slje American Volunteer,
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MOUNINU
BRATTON «te KENNEDY.
O rrICE— SOUTH jiibbet square.
fl’cuMs:—Two Dollars per year If paid strictly
. ..ivaiico: Two Dollars and Fifty Cents If paid
three mouths; after which Three Dollars
*.ll hn chanted. These terms will he nuklly ud-
f ll ‘ , to ju every instance. No sul.sorlpUon.dn,.
tinned until all arrearages are paid, unless al
IMoutlan ol Hip BcUHt.
•jjrofessional lilacos.
HUMIUCII. | WM. B. PAKKEK.
UUMBICH & PARKER,
- ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
Office oa Mala Sticct. ia Marlon Hall, Car
lisle. Pa*
IK-c. i M - > - .
g jfITEL states claim
AND
*REAL t ESTA TE AGENCY.
M. B. BUTLER,
attorney at law,
offlceln 2dStory of lubolTs Building, No.OSoutb
Hanover Street, Carlisle, Cumberland county
Bounties, Back Pay, Ac., promptly
by iftail, \ylll receive immediate
l pardcidar attention given to the selling or rent*
In* of Real Estate, In town or country. In all let
eraof loqiilrv, please enclose postage stamp.
July 11,W87-tr
Tjl £/ItELTZIIOOVER>
* ATTORNEY- AT~L A W,
CARLISLE. Pa.
iyOfUce oh South Hanover Street, opposite
Btuiz’s dry goods store.
Dec. I,
WM. J. SHEARER, Attoknev and
Counsellor .at Law; lias removed his
oflii'e lo the hitherto unoccupied room la tbo
North Bust corner of the CourfHouso.
lv
W KENNEDY,. Attorney at Law
t Carlisle, Penuu. OiUeesumo.as tluitol
atn*"Aiuerlcun Volunteer.”
Dec. i IWJ« •
tames H. Jr.,
J ATTORNEY AT LAW,
NO. 11 BOTUU HANOVER BT.,’
rAIUiISLK, PA.
OFFlCE—Adjoining JadgO Graham's.
March 31, lu7o-tf
EL. BHRYUCK, Justice of the
, Peace. OtUcO No 3, Irvin’s Row, Curlia,e.
iprll 29.1M19— ly ’ ' . ,
All. DEUKGE S. BEARIGHT, Den-
J TLST, - Frtnn thq BaUiintrre Colltye qf Dental
irt/ern. OHlce«it the reHldcuce of bis mother
asi Leather BiroiM,,three-doors below Bedfbrd
arllule, Peuna. . *•• •
Dec.l 1335.
REYNOLDS, M. D.
Graduate of HAHNEMANN MEDICAL* COL
EGc), Philadelphia.
Office, 2:1 West Lonthcr St., at residence of his
oilier. Cam a 10.
JnnoO, 70—3m*
DR. L Y. REED, Homeopathic Phy
sician, has located in. Carlisle, Olhce next
„r to St. Paul's Evauglllcal Churon, West
wthcr street. 1 Fritleuts from a distance please
II lu the forenoon.
March 17,1370—Urn*
JUWAKD SHILLING, M. L.
'I
8 PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
jYo. 20 J&vit Pomfret btrtcl, ‘
CAUI.ISLE.
Dr. Shilling was associated with Dr. ZUzer, In
I*. place, for a year of so, and has been pructic
,e in Dickinson township, for three yeuis. All
ti.fussloiinl business promptly attended to.
April 7,1370—31 U
EB. B. HißO£sB, Attorney and
COUNSELOR. AT t.A W,
FIFTH bTftLKT, BKLoW CHESTNUT,
Cor. Library. '
Philadelphia.
Oct 4. IBfl9-ly
#j?ais aim tffiavs,
RE H H HUMMER ARRIVAL
OF ALL TUB
IS EW STYLES
HAT S AND CAPS.
Ptio subscriber lias just opened al No. 15 North
mover afreet, u few uikii'h North of the Curl Isle
bmwlt Bunk, one of the hugest uiid bust Stocks
HATS and CAPS ever olfered In Carlisle.
Silk Hats. Casslinere of all styles and qualities,
Itf Brims. dltlbroni colors, and every doacrlp
id of Soft Hats now aiudu.
ihv Duukard and Old Fashioned Brush,con
iut!y on hand and made to order, all warmnt
loglvo satisfaction.
A full ossuitmcut of
MEN’S,
BOY'S, AND
CHILDREN’S.
HATS.
lave also added to ray Stooa, notions ol dlfler
i kinds, consisting of
IDIES’ AND GENTLEMEN'S STOUiaNQS,
ek'is 63, auspeiidrra,
Collars, Qlovcs ,
Pencils, Thread,
Helving Silk, • Umbrellas, Ac
PRIME BEGARS AND TOBACCO
ALWAYS ON HAND. .
Hvorae a call, and examine my stock as I feel
fildont of pleasing all, besides saving you mo-
JOHN A. KELLER. Agent,
No. 16 North Huhover Street,
lav. IbCO.
ATS AND CAPS I
DO YOU WANT A NICE HAT OB CAP ?
IF SO. DON’T FAIL TO CAL Li OK
J. G. GALLIC ,
go, 29.. WES 2 MAIN STREET,
lerccau be seen the finest assortment of
HATS AND CAPS
ir brought to Carlisle. Ho takes great pleas
i lu inviting his old friends and customers,
lull new ones, to his splendid stock just ro
ved from Now York and. Philadelphia, con
uagln part of tine
SILK AND CASBIMEBE HATS,
Idea an endless variety of Hats and Caps ol
s latest style, all ol which he will sell at the
vest Cash Prices. Also, his own manufacture
Huts always on baud, and
HATS MANUFACTURED TO ORDER. •
te has the best arrangement for coloring Hats
dull kinds of Woolen Clouds, Overcoats, Ac., al
:shortest notice (us he colors every, week; and
CLo must reasonable terms, Also, a line lot 01
oleo brands of
TOBACCO AND CIGARS
rays on band. Ho desires to call tboatteutlou
yursous who have
00-UNTR Y FURS
sell, as bo pays tbe highest cash prices for Uo
live him a cull, at the above number, his Hd
»ud, as bo feels coulldom of giving entire sa .is
ctiuu.
Hay unu.
iioota anti jpljocß.
'TKOHM & BROKSLER,
No 13, mouth Hanover Slreel ,
CARLISLE, y.PA,
thankful for the patronage extended them
fWufuro. cl.» now 'iiuiouQco rtlielf u&uul. lurgu
JCJt of eirHl^G.tjTYijKd.of
BOOTS AND SHOES
•FOR
|“*UIES’JA.ND MISSES','
. .
. . ,
.. •
. ... _ . .• . ...' ,
. ,
, * .
. .
. .
?, . ..
.4 O l t.l tett
:.....
... , ~.,
..:„.1,,,t L....
...
_.
•• . ~..
~..,.
.. .
BY BRATTON & KENNEDY.
IDcp iffiaoDs.
QHJEAP DI4Y HOODS,
CHEAP DRY GOODS,
AT THE
NEW STORE,
D. A, SAWYER,
D. A. SAWYER,
Irvine's Corner.
Bargains la
LAWNS,
GRENADINES. .
HERNANIS. ♦
BEREGES,
LACE POINTS,
SUMMER SHAWLS,
LACK CUR'IAINS.
parasols, Fans, «sc.
Piques,
Marseilles,
LOOK AT THE PRICES.
CALICOES, CM, 8, 10, 12M.
MU LINS. CM, 8. 10, 12M.
ginghams; i2U, m, • 15, 17.
TICKINGS, M, -18,. 22, 25*
Cheapest Pants Stull luthe»town
Cheapest Cloths and Casshners In iho town
Cheapest. Hosiery in the town
Cheapest Gloves and Handle’s, In the town
Cheapest Notions, all kinds lu the town
DRESS GOODS,'
Cheapest DoLalnek * In tiio town
Cheapest Poplins in the town
Cheapest Alpuccusblack scal'd in the town
Cheapest Hluck A Kancy Bilks In the town
Cneapest Japanese * lu the town
WHITE GOODS,
Cheapest Piques Fig, striped In the town.
Cheapest Muisailles lu the town.
Cheapest Percales in Iho town.
• Cheapest Chintzes , lu the town.
Cheap- st Embroideries &, Laces In the town;
Cheapest Collars<t'Cuffs in the town ’
Cheapest Table Linen In tuo town
Cheapest Aiipkins, &c. in the town
A splendid article Pique 25 dtt. All other
goods In proportion; I'omo and examine lor
yourselves. No trouble lo show goods. Our
motto is small protlts and quick sales.' .
Ti ese goods have been purchns d for cash, at
presen gold prices", and we can sell you now
g«-uus Lvv-euu-nve po cunt, less than they will
charge you for old goods ut other stores.
D, A. SAWYER.
June 2,1370.
GOODS!
DRY GOODS!!
ATTRACTIVE SPECIALTIES
HARPER’S
/•
OPULAR DRV GOODS STORE.
Purchased during tno greatest depression In
iho market, and to |po sold at correspondingly
low prices.
DRESS GOODS,
comprising all the novelties of tbe season,
MOURNING AND
SECOND MOURNING GOODS,
BLACK SILKS, BLACK SATIN TAMISES,
In extra quulltjv Pare Mohairs, Biack Alpaccas
(Specialty.)
WHITE GOODS,
Piques In great variety and latest. styles.—•
French Muslins, Nunsooks, Cambrics, Bishop
and \ Ictorla Lawns, Tarleloua, Ac., Ac.
HOSIERY AND GLOVES in great variety.
Guipure Laces—best and cheapest stock In
town. Real Valenciennes. Thread Laces, lu
sertlngs, Hamburg Embroideries and Lace
Collars.
LINEN GOODS,
Linen for suits,
Linen Ducks and Drills,
Pillow Cose Linens,
- Linen Sheetings,
Whltb llollundTor Blinds,
Table Linens and Napkins,
Doyile Towels,
White Spreads, <£c., «&c.
BOYS' CASSIMERES AND MEN’S WEAR,
newest styles, less than regular rates.
*•
SPECIAL NOTICE!
Opening of
LLAMA LACE POINTS,
LLAMA LACE ROCKR,
BEDOUIN MANTLES,
SHETLAND SHAWLS
THUS. A. HARPER.
Cor. of Hanover and Pomlret fcta.
Juno 23.187*.
Q.REAT COMMOTION
DRY GOODS,
On account of the redaction In Gold, the Dry
Goods Merchants who unUeistand their business
mid the cerium signs of the times, have reduced
the p’ icooi tholr goods con espondmyly. Tnesub
scriiiers have Just received from the cities a
largo and full assortment of all Kinds of
FOREIGN & STAPLE GOODS,
.which they wlllsellTowor than they have done
sluco 1801.
SILKS,
Wool Do Lalnes, Alpacas, Poplins, Serges, Rom
bazluea, Tuiuiho Cloth, Grenadines.
FLANNELS OP ALL KINDS,
Plain and Fancy, Linen Table 'Diapers, Cotton
do., Checks, Tickings, Ginghams,^counterpanes
EMBROIDERTE
a full lino; White Goods In great variety,
HOSIERY, GLOVES, TRIMMINGS
and a full stock
DOMESTIC GOODS,
Calicoes, Muslins, by tho piece or yard; Groin
buns.
CLOTHS, CABSIMERS, &o„
CARPETS. OJL CLOTHS,
Druggets, Window BbuUes, Matting*
MILINERY GOODS
of all kinds, Including Ladles and -Childrens
Hals and Sundowns, and Uio best assortment
and beslqualityofline Ribbons lutbocimnW.-
Kul Gloves, (best make,) Jewelry, I'uucy Goods
and Notions In great variety. This
MAMMOTH STOCK OF GOODS
ino largest In this section of country, Is offered
a. prices turn duly cumiiollllon. ami all wo ask
is a lair examination by good Judges of goons to
satisfy the public tlmt tuls Is tbo place to buj
and save money.
LADIES’ UNJDER WEAR,
A nice assortment o« Ladles’ Under Clothing
very handsomely stitched and trimmed ut
reasonable prices.
WuOL taken m exchange for goods.
' RENTZ&CO.
At the old Dry G«#da stand established Feb
ruary Ist. 181
March Iw—7o
“She Is dead I* they said to him. “Como away;
Kiss her and leave her, thy love Is clay!”
They smoothed her tresses of dark brown hair;
On ber forehead of stone they laid it fair;
Ovey her eyes which gazed too much,
They drew the lids wltn tender touch;
W l(h n tender touch they closed up w'll
The sweet, thin lips that had seci eta to tell
About her brows and beautiful face
They tied her vail and her marrlago-lace.
And drew on her white feet her white silk shoes
Which vero the whitest no eye could choose!
Irvine's Comer
And over her bosom they crossed her hands—
“ Come away,” they said, "God understands!”
4
And there was silence, and nothing there
But silence, and scents of cglaulerq.
And Jasmine, and rosea, and rosemary,
And they said, “As a lady should He, lies she.”
And they held their brealhsos they left, tho room
With a shudder, to glance at Its stillness and
gloom.
Rnl he who loved her too well to dread
The sweet, tho stately, and tho beautiful dead.
He lit his lamp, and took his key
And turned It. Alone again—he and she.
He and she; but she would not speak,
Though ho kissed, In the old 1)1000, the quiet
cheek.
Ho and she; butsho would not smile,
Thoiyth ho called her the name she loved ere
while.
Heandsho; still she did not move
To any one passionate whlspei of love.
Then ho said, “Cold lips, and breast without
I
la there no Voice? no language of death?
"Dumb to the ear and still to tho sense,
But lo heart and to soul Ulstinct.'intonao?
“Bee now; I will listen soul not ear;
-What was the secretof dying dear?
"Was It the Infinite wonder of nil
That you ever could let life’s flower fall ?
•Or was It a greater marvel to feel .
The perfect calm o’er the agony steal?
“Was the-,miracle greater to find how deep,
Beyond all dreams, sank downward that sleep?
‘Did life roll bark Jts record, dear?
And show, as they say it does, past things clear T
“Apd was It the Innermost heart of the bliss
To flndbut to what a wisdom love is?
“O, perfect dead I O; dead most dear.
I hold the breath of my soul to hear!
“T listen, ns deep ns to horrible bell.
As high ns to heaven, and you do nottoll I
‘There must be pleasure In dying, sweet,
To make yon so placid from head to feet!
"I would tell you, darling If I were dead,
And ’tworo your hot tears up on my brow shed,
“I would eaj\ though the angel of death hath
laid *
His sword on my lips to keep it unsaid,
‘You should not ask vainly, with streaming
eyes.
Which of all death’s was the, chlefeat surprise;
“The very strangest and suddeneat thing
Of all tho surprises thntdylng muat brine.”
Ah. foolish world ! Oh. most kind dead I
Though ho told me, who will holievo It wassold?
Who will.believe what he hoard her say,
With the sweet, soft voice, lu the dear old way
"Theutmostwonder Is this Thear,
And see yon, and love you, and kiss you deer;
“And am youraneel. who wasyour hrldo, •
And know, that though dead, I never died.”
cs_it
ONE IN WHICH MANY PERSONS MAY SEE. THEM-
‘ Albert. T wish you would let me have
seventy-five rents**
Kate Ltitiffman spoke very carefully,
for she knew that her husband bad j ot
much money to spare; yet she spoke
earnestly, and there was a, world of en
treaty in Iter look.
• What do you want seventy-five cents
for°*. asked Albert.
.* X want to get some braid: for my new
dress.*
* I thought you had all the material on
land for that. 1
‘So t thought I had ; but Mrs. Smith
mid Mrs. Thompson both have a trim
ming of braid up n theirs, and it looks
very pr'etly. .It is very fashionable, and
itcertamly adds much to the beauty of a
dress.’
* Plague take the c e women’s fashions!
Yourend'ess trlmminusand thlng-a ma
jigs cost more than the dress Is. worth.
It’s nothing but shell out money, when
once a woman tiiinka of a new dress.*
‘ I don’t have many new dre«ses. Ido
certainly, try to be as'economical as I can.*
‘lt is tunny, kind-of economy, at all
events. Rut if you mu!3t have it I'sup
pose you must.*
And Albert Landrttpin took out bis
wallet and counted out the seventy-five
.cents; hut he gave it {grudgingly; ami
when he put the wallet hack into • is
pocket he tilt! it with an emphasis 'which
seemed to say that he would not take it
out aauln for a week.
When Albert reached the outer door,
on his way to his work, he found the
weather so threatening that he conclu
ded to go back and get his umbrella; tfmi
upon re-entering the silting room he
found his wife In tears. She tried to hide
the fact she bad been weeping, but be
hod caught her in the act.* and asked
what it meant.
‘Good gracious!’ cried the husband, 'I
should like to know if you are crying at
what I said about the dress?’
‘ I was not crying at what you paid,
Albert,’ replied Kate tremulously; ‘but
you were so reluctant to grant me the
favor. I was thinking how hard I had
to work; I am tied to the house; bow
many little things I have to perplex me—
then to think—”
‘Pshawl—what do you wanf to be
foolish for?’
And away started Albert Landman a
second time, but he was not to escape so
easily. In the hall he was met by his
(laughter Lizzie, a bright-eyed rosy
cheeked girl of ten years.
* O, papa, give me fifteen cents?’
‘What?’ .
1 0.1 want fifteen cents. Do please
give It to me.’
‘What In the world do you want with
it? Are they changing school books
aienin?’
‘No; I want to buy a hoop. Ellen
Smith has got one, and so has Mary
Ruck and Surah El en. Mr. Grunt Inis
gut some real pretty ones Uo sell. Can t
X have one ?’
‘Nonsense! If you want a hoop go
mid get one ofi’some old barrel. I can t
afford to be buying hoops Tor you to trud
die about the streets.’
* Please, papa.’
* No, I told you,’ , . ,
The bright blue eyes fllW with tears/
and tho child’s sobbing broke upon his
ear. Albert Landman huirrled from the
house with some very itn.patient words
upon his lips. :
Tina was in the morning. At noon
when ho came home to his dinner, there
was a cloud over the household- His
wife was sober, and even' Lis little Lizzie,
usually gay and bllthsotoe, *wua sad and
silent. t
But these things could not last long in
DEAD.
A MIRROR.
SELVES REFLECTED.
CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, AUGUST 18, 1870.
that household, for the husband and wife
realty loved each other devotedly, apd
were at heart kind and forbearing. When
A|hert came to his supper,.Kate greeted
him with a kins, andln a moment sun
shine came back ; nnd bad the lesson
ended there, the husband might have
fancied that he had done nothing wrong]
and that the oicud bad been nothing but
the exhalation of a doriffeetio ferment,
for which no one wee particularly re
sponsible, and might have banished th 6
cou vict'ons that women's fashions were
a nuisance and a humbug, as well as a
frightful draft nbon a husband's pockets.
Alter tea, Albert did a few chores
around the house and then light a cigar
and walked nut. He had gone hut a short
distance when ho had met Lizzie. In her
right hand she dragged au old hoop,
which she had taken from a dilapidated
dour barrel, while with her left she was
rubbing her red, swo.len eyes. She was
In deep grief, and was nobhing painfully.
He stopped bis cbild and asked what was
the matter.
She answered, as \vell as her sobs would
let her, that the other girls had laughed
at her, and made fun of her old hoop.
They had nice, pretty hoops, while hers
was ugly and homely. .
1 Never mind,' said Albert, patting th«|
little one upon the head (fur the child's
grief touched him;) perhaps we’ll have
a new hoop sometime.’
‘ Mayn't I.have one now? Mr. Grant’s
got one left—oh such a pre’ty one I’
The sobbing had ceased, as the child
caught her father's hand eagerly.
‘Not now, Lizzie—not now. I’ll think
ofit.’
Sobbing again, the child moved on
towards home, dragging the old hoop
after her.
At one,of the stores. Albert Landman
met some of his friends.
‘Hello, Alberti- What’s up?'
- ‘ Nothing in particular.’
1 What doyousay tougame of billiards,
Albert?? . . .
4 Good, I’m in for that.'
And away went Albert to the billiard
hall, where lie had a glorious, time with
his friends. He liked billiards, it was a
healthy, pretty game, and the keeper of
the hull allowed no rough scruffs on his
premises.
They had played four games. Albert
had wou two, and his opponent bad won
two.
‘That’s two and two,’ cried Tom Piper.
‘ What do you say to playing them off,
Albert!’ • * . - -
‘ AH right, go in,’said Albert full of
animation.
Ko they ployed the fifth game, and he
who lost Wa*» to pay for the five gomes.
It was an exciting contest. Both made
capital runs," but In the end Albert was
beatten by three points; and with a Ilf tie
laugh went up to nettle the bill. Five
games, twenty, cents a game—just one
dollar. Not much for such sport; and
he paid out the money with a grace, and
never once seemed to feel that he could
not afford it.
‘Have a cigar!’ said Tom.
‘Yes.’
They lighted their cigars, and then
sauntered down the hull to watch others
Albert soon found himself seated over
against a fable on which some of his
friends were playing, and cloa»* by stood
two gentlemen, strangers to him, one of
whom was explaining to the other the
mysteries of the game.
* It is a healthy pastime,’said he who
had been making the explanation ; * ami
certainly it is one which has no evil ten
dency.’
■'Albert heard the remarks very plainly
and lie had a; curiosity to hear what the
other, wlinseemed to he unacquainted
with billiards, would say.
‘I cannot,- of course, assert that any
game.which calls forakill and judgment;
and which is free from the attendant of
gaming, is of self.an evil,’ remarked the
second gentleman. ‘ Huch things are only
evil j-o far ns they stimulaie men beyond
the hounds of h« althy recreation.’
‘That result can scarcely follow such a
game,’ said the first speaker.
But theolher shook his head.
‘ You are wrong here. The result can
follow in two ways : First, It can lead
men away from their business; it can
lead men to spend money, who have,not
money to spend. .You a ill understand
me. J would not cry down the uume ot
billiards, for If I understood it I should
certainly try you a game now ; but when*
ever I visit a place of this kind I am led
to reflect upon a most strange and promi
nent weakness of humanity-as developed
in our sex. For instance ob-erve that
young man who is just settling his bill
at the desk. He looks like a mechanic,
and I should say from his manner, and
from the fact that he felt it his duty to go
home at this hour>Lhut be has'a wife and
children. I see by his face that he is
kind hearted and generous, arid 1 should
judge that he means to do us near right
us lie can- Hohas been beaten, and he
pays one dollar and forty cents tor the
recreation of some two hours' duration.
If you observe you will see that he pays
it freely, and pockets the loss .with a
smile. Happy faculty I Buthow.doyou
suppose it Is in the voung man’s home?
Suppose his wife hail come to him this
morning and asked him for a dollar to
spend for some trifling thing, some
household ornaments, or some hlft of jew
eliy to adorn her person—and suppose
ids little child had put In a plea for fdrry
cents to buy a pnper'aml picture books
with what do you think he would have
answered ? Of fifty men just like him,
would hot forty and fifty have declared
that they had not money to spore for any
such purpose? And moreover, they
would have said so, feeling that they
were telling the troth* Am,l not right?’
‘Upon my soul.’ responded the man
who understood billiards, ‘You speak to
the point. I know that young man who
has just paid his bill, and you have not
misjudged him a single particular* And
what is more, t happen to have a fact at
bond to illustrate 3 our charge. We have
a’Club for an excellent Mtera y paper In
our village, and last year that man was
one of our subscribers. This year ho felt
obliged to discontinue it. His wife was
very anxious to take it, for it had become
a genial companion in leisure moments,
but be could not afford It. The club rate
was one dollar and fifty cents a year.’
•Aye, and so it goes,’ said the other
gentleman. ‘ Well, that man’s wife may
be wishing at this very moment that she
had her paner to read* while be is paving
almost Its full price for a year*-for what?
And how smilingly he does it. Ab !
those poor sympathizing wives! How
many clou ts often darken upon them
froqi the brows of their husbands when
they ask for t-lfling sums of money, and
how grudgingly.the mite is bandied over
when it is given I What perfect floods
of joy that dollar and forty cents might
have poured upon the 1 children of that
unsuccessful billiard player. Ah! It. is
well for such wives and children that they
do not know where the money all goes.
They had finished at ihe nearest table.
The two gentlemen moved on, and Al*
nert Landman arose from his seat and
left the house. Never before had he
such thouVfats as now possessed him ; h©
hud ueverdwelt upon the same grouping
ideas. That very morning his own true,
faithful, loving wife bud been sad and
because he had harshly and
unklnkly met her request for a small
sum of money. And his sweet Lizzie
hud crept away to her home almost
broken-hearted for the want of a simple
toy, such as her mates possessed. And
yet the sum of both their wants amount
ed to not as much he had paid away that
evening for billiard playing.
Albert Landman wanted to be an hon
est husband and father, and the lesson
was not lost upon him. On his way
home he stopped at Mr. Grant's and pur
chased the best and prettiest hoop to be
found, With driving stick painted red,
white and blue, and In the morning,
when he beheld his child's delight, and
hud received her grateful, happy kiss, the
question came to his mind : which was
the best and happiest result, this or the
five games of billiards ? The hoop had
cost thirty cents. He could play two
games of billiards less, and be ll& abso
lute gnhjerof ten cents by the pleasant
operation.
A few mornings after this, as Albert
rose from the breakfast table he detected
an uneasy, wistful look upon bis wife’s
face. :
‘Kate, what is it?’
.‘Albert could you spare me a halfdol
lat this morning?’
And out came the wallet, and the
iponey was banded over with a warm,
genial smite.
( What! Tears at that? Was it possible
she had been so little used to such scenes
on his part that so simple an act of lov
ing kindness thus affected her.
How many«games of billiards would be
required to secure such satisfaction as
Albert Landman carried with him that
morning to his shop.
A very simple lesson, is. it not? But
how many nmv gain lasting profit by
giving heed to the lesson !
* * -
Dread Upon tho Wntcrs-Au Affecting
Story.
* Please, sir, will you buy my chestnuts?’
‘•Chestnuts! No!” returned Kulph
Moore, looking cnrlessly down on the
upturned face whose large, brown eyes,
shadowed hy tangled curls of flaxen hair,
were appealing so pitifully to his own.
' What db I want with chestnuts?’.
‘But, please sir, buy em,’ pleaded the
little one, reassured by the rough kind
ness of his tone. ‘No body seems to care
or them, and—and— ’
She fairly burst into tears, and Moore,
who had been on the point of brushing
carelessly past her, stopped instinctively.
‘Are you very touch in want of the
.money?' *
* Indeed, air, we are,’ sobbed the child;
mother sent me out, and—
• Nay, little one, don’t cry In such a
heart-broken way,’ said Ralph, smooth
ing her hair down with careless gentle
ness.
Vl\don’t want your chestnuts, but
here’s-a quarter for you, if that will do
you any good.’
He did not stay to here the delighted
incoherent thanks the child poured out
through a rainbow of smiles and tears,
but strode on his way, muttering between
his teeth— • .
‘That cut off my supply of cigars for
thd next twenty-four hours. T don’t care
though ; the brown eyed objectdld cry as
if it had’nta frl«ud In the world Hang
it I I wish I was rich enough to help
every poor creature outjof the slough of
despond I’
While Ba’ph Moore was ihdulging In
these very natural reflections, the dark
eyed little damsel whom he had comfort
ed was dashing down the street with
quick, elastic footsteps, utterly regardless
of the basket of unsold nuts that s'ill
dangled upon her arm. Down on obscure
lane she darted,- between tall ruinous
rows of houses, and up a narrow wooden
staircase to a room where a pale, neat
looking woman with large brown eyes
like her own, was sewlng«as busily as if
the breath of life depended upon every
stitch, and two 111 tie ones were content
edly playing in the sunshine, that tem
porarily supplied the place.of the fire.
‘ Mary I hack already? Surely you
have not sold your chestnuts so soon ?’
‘Oh, mother, mother! see,’ ejaculated
the breathless child, ‘ a gentleman gave
me a whole quarter; Ouly think, mother,
a whole quarter!’ . .
If Ralph Moore could only have seen
th» rapture which his tiny silver gift di
ffused around it in the poor widow’s t ov
erly stricken home, he would have urged
still less tl e temporary privation of cl
j,s«ro to which hla generosity had subject
ed him.
******
Years came and went. The little
chestnut girl passed as entirely out of
Ralph Moore’s memory as if pleading
eyes had never touched the soft spot in
h’is heart, hut Mary Lee never forgot the
stranger who had given her the silver
piece.
.**,* * * * * *
The crlm«on window curtains were close
ly drawn (Toshut out llie storm and temp
est of the black December night—the fire
was glowing cheerily in the well-filled
grate, and the dinner table in a glitter
wiih cut glass, rare china and polished
silver, was only waiting for the presence
of Mh-Audley. *
‘ What can it be that detains - papa?'
said Mrs! Audley, a fair, handsome ma
tron of about thirty, as she glanced at
the dial of a tiny enameled watch. ‘ Six
o’clock, and he does not make his ap
pearance!’ ‘
‘ There’s a man with him in thestudy,
mamma—come on business,’ said Robert
Audley, a pretty boy, eleven years old,
who was reading by the fire.
- . * I’ll cull him npaiu t ’saldMrB. Audley,
stepping to the doOr.
But, as she opened it, the brilliant gas
light fell full on the face of an humble
looking man, in" worn and threadbare
garments, who was leaving the house,
while her husband stood in the doorway
of his study, apparently relieved to be
rid of Ills visitor.
•Charles,’ said Mrs. .Audley, whose
cheek ;hud paled and flushed, ‘who
is that man, and what does he want?.?
‘ His name is Moore, I believe, and he
came to see if I would bestow upon him
that vacant measeftgerribip in the hank.’
‘And will ypu?’
’ ‘ I don’t know, Mary,’ I must think
about it.’ *
‘Charles, give him the situation.’
‘Why, my love?’
‘ Because ! ask* it of you as a favor, and
you have said a thousand times ’you
'would never deny me anything.’
‘ And I will keep rny word, Mary,’ said
the lover husband, with an affectionate
hiss. * I’ll write the fellow a note this
evening. I believe I’vo got his address
.about me somewhere.’
An hour or two latter, when Bobbie,
Frank and Eugene were snugly tucked
In bed In the snactous nursery above stairs,
Mrs. Audley told her husband why she
was so Interested in the fate of a man
whom she had not seen for twenty years.
* That’s right, ray little wife,’ replied
her husband, folding her fondly to his
breast, when the simpletale was conclu
ded, * never forgetone who has been kind
to you iu the days when you needed
kindness most.
Ralph Moore was sitting In his poor
lodging beside his ailing wife’s sick bed.
when a liveried servant brought a note
from the rich and prosperous bank direc
tor Charles Audley.
• v‘Good news, Bertha!’ he exclaimed as
hQ read the brief words. ‘We shall not
starve—Mr. Audley promises me the va
cant situation.'
‘ You havedropped-something from the
note. Ralph,’ said Mrs. Moore, pointing
to a slip of paper on the floor.
Mbore stopped theestray. It
was a fifty dollar bill neatly folded in a
piece of paper, on which was written:
‘ln grateful remembrance of a silver
quarter tbat a kind stranger bestowed
on a little chestnut girl over twenty years
ago.’
Ralph Moore had thrown his morsel of.
bread on the waters, and after many days
it had returned to him* r
A gentleman in New Orleans was
agreeably surprised the other day to find
a plump turkey served up for dinner,
and enquired of his servant how it was
obtained. ‘ Why, sir,’ replied Sambo,
* dat turkey has been roosting on our
fence tree nights, so dis morning I seize
him for de rental) de fence.’
A juryman wua asked whether he had
been ch irped by the judge. * Well,’ sold
ho, 'the little fellow time sits up In the
pulpit ami stares over the crowd gave us
u lecture, but I don't know whether ho
charged anything or not.’
The best tiling to give your enemy is
forgiveness; to your opponent, tolerance;
to your child, u good example; to your
self; respect, to all men, charity.
ADVICE TO <HRI<S.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.
1. The man who is jealous of every lit
tle attenshuu which you get from some
other fellow, you will phlnd, after yu are
.married tew him, he Juvs himself more
than he diiz yu, ami what ybu took for
solicitude yu will discover; has changed
into indifference. Jealousy isn’t a harte
disease, it iz a liver complaint.
2. A mustaob iz not iudispenslblo; It
iz only a little more hair, and iz A a good
deal like moss and other escressencis—
often duz tho best sile that won’t raze
anything else. Don’t forgit that those
things which yu admire in a fellow be
fore marriage, yu will probably, hev to
admirein a husband after, and a
muatash will be a very weak diet after a
tiine.
3. If husbands could bo took on trial,
os Irish cooks are, tew thirds oy them
would probably bo returned, hut there
don’t seem to be enny law for this.—
Therefore, girls, yu will see that after yu
git a man yu have got to keep him, even
if you do lose on him. Consequently, il
you have got enny cold victuals in the
house, try him on them, once iua while,
during the season,and iflie swatters them
well, and sez bo will take some more, he
is a man who, when blue Mondays cum,
will wash well.
4. Don't marry a pheller who is always
a telling how his mother duz things. It
is as bard tew suit these men az it is to
wean a young one.
5. If a young man kan beat you play
ing on the planer, and han’t hear a fish
horn playing In their street without a
back somerset on account of the muslck
tbat iz iu him, I say ship bim ; hemight
answer tew teu.d the babe, but if you put
him,to hoeing out the garden, you will
find tbat you will have to du it yourself.
A man whose heft lies in music (and not
very hefty in that) ain’t no better for a
husband' than a sedlitz powder, but if be
luves to listen while yu sing some gentle
ballad, you will find bim mellow and so
soft. But don’t n arry eunybody for gist
one virtue any quicker, than yu would
flap a man for only.gist one fault.
0. It is one of the most tuffest things
fora female tew bean 6: d maid success-
fully.* A great raminy has tried it and
made a bad job of it. Everybody seems to
look on old maids just as they do on dried
yarbs—in the garret, handy for sickness,
and it ain't a mistake that
you should be willing to swop yourself
opb, with sum true fellow fora’true hus
band. The swop iz u good one, but don’t
swop for enuy'tmiD who iz respectable
just because his father iz. Yu had bet
ter, be an’old maid for 4 thousand years,
and then join the Shakers, than tew buy
rejleulanoe at this price. No womau,
ever made this trade who didn’t get'
either a phool, or a mean cuss fora hus
band.
7. Jri digging down into this subject I
find the digging grows harder the further
I get. It Is much easier to inform you
who doc to marry, than who tew, for the
reason there iz more ov them.
I .don’t think you will toller my advice
if I give It; and therefore keep it,
for I look on advice as I da on castor ile
—a mean dose to give anil a mean dose to
take.
Bull must say one thing, girls don’t
spile. If you can find a bright-eyed,
healthy and well ballasted boy, who
looks upon poverty ez sassy ez a child
looks upon wealth, who had rather set
do\Vu on the curbstone in front of the
6tb avenue hotel and eat a ham sand
wich than go inside and run in debt tor
his dinner and toothpick—l tbat is arm
ed with that kind of ptuck that mistakes
defeet for victory, my advice iz v to take
him hotly ami sole—anuro him .at once
'for be iz.a stray trout, of a breed very
scarse in our wafer's.
Take him, I say, and blld onto l?im us
hornets blld onto u tree*
Tlte tVccdlo Gun,
A writer in the Chicago Tribune gives
his description of the Prussian needle
run,' which will probably play an Impor-
ant part in the coming battles of Eu-
1. The range of the needle gun is
1200 to 1400 yards.
. 2. The movements of loading are per
formed with the'right hand as follows:
an upward stroke with the palm of the
right hand against the chamber knob
opens the breech, the carl ridge is inserted
into the cavity of the bairel, a push for
ward and a downward stroke of the
chamber knhb with the right hand closes
the breech, and another push on the
needle chamber (with its spiral springs,)
completes the loading, and the rifle is
ready for ‘Fire.’ During the movement
the gun is held with the left hand at a
•ready.’
'3. The gun Is never loaded.or reload
ed while at ‘aim,’ simply because it is
impossible to do so.
4. The powder is not ignited at tho
rear end of the cartridge, but next to the
hall, where the Igniting matter is placed
in a kind of socket of papier nanefce, and
this is what gives more power to the bal
the powder burning from the front to
tho rear.
5. The cartridge is made up—ball in
front, ball socket with igniting mnttfer,-
powder* The shape of the ball resem
bles the shape of a encumber,and is call*
edlong lead (tang bid.)
C The recoil of tho gun is felt only
when it becomes very much heated, and
the air chamber filled with the refuse of
powder; When dean no recoil is felt at
all.
7. In cose the needle should bend or
break or otherwise become useless, a new
one can he Inserted in less than five sec
onds. Each soldier carries an extra sup
ply of about six needles.
It Is not so much’ the superiority of
the needle gun over other breech load
ers which has secured and in all proba
bility will in the present strugle secure
success to the Prussian army, as it is the
thourough education of each individual
soldier and his familiarity with his
weapon.
The needle gun was first used in
Prussia in 1848 and In 184 u, in Baden
and Scholswlg, and not having been
deemed effective without an entire
change of tactics, and especially of skir
mish instruction, was almost condemnod.
The Prussian array ban butene cnlibie
for all small arms, so that infantry or
sharp shooters can be supplied with car
tridges from any cavalry, pistol or car
tridge wagons.
Day ANExftiGirr in Sweden.—The
peculiarities of the day and night In'
Sweden strike the traveler very forcibly,
after being accustomed to the temperate
zone. In June the : ?uri goes down In
Stockholm a* .little before ton o’clock-
There Is a great Illumination all night,
as the sun pnssesuround the earth toward
the North Pole, and the refraction of Its
rays is such that you can see to read at
midnight without any artificial light.
There is a mountain at the head of Both
nia where on the 21st of June, the sun
does not appear to go down at all. The
steamboat goes up from Stockholm,, for
the purpose of conveying those who are
curious to witness the phenomenon. It
occurs only on one night. Thosun reach
es the horizon; you can see the whole
face of it, and in fiVe minutes more It be
gins to rise. At the North Cape, latitude
72 deg., the sun does not go down for sev
eral weeks. In June It would be about
25 deg. above the horizon at midnight.
In the winter the sun disappears, and Is
not seen for weeks; then It comes, ami
remains for ten or fifteen minutes, after
which it descends, and finally does not
set at all, hut makes almosta circle round
the heavens. ,
* Heke, Alfred, la an apple; divide It
politely with your little sister.’ ‘How
shall I divide It politely, mamma?’ ‘Give
the large part to the other person, my
child.’ Alfred handed the apple to his
little sister, saying: ‘Here, sis, you di
vide It youraolf.’
VOL. 5T.-NO. 10
Points of Ellqnctto.
Don’t fidget with the hands or feet.
Let alone the watch chain and necktie.
Quiet ease, without stiffness indicates
gentle breeding* *
Don't speak of persons, with whom
you are only slightly acquainted, by
their first name.
It is unladylike to stand with, the
hands on the hips or the arms folded.
Irritability is a breach of good morals
ns well as good manners. General cour
tesy we owe to all.
J3e punctual. It is always annoying to
bo kept waiting and often a serious det
riment to one’s business.
"•Answer a civil question pleasantly and
kindly, even If you are In a burry. .
Jokes are dangerous things, to be used
like gunpowder, with extreme caution.
If possible, always be at a station a
few minutes before the cars start. Get
ting abroad a train while it is m motion
fa not favorable to bodily safety, nor to
‘hat calmness of mind which leads us
to act wisely*
Don’t be disturbed if you find the best
seats taken. As no one knew you w»*re
coming, of course they did not reserve
one.
Should you purchase your ticket at
the oilice a small saving is the result, be
sides avoiding’the hinderence of making
change which many conductors dislike
to dor
Have your ticket in your hand. Con-
ductors havn’t always lime to wait till
the portmonie, pocket and traveliug bag
ace searched, before receiving it. We
once saw a lady, when the conductor de
manded her ticket, dive to Ul9 lower
most depth of her traveling hag/where
she clutched something frantically, and
in blind baste, handed the waiting ofli
cia! a fine tooth oomb, supposing it to be
her ticket, which she afterwards found
in the folds of her garments.
When a car is crowded don’t fill a seat
with your bundles. True politeness is
not amiss, even amid the confusion ami
bustle in a public conveyance. If an
open window proves uncomfortable to
another you will close it.
Whispering in church is impolite Be
sides showing disrespect to the speaker.
It is extremely annoying to those who
wish to hear. Coughing should bo avoid
ed as much as possible. Sleeping, with
its frequent accompaniment, snoring
had better he done at home.
-Violent perfumes, especially those
containing musk, are offensive to many
people, and to some positively distress
ing. Don’t scent yourself when goliig to
any crowded.assembly.
When the postmaster hands your mall
to you don’t ask him if ‘that is ail.’
When he says there is no mail for you
don’t reply tartly ‘there bugbt to be,’
nor ask him to look again.
If you.have a box, don’t stand drum
ming on it till the postmaster hands you
the contents. Sucn manifestations of
impatience are unpleasant, especially if
he is waiting on somebody else.
. Ftnady, at all times and in all places,
‘Whatsoever ye would that others should
do to you, do you even so to them,’ for
these simple words are the basis of all
true courtesy.
Didn’t Catoii IUO Trntui
The most diUlcult.thlng.says a cynical
old bach, In the world fora woman to do
is to get ready to go anywhere. And
there is nothing a woman will resent
quicker or more fiercely than an intima
tion (hut she may possibly mbs the train.
Our friends, Brayfogle, gives us an in
stance of this. Mr. Bray fogle was sup
posed to take the ten o’clock train on
the Bee Hue, to visit some relative In an
interior town. . Having suffered on pre
vions occasions from injudicious sugges
tions, Bray thought, for once he would
let things take their own course.' So he
sipped his coffee and ate' his eggs on
toast, while mudame curled and powder
ed and danced attendance on the looking,
glass and tied her hair on tbo back ol her
bead.
Then Bray safe by the stove an hour
reading the morning paper, while the
madame still continued loget ready. At
lust, just as he had reached the filial
paragraph, raadame tied her. bonnet
sitings under her chin, took one long,
lingering, loving look at* the image re
flected in the glass, and announced :
‘Well, my dear. I’m ready. ’
‘Ready for what?’ asked Bray, iq well
affected astonishment. 4 '
‘To go to the depot, to be sure, 1 said
M>h. Brayfogle,.tartly.
‘Oh !’said Bray, *l'd forgotten. Well,
madame,' continued he, looking at his
watch, that train has been gone thirteen
minutes. Just keep on your things, and
you’ll be ready for the train to-morrow
morning.’ ,
We draw a veil over what followed.—
We ere assured, however, that the next
morning Mrs. B. was ready an hour
ahead of lime.
Sal and Jake.— ‘ Git eout, yew nasty
puppy!- ‘Bet me alone, or I’M toll your
ma I’ cried put Sally to her lover Jake,
who sat about ten feet from her pulling
dirt from the chimney jam.
‘ I ain’t toucbln’ on you Sal.’ respond
ed Juke. " *
4 Wall, yerhaps you don’t mean to;
nuther—do yer?’
* No, I don’t. 1
‘Cause you’re tarnal scary! you long
legged, lantern-jawed, slab-sided, pigemi
eyed, gangle owl, you! you havn’tgota
bit', o’ sense!, put along home with yon.’
‘Now Rai, I love you, and can’t help
It, and If you don’t let me stay and cnurt
you my pap will sueyour’n for that cow
he sold him ’tother day. By jingo, ho
said he’d do it.* •«
‘Well, look hero,' Jake,Uf you want to
court mo you’d better do it as a white
man does that thing, and not set orf thar
as if you thought I was pizen.’
x ‘ Row on alrth is that, Sul ?’ £ .
‘ Why ride right up hero, and hug and
kiss me, as if yon had some of the bone
and sinner of a man about you. Do you
suppose a woman’s only made to look at,
you fool you ?’
‘ W611,’ said Jake, drawing a long
breath, ‘if I must, I ’spose I must, fori
love you Sal!’ and so Jake commenced
sliding up to.her. Laying hisnrm grace
fully upon Sal’s shoulder, and placing
himself in a theatrical • attitude, wo
thought we heard Sal exclaim in sweet
silvery notes ftko those of a dying swan :
* That’s the way to rlo it, oh! boss!
that’s it. ‘Oh! Jerusalem a-n-d pan
cakes!’ s&ld Jake, drawing the bock of
bis hand across his mouth, ‘Buckwheat
cakes, slap-jacks and lasses ain’t no
whar, long side o’ you, Sal!’ Here their
lips came together, and the report chatT
followed was like pulling a horse’s hoof
out of the mire.
A Large Cann<)^.—A smart Yankee
\ys3 one ov,oning’ , seatfcd in a bar-room of
a country tavern in Canada, whittling
with ajack knife. There were assem
bled several Englishmen, discussing va
rious mutters connected with the pomp
and circumstance of war. In the course
of his remarks, one of them stated that
the British government possessed the
largest cannon in the world, and gave
the dimensions of one ho had seen. The
Yankee would not let such a base asser
tion puss uncnnlnulicted. ‘Fob ! gentle
men,’ said he; *1 won’t deny that it is
a fair-sized cannon ; but you are a leetle
mistaken in supposing it Is to bo named
the sumo minute with one of our Yankee
guns which I saw in Charleston last
year. Why, sir, it was so large that the
soldiers were obliged to employ a yoke
-of oxen to draw in the hall!’ 'And pray,’
exclaimed one of his hearers with a
smile of triumph', 'can you tell us how
they got the oxen nut again ?’ ‘Of course
I can,’ returned the Yankee ; ‘they un
yoked ’em and drove ’em through the
touch-hole I’
A gentleman, speaking of a young
beauty’s fashionable, yellowish hair, call
ed it pure gold. 'lt ought to be,’ quoth
K,; ‘it looks like twenty-four carrots*’
Hates for atocrtisinij.
advbrtjbbmknth win Do inserted at Ten Coal
per lino lor tho first insertion, and flvo cena
per lino for each.,subsequent Insertion. Q,nar
orly half-yearly, and yearly advertisements in
serted at a liberal redaction on tho above rates
Advertisements should be accompanied by tho
Cash. Wnen sent without any lebgth of thno
specified for publication, tbey will bo continued
until ordered out and enarged accordingly.
JOB PRINTING.
CAKn3,HANt>niMA,CTnctn.Aiw, and every
er description of Jon and Caro Printing,
(Sms of iLfterature.
VALENTINE FIKOM A BABY TO UIS
IMP*, r,
Dear old papa. I dot Ver loiter.
My old mammy, she dltten beltci—
She every day Ilitlo bit stronger, ,
Don’t mean to ho sick very much longer.
Dear little baby had a bad colic,
Had to take tree drops nasty parngollc;
Took a dose of tatulp. folt worse than over,
Shan't lako no laoro tatnip, never.
■ Wlpd on stomlt, felt pooty bad, -
Worst fit of sickness I ever had ;
Ever had belly.ate, dear Papa Dill?
Talu’tno fun, say what ’oo will.
I’m growing fat—twenty Inches round,
Only link o’dot, gained most two pound;
Little flannel blankets was too big before,
Nurse can’t pin me In ’em no more,
Skirts so fpnall, baby stout.
Had to let tho plaits In ’em all out;
Got a head o’ hair Jess ns black as night.
And big bio eyes, yat look very bright.’
My mamma says, never did see
Any ozzer baby half so sweet as me;
Can’t ylte no more, so dood bye
Jolly old papa, wlz a pray eye.
Tin-: prettier the foot and ankle, the
easier it gets up stairs.
Can a maternal parent of a canine sort
be called a dogma ?
Tub first Eve-angelical alliance
Adam’s qiarrlage in Eden.
Grocers should remember that hon
est.tea is the best policy.
The sweetest of strains—trying to lift a
pretty girl on a horse.
For singers, only; What is the beat
wine foi the voice? Canary.
This is a good year for-crops, but the
fly crop discounts all the rest.
Codfish as a dish is good ; but as an
aristocracy it is open to objection.
The man who would keep.his head
cool shouldn’t put a stove pipe on it.
Chinamen eat with chopsticks, and
use no spoons, Butler is down on ’em.
1 An indolent fallow declares he prefers
rolls in bed to rolls at breakfast.
Does it change tho complexion of a
colored base bull club to bo whitewashed.
A Pennsylvania school marm re
cently ‘struck lie.’ But it was a juven
ile. ,
A great benefactress of Egypt—Tsis.
A great blessing in this country—lce is-
A very clever distinction—A lover is
a suer an heiress-hunter a purse-suer. ’
She who can compose a cross baby is
greater than she-wholcompoaes books.
'A nursery must be a grelxt place for
dnneing—it is generally a regular bawl
room.
The young lady who ‘took the eye of
everybody’ has been arrested for steal log.*
- Is it any evidence because a woman
has a mobile face that aho ia a native of
Alabama ?
. Chandler is to have a bust—bv a
Virginia scnlp’or. He has tho .other
kind every week.
Milkmen are happy fellows. They
enjoy themselves at the watering places
all the year round.
Life sometimes hangs by a single
thread—nut not long. Hemp and fif
teen minutes does the business.
Man may be a worm.; but a glance at
the dandles proves that he is. not the
worm that never dyes.
When a man is sleepy, what sort of
transformation does be desire? He
wishes lie wer^a-lied.
What do wo seek redress for when
we go to law ?—‘lnjuries.’ Where do we
Audit? ‘ln juries’.’ •
The sending of negro troops to fight
the Indians on the plains may bo called
the new game of rourjc ct noir..
The mrtst direct method? of determin
ing. horse power. Stand behind and tick*'
le his hind legs with a briar.
It Is an interestlngslght to seeaybung
lady wi(h both hands in soft dough and
a mosquito on the end of her nose.
The boot heels and the bonnets of the
ladles grow smaller and smaller, though
they represent opposite extremes.
A young gentleman who does not ad
mire blondes says that the foolish vir
gins are .the red-haired girls that use no
oil.
An old Greenland seaman said ho
could really believe that crocodiles shed
fears, for he had often scon whales blub
ber.
, A good excuse for married ladles to in
dulge in tight lacing is. that in a good
housekeeper there should bo ‘no waste.’
An Irishman was challenged to fight
a duel, but declined on the plea that he
did not wish to leave his mother an or
phan.
Home one says if the night.air is as un
healthy as the doctors say it is, how do'
-they then account for the longevity of
owls?
Mas. Partington says that because
dancing girls nfe sta r s, it is no reason
why they should be regarded as Heaven
ly bodies.’
Wry does the ocean commerce of
America remind one of the railings of a
gallery? Because, just now, it is simply
ballast trade.
The absurd whisky meter* having just
been, abolished, all our drinking songs
will probably to set in future to ‘com
mon meter.’
TharE Iz a great deal of magnificent
poverty In our big citys—people who eat
klam soup out ov a tin basin -with a gold
spoon.’
Tiri entire police force of a Pennsyl
vania town resigned in a body the other
day, from lonesoraeuess. It was a man
named Jones.
A swtm*mtng school in Frankfort on
the Main announced in English : ‘Swim
ming Instructions given by a teacher of
both sexes.’
A woman in Wisconsin says that when
her husband is a little drunk he kicks
her, and that when he Is very drunk she
kicks him ; and she adds that she does
most of the kicking.
A (jurat fact crops up—Amateur gar
deners are the most geuerfidtf of mo- it is
a pleasure with them to ’fork over’ their
grounds.
‘I have a great love for old hymns,’
said a pretty girl to her masculine friend,
‘I am much fonder,’ he replied,‘of the
young hers.’
Fish remains in the Cabinet—so he
(*nys“-lo accommodate Grant. It is thus
that prominent men sacrifice themselves
for their country.
It is said that all Japanese wombu can
read, write ami cipher. An exchange
fiuya: *ln civilized nations men ‘siglx-for’
them.’ Oh!
.A HUSBAND; in the city, wlio inter
viewed his wile, says she is right on the
leading questions of the day, but wrong
on the leading strings.
It was asked by a scholar, why master
Thomas Hawking did not marry Miss
Blatrrovc, ho was answered. ‘He couldn’t
master her, so he missed her.’
An advocate having lately gained a
suit for a poor young ludv, who was,ugly
remarked. ‘1 have nothing to pay you
but my heart. 1 ‘ Hand it over to my clerk,
if you please; I wish no fee for myself ’’
he replied.