E 2 American lloluntcer .'ilFJt KVi:iiV THim.SI.AY MORNING ,! n’ON '<v xiKjrm-:i;> y - - irl >.S<>l Til MARKET MJPARE T en DoU’iih per v»*nr If paid strictly T,v,V rvilliiri and Elft.v fVnw If paid Nr-’ 0 } I '' • nnt i, s . uffar which Three Hollars " "y.'L.Mi Thesr farms will la* i’l«idly nd ■||l’ v ■H, „,|iti all iirTaarmjosnro paid, unless al 53fT« or ' CafDB. [rrTr> SYvCruis claim iVND , £y li ’JUSTA TE At? EE OY! WJf. B. BUTL’EK,' ATTOKNISV at law, „ 1.-nn'l.llil House. Poul 1; HnnoverStroo 1 “I’miibeiluml ninnly. IVuuu. ■adorn. by mull, will rccolvo ImmcclliUo '“'S.riiilcntlon Riven to tin. aollliiK or rout• '« & ™ in: town "rromitry. 111-nil lot- W 1 Ulry. pleiwo onolono postnto stump., . 'it ti.l-.~o— <r , . ' O UAH AM, Jit., ATTORNEY at law, .n-o.h .sotoii iianovbr st„ rAni-T.SLK. I’A* - IC ;.'_.\djoiiilntf Judge (3valiant's. ‘ircii a'i, is7i»—tr. 'iTßEff/rzßiwovaiEi, TTOItNEY'AT-LAW, caulishe. pa. nn south turnover Sti'cot, opposite .dry g«o | li’ More, _ isirt. i : MUICU & BARKER, a rrou'snrs a t la ir. , n Mala .Slteot. in Marlon Hall. Car- 1 J. Sli’iAKEUv ATTORNEY AND 'oitssßi>«.'»K AT Law, Ims removed his i tin* hitherto unoccupied room- lu the ••ist rumor of the Court-House, v.’i/'-ly KMN’X FDV, Attoknfv at Law ,-.,riis!r.' I'miiiiii OllU’usamo as that ol .loriciin volunteer.” I RED ROE S. SEA RIGHT, Den- Front the lUill/innrr Cnlliyc of Dental ’’timer u» the residence of bis mother .iitluT street, three doors below Bedford I’rtJiin. ffitus ano'tffiuia '){ S H A II R I V A L OF ALL Till: Air ar vi. i>.s a T H A B D MJAi’S. r 11 UT tuts just optuunl ill An. 15 Aort/i r s’; ‘ret -I Irw doors North of the Carlisle !Unk,’f>iuj ol thr largest and best Stocks - vul i ' \.l v S.rvrr iitlercd In Carlisle. !ici>,' 'iissi iiii'i'o of ail styles and iiimlitlc.s, i:us! diitrrent colors,- nud every dCscrip 'utl Hals UoW .julde. i,inl;ai’(l nud Old Fashioned Brush, con iiii ii.uid and inado to order, nil wuiraut ■.v-.jMstar.Uon. A toll nssoi truenl of ■ L " N AND CHILDUEN’S. II ATM. .Isa luldoil. lo my ■itucit, notions of clllloi'- li'.aiUaiisiJnyoi' •;s’ AND GENTMSMEN’ri STOCKINGS , ii>lt.S}jm{f<T3, (jlovn, i., 7. Thread, Xviviny Silk, ■ Umbrellas. «fre .SKUAHS AND'rOBAOUO always on hand. ;;ra rail mid examine my slock as I feel' .iiufyUnudag nit, besides Saving yon mo- JOHN A. KELLER. Afjent, No. 15 North HanoverWlreet. ;S AND CAPH I iDLMVANT A N.IC'R HAT Oil CAP SO ,DoX’T FAIL TO CAI.h OX ,r. _a. c a l l i o. ;o. ai. Wife? MA ry HTJihKT, ho seen tlio llnesX assortment of AT S AND CA P S t to Carlisle. Ho Hikes great ploas ihiu ills’old friends nod customers, oiiuii, to his splendid stock i Mew York and Philadelphia, cou irt of Hue . AMI) CABSIMERE HATS, endless variety of Hats and Caps ol hli-.iill ol which he will sell at the ‘{'firm, Also, tils own inanulacture uys on hand. and S MAh'UFACTUHED TO ORDEU. ■n i)i*st arrangement for coloring Hals usof Woolen (hunts, Overcoats, Av., at 1 noifcc (as hr colors every week-land t reasonable terms. Also, a lino ioj oi cNol ’ OUAticO AND CIGARS i lininU tic desires to call thoutteuliou >u ho have L' O U N T 11 V F 0 11 he juiys tlHvliialirafinvri prices for IM> a .'all, ol III.) above number, bis 'bl I',-uls conUclenl ufBlvl«B 01)11)0 s.l .b- Jouts ant) Slides, -U (.‘is riPON riL I‘jlv, lo Smith Hanover S'red % CARLISLE, I’A. fir linj patronage extended* them 'li iidiv'itnioiinco their usual large ’king styles of DOTS ,AND SHOES AND MISSES’.' CENTS’ AM) BOYS\- YOUTHS’ AND.CHI^. unrivaled for comfort and beauty 'XUS AND-VALISSE3, if ax I) no vs’ HA ts 111.' mill I).. sr>M a I small prollis. C:\jl (la.i.lael a mil epi-ivaleiUs for S«" A !■ CO A L ! k U K nDCTION, 1 On current market rales, j TO FA All LIES: ; WA MP, v AbU;V, fun Coal, 'red toall parts of the town at tlio 1 TO LIMEBUIINE^S: Nut. Ecu. ’'dVAMP, , S 4 00 83 00 d» • 1 tt> 325 . H 5 3 2.) VVI.LEY. ‘ -150 350 ’o any changes In the market at s ' n ’i Lhnebiirncrs along (hr Hue of dninl Valley Railroad, fmnished .’"[dy hm- rates. Il ‘l with despatch. .. • GEORGE ZINN. ~h Oltlee. on” V <u and Pitt Sts. TI O N ['• I’’. -V. lIWTJ'ifXS, I?" Auctioneer of the city of Harris | ■•'(•it licensed a United Staten CTIONEER, / aaihinliuid enmity, and would take i * l ' l , „ l, ‘ f “ v,, itna hlsfrleuds that he Is l " l Uy S\LKs upon the most Rea iins. ’ ' aal ronslderalde experience as an • he pride* himself upon giving hi- M "a to alt parlies who may engage 'leather my terms will ho made as u, «*. All orderslett at tho 15 •' x it i, t k ii o r s e , or at the 11 IKT I! It . s OF F ICE, "idly attended to BY BRATTON & KENNEDY. NEW UOODSM AT THE CHIP DRV CORDS STORE, D. A. SAWYER, , Opjiqsiic (hr Market Ilousc, —— fla.s Just opened a largo and well selected stock of FALL AND WINTER DRY GOODS, embracing every variety of design and fabric. Black Silks, (Colored Milks, silk pophna, I-Vcnoh I’opllna, Empress and Mixed Poplins, Wool Merges. Wool Heps, Veloins. Victoria Plauls, Stuart arid Hob Hoy Plaids, Colored Poplins. Al* paccuH. A Miperlm hnmd of Uluclc Alpaccaa, which for n eight, lustre, and price excels any other In the niaiket. „ DOMESTIC GOODS, MUSLINS. OM, S, 10. 12K, 15, CALI.'OKs. uu. « It). v>y. GINGHAMS. viy, li. nC tickings, v2y,,‘tn. is, 25. • DELAINES, 15; IS, 20. FLANNELS, FLANNELS, Alt the host makes at the lowest prices. BLAN KET DE BARTM ENT, A fresh stock of White and Colored m from the mills. Very cheap, C L O A K 1 NG CLOTHS, Velveteens. Wafer Proof, $1.09 and upwards. SHAWLS, SHAWLS, Brneho Shawls, Thibet Shawls. Striped Shawls, and Blanket Shawls. Prices away down'. NOTIONS IN ALL VARIETIES, Break last Shawls, Ladles'and Childrens’ Merino Vests. Men’s Meihm Shirts. Wave Yarns, Zeph oph. Hosiery, Juices, Embroideries, Gloves, Jou vlns Kid Gloves. FURS! FURS! FURS! Fresh Mock In from the manufacturers, less than oily prices, ’ , A full lino of Men’s and Boys’ cassliners.— Suits inado to order at lowest prices. We with everybody to call and examine mir cheap stock am? get someof the bargains, ns yon cun save UC per cent.. Oct. M.7U, • D, A. SAWYER. JJHY G00D8! HARPER’S South Hanover &t, t NEW STOCK OF PALL GOODS, I lake pleasure iu offering to my patrons and the public, a stock of DRY GOODS, complete In o-ory branch, and uotexeelled in finality, beauty, and,cheapness, 1 have now open a beautiful stock of FASHIONABLE DRESS GOODS, eomprising Black Silks, Black and Colored All* Wool Heps, Black and Colored All-Wool Pop lins. Black and Gob.red Wool Delaines, Black ami Colored Merinoes, Rich Plaid ires. Veioim-, Fine 'lamlKe h| n'<;y'v;"fViVw'-k ai iinnirtii!',,unv iiinuu 01 j'lUinlc \\ aI p »‘iai a /n nac’i, for beauty oi color. «’• Iglit of texture, and price. It takes the lead of any Alpacas in (ho market. , .... . Fashionable Shawls, lu hew styles of Stripes Long and Thibet Shawls, all of which X offer exceedingly, cheap. BLANKETS, White and Gray. Bargains guaranteed. , FLANNELS, In e\>ery variety. , , LADIES’ CLOAKISGS—Hhiek Beavers, \ elve- Kuns, White Corduroy. Opera Flannels, i'lauls for Circulars- WAT El’ - PIIO OF ! WATEU-I'BOOF I House Furnishing Dry Goods?, Table i Inens Napkins and White Goods. ' All Ilia popular brands of Domestics, at prices to meet the lowest quotations. Merino Vests. -Hurts, and Drawers, lor Ladles, Misses, Men and Boys. Knitting Yams. Zephyrs. Germantown Wool, Persian Wool, mid Biilmoml Yai ns, Hamburg, Ivh’lngs and fnse.vtings,Thread- Laces. Onlpne r.aees Linen atm Lace Collars, Kid Gloves. riundkerehieK Felt. Rnlmoud.ai.d Hoop Skirls, Corsets, mid a gcncral varloty ol notions. CLO ril-S AND (JASSIMEKES, Furs ! Furs I Furs! • No hesitancy In saying that the. prices will he as low as tiny mi town. •\II goods houghi at tho head of the market, for-eash. and superior inducements will bo oiler ed at tho cheap Cash' store, Cor. JJanovcr •and Pomjrci Sts. , TUGS. A. JIAUPEU. Oct. 20 ; 70. E W G O o D H! We imvo just returned from fm city, with iMiother very heavy stock of Goods, makingone slock ihe largest, over held In Carlisle, hy any olhei House. Wo have extra good an.: thick DLAC'IC SILKS, COLOKKI) SILKS, fjILK olall shades. 'ool ■kk'Ks VIOURNENG 0-0 OBS, .LAIN ASU FANCY SACKINO FLANNELS WATER PROOFS AND CLOAKINGS, CLOTHS AND CASSIMERES) Nut. Egg. Slix 53 30 4 50 ‘ S <5 J 50 375 •1 75 5 SO 59 0 OU QUILT'S AND’COVJiKLETS, xJ(f iyif-’I ff ilI () if - ( toth s. domestic goods S/miols, Gloves, Hosiery, &e. tbo vt-ry hfl iiml nmsl Imiplsomc SASH RIBBONS, ttml'liVmm”’l""l>«' ni » ,l1 “‘‘ nn »- u,l,urbll! "oivi ul'nc'ittYou will <i.vo n Bond cloal of lomiuy Hi your piirelm.UK. j jEnTX CO., Nov. 10, 70. ■pM’ISR AND ENVELOPES, hers. SleldT'ens and llnlders, at- J. B. HAVERSTICK’S. Nov, 3, “0, Nursing bottles Of all descriptions, at J, B. lIA VEUSTICK'ti, No, 5, South JJanovcr Street. or microns, A. IIAUUIR. tfov. a. vo, le niff if fti 'Volunteer /Aft Vi 3Jci) (ffiqoUtf DRV GOODS!! .SILK AND WOOL EPINGLINEB WOOL PLAIDS, ALPACCAK AND DELAINES, cAH Kinds. in great variety , f orllrai “ttltAS’tUA AI.’A.S l>U£S, iiv-a. ir. I’On. ,f I wants to mend my wagon, Ami Ims to have some nails ; Jus* two, free will bo plenty, Wc’ro going to haul our rails. The Rplcndidost enh fences. Wo'ro limitin' ovinrn - l l v I wls’ you’d help ns find cm, Gran'nin uPas docs. ' .... . -*•_!- My horse’s i amo Is Betsey ; SUcJump* I ami hroke-hor heiul . I put nor In tbo stable, And fed her milk ami bread. The stable’s in the parlor; Wo didn’t make a muss. I wls’ y«uM lot mo stay there, Gran’ina ai’as dues. ps goin 1 to the cornfield. To ride on Charlie's plow ; I sport he’d like to have me ; I want's to go right now. Oh, won, 11 gee up awful,' And wjlon'bke Charlie whoas ? 1 wls’ you wouldn't bozzer ; Gran’rna never does. I wants ynmi’ bread and butler Pk hungry worstest kind; liutTn.ldio mustn't have uouo, 'Cause she wouldn't mind. . pot plenty sugar on it; I tell you what, I knows It’s right to put «u sugar; *■ , Gnin’nmnl'nsclnes. 1 'lMstellmiiLMis.. ‘ ; lhiaiißtKl.LA, 'Name?' •Charles plank.’ 'OccMipaHon ?’ ‘Civil Entiinocr.’ •Address ?’ . ‘Five hundred and one, Groat George sircct, Westminster,. and six, Verbena Villas. Hammersmith.’ . 1 ’ ‘Verbena Villas. Hammersmith,’ slow ly repeated the police sergeant, as he en tered Utfc foregoing P«rfhM|lar« in a Dlif book. ‘Well, yon know the charge—for stealing tin's gentleman's umbrella. Have you an 'thing to say-fn'uddition to what yon have already staled?’ ‘Nothing wha'eve.r,’ [answered; ‘lean only repeat tiint it was entirely a mistake upon my part.’ Must so,’ wa« the grim reply. ‘You’ll have an opportunity of provitu tliat in the morninir. You are by no nimns the first person wd have had to deal wilh iiere who has inistuketi other people’s properly for his own. Take him off to dlu* ceils. 1 And then I was marched oil. The o.lroumstances which had brought me into this scrape were as follows : My- self ami my friend Spnn-ington were iu the eroployment’of a railway confmetor, -whosn "lijeea were situated in’Uie locality already mentioned. .The duties of our department were shared by some half dozen other young gentlemen of our own ago, who, like us, were qualifying them selves for thr’Rurvey of ground and con- hi ruction of lines in any part of (lie world which their genhis'shnuid call them to. Biil phuiH are speculations are not partic ularly exlitleraiing in themselves, apart from’their prolessionai interest; so it is not to he wondered at thut uuioiie several young fellows, full of animal spirits, a little pra'-tieal joking should have been atTUnes indulged in* ia-1 Oenicliittlatl anil T wore, phi Car lo VW- —■ if..,.-.,.'...,,, - some years’ sepnrniion, at the oilloe In George street, wo had only to renew our friendship. The it rent dainiy of our room, miy of- the enlir • house, was Ned. 1 Imi eslly believe, too, that he was one of the most guileless. simple-hearten fellows alive. He had, however, one conspicuous weakness, which was to lie taken fur a man of fashion. Hedressed.l admit, mi excepmniddy; anil to aid him in pmduc inir the im pi essinn which lie desired upon beholders, lie carried about with him, in ail .weathers, a heunlifnl sitk umbrella, Scarcely bulkier tiian a. lady’s parasol, II nugh, of uour.se, cnnsideiahly homer. .1 minim! fiom the cut onyx liand'e. with go d himinlliig, it must have cost him a mint of money. , . , Well this nfiil>re!lu of Neil h Wt* tnul all wo could IP net hold ol; i.ul he was too warv for’ii-; it. w.ia always lelt in sonic place.'. Jl we had succeeded in get tlnp possession td it, it would ha\e taken a conspicuous position ip society, such as covering the oid apple woman at the cot - ner; tail it was unapproachable. At last we became so desperate that I accepted a heavy wager from oneof the other fellows that J would present myself at the.olhce ihe next mnvninir, at all hazards, as the proud possessor oi Ned Hpt nciuglon a uni- On that particuhir day, work being slack, every one was enabled to leave mi usually earl\;sn that by 4 o clout, m ttio afleriinnn I he Ininso was eh ared ot all save nivsclf, inV Innther the old soldier who lived with, his wih* on the premises. Mv Iriend Ned, as was ins on-tom at such limits, had announced his intention o| promenading Haihe.-, Ante, there In air himself, his aristocracy, and -his umbrella--! decided upon In lowing him Ihilher. As there were yut two hours nt daylight. however, I thought I cmilil not do butter than f. rlity myself lor the enterprise by taking smne substantial re ‘reshmen( !lefnrc earn inencing operations. After whieli 1 would trust In the chapter nl accident-.. With tiiis object in view, I "'as I'T l . 111 ' in.ir toward mv lavniite place of refection in the 1-Strand, when Who should I see looking in at tlie inpngnipl or a shop by Northumberland House t nt Nert ."tirne (union! Heonghl ny rights to have been nearly Iwo mlies away, nl Hyde Park cor ner, yut lore was he at Charing Cross, calmly siudv ing sonic mop oftlie 'seat, of war 1 He was so wedged in amnogoiiier anzera, that I could mil g. t at him to Sneak, or even have a clear view o his laue Hut I knew him by his height, by the'neatly hmi'lcd coat, the delicately t nted trousers, tlie well poi-sid bat. and last hut got least, the umhretla He was holding hie luiinls behind Ins hack, and in one of them lue precious article "as firmly clasped- Yea there it wa«, m 1 ,'* iiaedle, gold mounting, and all. As 1 looked, it stid.den idea took possession of me—a foolish idea, I admit, as it could hardly lead to a practical result. Hut I tl,might if I could only get the Win >re la out ol Ins hand in smne way mid I'm oft wdlli it, that he,seeing it Hi the possession ,d a liiend, won id give up the chase ns tie would know that he would recover I is Mioperty the next day. At the wmat.lha result would only he a day or two a. coo - ness between ns on account of piy fje.ik. No sooner tip tight than done. Up the pavement 1 espial n piece ot clean » »«. well iidatited fur the purpose 1 had. in view, i’il'king It up. I proceeded to tickle Snrmmiglnn’s ear. The experiment il - Bweied admirably. Thinking It, I sup nose, to be a troublesome fly. Ho .raised ds l and to brush oil the assailant. Hut, lo .lo tV.IH, he was compelled to shift the nmlijella from baml lo b»» lett. The moment of trunslerence was enough fur ti e. Before the fingers of his left hand Si ll close, I had seized me umbrella the next moment was dashing madly across Trumlgar .--'qiiaro in tlie dlreeiiou of ilie H»\ inurUcf. . ...» There vwm u Htnklon commotion biMiina ire amotion wli ch swoon swelled jnto aii uproar. I heeded it imlnrtlier than to turn null round, in order to let bprneing ion sou who I "a». and to flourish in me air toy umbrella-1 mean Ida umhreha. Uul Uiu uproar tiuJ Mot r lu;;; on (Muropr iraiy, it begun to shape Itself into winds. Horn se si mils of ■ Stop thief I followed mens f flew up Hie steps at the further nml nf the siiuuiif. Tlie ei lesstlll ringing Ml my ears. I da h d lielter skelter past tlie College of P y ioians and Colmight s mint shop, till I came lo Hie corner of Sultolk street. Here I was brought up •all standing’ by an iron grip upon my CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 1870. collar from behind. Turning around, I found myself In Iho custody of a police- man In the usual brief space of- time Iho in evitable London crowd assembled, about us. I was regarded with curiosity, loaded with reproaches, and favored with wit of an extremely persona) nature, all at the same moment. This I boro with patience, jf not with good humor, convinced that on the arrival uf Spruolngton, I should, get clear of my tormentors. Presently a line was made for the approach of the owner of the stolen property. Judge of my horror on peicejyijig.Um,t the panting. hVdlVidu-d was a (oCafstranger to me! Of course all my protestations of inno cence were of no avail, and I was treated in ti e manner described in the beginning of lids glory/ Clatter, clash, nimble, bang. The coll door closed upon me, and I was n pris oner! Thcgloom wa«i so great that, (hough it was daylight, I could at first distinguish nothing Gradually I became aware that. X was in a narrow vaulted room. us strong as brick and iron could make it. Half way up-the walls, \v«a a wooden wains* coa'ilng,'ami around two sides X could dimly see a’low .bench, barely Iwo feet from the floor, which was an inch deep in saw dust. The iron door of this de light lu I apartment was of great thickness, disclosing,abmn live feel from the ground a small grating of round holes. Bv pres sing my /tine against thb* grating, X could see into the corridor without. But the only view obtainable was aground glass window, opposite, illuminated by the last, lingering rays of the setting sun. The flavor suggested to me a-combined one made up of the condemned cell of New gate, the dungeons of the Imstite, and the Spanish inquisition.- Occasional gruff voices and heavy footsteps in the corri dor deepened (ho impression. A mouse in a trap was a king to me. Then X began to think seriously of my situation. That I had committed felony thereeonld not he the leant doubt, though with no felonious intention, .Would the magistrate believe my explanation? Sure ly my mami'-raud appearance were not those of a pick . But'my heart, sank within mens I remembered that the lou den ftwell inol) are known to he the clev erest actors In the world - in fact they can imitate to perf ction any class of society., My only- hope^.was in Sprucington. Ho would be of-material , iss|sUm i, c in clear nig up tly?-mystery. Apd yin that um brella — I could have sworn it belonged to none other but he ! However, T. despatch ed messengers to him, my.employer and hiy friends; therefore, Mm* only t* ing to be done was to .wait patiently till tho morning. . I spare yon (he description of the night of horror,* lor such it was to one who had never before suffered an hour's depriva tion of liberty; how the monotony of the long, long hours, was only broken at in tenvais by iho appearance at the grating of a Htern, helmeted visage, tlemanjling whether‘all was right;’how at 4 o’clock, A. AX., two fellow prisoners, in the shape of a drunken scavenger and a deserter from the royal artillery*, were thrust iiilo the cell; or how in the morning all the cells were emptied, and we, the occu pants', with aching hones, unwashed and unkempt, were paraded through the street* in a melancholy siring to an ad jacent Police Court. Fortunately my case came on early, no that I hm! not long to wait among the crowd of dirty, disremitablc dclcnm, each guarded by a constable who tilled au out er innrn. At the cry of ‘C.lmrlcH Blank;’ (I ahufi* item! to hear my name In such » place,) T ami my tutemiaui policeman marched into The ja]l<iyo-hh-; j/iWSIX mo~in the‘i<)cU. At,the sanemoment the prosecutor enloruil the witness box to be' sworn, He w:a a priggish look in*? rimii of about fm-tv-fivo, uml no more like Ned Spruoinelon in trout than I was like the monument. In a few calm. well chosen words U© described the wholeoVeurreuce. When ho had finished, I was told that I could put any questions fo him I thought proper. I declined h> do so. Then after life svi demu* had been confirmed by the cousta l,le who arrested me, the magialnuo, an amiable looking old gentleman, asked me: ‘Weil, my friend, what have you to .sav to this ?* , . fh reply, f gave (he same simple and unvarnished statement which 1 had ai rcadv given at the p.dlee.stathm. ‘'iiiat is all very well so far it goeo; but have-you any witnesses as focharac- tc?’ , i ‘\>s, sir—Edward Spru.-inghm.’ . -j .‘Call K ■iwnrii tfprucimiUm.? Then 1 could hoar tho crier abouting ‘ the familiar name through tho passages of 11>o court. - m After a few the oiu ojal returned, accompanied, to my great (leliirht. by Ned. The good fellow looked , so distressed to see mo Yu such a prefUca mout. ihat I felt convinced he would have given a dozen umbrellas to have got in'* nut of. the' scrape. A a so-m an he made his appearance, I noticed that the prosecutor changed cojor. I also noticed that while taking the oalhNVd kept one •hand behind his hack, I could n«t hu‘/« tohl you why, but somehow i derived encouragement from both these trifling c)rcumslaiiccs . sr ■ To shorten matters, I may say, that il I hud been a seraph I cmdd not have »o ctdvcd a hel ter chat actor than that, given mo hv Nod. At last came'the. questiop ; •Then you IhinU. tho prisoner incapable nf stealing this umbrella ?’ ‘Well, sir,’ said Ned. who had recover ed 1 1 is sol f possess io l l , ‘if,as! understand, Hindin« moans taking property from the owner, it is impossible that the priuonor could have committed the theft.^ Whai a first rate advocate Ned was becoming ! - * Impossih’o ! Why? , ‘because that umbrella was first stolen from me V ‘lt is an infamous falsehood}* cried the prosecutor, starting up. , ‘ls ii?’ replied Nod 'That person need i ot hi* so particular about wordy, for this i* all lie loft mein exchange—at the cl ear divan. J ‘ ... With that he produced, amid iho great laughter of the court, what he had hith erto concealed behind his hack, namely, u woollen handled umbrella, much„U>o woiso for wear—of silk, certainly, hut no more to be compared with the glories of the* on>x, handled than a costermonger n wide awake With the archbishop of teriuuy'a best ‘shovel.* An attempt at bluster by the later pos sessor of lus umbudla, vvuh quietly met bv Ned with a request than an officer of the court aliould examine the initials upon the handin. Tlmt was conijluaivp. The Stranger’s inllla s wore ‘ P. V* add ho hud not had time to take notice of the minute *K. W.’ cut into the onyx stone. Of course my immediate release follow ed upon tho discovery, accompanied by the assurance that X left the court with out aijy utuj 11 upon niy ehsraetev, etc. My hue prnsevutor was glad l 'i - s!llllt crestfullon away, hut not In fore he had received u syvere rebuke, adimuaiteieu i hy the nuntiatrate. Ah for Ned ho was overflowing with I gratitude. Ho declared with learn m his eves Hint I had heeu the means of rcstor ! lug to lilm his lost treasure, Whal was I more, he insisted upon paying the water which I had lost, and also of performing I the part of amphitrpon at a capital din , ner in the evening. AN exchange tells of a young couple Who wont, to the elty to celehmio the Fourth in style. Tutting up at a hotel, they were served at dinner with ice oreuin for desert. Rusticiis lasted the cool con fegtidn, tolled it from otto aide of Ida mouth to the other, am), filially, ejacu lated, 'Thuiidpi- att'l llghlnm,', Marlar, that's lhu.eoldest puddlu' I et!’ A I.ITTPM hoy' having broken Ida rook inghur-e the day it was bought, Ida mam ma began to avoid, when he silenced her by lit eju I ring,.* wliat la the good of a horse till It'a broke.’ ' Uciijniuln I'm it It lln aml .'mimic! 3Hchlc. When Benjamin Franklin opened his printing oilice in Philadelphia, ho was obdgod to struggle against many adverse circumstances. Pie was young and poor; the country was new, and the public mind was un settled,, and two printlhg offices of es tablished reputation were already doing a thriving business in thopluce. Meknpw that he must succeed, if lie succeeded at all, by honorable dealing, energy, and 'perseverance. ~„.Thero ,Jlycd..iU. ( Hliiladplphlft, at this time, a gentleman of wealth and position by the name of Samuel Mickle. He was one of those morose persons who take a most dismal view of human affairs, and go about prophesying disaster and ruin. He looked upon the settlements in tho New World ns failures, and expected that Philadelphia would speedily decline, and return to the primitive wilderness. Having plenty of leisure, he made It a sort of missionary work to disaemminate these startling . opinions and to warn thoje wlw were prospering in u business way, arm tlmoo who woro engaging fn now enterprises, of the impending doom. Hearing that young Franklin had. opened a printing office, he concluded to make him a call, and accordingly appear-, ed one day at the door of the new estab lishment, Franklin's experience in' luisi ness had not been promising thus far. and his view of the future was anything butchoorfnh His face'brightened, hew ever, as he saw the portly old gentleman at his door,-ami lioticod hla elegant and courtly hca'Hng, thinking that he might have come with proposals for work. 'Are you tho young mau that has juai opened a printing 011100?’ asked Mr- Mickle. Franklin answered in the affirmative. ‘I am sorry—very sorry,' said the old gentleman, looking very solemn, and speaking in an ’impressive manner. *lt must be ait expensive undertaking, and vour money will all he lost. Don’t you know Philadelphia is already fulling Into decay. Most of its business men lire obliged (o cull - their creditors together f know, as an undoubted fact/'ho 'con tinued, with great emphasis, ‘thafall tho elre’u instances that might lead on© to foink o'borwise, such as (he erection of now buildings, and I lie advanced prices for Vent, are deceitful appearances, that will nnlv make,the ruin move and dreadful when it does come!' He then proceeded to Illustrate these Htatomer.ta hy detailing the private af fairs of a number of indi.vidna s. into •whose business be had been' prying. ‘He gave me,* says Franklin,’ so long a detail of misfortunes actually existing, or about to take place that ho left mo al most in a state of despair.’ . Franklin, however, recovered ids self poast-s&ion, and resolved to redouble his energy,'and to work as ho had never worked before. ‘The industry of this Franklin/ said Dr. Bard,’at a meeting of the Merchants’ < tub, not long alter the occurrence of t lie incident.we have related, ‘is superior to anything of the kind I have ever wit nessed. I see him alill at work when I return from the ciub at night, and lie is at if again hi tho morning before hia neighbors are out of bed/ The success of Franklin as a printer is well known, and we need only allude to it here. But portr Mr. MfcUle? ‘He continued, says Franklin, ‘to live in this place of decay, and to declaim in the same style, refusing for many years to buy a house, because all was goihg to wreck; and in theeirl F had ilieaatiafno lion to see him pay live times us much for one as It would have cost him had hewheu .Uo first began his 'Almost dvery young man of enterprise eucountets a Samuel Mickle. To such the example of Franklin affords a whole some lesson. Discipeive of the PROS.srAN.s-— Herr Wie.kede writes to tlie Cologne Gazette ; ‘A high Prussian general recently - told me that, lie had begged the king of Prus sia; at fommerev, to erant him,a squa dron of calvary for service in the chief town of Ida government. The King laughingly replied ; . • \fv.-dear general, von must a|qdy there,’ pnintinir to Mnllke, lie alone din posesof ali nnr troops, and I ought to ho Kind if lie only leaves mo ray hody- ‘His answer, t tliink. isequally iionor ahlo for hotli —for the king, in tint lie reoniriii7.es MMtke’s strngcllo genius, no invfnhv and wiliinglv defeia to him; lor llio latter, in Unit, lie publicly received minlva recognition ofhis worth mil of the month of Ids kimr- The genuine milita ry spirit of a'l the Prussian troops is as tonishing. A few da s aim, I was with Prussian officers of all klmis.two helonir. i»K to I lie tine, and nine to the Land well r- The various provinces of Prussia were represented. Two wore scions of lira strict Catholic and exclusive Westphalia nobility, others ineiehnnta and young lawyers from Periln, farmers, from Pool er mia, a mannfaeturer from Schleswig, an architect from Cologne.-Ac. All these men are so ditierentin llu-irsncjal habits, (h.dr-polili(ml and religious views, thinr frl-mdrddp ami inclinations, t « of pe/iee they certftin'lv wool >o miK’li in contact. and would h ofl’er with Indifference and ( y v,’|fh animosity. 'But nil * lie. u ces disappear n& soon aa they li *<* the ollie r*M unifem. Their o it then I* of doing honor lo their posnion, .jmi (iu*v lire iniprt'Hsod by the moat ihnrnmih esprit dc corps. Thtdr com mon wish N to light for the honor of the Prussian -tiacr —to conquer, and, if it ih Gnd’s will, cheerfully to die; and this animates them all In equal measure.— Among the Landwehr, the very men who at home, over ■ their beer, and In popular assemblies, loud-y applaud the communistic and democratic orators, are now, when they wear the uniform, obe dient soldiers, showing the greatest ro snect-to the youngest officers, and he varo of the slightest insubordination.’ Tin - ' Skciuit op It. —An oM farmer being asked why Ills boysstayedat borne when others iliii not, replied that It was owing to the fnut that he always tried to make home pleasant to them. ■ He fur nished them with useful a»d attractive reading; ami when night comes, ami the (lav’s labor in ended. Instead of Tunning with other boys to the railway station ami adjoining towns, they gather around the great lamp sm) become absorbed in their hooks and papers. Hla boys wore still at homo when tin* eldest noy was twenlv-ono. while those who were fur nished with no reading at home sought city life and city dissipation -as soon as thev were seventeen or eighteen. All will do well to heed Ibis testimony of tt farmer, who has known how hard to struggle for a footing on a free soil without capital Is, and how valuable and comparatively cheap ate the aids which good reading' brings to him. lit this age of general Intelligence, Hie mind must he catered to ami honks ipui papers fur nished; arid not only this, but ip this age of cl,etip mid artistic chromos, pictures can also he brought to ns In making home attractive. The farmer’s life is the most indeoemlent of any, and there is no reason why it may not he as attractively surrounded. How 'ro jvNow A Goosb “ Mother, mother !’’ cried a young rook, returning hurriedly from Its llrat bight 1m so frightened'. I've seen Hitch a flight I ‘ What sight, my son naked tlie old wldle creatures, sereandug and running, and straining their necks and hohliotf" vUulr hciulrt I'Vtr ho high • met her, there they go 1’ ‘ (ii-f.-.i 1 . my you, inojely t T °f 80 ' ,o»,!!(.m1 tho imifnl bird, looking ov«r the common. 'Through life, child, observe Hint when you meat any one who makes a great fuss about himself and tries lo lift Ida head higher than the rest of the world, you may set him down at once for a goose 1’ A Tnlo of Horror. Last week’s Saginaw (Michigan) He- publican says: it has been Icuoton for some time that a dirty, wretched old man lived outside the city, about a mile or so, In a filthy little cabin, entirely alone, and that ho was a hermit. No one ever went near him,, for It was said that he was a magi cian. ■ His only companion was a skelelon lorikinp-dog. He came into the city sometimes to beg, and would piteously Implore-dor-anoney.v'He-would gather• rags and scraps of paper ami sell them.— Everyone supposed him to be wretchedly poor* He hud an evil look, and mothers would remove their children when they saw him corning. One day last week, however, a child, the son of Abraham Skinner, went out. alftne to fish in iho stream, rind happened to wander on ; bo , fore he knew it he earn© to the hovel o the old man. At first ho was frightened, but seeing no one around, ho plucked courage and went nearer. Everything was silent* .He weutand pcepod through a crack in the hiit. Ho almost screamed out at what he saw, for he beheld the old man bonding over a bag beside him containing large quantities of money., Mr. Skinner’s son was so terrified, that when he attorn ted fo move ho stumbled. Like lightning the old man rushed out and seized him. ‘Ha!* be screamed,'l’ve caught you, have I? Yon saw me, did you? Well, now you’ll pay for It.’ And before Mr. Skinner’s son could say a word, the old • monster, with an awful laugh, drew out a knife, and (oh, horror!) cut the child’s tongue out. Then he chopped his fingers off. ‘Now/ he said, ‘you can go, for you can’t tell/ The poor boy ran off over come with agony, and ran to his father’s louse only .to fill them with consterna- tion. What was the matter with their child ? Ho could not write for his fingers weio cut. • ‘ ■fcUIM. the poor hov, after efforlsof the most horrible pain, managed tofix a pen cil between the'stumps of his,bloody fin gers, and wrofe,the awful tale ! A .party was immediately organized, and hasten ed’to the miner’s den. He was at the door as they approached, ami fired a re volversix times at them, wounding two of the‘party seriously. ' Mr. Skinner re ‘turned the fire, and. tho.nec/3 a piercing yell, mortally wounded. ‘My money! my money!’ ho moaned, ‘niy l>eyutlful money !’ and he crawled to his bags of gold and sank upon them —a corpse! Over slo,ooo’ were discovered, which was prewenled to the -Poit House and other charitable Institutions. The event will never be forgotten by our citi zens., The child is slnw’.y recovering. The miser wan burled the day after, and tne hut torn down. lllfflMvaymon on tbo Ccnlml Pacific Itnlli ond—l rain Robbed «l over 5 40,000 In (Sold, San -Francisco, Nov s.—The great overland esslem-honn'd train, on the Cen tral Pacific railroad, was stopped and the express car robbed, hi tween' Verdi ami Reno; last iiiprlit, hy a band of highway men, who boarded the tram at Verdi, and, presenting pistols at tho heads of the con ductors and hralreinen, detached tlie ex press ear anti robbed it of $-10,000 in- coin. Tlie robbers escaped, lint a party lias been organized to give them a hot pursuit. A dispatch from Reno gives the follow ing further particulars ; 'Just as lire train was starting from Verdi, three masked men boarded the express car, and five more came to their aid from the rear cars. These live evi dently came from the west on tiro train. rtinyxletireirtattiOhr tne Yltani -itsin, 'eilt ling the signal rope. Two jumped on the engine, and placing a pistol to tho engi neer's heat! commanded him to move on. which he did. Two hrakeinen endeavored to keep tire masked men otl tire ex press car, lint pistols placed at their heads compelled them to retreat. Tire conduc tor rushed forward, but tire pistols stopp ed him. Finding a hatchet. Ire oamo for ward again in (line to sec the engine and express cars separated'from tire tram and living down (ho track.- The rubbers then placed tire fireman, express and mail messengers in tire mail room and locked them up. When six miles from tiro sta tion they Stopped the train and broke open the express boxes and robbed them of S4l (WO in gold coin. All the telegraph wires were cut west of,Reno.' Tonsls nnd ‘soullmeiils. If ay the honest heart never know dis- tress. > 1 , .- May care he a stranger .where virtue resides. , , May hemp hind those whom honor cannot, ; , . , . . May oni - prudence secure us friends, but enable us to live without their assistance.' May sentiment never he sucrillced by the tongue of deceit. ■ .May our happiness lie sincere ami onr joys lasting. , May Ihestniles ofcnnjiigtd ftdicity com turnstile the frowns of fortune. .May the tear of sensibility never cease to flow. , , , . , May the road of preferment bo louml bv none but those who deserve it. May the liberal baud oml free access to the purse of plenty. ■ May the impulse of generosity nevei bechecked by Hie pnwerol necessity. _ May we always forget when tve forgive an ininvy. ~ . May the feeling heart possess the for tune the miser abuses. ■ • May we draw upon content for tuo. ue ficleuciea of,fortune. May Uopo' bo thy phyalciau when uti- Irunity iH ihedlaoiise. , . . . May the single be mamed.aiul mamed happy*. u - \ WOMAN’S TnkmtßNClv. —The Rock ford (III.) Register of October 22d, says ; ‘Dropping into tlie court room tho other day, wo were utruck with tho un usual decorum prevailing wltjnn tho hal lowed pre Jnota wherein his.Ho»*or,Jinl«e Brown prenides and dispenses impartial justice to all applicants. We observed fewer hoot-sniea resting upon tables and railings, and less lounging in uncouth at titudes than usual, while wo remarked an unwonted sprueeness of attire and evidence of more than ordinary atten tion to their hack hair on tho part of sun dry of tlie younger members of tho bar, likeour friends Cross and Warner. 'Looking around for tile cause of this altered aspect of affairs, we soon discov ered it in the person of aeharmlnc young lady, who occupied a chair within the bar ami was watching tho progress of a case with as much interest as any of the legal gentlemen present; Indeed, it is our opinion thaf she gave it closer, attention than did some of the younger attorney already alluded to, whose eyes would ol casinnallv go astray. Upon inquiry, we learned that the young lady, whose nitme is Miss Alla M. Htilett, is pmsning a regular course ofiegal study wild Messrs. Latbrop * Bailey, with a view to ill ci seir for the practice of the law. bhc a a young lady of mote than ordinary pmso nal attractions, bright and prepossessing in appearance, ami evidently in earnest In Iter purpose to acquire a profession. A srnwAiiD on an Ohio river steamer was addressed uy an uneasy amhexcitui individual, who, .wanted lllu * Jw a houy nu tho land. Tim candidate for a forcible diaemharkmont was pointed out hut the steward could see nothing out of elt ?’ Onn 1 y ml a mau setting there hu^hitfa woman . • Well, yes.’ replied tho steward, hut whutof that? hasn’t a fellow a vight to nmhrano his wife?’ . . . ‘Tlmt'a jiißt'what t want you in run him out for,' replied tho stranger, dancing around, 'that's my wile, and I have stood it so long that I've got mad!' A nytNO woman in Leavenworth over heard her husband making proposals ol marriage to the servant girl. HoaiKl to llnvo It Settled. Quito a number of ndd ami amusing scenes frequently occur with parlies who visit tlio Indiana Pmhate Court for I lie purpose of securing tlie necessary docu ments to legalize their marriage. Bur the other day » young man, about twenty one, accompanied by one of tbo opposite sox equally ns young, ascended the main steps of the Court house, and then on being directed to the Probate Court, took up the line of march for its hallowed pre cincts. Reaching, he refused to enter. +The-ruslic-maiden; who-was* entirely' anxious to see the marriage programme carried to a successful issue, looked upon him with pleading eyes, and then taking him hy the hand In the most tender man ner, heseeeheil him to enter the courtaud obtain' the license. ‘Oh ! come along, Jake ; whnt’s the use of hacking out?’ fell In dulcet tones upon Jacob’s oiir. ‘Melindy, I can’t. The old mau will give me Tils if I marry yon.’ ‘Haven’t you told me a thousand times thntyqu would marry me in spile of the old man ?’ . ‘ ‘YesJ yes! but there Is ’ Ms what!’ ‘Why the farm.* ‘Yes, hut, MHimly/ronsoncd her lover, ‘hadn’t we better wait tHI the old man dies, nml (lien I^lf have the farm sure?' ‘Bang l»is old soul, he’ll live fifty years yet; there’s no die In him. C:*mo along now and.git that ore license; I ain’t u going to bo put nft'nnv more.’ 'l’ll tell you what I'll do, Mciitidy.’ ‘Well, spit hermit.’ ‘lf the old man holds out agin my luiv- Ing you till Christmas I’ll marry you then, farm or no farm.’ •Sure?’ ‘Ah sure as my n a mo's Jacob.’ ‘Well, let her,go till Christmas, hut if you buck out then,'Make, look sharp.’ ‘l’ll toe tho-scratch then, by jingo, if the old man runs me off the farm with u. douhle-harreled shot gun, certain.’ And Jake looked as If ho would. Thus 're-assured on being married by Christmas, Melfndy drew oft* with her Jake, fully satisfied, doubtless,- with the postponement. But if Jake does prove recreant to his promise, we will wager' any amount of needles that MeMmly w>D go for him. to use the vernacular of thii. •Htiw-n-wwtfoaUU'Ul oril'K. • Husbands ought ‘to keep out of the kitchen:’ A husband -who did not, writes thus of the consequences : •I found fault so time ago with Marla Ann’s custard pie, and tried to (ell her. how my mother mam* custard pbv Ma-. ria mad* the pie after my receipt- It lasted longer than any other pie wo.over had. Maria sol il on \ho table every- dav for dinner, and yon see I could not eat it because I forgot to tell her to put in any egg->, or shortening. It was economical, but in a fit of generosity I ato'eit from the pantry and gave it to a poor little boy In tbo neighborhood.. The, boy’s funeral was largely attended by. his lormer play mates. I did not go myself •Then there were the buckwheat cakes. I told Maria Ann any tool could heat- her making those cakes, and she mud I bad belter try it. Bo I did. I emptied the batter all out of the pitcher one evening and sot the cakes myself. I got Ihe Hour and the salt ahd wider, and warned by the past, put in aliheral quan tity of eggs nml shortening. I shortened with tallow from roast heel hecmise f could not find any lani. The batter did not look right 'and I Id ray pipe, and pondered yeust—yeast to he sure. I had forgotten the yeast. I went and woke up the baker ahd got six cents worth of 'room above ‘and* - tfeht to ‘ bed.* in* ibo morning I got up curly and prepared to enjoy my triumph; but I That yeast was strong enough to rai-e the dead, and the batter, was ruuningnll over the carpet. I scraped It up and put it into another dish. Then X g°t a lire in the kitchen and put on the griddle. The .11 ret lot of cakes stuck to .the griddle.— The second dittoed, only,more. Maria came down and asked what was burning- She advised me to grease the griddle.- I did it,.] One end of the griddle got 100 hot. and I dropped tho thing on my tenderest com, whi.o trying to turn it around. Finally the cakes were ready for breakfast, and 'Maria got tho other things ready. We sal down. My cakes did not have exactly tho right llavor. I took one-mouthful and it satisfied mo. T lost my, appetite at once. Marla would not let mo put one on her plate. I think those fakes may be reckoned a dead 1or«; Tho cat would .not eat them. The dog .ran’off and staid away three days alter quo was oftcrud him The hens won tgo within ten feet of them. I threw them into the back yard, and there has not been a pig on the premises .since. I oat what is put before me now, and do not allude to my mother’s system of cook ing.’ ■ \ . Tug CoitXEit Jjiiafhh Bfcmvimu.— Tlio following slioioli of n H|iecij!.eil of , flu' corner loafer tribe, taken from the Daily &arafoglnn s of Saratoga, will no , don hi he endorsed as correct in every re *neet fly all 'who have ever conic across any of this shiftless, cornor-.obstrucling class : . , , . Ttic voung man on tlio comer with his hat a little to one shle, the slump ol a cheap cigar in his mouth, am! a stare for every lady "’ho passes, is u loafer. Do von know where lie g-ls his mone>? His motlierearna it for him hy taking In waHli in<r. poor soul! she. thinks her hoy will, get work soon. Hecouhi llml work sulll ctent to keep him busy f 1 11 eon hours a daVt if he wanted it. lint lie Is a lazy loafer and don’t want (o work. If ho docs got a place he shirks or does his work so poorly, that ho is soon discharged. Mo never works for the same man twice. Or perhaps he Is particular what kind of work he does, .'.Hu is .willing that, his motlier or sister should sow or wa»h_ to earn money for‘him to spend, hut ho is a little particular, ho is, what work he does with Ills own hands. He looks down on that sweaty, carpenter, who hurries by him, node Condescendingly to his friend thcahoemakcr.andaendsa whUl’ofsmoke into the eyes of the painter with both hands full of paint beta wild brushes. Ho could not borrow ten cents of any one of them; They know he would never pay it ft . They earn their money. Hebeguhis of his mother. Stylish boy, isn’t he? FUUNC'II’S CiIiCUS riol.D AT AUCTtOX, —French's Oriental Circus anil Egyptian Caravan, which exhibited in Carlisle <m the 131 li ult., was disposed ofin Trent'nn, N. J., a few days since. The jx-iprletor sold it liecause of pressing bind,less en gagements in New Orleans. Eleolmnls. camels, performing donkeys, .Shetland ponies, anil other. “ livimt curiosities' Were tmcceasfullv put up under the hum nicr and Were sold at good prices, Ihe large elephant “ Empress was sold to John O'Brien, of Philadelphia, forte 0(1). A baby elephant was put up- hut the bids, rose no higher than. Sli.-lW), ami the pro prlelor reserved the aiilmul, deuiunuiny -■25 000 for her. The train of double-hum* mnl camels, thirteen iu number, wt-ro Kolii for $5,200 to Jacob Uml, «t TUiUv delpliia. Tiie sarno purclmHcr bought a baby camel for $4OO ami thooamel har- UOH3CH and outfit for Ja’mea H. Maguire, pf Trenton, bought a perform 'ing pony for SSS that had been hold at SJUII by ’Mr. French, and two .Shetland nonius were sold to I ,vo Trentmi men for silfo and 575. The “ alar horse .of the esuihlishment brought :rili>. Mr. John O’Brien, of I'hlladelphia, being the pur chaser. Other perfmtiling horses wore sold at prices ranging M*oiu $2OO to t—<o. A F,‘.sill o :(AmdynIIng lady of rather attenuated figure while in the handsi of her dressmakers, became alarmed at the snaoinnsuess apporlinnod to her hndlec, and declared that she could never wear U, ami the silk had been wrongly rut. ’tar-, don me, Miide-moiselle,’ said the A/odcsfe. ‘the design Is ipilte correct; the lilting is exactly as it should bo. i have your dress, and now I must bring you vp to it. ME VOL. 57.—N0. 24. Hates far advertisements wui be inserted flt Ton Cen per lino for tho first Insertion. opd five con per lino for «nch subsequent insertion* Quar crly half-yearly, and yearly advertisements In orted at a liberal reduction on the'above rates Advertisement* should bo accompanied by th# Cash. When sent without any length of tlmo Aponlflod for pnbHoatlon, they will ho continued untilordoreil ontond cnnrgefi accordingly. JOB PRINTING* cards, KANDniLM.OmouLAiw. nmlcvory oth description of .Ton and Card Printing. Onus autr Bulls. The colors of a storm—blew. An fn-vocation—-Tending bar. A pound of flesh—A prize fight. The warlsoverin Europe—ifnot, fa it ? When the.lron is most ironical? When It ifl a railing. Why Is a worn out shoo Ilk© Greece? Because it onco bad a Solon. - The Good'* fellowship. ' What are tho host letters of* recom mendation ? £. s. d. ‘I’M oil when you talk of working p a« the cork said to the ginger-pop. When is a blow from a lady welcome?- When alio strikes you agreeably. Housewife's nmtto—whatever thou dost, dust it with nil thy might. Wii at relation does a tenant bear to his landlord? A pa3’-rcnt-al relation. When Is a thief like a seamstress? When lie cuts and runs. Witat was tho first bet made? The alpha-bet. . . People who Mvo to a Tlpoold ago,' can not bo blamed forgottlng-‘soft.’ An Invalid at tho seashore is trying to g«t up his strength Uy eating mussels. Wirv are good resolutions like fainting ladies? 'They want carrying out. . Ik depressed in mind, go ontinto the crowd. Perhaps some gentle pickpocket will relieve you. Tur. quietest young lady of the period never drosses herself now-a-daya without a groat hu*tlo. N.urn the most unsociable things in tho world.. •'Mile-stones; for you, never see two of Ibem , ■ A stan In Boston is so short that when he is ill ho doesn’t know whether ho has hoadacho or corna. ‘I. am looking up this form,’ as the printer said when be was discovered clas ' ping bis sweet heart in his arms. _ J- T . TTJ _—- w.m-o-n -inrHir JOO’ID lh£lC direction of.rata and mice; they are too likely to mew,till late. T/rra proverb that stolen kisses are sweet, is enforced by tho fact that they generally como from Inrses. Oaulylb says‘Make yourself n good rnnn, and then you may bo su r o there Is one the less rn.-cal In the world.’ Tm-; ‘-very careful mamma who bad a bar put‘across the nursery windows, to protect tho children,‘'says It don’t keep them fumi ‘falling out-’ Tn Paris, now-a-days, when a m.in it seen with a carpet-bag In bis .hand tbo inquiry, is: ‘What balloon do you take?’ or ‘ When do you go up ?’ When a lady Indulges in n yawn or two, gentlemen callers are justified in taking their, hats and viewing the house from the outside. It is said t.ho hearing of Fanny Fern’s husband’s lecture creates an intense long ing Ihr Heaven. Thcre’ll bo.no more Par ton there. Bv a singular coincidence, young Geo. Washington’s -unwillingness to lie, and an obt lien’s readiness to lay, both have something with a little haioh-it. Took. Lucinda took that olrctiß}9fanco ver.v nvufii-to 1 was that cir<s\ft/i* stance.’ An old lady announced in court that she had no counsel—that God Was bet* lawyer. ‘My dear"Madame,’ - replied the .j ud’go, Tledoaen’t practice in this court.’ Wjih.v a sfearly well-behaved' young man is sr*en shaking hands with a pump, ami bidding Uan aftectionategood-night, or saying, ‘Poor old Corbison Rohscrew,’ then} may he faint apprehension that he. has been ‘taking something.’ An irishman decapitated a turtle, and afterward was amu*lnirhimself hy put ting sticks into its month, which it bit with vio'eneo. A lady who saw tho pro ceedings exclaimed : Why P.it I thought the turtle was dead?’. SSo it is, ma’am, but the crathur's not sensible of it.’ A politician, who wa.s noted fornovor doing anything without a sinister pur* posei having tiled, the clergyman who preached his funeral sermon said that it would have been a great consolation to the friend* of the deceased, if they could have ascertained his motive in thus sud denly leaving ilium.. .... Mkn of fine feelings fascinate through n certain afieclionale watchfulness of the liltio wants of others, through a divining of ihcir most softly whispered wishes, •did a continual .sacrifice of tludr own; lhrongh. politeness whoso-silken hands I wine iiwri' gently-and closely round our hearts than do. tho rough cords of one great benefit. • ' ’ Among the Sunday -.School children of a certain church -wan a poor little fellow. He could not tell the nmnberofthe house il/ which he lived, and was charged when he next came to school to bring it. The next time he appeared he was 'askedlT lie brought. he number. ‘Xu, fiir,’ said lid ; it was nailed on the door so tight that I couldn’t get it oflV .uonsikuii find Madame Prudhomrae had heard much talk of works for the formications of Parts. ‘Joseph mv dear, do y*u Intend to go to the ramparts.?’. ‘I h ivc been already, Madame. 1 ‘Yoii don't undi‘in(and me; will ymi be there when the Prussians como into Paris?’ ‘Gabri j*|ll*, 1 Mild M. Prudbommc, with immense solemnity, ‘learn tbatyonr husband felt bound in honor to precede these van dale?.’ At a station on the overland route, the keeper got rather abort of provisions; in fact, had nothing left but a bottle of mus tard and some bacon. *Aa the stage stopp ed there one day to change horses, tho passengers seated themselves atthe table, and the host said : . ‘Shall I help you to a piece of the bftr con ?’. ‘No thank you, 1 never cat bacon,'-said the traveler. ‘Well then,’ -««ul thn station keeper, ‘bHp yourself to mustard.’ Two ladles were talking about thospar* rou-y and their usefulness in ridding the idly of iho clink or worms, which lined to ' a ntilxniice. Ono said that the uoiay idtirping of the sparrows, curly in the morning, when she warned to sleep, was as meat an evil ns the worms; the other disagreed. Just thou a gentleman came in and was appealed lo : ‘Mr. A., which do yon think the wont, sparrow* or worms’,” Me Immediately answered, '[ don’t know ; f never had sparrows.’ A r.kApTii’ui, Skntiment.—ln Au gustin Dalny’s great,play ‘Under the (iaslight,’ Laura Courtlaud utters these beautiful sentiments ’Let the woiuaifyoulook upon bo wise or vain, heaniilul or homely, rich or poor, she has hut o».e thing she cun give or re (use—her heart. Her beauty, her wit, her accomplishments, she may sell to you hn; her love is the treasure without money and without price. She only asks in return that when you look upon her, your eyes shall speak a mulo devo tion ; that When yon address her, your voice shall he gentle, loving and kind.— ’find you shall not despise her because she cannot understand all at once, your vigorous thoughts uud ambitious plans, for when misfortune and evil have de feated yohr greatest purposes'—her lovo remains to console you. Von look iifon the trees for strength and giandour; do Hot despise the dowers because their fra grance is all they have to glee. Koniem hur, love la all that a woman can give hulVla the only earthly thing which Mud permits ns (o carry hejqnd the grave,’
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers