yvtoOnlliirnpor yoftr Ifpaid aliict-ly ‘ * r * J ’ : " - *' •• 'id Fifty r d ", . . rw o Dollarsnnu ~-y Cents If paid months; after which Three Dollars These terms will bo rigidly ad* ,l ln every Installed. No subscription Uis* all lu'iunrnges are paid, unless ul MM I tor. ' r yVot eaiss i onar iSaros. [tt’KO STA^TSiZraf AND m ESTATE A GENOV. " (\'M. B . BUTLER, I vrronNKY at t.aw. I tv, rl 'din nous.-, South Hanover Street I, iMtaiusrUu'l county. Peun.'i. I'i-iiKins by nmil, will receive ImmecUalo r'; 1 .;,-utfution given l<» t»lio soiling or rent- E’lvii r-ibtf'’. In town or country. In «1J lel- BS«iry. pIOiWC enclose postage Mamp. I(il.b" l, “ tr ’ * * _ 't,«r.t/rz U » » v k is. [UTOR neyOlt-la w, CAHttSDtS. Pa. Lj v on South Hanover Street, opposite Lilry roiuls stove. & PA.RKER, .ir/’O/J.YRra AT LA ir. ,)i Miiii Street.-In Marine Hall. Car- EO. R. E M- I U ATTORNEY- VMjA w, union with S. Hepburn, Jr. . Kut Malti Slrcrf, CAIIIjI S Ij E . PA. :\n-iy PkENNRDY, Attorney at Daw I tjirllslo. Ponna. Olflco same as’that of unvrkan Volunteer.” I. ] IS7D. ft GEORGE S. .SEARIGHT, Den- l n - r prom the. flnl/imorc QoUcuc 6/ Denial L, QiUeeat the residence of his mother Diitiier Street, three doors below. Red ford I,ip, ponna. lM TSM. anb (Sans BE BH A.u 11 I V A" L of Ai.r, Ti.lt: A EIF STV I. !’■ ■*> [I AT S .VN D C A PS . xiiiMTiher has .lust ononed at iVb. lij •Von'/t - f iSVivo/, a tew doors. North of the Carlisle •ii Hank, one of the largest ami best Slocks iTNanil CAPS ever ollered In Carlisle. Huts, Casslmere of all styles and qualities, ilrnns. dlH'orenl' colors, and every deacrlp if Soft Hats now made.. > • i Du’jjJrard Und'Old Fashioned Brush, con* von band and made to order, all warrant* jlvesattolftetlon. A fall jisso) tmonl of MEN’S, BOV’H.vAWD CHILDREN'S. HATS. • also added to my Stock, notions of dllior invls, oonslstTns: of "•N' AND GENTLEMEN'S STOCKINGS (7)//fir-T, ’ (■ilovt'f, psm'.il.i, -■ Threud, Scilfitw Silk. UmhrcUm . tic WE SEGARS AND TOBACCO, AJAVAYK on hand. rfiut* ii call, and examine my stock as I feel iotu of pleasing all. besides saving you mo- JOHN A. KELLER, At/rnf, No. l,*> North ilannv°v Street. [ATS AND CAPS I '■oil AT VNl’ A 'UOM ltv r Oil CAP ? Irso. Don’t Fail rn ij van on J. G. CAD DIO, min. WKS'I MAIN STfIhKT, be seen Mio Unest assortment of HATS AND GAPS ■ brought to Carlisle. Ho lakes great pleas lu inviting,'his old friends and customers, uliuow ones, to hlf* splendid s.oclc Just ro d irom Now York and Philadelphia, £pn- In part of fine SILK and’cassimeub HATS.' lea an endless variety of Hats and Caps of latest si vie, all of which ho will soil at the t\uh Vrirrs. Also, his own manufacture lals always on hand, and HATS MANUFACTURED TO ORDER. 4 lnvit'd? best, arrangement for coloring Hats- Sail Iclnua of Woolen Goods, Overcoats,&c., at shortest notice (as'ho colors overy week) and tlifi most reasonable terms. Also, a fine lot of Ire limndsbf TOBACCO AND CIGARS wson band. Ho desires to eairtbe. attention a-wms who have COUNTRY FURS &11, as In; pays the highest cash prices for he n o. - ' ' iivuhi)]) a call, at tljo above number, bin >lcl ivi.jis ho fools conihlont of giving on tiro sh •«- iJlumtuus. fY~T~fT~T" h illIvinAMi'BKLL. 1 \V. P. URN WOOD JIJEJS WOOI), PLUMBERS, AS AND-. STEAM FITTERS, A’o. 18 North Han ver St. i; A UIiIS L F., 1‘ A w d'HTIJBS, \ WATi-iiujr.c)si‘7rs t Wash BASINS.* HYDRANTS. , LM-’r AND FOrtOR i*UMFS. ! • ‘vISTFHN AND DISKP WKLL BOMBS. 4- • GAS FIXTURES, fc; WSHAUKS A ND GLOURS Aio.„&o. ad, Iron and Terra Cotta Pipe, WITMNEY TOPS find FLUES,' A U InnilH of aA S 3 WORK Ir a:i*;uu and Winter oou.siniiily on Imml. IN’ TOWN OK COUNTRY , pr«mptlv attended (n. ft i'*linmp(Unto attontinri Riven lo ordetH ■ tor -‘'orlal or work trom n (llstaniro.-Cjr ffian special mtvftntftges-wo" nro prepared to JfiiiHh - OOn’Kll WORK '“'ll descriptions for Still Houses ami other , j t)iD>tpLs nt, homo or nt a distance. COPPER- PIPE 'i'lmiu',! to order c-ljlier drawn or hnu.ed. S & 'f? £ § & s ap, 1, 70—ly pHESH AND PRIME ! CLEAN, PAT AND JUICY. SMITH’S iYSTER SALOON, • »N THE VOUINTKJ-.K I.UII.IHNO _ , South Market square x »B« o!,,m y” s «nUh Is now opening superjor Dya- B'r°c«lvcd 8 ' r °c«lvcd twice ft weelc, Which he'Bslln ftt iAo r . e ‘! l l ctio h i» Price. „ ’ ' fables aru kept neat ami clcftu and iiir iMiod with ail the necessary accompaniments. t'ainlUes supplied with first quality of Oysters notice. Tho celebrated NIAVAHK igEH. and MABSEY IMIII.AHKL *** ftAMSon draught. «,Y, iv ’ Q him a. trial and lie will endeavor to give to all, „ A . IHO. SI, SMITH. Oct. 0,1870~1v ,| L. STERNER & BRO., HVERY AND &ALE STABLE, BETWEEN HANOVER AND BEDFORD ST„ tN THE REAR OP BENTZ HOUSE, CARLISLE, PA. Having fitted up the Stable with now Cowl- Keu, 4c., x uni prepared to furnltm llrat-clasS; larn-ouuat reasonable rales,. Parties taken tu tbe springs,' April a5.i867.-^y BY BRATTON & KENNEDY ftlpuical O F’L AND 1 S ~ mmm f^EOiOi^ESn Hoofland's German _ Bitters,. Hoofland’s German lonic Hoofland's Podophyllin. (Hand's- Greek Oil, - // oof land’s GermanJit tie rs, -I flifh'ys wiUnmt Alcohol or Sjiirlh of any kind, lidHVerent from all others. Jt is com nosed of t he pure Juiees or vital principle of Roots. Herbs, and Barks(or as medicinally termed, extracts), the wort hless or Inert portions of the Ingredi ent not, being used. Theiclore, In oho bottle of this Hillers there is contained as much modlcl* mil virtue ns-wlll bo found in several gallons of ordinary mixtures. The Hoots, iSc., used in this . HI Iters are grown In Germany, their vital prltK elides extracted in that, country by a scientific Chemist and forwarded Jo the manufactory-in thlselty, where they ate compounded ondfebot- Hod. Containing no sphiiuous lngrec|ienbylUils Hitters Is free from the objections urged agshnst all olhers; no desire for stimulants cun dneed from tholr use. they cannot make drunk*' nrds. and cannot, under any clrcumsfanecs, have any hut a beneficial effect. Hoofiand’s German Touio Was compounded for (hose not Inclined 10 ex treme bitters, and Is intended for use In cases when some alcoholic stimulant is required in connection with the Tonic properties oi the Rit ters. Eae.ii bottle of tint Tonic contains one bot tle of the Ritters, combined -with pure .Santa Cruz Hum, and flavored in such a manner that the extreme bitterness of Hie Ritters Is over come, forming a preparation highly agreeable and pleasant to the palate, and containing the medicinal virtues pi the Hitters, 'ihe price of the Tonic Is SI DM per bottle, which many per sons think too high. They must take Into con sideration that the .stimulant used Is guaranteed tohool a pure quality. A poor article could ho furnished at a cheaper price, but Is it not better to pi.y a little more and have a good article? A medicinal preparation should contain none but the best Ingredients, nnd (hey who expect to obtain a cheap compound will moat certainly be cheated They are the greatest known Remedies For LIVER COMPLAINT. DYSPEPSIA. NER VOUS DEBILITY.-1A UNDICE. DISEASE OFTHE ICIDNEI-S, ERUPTIONS .OF ■ THE SKIN, and all diseases aris ing from a Disordered IJvor, Stomach,or IMPURITY OF • THE BLOOD. Roiiclhe follow Big symptoms Constipation, Flatulence, Inward Flies. Full ness of Blood lo (be Head, Acidity of the Stom ach, Nausea. Heart-burn, Disgust for Food, Ful lness or Weight in tjio Stomach, Sour Eructa tions, Sinking or Fluttering at the Pit of* the Stomach, Swimming of the Head. IluiTlert or Dlllleult Breathing, Flnlterjug ut; the Heart, Choking or Smiocnllng Sensations when lira Lvlng Posture, Dimness of Vision. Dots or Webs, before the Sight, Dull Pnfnintho Head, uenden ey of Perspiration. Yellowness of tho Skin and Eyes, ruin in the Side, Rack, Chest, Limbs, Ao„ Sudden Flushes of Heat. Burning in the Flesh, Constant Imaginings of Evil, and Great Depres sion of Spirits. All these Indicate Disease of the Elver or Digestive Organs combined with im pure blood. ... The use of the Bitters or Tonic wiil soon cause Iho above symptoms to disappear, and the pu-. lient-will ecomo well nnd heaithy. Dr, Hoof land’s Greek Oil, Liilhlninu C»rv for nil kinds of /’tun* umt .-t cues. APPMEI* KXTKUNAI.LY.-Jt will euro all kind ol Pains and Aches, such ns Rheumatism, Non ral'du Toothache. Chilblains, Sprains. Bruises Frost Bites. Pains In iho Back and Loins, pains in iho Joiutsor Limbs, Stings of Inserts. Ringworm, etc. Takkv Intuunai.ly.—lt. will cure Kidney Complaints, Backaches. Sick Headache, Cholic, Dvs-'Utery, Diarrhoea. Cnolera Infantum, Chole ra' Morbus Cramps and Pains in the Stomach, Fever and Ague. Coughs, Colds, Asthma, ole. Dr, IlnofUunVs Podophylltn, OK - SUBSTITUTE FOR MERCURY PILLS. 'J'WH J’i/hi (I Pose The iin.il P'liici'fiit, jnl imnn'cnf \\iicl on. These metllclues are sold hy all Druggists and Tirmn'ihi. to Induce yon lo take anything elsf will he sent by eJi..-™ }o[«>•¥ S^IMaV’MKwJiS'K STUIUS, Kll AUCH BT. I'JJU.AUKU’JIIA. . Ciias. M/JBvans, Formerly 0. M-JACKSON & CO, These romedya are for sale bv druggists, B J or .f* Keepers and medicine dealers throughout the Uimed Ksatcs, Canadas, Houth America and tua West Indies. 1,1870 —1 Ipodicd. It was when Hie crimson begrtn to ’ In the romul of the robin’s breast, Tliattbo feetof the maiden, Madeline; Came not to dance tVlfh thoVoßt.;*’ • And when the splendor shone In the grass, • Anil the head of t|io rose was high. She s>ng of love, though the song, alas ! r Was only a lonesome cry. Hu» h ah ! Wheflflh' drifts of gold In th’ air B'ifrifyea Whoi% the- hroom-was.awoot,,... She look the combs from ■ or silken hnlr . And'let U fail to her feet. Ami In thcMtays when th 1 woods grow brown • And a red haze fiingQd the skies. She wound It buck, and wound It down From her poor bewildered eyo-% And by and by, when the snows were while, And a shadow sat in the laud, She lay on her bed from morn till night. And turned the ring on her hand. The midnight moon was blind with storms, lint her heart with dreams was light— For sho cried, lie has conies lot mb go to his amis! And passed away from our sight. . ,\Ve searched the valley fa rand wide, . For (he print of a step-hut no! And wo combed her hair like th’ hair of a bride, And mado her a grave In the snow. Apd wo .look the smile with trust so sweet— And we took (ho ring—for a sign. 'And the name wo graved at the head nnd feel Was Falth—not Madeline! * , l niicdlantous. HOW TD PROVE AH ALIBI. A .DETECTIVE’S STORY One Sunday, about ten years' ago, I found niysMf Tit Carlisle; I was consid erably acquainted there, and been there pretty often on business; but,my belntj there at this time was the result of an accident merely. I had been time hun dred in Hep west of.fhfs, trying-in vain to “•find a clue to the whereli'bmits of,an ab sconding defaulter;, and coming hack to take a fresh start, I found that a Hood had submerged the track for several miles east of Carlisle, and that there would he no getting away until Monday, at the least. So I made a virtue of necessity, and tele graphed my detention and its cause to my family, t went uptown- After dinner at/he hotel, I dropped in Ut the Office of the district attorney, with whom I was well acquainted. I found him arranging the details of a number of criminal cases which were to he tried at the court, .which began on .the following 'Monday* * Anything of importance?* I. asked,' rather carelessly. •‘One at least,’ lie replied* ‘.foe 81ifer, u ’notorious scoundrel, Is, to be tried for high way robbery. The-.victim was dragge I out of his buggy « n a lonely road, beaten insensible and robbed of a thousand dol lars. Ho Identified Slifer positively as one of the rudinns,’ . ‘What s the defense? 1 ■*l can’t imagine. I don’t think there Is any in reality.' . ‘.Maybe he’ll prove an alibi.' I jocosely suggested. He shook ids head. ‘They’ll 'hardly try that,' ho said. ‘The facta are ton clear.’ ; . After some more unimportant conver sation with him, I returned to the hotel, where I spent the remainder of fhe day. The. next day was Sunday..' X awoke quite early, and;found the. promise*of a beautiful summer day so good that I dyes sed myself and took a walk. Nobody, was Stirring yet about the. hotel, and the town was perfectly still. I walked around sev eral squares, and returned to the hotel, meeting only one person bn th© way. Xhat person was standing in the door way of a basement saloon as T passed. I looked around casually, and,! saw him, standing there in his shirt sleeves. His hair was tumbled, and he was gaping, as ifjust awakened* I did notdiacover that lie was doing anything particular there; I thought, afterwards that it was quite likely that he had been left in a drunken fit.on the floor or on the bench In th© bar the night before, and that waking .up at this early hour lie had taken the wrong door in seeking for his lodgings, arid had gone out of doors instead of going to bed. My look at him was merely a side glance, but that whs enough to photo graph ids face in my mine). Itwasathhi, bilious face, perfectly smooth, \yßh a long nose, much twisted to one side, and a red scar over the left eye. X marked it in stantly as the face of a rascal. Howl could do that T can’t explain; our business learns us to read faces ns other men read books, and Che glance I had at that face told me that the man' was a lawless fellow. His actions con firmed the opinion. Sleepy as he looked an«l acted, no sooner hud. ho seen me passing, than lie drove back through the door and slammed ir to. . I instantly understood him. *A scamp,' on some ‘lay’ or other, mid don’t want to he seen,’ was my thought. And T walked on with his photograph in my mind, but ceased to think'anything of the circumstances before I reached the hotel. , The day passed, anil bright ami early on Monday morning I took my satchel amt went down to the depot. But it was to no purpose;’ the oltice was closed,.and a placard on the wall informed, the public that the road would not lie opened before Tuesday. , . I went hack tilthe hotel, too mncis-otit of sorts to enjoy my breakfast. X did not understand, till the day. was some hours older, tiiat I was needed more here at Carlisle, than any where .else, jiist then. I went from the breakfast .table into the reading room, and affer I. had road an hour, X hon' d one man say to another: ‘l,et’s go over do the court house ; they are trying Joo.Slifer.’ They went out ; and remembering my little-talk with Hie district attorney, my curiosity was ex cited. and I followed them. ■ < , When X entered the court room, tha victim,of. the robbery was on the stand. He wnaa plain, aimpleold man, and gave his evidence with apparent truthfulness. He testified that lie was stopped ntymt sunset, some months before, while pas sing from Carlisle' to Ilia Home, with ope thousand dollars that lie had drawn Unit afternoon from the hank. It was a lonely spot ami there was not a house within, a mile of it. He was jogging leisurely along, when a light wagon, drawn by two horses, dashed up beside bin buggy, and three of the four men in it jumped out; while the fourth held (lie reins.— They were all masked. One of them seized his horse by the hit and slonped him. the second snatched tlio lines from his hands, and the third climbing half into the buggy, and taking h)m by the, arm, demanded his money. He said that ho instantly shouted ns loud ns lie could, when the rullian dealt him a savage blow with n slung allot, wMch knocked him sensei ess; anil wiien he came to himsell again, both the robbers and money were gone. - . ' He recognized only one of the four; tlio man that struck him. As bn drew I to give him tha blow, his mask fell off; and revealed the face of JooSlifer, (ho prisoner at (lie bar. Ho knew it; ho was positive of it, and all the Ingenuity of thecross examination couldn’t weaken or shako his evidence on this important point. 1 Ho pther witness wps i called; for .the proseoulipp.f-.Ti'otto seaidod Tlio 'prisoner's lawyer got up and made a plausible statement lo the Jury that_tho complainant-.was mistaken about recog nizing Jots Bl(fer on the occasion referred to; (bat Sliferiwas not there at all, but that'be was iiFHorcntt, fifty miles north of Carlisle, lit file’ very hour of that rob bery. and that lie should prove it by at least two witnesses. Ho sat down, and Proprietor MADELINE; ItY AI.ICE CARRY, CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY. APRIL 18, IST! called out-* Caleb Wye,* and everybody leaned forward expectantly. The witness came forward with a slow, limping Rato, loaning on a cane. Ho was apparently a.man of middlo age, and was dressed' jtf aui£jt)f sober black; a wblmcKdker about his*neck.’ His hair was silver gray, ami,as lie mounted the stand, loaning’On his cane, and turned placidly to the prisoner’s.counsel, he pro* sooted an appearance would have commanded attention and respect almost anywhere.* * u •.any surprise, U T know that my heart gave a tremendous thump. For I saw that hilllous, thin face, the crooked nose, ami the scarred forehead of the dodger whom 'T”h«rt ty-fonr~hoursJ;,ef(>re in m the doorway of the saloon, with this ilif" ference, however—the hair of the man was almost black, while this man’s was silvery gray. I edged my chair quietly up beside that of.the district attorney, and while the man was testifying, I managed to wins* per in the other’s ear, without attracting the attention of the witness. Thu latter testified'that he was a deal er iu ready-made clothing at Norcott, and one of the firm of Wyo & Pleasants. That on the day testified to as the robbery, both he and his partner were at t-heir store at Norcott, and there was an unusual call for goods. Joe Sllfer was then in town; they knew him well, and had often employed him to help them in the store. On this particular day they sent for him; ho came immediately, and he remained in the store, waiting on cus tomers, frojja two o’clock till eight, with out oeee leaving i(. ‘Mr. Pleasants was if* court, and he could testify to the same i facts. I The first question of the district atlor— uey made the fellow start and shiver. ‘Are you in disguise, sir?’ ‘Wh—what?' stammered the man. ‘Have you a silver-gray wig l oyer your dark hair?’ The man looked amazed and then frightened, bid said and. before lie eouJd recover his self-posse-aion, the district attorney had stepped forward and removed the wig. revealing a smoothly brushed head of dark brown hair. ‘What does this mean?’ heasked stern ly. . ‘Qnjy a lahby.!' was answer. ‘l've, worri’tliat' wig for years.’ ’Have you indeed?’ Did you wear it all day yesterday?* ‘Yes, sir.’ was the confident response. ' W.here?’, ‘At Norcott, to be sure.’ ‘All day?' ‘Certainly- I was tbo/e the whole day.’ ‘When, did you arrive here at Carlisle?’ ‘At 7:?P this morning,’ The district attorney gave me a trium phant* wink; and then lie stated to the court that he desired this witness to he detained tilt the close o( the trial. The sheriff was di reeled to take charge of him. Mr. Caleb Wye came down from the Stand with his wig in his hand, and took a seat, by the sheriff. looking decidedly more bilious than I had yet seen him ap pear. Mr. Pleasants was loudly called for by the defense; but iio one came forward. The unexpected .reception which the last .witness. haipmet probably chilled the ar dor of his confederate, who wisely choose to keep himself in the .background. , This then.was all of the defence; and my ev idence at once blew it to-the wind. T looked-directly- at Mr. Wye (so-called), .while I was telling the jury when* where ami under what circumstances I had seen him the previous day, and I saw him tremble like an aspen leaf. The jury convicted the prisoner without leaving their, seats, and the witness was locked up for further consideration. I ,left Carlisle 'the next morning and heard nothing raoieof this affair* for sev eral weeks. Then a letter from the-dis trlct'attorney, thanking me for the assis tance 1 had rendered him covchyed more details. . . , ■ ‘The witness Wye/ ho wrote, ‘whose real name, is Nicholas .Bray, was indicted' for perjury. A very‘alight investigation showed me that we could, prove that he had no right to the name of-Wye; that neither ho nor any man by the name of Pleasants ever kept store in Norcott, and that neither of them were known there at all. This, with your evidence, would have been sulliciont to convict him; and understanding it ak well as anybody, he concluded to save trouble and pleaded guilty. »So ho and Slifer are both in the penitentiary, and will staj there for a term of years.' One’s Friends.— Money can buy many things good and evil. All the wealth of the world cannot buy a friend,-nor pay you for the loss of one. ‘I only wanted one thing to make, me happy,’. Haziitt writes, ‘but wanting that, have wanted 'everything.' And again,.‘My heart shut upln the prison house of this rude clay,, Ims never found nor will it ever find a heart to speak to.' • ' \Ve are'the. weakest, of spendthrifts If -'.we let one friend drop oft through inat tention, or let one push away another, or if we hold- aloof from one through petty jealousy or heedless slight or roughness. Would you throtV a way a .diamond be cause it* pricked you? One good friend ‘is not to be weighed against the jewels of all the earth. If there Is coolness or miUindiieas be tween Us, let uh come face to face and have U out. Quick, before love grows, cold 1 ” Life is too short to quarrel'in,” or tp carry buck thoughts of friends, If I was viong, t I am sorry ;If you, then I am sorrier yet. for should T not grieve for my friend’s misfortune.? and the mending of your fault .does not.Ho with ,me. But (he’ forgiving Udoes,,that is the happier office/. Give me your hand and call it even. There! it isgone ; and X thank a kind heaven, I k’ntep my friend dill ! A friend is too prcoK us a thing to be lightly held, hue it must be a little heart that catinpt find, room for more than one .or two’. The kindness I feel for you warms me toward all the rest; makes me long to do something to make you all ha»py. It is easy to lose a.friend, but a new'one will' not come for calling, or to.riiulce up',for the old one when ,ho comes. • A Nr.wviDDß lass got very tired of-her lover calling on Jksr so . constantly; and desiring to get rid of- him, she concocted a plan by whidh the much* result could bo obtained, livery time became nho asked him to help move tho'piano up stairs, ami after that was done, change od-ber mind, anil hud him help move it down. Bh© kept on till .‘-ho removed all the furniture in the house seven times, and ho didn’tseo the point; butthe other night, iu despair,when lie called, sbsr threw put lof water on him from the window. He says ho can’t place any con fidence in women, and lie has presented a hill for removing furniture. ■ C? A funny story is toUPof an Oregon pioneer, a hunter, and a man of much influence in that State. One day in conversation with an .English traveler, the John Bull finally asked:' ’Why sir;- vou must have lived here a long times To this Meek replied: ‘lbave, sir; you may well say that/ Pointing to Mount Hood, said he to the .Englishman: . Do, you see that mountain? Well, sir, he said to the interrogator, ‘when I first came to this country that mountain was a.hole in the ground.*;. , WnKN cousin Tchabod llrataaw tlio el enlmut at the show bo exclaimed with niuto astonishment, ‘Then, that's rael inenageror—the UlenllejU -milter: itselff Wouldn't tow of ' ti make a team to draw stun with? Ain’t ho a aerogel-'," Ibhnbod wont hum, amj related what he had Been. 1 ‘I seen,'said ho,‘the genuine mcnagerer—the biggest lump of llesh (hat over stirred. He had tow tales, one behind and t’other before. Philosophers call the foro 'nil a probnobspUa. He put one of hia tails In my pocket and hauled out all the glngerbread-every hooter. What d'ye think he done with it? Wby he Btuok.lt lu.hla own pocket, and began to fumble fbrmord.’ ■ , THE DUEI BETH/EE? KI3DBE AHD JEFFREY. Jeffrey had savagely reviewed ono of Moore’s earlier poetical works. This was well enough. It was the fair province of the Edinburgh. lint it had gone beyond. The criticism was full of personality ; motives were Impugned; base designs were charged. There ls~a deliberate at tempt/' said the reviewed, M do corrupt the readeis of the book.” Moore was -furious. Determining to cutoff all chance of reconciliation, lie wrote to Jeffrey as follows : “In the Inst*number of the Edinburgh Review I-find myself charged with hhw liberate'intention to corrupt the readers of my books/. To this*l beg leave to an swer : “You are a liar—yes, sir, a liar— ,'and-T-ciiop9o"te--ndopt-,AUi3 l , t bar?.k .Oud_ vulgar'inode of defiance in ordef to pre-' vent at once ail equivocation between us —and to compel you to adopt for your own sake the alternative which 1 you might otherwise have hesitated In oiler lug to mine.” Tiio alternative was adopted. One docs not see how, according to the eti quette of that day, it could have been avoided. A challenge was sent, accepted, preliminaries arranged, and the two princea-of literature met at the agreed rendezvous.. The morning , was early, and the jocund In its promise; as the light struggled through the mountain mists, Moore, with the enthusiasm of ids poetic nature, remarked to Jeffrey : “What a glorious morning it la "Yea," replied Jeffrey, “a morning too glorious for the purpose that brought you and me here.’’ “You feel,T suppose,” rejoined Moore, “ that like the legendary Kaxon bishop, you are better off in this world than in any elsewhere of the great hereafter. The bishop, you remember querulously-re marked to Ids servant that he was-dying, ‘We!!, my lord,’ said the good fellow, 'you are going to a belter place.’ ‘John/ replied the prelate \vilh an air of convic tion, ‘there is no place like Old Eng land !” • Meanwhile the seconds hud .retired; and were loading the pistols. As’Moore fin ished Ids story ilie seconds, at lost ready, placed the parties at the stipulated, dis tance, and put’ the weapons in their hands. They raised their . pistols, and stood .waiting the signal to fire, when police officers, rushing in, arrested all the parties, and led them off the field. This' meeting became a topic for the wits of Edinburgh and London. It was said that ihe pistols were loaded with paper -pellets. Byron wrote, in the “ English Bards and Scotch Reviewers”: ‘‘('an none remember that, eventful day. That ever-glorlous, almost fatal fray, When tattle landless pistol met hIK oyo. Ami How-Street m'yrmldou.s stood laughing by?” The clubs were .merry over the matter; it Was the topic of the -saloons; a bun dled different versions of the affair were given; the newspapers—Moore’s.partic ular horror-retailed driblets of tbe scandal , and the grand social, of which lie was both thesycophant and ornament, cherished the story for many years .as a morsel of luscious gossip. Both Moore and Jeffrey publicly denied that the pis-, tols were not loaded , with , ball, and promised to adduce proof of the fact. The.friend of the latter did indeed, make a half equivocal affidavit to support his principal's Allegation ; but the second of .Moore, to Moore’s infinite disgust and lusting enmity, refused to make any statement whatever. -Moore and Jeffrey, however, were- reconciled, and became life-long friends. Character.— Strength of- character consists in two things—power o*f will and power of. self-restraint. It requires (wo things, therefore, for its existence strong feelings and strong command over them. Now, it is hero we make a grand.mistake; we mistake strong char? actor- A man who dares all before him.- and before whose frown domestics .tremble, and whose hursts of fury make the children of his household quake—lie cause bo has his wilt obeyed, and Ms own way in all things, we call‘him a strongman. The truth is, ho is a weak mam It is bis passions that are strong ; he that is mastered by them is weak. — You must measure aman by his strength of the passions he subdues, and not by the power of those which subdue him. And hence composure is very often the highest result of strength. Did we ever see a man receive a flagrant insult, and only grow a little pale, and then reply quietly? That Is a man spiritually strong. Or did be never see a man in anguish stand as if cnrvfed out of a solid rock, mastering himself? Or one that beating a hopeless doily trial, remains silent, am! never tells the world what cankers his homo peace? Thatiastrepgth, He who, with strong passions, remains .chaste; ho whp, keenly sonsatlve, with many pours of indignation in him, can he provoked and .yet restrain himself and forgive, those are strong men, and spirit ual heroes. A CiiKAQYHAMfs Joke.—A clergyman, rather addicted to practical joking, was once dining at a country inn. It was his custom to carry with him on his journeys a small phial, of pungent cayenne, and at dinner, one of the party asked him for ‘a pinch or two of his red salt,* Tt was im parted without a word of caution. The potent pepper was not long in making the poor fellow’s acquaintance, Hia face anon became scarlet, tlio tonsils of his throat began to swell, his ,eyes began to fill with tears, and ho rose in an agony of distress, and “roared like the great brindle hull in his own cattle yard at home.” He caught at the parson’s sug gestion, “ water,” and almost drained a stone Jug which stood upon a side table, just replenished with cold spring wafer. As soon as he could speak, .he said to his rural neighbor ; ‘Jebediah, for (he Lord’s sake, does my mouth blaze ?’ ‘No, Hiram, it don’t, but it smokes, I telli’ou.’ The fiery victim of tlio clerical joke strode in front of the parson, with ‘in dignation in his aspect.’ and said : ‘Do you know, mister, that I took you for a parson ?*. ‘Dam, indeed, an humble member of the cloth,* was the reply. ■Oh! you be, be you? Ami do you think It anyhow consistent with, your calling to travel about the country in this way, carrying hell-fire In your breeches pock et. r A Box’s Composition on the Goat.— A-goat is. longer than a pig, and gives milk. He looks at you. fto does the doctor, but the goat has four legs. My goat butted Deacon Tllllnghast in a bad place, and a little calf wouldn’t do so. A boy without a father is an orphan, and if 'he hain’t got no mother he Is two or phans'. Tim goat don’t give so much milk ns a cow, hut more than an ox, I saw an ox at a fair one da3’» and ho went in on a family ticket. Mother picks giese in the summer, and tho goat onto grass and jumps on a box. Some folks don’t like goats, but Tor me, give me. a mule with a paint brush tall. The goat is a useful animal, hut don't smell ns sweet as nice beal’a oil for tho hair. IM had too’much hair I would wear u wig, as old Captain Peter’s does. I will self* my goat for three dollars, ami go to the circus to see the elephant, which is lar ger Umii five goats. • T. Swine. ADAiyirllEi-'lNEl).—'There must have been sdrokotfripus apeoimens of Scottish humor- at the examination or of tlw n " ok ljor mssstißßvad ministration of the coiuinn nloil. "Thus with reference to human na ture before the fall, a man was asked: ‘ What kind of a man was Adam?’ • Ob, just like itlier folks.’ The minister insisted on having a more special description of tiie_ first man, and pressed for more explanation. ‘Wool,’ said (lie catechumen, 'lie was list like Joe Simpson.’ ,1 * How bo?* asked tire minister, ‘ Weui, naebody got anything by him, and many lost.’ ): - ROCK ME TO SLEEK MOTHER. The publication of this beautiful piece happened in 1801, Immediitely after the breaking mil of the .rebellion; It was seized by the newspapers of the country as something rare. /No owner appearing for the fugitive, some discussion arose as to its authorship, and five or six persons in the Northern Stales laid claim to it. It was originally published under the nom tic plume of “ Florence Percy/’ and was set to piusic by eight different com posers, and thousands upon thousands were sold. It’now turns out find the poetry was written in .South Carolina by -M Ako’s, the sculptor, who. until recentiyT bus been unable to establish her claims to its authorship.' Untold sums have been realized from her “talent,” yet this poor wiiiow, whose verses have ami will please millions, never received a farthing for Us composition. Justice should be done her: Hackwarilitilrn backward,oh, time In your Might, Make men chlUl.agaln, Just forto-nlght 1 Mother, come back from the cchnlcss shove, Take me nyafn to j-our arms, as of yore; ICtss from my forehead the furrows of euro, Smooth tho few silver threads outof my hair Over my slumbers your toying watch keep, Rook me to sleep, mother, rock mo to sleep. backward. How backward, oh, tide of the years, I am st> wearj- of toll and of leai r; Toll without recompense—tears all in vain, , Take them—ami give mo my childhood again ! I have grown weary of dust ami decay, Weary of dinging my soul-wealth away, Weary of .sowing for others to reap, Rock mo to sleep, mother, rock me to sleep. Tired of (he hol.iow, tho base, the untrue. Mother, oh fnollier, my heart calls for you; Many a summer .the grass has grown green, blossomed, and Jaded, our faces between, Yet, with strong yearning and passionate pain, Long t.fo-nJght for your pu-scnce again; Como from the silence, so long ami so deep, Rode mo to sleep, mother, rock me to sleep- Over my heart In the days that are dou n, Is’o lovc like mother's love ever has shown, toother worship abides and endures, Faith Ail, unselfish and patient likeyours. None like a mother can charm away pain. From.the side soul and the world weary brain Slumber's soli calm o'er my heavy lids creep, Hock mo to sleep, mother, rock mo-to sleep. Como, let your brown hair,Just lighted with gold Full on your shoulders again as of old, Lot II drop over my forehead to-night, Shading rny faint oyes away from tho light, For, wllhlts sunny-edged shadows once more, Haply will throng the sweet visions of yoro— Lovingly, softly. Us bright billows sweep! Rock .no to steep, mother, rock me to sleep; ■Mother, dear mother, the years have been long, Since T first listened your lullnbo song ; , .Sing, then, and unto my soul It shall seem, Womanhood’s been only a dream— Clasped to your, heart nka.lovlpg embrace. With your light lashes Just sweeping my face, tsever hereafter lo wake or to weep, Rock mo to sleep, mother,rode me to sleep. ANECDOTE OF HON. WILLIAM L. MARGY. Proctor’s “ Bench ami Bar” eontains the following anecdote of the late Hon. William L. Marcy : There was a debating society connected with (he Adams Aciuirmy, In Leicester, Massachusetts, to which young Marcy belonged. Though very young, he was one of the chief disputants, but tho par tisan sentiments of tbe principal. (Dr Adams) prevailed in tho society. In the discussions,"Jefferson ami his principles were often assailed with great bitterness. The young student admired the'rising statesman, amt ho repelled these-attacks single-handed and alone. ‘ Tho ability which lie displayed in in’s defence.began to exert an Influence in the institution. At length several of the students' united with him* and Marcy found himself the centre of a small but increasing party. Dr. Adams saw this, and deemed H to be his duty to interfere. Accordingly lie summoned the young man before him lav tho o£ ex postulating with him upon the course he was pursuing, in advancing hisdancerous political sentiments. To his surprise, he found the young Democrat as firm and unflinching in his presence as he was in the debate. It was in vain that the good doctor reasoned, threatened and cajoled. He was mot with arguments that puzzled him-to answer; ami which were firmly but modestly maintained. At length Mr. Adams saw that matters must be brought lo a dteided point. “ Am I to understand' then,” said he, "that you are/ determined to openly ad vocate the quuse and principles of that Infidel, Jefferson, here in tins institu tion V” “If I hoar him or his principles openly attacked, I shall certainly defend him. If, however, you will forbid an,allusion to poJftic&hore, I. will most cheerfully subscribe to ibo rules, ’’ said Marcj'. ‘‘lt is my duty, sir, to expose error and wickedness in all ways, and .in every manner,'and ‘to tench my pupils to do the same, and therefore cannot establish such a rule,” said the doctor. “ Then, sir, if you allow one class of Students to discuss polilie.s, yon should give others the same privilege. ,r suld (he young man. “N.o, sir ; not, when one side proposes to advocate infidelity and all manner ot evil,” said the doctor. ‘‘Who Is to he the judge’us to what political principles are erroneous?” asked Marcy. “ I am, sir ; and to be plaid, you must abandon all public utterance of your sem timents here.” “Ami if T dp :Uot obey this order what Is to he the consequence?” • “ You will be expelled from the insti- tution, sir,” said the doctor, with some warmth. ' fc * “ Tills, is bigot j*3' and injustice, Doctor A dains, and I shall leave your ins! it u lion. My father will sustain md in refusing to stay where free discussion isnot tolerated —where narrow, bigoted sentiments can )6 advanced in the heariugflof those who lifter from them, and where Che privilege ft replying is forbidden ; and as for Mr. federson, his memory will bo venerated ong after his trmlucer.s are forgotten,” aid the student, the deep glow on his dieek, tho tiro in his eye evincing the lepth of feeling'which prompted this uiswer. The next day he returned homo, and faithfully related to his father all that had occurred between himself and Dr. Adams. “ You did right, just right, my boy,” said the father. “Never furl your banner to the enemies of Thomas leftersoh, and never turn your hack to the Democratic ship, which under his command is bound on a long and prosperous voyage.” Marcy soon entered another academy, in which he completed his preparatory course, and then entcro.l Brown Univer sity, at Providence, Rhode Island, where In July, 1808, he graduated. Some years ago, in one of our western (courts, three men—an Englishman, an 'lrishman,and a Scotchman—were found guilty of nnmljer and sentenced to be bung. Tlie judge told them I bey could .each choose (be tree on which they would like lo bo‘elrung up.’ Tlie Scotchman proinptlyclioso an ask tree, and tlie Eng lishman an oak tree. ■ Well, I’at, what will yi u bo hung on?’ asked tlie Judge. ‘lf it plane your honor, I'd miller be bang on a gooseberry luisli.’ ‘ Oil, said the Judge, that’s not big enough,” ‘ Her gery thin,’ replied Pat, brightening up, ‘ I'll wait till it grows.” Joan lltontwis says; 1 Tlie live man is like a little pig, lie la weaned young, and begins to root early. Ho is the pepper suss uvcreatlon, thoallspice uv the world. One live man in a village is like a case uv itch In a district school—he sets eve rybody to scratch in’ at oust.’ VOL. 57.—N0. W political SOMERSAULT OF THE NEW YORK HERALD. The Js r ew York Herald fins support Grant through thick ami thin until with in a few days pant. ,Tt now turns one of Us periodical somersaults, hounding from the weaker to what is considered the stronger side. It says: We have been disposed to sustain Gen. Grant on account of the services he ren dered the country in the war* and he- Jleving he was honest, having hope at tyo same time that witli experience lie would sliow some-capacity for statesman ship; hut lie ,has failed, and we see little _ejse lint blunders both In pur domestic iind’Tdr^n'ltlhtirjr.'—Puhl-ia.ficn.UmehtJii, every direction, and even in 'New,Eng land. the stronghold of .Radical Repub licanism, is turning against him. At the very time the tide of public opinion was thus turning, as clearly shown by the elections, the President quarrelled and attempted to whip into his measures Air. Sumner, the foremost man of the Senate and one of the oldest and most ef ficient men that built up the party which put him in the .White House. We see the immediate resuit, though wo have not yet seen all the consequences of this mistake. Then look at the wretched failure of the administration policy to ward the Fduth. The people of that sec tion showed such, a ready disposition lo repair the damages of the war, and to make the bo-d of (he astounding social, polilieal and industrial revolution they had passed through, that within a year or two they raised again hundreds of millions wortli of surplus produced Thair peaceful imlitstty* and energy uudersuch circumstances were astonishing and call ed forth the admiration of the world.— But the julmlnlstmtion • kept Its heavy hand still on this people, refused them amnesty or encouragement, and indirect ly fomented disorder to serve a base po litical purpose. Whatever Ku Klux crimes there may be in the South—and we have no doubt they are creatly exag gerated for political effect In the North —have resulted from the miserable ami heartless policy of the administration and the Radical party. If wo look at the financial administration and the measures of the government wo see nothing hut blunders ; no statesmanship and every act directed (o the one end of sustaining Ibe .New England policy of protection. The whole financial policy lias been contracted, sectional; to favor tlie few and to burden the many. Gen. Grant's administration through all its course ft now weighed lu the balance and is found wanting. Though the masses of our people arc conservative and slow to move they are fast coming to lids conclusion. If the Democrats he wise they may profit by tlie failures and mistakes of the administration and the Radicals.-r- Never had a great party a finer opportu nity. Let them- ignore the old, dead is sues of the past* accept without reserve, | the changes effected by the war and In I the Constitution, advocate reduction’of taxation (o tlie lowest point, cut down the extravagant expenditures that re main us remnants of the war and give the country that grand po-ition among the nations of the world that belongs lo It, and there will be a fair prospect open for the next Presidency. The people anxiomly look for a restoration of the good old times when they had an econo mical government, when local institu tions and liberty were lespeeted, when military rule was never thought of or bayonets seen at tlie polls. The Demo crats have hi on a powerful party, and governed well* The people seem dispos* ed to try them again. The Radicals never comprehend Die true theory of our Even the cohesive power of the public Treasury cannot hold them together any longer. Tlie Democrats have the prize within their reach it they know how to use their opportunity THUNDER JN THE. EAST. . The removal of Simmer, an chairman of a Senatorial committee, has caused the Massachusetts lion to shake his mane and roar. Somebody else’s ox is gored this time. The Massachusetts Senate has ordered the following.to be printed : P.esolvt'il. That every Invasion by one depart ment of tho government of the prerogative of another tends to defeat the fundamental end of all constitutional government— that- ti shall bo a government of laws and not of men. * That-tho people of Massachusetts have seen with alarm the recent attempt, tin happily successful, by the President oi tho Uni ted States, not officially proclaimed, bntnofcorl-' ous and avowed by,Us supporters, to dictate the organization and appointment of the Committee on Foreign Relations of the Senate of the Uni led Stales. . Jlfsotvrd, That the aiumleseree of the, Senate In the dictation by the Executive nf the appoint ment of the (’ommlttce cm Foreign Eolations, Implies a. subserviency wbleh disciualillcs that branch for the Independent performance of Its. constitutional duties to supervise' the nomina tions ami treaties laid before the Senate by the President.'And threatens tho removal-ol the great bulwark against executive usurpation. How sot'ii the lime is changed I While Lincoln & Co. wore arresting and mob bing their neighbors, all tho godly In habita nls of that staid old Commonwealth were quiet. Now when one of their oxen is gored, it is pronounced an “Inva sion,” and “ tends to defeat the funda mental end of all constitutional govern-‘ meat.” How these Winds have hud their eyes opened. They begin to have some respect for the old Coiiflltutlon, which we supposed, from their e mduet the past ten years, they bad entirely.forgot (on 1 Grant will have dom* some good at all eventa if in*.succeeds in getting our Puritan, brethren to look -through con stitutional glasses again. * -,n 'Tuf Cost of Contesting Skats in ( oNciukss.— The last House of Represen tatives voted 5114.000-to pay persons con test log for scats. This fact has led the Com* mUteeon Elections in the present House to investigate the subject, and they have unanimously agreed hereafter not to rec ommend the payment of any compensa tion to contestants who fait, beyond wh,*it is actual, reasonable and necessary ex pense for a contest' founded in good faith and on reasonable grounds. It Is to he hoped that this nib* will be adher ed to. Tin-: Democrats of Harrisburg had a arnnd l>iui(|iu*t at Bolton's Hold, in honor of the ifrout victory in New Hampshire. .Hon, William A. Wallace presided, assisted by thirteen vice presi dents. Nearly two hundred persons* sat down to the tables, and eloquent respon ses were made (o Use several toasts. Those who wore gathered together were jubilant, as they hud good rcas-n for Wing. A victory such as that in New Hampshire gives proper cause for rejoic ing- CJuANThas at last reluctantly revoked the appointment of the murderer Berger, whom lie nominated us U. Consul at Pernambuco, and the criminal wretch will now he taken to North Carolina Uk answer for Ida misdeeds, if he cun ho caught. Tin. New York Tribune accuses Mr. Secretary Ixobeson of telling a’falsehood; nor does it. stop there—lt proves (ho truth ot its very very grave allegation.— Tin? lie was told in reference to adulter relating to the Sun Domingo business.— Into what depths of baseness lias that business plunged Clrautand.his Cabinet. KknatouFukijlNCsiiuysbn thinks that the “ moral piesenco” of our fleet in Do minican waters had a good effect on Haytl. The Senator never uttered a sounder opinion in his life. The “moral presence” ‘>f ft big mgn brandishing a club over a little man’s head, In nine oases mu of ten will keep the “little man” quiet. Winu-5 the Uepublicuus in Congress arc disunited amt lighting among them selves, the Democratic members act as a unit, and present a solid trout , Hates £or HbvettwitiQ. A.I)VKTITI9EMESJT9 Will DO IDSOrtCd flt TCD CCHI per lino for tho Aral Insertion, and flvo' cent her lino for each subsequent Insertion. Q.m>r erly half-yearly, and yearly advortlscmeuls In erted atn liberal roductloa on tho ojpovo rates Advertisements should bo accompanied by tho Cash. Wnen sent without any length of time specified for publication, they will be continues until ordered out and cuarged (Accordingly. ' JOB PRIUTINU. UA it dm, UAxpurLr.s.OiucnLAiw, ami ovary mu. er description of Job and Card Printing. ©dds ana 3Sim»; A disease near ul hand—tbrf Spring fover. Weather.— After April weather in March, look out for March weather in April. • . , , When is a young mao’4 Brm like tho Gospel? When he makes glad the walste place*. . • Suppose a fellow that has nothin’ mar ries a gal what has nothinS is her things hia’n, or his’n her’n, or hi.s’n.nnd her’n his? An. Indiana when asleep, .recites Greek hut when awake Is utterly ignor jvpt nf I.hat language. This Is an Indiana e u p h u FsTiTToT'sayTii'if HniV"jmrnTcsr„ A nooiMlcal of the*consolation of this world Is about as solacing ns the assur ance of the man to his wife when she fell into the river. “ You will fh.d ground at the bottom, my dear.” * None but the bravo deserve the fair,’ as Ihe rough said when ho cohered the conductor and declined payment. Peoui.e engaged ut the mint might to he rich, tor the simple reason that they know how * to make money. 1 iris said that the Chinese knew how to steal, live hundred years before the Radical party was horn. A Vermont man, who has been arres ted/or shooting his mother In law, con-, lends'that he mistook her for a wild turkey. * You want, nothing, dp you ?’ said Pat. ‘ Uedud, an* if it’s nothing you want, you’ll find It In the Jug where the whisky was-’ Mother, don’t you wish you had the rent of o.ylt in your garden ?* ‘ Why, Josh, you sarp-mt, what, do you mean? 1 As money’s the root of all evil, If we had the tree couldn’t we get all the pre cious stud. A TKACiifiK of vocal music asked an old lady If her grandson had any ear. for ' mu-do. ‘ Wu'ftl said the old woman, *I, renl/y don’t know; won’t you jrtsl take the caudle and sco 1’ A devoted Radical.who wanted Grant to he as much like the Father of his country as possible, prayed that themau tloplece of Washington’s might fall on him A Prindeton, Illinois, saloon keeper has a temperance pledge behind the* bur, and does his best to induce fiend heals and loafers Id sign it. A WAG, observing on the door of a house tile names of two physicians, re marked, that it put him iunnlnd of a double barreled gun, if one missed, I lie ither would ho sure to kill. • A darkey, left In charge of n telegraph ofllce at New Orleans, while the operator went to dlhner, beard .some one ‘ call’ over the wires, ami began shoutlngat the •instrument: '{Jo operator isn’t yer.’— The noise ceased. A poor widow wommiAvas relating to a neighbor, how fond her husband was of having a good lire; how busy he would make.himself in fixing it so that It would burn. ‘ Ah, poor dear man,’ said she.’— T hope he's gone where they keep good 11 ms. . , ■ ‘Mv son,’ said the elder Bplggles to Rpiggles junior, thinking to. enlighten the boy on the propagation of'the hen species— * my sou, do you know (hat chickens come out of eggs ?’ ‘Do they?’ sai l Junior ; * T thought eggs came out of chickens.’ Tins ended the first, lesson. That the virtuous person, or ho who performs his duty by obeying tho will of God, enjoys much happiness, and that the vieiou.H person, or lie who. lives in the habitual violation of the law intima ted to him by reason ofconscience, is sub ject to much infelicity, are truths so ob vious (lint they have not escaped obser vation in any age, Mu. Gor.imx, an old bachelor editor, thus in Ids spite, comments on a recent moonlight incident: ‘ We-left our sanc tum at midnight last night, and on our way home We saw a young lady and gen tleman holding a gate on - its binges.— They were evidently indignant at being out so !'iale, and we saw them bile each oilier several times.’ • Tai.K about getting a good deni out of a little piece of laud!' exclaimed Simp sou-why. I bought an acre of land from old MV. Ross, up ai goo«o Fair, planted one acre of.lt with potatoes and t’other with corn. ‘I thoughts mi said you. bought on’y one aero, Simpson?’ remarked a listener —how could you plant two?’ * Very easily, sir— I stood if upon the end and planted both sides of it.’ Thk Wife:— lf yotrwlsh to be happy and have peace in the family, never re prove your husband in company, never if that reproof bo over ho light If he be irritated speak not an angry word. In difference sometimes will produce un baopy consequences. Always feel an interest in what your husband under takes, and if )\e is perplexed or discour aged, assist him by your smiles and hap py words. If the wife is careful bow she conducts, speaks and looks,-a-thousand happy hearts would cheer and biighteu her existence, where now there ia noth ing hut clouds of gloom, sorrow and dis conlent. The wife, above all others, should strive to please her husband and (o make home attractive. Enw.—Tho greatest flood has the soonest ebb, tho sorest temper the most sudden culm, tho hottest love the coldest turn, and from the deepest desire often times ensues the deadliest hate. A wise man had rather'be envied for providence Mian pitied for prodigality. Revenge barketh only at stars, ami spite spurns at that she cannot reach. An envious man waxetb lean with the fatnessof his neigh bor?. Envy is tho daughter of pride, tho author of murder and revenge,.tho he-, ginner of secret sedition, - and the perpet ual tormentor of virtue. Envy is the filthy sediment of the .soul—a venom, a poison or quicksilver—whioh ennsumeth the flesh auddrieth up the marrow of the bones. The Squwß's lNi>nJi:sTioN. Old Squire H was a very successful and substpnllul farmer in an interior town of Massachusetts, and a more amazing eater never lived in any (own anywhere; ami especially much did ho eat when fresh pork was to be his nourishment. Well, at a certain time oiiuof his hogs had been killed. The next morning there was fresh pork for breakfast, and the old man ale most wonderfully. In the course of the forenoon ho ale Ida luncheon, consis ting of bread and butter, mfnetr pie, and cheese. At noon his dinner consisted of fresh pork, pickle, mince pie, and the usual accompaniments. Hla afternoon luncheon was like that of the forenoon. When he came homo to supper his favo lite dish had not been prepared us a part of that meal. The old man fretted and scolded tilt fresh pork was added to the substantiate. He ate voraciously as usual. In the evening ho toasted some cheese, buttered and ate U. ■ Just before going to bed he rusted a couple of apples and ate them. In the night he was taken se verely 111. The doctor was with him till morning, aMd nearly wrought a miracle in the old man’s, life. The next day Holies W , one of bis neighbors, went in to’condolo with the old squire on ids illness. ‘Faithful Bollea,’ said the old worthy, ‘ I like to have died last night. IMI never eat another roasted apple as long as 1 live. I never did love them very well, and last night I,ate only two, and they nearly killed me,'