yvtoOnlliirnpor yoftr Ifpaid aliict-ly ‘ * r *
J ’ : " - *' •• 'id Fifty r d ",
. . rw o Dollarsnnu ~-y Cents If paid
months; after which Three Dollars
These terms will bo rigidly ad*
,l ln every Installed. No subscription Uis*
all lu'iunrnges are paid, unless ul
MM I tor. '
r yVot eaiss i onar iSaros.
[tt’KO STA^TSiZraf
AND
m ESTATE A GENOV.
" (\'M. B . BUTLER,
I vrronNKY at t.aw.
I tv, rl 'din nous.-, South Hanover Street
I, iMtaiusrUu'l county. Peun.'i.
I'i-iiKins by nmil, will receive ImmecUalo
r'; 1 .;,-utfution given l<» t»lio soiling or rent-
E’lvii r-ibtf'’. In town or country. In «1J lel-
BS«iry. pIOiWC enclose postage Mamp.
I(il.b" l, “ tr ’ * * _
't,«r.t/rz U » » v k is.
[UTOR neyOlt-la w,
CAHttSDtS. Pa.
Lj v on South Hanover Street, opposite
Lilry roiuls stove.
& PA.RKER,
.ir/’O/J.YRra AT LA ir.
,)i Miiii Street.-In Marine Hall. Car-
EO. R. E M- I U
ATTORNEY- VMjA w,
union with S. Hepburn, Jr. .
Kut Malti Slrcrf,
CAIIIjI S Ij E . PA.
:\n-iy
PkENNRDY, Attorney at Daw
I tjirllslo. Ponna. Olflco same as’that of
unvrkan Volunteer.”
I. ] IS7D.
ft GEORGE S. .SEARIGHT, Den-
l n - r prom the. flnl/imorc QoUcuc 6/ Denial
L, QiUeeat the residence of his mother
Diitiier Street, three doors below. Red ford
I,ip, ponna.
lM TSM.
anb (Sans
BE BH A.u 11 I V A" L
of Ai.r, Ti.lt:
A EIF STV I. !’■ ■*>
[I AT S .VN D C A PS .
xiiiMTiher has .lust ononed at iVb. lij •Von'/t
- f iSVivo/, a tew doors. North of the Carlisle
•ii Hank, one of the largest ami best Slocks
iTNanil CAPS ever ollered In Carlisle.
Huts, Casslmere of all styles and qualities,
ilrnns. dlH'orenl' colors, and every deacrlp
if Soft Hats now made.. > • i
Du’jjJrard Und'Old Fashioned Brush, con*
von band and made to order, all warrant*
jlvesattolftetlon.
A fall jisso) tmonl of
MEN’S,
BOV’H.vAWD
CHILDREN'S.
HATS.
• also added to my Stock, notions of dllior
invls, oonslstTns: of
"•N' AND GENTLEMEN'S STOCKINGS
(7)//fir-T, ’ (■ilovt'f,
psm'.il.i, -■ Threud,
Scilfitw Silk. UmhrcUm . tic
WE SEGARS AND TOBACCO,
AJAVAYK on hand.
rfiut* ii call, and examine my stock as I feel
iotu of pleasing all. besides saving you mo-
JOHN A. KELLER, At/rnf,
No. l,*> North ilannv°v Street.
[ATS AND CAPS I
'■oil AT VNl’ A 'UOM ltv r Oil CAP ?
Irso. Don’t Fail rn ij van on
J. G. CAD DIO,
min. WKS'I MAIN STfIhKT,
be seen Mio Unest assortment of
HATS AND GAPS
■ brought to Carlisle. Ho lakes great pleas
lu inviting,'his old friends and customers,
uliuow ones, to hlf* splendid s.oclc Just ro
d irom Now York and Philadelphia, £pn-
In part of fine
SILK and’cassimeub HATS.'
lea an endless variety of Hats and Caps of
latest si vie, all of which ho will soil at the
t\uh Vrirrs. Also, his own manufacture
lals always on hand, and
HATS MANUFACTURED TO ORDER.
4 lnvit'd? best, arrangement for coloring Hats-
Sail Iclnua of Woolen Goods, Overcoats,&c., at
shortest notice (as'ho colors overy week) and
tlifi most reasonable terms. Also, a fine lot of
Ire limndsbf
TOBACCO AND CIGARS
wson band. Ho desires to eairtbe. attention
a-wms who have
COUNTRY FURS
&11, as In; pays the highest cash prices for he
n o. - ' '
iivuhi)]) a call, at tljo above number, bin >lcl
ivi.jis ho fools conihlont of giving on tiro sh •«-
iJlumtuus.
fY~T~fT~T" h
illIvinAMi'BKLL. 1 \V. P. URN WOOD
JIJEJS WOOI),
PLUMBERS,
AS AND-. STEAM FITTERS,
A’o. 18 North Han ver St.
i; A UIiIS L F., 1‘ A
w d'HTIJBS,
\ WATi-iiujr.c)si‘7rs t
Wash BASINS.*
HYDRANTS. ,
LM-’r AND FOrtOR i*UMFS.
! • ‘vISTFHN AND DISKP WKLL BOMBS.
4- • GAS FIXTURES,
fc; WSHAUKS A ND GLOURS Aio.„&o.
ad, Iron and Terra Cotta Pipe,
WITMNEY TOPS find FLUES,'
A U InnilH of
aA S 3 WORK
Ir a:i*;uu and Winter oou.siniiily on Imml.
IN’ TOWN OK COUNTRY
, pr«mptlv attended (n.
ft i'*linmp(Unto attontinri Riven lo ordetH ■ tor
-‘'orlal or work trom n (llstaniro.-Cjr
ffian special mtvftntftges-wo" nro prepared to
JfiiiHh -
OOn’Kll WORK
'“'ll descriptions for Still Houses ami other
, j t)iD>tpLs nt, homo or nt a distance.
COPPER- PIPE
'i'lmiu',! to order c-ljlier drawn or hnu.ed.
S & 'f? £ § &
s ap, 1, 70—ly
pHESH AND PRIME !
CLEAN, PAT AND JUICY.
SMITH’S
iYSTER SALOON,
• »N THE VOUINTKJ-.K I.UII.IHNO _ ,
South Market square x
»B« o!,,m y” s «nUh Is now opening superjor Dya-
B'r°c«lvcd 8 ' r °c«lvcd twice ft weelc, Which he'Bslln ftt
iAo r . e ‘! l l ctio h i» Price. „ ’
' fables aru kept neat ami clcftu and iiir
iMiod with ail the necessary accompaniments.
t'ainlUes supplied with first quality of Oysters
notice. Tho celebrated NIAVAHK
igEH. and MABSEY IMIII.AHKL
*** ftAMSon draught.
«,Y, iv ’ Q him a. trial and lie will endeavor to give
to all, „
A . IHO. SI, SMITH.
Oct. 0,1870~1v
,| L. STERNER & BRO.,
HVERY AND &ALE STABLE,
BETWEEN HANOVER AND BEDFORD ST„
tN THE REAR OP BENTZ HOUSE,
CARLISLE, PA.
Having fitted up the Stable with now Cowl-
Keu, 4c., x uni prepared to furnltm llrat-clasS;
larn-ouuat reasonable rales,. Parties taken tu
tbe springs,'
April a5.i867.-^y
BY BRATTON & KENNEDY
ftlpuical
O F’L AND 1 S ~
mmm f^EOiOi^ESn
Hoofland's German _ Bitters,.
Hoofland’s German lonic
Hoofland's Podophyllin.
(Hand's- Greek Oil, -
// oof land’s GermanJit tie rs,
-I flifh'ys wiUnmt Alcohol or Sjiirlh of any kind,
lidHVerent from all others. Jt is com nosed of
t he pure Juiees or vital principle of Roots. Herbs,
and Barks(or as medicinally termed, extracts),
the wort hless or Inert portions of the Ingredi
ent not, being used. Theiclore, In oho bottle of
this Hillers there is contained as much modlcl*
mil virtue ns-wlll bo found in several gallons of
ordinary mixtures. The Hoots, iSc., used in this
. HI Iters are grown In Germany, their vital prltK
elides extracted in that, country by a scientific
Chemist and forwarded Jo the manufactory-in
thlselty, where they ate compounded ondfebot-
Hod. Containing no sphiiuous lngrec|ienbylUils
Hitters Is free from the objections urged agshnst
all olhers; no desire for stimulants cun
dneed from tholr use. they cannot make drunk*'
nrds. and cannot, under any clrcumsfanecs, have
any hut a beneficial effect.
Hoofiand’s German Touio
Was compounded for (hose not Inclined 10 ex
treme bitters, and Is intended for use In cases
when some alcoholic stimulant is required in
connection with the Tonic properties oi the Rit
ters. Eae.ii bottle of tint Tonic contains one bot
tle of the Ritters, combined -with pure .Santa
Cruz Hum, and flavored in such a manner that
the extreme bitterness of Hie Ritters Is over
come, forming a preparation highly agreeable
and pleasant to the palate, and containing the
medicinal virtues pi the Hitters, 'ihe price of
the Tonic Is SI DM per bottle, which many per
sons think too high. They must take Into con
sideration that the .stimulant used Is guaranteed
tohool a pure quality. A poor article could ho
furnished at a cheaper price, but Is it not better
to pi.y a little more and have a good article? A
medicinal preparation should contain none but
the best Ingredients, nnd (hey who expect to
obtain a cheap compound will moat certainly be
cheated
They are the greatest known Remedies
For LIVER COMPLAINT. DYSPEPSIA. NER
VOUS DEBILITY.-1A UNDICE. DISEASE
OFTHE ICIDNEI-S, ERUPTIONS .OF ■
THE SKIN, and all diseases aris
ing from a Disordered IJvor,
Stomach,or IMPURITY OF
• THE BLOOD.
Roiiclhe follow Big symptoms
Constipation, Flatulence, Inward Flies. Full
ness of Blood lo (be Head, Acidity of the Stom
ach, Nausea. Heart-burn, Disgust for Food, Ful
lness or Weight in tjio Stomach, Sour Eructa
tions, Sinking or Fluttering at the Pit of* the
Stomach, Swimming of the Head. IluiTlert or
Dlllleult Breathing, Flnlterjug ut; the Heart,
Choking or Smiocnllng Sensations when lira
Lvlng Posture, Dimness of Vision. Dots or Webs,
before the Sight, Dull Pnfnintho Head, uenden
ey of Perspiration. Yellowness of tho Skin and
Eyes, ruin in the Side, Rack, Chest, Limbs, Ao„
Sudden Flushes of Heat. Burning in the Flesh,
Constant Imaginings of Evil, and Great Depres
sion of Spirits. All these Indicate Disease of the
Elver or Digestive Organs combined with im
pure blood. ...
The use of the Bitters or Tonic wiil soon cause
Iho above symptoms to disappear, and the pu-.
lient-will ecomo well nnd heaithy.
Dr, Hoof land’s Greek Oil,
Liilhlninu C»rv for nil kinds of /’tun* umt .-t cues.
APPMEI* KXTKUNAI.LY.-Jt will euro all kind
ol Pains and Aches, such ns Rheumatism, Non
ral'du Toothache. Chilblains, Sprains. Bruises
Frost Bites. Pains In iho Back and
Loins, pains in iho Joiutsor Limbs, Stings of
Inserts. Ringworm, etc.
Takkv Intuunai.ly.—lt. will cure Kidney
Complaints, Backaches. Sick Headache, Cholic,
Dvs-'Utery, Diarrhoea. Cnolera Infantum, Chole
ra' Morbus Cramps and Pains in the Stomach,
Fever and Ague. Coughs, Colds, Asthma, ole.
Dr, IlnofUunVs Podophylltn,
OK - SUBSTITUTE FOR MERCURY PILLS.
'J'WH J’i/hi (I Pose
The iin.il P'liici'fiit, jnl imnn'cnf \\iicl<ihl* Cdthaitia
known.'
it sunt necessary to tuUoii Immlful of thesfa
pills to produce the desired effect; two
aci (iiilotfly and powerfully, cleansing tho-LBei,
Siomacli. and Bowels of all Impurities. 11 u*
m-hi.doal ImrmJienL Is Pndijphylnn, or tl»e A.I
oolmlle Extractor Mandrake, which is hy many
t E more Powerful. Acting, and Searching,
than the Mandrake itself. Its peculiar action Is
umm the Liver, cleaning it speedily trom all oh
struct lons, with all Dio power of Mcrcui v, jet
free from tno injurious results attached to the
"-nicli 11.0 use of a catlmr
lio is Indicated, these Pills will give entice satis
nfUion in every case. They never juu.
in eases ol Liver Romplaluts, Dyspepsia, and
Jtiniim Coslivune.sH, dr. norland's German
miters or Tonic should lie used in connection
whh urn Pills. The ionic eflect of tlio Bitters or
Tniilc builds UP the system. The Bitter* or Ton
ic nfr -s lho l Wood, strengthens Ho nerves,
regviintes the Liver, and gives strength. energy.
a KVen°your Bowels active with the Pills, and
toufMip the system with Bitters or Tonic and
nHi ‘ .so i'an retain Us hold, or evor assail > on.
These metllclues are sold hy all Druggists and
Tirmn'ihi. to Induce yon lo take anything elsf
will he sent by eJi..-™ }o[«>•¥
S^IMaV’MKwJiS'K STUIUS, Kll AUCH BT.
I'JJU.AUKU’JIIA. .
Ciias. M/JBvans,
Formerly 0. M-JACKSON & CO,
These romedya are for sale bv druggists, B J or .f*
Keepers and medicine dealers throughout the
Uimed Ksatcs, Canadas, Houth America and tua
West Indies.
1,1870 —1
Ipodicd.
It was when Hie crimson begrtn to
’ In the romul of the robin’s breast,
Tliattbo feetof the maiden, Madeline;
Came not to dance tVlfh thoVoßt.;*’ •
And when the splendor shone In the grass,
• Anil the head of t|io rose was high.
She s>ng of love, though the song, alas ! r
Was only a lonesome cry.
Hu» h ah ! Wheflflh' drifts of gold In th’ air
B'ifrifyea Whoi% the- hroom-was.awoot,,...
She look the combs from ■ or silken hnlr
. And'let U fail to her feet.
Ami In thcMtays when th 1 woods grow brown
• And a red haze fiingQd the skies.
She wound It buck, and wound It down
From her poor bewildered eyo-%
And by and by, when the snows were while,
And a shadow sat in the laud,
She lay on her bed from morn till night.
And turned the ring on her hand.
The midnight moon was blind with storms,
lint her heart with dreams was light—
For sho cried, lie has conies lot mb go to his
amis!
And passed away from our sight. .
,\Ve searched the valley fa rand wide,
. For (he print of a step-hut no!
And wo combed her hair like th’ hair of a bride,
And mado her a grave In the snow.
Apd wo .look the smile with trust so sweet—
And we took (ho ring—for a sign.
'And the name wo graved at the head nnd feel
Was Falth—not Madeline! * , l
niicdlantous.
HOW TD PROVE AH ALIBI.
A .DETECTIVE’S STORY
One Sunday, about ten years' ago, I
found niysMf Tit Carlisle; I was consid
erably acquainted there, and been there
pretty often on business; but,my belntj
there at this time was the result of an
accident merely. I had been time hun
dred in Hep west of.fhfs, trying-in vain to
“•find a clue to the whereli'bmits of,an ab
sconding defaulter;, and coming hack to
take a fresh start, I found that a Hood had
submerged the track for several miles east
of Carlisle, and that there would he no
getting away until Monday, at the least.
So I made a virtue of necessity, and tele
graphed my detention and its cause to
my family, t went uptown-
After dinner at/he hotel, I dropped in
Ut the Office of the district attorney, with
whom I was well acquainted. I found
him arranging the details of a number of
criminal cases which were to he tried at
the court, .which began on .the following
'Monday*
* Anything of importance?* I. asked,'
rather carelessly.
•‘One at least,’ lie replied* ‘.foe 81ifer, u
’notorious scoundrel, Is, to be tried for high
way robbery. The-.victim was dragge I
out of his buggy « n a lonely road, beaten
insensible and robbed of a thousand dol
lars. Ho Identified Slifer positively as
one of the rudinns,’ .
‘What s the defense? 1
■*l can’t imagine. I don’t think there
Is any in reality.'
. ‘.Maybe he’ll prove an alibi.' I jocosely
suggested. He shook ids head.
‘They’ll 'hardly try that,' ho said. ‘The
facta are ton clear.’ ;
. After some more unimportant conver
sation with him, I returned to the hotel,
where I spent the remainder of fhe day.
The. next day was Sunday..' X awoke
quite early, and;found the. promise*of a
beautiful summer day so good that I dyes
sed myself and took a walk. Nobody, was
Stirring yet about the. hotel, and the town
was perfectly still. I walked around sev
eral squares, and returned to the hotel,
meeting only one person bn th© way.
Xhat person was standing in the door
way of a basement saloon as T passed. I
looked around casually, and,! saw him,
standing there in his shirt sleeves. His
hair was tumbled, and he was gaping, as
ifjust awakened* I did notdiacover that
lie was doing anything particular there;
I thought, afterwards that it was quite
likely that he had been left in a drunken
fit.on the floor or on the bench In th© bar
the night before, and that waking .up at
this early hour lie had taken the wrong
door in seeking for his lodgings, arid had
gone out of doors instead of going to bed.
My look at him was merely a side
glance, but that whs enough to photo
graph ids face in my mine). Itwasathhi,
bilious face, perfectly smooth, \yßh a long
nose, much twisted to one side, and a red
scar over the left eye. X marked it in
stantly as the face of a rascal.
Howl could do that T can’t explain;
our business learns us to read faces ns
other men read books, and Che glance I
had at that face told me that the man'
was a lawless fellow. His actions con
firmed the opinion. Sleepy as he looked
an«l acted, no sooner hud. ho seen me
passing, than lie drove back through the
door and slammed ir to.
. I instantly understood him. *A scamp,'
on some ‘lay’ or other, mid don’t want
to he seen,’ was my thought. And T
walked on with his photograph in my
mind, but ceased to think'anything of
the circumstances before I reached the
hotel. ,
The day passed, anil bright ami early
on Monday morning I took my satchel
amt went down to the depot. But it was
to no purpose;’ the oltice was closed,.and
a placard on the wall informed, the public
that the road would not lie opened before
Tuesday. ,
. I went hack tilthe hotel, too mncis-otit
of sorts to enjoy my breakfast. X did not
understand, till the day. was some hours
older, tiiat I was needed more here at
Carlisle, than any where .else, jiist then.
I went from the breakfast .table into
the reading room, and affer I. had road
an hour, X hon' d one man say to another:
‘l,et’s go over do the court house ; they
are trying Joo.Slifer.’ They went out ;
and remembering my little-talk with Hie
district attorney, my curiosity was ex
cited. and I followed them. ■ <
, When X entered the court room, tha
victim,of. the robbery was on the stand.
He wnaa plain, aimpleold man, and gave
his evidence with apparent truthfulness.
He testified that lie was stopped ntymt
sunset, some months before, while pas
sing from Carlisle' to Ilia Home, with ope
thousand dollars that lie had drawn Unit
afternoon from the hank. It was a lonely
spot ami there was not a house within,
a mile of it. He was jogging leisurely
along, when a light wagon, drawn by
two horses, dashed up beside bin buggy,
and three of the four men in it jumped
out; while the fourth held (lie reins.—
They were all masked. One of them
seized his horse by the hit and slonped
him. the second snatched tlio lines from
his hands, and the third climbing half
into the buggy, and taking h)m by the,
arm, demanded his money. He said that
ho instantly shouted ns loud ns lie could,
when the rullian dealt him a savage blow
with n slung allot, wMch knocked him
sensei ess; anil wiien he came to himsell
again, both the robbers and money were
gone. - . '
He recognized only one of the four;
tlio man that struck him. As bn drew
I to give him tha blow, his mask fell
off; and revealed the face of JooSlifer,
(ho prisoner at (lie bar. Ho knew it; ho
was positive of it, and all the Ingenuity
of thecross examination couldn’t weaken
or shako his evidence on this important
point. 1
Ho pther witness wps i called; for .the
proseoulipp.f-.Ti'otto seaidod
Tlio 'prisoner's lawyer got up and made a
plausible statement lo the Jury that_tho
complainant-.was mistaken about recog
nizing Jots Bl(fer on the occasion referred
to; (bat Sliferiwas not there at all, but
that'be was iiFHorcntt, fifty miles north
of Carlisle, lit file’ very hour of that rob
bery. and that lie should prove it by at
least two witnesses. Ho sat down, and
Proprietor
MADELINE;
ItY AI.ICE CARRY,
CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY. APRIL 18, IST!
called out-* Caleb Wye,* and everybody
leaned forward expectantly.
The witness came forward with a slow,
limping Rato, loaning on a cane. Ho was
apparently a.man of middlo age, and was
dressed' jtf aui£jt)f sober black; a
wblmcKdker about his*neck.’ His hair
was silver gray, ami,as lie mounted the
stand, loaning’On his cane, and turned
placidly to the prisoner’s.counsel, he pro*
sooted an appearance would have
commanded attention and respect almost
anywhere.* * u
•.any surprise, U T know that my heart gave
a tremendous thump. For I saw that
hilllous, thin face, the crooked nose, ami
the scarred forehead of the dodger whom
'T”h«rt ty-fonr~hoursJ;,ef(>re in m
the doorway of the saloon, with this ilif"
ference, however—the hair of the man
was almost black, while this man’s was
silvery gray.
I edged my chair quietly up beside that
of.the district attorney, and while the
man was testifying, I managed to wins*
per in the other’s ear, without attracting
the attention of the witness.
Thu latter testified'that he was a deal
er iu ready-made clothing at Norcott,
and one of the firm of Wyo & Pleasants.
That on the day testified to as the
robbery, both he and his partner were at
t-heir store at Norcott, and there was an
unusual call for goods. Joe Sllfer was
then in town; they knew him well, and
had often employed him to help them in
the store. On this particular day they
sent for him; ho came immediately, and
he remained in the store, waiting on cus
tomers, frojja two o’clock till eight, with
out oeee leaving i(. ‘Mr. Pleasants was
if* court, and he could testify to the same i
facts. I
The first question of the district atlor—
uey made the fellow start and shiver.
‘Are you in disguise, sir?’
‘Wh—what?' stammered the man.
‘Have you a silver-gray wig l oyer your
dark hair?’
The man looked amazed and then
frightened, bid said and. before
lie eouJd recover his self-posse-aion, the
district attorney had stepped forward and
removed the wig. revealing a smoothly
brushed head of dark brown hair.
‘What does this mean?’ heasked stern
ly. .
‘Qnjy a lahby.!' was answer.
‘l've, worri’tliat' wig for years.’
’Have you indeed?’ Did you wear it
all day yesterday?*
‘Yes, sir.’ was the confident response.
' W.here?’,
‘At Norcott, to be sure.’
‘All day?'
‘Certainly- I was tbo/e the whole
day.’
‘When, did you arrive here at Carlisle?’
‘At 7:?P this morning,’
The district attorney gave me a trium
phant* wink; and then lie stated to the
court that he desired this witness to he
detained tilt the close o( the trial. The
sheriff was di reeled to take charge of him.
Mr. Caleb Wye came down from the
Stand with his wig in his hand, and took
a seat, by the sheriff. looking decidedly
more bilious than I had yet seen him ap
pear.
Mr. Pleasants was loudly called for by
the defense; but iio one came forward.
The unexpected .reception which the last
.witness. haipmet probably chilled the ar
dor of his confederate, who wisely choose
to keep himself in the .background. , This
then.was all of the defence; and my ev
idence at once blew it to-the wind. T
looked-directly- at Mr. Wye (so-called),
.while I was telling the jury when* where
ami under what circumstances I had
seen him the previous day, and I saw
him tremble like an aspen leaf. The
jury convicted the prisoner without
leaving their, seats, and the witness was
locked up for further consideration.
I ,left Carlisle 'the next morning and
heard nothing raoieof this affair* for sev
eral weeks. Then a letter from the-dis
trlct'attorney, thanking me for the assis
tance 1 had rendered him covchyed more
details. . . , ■
‘The witness Wye/ ho wrote, ‘whose
real name, is Nicholas .Bray, was indicted'
for perjury. A very‘alight investigation
showed me that we could, prove that he
had no right to the name of-Wye; that
neither ho nor any man by the name of
Pleasants ever kept store in Norcott, and
that neither of them were known there
at all. This, with your evidence, would
have been sulliciont to convict him; and
understanding it ak well as anybody, he
concluded to save trouble and pleaded
guilty. »So ho and Slifer are both in the
penitentiary, and will staj there for a
term of years.'
One’s Friends.— Money can buy many
things good and evil. All the wealth of
the world cannot buy a friend,-nor pay
you for the loss of one. ‘I only wanted
one thing to make, me happy,’. Haziitt
writes, ‘but wanting that, have wanted
'everything.' And again,.‘My heart shut
upln the prison house of this rude clay,,
Ims never found nor will it ever find a
heart to speak to.' •
' \Ve are'the. weakest, of spendthrifts If
-'.we let one friend drop oft through inat
tention, or let one push away another, or
if we hold- aloof from one through petty
jealousy or heedless slight or roughness.
Would you throtV a way a .diamond be
cause it* pricked you? One good friend
‘is not to be weighed against the jewels of
all the earth.
If there Is coolness or miUindiieas be
tween Us, let uh come face to face and
have U out. Quick, before love grows,
cold 1 ” Life is too short to quarrel'in,”
or tp carry buck thoughts of friends, If
I was viong, t I am sorry ;If you, then I
am sorrier yet. for should T not grieve
for my friend’s misfortune.? and the
mending of your fault .does not.Ho with
,me. But (he’ forgiving Udoes,,that is the
happier office/. Give me your hand and
call it even. There! it isgone ; and X
thank a kind heaven, I k’ntep my friend
dill ! A friend is too prcoK us a thing to
be lightly held, hue it must be a little
heart that catinpt find, room for more
than one .or two’. The kindness I feel
for you warms me toward all the rest;
makes me long to do something to make
you all ha»py. It is easy to lose a.friend,
but a new'one will' not come for calling,
or to.riiulce up',for the old one when ,ho
comes. •
A Nr.wviDDß lass got very tired of-her
lover calling on Jksr so . constantly; and
desiring to get rid of- him, she concocted
a plan by whidh the much* result
could bo obtained, livery time became
nho asked him to help move tho'piano
up stairs, ami after that was done, change
od-ber mind, anil hud him help move it
down. Bh© kept on till .‘-ho removed all
the furniture in the house seven times,
and ho didn’tseo the point; butthe other
night, iu despair,when lie called, sbsr
threw put lof water on him from the
window. He says ho can’t place any con
fidence in women, and lie has presented
a hill for removing furniture. ■ C?
A funny story is toUPof an
Oregon pioneer, a hunter, and a man of
much influence in that State. One day
in conversation with an .English traveler,
the John Bull finally asked:' ’Why sir;-
vou must have lived here a long times
To this Meek replied: ‘lbave, sir; you
may well say that/ Pointing to Mount
Hood, said he to the .Englishman: . Do,
you see that mountain? Well, sir, he
said to the interrogator, ‘when I first
came to this country that mountain was
a.hole in the ground.*;. ,
WnKN cousin Tchabod llrataaw tlio el
enlmut at the show bo exclaimed with
niuto astonishment, ‘Then, that's rael
inenageror—the UlenllejU -milter: itselff
Wouldn't tow of ' ti make a team to
draw stun with? Ain’t ho a aerogel-',"
Ibhnbod wont hum, amj related what he
had Been. 1 ‘I seen,'said ho,‘the genuine
mcnagerer—the biggest lump of llesh
(hat over stirred. He had tow tales, one
behind and t’other before. Philosophers
call the foro 'nil a probnobspUa. He put
one of hia tails In my pocket and hauled
out all the glngerbread-every hooter.
What d'ye think he done with it? Wby
he Btuok.lt lu.hla own pocket, and began
to fumble fbrmord.’ ■ ,
THE DUEI BETH/EE? KI3DBE AHD JEFFREY.
Jeffrey had savagely reviewed ono of
Moore’s earlier poetical works. This was
well enough. It was the fair province of
the Edinburgh. lint it had gone beyond.
The criticism was full of personality ;
motives were Impugned; base designs
were charged. There ls~a deliberate at
tempt/' said the reviewed, M do corrupt
the readeis of the book.” Moore was
-furious. Determining to cutoff all chance
of reconciliation, lie wrote to Jeffrey as
follows :
“In the Inst*number of the Edinburgh
Review I-find myself charged with hhw
liberate'intention to corrupt the readers
of my books/. To this*l beg leave to an
swer : “You are a liar—yes, sir, a liar—
,'and-T-ciiop9o"te--ndopt-,AUi3 l , t bar?.k .Oud_
vulgar'inode of defiance in ordef to pre-'
vent at once ail equivocation between us
—and to compel you to adopt for your
own sake the alternative which 1 you
might otherwise have hesitated In oiler
lug to mine.”
Tiio alternative was adopted. One
docs not see how, according to the eti
quette of that day, it could have been
avoided. A challenge was sent, accepted,
preliminaries arranged, and the two
princea-of literature met at the agreed
rendezvous.. The morning , was early,
and the jocund In its promise; as the
light struggled through the mountain
mists, Moore, with the enthusiasm of ids
poetic nature, remarked to Jeffrey :
“What a glorious morning it la
"Yea," replied Jeffrey, “a morning too
glorious for the purpose that brought you
and me here.’’
“You feel,T suppose,” rejoined Moore,
“ that like the legendary Kaxon bishop,
you are better off in this world than in
any elsewhere of the great hereafter. The
bishop, you remember querulously-re
marked to Ids servant that he was-dying,
‘We!!, my lord,’ said the good fellow,
'you are going to a belter place.’ ‘John/
replied the prelate \vilh an air of convic
tion, ‘there is no place like Old Eng
land !” •
Meanwhile the seconds hud .retired; and
were loading the pistols. As’Moore fin
ished Ids story ilie seconds, at lost ready,
placed the parties at the stipulated, dis
tance, and put’ the weapons in their
hands. They raised their . pistols, and
stood .waiting the signal to fire, when
police officers, rushing in, arrested all the
parties, and led them off the field.
This' meeting became a topic for the
wits of Edinburgh and London. It was
said that ihe pistols were loaded with
paper -pellets. Byron wrote, in the
“ English Bards and Scotch Reviewers”:
‘‘('an none remember that, eventful day.
That ever-glorlous, almost fatal fray,
When tattle landless pistol met hIK oyo.
Ami How-Street m'yrmldou.s stood laughing by?”
The clubs were .merry over the matter;
it Was the topic of the -saloons; a bun
dled different versions of the affair were
given; the newspapers—Moore’s.partic
ular horror-retailed driblets of tbe
scandal , and the grand social, of which
lie was both thesycophant and ornament,
cherished the story for many years .as a
morsel of luscious gossip. Both Moore
and Jeffrey publicly denied that the pis-,
tols were not loaded , with , ball, and
promised to adduce proof of the fact.
The.friend of the latter did indeed, make
a half equivocal affidavit to support his
principal's Allegation ; but the second of
.Moore, to Moore’s infinite disgust and
lusting enmity, refused to make any
statement whatever. -Moore and Jeffrey,
however, were- reconciled, and became
life-long friends.
Character.— Strength of- character
consists in two things—power o*f will
and power of. self-restraint. It requires
(wo things, therefore, for its existence
strong feelings and strong command
over them. Now, it is hero we make a
grand.mistake; we mistake strong char?
actor- A man who dares all before him.-
and before whose frown domestics
.tremble, and whose hursts of fury make
the children of his household quake—lie
cause bo has his wilt obeyed, and Ms
own way in all things, we call‘him a
strongman. The truth is, ho is a weak
mam It is bis passions that are strong ;
he that is mastered by them is weak. —
You must measure aman by his strength
of the passions he subdues, and not by
the power of those which subdue him.
And hence composure is very often the
highest result of strength. Did we ever
see a man receive a flagrant insult, and
only grow a little pale, and then reply
quietly? That Is a man spiritually
strong. Or did be never see a man in
anguish stand as if cnrvfed out of a solid
rock, mastering himself? Or one that
beating a hopeless doily trial, remains
silent, am! never tells the world what
cankers his homo peace? Thatiastrepgth,
He who, with strong passions, remains
.chaste; ho whp, keenly sonsatlve, with
many pours of indignation in him, can
he provoked and .yet restrain himself and
forgive, those are strong men, and spirit
ual heroes.
A CiiKAQYHAMfs Joke.—A clergyman,
rather addicted to practical joking, was
once dining at a country inn. It was his
custom to carry with him on his journeys
a small phial, of pungent cayenne, and at
dinner, one of the party asked him for ‘a
pinch or two of his red salt,* Tt was im
parted without a word of caution. The
potent pepper was not long in making
the poor fellow’s acquaintance, Hia face
anon became scarlet, tlio tonsils of his
throat began to swell, his ,eyes began to
fill with tears, and ho rose in an agony
of distress, and “roared like the great
brindle hull in his own cattle yard at
home.” He caught at the parson’s sug
gestion, “ water,” and almost drained a
stone Jug which stood upon a side table,
just replenished with cold spring wafer.
As soon as he could speak, .he said to his
rural neighbor ;
‘Jebediah, for (he Lord’s sake, does
my mouth blaze ?’
‘No, Hiram, it don’t, but it smokes, I
telli’ou.’
The fiery victim of tlio clerical joke
strode in front of the parson, with ‘in
dignation in his aspect.’ and said :
‘Do you know, mister, that I took you
for a parson ?*.
‘Dam, indeed, an humble member of
the cloth,* was the reply.
■Oh! you be, be you? Ami do you think
It anyhow consistent with, your calling
to travel about the country in this way,
carrying hell-fire In your breeches pock
et. r
A Box’s Composition on the Goat.—
A-goat is. longer than a pig, and gives
milk. He looks at you. fto does the
doctor, but the goat has four legs. My
goat butted Deacon Tllllnghast in a bad
place, and a little calf wouldn’t do so. A
boy without a father is an orphan, and if
'he hain’t got no mother he Is two or
phans'. Tim goat don’t give so much
milk ns a cow, hut more than an ox, I
saw an ox at a fair one da3’» and ho went
in on a family ticket. Mother picks
giese in the summer, and tho goat onto
grass and jumps on a box. Some folks
don’t like goats, but Tor me, give me. a
mule with a paint brush tall. The goat
is a useful animal, hut don't smell ns
sweet as nice beal’a oil for tho hair. IM
had too’much hair I would wear u wig,
as old Captain Peter’s does. I will self*
my goat for three dollars, ami go to the
circus to see the elephant, which is lar
ger Umii five goats. • T. Swine.
ADAiyirllEi-'lNEl).—'There must have
been sdrokotfripus apeoimens of Scottish
humor- at the examination or
of tlw n " ok ljor
mssstißßvad ministration of the coiuinn
nloil. "Thus with reference to human na
ture before the fall, a man was asked:
‘ What kind of a man was Adam?’
• Ob, just like itlier folks.’
The minister insisted on having a more
special description of tiie_ first man, and
pressed for more explanation.
‘Wool,’ said (lie catechumen, 'lie was
list like Joe Simpson.’ ,1
* How bo?* asked tire minister,
‘ Weui, naebody got anything by him,
and many lost.’ ): -
ROCK ME TO SLEEK MOTHER.
The publication of this beautiful piece
happened in 1801, Immediitely after the
breaking mil of the .rebellion; It was
seized by the newspapers of the country
as something rare. /No owner appearing
for the fugitive, some discussion arose as
to its authorship, and five or six persons
in the Northern Stales laid claim to it.
It was originally published under the
nom tic plume of “ Florence Percy/’ and
was set to piusic by eight different com
posers, and thousands upon thousands
were sold. It’now turns out find the
poetry was written in .South Carolina by
-M
Ako’s, the sculptor, who. until recentiyT
bus been unable to establish her claims
to its authorship.' Untold sums have
been realized from her “talent,” yet
this poor wiiiow, whose verses have ami
will please millions, never received a
farthing for Us composition. Justice
should be done her:
Hackwarilitilrn backward,oh, time In your Might,
Make men chlUl.agaln, Just forto-nlght 1
Mother, come back from the cchnlcss shove,
Take me nyafn to j-our arms, as of yore;
ICtss from my forehead the furrows of euro,
Smooth tho few silver threads outof my hair
Over my slumbers your toying watch keep,
Rook me to sleep, mother, rock mo to sleep.
backward. How backward, oh, tide of the years,
I am st> wearj- of toll and of leai r;
Toll without recompense—tears all in vain, ,
Take them—ami give mo my childhood again !
I have grown weary of dust ami decay,
Weary of dinging my soul-wealth away,
Weary of .sowing for others to reap,
Rock mo to sleep, mother, rock me to sleep.
Tired of (he hol.iow, tho base, the untrue.
Mother, oh fnollier, my heart calls for you;
Many a summer .the grass has grown green,
blossomed, and Jaded, our faces between,
Yet, with strong yearning and passionate pain,
Long t.fo-nJght for your pu-scnce again;
Como from the silence, so long ami so deep,
Rode mo to sleep, mother, rock me to sleep-
Over my heart In the days that are dou n,
Is’o lovc like mother's love ever has shown,
toother worship abides and endures,
Faith Ail, unselfish and patient likeyours.
None like a mother can charm away pain.
From.the side soul and the world weary brain
Slumber's soli calm o'er my heavy lids creep,
Hock mo to sleep, mother, rock mo-to sleep.
Como, let your brown hair,Just lighted with gold
Full on your shoulders again as of old,
Lot II drop over my forehead to-night,
Shading rny faint oyes away from tho light,
For, wllhlts sunny-edged shadows once more,
Haply will throng the sweet visions of yoro—
Lovingly, softly. Us bright billows sweep!
Rock .no to steep, mother, rock me to sleep;
■Mother, dear mother, the years have been long,
Since T first listened your lullnbo song ; ,
.Sing, then, and unto my soul It shall seem,
Womanhood’s been only a dream—
Clasped to your, heart nka.lovlpg embrace.
With your light lashes Just sweeping my face,
tsever hereafter lo wake or to weep,
Rock mo to sleep, mother,rode me to sleep.
ANECDOTE OF HON. WILLIAM L. MARGY.
Proctor’s “ Bench ami Bar” eontains
the following anecdote of the late Hon.
William L. Marcy :
There was a debating society connected
with (he Adams Aciuirmy, In Leicester,
Massachusetts, to which young Marcy
belonged. Though very young, he was
one of the chief disputants, but tho par
tisan sentiments of tbe principal. (Dr
Adams) prevailed in tho society. In the
discussions,"Jefferson ami his principles
were often assailed with great bitterness.
The young student admired the'rising
statesman, amt ho repelled these-attacks
single-handed and alone. ‘
Tho ability which lie displayed in in’s
defence.began to exert an Influence in
the institution. At length several of the
students' united with him* and Marcy
found himself the centre of a small but
increasing party. Dr. Adams saw this,
and deemed H to be his duty to interfere.
Accordingly lie summoned the young
man before him lav tho o£ ex
postulating with him upon the course he
was pursuing, in advancing hisdancerous
political sentiments. To his surprise, he
found the young Democrat as firm and
unflinching in his presence as he was in
the debate. It was in vain that the good
doctor reasoned, threatened and cajoled.
He was mot with arguments that puzzled
him-to answer; ami which were firmly
but modestly maintained. At length Mr.
Adams saw that matters must be brought
lo a dteided point.
“ Am I to understand' then,” said he,
"that you are/ determined to openly ad
vocate the quuse and principles of that
Infidel, Jefferson, here in tins institu
tion V”
“If I hoar him or his principles openly
attacked, I shall certainly defend him.
If, however, you will forbid an,allusion
to poJftic&hore, I. will most cheerfully
subscribe to ibo rules, ’’ said Marcj'.
‘‘lt is my duty, sir, to expose error and
wickedness in all ways, and .in every
manner,'and ‘to tench my pupils to do
the same, and therefore cannot establish
such a rule,” said the doctor.
“ Then, sir, if you allow one class of
Students to discuss polilie.s, yon should
give others the same privilege. ,r suld (he
young man.
“N.o, sir ; not, when one side proposes
to advocate infidelity and all manner ot
evil,” said the doctor.
‘‘Who Is to he the judge’us to what
political principles are erroneous?” asked
Marcy.
“ I am, sir ; and to be plaid, you must
abandon all public utterance of your sem
timents here.”
“Ami if T dp :Uot obey this order what
Is to he the consequence?” •
“ You will be expelled from the insti-
tution, sir,” said the doctor, with some
warmth. '
fc * “ Tills, is bigot j*3' and injustice, Doctor
A dains, and I shall leave your ins! it u lion.
My father will sustain md in refusing to
stay where free discussion isnot tolerated
—where narrow, bigoted sentiments can
)6 advanced in the heariugflof those who
lifter from them, and where Che privilege
ft replying is forbidden ; and as for Mr.
federson, his memory will bo venerated
ong after his trmlucer.s are forgotten,”
aid the student, the deep glow on his
dieek, tho tiro in his eye evincing the
lepth of feeling'which prompted this
uiswer. The next day he returned homo,
and faithfully related to his father all
that had occurred between himself and
Dr. Adams.
“ You did right, just right, my boy,”
said the father. “Never furl your banner
to the enemies of Thomas leftersoh, and
never turn your hack to the Democratic
ship, which under his command is bound
on a long and prosperous voyage.”
Marcy soon entered another academy,
in which he completed his preparatory
course, and then entcro.l Brown Univer
sity, at Providence, Rhode Island, where
In July, 1808, he graduated.
Some years ago, in one of our western
(courts, three men—an Englishman, an
'lrishman,and a Scotchman—were found
guilty of nnmljer and sentenced to be
bung. Tlie judge told them I bey could
.each choose (be tree on which they would
like lo bo‘elrung up.’ Tlie Scotchman
proinptlyclioso an ask tree, and tlie Eng
lishman an oak tree. ■ Well, I’at, what
will yi u bo hung on?’ asked tlie Judge.
‘lf it plane your honor, I'd miller be
bang on a gooseberry luisli.’ ‘ Oil, said
the Judge, that’s not big enough,” ‘ Her
gery thin,’ replied Pat, brightening up,
‘ I'll wait till it grows.”
Joan lltontwis says; 1 Tlie live man is
like a little pig, lie la weaned young, and
begins to root early. Ho is the pepper
suss uvcreatlon, thoallspice uv the world.
One live man in a village is like a case
uv itch In a district school—he sets eve
rybody to scratch in’ at oust.’
VOL. 57.—N0. W
political
SOMERSAULT OF THE NEW YORK HERALD.
The Js r ew York Herald fins support
Grant through thick ami thin until with
in a few days pant. ,Tt now turns one of
Us periodical somersaults, hounding from
the weaker to what is considered the
stronger side. It says:
We have been disposed to sustain Gen.
Grant on account of the services he ren
dered the country in the war* and he-
Jleving he was honest, having hope at
tyo same time that witli experience lie
would sliow some-capacity for statesman
ship; hut lie ,has failed, and we see little
_ejse lint blunders both In pur domestic
iind’Tdr^n'ltlhtirjr.'—Puhl-ia.ficn.UmehtJii,
every direction, and even in 'New,Eng
land. the stronghold of .Radical Repub
licanism, is turning against him. At
the very time the tide of public opinion
was thus turning, as clearly shown by
the elections, the President quarrelled
and attempted to whip into his measures
Air. Sumner, the foremost man of the
Senate and one of the oldest and most ef
ficient men that built up the party which
put him in the .White House. We see
the immediate resuit, though wo have
not yet seen all the consequences of this
mistake. Then look at the wretched
failure of the administration policy to
ward the Fduth. The people of that sec
tion showed such, a ready disposition lo
repair the damages of the war, and to
make the bo-d of (he astounding social,
polilieal and industrial revolution they
had passed through, that within a year
or two they raised again hundreds of
millions wortli of surplus produced Thair
peaceful imlitstty* and energy uudersuch
circumstances were astonishing and call
ed forth the admiration of the world.—
But the julmlnlstmtion • kept Its heavy
hand still on this people, refused them
amnesty or encouragement, and indirect
ly fomented disorder to serve a base po
litical purpose. Whatever Ku Klux
crimes there may be in the South—and
we have no doubt they are creatly exag
gerated for political effect In the North
—have resulted from the miserable ami
heartless policy of the administration
and the Radical party. If wo look at
the financial administration and the
measures of the government wo see
nothing hut blunders ; no statesmanship
and every act directed (o the one end of
sustaining Ibe .New England policy of
protection. The whole financial policy
lias been contracted, sectional; to favor
tlie few and to burden the many. Gen.
Grant's administration through all its
course ft now weighed lu the balance and
is found wanting. Though the masses
of our people arc conservative and slow
to move they are fast coming to lids
conclusion.
If the Democrats he wise they may
profit by tlie failures and mistakes of
the administration and the Radicals.-r-
Never had a great party a finer opportu
nity. Let them- ignore the old, dead is
sues of the past* accept without reserve,
| the changes effected by the war and In
I the Constitution, advocate reduction’of
taxation (o tlie lowest point, cut down
the extravagant expenditures that re
main us remnants of the war and give
the country that grand po-ition among
the nations of the world that belongs lo
It, and there will be a fair prospect open
for the next Presidency. The people
anxiomly look for a restoration of the
good old times when they had an econo
mical government, when local institu
tions and liberty were lespeeted, when
military rule was never thought of or
bayonets seen at tlie polls. The Demo
crats have hi on a powerful party, and
governed well* The people seem dispos*
ed to try them again. The Radicals
never comprehend Die true theory of our
Even the cohesive power
of the public Treasury cannot hold them
together any longer. Tlie Democrats
have the prize within their reach it they
know how to use their opportunity
THUNDER JN THE. EAST.
. The removal of Simmer, an chairman
of a Senatorial committee, has caused
the Massachusetts lion to shake his mane
and roar. Somebody else’s ox is gored
this time. The Massachusetts Senate has
ordered the following.to be printed :
P.esolvt'il. That every Invasion by one depart
ment of tho government of the prerogative of
another tends to defeat the fundamental end of
all constitutional government— that- ti shall bo
a government of laws and not of men.
* That-tho people of Massachusetts
have seen with alarm the recent attempt, tin
happily successful, by the President oi tho Uni
ted States, not officially proclaimed, bntnofcorl-'
ous and avowed by,Us supporters, to dictate the
organization and appointment of the Committee
on Foreign Relations of the Senate of the Uni
led Stales. .
Jlfsotvrd, That the aiumleseree of the, Senate
In the dictation by the Executive nf the appoint
ment of the (’ommlttce cm Foreign Eolations,
Implies a. subserviency wbleh disciualillcs that
branch for the Independent performance of Its.
constitutional duties to supervise' the nomina
tions ami treaties laid before the Senate by the
President.'And threatens tho removal-ol the
great bulwark against executive usurpation.
How sot'ii the lime is changed I While
Lincoln & Co. wore arresting and mob
bing their neighbors, all tho godly In
habita nls of that staid old Commonwealth
were quiet. Now when one of their
oxen is gored, it is pronounced an “Inva
sion,” and “ tends to defeat the funda
mental end of all constitutional govern-‘
meat.” How these Winds have hud their
eyes opened. They begin to have some
respect for the old Coiiflltutlon, which
we supposed, from their e mduet the
past ten years, they bad entirely.forgot
(on 1 Grant will have dom* some good at
all eventa if in*.succeeds in getting our
Puritan, brethren to look -through con
stitutional glasses again.
* -,n
'Tuf Cost of Contesting Skats in
( oNciukss.— The last House of Represen
tatives voted 5114.000-to pay persons con
test log for scats. This fact has led the Com*
mUteeon Elections in the present House
to investigate the subject, and they have
unanimously agreed hereafter not to rec
ommend the payment of any compensa
tion to contestants who fait, beyond wh,*it
is actual, reasonable and necessary ex
pense for a contest' founded in good
faith and on reasonable grounds. It Is
to he hoped that this nib* will be adher
ed to.
Tin-: Democrats of Harrisburg had a
arnnd l>iui(|iu*t at Bolton's Hold, in
honor of the ifrout victory in New
Hampshire. .Hon, William A. Wallace
presided, assisted by thirteen vice presi
dents. Nearly two hundred persons* sat
down to the tables, and eloquent respon
ses were made (o Use several toasts.
Those who wore gathered together were
jubilant, as they hud good rcas-n for
Wing. A victory such as that in New
Hampshire gives proper cause for rejoic
ing-
CJuANThas at last reluctantly revoked
the appointment of the murderer Berger,
whom lie nominated us U. Consul at
Pernambuco, and the criminal wretch
will now he taken to North Carolina Uk
answer for Ida misdeeds, if he cun ho
caught.
Tin. New York Tribune accuses Mr.
Secretary Ixobeson of telling a’falsehood;
nor does it. stop there—lt proves (ho
truth ot its very very grave allegation.—
Tin? lie was told in reference to adulter
relating to the Sun Domingo business.—
Into what depths of baseness lias that
business plunged Clrautand.his Cabinet.
KknatouFukijlNCsiiuysbn thinks that
the “ moral piesenco” of our fleet in Do
minican waters had a good effect on
Haytl. The Senator never uttered a
sounder opinion in his life. The “moral
presence” ‘>f ft big mgn brandishing a
club over a little man’s head, In nine
oases mu of ten will keep the “little
man” quiet.
Winu-5 the Uepublicuus in Congress
arc disunited amt lighting among them
selves, the Democratic members act as a
unit, and present a solid trout ,
Hates £or HbvettwitiQ.
A.I)VKTITI9EMESJT9 Will DO IDSOrtCd flt TCD CCHI
per lino for tho Aral Insertion, and flvo' cent
her lino for each subsequent Insertion. Q.m>r
erly half-yearly, and yearly advortlscmeuls In
erted atn liberal roductloa on tho ojpovo rates
Advertisements should bo accompanied by tho
Cash. Wnen sent without any length of time
specified for publication, they will be continues
until ordered out and cuarged (Accordingly. '
JOB PRIUTINU.
UA it dm, UAxpurLr.s.OiucnLAiw, ami ovary mu.
er description of Job and Card Printing.
©dds ana 3Sim»;
A disease near ul hand—tbrf Spring
fover.
Weather.— After April weather in
March, look out for March weather in
April. • . , ,
When is a young mao’4 Brm like tho
Gospel? When he makes glad the walste
place*. . •
Suppose a fellow that has nothin’ mar
ries a gal what has nothinS is her things
hia’n, or his’n her’n, or hi.s’n.nnd her’n
his?
An. Indiana when asleep, .recites
Greek hut when awake Is utterly ignor
jvpt nf I.hat language. This Is an Indiana
e u p h u FsTiTToT'sayTii'if HniV"jmrnTcsr„
A nooiMlcal of the*consolation of this
world Is about as solacing ns the assur
ance of the man to his wife when she
fell into the river. “ You will fh.d
ground at the bottom, my dear.”
* None but the bravo deserve the fair,’
as Ihe rough said when ho cohered the
conductor and declined payment.
Peoui.e engaged ut the mint might to
he rich, tor the simple reason that they
know how * to make money. 1
iris said that the Chinese knew how
to steal, live hundred years before the
Radical party was horn.
A Vermont man, who has been arres
ted/or shooting his mother In law, con-,
lends'that he mistook her for a wild
turkey.
* You want, nothing, dp you ?’ said Pat.
‘ Uedud, an* if it’s nothing you want,
you’ll find It In the Jug where the whisky
was-’
Mother, don’t you wish you had the
rent of o.ylt in your garden ?*
‘ Why, Josh, you sarp-mt, what, do you
mean? 1
As money’s the root of all evil, If we
had the tree couldn’t we get all the pre
cious stud.
A TKACiifiK of vocal music asked an
old lady If her grandson had any ear. for '
mu-do. ‘ Wu'ftl said the old woman, *I,
renl/y don’t know; won’t you jrtsl take
the caudle and sco 1’
A devoted Radical.who wanted Grant
to he as much like the Father of his
country as possible, prayed that themau
tloplece of Washington’s might fall on
him
A Prindeton, Illinois, saloon keeper
has a temperance pledge behind the* bur,
and does his best to induce fiend heals
and loafers Id sign it.
A WAG, observing on the door of a
house tile names of two physicians, re
marked, that it put him iunnlnd of a
double barreled gun, if one missed, I lie
ither would ho sure to kill.
• A darkey, left In charge of n telegraph
ofllce at New Orleans, while the operator
went to dlhner, beard .some one ‘ call’
over the wires, ami began shoutlngat the
•instrument: '{Jo operator isn’t yer.’—
The noise ceased.
A poor widow wommiAvas relating to
a neighbor, how fond her husband was of
having a good lire; how busy he would
make.himself in fixing it so that It would
burn. ‘ Ah, poor dear man,’ said she.’—
T hope he's gone where they keep good
11 ms. . ,
■ ‘Mv son,’ said the elder Bplggles to
Rpiggles junior, thinking to. enlighten
the boy on the propagation of'the hen
species— * my sou, do you know (hat
chickens come out of eggs ?’ ‘Do they?’
sai l Junior ; * T thought eggs
came out of chickens.’ Tins ended the
first, lesson.
That the virtuous person, or ho who
performs his duty by obeying tho will of
God, enjoys much happiness, and that
the vieiou.H person, or lie who. lives in
the habitual violation of the law intima
ted to him by reason ofconscience, is sub
ject to much infelicity, are truths so ob
vious (lint they have not escaped obser
vation in any age,
Mu. Gor.imx, an old bachelor editor,
thus in Ids spite, comments on a recent
moonlight incident: ‘ We-left our sanc
tum at midnight last night, and on our
way home We saw a young lady and gen
tleman holding a gate on - its binges.—
They were evidently indignant at being
out so !'iale, and we saw them bile each
oilier several times.’
• Tai.K about getting a good deni out of
a little piece of laud!' exclaimed Simp
sou-why. I bought an acre of land from
old MV. Ross, up ai goo«o Fair, planted
one acre of.lt with potatoes and t’other
with corn.
‘I thoughts mi said you. bought on’y
one aero, Simpson?’ remarked a listener
—how could you plant two?’
* Very easily, sir— I stood if upon the
end and planted both sides of it.’
Thk Wife:— lf yotrwlsh to be happy
and have peace in the family, never re
prove your husband in company, never
if that reproof bo over ho light If he be
irritated speak not an angry word. In
difference sometimes will produce un
baopy consequences. Always feel an
interest in what your husband under
takes, and if )\e is perplexed or discour
aged, assist him by your smiles and hap
py words. If the wife is careful bow she
conducts, speaks and looks,-a-thousand
happy hearts would cheer and biighteu
her existence, where now there ia noth
ing hut clouds of gloom, sorrow and dis
conlent. The wife, above all others,
should strive to please her husband and
(o make home attractive.
Enw.—Tho greatest flood has the
soonest ebb, tho sorest temper the most
sudden culm, tho hottest love the coldest
turn, and from the deepest desire often
times ensues the deadliest hate. A wise
man had rather'be envied for providence
Mian pitied for prodigality. Revenge
barketh only at stars, ami spite spurns at
that she cannot reach. An envious man
waxetb lean with the fatnessof his neigh
bor?. Envy is tho daughter of pride, tho
author of murder and revenge,.tho he-,
ginner of secret sedition, - and the perpet
ual tormentor of virtue. Envy is the
filthy sediment of the .soul—a venom, a
poison or quicksilver—whioh ennsumeth
the flesh auddrieth up the marrow of the
bones.
The Squwß's lNi>nJi:sTioN. Old
Squire H was a very successful and
substpnllul farmer in an interior town of
Massachusetts, and a more amazing eater
never lived in any (own anywhere; ami
especially much did ho eat when fresh
pork was to be his nourishment. Well,
at a certain time oiiuof his hogs had been
killed. The next morning there was
fresh pork for breakfast, and the old man
ale most wonderfully. In the course of
the forenoon ho ale Ida luncheon, consis
ting of bread and butter, mfnetr pie, and
cheese. At noon his dinner consisted of
fresh pork, pickle, mince pie, and the
usual accompaniments. Hla afternoon
luncheon was like that of the forenoon.
When he came homo to supper his favo
lite dish had not been prepared us a part
of that meal. The old man fretted and
scolded tilt fresh pork was added to the
substantiate. He ate voraciously as usual.
In the evening ho toasted some cheese,
buttered and ate U. ■ Just before going to
bed he rusted a couple of apples and ate
them. In the night he was taken se
verely 111. The doctor was with him till
morning, aMd nearly wrought a miracle
in the old man’s, life. The next day
Holies W , one of bis neighbors, went
in to’condolo with the old squire on ids
illness. ‘Faithful Bollea,’ said the old
worthy, ‘ I like to have died last night.
IMI never eat another roasted apple as
long as 1 live. I never did love them
very well, and last night I,ate only two,
and they nearly killed me,'