jlirflCE-SOPT” M.IItKKT, SQUARE. J| ’% / •, , l JY, l| "V ' V ' la --s'-Two Hollars per year If paid strictly . V - * Malice: Two Dollarsahd Fifty Cents tf paid s.4^B^ hrp^ mrt nths{ after which Three Dollars fi n§BH' : " These terms will be rigidly ad- 1 j_i .. — : - ■ ■ : ; . . ’ , •_ ~ "* rv Instance. No subscription dm* ” ~ • : • : 1l > Mint ll nil anuarunes uro paid, unless ai CLAIJr AND nI /.; ST ATE AO EIfC Y. '\V>f. B . BUT BEK, .\TfrtUVRV AT Tj.Mr, i.rmn’illn 11'JitH 1 ’. Soni'h ITunovor Slre'ot ''"MSfe stamp. Wats? aniJ vSTays, r'eB h"a ll U I VA. I, OFAIitTHI! ,T EW STY LX Jb 11 A T S AND O A P S . suMrlhor lias just opened at Xo, 15 Xorlh , lT Simi, ii few doors North of the Carlisle *ii Hunk, one of the hugest anti best Stocks iTSitinl CAPS ever o He red In Carlisle. Iluis, Cnsslrnoro of till styles and ijnaliUes, Irims. dlirerent colors, and every descrip f*ifl Hats' now iiiiulc, Himkiird and Old Fashioned Brush,con ton hand and made to order, all warranl m-psiif/tfacl.lon. A. full asset tmeul of MKX’S. 1 , BOY'S, AND OUII.DUFN’S. HATS. ealso added to my StocK, notions of dliler- QiU.cmjsisllneor * . ;ja» aNDGENTBEMEN’S STOCKINGS >Stcspcu(lrr.i, siun, Pencil*. . 1 liraul, Snritio iS 'ilk. Uiubrclla.s, «tc [ME hboaus and tobacco ALWAYS ON HAND, rail, ami examine my stock as I feci 'entofplrasinyull, besides saving you mo- JOHN A, ICF.LLEII, A pent, No. lo North Hanover Street. ITS AND CAPS ! f.HJ wxs V. A NtOB 11A I* Oil CAP ?. irso. DON'T FAO.TO C.Vtli on J. G. GALLIC), .VO. ‘ill., IFFb’V MA IX STliluluT, .j.iu i)_* the lineal assortment of hat's and gaps Mii’dit to-Carlisle* lie takes .great plcus iluvitim; his old friends and customers, Iww oiiis, to his splendid >-ock Just, ro .fi,au New York and ‘Phiindolplila, con pn part of line jIMa AND UASS'IMEIIE KATS, - U i|j« miiciv ur run*- »"•' «•'» ,mi stvie all oi which he will sell at the fii!.‘» Vvpv.i. Also, Ids own manufacture • uhvay-son hamJ.and ns M.v.'.'UF.umuiEi) to oudkk. t>'si. for coloring Unts i kin.lsol Woolen Uoo.ls.nvurcoiils, nt hlcm nolit*t% (as lie colors .every "'role land ;i no -it wisonuhlb termu. Also, a. line lot 01, (brands of TOBACCO Aff-D CIGARS dres to call thoattenUon nAs fixture SHADES AND GDOUICS Ac., Ac. Jib and Terra Colta Pipe, JUIMNEY TOPS and FLUES, A ll kinds ol RA S S WORK and Water constantly on hand. IRK IN TOWN OR COUNTRY promptly attended to. -inniPdliite attention «iven to orders tor iul or work Irom a clislanco.-Qr advantages wo avo prepared to I'ili COPPErR WORK ; l Ucwlpllims for Still Houses nml other ?»es lU'humo or at »v distance. COPPER PIPE stied lo order either drawn or brazed, 3331& k § & 3 *P. 1. 70—ly 'RESH AND PRIME 1 CLEAN, FAT AND JUICY SMITH’S VITEi SALOONj IN THE VOI.HNTEEH UUU.DINO _ f South Market square , Johuny’rtmlih Ih now open»»K m'peiior Oys rec-ivod twice t\ wcelc, wiiloli lie o*ll* ut ln price. , , hlilt-s lira kepi neat and olonn and fnr with all itiii necessary accoinpanlmen *. supplied with ilrst. quality of 1 il-ftwi notice. The eelehlaled NI;-\VAlUv { . «mi massf.y & coLLiNs’.wiUiAUku ,‘ aAIiK on draught, , 7 | r « lihu a trial uiui ho will endeavor to give •*«»faciion to all, Hc.is-o-iv JNO. D. SMITH. L. STERNER & BRQ., VVERY and SALE STABLE, JWWEEN HANOVER AND HKDKOUI' ST., w THE REAR OF RENTS! HOUSE CARLISLE, PA. "Mins lilted up thdstuhlo with new rarrl- I uni proparml to lurnlhn . f ii*outa m reasonable ratea. Parties taii.cn to S“9 1 rn the “nnugb* April a 5. 1U7,-ay BY BRATTON & KENNEDY, Dr» GOODD D RY GOODS! HARPER’S tioui/i Hanover >S(. y ■NmV™sTSoK”oF7.FALY goods' u^uEii^s^ 111 '* ,o my i,ntr,,,,, “ ,ini W, DRY.GOODS, opposite Z'X? 0 , 1 " °;' cry l ”iinnh, n„<l nnt PXCL-Ilcd In quality, beauty, and cheapness. I have now open a beautiful stock of FASHIONABLE DIIF.SS GOODS, cnm„r Mi,B n nek Silks, Itlm-k mid l o jred All -11. "i" 1 t-'idnreil All ’\«iil Ptip i.M i'.i i 1" '''', 11 , 1 ! 1 V ,,1-,rc,t Delalm-s, Ulm-k im I tiijlnred Mm-lnnes, UK-li J>i a |,i I>i,,,llns. Her \P*s ; olouvk, I* ino Tmnf.so, Umnlmzines, Pure Mnlmln* now brand of Double Wain Black Al pnon.for beamy ol cnlor. wHght of texture, and m irf ‘ f 1 ta cos 110 * 05l(l °f uuy Alpacas In tbo [all. Car- ntliu'lill’is' 1 ’ 10 1,1 nt! " - stylus nf Stripes . Long and Square Thibet Shawls, all of which 1 odor exceedingly cheap. .T LAW is Mint ol BLANKETS, While and Gray.’ Bargains guaranteed. FLANNELS, Dun rlf Dmfal i mother Hertford iD-avftry variety. I'ADIKS' IJLOAKrMGS-Hlnclt llnavov*. VVlva f r Cl' W | ‘ tn < ' o, ' ,u ’ !0 - v - Klimnols. Fluids WATER-PROOF! WATER-PROOF! Housn Fiirnlslilim Dry Goods, ■ Table Linens Napkins and White Goods. All tho popular brands of Domestics, at micas to meet the lowest quotations *• Morlnn Vests, whirls, mid Orairets, for Ladies Misses. Men mid Hoys, ' Knitting \arns. Zephyrs, Germantown Wool I “jsi m Wool, ami linlmoial Yarns. Hamburg Malaga and Insertings. Thread Laces. Giihmo liace.s. Linen nn.i Laeo Collars, Kid Gloves IJandkerclnefs, Kell, Balmoral.and Moon Skirts’ Corsets, ami a general variety of notions. CLOTHS, AND GASSIMERES, Punt! Furs! Furs! No hesitancy in saying that the prices will he as low as any in town. 'All woods bought, at the head of the ninrkct, for cash, and superior inducements win e otter ed nt tho Cheap Cush .store, . . Cor. llanovn • and Pom fret. M#., Oat. 20 70 ™ o4 ' A - ,lA[U>li “' H woods: Wo have just returned from the city, with another very heavy stock ol Goods, making our stock4ho largest ever held In Carlisle, hy uhv othei House. We have extra good and thick BLACK SILKS, COLORED SILKS. •SILK POPLIN?-!, of all similes. SILK ANJ> WOOL EPINGLINES WOOI. REPS. WOOL PLAIDS, A LPACCAS AND I)K LAIN ES &OU&NZNG- GOODS, all kinds. PLAIN AND FANCY SACKING FLANNELS, WATER PROOFS AXI) CLOAKINGS, CLOTHS AND CASSIMERES, QUILTS AND COVERLETS, Carpets mill. Oil~Cioths f D O IV E S T I 0 O O O O S In great variety Shawls, Gloves, Hosiery, Ac, the very besuml most humlsonio SASH RIBBONS,. in tni> town nil of-wlik-li wo w selling cheaper anil nt ninnllor nrollls Hum any other big store ''Give usl. 1 willsave a good deal of money In your purchases. EEJSTZ & CQ Nov. 10 io. rpHE OLD ESTABLISHED iTovB ini mm STORE, James HacCtonigal, Wo. PR,- South Hanover St., (Adjoining Uln.lv i Kona’ Grocery more.) fAItWHI.E. I’A , r....- mi experience or over thirty yearn In lit mid Tinware business, In Carlisle, the nn S , U 7 <i fee hc« nlldenl Unit his rocommenda S'f, ’sinvoahas sou... weight with tint com iminiiy. Ho now pliers the celebriueil . EMPIRE gas burner «j!«o™£ K ;^l\ m [l,J'wor™'"o,lG U uiß SSu. n.| cteil m Ihe lloo'- ami strikes llm feet instead Ktlipcuii m i t i»nUrulv consumed; all ** UN AL.u.n i*. | , huVO US ed them. All r? col, V» n . 5 H\?r cdi reinsured for itireo yours. tIu TV*f l n.Gv o not work satisfactorily may be 'rVtinmlh 5 Also mo hdlowlug well known COOK STOVES: NIMUOI), mQNsIDEa. * A riAiloND SI-ATB and others Thei-o are 'dj lld» "imuiuuliy. and their uslim them. SPOUTING AND ROOFING. ill,-d to In town or country. Xtepnlrlngdoui) MrOONICfAI.. Oel. 1:1,71) —Oni jin. kl. South Hanover 31 rjUIE OLD ESTABLISHED Furniture ami 33ecU1inp: Warerooms OP H. It. LEWIS ar. '..SSTor'^ I’urlorSultsln r » s ln 0 n varnish; 1-y; Wu V/nm[iure n l styph , HeiMlng >i»‘* M , aL v»r!«tiH HIS" ; Hi.a’per Hum Auction prices,’ Carnots, every '' ar lnr(l(1 y, m will lug elbowhero. 11. 11. LKWIf*. No. HSOond US I Murkelbt Next door to corner of Fifteenth Street. March 3,71—Sm DRY GOODS!! The death of Alice Cary, lends a peculiar In* tercst to the following poem fro}n her pen, ex* traded from her last volume: Th£ day Is closing, Ah, why should you weep Tis thus that Ocul gives ,1 see the wide water So deep and yp black— Love walls mo beyond it— I would not grf back ! I wnulil* not go bad; Whore It’s Joy gleam— Where oven It:- dreaming We know that wo dream; For though life-filled for mo All measures of bliss; Has Itan> Ihing bettor Or sweeter than this? I would hot go bad; To the torment of fear— To the wastes of nneouifnrt When home Is so neat. Each night is a pi Ison bar, Broken ami gone— Each morning a golden gate On—farther on ! On, on toward the city So*diinlng ami fair; For lie Unit hath loved mo-' Died for mo—ls there.’ , Since. tho result of Governor Amy’s explorations in Now Mexico was made public, there has boon no discovery of more interest to the American arclucolo gist. than the one allowed to'have boon made recently in Town,on tho lino of tho projected Dubuque, and .Minnesota rail road. Tlio workmen, while outraged in excavating for tho road, in the limestone at the foot of n bluff, ore said to have, come upon a fiat stone covered with strange characters. This removed, open ed the way into a parage about four feet wide and six feet high, leading directly into (he heart of (ho hlulf. At tho dis tance of about fifty feet frorut.be entrance another stone, similar to the Hr.-t, had to be removed, when 0 large chamber re vealed itself, cut out of the solid roek, about twenty five feet square and twenty feet high. Thefloor was hard an 'smooth, while the walls anil roof were carved in a sort of rnde basso relievo . with figures of birds, trees; stars, serpents and char iot I ®. The soul It wail was adorned "with a representation of the sun. and imme diately below this the figure of n man in tho net of stepping-nut of ft boat, and holding in Ins hand a dove.” »So far the .revelations were not very different from many previous 'ones in similar eaves and rock-eh am hers through out our western country, But the most curious part, of the discovery was .yet to come, ami one (hut. would go far to sup port (he theory of many savant# with regard to I lie physical degradation of the ni'*e. A Hut slab on tho floor of theoav ern being raised, revealed below si vault led with of uuusur.l size, the largest being seven feet eight inches high by actual measuiemenl. By the side'of each skeleton was.net a small vase filled with yellow earth, Ivueath which-wore mai'tetiV'ft’' Tm) STrPiCTnns'wero pliicr'il a sen i elrele towards the southwest. Whn this lljst nml unknown ram* of giants can have been we leave it In our untiqnaiics to eonieeture. Perhaps they were a bramih of that mysterious ami cullivati’il people w.ln,m the Atzeca are pahl In have swept nwaynml ieslioyed in tlieirgreatliouira to the plains of Mexico. Or they inav Imre hern relalctl to the ■Teal sleek of. Hie Natchez, which onoe licit! sway all alone lilt- Mississippi. The fprmoil sun on tlm walls of tile ohainher would indicate that they worshipped that luminary, nmi Hit*.representation of tlio man with tin* dove, slopping one of n iioat, may Re an nliiiHion io.tlqit iraiiilimi of tlie deluge, which, in one lonn or an other all of our aboriginal peoples have heen ’round to liold. lint to whatever fantilv this, (orgolten race may have bo lungefl, ills certain they had altained n higher degree of civilization than was reached by those who came after them. In Hie lingers of Ihe largest skeleton was clasped a pearl ornament, and tnuies of c'olli were found crumbled at the feet of I lie remains. What is slill more impor tant and curinus, many copper imple ments were found, thus seeming to show Unit Ihe Lake Superior mines had been worked at a very early period. If tlie accounts we have received ol (his remarkable cave are strictly true, in vestigation may derive from it important additions to mVr stock of knowledge re garding tlie.primitive races of this con tinent, and we are glad io know that the remains are In he removed to Idle Institute of Al ls and Sciences at Dubuque.—-Acw York Times. Mr. Charles M-Lne was a well known 'criminal lawyer of Roe.hesler, N. Y Ho summed up a case with a superfluity nl gesture, and an affluence nf perspiration, that would have astonished even John Graham in his vehement and melting moods. Lee wnsdefeiidingnn old revolu tionary soldier lor passing a forged prom issory- note for some tf.TO. There was hardly Ihe faintest -doubt of his guilt; hut Lee contrived lo get 1 efere the jury the fact Unit, the prisoner, then a dare-devil hnv of nineteen, was one of (lie storming party that followed Mad Anthony Wnj no in his desperate light upon Stony loint, and helped to carry the wounded General into tlie fort, during Unit terrible frav. In summing up, Lee, after getting over tlie uglv points of the evidence as he host ennhti (ben n'nderlook to carry the jury hv escalade, ira the ground of tlie prison er's revohilionnryaervlc-a. He described in graphic language tlie bloody attack on Stony Point, tlm impetuous ynlm of Wayne, tlie daring exploit of his e.lient, and'wound up with this stunning Inter rogatory : "Gentlemen of tlie .Tory, will -•on send to Hie Slate Pnson. (nr passing a contemptible thlny dollar forged note, an old hero of three scorn and ten, who, in iris youth, cheered Hie heart- of his country in the darkest hour of the revo Inlioo, hv storming Stony Point? ThfH was a poser. The chins of some of (lie jury quivered, but .the foreman, a blurt' fanner, put on an air which seemed to sav, that forming Stony Po nt was a good' thing enough iu its line, hut win t lind it to do with passing this forged note. After being out a couple of hours, tlm jiiry returned to Hie Court roam, and went through the usual formula ; "Gentlemen of the Jury, have you agreed upon a verdlol?" “‘We have." , , "Do yon- find the prisoner at the tan U *iNo , t, < ’MiMTv!’ , 6e«'»'ie he stormed Stony Point.' ''■■thundered Ihe stalwart foreman wlm it wqs afterwards learned, was the Lid to come to nn agreement, ■ * 'l’ho luiilhMice (ippliunleti, the '•ner rap -I)e,| lo order, the Dlslilcl Attorney ob ected In the renordlngof the vc-rd'et. «n<l llm Judge sent the jury out agaln, tel ng tie foreman in n rather sharp tone,, that hey must lind all micnndilnimd y n of nniltv or not guilty. After an ah-ence of a*few hdnnies, they returned, when : tlm loreman rendered a simple v^ ,lic | ;‘ , not guilty, adding however, as he drnpt 1 imo ids sent, “it was a good Hung, tlm , i Imlire for tlie old revolutionary cuss ihaHie stormed Stony Point.' ’■-Stanton s . Pouch and Par. To youno ladies—choose your words nlways, but never obow them. Ipoctical. PARTING SOUP, IpKcllancuits. DISCOVERY OF AH EXTINCT RACE. A PATRIOTIC JURY, CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, APRIL G, 1871 GERMAN SOCIAL LIFE. All engagement is unhimlly a great - phase in every woman's life, but it Rooms to ho the epoch of German existence.— . There IS no mystery, no concealment .■ about it. As soon as,the betrothal tabes place; It is nnn.ounccr to the world—to the private acquaintances by cards, and sometimes by advertisement In the pa* pers; to society in geperal by the happy ~);.air.,ai>peat;ijjgJn...pahlic..lsnl;c.il,a^),vs,.^,. The''young lady is hound to look as if slip were in.(he seventh heaven, and gener ally clasps both hands tightly round her lover’s arm,as If to prevent all possibility of escape. She must also loudly proclaim his perfections and her happiness, have no hesitation in speaking about him, nor In kissing him before folks; reserve in the*e ca«os Is not understood. The gen tleman seems lb take it as easily as lie can, hnt, as usual, is far more awkward in his new situation than his fair one. After all. it Is not comfortable for a poor man, who has always been accustomed •lo walk.aione and swing his arms to find them hampered by a girl clutching at thorn, ami to have her crinoline always beating about his legs. Then, if she/he short. he must not walk upright, he must go.crooked, as If drawn down hy the In teresting weight hanging on him; If. she. be tail, her hor.net trimmings tickle him so, and he can never keep stop with his fair companion. It requires a great deal of affection to smile under these .circum stances. Until a girl is engaged she never lakes any man's arm. I wonder that the young ladies do not Jenrn how to do If.in’ their dancing lessons; it would he a great, blessing' to their lovers. Their mothers cannot teach them; lor as sit'll as the honeymoon is< verman and wlfegrt their separate ways. The wonder is how these attachments are'formed, the sexes have so little intercourse, exoept in the ball room. Fathers and brothers spend their .evenings in (heir respective beerhouses with their own sets, the mothers ami sis .lers flock in troops to their coffee-houses, Tia-ey .have their separate amusement- .. and pleasures, until ‘suddenly it couple fall In love soim-how-, ami. then they are never seen apart; they become Insepara ble, like a poker and tongs, knife and , fork, or anv other Implement Which is useless without its fellow.- As'long as the gentleman remains in the town, hjs charmer dresses much better than usua'; j but if lie must leave, she renounces all t society, or if she cannot, help “ breaking rcHoluliotr,'' It is essential that she should make a •• guy’’ of herself. A peculiar i toilette—covered neck and sleevgs, in a * hall-room, tire ns much a sign of betrothal as our widow’s cap is of bereavement. . rnCIOENTS OF THE WAR. A Frenchwoman writes from Sodium as follower- “This aftornnon (here is coming- a young woman from 'Thelonne. She ap peared .for the first lime on Friday, and never.can,l forget what I felt when this young woman - presented herself. She was pale; she did not weep— she had al ready wept .overmuch—hut there was such an* indescribable expression in her look ! She told me herstnry. *1 am the only one left of seven. 1 ; But .where are the others?’ X asked. ‘All dead ; they, have died in the war. That day in I’az oil Is my father-in-law was shot, and my mother-in-law died of the shock. As tor me. I had ’read in the papers that it was.belter not. leave one’s house, and I lemalned in mine with my husband and three children. They came and set fire to It, and I then lost.all consciousness Suddenly, on returning to myself, x that I was in (ho etdlait. T huard-tUe-arMA from them. As I (timed to one side, I found my baby, eight months old, dca'.l.. I looked'on the oilier side, the second was- also dead. Then my hu.diaud was' ilv-'n and led from oik j plac-e to another iiiir 1 1 escaped to Thdon.m? to rny parcmts, with a child; six years o'd, in my arms. My .husband escaped. hut survive*) only a little while, for he became 111, and both ho and my little onbdled from the shock •they sustained.’ And the big tears camo slowly faith, and dropped down her pule thin cheeks. She is hut twenty seven. There was the silence- oj death in tin* room, whilst the poor young victim told her tragic tale. “This very day there came four women at once,.to mi treat ns to give them .work. When I asked them whfd-lier they Inn! received help from the.‘i’ureau de I»ion faisanee,’ they exclaimed, ‘ Oh, we have always worked ; we, have never received heipfrom anj* society. Oh, mademoiselle, for God’s sake, give us some work,* how ever little; if we earn but foiirsous a day, it will lie butter limn nothing.’” This ia hut a faint picture of the horrors *of war, as practiced by two of the most civilized and Christian nations of Europe. When will men put away this relic i t a barbarous age, and learn to dwell together in peace and harmony ! . A Woman’s Thick—Tho nntlior (if "The Sietre of Melz,” a volume just inib- IjMiofi in London, tells this story: —They tell n strange lale here, and one which I never could unfold plainly. For many days a litixom voting damsel came in and out of the lines at this point laden each morning with a full basket of vege tables, and returning each nlabt with her basket empty but apparently heavy. Her pans was duly sipmed, so there was no attempt to stop her. One nijjht her basket was no heavy she could hardly carry it, and her back assumed rather more than airracefu! Grecian bend under its weight. Tho courteous soldiers insis ted her of Iter burden—lt was heavy indeed. It was filled with those new chassepot cartridges we itnd been so industriously making at ifelz. Often had we found of late that the ene tm 'a outposts bad tired at higher ranges than usual. oTen had we found a chimse pot bullet at our feet or in our wounded. Arms we knew they had captured in areal (limnlilies on this very spot, and at Sedan, but wo often wondered where they found tho ammunition. Little, till ■then did wo think that we hud been ma king it fur them, but they utiliz'd our industry most unpleasantly.- As for the young woman, she was ccjual to the- oc casion, While the astonished sentries were unpacking her basket, site tumbled (Item and it over, ami sped away down the bill to Lanvailiere, and before they could recover themselves and their arms she was some distance ahead, dodging behind the long tows of poplars winch vet lined the rocks outside the lines. An lit tempt at pursuit was prevented by the lire of the Prussian sentries, who, unlike onr own. seemed always to ho wide awake at Iboir mil posts and between an ger and mirth wo walked back to Metz again, Fat AiSD TrriN GinbS.—Are you too fat? Fat loss food, with a larger propor tion of meat; rise early in the morning, and exercise much. This will reduce your weight. Even diminishing the (luanllfy of food alone, without any other change, will he sure to do it. It is Im possible that excessive fat, either in horse or man, can long hold out against a per- Bistent reduction in the quantity of food. And if the reduction be gradual and ju dicious the strength is not lessened, hut is steadily Increased, until the excess m fat is all gone. . ... , And I will add after two or three days there will he no seme of hunger, until the excess has been removed. •Are yon too thin? Sleep more by going to bed eaiTer; do not overwork; eat freely of oat meal porridge. Graham mush, and hulled corn; and all with milk and sugar. Cultivate a cheerful, happy temper. “Thk ways of imui.” anys the iimhddc Mim Smllhera, "are dnrk »•><■ past limi ini' out. Just when you think lie is p'ohig In propose, lie kirks up lilh heela ami oil he mica.” She auys she .would have liei-n married a dozen times had It hot been for the inconstancy and wickedness of mam Unfortunate Miss Smithers I DR. J. C. AYER'S ADDRESS. The' Legislature of Massachusetts, hav ing, gran tod a charter for the town of Ayer, In that State, named after the world-re nowned medicine man, the town was duly Inaugurated, with uppro;\rlato cere mony, on Momlay, March 0, amid the Dooming of cannon, ami the roar of mus ketry, witnessed by thousands of people. Dolovv we give the address of Dr, Ayer, thc vast assemblage : Ladies find Gentlemen—Qi\ the western coast of Scotland, where It slopes into the Irish sea, a river, rising on I he mountain of the Ini.or land, winds down among the hills and empties into the Frith oi Clyde. From remote time it has been called Ayr, from an old Scotch word “ A.vry,” moaning an eagle’s ifest, the river of the eagle’s nesr. Near its mouth and a- contiguous harbor, long stood a hamlet, which became a royal burg oi; town, named •from the river, ami now about mie-third as as Lowell, iho city, of Ayr. .For more than a thousand years it lias been noted in the history of Scotland. During the wars of Robert Bluer, it. \vas one of I is resorts, and was especially .favoted by him, because he was there coned of leprosy, Oliver (.from • well made it. one of the depots and head quarters of his army, in ills.attack upon Scotland, and one of his old forts Is now the Citadel-'of Ayr. But above all its distinctions, Ayr was the birth place of the poet Bums. And what a poet ! ' What a voice has he given to ill I tiie e.nrlearments of home ! How has he hallowed the cdtage and ail it. covers -weansand wife, patches and pov erty, beans, barley, ale, hardship aiid (he poor man’s toil. How he wraps with tenderne-s whatever lie names, even Ills bleak leagues of pasture, the stubble field. ice, snow, sleet and rain, brooks, hinis, mice, thistles and heather. His Brony Doom,' John Anderson, my Joe, John, Anld Lang Syne, and Highland. Mur.w roll round the world in ever ringingsy.m- phony with what. Is purest and best in human nature. His songs woo and meit the hearts of youth and maiden-, bring solage to lho sorrowing, ami courage lo t o overburdened by their lot. His in spiration lias set the afflictions to music in strains that are I m mortal. lf • No oilier one man ever made a lan guage clas-ic, but ho bus rendered that lowland Scotch, a Doric dialect of fame. The name of his home and his beloved river Ayr was lifted, on the wings of his pathos, and now I he approaching traveler ■earns to reach tbe;spot his genius has anctlfied. Along the borders of the sea, in a par lleiogram, ami surrounding Ihetown, Is county of the same name—Ayrshire., It would weary your patience to hear the histmy of my ancestors from one an cient John of Ayr, then Jqhn Ayr, down through the centuries, to this Ayer-now before you ; through their vicissitudes of poverty ami plenty—of fortune anil mis forlum-; how they have intermarried with England, Ireland and.Sc-'tland, and later with the. Americans, who are an excellent mixture of them all. 2>fU .Friend* —You have eho-am the name 1 inherited for your town with an extra ordinary unanimity, and have thereby conferred an honor upon me, the propel aeknow.cdgment of which I do not Ice! fully able lo express- . HuM.heg yon to iu assured that it is appreciated, and that It will be gratefully lemeo.bered with a living interest iu your prosperity while life remains to me, and. I trust, beyond that by my children after me. If this name has become noted among the many that are worthier around you” that js i/r.Mal.le.diua.ln it*. -----vr— r~ within a lew centimes an-'.he civi lized nations of the globe were pent upon tlio Eastern continent. Two or three hundred years ago they leaked over into this; .few and fearfully at 11 i-.t, then more and more, hutalwaysin their sett lenient-: timidly hugging the Atlantic coa«t.— Within the 'ast two or three generations they have burnt out. ns it were, and.over run these va-M continents of the We.-.t. Now.they are scattered here, and possums these measureless stretches of mountains and valleys, hills, plains,, forests, and prairies, with the boundless pampas ami mountain ranges of South America. For mer genc-ipions lived In villages and towns, thickly, settled. together, where •physicians were plent.wvnd near at hand. Now, the people are widely scattered, in many sections of these many countries -For great numbers the timely treatment of physicians cannot he ha’d ; over large tracts’ of country -good and competent physicians cannot bo-had - at all. They cannot visit patients enough many miles apart lo live by'their profession, imr can they carry medicines enough with them on hoiae’lmck tor their requrremenla.— Hence has arisen in these modern ’lines, a necessity for remedies near at hand, with directions for their use-; a present recourse for relief in, the exigencies ot sickness, when no other aid is near. It is a now necessity consequent upon the changed conditions of human life —a want. I have spent my ycais in supplying, and I will tell yon something of its ex tent. Our laboratory-makes every day some 030,000 portions of dq-es of »nr pre parations. These are taken by somebody. Here is a nnmbereqmd to the population ot fifteen cities as large as Lowell, taking them every day ((or sickness keeps no Sabbaths.) nor for once only, hut again and again, year alter year, through near- ly one third of a century. Wo nil Join in the Jokes about medi cines. ns wo do about tlie Doctor's mission to kill, tho clergyman's insiituetity, ami (tie lawyer’sclieating. Yet eacii of these labors among the-most serious realili“S of life Sickness and its attendant snfier ing are no joke, neither is the treatment This system of transportable relief, to he made available to the people, must keep ils remedies iresii in llieir memories. This is done by advertising. Murk its extent. An odvenisoment, tak ing the run of the newspapers with which wo contract (some I.tJOU aniumily) is struck oil in such numbers, that when piled upon eaclrother, iliitcise, like the loaves of a hook, the thickness through them is sixteen mites, in addition, it lakes some seven millions of pamphlets mid twelve millions of circulars to meet the public demand for tins kind of infor mation. Onr animal .issue nf pamphlets' alone, laid sniid upon eacii other, make a -pile eight and mio quarter miles high. The circulars, measured endwise, reacli L.RIM miles, and these assertions are mal tersof mathematical certainly. Whatever theestimalioii in which these publications may lie held here, they reach the fire sides of millions upon millions of men who do treasure and regard them, and wiio in their trials do heed the counsel they bring. Not only over these great Western con tinents, but throughout that other land so little known to yon, under onr feet, tho Australian continent, there are few villages as largo as this which are not familiar with the name you have chosen, and employing lire remedies that bear it. Tims, gentlemen, have I striven in my bumble sphere to render some service to my fellow men, and to deserve aiming tbeafiliciud and iinfortiinaiesoniu legatd for the name which your kind partiality hangs on these walls around me. Wo mny look forward with confident hope to the renown yon-will gather under it, and. the prosperity, which there is- reason, to trust, the future lias In store for you.— Situated ns you are here, on one oi tlio main arteries between the We.-tnnd Las' , between tho great industries oi the plough mix! the -spindle, you must aiii la their exchanges.'ami thrive with them. Koon these channels will he opened wide, and nonring through .your precinct* streams of men and meichuudiht* that will need your furtherance, and must contribute to bonded 1 hero in the'centre of New England, to what dearer sp>l can yon turn that men inhabit? Beginning Ino r |,.|i wiili the honors of your motherdown wlio u e influence through her schools and ■ her scholars, la ol Itself an Inheritance, with such examples as Lawrence, Bout well, Hoar, what mny you not hope for of usefulness in the councils of Uio Slate and nation ? (’ontrast our condition with tliatof the European nations, alternately torn and impoverished with wars, credit It as you may to the better education of the people, ami yon will realize the •value of the ex ample old mother-Groton has set you, so worthy of yonrambltion to follow. Dnild schools for your children and find talent to leach them, then intelligence ami in tegrity in prosperous and happy homes will be your sure iVward. -* Associated ns you have made me with your weal ami woe. t wM»T might he alt lowed to contribute/f’om my means, such .as thoy 'are, something toward this first foundation of the public good. Gentlemen,* I hayo detained yon too long. Oppressed with the fear, that. Ido not deserve the distinction you heslow, I pray God to make mo worthier, and to smile upon you with His perpetual bles sings. MIRAMAR RAILROAD, ■At a large and enthusiastic meeting of the friends of this road, held nt'Ceiitre ville, March'.2s, al which, on motion of John Moore, o-q., the fallowing gentle men were elected as o(Deers; ’• President, John S, Kelso; Vice Pro l *!- denis, John Hutchison, Peter Oritt, K. I». Eyslor, Filler Birriitz, Wm Ofiey, Daniel Keller, sr-. Samuel Huston, John Mellingvr. Win. McLaughlin, Col. Wm Gracey, Michael. Sea vers, Daniel Hollin gcr Jacob Chlsnelt, Geo. Zinn and Wm- A. Hutchison ; Secretaries, Capt Win. M, Shriver and John Zinn, e-q. ( Seveial speeches having been made, setting lortn tlur object.of the meeting, the following resolutions were read and unanimously adopted :.• lir.vjlrcd, 'That thethanks of tins meet- ing, ami t he citizens of Cumberland Val ley, are tendered to his Kxceile.ncy, John W. G- ary, for the encouragement he lias given ih in onr enterprise. Rewired, That our thanks are duo io Se’iiarois White, 'Mumjna and otheis of the Senate and House; also his Honor, Judge Graham. Wm.'ll. Miller, e.-q., Gen. Todd and others of Carlisle, for the Interest they have'manifested in regard to the building of the-road; also to the Rennsyivan brand Heading railroads for the eneoiragement they have given nk. Resolved, That our Senator. A. G. Miller, and Representative, John i». Lej dig.. are requested—and wo can assure them that nine tenths of the citizens join ns in tins request—to oppose tin' passage of a bill, chartering a company to make a railroad from IMflsburg to some point on the Cumberland Valley -railroad, knowing it to have heyn gotten up to defeat the Miramar railroad, and thereby prevent the (level -pinout of the south side of the Cumberland Valley. Resolved, That we recommend to pur ■iends in the dillerentjownships, to call leetlnga and increasp their.subscriptions » tile capital stock. Penn township aving subscribed thirty, five thousand •liars which was thought sulTicient will, need be, increase the amount to sixty (hmi-aml. knowing that this road, when made with the Immense deposits of iron line water power, anil rich agricultural valley‘idodg its whole route will create a business for itself that will mike it pay a large interest on the money invested to build it. Rv.nf>hxd, That. this road is not Intend ed as an opposition to any other road, and we believe would Lnenu-e rather limn diminish the (ravel on the Cninherland Valley railroad, andadd a heavy tonnage to the I'tmnsyl vanda and Head ini; rail roads m» in tlm -Telegraph arid Patriot of Ihu city <>f Hairi.'lnn'i'v ■ Pit.lk' Mk.v as .Ni:wspapi:u Win tj.;ks —Many of onr public nn-n, says C’«»l. Korney,' in his “.Anecdotes,” arc capital •amateur editors He gives the toll -wing* examples: “Thomas H. Hentoii was a valiialile and vigorous contributor to the Globe, in r t.he war upon the United Slates Ihink. His style was trenchant and.ele* valed. and.ills fads generally impregna ble. .lames Buchanan was a frequent, writer in -my old paper, the -Lancaster Illicitifivucn' and .foiiynai.- and in The Pcmun/lvanUin, Mis diction _wa-*.coldand unsympathetic, hut. exact, (dear and con densed ■ His'precise ami elegant chir****-* rnph.v was the delight nt the compositors. Judge Douglas wrote little, but suggested much. His mind teeim-d with ' points.’ I never spent an hour .with him widen did notrfuniish mo with new ideas He was .a treasure to an editor, because he possessed the rare faculty of throwing new light upon every • subject in tho shortest, possible time. Ex*AtP.rney General, .f. S, Black would have made a superb jnu rnalist, and was a ready and useful contributor. His style is tew, fresh and scholarly. What a .pity to see such gifts waited in a strife over the urave ot a former associate and friend ! Caleb Gushing is allot her slatersnmn who once delighted in editorial writing, ami still occasionally varies hU professional toil hv the same agreeable relaxation. 1 have known him to stand bn to his tall de A sk, and dash oil column after column on* foreign and domestic politics, on art, on tlnunce, with astonishing rapidity and ease. Trr.vT ready ami refined suavity which adds grace to n favor and takes the .sling from refusal, and can evade without snubbing an Improper request, Is more common in someolder countries than our own—yet we sometimes 11ml a felicitous example of it here. In a certain town that wo wot of, flourishes a ladywhose charitable friends assert that she is a hit of a Bohemian, and will sometimes ap propriate in a jaunty olf hand way. other thing*' besides invitations. Sim has good physical points, and Is vain of her small and shapely hands. One of tho guestsat an evening- party had met with an acci* dent.which somewhat deranged her get up ami spoiled her gloves. Several of the company—including Mr*. Sponge— were putting her to rights in the dress in,r room, and the lady of the house pro dneed a fresh box of Alexandres to make good the chief damage. “ Gloves I” ex claims Mrs. Sponge,“give me a pair too! “My dear.” replies Urn hostess, quietly withdrawing the box. ** they are much 100 large for you.”— Oalaxy, Ilm-Ai. Dukssks.—The dresses worn by the Queen .and the Princess of Wales at the openim; of the Jtrilish Parliament, are thus described ; Her Majesty wore a Mack terry velvet dress, witli a train trimmed with miniver and crane, and a lorn' wlille tulle veil, surmounted by a small diamond cimvn, Her Majesty also wme a diamond necklace, with cross and brooch. 1 lie iibband and star of Hie Order nf the Garter, the Orders of Victoria and Albert, and Louise of Prussia ami the Saxe Coinin' and Gotha homily Order. The Princess of Wales wore a dress ol violet velvet, trimmed with a lighter shade (if satin, and llounce of line w hile Itrussels lace; ornaments, corsage, neck lace and hiaceielsof pearlsand diamonds, I,e,iil dress, a tiara ol diamonds, feathers, and veil; oideia, Victorina and Albert, mid the Danish Order. A BANKtttt, whom Talleyrand had re ceived several times, wrote to him asking an audience. It wusixranled, Talleyrand was then Minisiernf Khrcntn Allan's. It was rumored that George.lU. was dead. Wen* the rumor inn*, the Taris l* f VIM SL * would have seen all Hiefunds go up. T he hue her,soon alter making hln appearance, indiscreetly confessed that he came to as certain the degree of conlhlence to he put In (ho rumor. Talleyrand replied with thu gravest air—“ Homo people say the king of England Is dead; others nay he Is not dead: aa tor myself—l am lathing to von coiilldontlatly, anti beseech you not to compromise me—l neither believe one nor the other.” TiiE Siamese twins are a hundred and twenty years old—sixty*each. VOL. 5T.--NO. 43 lo.~.ttzc~t.C. SOCIAL EQUALITY AT THE STATE CAPITAL. Tho Harrisburg oonespondent of the .S\inday Mercury gives tho following ac count of a scene at a negro ball in one of the bote's of that city: “On Wednesday night thodu*ky beau ties ami-sable braves of ouf city ami neighboring towns assembled In tliespa cious dining room of tho Stale'.Capital HoteMo ‘trip ihe light fantastic.’ Delic ious music, lovely ladies ami gallant men nmilu tho dat cing a sight to look upon and enjoy. Our limes are strange, and therefore the galaxy of inky nymphs at tracted others besides the beaus of tln>ir own color. Like silver stars peeping through tho blank clouds tho beaming faces of our radical politicians shown among the moving masses of ehony.— Along the wall sat the herd of Ilepubli- > can legislators.-while oh the lloor in prom inence stood Senator Ililllngfolt ami Ue pre-putative Reincohl,.the first trusting to Ethiopia support in the race for Auditor (General, by declaring that if ever ho danced, here would lie .seek for conge niality. and the other whispering In dni- obtain! amatory tones. {Stupendous Fatly Smith, hia whole countenance-glistening? with delight and Iris huge aides Hulking with merriment "Capered about like a fa'ryi showing his list of engagements to evince how succe-sful he was In conquer ing the hearts of sooty damsels. Every where stood groups of Rads ami colored ladies mutually charmed. And in the dance the colors mingled—no oil and water elements in those pure, spirits.— Hero stood Mon, Wm. J. Ovens, Ser geant at arms of the House, with an ace of spades partner; next was Mr. Gillespie, of (Ijo Pennsylvania Railroad, with a eteam and codec lined virgin, and oppo site a grave legislator held a genuine Dinah in lovingeinhraccv, Here Thump-, son of Philadelphia, his face wreathed \vi(h smiles, was seen dancing attendance to the lemon colored lapses. He declined mi introduction to any of the darky beauties. f\Ve believe he is*a reverent convert (o Radicalism.] ’ Tit lermilry, of Philadelphia notoriety}- with a' dark-* sklnm d henuly leaning lovingly on his arm, ami the gallant Ovens breathing, tales oflove into! he ear's of one of A fairest daughters, led the.quadrille to the soul-inspli lug notes of‘Sl. Patrick’s Day in the Morning.* The post of honor was given to a Philadelphia delegation, who were seated in er.sy chairs and were fur nished ice cream and cakes at the expense of the i oinmiltee. With arms encircling , Ihe waists of their jelly partner?, while on their manly bosoms respesed the crisp, velvety curls of the yielding beau ties, gracefully did. they thread the nn.zes of the ‘dance. After the dunce, ai'm In arm with their Lucindas, these consistent Radicals promenaded the room. All indulged In refreshments, over which faces, black, white ami talley colored bent together, and tongues cooed sweet ly in accents of •admiration. .We do not know how tin- Hon. Win. J. Ovens and friends managed in escorting the African ' maidens home. Is this the dawn of so cial equality ami a fraternity.of allcolo*s? I) umbel I, Cloud, L'linoti, Johnson, Al bright and .GrifiUhs also joined in the festive gathering.' The aspiring Johnson was exceedingly anxious to display his social feeling for his brother Afticuns’hy promenading the foom arm in arm with the master of ceremonies. in ('incimwfl—Civil Service JJefurm junt Free rode— h'x~Seerclari; 0)T. fur. Pre\idem. At a meeting yesterday afternoon a • constitution was adopted lor the purpose of carrying into ethet life declarations that are to he pnhlMinJ (o-mo'iow by prominent Republicans. Judge Stanley Matthews was ejected president, ami George HoiuPoy chairman of the execu tive committee, ami a committee was appointed to recommend the remaining •officers to be elected next Saturday.- The organization was a formidable one, and will doubtless create a great sensation in political circles. Whalj-he basis of the new political Or ganization will be is described in a tele gram frorn Cincinnati, published in the Western papers, which is as follows: A meeting.was held in this city on Saturday last to take initial steps in the organization of a new political party on the lands of civil service reform and free . trade. There were about twenty persona present, all iieretoforo identified with the Republican party. The leaders were .Tmlirn Stanley Matthews ami Judge Hoadlev, two prominent- lawyers and politicians, Gen. 11. L. Rnrnet, the law partner of cx secretary Cor., was also present, and Mr. Thump-on, ex-prosecu ting attorney of the county. Assurance was given 'that.a similar organization ‘was being eflieted in New York and other cities, and that the movement would develop into a national one before long'. ’All favored the nomination < f es- Secretary Cox for President. When It was objected that Mr. Cox was not eli gible, on aceount of nativity, it was immmneed that, although horn in Mon treaL r h.is patents, at the time, were citi zens of NVw.Vork, and only temporarily sojourning in Canada. This, it wassald, removed all objections under the consti tution, and made him, to all Intents and purposes, a native of (he United Slates. Others who were present, disclaimed any intention of forcing the nomination of any parliculnrindlvidual. Mr. Matthews said It was evident that the Republican parte, as Ji political organization, has ioen* its best days, and could no longer .-.mtiol the country. Other speakers alnoed Grant, in unqualified terms, as 'tlm cause* of all ihe trouble. It is under stood that (he Tribune , In Chicago, the (ommcreialin ( incinnall, and the Don* ocr/tf in St. Louis, will support the new movement. Ok*’ With Tirr:m llhads.—Grant has sot the gnllolino to work, and 1* very busy just now in the pleasant employ ment ot cutting otl theiieads of Ids op ponents, hnd of their friend’*. Immodi utoly after Homitor Bhurz made Ids speech in opposition to the degradation of Sum* mu- an order was sent to Chicago re moving Collector Jnssen from office.— .lussen Is a relative of Shurz, and Dial is Mipnoaed to ho the only reason for ids removal, as lie was an excellent officer, Cimnt may tlnd the gratification of his spile very cosily In the end. It wilt cost him either his’nondimtion or election.— If Schurz ami other'Repuhlicans who de spise him, canimt prevent his ronomliia lion, they can very easily draw oil* enough votes lo insuro ids defeat at t!io polls. — Spite work is generally poor work. AccountNn to, tlie-New York luxes, Senator Sumner declares that the Presi dent ought to ho impeached. Ho says that (riant has ached with consummate meanness, is a ‘‘Colossus of ignorance,” Unit tlie crime of Andrew Johnson, for which.lie "as impeached .and which lie, Sumner, voted toconvlet hinl of, whitena him into snow-like Innocence In contrast Willi the crime of which Grant has been iruiltv toward the infant repnli es of Havii and San Domingo. For all this truth—for it is truth In every word—it takes sides for " the Colo-sus of ignor ance ” and the President's friends take sides against its twenty years’ leader In the Senate. Tint Ohio.S/ofr; Journal (Hep.) in some remarks on the removal of of Cameron, who was selected to nil the place of tlie distinguished Massachusetts Itudical: "Cameron is a corinptionlst, "Ills reputation for honesty Is not goad; "in point ot fact,‘it is notoriously I ad. fs not Cameron’s (diameter a key to the whole movement? Was not a corrup tionist just the person for the business id hand ? Hates for advertisements wm do inserted at Ton Coni per lino for tho first Insertion, and five cent per lino for each subsequent Insertion. Qnor* erly half-yearly, and yearly advertisements In erted ntn liberal redaction on tho above rates Advertisements should be accompanied by the Cabh., When sent without any length of time specified f6r publication, they will bo continued until ordered out and emerged accordingly. JOB PRINTING. Cards, Handbills. Circulars, and eVery olh or description of Jon and Card Printing. ©nus atrtr Snirs. ENIGMA. My complexion’s dull and dark, Yet I have a lovely sire ; lam wingless, but tho lark Thro’ tho sklc’.s ascends not higher, briefless tenrsj cause tho fidr ; And at my birth dissolve In air. Upon my word, ’tls quite a joke, That six such llnesßhoiild end In smoke. A poetical genius describes ladies 1 lips ns tho “glowing gateway of porkuud potatoes.” . A guilty conscience I tf like a whirpool '(rawing In all to itself which would dherwiao pass by. - “ Do You like codfish balls, Mr. Wig gins?” “I really don’t knowjniss, Ican’t recollect ever attending one,” replied Mr. W. hesitatingly. One of our Ffteenth .Amendment sub scribers wants to know what Shakespeare means by the lino “Lot tho candled tongue lick nbaurb Pomp I** - . Alns. Stowe says that in America no woman ever dies for want of speaking her v mlnd. This, however, accounts for much of the .mortality among mem An exchange says that minstrels ought to chalk up instead of blacking up at Pittsburg, Their white faces would then present a contrast to the -color of the audience. , “ Mamma, can a door speak ?” “ Cer tainly, not, my dear,” “Then, why did you tell Anne, this morning, to answer the door? 11 “It is time for you lo go to school, my dear.” A nAfiv-siiow at Cedar Rapids had twenty competitors. The mothers deci ded by a vole which baby was the nice est.aml each baby bad one vote. The party speedily broke up, A silAiUMvit has developed the last swindle—taking out the life insurance policy for another man, paying for it with a forged chock, and getting-his commission for it in good money. . They have a baby in Vermont that faikst’fluently at the age of nine mouths. The itemize r who gives this interesting domestic jot has not considered It neces sary to state the sex of that baby. A Wont* to Punch.—Never mind preaching to us bn this side of the water any more. We’ll mind our p’s and q’s without your advice. All you fellers oyer there have to do, Is to miud your h'a. Tub wittiest men are not always the wisest ones. They are neither happy nor contented, and their Ills of spleen often drive them to do and say tilings which impair their usefulness and make them many and bitter enemies. JbiiN and Julia’s chess problem-John to move and mute in two moves: John moves tits arm round Julia's neck. She moves ono squarn and whispers—“ check 5” Me nothing daunted moves on straight, Ills lips to tiers and calls out—“mate!” Tin: government of Peril has issued a decree exempting printers from'service. In the National Guard, on the ground, probably, that the Perugians would oth-. erwlse have no papers to peruse. Good for Peru. Pjiotocirapheks must bo brilliant in controversial discussion, .as, no matter' how hard a subject may be presented to llkuUt - U>au-a»n In speaking of a friend who possessed a very rubicund countenance, some one said t'hc other day. “I don’t think m? drinks—in fact, I Know ho does not. for he told hie so; but he probably sleeps in a bed with red curtains.” “Tukoo/r your bonnet and spend the afternoon, my dear Mrs. blow. We are going to have tableaux to-night, and lam sure you will enjoy them*” Laws sakes. I thought I smelt'something good a cookin’ and guess I will slop till after supper. Tim Greatest Joinbk—the lawyer.— He can place a tenant, empannel a jury, box a w'itnesa. bore the court, chisel a client, augur the gains, floor a witness, cut his hoard, nail the case, hammer.the desk, file Ida bill, and shave a whole community. A - politician boasted that he could tell any kind of wine or liquor, blind fold merely by the taste. He was tried with one kind after another, and readily named them. At last a glass of -water was handed him. He tasted it, hesitated, ta-ied it again, smelled it, reiastcd It, and said : “1 give it up. That’s a brand of liquor I never got hold on before.” Tin-: night editor of a daily paper wrote this heath line to one of Ids cable de spatches“The British lion shaking Ida mane." lie was unable to cat his break fust next morning, when he found the » printer’s version of the matter, staring him in the face thus: “The British lion skating in Maine." Aldkkman G.—“ What is that, Hem |jv ? Read that again, dear.” ** By ft wonderful provision of nature, the camel is enabled to take a great supply of food; having been provided for that purpose with three stomachs.” Alderman G» “Wonderful provision of nature! I should think it was!, And for a camel, we have only one I” “I sympathize sincerely with your grief,” said a French lady to n recently widowed friend. “To lose such a hus band as yours—.” “Ah, yes, ho was very gbod ; and then, you see, such a misfor tune is always great, for.one knows what kind of a husband she has lost, but can not tell what kind of a man one will llud to succeed him.” It is common to speak of those whom A dirt has jilted as Her victims. Tilts is a irrave error. ■ Her real victim is the man whom she accepts. Tills reminds us of a happy smile: "A coquette Is a rose from whom every lover plucks a ],. }l f—the thorn remains for her future husband." "Husiunij, I wish you would buy me some pretty feathers." "Indeed, ray dear , little wife,yon look better witboutthem. ,, " Oh, no," said she coaxingly, “ you al ways call me your lltllo bird, and how does a bird look without feathers t " Why, dressed lo he sure,” said lie. . BII.LIAUDS la getting to be quite a favorite pastime among the ladles. They ought to succeed well at the game ; for fathers and husbands can testily that thev are dead sure when they go for a pocket ’ lovers are certain that are lucky in kisses, henpecked husbands know their proficiency in scratching, and in vaiiah'y give them the palm for nursing. In one of the courts a few days since, a man was testifying regarding his connec tion with a case where offers had been made to him to chit) a man but he de clined Urn job. Wilh g rent soleinuliv the i uinscl asked, ns if anticipating a high moral reason for his refund, why the witness did not commit the assault.— »• \Voii, sir,” wuh the camil‘l reply. I am a little lame, ami I was afraid the police would catch me.” at a curtain college the senior class was under examination for degrees. The professor of Natural Philosophy was badgering in optics. The point under Illustration was that, strictly and selen- I ideally speaking, we see no objects, but their images depleted oh tlie retina. Iho worthy professor—in order to make the matter plainer, said to the wag ef the class:, ” Mr. Jucksmi, did vpu ovet ac tually see your latherDili, replied promptly, "No, sir.” ’‘Pl™® e *R l S}* wily ..vou never saw your father. Be cause,” replied Mr. Jackson gravely, ” lie died before I was boru, sir.’ ■ -
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers