mabkex sqnnE. , nnllnrs por year If paid strict!: • —"" „—'Two “ffliara and Kilty Corns If puli • »»«•• Tff ”th«- a™“r waloP Three Dollar , - ■ ■■ :T"-. —-" ■ ■ -■■■■■■• ?llm* 'i‘ on i,,“ terms will bn rigidly ad : : ' !twnl ell - nubrnce. No subscription dll Iw lu ev .'!fT,ii urrnaragcs are paid, uulcos r . ■ fl , ' ■■ - iT»Tfil il?nrTYct example of such men as Washington, .hideous depth to whinl - . ■ Madlsbn and Jackson, rather than the if true, would dm** * . ~— ■ — ■ w.——i precepts of those small but ferocious pol- true; tlie wh" '"mjiiiuoH. I WM. b. X'ARKLK. - - kicians who thought their own passions press of ** a PARKER, ami-interests a “ higher law” than the I f . i« . law of the country. ATTORNEY 3 at LAW, " lam young and pretty, with a form Again:—All his advisers—not I a 1 "* Ualu Street. In Marlon Mall, Car- Fair Venus ne'er could boast, - but ALL of them—expressed the 3 , I play and sing—have all tbo charms unhesitating opinion that i 155i — • That please tho men the most, law on the subject of fiI.ATM A widow they do say I am, right. His legs' ,IT£D STALES OL.aj.iu Butoh j how cnn it bQj o £ e ftmontr b AND . 'Wheu Miss Mngoozler Is my name, tlonth' - ’ ■ . . „ •*-, _ -,w, And lam loosd and free. ■iL ESTATE AGENCY I But how it was and how It Is, M B. BUTLER, Is plain for you to seo 1 * * T ’ lam divorced aud tha #v ATTOBNEY at LAW, • without pablln- CBoaitl oB . Baclt Pay. &c„ promptly • FIiANSSW OP ALL KISD3. !I °, ’ , • . Plain aud Fancy, Linen Table Diapers, Cotton, imn’" jcitlons by mall, will receive Immediate ao., Checks, Tickings, Ginghams, Counterpanes lo f»rntumtlou given to the selling or rent- EMBROIDERtE ,l lde‘^ebh^lose C postiige stomp. 6l " a full line: While Goods lu great van- - &-'« ' HOSIERY" GLOVES. ,p ' E. BEW/UOOVUK, and a full stock of iIXO RNE v r " CARLISLE Pa. Call''' office on South Hanover Street, opposite i'i jjy goods store. 1,1500. . n Attohney and loiisseueou at Daw; bus removed bis in Bis inllierto unoccupied room In the tail corner of the Court House. A,’(][)—lV KENNEDY, Attorney at Law Carlisle, Poulin. Ollice same us tbutol Curium volunteer," 1 latsl * ' - lIES H. GRAHAM, Jit., attorney at law, no. n SOTUU HANOVER ST., . Carlisle, i»a. I ICB-Adjolning Judge Graham’s. aJI, isio-tf L. jSHKYOCK, Justice, of the ‘woe. Ulllce No S, Irvin’s Row, Carlls.e. s, iMi'j-ly • . GEORUE IS. SEARJGHT, Den lit. Fruin Che JJalliinure Vulitye of Dental OiUceatthe residence of Ula mother jullier Street, three doors below Bedlord 1 Isto. J. S. BENDER, Homoeopathic uysielim, Oillee No. », South Hanover si,, ly occupied by John Loo. Esq. i, iMid—ljj* {«Y. HEED, Homeopathic Phy iD, has located OUlce next ■ibt, Paul's Lvangvflcul Church, West rSireet. Patients irom a distance please iiiefureiioou. a!7,1&7U— dm* iVARD fciHILL' nnllnrs per year it paid strictly h—Two Do""i nr s and Kilty Corns If paid S>«: T “T,t»'a™o" Wldoli Three Dollars ilbn»'“ on in‘!iB terms will bn rigidly ad .ttamtO- I" tjuu-e. No subscription dls wl,l''nuill arrearages are paid, unless at monitor. ING, M. D. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, .Vo. 20 East Fomjret Street, *' ' CARLISLE. Silling was associated with Dr. ZUzor. In iw, fur u yearor so, and has been practlc- Dickluson township, for three years. Ail joiml business promptly attended to. 17,1670—Jim- &ats anU «Kai)» ESH BUMMER ARRIVAL OF. ALL TJJE A Eir: STYLE# ATS AND CAPS. übucribor has Just opened at Xfo, 15 Nori?i r uieet, u few doors North of flip Carlisle liiuuk, one of the largest and best Stocks OARS over ollered lu Carlisle, late, Cusslioore of all styles and qualities, rims, dufereut colors, and every descnp xill Hats now made. Uuiikurd and Old Fashioned Brush,con uu baud and made to order, all warrant ee satlslaotlon. A fall ussoi tmcnt of MENU BOY’S, AND . ' CHILDREN’S. HATS. also added to my Stoca, notions of diffor ida, cuUstbdug of 3’ AND GENTLEMEN’S STOCKINGS, t), ' tiuspendrrs, Ulan, - (Jlovcs, Tenclls, Thread , • tewing Silk, Umbrellas, &o UE.SEGAJR3 AND TOBACCO . ALWAYS ON HAND. me a call, ami examine my fatoclc oa I feel uluiyiuasiug all, beauluß Having you mo* JOHN A. KKLLEII, Agent, No. Xo North iluuover bireet, lbC9. T 3 AND CAPS I |YOU WANT A NICE HAT OR CAT.? If 60. Don't Fail to Cali, on J. S. C A L L I O , XO. 29. WESI MAIN BTRUET, can be seem Clio liuest assortment of hats caps: tonghl to Carlisle. Ho Calces great plcas liivlilng his old friends and customers, luuw ones, Co his splendid 8 edible Just re from Mow York and Philadelphia> con !to imrt of line SILK AND CASSIMERE HATS. endless variety of Hata ami Caps of slylt, all ol which he will sell at the Clu/i prica. Also, his own manufacture j always on hand, and W* MANUFACTURED TO ORDER. 'a*the best arrangement for coloring Hata * Hauls of Woolen Oouds, Overcoats, &c., at uncst notice (us ho colors every week) and “ioai reasonable terms. Also, a tine lot. ol ufumls of • ■ tobacco and cigars l on hand. He desires to call thoatlentlon who have CO UN T R Y FURS as bo pays the highest cash prices for Uo >hlma call, at the above number, his «ld lie feels coutidcnt of giving entire aa-ls* Boots Sljoes. iOHM & SPONSLER, 0 '3. •n/mh Hanover Street, CARLISLE,, PA. /for!!* / or patronage extended thfyn o'arfiffi tholr uuutll '- lur * a BOOTS AND SHOES for MISSES’,' GENTS’ AN D BOYS’, ‘ YOUTHS’ AND CHILDS’, aro u &rlvaled for comfort and beauty lftu NKS AND VALIS3E3, UEN AND BOYS' HATS, will bo sold nt email profits. Call uu Rn <* 80t % fuU equivalents for your u .la 1370— 1 y BY BRATTON & KENNEDY. fttisccllaneous. QREAT COMMOTION DRY GOODS, On account or tbo reduction In Gold, tho Dry Goods Merchants who understand their business aud.tho certain signs of the times, huvo reduced thoSicooi their goods con espondingly. Thesub scrluers have just received from tho cities a largo and full assortment of all muds of FOREIGN & STAPLE GOODS, which they will sell lower than they have done since 1801. SILKS, Wool Do Lalnes, Alpacas, Poplins, Serges, Bom baziues, Tammo Cloth, Grenadines. FLANNELS OF ALL KINDS, Plata aucl Fancy, Linen Table Diapers, Cotton do., Checks, Tickings, Ginghams, Counterpanes EMBROIDEHIE a full line: White Goods in great variety, HOSIERY" GLOVES, TRIMMINGS and a full stock of DOMESTIC GOODS, Calicoes, Muslins, by the piece or yard; Grain bugs, CLOTHS, CA3SIAIER3, &c„ of all kinds and at the lowest prices.. CARPETS, OJL CLOTHS, ■ Druggets, Window Shades. Matting*' MILINERY GOODS of all kinds, Including Ladles and Childrens HuUs and Suadowus, undine beat assortment and beat quality of Hue itiubous m the comity.— Kid Gloves, (.best make,) Jewelry, Fancy Goods anil in great variety. Tina MAM MO I’ll STUCK OF GOODS tno largest In this section of country, isollered u. price® that defy competition, and all wo ask isu lair examination uy good.juugea oi goods to satlaiy the puuhc that Luis is tno place to buy uud save money. • LADIES’ UNDER WEAR, A nice assortment ol Ladles' Under Clothing very handsomely stitched uud trimmed at reasouaule prices. WuOJj taken in exchange for goods. BKN'IZ & CO. At the old Goods Stand established Feb ruary Ist, I&JU. * March J.—7o rpHE GREAT MEOXCAJj DISCOVE- X kyi DR. WALKER’S CALIFORNIA VINEGAR BITTERS, More than 500,000 Persons bear testimony to their Wonderful Curative Lllecls. WHAT ARE THEY? TAEY ARE NOT A VILE FANCY DRINK Made of Poor Rum, Whiskey, Proof spirits, tm l Refuse Liquors, doctored, spiced, mid sweetened to pleiise me taste, culled •‘Tonics,” ‘‘Appetiz ers,” “ Resioreis,” Ac., that lead the tlpplerou to drunkeuess and nun, but nre a true medicine, made from the native Routs and Herbs of Cali fornia free limn all Alcoholic htunuluuts. They are the GREAT BLOOD PURIFIER aud LIFE GIVING PRINCIPLE, a perfect Renovator and Invlgorutor of the System, carrying off all poi sonous mutter, and restoring, ihe blood to a healthy condition. No person can take these Bh ters according to Directions, ami remain long unwell. $lOO will he given for an incurable case, pro vided the hones nre not destroyed by mineral poisons or other means, and the vital organs be yond the point of repair. • For Inflammatory and Chronic Rheumatism, aud Gout, Dyspepsia,, or Indigestion. Bilious,- iCemlllont, and lutennltient Fevers, Diseases ol the Blood, Liver, Kidneys, and Bladder, these Bitters have been most successful. Such Diseas es are caused by Vitiated Blood, which Is gener ally produced by derangement oi the'Digestive Organs. Cleanse the Vitiated Blood whenever youllnd its impurities bursting through the skin in Pim ples, Eruptions or sores®eioiln-o it when you Hud it obsti acted aud v e>lugglsh in the veins cleanse it when itls foul, and your feelings will tell you when. Keep the blood pure and the hcaUh of the system wRI |<m the system of so many thousands, are .effectual ly destroyedu'nd removed. „ In Bilious, Remittent,and IntermlttentFoyere .these Bil-jers have no equal. For full directions read carelully the circu ar around each bottle, printed In lour languages—English, German, French and Spanish. v J. WALKER, Propneior, 32 Commerce St., N. Y. ' • R. H. MCDONALD Jc CO., Druggists, and general Agents. San Fruqolsco and oucramento. California, aud 32 and 31 Com merce st,, Now York. SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS & DEALERS. March 7. iS7O-3m » QAIIPETSi CAIU'ETBI'i FRYSIMR & WEINER, C A R P E T S T O RE. No. 23 East Main Steeel, CARLISLE, In the BENTZ HOTEL. Tho largest and cheapest assortment of CAKPETH, OIL CLOTHS, mattings, WINDOW SHADES, LOOKING GLASSES, MAT AND CABPEI CHAIN’S always on hand. We are prepar i to furnish purchasers with*all grades of Ca. pots,at tho lowest rates. PRVSINQEB * WEISER. March 17, IS7O-3m qarrtage building IN ALb IT3 BRANCHES, AND REPAIRING Done promptly and at reasonable rates. CARRIAGES, BUGGIES, AND SPRING. WAGONS, Always on band or mode to order. I will exchange CARRIAGES, BUGGIES, or SPRING WAGONS for Good HORSES. Second Hand Wagons of all Hinds Taken'in exchange for work. A. SENSEMAN, Still nt work, find - Invites fill bis old customers and the public in general to give him a call. Remember the old established place, on Pitt street, north of Ulo Railroad Depot, Carlisle. A FIRST GLASS livery la connection with the above establishment, H. K. PEFFER. May 12, 70-Jy T^GGS! EGGS!! EGGS!!! From light Brahma fowls, pea combed, strictly pure from Imported stock. S 3. 00 PER DOZEN. No order will bo booked unless accompanied by the cash. A few pairs for sale. 91.00 PER PAIR; A few Half-Breed Italian Bees for sale In movable comb hives—cheap. Ad dress C. U. HOFFER, P. O. Box 147, March 3,1870 Carlisle, Pa. The new article op food— For twonty.flvo corns you can buy of your Druggist or Grocer a package of Sea Moss Farlne manufactured from pure Irish Moss or Corro greon, which will make sixteen quarts of illau Mongo, and alike quantity of Puddings, Cus lard&;Ci’earns,‘ Charlotte Russo, Jttsby far the cheapest, healthiest and most delicious food In the world. RAND SEA MOSS FARINE CO., 63 Parle Place, N. Y. ?FEIL & CO. RODUCH COMMISSION MERCHANTS No. 10 North Water Street, Philadelphia, Bollclt eonslKiiments of nil kinds of PRODUCK Also. Honor. Kirtrs Poultry, *o, Ac. Philadelphia References— N. C. Mussulman, Fso.Pros’t Union Ranking Co., Philadelphia; Messrs. Alien'* Clifford, and Messrs, Henry g]nan A Pnn. N. n.-Plenso send for Weekly Price Current ree of charae. March ID, IMO—Cm facial DIVORCED. I am young and pretty, with a form Fair Venus ne’er could boast, I play and sing—have all tbo charms That please the men the most, A widow they do say I am, But oh I how can it bo, ■When Miss Mngoozlor Is my name, And I am loosb and free. But how it was and how It Is, Is plain for you to seo I am divorced and that’s the slyle Without publicity, . ’Tls easy done, and easy had, If you but have the feo. Imarried.through n?y ma’a advice, A gentlemen quite wealthy, ilo was the dearest, best old soul, Old, I Raid, but healthy, Ills chance of dying soon, you know, Not as roa and I predicted, «o lime grew dull and pleasure slow, And I was sore afflicted. One morning, offto ma I went, Determined not to stay In any house with such a man, IfX might have my way, 8o I told ray story; and she said, Uy case was sad ludccit; “ Cutuo.ver mind, all will bo well, A divorce, Is what you need.” So a lawyer I one day did seek, A plain ta.se I did stale, I told him how sad I was, An.l wished ,to separate, Xlo scratched his head, and then his car, *• A gaud case," ho replied, " But madam,confidentially, Mach better had ho died.”. Your papers shall bo filed this day . But an extra fee, he said Is all that’s needed In your case Without publicity.” I paid the fee and homo 1 wont, To wait the court’s decree, And think of mat.y joys to come, When I again was free. Next day, a note was In my hand, Its contents very brief, But information quite enough To give my mind relief, It stated a decree was had, Tis enough to make one weep; . On grouuu so grave and serious , That ho dreamed la hissleep, Chicago, April 1870. fiolrllai ■‘EDJTIN M. STANTON.” ■ wjEtPzr OJF 1 J XJ‘D Gr E BLACK SENATOR WILSON. The following is material'part of the article of Judge J. B. Black in the Galaxy for June 1* To the Honorable Henry Wilson , Senator from Massachusetts:' . > In the February number of the Auan~ tic Monthly % appeared an article of yours entitled '* Edwin M. Blanton.” It con tains some statements which are very ummlArfiil.. if .trim*. V'' I '. Jf ought to bocorrecled. X ask you to review Ibis production in the light of*ceitaiu facts, which 1 ahull now takethe liberty to mention. , My principal object is to satisfy you that you have wholly misunderstood the character of Mr. Stanton, and grossly in jured him hy wthat you supposed to be v a panegyric. Butbefore I begin that, suiter me to correct some of your errors about other persona. In your vituperative description of the Buchanan administration, you allege that “the President and his Attorney Gene ral surrendered tile GoverhnTbnc's right of sell-preservation;” and “pronounced against its power to co-rce a seceding, dale." You refer manifestly to the opin ion of the Attorney General, dated the 20th November, 1800, defining'the duties and powers of the President, and to the public acta of the Presid. ut which show that he took the advice of the Law De partment and squared his conduct accor dingly. Upon this ground mainly, if not entirely, you denounce that administra tion as not only weak and unpatriotic, hut wilfully wicked and treasonable. I propose to show that you havecommitted a cardinal error, if not something worse. The coarse way in which you charge the dead as well as the living with the high est crimes, would Justify a reply in lan guage inuuli plainer than I intend to use. Your modes of thinking and speaking on subjects of tills kind are so loose and inaccurate, that it is'neceasary to furnish you with an idea of certain elementary principle* which to most other men lire too familiar to talk about. 1. The igovernment of the United States is the Constitution.mid tows. 2. Thejpreserwaf/oii of the government consists in maintaining the supremacy of the Constitution and laws. 3. For this purpose certain coercive powers are delegated to the Executive, which he may use to defend the laws when they are resisted. 4. But in this country, as In every other, except where thegovernmeut isan absolute despotism, the authority of the Chief Magistrate is limited and his hands a e tied up by legal restrictions, to pre* vent him from using physical fore against the life, liberty and property of his fellow citizens, unless in certain pre* scribed ways and on proper occasions. 5. He is bound by his inaugural oath to keep within those limits; if he breaks the laws, he destroys the government; he cannot stab the Constitution in Hie back because he is afraid that somebody else will strikp it in the face. 0. Thegoveinmentof theUuitedStates, within Its proper sphere, is a sovereign , as much as the States are sovereign with in theirsphere. It acts immediately upon the people and claims their direct obe dience to its laws. As a State cannot make war upon a city, county, or town, and put all its inhabitants to the sword because some of them have acted or threatened to net illegally, so the Gen eral Government is also restrained from bxterminaling theavliole population ot a State for the otlenoßS, actual or Intended, of some who live among thorn. 7. The so-called ordinances of secession in ISOO-’Ol were the declarations of cer tain persons who made them that they intended to disobey tho laws of the U. States. It was the duly of Congress and the President to see that forcible resis tance to the laws, when actually made, should be met by a counter force sutn- Clent to put it down f'hut neither Congress W the President had authority to de clare war and begin hostilities, by anti cipation, against all the people at once, and put them all in the altitude of public enemies, without regard- to their personal guilt or Innocence. , , Apart from the rellglous’obllgation of bismuth, ho loved the Constitution of his country on his own account, us themest "government the world ever saw. 1 do not expect you to sympathize with this leeliiig; your alleetious are otherwise engaged. But can you not make some allowance for his attachment to that grout compact which was framed by our fore fathers to secure union, justice, peace, Stale independence and individual liberty for ourselves and our posterity ? Another thing:—All his predecessors Governed thelrconduct by similar notions of fidelity to the Constitution. . In peace anil in war, in prosperity and disaster, through all changes, in spiteof all threats an<l provocations, they had kept their oaths and assumed no ungranted power. It was the most natural thing in the world loi Mr* Buchanan to follow the CARLISLE. PA., THURSDAY. JUNE 9, 1870. example of such men as Washington, MadisOn and Jackson, rather than the precepts of those small but ferocious pol iticians who thought their own passions and-interests a ‘'higher law” than the law of the country. Again All his advisers—not I alone, but all of them—expressed the clear and unhesitating opinion that his view of the law on the subject of coercing States,was right. His legal duty being settled, not one among them ever breathed a sugges tion that he ought to violate it. Besides: There was a question of nat ural. justice, as well as legal propriety, involved in making war upon the States at that time. Nine-tenths of the Southern people were thoroughly devoted to the Union, and had committed no sin against it even in thought. Would it have been well to bring the visitation of fire, sword, and famine-upon whole communities .of innocent persons?. You will probably answer this in theafllrmative. You think that no opportunity to shed the blood and plunder the property of men,.women, and children who live beyond the Poto mac ought ever to be lost, Mr. Buchanan might have seized that occasion to imi tate John Brown on a large scale, and thus made hlmselfau “heroic character" in your eyes. But you must be aware that he would have been regarded by the mass of men as a moral monster; and admiration of yourself and your party in Mass'mhuetts would have been but a poor compensation for the eternal weight of infamy with .which the rest of the world would have loaded his, ’Further still You know that the Gen eral in Chief of the army had reported five, companies ns the whole available force for operations In the South, and you never proposed to increase it. Yet j ; ou wanted'war. Why? You must have desired, the Union cause to be disgraced and defeated, for nothing else could have resulted from such a war. as yon now abuse Mr. Buchanan . for not making. You and your party in- Congress were strictly‘non-committal. You did not re commend pence, nor offer your support to war. You would take neltherlhe olive branch nor the sword. Yoii refused to settle, and you made nopreparaticn fora contest. But you reveal now what was then the secret desire of your heart —that the administration, in defiance of law, and without means, would declare war on its own responMibillty. This would hove been an expulsion of the Southern States from the Union, for it would have placed all their people beyond the pro tection of Federal law; they would ne cessarily rise In self defence; our little army of five hundred men would perish in a fortnight; before the 4lh of March I the independence of ,the South would be | a settled fact. I come now to the.more important part of your article, which, directly concerns Mr. Stanton; Your attacks upon Bu chanan; Toucey, ami Thompson might be safely passed in silence, but the char acter of'Stanton must utterly perish if it be not defended against your praise. You give us the flrstMnformation we ever had that Mr. Stanton, though acting with the Democratic party, was an abo litionist at'heart almost from bis earliest youth. For this fact you vouch his dec laration to Judge Chase, more than thirty years ago, at Columbus, Ohio; and you attempt to corroborate it by citing his association at Washington with Doctor Bailey and other abolitionists, If you tell the truth, he was the most marvel lous imposter that e\er lived or died. Among us, his political principles were thought to be ns well known as his name and occupation. He never allowed his fidelity to be doubted for one moment. It was perfectly understood that he had ,jw .flimuco "imicvet will, mtru of JOUF sctioOl In morals or polltlvß. rkiow.mcur nation of the abolitionists was unsparing for their hypocrisy, th6l r corruption, their enmity to the Constitution, and their lawless.disregard for the rights of States and individuals. Thus lie won the con fidence of Democrats, On the Jaith of such professions wo promoted him In his business, and gave him offl.ee, honor and fortune. But, according to your account, hewas all the while waiting and hoping for the time to come when ho could be tray tho t onstitution and its.frlenda into the cruel dutches of their enemies. For this cold-blooded and deliberate treachery you bespeak the admiration of the Ame rican peop'e. Yon mightns well propose to canonize'Judas Iscariot. I maintain, on the other hand, ihuthe was what he seemed to be, a sound and sinceie friend, political and personal, of the men who showered their favors on his head. He had at least the average amount of attachment for “the Constitu tion of the United states, and for the peace, good order, and happiness of the siune." As a 'necessary consequence, he dreaded’ the dishonest and destructive rule which ho foresaw that you would he sure to establish ns soon ns you could. His democracy did not cease when the war opened. In the summer of 1801, when yolir anti-constitutional principles began to he practically carried out by the kidnapping of innocent citizens by the suppression of free speed), and by the enslavement of the press, he imprecated the vengeance of God and the law upon the guilty authors of those crimes wMi as much energy as any Democrat in the nation. Only n short time hefoie his ap pointment as Secretary of War his Jove of liberty and legal justice impelled him to curse Mr. Lincoln himself with bitter curses. He called him by contemptuous names, ami with simian, if'not with “swinish phrase sailed his addition.” I admit that lie changed these sentiments afterwards, but I deny that he had adopt ed your way of thinking while lie pre tended to concur in ours. His conversion was a real one, produced by what he re garded as “good and sufficient reasons him thereunto moving,” and it was ac companied, or immediately followed by a corresponding change of his party at titude. Ho was not what you make him out, a mere fawning hypocrite. What cirgoes of defamatory falsehood he must have consigned to your keeping! You do not break the foul bulk, but you give us samples which • deserve some examination. He denounced Mr. Tmicey, as false to his country, inspired Daw* s’ resolution against him, and ex pressed the belief tha» lie ought to be ar rested. Let us look at this a moment. To Mr. Toucey’a face Mr. Stanton breathed no syllable of censure upon his official conduct as head of the Navy De partment, To the President or Cabinet lie expressed no doubt of his wisdom, much leas of his honesty. He met him every day with a face of smiling friend ship. T«»ucev cerlnlniy had not the re motest idea that Stanton was defaming him behind his back, or conspiring with 'abolitionists to destroy his reputation.— Ho would as soon have suspected him ot an intent to poison his food or stab him In his sleep. Can it bo possible that Stanton was the author of the Dawes resolution ? , , That resolution is found in the Con gressional Globe,” Second Session, Thir ty-sixth Congress, 1860 01, part second, pp. 1423 24. The proceeding was begun, no doubt, in the hope of finding some thing on which the charge could be founded of scattering the navy to prevent it from being used against the South.— But that failed miserably ; and the com mittee reported nothing worse than “a grave error” of the Secretary In accept ing without delay or Inquiryrhe reslgna tlon.of certain naval-officers. Even this Inuf no foundation In law or fact. Its truth was denied and the evidence called for; none was produced. The right to explain and defend was demanded, but the gag of the previous question was ap plied before a word could bo said. The accusers knew very well that it would not bear the slightest invealigutlon. Mr. Sickles said truly (amid cries of “order”) that “censure without evidence disgraces only those who pronounce Mr. Toucey's reputation wns never injuri ously affected hy it in the estimation of any fair-minded man. But you fish it up from the oblivion to which it bus been consigned, and try to give it decency and dignity by saying that Btantou Inspired it. You do not appear to perceive the hideous depth to which yrur assertion, if true, would drag him down. It is not true; the whole business boars the im press of a different mind. I take it upon me to deny most em pbaticnlly that Mr. Stanton ever “wrote a full and detailed account of that Cabi net scene” by which you can have the least hope of being corroborated. I can not proven negative; but! can show that your assertion is incredible. That he should have coolly indited a letter, even though heuever sent it, filled with foolish brags of his own prowess, which half a dozen men then living could prove to be false,.was consistent neither with his prudence, veracity or taste. Besides, he often spoke with mo about the events of that period, and never in ray hearing did he manifest the slightest disposition (o misunderstand or misrepresent them. On the contrary, when a statement re sembling yours about the Cabinet scene was published in a London paper, I sug gested y that be ought to contradict it; and .he’replied, explaining how and by whom it had been fabricated, but said it was not worth a contradiction, for every man of intelligence would know, il to bo a mere Ussueof lies. -You cannot destroy Stanton's character for sense and decen cy by citing his own authority against himself. Nor can you find any other proof to sustain the story. It ia the weak invention of some scurvy politician, who souchtto win the patronage of one ad ministration by .maligning another. Rome busy and insinuating rouge, Some causing, cozening slave to get some office, Hath devised this Blunder. . The odious character you havegivon Mr. Stanton is not merely unjust’in it self, but, if uncontradicted, it must lead to other misconceptions of him, Besides theolfences against law, justice, humani ty, oud truth which you have enumerat ed and assigned to him for his glorifica tion, he has been c harged with others 'which, if established, must expose him to universal execration. For instance, it Is asserted that, in the winter of 1801, when he was a member of the Cabinet, he gave to Governor Brown, of Mississ ippi, the most emphatic assurance of his conviction that secession was right, and urged him to “go on” frith it; that in 1802, while he was writing the moat af fectionate letters to General McClellan, he not only maligned him at Washing top, but maliciously plotted bis defeat and tho destruction of his arniy before Richmond; that he refused lu 1804 to re ceive the Anderaonville prisoners when offered freely without ransom, exchange, or other equivalent, though he knew that if left there they must perish mis erably for,want of the medicine and food which their captors had not the means to give them. These accusations you are aware, have often been made, with hor rible which I need not re peat. Hia friends have denied and dis-, credited them mainly on the ground that his character was wholly above such im putations. But yon have done your full best to make this defence worthless. If he wore tho cloak pf congtitutioual De mocracy with us, and put oh the.livery of abolitionism with .you, wliyyshould he not assume the garb of a secessionist with men of the South? If berried to get his friend. Toucey kidnapped, what moral principle could hinder h/m from contriving the ruin of his friend McClell an? If bo craftly exerted /himself at your end of the avenue to/ bring on a bloody civil war, which according to his own declarations at our end was unlaw ful and causeless, what crime against human life was he not capable of com mitting? If he willfully left our prison ners to certain starvation, and then managed falsely to throw the odium of iwo-ftlity* in "power, mid thus contributed very largely to the enslavement of the Soutbern*States was not that an act of "Intense and abounding patriotism,” as well worthy of your praise as some others for which you have bestowed it? Those who give credit to you will find it per fectly logical to believe the worst that has ever been said of him. When ineu like these are found to have committed a fault, it is well that history, should deal with it tenderly, And, sad ns angels for tho good man's sin, ■\Veop to icoord and blush id give It In. But the loyalty that tramples on law-r the fidelity which stabs the liberties it ought to protect—the public zeal which expends itself in gratifying the vindic tive or mersonary passions of one psrty by the unjust oppression of another this kind of patriotism has loss claim to the admiration of the world. It is a cheap thing, readily supplied to any fac tion unprincipled enough to pay for it.— It Is entirely too “intense and abounding,” and its intensity, and abundance are .al ways greatest in the wor.-t times. It does not sanctify evil deeds. If it be not a sin in ilself, it certainly desefvea to be ranked among what Dr. .ohuson calls “the rascally virtues.” Mr. Stanton’s reputation Is just now in a critical condition. He took no care of it while ho* lived, and he died, like Ba con, leaving a vulnerable name “to men’s charitable speeches.” He needs a more discriminating eulogist thau you, and a fur better defence than I am ablo to make. I have not attempted to poilray his good qualities; I intended only to protest against vour shamless parade of vices to which lie was not addicted, and crimes which'he never committed; and this I have done, not only because it is just to him but necessary for the vindica tion of others. J. 8. Black. Anecdote of Rothschild.—Baron Jamesdeßothschild. visiting Ary Schef fer’s studio, found the eminent artist in a towering rage, A model, a Jew beggar, had failed to keep his appointment, and the grtist, who felt in the best mood for painting, was, of necessity, idle. The Baron gnyly exclaimed : “Let me supply my absent brother’s place.” Schetler habited him in picturesque rags, and the wealthy Dives looked every inch Laza rus. While ho was posing, a poor friend of the artist entered, and believing that a veritable beggar was before him, went up to him and slipped a louia into his hand. The pretended model took the coin and put it into his pocket. Ten years later, the friend received an order on the oflico in the Rue Lafitte for 10,000 francs, in closed in the following letter: '’Hit*—You one day gave a louis to Baron Rothschild in the studio of Ary Scheffer. He has employed it, and to-day sends you the little capital with which you entrusted him together with its interest. A good action always brings good fortune. Ba bon James de Rothschild.*. On re ceipt of the order he sought the billion aii*e who proved from tiio books before him’that under his management the louis piece had actually fructified so as to have swelled to the large sum aeut. A humorous young man was driving a horse, which was in the habit of stopp ing at over*' house on tbo road aide.— Passing a country tavern where were collected together some dozen country men then be stopped, in apite of the voung man who applied bia whip with all bis might to drive the' vicious horse on the men on the porch commenced a hearty laugh ; and some inquired if he would sell that horse. IL 4T ‘ Yea,’ said the young man, ‘ but I can not recommend him, ho once belonged V-ft-fcntuh'eiV'and fctops whenever he hears any calves bleat.’ The crowd retired to the bar-room in silence. ' A .waggish journalist, who Is often merry over his personal plainness tells thlfratory on himself. I went to a chem ist the other day for some morphine for a sick friend. The asistant objected, to •living It to mo without a prescription, evidently feoring that I intended focom mlt suicide. * Pshaw !’ said I, ‘do I look a man who would kill himself? Gazing steadily at mo a moment he re piled, ‘I don’t know. It seems to me if I looked like you, I should be greatly tempted fa WU myself.’ piqffanitmo. LINGUISTIC SINNERS. CommOn Crimes of Conversation. [From the Old and Now for February.] There are the careless people, those ‘who know the right, and yet the wrong pursue.’ They plunge recklessly on without a thought for the words they Use, their sentences abound, with excla mations and expletives more expressive than choice. Their slang phrases are an offense to cultivated ears; and they ex haust the superlatives of the language on the most ordinary occasions. It Is they who preface every sentence, even on tri vial topics, with ‘My Stars V ‘By George!' ‘By Jupiter!' ‘Gracious!* -Good Lord!’ ‘Thunder!' ‘You bet!’ ‘No you don’t!’ In their vocabulary, ‘Oh?’ ‘lndeed,yes I’ ‘Well!’ ‘And ah!’ areas thickly strewn as leaves in Valambrossa. With them a funeral is ‘jolly,’ a praver-meeting ‘fun ny,’ an ordinary performance Is ‘first rate,’ the lowest round on the ladder of beauty Is .‘real pretty,’ and their indis criminate admiration is expressed by the much abused ephltets, ‘splendid, mag nificent, superb, exquisite,’ Ac, Any violation of law belonging to their code is shameful,’ a refusal to their wishes is ‘horrid mean’; a common cold is ‘terri ble,’ and headache is ‘beyond endurance.’ They are always -‘roasted,’ or ‘frozen’ or' ‘melted’; their friends are beautified with every virtue; and their enemies arc the offsprings of the race. They so •completely eshuustthe language on com mon occasions that no words are left to give expression to their deepeV feelings. A second class Includes those who vio late the laws of etymology. They have been thoroughly trained in the grammar of tlie language, and yet refuse to he regulated by its precepts. Tills class is a large one, and includes among its au dacious sinners. First. Those who use the objective case for the nominative; as ‘lt is me/ *Xt is.!/ ‘lt Is her/ for ‘lt is she/ ‘lt is us, r for ‘lt Is we.’ Second. Those \vho use the nomina tive case for the objective; as, ‘Between you and 1/ ‘Like you ami J’. for '.Like you and me / and ‘I kuow who you mean-’ rep* ‘I know’.whom you menu/ Third. Those whose subjects and verbs do hot-agree in number and per-, son ; ‘Says I/-for ‘Say. 1/ ‘You was’ for ‘You, were’‘My feet’s cold/for ‘My feet are cold ; ‘There’s thirty/ for ‘There are thirty/ Fourth. Those who use the Indicative mood, for ‘the subjunctive; ns, ‘lf I was you’ for 'lf I were you/ Fifth. Those who use the present tense, for the past; as, *1 see you yester day’ for ‘ I saw you yesterday.’ Sixth. Those who use the intransi tive verb for Die transitive; as,‘lf he is a mind to/ for ‘lf he has a mind to.’ Seventh. Those who use incorrectly the much abused verbs ait and lie ; ns, *1 am going to lay down’ M lay down this morning’*! shall set there’ for ‘I shall sit there.’ Eighth. ■ Those who use tho adverb for the adjective ; as, ‘She looks beautifully/ for ‘She looks beautiful;’ or Its opposite ‘She graceful/ for she, walks gracefully. Ninth. Those who use a plural adjec tive with a singular noun ; as, ‘Those kind’ for That kind; ‘Six pair’ for‘Six pairs/ Tenth. Those who use the compound relative for the conjunction ; as, *1 do not know but I will/ lor ‘I do not know but that I will/ Eleventh. Thnoa wii« "*>« ive case alter the conjunction ‘than’ ; us ‘He knows more than mo/ for ‘He knows more than 1/ Twelfth. Those who use double nega tives; as, ‘No you don’t neither/ for ‘No you don’t either/ Thirteenth. Those who use, the wrong preposition ; as, ‘Different to’ for‘Differ ent from/ ‘ln regard of/ for ‘with re gard to/ Fourteenth, Those who use the su perlative degree for the comparative; as, ‘The oldest of the two/ for ‘The elder of tho two/ A Chapter on Chinese Walls. Bishop Kingsley, in the Central Advo • cate , Urns discourses on the city walla of the Chinese: • “All tlie cities of China are surrounded by high, strong walls, whose massive proportions a stranger,has no adequate idea of uni 11 he sees them. The walls surrounding the city of Pekin are from twenty-two to twenty-five miles in lomrth, and, on an average, fifty feet high; Tills wall is sixty-six foot thick, at l ho bottom, and fifty-tour at the top, and once in a few yards there are immense buttresses to give it still greater strength* At every fifth buttress the wall, for the space of one hundred and twenty-six feet in length, is two hundred and fifty-six feet in thickness. In seyeralpluces the foun dation of this wall Is of marble, and when the ground is uneven, immense quan tities of cement, as durable, nearly, as granite, and about as hard, have been used to level up the ground. The main body of this wall is made of bricks, eacli twenty inches lorn-, ten inches wide, and five inches thick. Those bricks are burn ed very haid, and have precisely the ap pearance of atone. “On the side of this waJU, as well as on others, in other cities, there are esplan ades, or stairways, with gates to them for ascending them. And over ail the gateways there are immense towers, as large as great churches, and much higher, constructed ot these great burnt bricks. On the top of this immense wall there is a railing, both on the outside and inside coming up to a man’s waist, which rail ing itself is a wail, thus giving a sense of security to a person walking on the.top. The outside railing is made into turrets, for the use of cannon, in case of attack. The entire top of the wall la covered with strong burned brick, twenty inches square, resembling the flagging of our sidewalks in large cities,— only, as I have said, these walks are fifty-four feet wide. There is noway of getting Intothe city, only 4o go through this immense wall.— And wherever there is a gate for the pur pose of getting through* there is another wall built, inclosing a square space, com pelling all persons who go into the city to go through two walla, by passages at right angles to each other. X’he wails aro so immensely thick, that these pas sages through them, arched over with cut stone, remind one exactly of our railroad tunnels in the United Stales. At each of these great archways there is an enormous gate made of strong limbers, everywhere us much ns ten inches thick, and covered on both sides with plates of iron, like the sides of our war ships. These gates are shut early in the even ing, generally before sundown, and not allowed to be opened during the night for any purpose. They are fastened on the inside by means of strong beams of strong beams of timber. * ‘ I have been somewhat particular in describing this wall, because the general construction of all walls In China are similar to this one, although they are not all so high nor so thick. But there are probably a thousand walled cities In Chinn, whose walls will average tweyty fivo feet high and twenty feet thick, and another thousand whoso wells may do Vbme'whair less. Then there bribe grGSt Tartar Wall, a little North ol Perkin, one thousand five hundred miles long, and older Ilian the Christian ora, thicker ami higher than my of the rest. There are said to be one thousand five hundred pre fectural cities in China. All those aro surrounded by walla built by the Govern ment, beajdes the groat,number of cities whoso walls aro made at the expense of the city government nluno. And when we have spoken of the walls surround ing the cities, we have hy no means nmio with the subject. For example—in J er kin, Inside the enclosing wall, there is another of miles in extent, surrounding what la culled the Imperial City. 1 hen, again, Inside of this is another Immense VOL 56.-NO. 52, wall, surrounding what is called tlio Prohibited City. .Within this inner in closuro is the residence of the Emperor, and all the oilier buildings connected with royalty. . And so the Altar and Temple of Heaven are surrounded by two concentric walls, of groat extent and magnitude, which must bo passed by moans of immense gates. Then there is. the great wall, covered with dry thorn bush, surrounding what is called the Place of Punishment, where criminals are beheaded, and their heads exposed in cages for a terror lo evil doers, and where other criminals are crucified, and yet others starved, and the most piteous meanings and insane ravings for food. Again, the Hall of Literary 'Examina tion, whore forty thousand men compete for literary degress, ami where the long est purse is more successful than the hardest study, is surrounded by another wall and entered by gates. Then all places of idolatrous worship, and they are legion in these great cities, are sur rounded by high walla. The old city of Njjnkin, on the south bank of the Yang tze Kiang, is surrounded by a wall eighteen miles long. The city of Tieri sing, in the northern portion of China; bus a wall fifteen or sixteen miles in lei gth. The city of Foochow, with one side ex nosed to the river Alin, is sur rounded by nhigh wall. Wherever stouo can be bad, it is used for these structures.' The city of Ranchack, also on the south side of tlio Yangtze, is surrounded by a wall, running over the top of the moun tain a thousand fOet high. I also saw, while ascending the Yangtze,a monstrous wall suVi’ounding.an area on the top .of a • mo'UTrtain, where the Chinese of that re gion took their’wives and children for safely during the terrible, rebellion that ’ swept over a great part of Chinn a few years ago. “ Then, in thousands and tens of thou sands of instances, in China, a high wall is built right before the door of a private • dwelling, to ward off spirits of ancestors, who are supposed to be blind, and oblig ed to move in straight lines, and who will, consequently, stumble against the wall when they come to it, ami give up the pursuit. “ After giving a good deal of attention to the'subject, I am salislied that the whole amount of wall in China, if put to gether, would build one twenty feet high and ten. feet thick, entirely rouud the globe, and would require live thousand men to work steadily for two thousand years to accomplish the work.” ANQU.VG FOR A DOG. We wcr.e travelling on ground wo bad no right on. The only excuse was that of a military necessity—it was better Ash ing, through the farms, where the trout had been preserved than in open lots where all could fish. It was early in the morning. We had risen at tnree, ridden ten miles, and struck the creek as the trout \yere ready for breakfast. Looking carefully for a sheltered place to hitch oi*r horses, we slvly crept along behind fences, etc., till we reached the parfof the stream not generally fished: A farm house stood a quarter‘of a mile away. We saw tho morning smoke curling lightly ftom a stovepipe; saw a man and two boys come out to do chores; saw a woman about the door, and a ferocious bull dog wandering about the yard. Ifeverwe fished cloaeitwas thou. Not a whisper to disturb the birdsor the own ers of the land. Wo crawled through the grass and dodged behind cumps of ald ers, lifting large speckled beauties out of the water until our baskets wore full* Thia, u-na the time to have'gone; but the trout were so largo ami bit so* readily that wocouldjjot withstand me unuimi tioii; so wo decided to string what we had, and fake another basketful.: So at it wo went. No sooner would'tho hook loucji the water than we had a trout. Wo forgot the house, the man, the boys and the dog. Suddenly there was a rushing through an oat Held, as if a mad bull was coming! We locked toward the house and saw the.fanner and his two sons standing on a fence, tho, women in the door, and the dog bounding towards ns. We saw It all—we had been discovered ! The well trained dog had-been sent to hunt us out, and as the master appeared, it was safe to bet that lie was doing that thing right lively. To outrun a dog was not to bo thought of. There was no time to lose. He cleared a fence and came for us just as we had reached a tree, and by groat nctivity took a front seat on a limb above his reach. Hero was a precious go I A vicious bull dog under the tree, and a farmer and two big boys ready to move down upon our works. It was tight, foot race, or fangs. The farmer yelled to his dog; ’‘Watch him, Tigo!” Tige proposed to do that little thing, and Keeping his eyes upon us, seated him self under the tree. Then spoke this ugly funner man, “Just hold on thnr, stranger, till we get breakfast; then we will come and see you! If you are In a hurry, however, you can go now. Watch him, Tige We surmised trouble ! Quito too much, for thrice had that bold man of bull dogs and agriculture elegantly wallonped In nocent tourists for being seen on his suburban premises. # His reputation ns a peace man was not good, am! there arose a large heart towards our throat. Time is the essence of contracts, ami the saving ordinance of those in trouble. Wo had a stout line in our pocket, and a large hook intended for a rock bass, if we failed to lake trout. And as good luck would have it, we had got a nice sand wich ami a piece of boiled corned beef in our pocket. We called the dog pet names, but he wasn’t on it! At last wo trebled ourbass line anti fastened the great limerick to it, baited it with corn beef, tied the end <-f the line to a limb, and angled for a dog ! Tige was in appetite. Ho smelt the beef; it.was very nice. Hoswallowed it, and sat with his eyes on ns for more ; but with no friendly look-beaming from his countenance; Not any ! Then bo pulled gently on the lino —It was bust! Tige yanked and pulled, but 'bwas of no use. We qulckly'alld down the tree—almost blistering our back doing it—seized our pole, and straightway went thence some what Uyely. •Wo found our string of fish, and reach ed the buggy and commanding spot in the road, in time to see the sturdy yen . man move forth. Wo saw him anil ills cohorts, male and female, move slowly, as if in no haste. We saw them lonic up tho tree. We saw an anxious crowd engaged about the dog. We came quickly homo and kindly left the bass line and hook to the fanner. Said one student to another, whom ho caught swinging a scythe most lustily in a Held of stout grass : —“l* rank, what makes you work for a living ? A fellow with your lullenls and abilities should not bo caught engaged in hard Jabor. I mean to get my living by my wits.” “Well, Bill, you can work with duller tools than I can.” was the reply. “La mo,” said Mrs. Partington, “hero-i I have been suffering tho bigamies death for three mortal weeks. I was seized with a bleeding preuol gy In tbe left hampshir of the bruin, which was exceeded by a stoppage of the ventilator of the heart. ' This gave mo an inhuma tion of the borax, and now 1 am sick with tho cholorform morbus. Theie’a no blessing like that of health, especial ly when you are sick. ♦ “Is Mas. Bnowx im ?•* inquired a gentleman of a servant who responded to a ring at llio door boll. “No sir ; alio a not at homo.” “Well, I’m sorry," Bald the gentleman, in .a' regretful bine, “ub I owe Homo money, and called to nay it.” Whereupon a voice from over tbe balustrade 1b beard, “Ob! I am in; to besurhlam? Wbe, iSally, dldeu’l you know that ? Ask tho gentleman to walk lu,” , Hates, for SUtoedistofi. auvkutiskmf.nth wpi bo inserted at Ten Cent per itno lor the first insertion, and flyo cans per lino for each subsequent insertion, Quid* orly half-yearly, and yearly advertisements In*, sorted atallberal redaction on the above rates Advertisements should be accompanied by the Cash. When sent without any length of tlm specified for publication, they will be continued until ordered out and onarged accordingly, i i * JOB PRINTING. CAHD3, haudbllls, OractmAna, and every oth cr description of Job and Cabo Printing. (scms ot Efteraturc. BART’S RIGHTS. p Her platform Is only the cradle— Her speeches are flmny and few— A wise little head. But-all that is said Is only a vague little *!goo 1” But how baby’s rights are respected! One nod of her dear, downy head. 0 Whenever she thinks'sh&’s neglected, And down to her feet wo are led. She lifts her voice in a minute— i • cr protests ftro loud and are long! Knch household affair—she Is In It, To see there Is nothing goes wrong. Tlio right to twist limbs that are dimpled lu every extravagant way: To maut ami tease The cat at her cose—. To c r oW and to creep all the day. The right to love that Is purest— The right to a mother’s own love t The righ t to a guide that Is surest, To lead her woo footsteps above; Her sweet little month she'upfnlses, As pure as n rose, dew Impearolcd 1 The right to our kisses and praises— O! these are her rights, nil over tho world! —lAttlc Corporal. A loaxsome place—A pawnbroker’s oflico. ■ Quit National game—The American Eagle. Mbn who know a good ''deal* —Card players. A writ of attachment —A marriage certificate. • ' Anything out a Fiction-In-Law—A .Mother-In-Law I To be aeon for nothing—the play of the features. Transported for life—The man who marries happily. The beat drawing lesson—drawing a salary. What is taken from you before you get it?—Your photograph. In the country they blow a bom be* fore dinner; in town they take one. Our devil says tiiat one cannot believe the kiss of a pretty girl is so delicious till he has it from her own lips. The* fellow who slept under ‘the cov* er of the night’ complains that he came verV near freezing. The lash that man does not object to . have laid bn hls-shoulders—The eye-laah of a pretty girl, ■- When a man’s countenance lights up, it is supposed, to be because ho has lan* torn jaws. A wane by which many a poor fellow has been carried away—The wave-.of a lace-edged cambric handkerchief* Mark Twain says Vanderbilt is 104 years old, and yot never drank anything stronger than kerosene in his life. • A country paper says sugar has gone up so high us to produce a slight increase in the price of sand. , , ~ Fashionable young ladies,like letters, require stamps, or tho males reject them. ‘You look ns though you .were»be* side yourself,’ as the' wag said to a fop who happened to he standing by a donkey. The last case of jealousy is that of a luilj who ilioo«\r<loJ liar JnVflr, fl Afifl CAP* lain, because be hugged the shore, A man in Manchester has got so deep into debt that not one of his creditors lias been able to see him for months. At u public house tho landlord has painted up outside his door: ‘Good beer sold here ; but don’t take my word for It.’ ‘A penny for your thoughts,’ said a lover to his abstracted sweetheart. ‘They are not worth it,’ she replied; ‘I was thinking of you.’ A pawnbroker having joined a tem perance society, it was remarked that there need be no fear of his not keeping the pledge. A lodging house keeper furnish gentlemen with pleasant and comfortable rooms, also one or two gen tlemen with wives.’ Punch's ‘he smole a ghastly smile’ and ‘many a wink he wunk’ have been imitated by a minstrel wit, who said, ‘You sneezed a snooze and said I snoze it.’ ‘l’i.h commit you ; you’re a nuisance!’ said Mr. Justice to a noisy fellow in court. . ‘You can’t sir; you say I’m a nuisance, ami nobody has a right to com mit u nuisance—so I defy you !’ ‘Tins is capital alo,’ said an old toper: ‘see how long it keeps its head !’ ‘Ay,' said a bystander; ‘but consider howsoon it takes away yours.' Sincb by the decision in Ohio the school teachers have a right to flog their pupils, the whole State is looked upon, by school-boys as the unhappy laud of Cunin.' Reporters are often 'unconciously satirical. A morning paper saya in an obituary : 'Mr. was an estimable citi zen. He lived uprightly. He died with perfect resignation. He had recently been married.’ ‘Sure, an didn't I jine the Methodists?. Falx, and I did. I jined for six months; an behaved so well they let me ofl with three.’. An urchin being rebuked for wearing out his stockings at the toes, replied that jt couldn’t bo helped—‘toes wiggled and heels didn’t.’ 'G. is so very close,Mt was observed, ‘ho will squabble about aslugle farthing.’ ‘Well,’ remarked W., ‘I have always thought that the less one suabbles about the better. A kise year old boy at the school in Lincoln, California, was asked what pun- Ishment was given to Adam and Eve? Uo replied ; ‘They were driven oil the ranohe.' ‘Mcminn,’ -said Ike Partington, ‘did yon know that tho ‘iron horse’ had but one car?’ ’One ear! merciful gracious, child, what do you mean ?’ ‘Why, the engineer, of course.’ A yeu.va man haviug devoted him self (,o Ihespeeialontertalnmentiof acorn pany of pretty girls for,a whole evenlug, demanded payment in kisses, when one of them instantly replied, ‘Certainly, sir; present your bill.’ Josh Bii.linos says: ‘When a young man ain’t good for anything else, I like tew see him carry a gold-headed cane.— It he can't buy a cane, let him part Ms hair In tho middle I’ The man in jail who looked out of the window of biscoll and exclaimed. ’This Is a grate country I’ la now generally ad mitted to have spoken within bounds. A ministku in Sulora took for his text •The flesh, tbe world, and tho devil,’ and informed his astonished audience that ho should ‘dwell brlelly in the flesh, pass rapidly over tho world, and hasten as fast as she could to tho devil.’ A stol'KiUbokeb, whose mind was always full of quotations was asked a few davs ago how bis father was. ‘Well,’ said he. Tie is quoted atelghty, but there is every prospect ho will teach • par and possibly be at a pi-emlum. A kat lady despairingly says: ’I am so fat that I pray for a disappointment to make me thin. No sooner does tbe dis appointment come than the more oxpoc -1 tutlon of growing thinner gives me such oy that I become fatter than ever, _Be f
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers