his corn broad pones, And ho had ’bout a thousand acres ©Hand. This man—and his name was also Jones— Ho swore that ho’.d leave them old red hills and stones, For ho couldn’t make nothing but yelfowlsl cotton, * "And'Uttlo'ofthhtvlbrhl3'fetfc§a were roUen’,* ~ And what little cotton lie had, was boughten. And he couldn’t got a living from tho land. And tho longer ho swore tho madder ho got, . Add ho rose and hO walked to tho stab.o lot, And ho hallooed to Tom to come there and hitch, For to emigrate somewhere whore tho land was rich, Andxo quit raising cock-burs, thistles, and alch, And wasting their time on barren land. So him nud Tom they hitched up their mules, Protesting that folks were,mighty hlg fools That ’ud slay In Georgia their lifetime out, Jest scratching a living, when all of thorn mought Get places in Texas where cotton would sprout, By tho time you could plant It In tho land. Aud ho drove by a house where a mau named Brown r Was living, not far from the edge of the town, And ho bantered Brown for to buy bis place, And said that seeing as sheriffs were hard to face, •* Two dollars an acre would get the land. They closed at a dollar aud fifty cents, And Jones bo bought him a wagon and tents, And loaded bis corn,and bib women, and truck, And moved to Texas which-It took His entire pile, with tho bes£ of luck, ‘ To get thero and get him n little land. ' But Brown moved out on tho old Jones larm, And ho rolcd up his breeches and hared ills arm, And bo nicked all the rocks from off the ground, And ho rooted It up aud ploughed it down, And sowed his corn and wheat In the land, Five years gild by, and Brown, one’ day, (Who got so fat thatho wouldn’t weigh,) Was a silting down, softer lazily, To the bulllcst dinner you ever see, AVlion one,of his children jumped up on his knee . And says, “ yau’s Jones, which you bought his land.” And there >vas Jones, standing out at the fence, Ami he hadn’t hO’Tvagon, nor mules, nor tents, For he had left Texas afoot and come To Georgia tosce if ho couldn’t get some Employment, and ho was lookiug ns humble As ii ho had never owned any laud; But Brown ho asked him In, mid lie sot Him down tohls victuals smoking hot, And when he had filled himself and the floor, Brown locked at him sharp and rcyd and swore That,‘‘whether men’s land was rich or poor. There was mote In the man than there was in. the land.” HUNTING THE BUFFALO. At present hunting buffalo for market bas;beoome a regular trade, and all along the-routa qf the railroad the business is carried on. A party generally consists of four persons, at the outside six, With one hea.il hunter, who employs tlimmen, and Willi always has a wnaon. withats tosm nf rmiiji-zaaimii„ .pomes; 'Tito bun tors or«; of course admirable shots, and rarely, if evdr, is more than one shotused. Said our informant, “One shot behind theshoul deralmost always brings them down : so many shots, sq many buffaloes.'* They woald laugh at any one w£o would shoot twjce. Their guns, their only extrava gance, are as perfect as can be, always breech loaders; in fact the only heavy, muzzle loader is becoming obsolete. The herd is neared in such a way that the’ wind shall come from the animal to the party. They 'can be appitiached readily within a mile with, the tedjm. The men then commence a still hunt. Hunting them on horseback is fun. but It is not successful. It requires gnat skill and patience to stalk them. , , { People who have never! been on the plains have a false idea of what prairie grass is. In Illinois the grass is as high as your middle, but on the prairie, where the Buffalo feeds, the grass he lives off is hardly two inches high. It is not very green save in early sprlng—raostiy, it is of a russet brown, but always tender. All kinds of tame stock eat it. and they Improve on it wonderfully. Snow does not hurt it; the hunters even think the Buffalo fatten most when the grass has Jbeen covered by snow. The herd is in variably guarded by somch two or , .old hulls, who are very watchful. They ‘ will feed awhile, then stop; Aniff the air, look anxiously around, and, If seeing nothing to excite them, will recommence (ilelr feeding. The cows and calves are always in the middle of the flock. The men, dragging themselves on the ground, approach to within a very long range, and, selecting those indicated, one shot .always does the bnMneas. 1‘ To shoot at the head of a bull is but to Waste ammunition; be does not mind it any more than he does a fly. You might khoot all the lead in Galena there, and uo would.never notice it. If care is taken, you may kill a large number in the same fierd, providing you leave .the calves be, qr do not shoot u cow with a calf: this generally makes them uneasy, ana they may scamper off It is no uncommon tiling« for a good set of men to kill and bung in a load of twelve hind-quarters, toTaverago. 212 pounds each, in a day.— Tie hunters aro a brave, wild set, true friitiersmen, making their money very eaaly, and spending It freely. Often the paiof a month will be gambled away In baa an hour's time. Cards and whisky areuheir only amusement. ' Their pay is .aboitsso a mouth. . [E Leech.— Recent observations on lomparative anatomy bf this little hi have made known to us thatjust ill its mouth it Is furnished with a little jaws, triangularly arranged, tali side of which are inserted a row >it minute sharp pointed teeth, much nfcllng the teeth of a saw. Each jaw ia appropriate musuoujar apparatus lapecullar action and; thus is ex ile! the constant shape of the wound rvjd after the application of this very ullnimal. la no charm in the female sex supply the placed of modesty, innocence, beauty Is unlovely, ity contemptible,"gbod breeding les into wnotonness, and wit. Idence. It is observed that all In are represented by painters Aries under female forms; but Ikem have a more,'partloulur tl- Utex it is modesty.; Titßte that cii i Withoil 1 and quiSt degCuerti into irani the virus and statil if any of I tie to thal Tub Brooklyn I'imes suuimiug up the virtues.bf asoap-boiler, lately deceased, concluded \ls elegy with’ the usual phrase : ‘Pace to his aahesi’ The next day the, eater was waited upon by a •friend ofthl family,’ wbo threatened to 'pound .Humor out of him’ unless he made’n rotaqlon. His reference to his friend’s ahea\hoy look upon as a per sonal 'reftctlob, and whaFe more, they mean to feat it as such. Any nn(y tarnish the reputation of an individual however pure add chaste, by utterimj I.suspicion, which his enemies will belioc and bis friends hear of. A puff of lee wind can take Jup a million of the seen of the thistle, and do a work of mlsahle' which the husbandman must labor longmd hard to undo) the flaming particles b|ng too light to IjC slopped. A SAlpoiilooklng serious!ln a chapel jn Boston, raa asked by a clergyman if ne felt ’ ntr change? Whereupon the tar put hiaband In his pocket, and re plied that *» hadn't got a cent. “ JOHES." Tho undersigned present to their con [stltuentsnnd lothe pebpleof tbe common [wealth this statement of facts lu relation to tho Philadelphia registry law, lu tbe hope and with the bcliefthatit will arouse attention to tho palpable violation of tho right of a InTge number of our fellow cit izens to a voice in.the selection of their election.officers; to the opportunities for [fraud, corruption and forged . returns It {affords; to the incitement to violence and [bloodshed itcontalns.and to the desperate |iPhflraotenof,thQ.meu.who perpetuate their (own power by these means despite the [.wishes and the. ballots of a majority of (the people of that city. If Tho act of assembly known as the regis | try law was passed on the 19th day- of April, 1869. The provisions thereof appll -1 cable, to the the rural districts are essen tially different from those applicable to the city of Philadelphia. An entirely dif (ferentsystemwascreated therefor. Under the latter the board of aldermen or justi ces of the peace for that city were vested .with power to select three canvassers for each election district therein, whose ty was to make outthellstsof voters, and who had power conferred upon them to strike from said lists or add thereto at jtheir pleasure, and such action was to bo (finalaudcould not beappealed from. The board of aldermen also appoints the offi cers to hold the elections in each election ■division,and by thelaw they were directed 'to appoint the judge, one inspector and one return InapectoV from the political party which polled the-mnjority of legal votes l i\ the election division at the next preceding general election, and on© in spector and one return inspector from the political -party which polled the next highest number of votes at such election. - It will thus be seen that this Jaw for Philadelphia took from the people of each election division therein the right to se-. lect their own election officers, and vest ed It in a tribunal whose duties under the constitution and laws have no rela tion to that subject. Under the registry law for the rural districts tho assessors fleeted by tbo people make out tho can* yass lists and complete, the registry, and (he people themselves choose, their elec tion officers in, each election district. iTho law for Philadelphia is therefore directly in conflict, upon these two im portant points, with the law for the other parts of the slate: It is, in this, destruc tive of the vital principle of local self government. and tramples on a right which has como to bo recognized as a fundamental American principle. Why weie these great powers taken from the people of each division and vested in the board of aldermen ? The answer is found in the fact that that board was partisan. i|n its character, and could bo depended upon to exercise its authority In the In terests of a corrupt lique. | -The majority of the board of aldermen constitute the board, and .that majority lias power to appoint all of the election officers, as well as those to which the minority are entitled as those of the ma- I jority, yet at the organization of that Aboard in ISG9. its members by solemn ;resolution at the suggestion of the court, .gave to the minority of the board the right to choose the minority of the elec tion .officers. In this they acted justly land tacitly admitted the injustice of this igrossly-partisan law. This act of fairness ihas oeeu rescinded by the action of the iboard, and the republican majority now., ianpoint a m°j o * ll x 4fc^rciirt-r»3s«rd,.t}i6' UJmubUcim ©lection officers and the dem ocratic election, officers. Under the dic tation of corrupt and desperate men this power has grown to be a most fruitful -source of impurity in the elections of Hen are appointed as can jvassers who know no law .and recognize no system of mortils, but the success of their party and the attainment of their own selfish ends and those of their de signing leaders. They,’without heslta .lion strike from the registry lists the : Dames of voters who are duly qualified, and add thereto the names of- those who have no shadow 61 right to vote* * JVb legal power exists to prevent these infamous, wrongs. One member of the legislature bolds his place to-day because the names of one hundred andforty-eight legal voters of his district were struck from the registry without authority of law and for purely partisan purposes. In tne selection of election officers the board of aldermen take especial care to choose astute and unscrupulous republi cans who will do the bidding of their 1 party friends, and almost invariably se lect illiterate, weak or corruptible men as democratic election officers. In many cases, indeed, they violate tho plain let ter of the law by appointing republicans instead of democrats.. One of the officers oi tbo recent republican state convention' was a man who had been appointed and bad acted ns a "democratic” election offi cer at the last election 1! By the election of shrewd and unscrupulous men upon one side and of incompetent or corrupti ble men upon the other the door to fraud and wrong is widely opened nud the pur ity of the ballot is utterly destroyed. Such has now come to be the case iu the o)ty of Philadelphia and the voice of her people is stifled by the wiles and ma chinations of lawless men acting under the forms of an unjust statute. Canvass lists are ‘doctored;’ ballot-boxes are stuff ed; returns arealteVed, forged and mani pulated, and fraud and violence in their worst forms are reported to In order to maintain tbo political supremacy of des perate and evil men. The true remedy for these wrongs con sists In restoring to the people the rights taken from them andinmaking the gen eral law applicable to the city of Philadel phia. We were powerless to effect this In. the present condition- of the legisla ture, and we have sought so to amend the law rs in,some degree to lessen the fvils now so glaring. Thei-measures We have again and again during this session proposed to the republicans forennctment and which have been invariably rejected by them, are three in number. First. That the minority of the board of aldermen shall have the right to select their due proportion of tho election offi cers for each election division. Second. That the Judges of .the court of common pleas shall have the right to su pervise the'action of the canvassers'in making npthe registry list and to restore the name of any legal voter improperly left off, and to strike ofl the names of any improperly placed thereon. Third. That the board of return judges shall meet to count the returns of elec tion in the presence ot the aforesaid Judges who shall have power summarily to prevent fraudulent returns from being counted and to determine any question arising therein. These provisions are so eminently just and proper that the newspaper press of Philadelphia without distinction of party has approved them, and we append ex tracts therefrom showing this fact.— Beading members of the republican party in the house of representatives have unqualifiedly endorsed them, but have been compelled by a party caucus to vote against them and prevent their enactment. 'Vhe Press, of Philadelphia, in-an arti cle on the 'proposed amendment of tbo registry law, April 28, 1871, said: "To the proposition to have the return judges meet In the presence of the judges of the court of common pleas, we have objection, save that tbo provisions of the law ns regards their meetings is per fectly satisfactory ns it stands,” Tile Philadelphia ‘Evening Bulletin April 27, 1871, saye: "The other amendment requires that the vote shall bo counted in the presence of the court of common pleas. last amendment,” The Philadelphia Post of January 20, 1871, said: ‘‘Any one who will succeed in devising a plan by which the usual scenes of violence and disorder which have attended these meetings for same years past wlll.be precluded, will do Philadelphia an Incalculable service, and I ADDRESS OF THE MEMBERS OE THE To the People of Pennsylvania. "Now there Is no objection to tlilp / VOL 57.—N0. 52. deserve the gratitude of the people. The annual meetings of the return Judges have become to bo regarded with as much apprehension by peaceably disposed peo ple as would be a pitched, battle,, They have been arenas of carnage, rather than an assemblage of a judicial character, and rioting and fatal casnallties have been the natural concomitants. These may not be Incidental"to the system, but the fact remains that they seem to bo a part of it, and public morality and pub ,lio security demand a radical change." •The Philadelphia livening Jhitletin of May 11, 1871, said: "The amendments to the registry law are few, simple and, so ,far.aa?,wocaivsee l -entirels'falrrThey are" precisely what the republican party would demand if there was a democratic majority In our board of There can be no better test than this,' They provide that the minority shall elect their proportion of the election offi cers, with a reserved power to strike off the names of bad men when they are presented. And they also provide that the vote shall be counted in the presence of the court of common pleas. What he arguments are that forbid the accep ance of these amendments we do not know : and we have such faith in the es sential political virtue of the mass of vo ters of Philadelphia that Jwo believe the theywould be cheerfully accepted by re publicans as well as democrats.”. The Philadelphia Inquirer of May 5, 1871, said: “We believe these amend- ments to the registry law are necessary ; because be believe that under otlr form of government the minority have equal rights with the majority. Certainly, it is not honest for the republicans to ap point republicans or luko-warm demo crats to represent the democrats as elec tion officers. Again, when it is remem bered how, for years past, each meeting of the return judges has beetl the occa sion of fraud, riot or murder, no one who desires an honest election, a peaceful re turn of votes, or who detests riot of mur der, can object to the return judges deco rously meeting fh the court room, subject to the wisdom, dignity and Integrity of the judges of the common pleas. ‘lt is sheer folly or patent mendacity to allege that either of these amendments are capable of assisting frauds upon the ■ ballot box. Clearly they are meant to prevent fraud, and to make elections what every lover of his country desires they shall be—fair and honest. If they have no other intent, it cannot be found in the language in which the'y are fram ed; and for ourselves we are satisfied to grant to the democracy all that the amendments above suggested- demand.” The Public Ledgerot May 25,1871, said: "There is no fair man of any party in Philadelphia opposed to snob amend , ments to our registry law as will make it conform to the principles of the general election laws of the state, and make it just and equal in Us operation.- Of the four principal points in tho bill-passed by the senate on the last named subject, at least two have been shown to be in dispensable in the hearing of election cases before the court of common pleas. The forging of election returns has not only come to be a system, but the count ing of these false returns by the return, judges', with full knowledge that they are fraudulent, has grown tb be the practice. Appeals to the court of common picas have thus far failed to provide a remedy or redress for this great and dangerous wrong—great because; it disfranchises thousands upon thousands of voters, and . dangerous because it has already led to iho mutilation and robbery of the records - of 'Our courts, to riot, bloodshed nod slaughter in the supreme court room of the state, and may lead to disasters far worse, bad as those mentioned are. False returns have been counted in by there-’ turnjudges, which the Judges ofthe com mon pleas have pronounced palpable for geries 6e/orcthey were counted, nccompa nying their denunolations;with|tlie state ment that they ought not to be counted. So manifestly fair and essential Is this amendment, that not one journal of any party in Philadelphia has oppossed it On the contrary, it has been favored by nearly all of them—republican, demo cratic and independent. Indeed there has been no opposition to it from any quarter, except that which has been stimulated by candidates for office, who know themselves to bo objectionable and unpopular, and-whose only hope is that which is based upon false returns. Had these men and their adherents kept away from Harrisburg, this Just law would have been passed weeks ago, for a majority of tho legislature being com posed of just and honorable men, a ma jority was in favor of its passage.” Upon the question to indefinitely post pone tho senate amendments by tho house —which amendments were thethree pro positions specified—oh May lb, 1871. Mr. Elliott said : I desire to state lhat I. vole upon this question in accordance with the views of my political ossociates. I therefore vote aye. ■ Mr. Munu said : Upon this question I vote In accordance with the judgment of my political associates and against my own. I therefore vote "aye.” Mr. Miller, of Philadelphia, fu ac cordance with the instructions of. the republican caucus and against my own convictions of right, I vote "aye.” These amendments were indefinitely postponed by a strict party vote—47 to 11 —except that Wm. P. Smith, of Phila delphia voted with the democrats. IVe have labored during this entire session to bring about this .much-needed reform— because we have felt that It would raeas-' urably restore the purity of the ballot box in Philadelphia, that it would aid in, preventing false personations and frauds upon the registry, that It would prevent the fraudulent.countingand false returns of votes, and that the restraining power of a Judicial tribunal would prevent the recurrence of scenes of riot, bloodshed and murder heretofore occurring at tile I meeting of the board of return We have failed in the attain these Just ends, and wo now ueli/”?™ 1 charge that the republican orei^. ut ;?, n in obedience to a party caucif^ f 7SJ|Y , ~ ed by a ring of Pl l ilac le homi a s 1 has prevented these necesjC*,/ f 1 2' !iSSiSWds,”s: W™ A. Wallace/ Chas. M Uuclralew a « eP Edwin Albright, AT W. M. Bandall, S' i/' 7 ? r 'V/ rr ’ Calvin M. Duncan, S’. Jesse W.. Knight, fJier, David A. Nagle, S’ “Jm Petrikiu, A, A. Purman, Turner, T. B Scbnallerly, W. Horace Bose, ■G. Hall, [Noyes, John! A. 0. Jame Geo. S Geo. P Bills, 3. J- C. Harvey, I .Skinner, J. B. Mooney, Go wan, Samuel Josephs, I Quigley, Isaac Hereter, Ltney, A. T. C. Keffer, Schwartz, John A.'Conrad, Darrah, Wesley B. Leonard, IMeek, Edmund Eugllah, Villiams, Thomas Cbalfant, TLeidlg, Tyron Lewis, J’Comiell, Henry J. M’Ateer,. mi Rnher, Herman M. Fetter, loan, . Samuel Wilson, minings. Win. Young, [oolevef, Stephen W. Keeue, Ci Harvey, Oliver G. Morris, IBolleau, David Eogleman, inlgpmery, D. B.Mllltken, Steele, Francis M’Keon, „ Wells, Frank Ji Magee, Jlosa, \ v Members of the Jloime. Geo. / G. B- i H. H. Samue P. Gra; D. D. { John B- Kob't M Abrahal H.K.S John Ct Adam V John Jjj Saruuell Bobt Ml J. Irvlß David jj Lemuor little four-year old remarked to I on going to bed, ‘I am not afraid |ark,’ ‘No of course you are uot,’ her ma, ‘for it can’t hurt you.' — tuna, I was tt little afraid once, Went In the pantry.lu the dark piece of pie. ‘What were you ' asked her mama. ’I was afraid And the pie.’ OUBJ her mal, of the (I replied i 'But, mi when If to get ul afraid oi , I couldn’ '-'k.- Hates for AnvsßTisxHsirts win ho inserted at Ten Cent per lino tbr the first'lnsertion, and five cent per lino for each subsequent insertion. Qunr erly half-yearly, and yearly advertisement a in erted at n liberal redaction on the above rates Advertisements ehonld. bo accompanied by the Cash. When sent wlthont any length of timh specified for publication, they wilt ho continued dn UI ordered ont and onarged nccbMlngly.. JOB PRINTING, UAP.m., HANi)r.n,i.9, OiuC’UI.ARS, and every other cr description of Jon and Card Printing. - OP CERTAIN MEMBERS OP THE HOUSE, FOR SUPPORTING THE APPROPRIATION JIII.L. The undersigned members from the border counties interested in the question ,of claims for war damages, respectfully submit their reasons for supporting the general appropriation bill, with a special appropriation therein to the citizens of Chamheraburg who auflercd hy the raid of MoCausland In 1804. , We believe that nil the.extraordinary losses sustained by our .constituents dur ing thpwflc,ahautd.l)o-paid r ,and..thatthe —■ citizens of the State can look only to. the - Commonwealth either for payment or to eniorco payment by the General Govern ment. We believe that it is the duty of the State to make an adjuolation and a proper adjustment of all these claims as the tlrat alop toward an adjustment of them by the General Gover nm ept, : and ,to effect that i'csult’we nave earnestly labored during the present session. We base the claims of onr constituents not upon the favor or generosity of the. State, but regard their liquidation by the State as a matter involving the obligations and honor of the Commonwealth. Notwithstanding their untiring efforts tb effect such legislation as we believe to be dueourconsiituents, we had to submit to an adverse majority in the lower branch of the Legislature. The House indefi nitely postponed the bill looking to the liquidation of the claims, and refused to reconsider the vole. This action precluded the possibility of presenting again for the consideration of the House tho question so vltaf to our constituents, and we . were compelled to abandon the effort. Subsequently the Senate made a special appropriation to the sufferers of Cham bersburg, and wo were compelled either to vote for an apparently invidious recog nition of a portion of their'claims, or deny to the citizens of Chamboisburg an ’appropriatiolj. As it was Impossible under the rules, after the defeat of the general bill, to make the appropriation general, and as the citizens of Chambprsburg have suffered much more seriously as a com munity than any other comraunity.in the border counties, we foltit to bo 6Ur duty to support the appropriation. Should tho General Government repay the advance ments made by the State on these claims, as is confidently expected will he done during the next session of Congress, the. section making the present appropriation to Ohamhersburg expressly appropriates half a million of the money to be refun ded to tho claims in the border counties outside of Chambersburg, thus depriving those claims to Cbambcrsburg. Having faithfully disobarged our duty In this somewhat bitter struggle, to the best of our ability, we confidently submit our action to our constituents, relying upon their generous favor to Sustain us (Signed) Isaac Heueter, Lemuee Boss, John B. Leidio, 8. F. WISIIAHT,. . D. B. Mieltkbn, Frank J. Maoee,, Member's from the Border Counties.' A Crapty fellow—tho sailor. Sonci of the billiard ball—(Ob, carom mo back!’ A poor washerwoman says while there's life there's soap- . . To' mate bollvonds meet, have the butcher take out the bone. It is not generally known that Othello was a member of the bar. He was a tawney general of Venice.. A Maine lumberman; first loved his ‘Abbegli,’ on aacount of her ‘spruce di mensions.’ A Parisian editor says ha never dot ted an i but once iu his life, and that was in a fight with a contemporary. An editor who served four days on a he’s so full of law that it is bard to keep from cheating somebody. To think that you can make pork out of pig-iron, or that you can become a shoemaker by drinking sherry cobblers. Why does the gorilla prefer the tropics to any other part of the world ? Because it is the only place he can call his zone. The poor Indians are becoming civil ized. Five of the wives of Cnt-over-the- Top, chief of a Kansas tribe, have applied for a divorce. ' A fool In o high station is like a man on the top of a high mountain— every thing appsars small to hi'm, and lie ap pears small to everybody. TBebe are constant improvements in those palace cars for hogs on Western railroads.' On some of them’a imnruow: goes, or will soon; to fan the hogs. ‘Well, Pat, why don’t you put up your umbrella?’ Because, yet honor, the rain ud spile it, an’ so I kept it under : me arum an’ divil a dhrop it has got.’ A client once burst .into a flood of tears after he bad heard the statement of Ids counsel, exdlaimiug, ‘1 did uot.thlnk 1 suflered half so much till I heard it this day.’ 'Come here, Felix; you said the letter E was a glutton, how do you know it?’ ‘Because he changes fasts into feasts, is invariably the lirst eating and is always last at table.’ ‘Hould on!’ said Pat,^r"’; i ® fc ood look ing after the depart**'* tnun. O'bdo.'bi'iip- - it to atop. ■flpWd. on, ye munneriag. stame ingir\^ z 8 0t a sas3onger5 as30nger aWfl that’s lep'fuehmd. ■ \Tnu/ Eddy, of Lincoln, caught her kissing tho servant girl.—. was sent for. He says he - can- patch Mr. Eddy's face, but he’ll always ho bald-headed. A farmer recently advertised for a runaway wife, and called particular atr tention to the meanness of nor desertion just as tho spring Work was coming on after he had tho expense of wintering* her; A young woman in Buoramento, Cal., is threatening to get a divorce on the novel ground of ‘protracted festivities.’ She says her husband celebrated his marriage by getting drunk, and lias kepi up the festival ever since. A Michigan doctor, who wits arrested because his patient died, baa been acquit* ted, on tho ground that he did tho best he could, giving all tho medicines ho >know the name of. He put in the plea that bo never insured a case when ho took it. JSvbn a Texan,man cannot shoot down his fellowman with Impunity, fordldn'f a Judge down there tell a murderer the other ,dov: ‘You have been tried and convicted of killing your wife with an axo, ami you ought to hare been aslutmnl of yoi&aey. The edltorj)f tho Albany Argus an nounces that there are three and eight tenths (3 8-10) organ grinders for every man, woman and child in the city, be sides allowing live for the Oovernor. A Vermonter, who was lifted over h fence by the horns of a neighbor’s bull, has recovered three dollars damages, the jury taking tho ground that the fellow was going that way anyhow, and hia torn corduroys, were already well worn; three dollars was enough. . & enalors. A lawyer once wrote ‘rascal* lu the hat of o brother lawyer, who, on discov ering it, entered a complaint in open court against the trespasser, who, he said bud-not only taken his bat, but had written his own name in it. •Mii, will you take my arm?' asked an old bachelor. ‘La! yes, and you too,’ said the young lady, ‘Can only spare the arm, Miss,’hastily replied the bach elor. ‘Then, 1 said Miss, ‘I can’t tako it, as my motto is to go the whole hog, or none at all.* I REASONS auTr 35u89.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers