I ®I)C American Volunteer-. |c I'UUMHIIED EVERY THURSDAY HORNING li 'BY |'| IIBATTON & ICIONNUBY. | Ul FIt'E—SOUTH IURKET .SQUARE. $ • ■ W TEHMB:-Two Dollars per year If paid Btrlolly Si n advance; Two Dollars rind Fifty Cents If paid wllliln throemonths; after which Three Dollars Jill ho charged. These terms will bo rigidly ad jured to In every Instance. No subscription dis ‘imtluuod until all arrearages are paid, unless at I 1 inception of the Editor. El professional fflarirs "c. V. HUMBIOH. I WM. B. I'AHKE jJ-UMRICH & PARKER, . ATTORNEYS AT LAW. Oflloo on Main Street, In Marion Hull, car :iS'xioi<,2l. ISOS- • ’ • jJNITBD STATES CLAIM AND REAL JESTA TE A GEiVCY! M. B. BUTLER, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Ofllco In 2d Story of InhofTs Building, No. 3 South' Hanover Street,. Carlisle, Cumberland county peiiua. Pensions, Bounties, Buck Pay, «tc., promptly -ollecied. • Applications by mull, will receive Immediate attention. i particular attention given to the selling or rent ing ofltcalEstate, In town or country, innlllet ers of Innnlry, please enclose postage stamp. July 11. 1807— tf 'OVER, E. ISEETZII< ' ATTORNEY-AT-L A JV. CARLISLE, Pa. . £s»onice on South Hunover Street, opposite Heutz’a dry goods store. Ucc. I,IKW. fTTTM. J. feHEARER, Attorney a*nd W Counsellor at Law, lias removed his mice to the hitherto unoccupied room In the Wth East corner of the Court House. Jan. 28, ’oo—lv I\TT KENNEDY, Attorney at Law (VV-, Carlisle. Ponim. OlllcoKamo ns Umtof ho “Amorlcnu Volunteer.” Ucc. 1. HI L; bHRYOOK, Justice of the Qj, I’enco. Ofllco No 3, Irvin's Row. Carlisle. Ijtrll £1). 1869—1 y , ' R. GEORGE S. SEARIGHT, Den- J tist. From the Baliimorc College of Dental 11/7707/. O/Uco at tho residence of Ills mother List heather Street, three doors below Eedford iirlisle, Pemm. [Dec. 1 ISOo. ' . . S.. BENDER, Homceoputbic Olilco No. G, South Ilauovor sh. annorly occupied hy John Lee. JSho. - (jimo y, ly. ,R. I*HEED, Homeopathic Phy /alclnn, Ims located Olllco next oor to St. Paul's Evantflllcal Church, West outlier Street. .Patients from a distance nleaso ill ln the forenoon. , [March 17, JB7ot-oui* 33. 8.. HIKOjjTB, Attorney and COUNSELOR AT LAW,. FIFTII STJHSBT, BELOW CHESTNUT Coi*. Library. Philadelphia. foctjj, isco-iy ROBERT OWENS, SLATB ROOFER. ST> DE AL ER IN SLATE LANCASTER, PA. r"' All Work Guaranteed. 85* Orders Left at this Office will receive mipt attention. October 14,3809—1 y. ' p?ats anir ®aus RESH SUMMER AII R l'v A £ OF'ALIj the XVJSW STYLES OF HATSAND caps. IE subscriber ims Just opened at JYo. 15 JS'orlh wcr hired, a few doors North of the Carlisle r°.Ul, U !S Ol l° of the largest aud best Stocks ATS and CAPS over oflbred in Carlisle. iKijats, Cnssimero of all styles and nuulllloa, ler? 1 different colors, and every descrip tor Soft Hats now made. . . • , • ho Buukard and Old Fashioned Brush, con itiy on hand and made to order, all warrant iolvo satisfaction. .. MEN’S fUII assol tmont *of , - BOY'S, AND CIIILDIIEN’Sj - ic also atiaed to my Stock, notions of dlllbr klmls, consisting of HKS’ AND GENTLEMEN'S STOCKINGS. : Huspendcra, _ Cbttarj, Qlovcs, Pehcils, Thread, * Uewimj Hit/:, Umbrellas, etc :I.ME SEGARS AND TOBACCO ALWAYS ON HANDT .e me n, call, tind examine my stock ns I fee, fileat of pleasing all, besides snviug.you mo- JOHN A. KHLLEII, Agent, i,. ~.„a • ISO. 15 North Hanover atreot. ATS AND-CAPS ! > YOU WANT A NICE HAT OR CAP ? Ik so. Don’t Fail to call on S- G. O A L L I O , | WO. 29. WES 2 MAIN 82'ItEET, Ire can be aeon the finest assortment of HATS AND CAPS to Carlisle. Ho takes a liultlng his old friends and customers. I'Uiew ones, to his splendid stock Just re’ “ from Now York and Philadelphia, con. 'B In part of line • SILK AND CASSIMERB HATS, W es ?. varlet y° f Hats and Caps o J nll °A which h 0 will sell at th ftcoi ™ n * rlee *t Also, his own manufactur its alwajs ou hand, and tATa MANUFACTURED TO ORDER. Silk-S,? rr , ang ?, me ! lt !° r coloring Hats . °f. w °, 016 ?.5SS <I ‘‘- Overcoats, Jto., at wriest notice (os ho UOlors every week) and einostreasonable terms. Also.a flnolotof e brands of TOBACCO AND CIGAR!? ■9 on hand. Ho desires to call the attentlo sous who have COUNTRY FURS i ns bo pays the highest cash prices for the p lilm a call, at tho above number, his >ld >* a uo feels confident of giving entire ay ,ls fisro,. I3oots anfc Slioea. ID STROHM, ~ W. D.SPONSLER, „ JOHN W. STROHM, MV AND .POP.UIAB SHOE, TKUNK AND HaT . STORE. 13, SOUTH HANOVER STREET,' justopened the lorgestandbestfitook BOOTS AND SHOES ff recQivl n u , tf i rJlB1 ®' aud continue almoa fftuts nnS 1 K°otla In our lino ns ovory ISOf ° Htock consists in all kinds and r^mGn«>°ivn ntl strong Leather (s; NVomSn-.o 1 . 8808 i md Childrens* Lasting co: mSS^S 1 ! 0 r> a Kld * Tarlc °y and French ifoiitf S.i ft » d Calf, Buff and Kid s; Menq ,n ? y 4 Calf and Euff Congress Gaiters and Bi» d Calf and Buff Oxford lals. Buskins and Overshoes; is Goat, Welt and Carpet Slip s’ and Childrens’ Fur mpd Sox- d’y Z ?f and ; P rlco 9;‘ Traveling I 1 RwmWfg suit the times? ALLS kItOFITQ' 1 oroforo, in issuing our card, it porsouai invitation to all In • under'oh/n 0 h 1 iroUK l l our Btock without r una uHrn \V, on i t( J, bu y unless suited in fveryounJn ' Vo , Hball always try to deal S’«evorvViH,* a Btra| B bfc forward manner, [. \VoiTon U « to , , . nor .ft lull ecmlvalantforhls 1 17111I 7111 avail tliomselves of importunity to call and see us. 6TBOHM a BPOWSLER. 8 . 1 --..1y ,EiJ ' I’LANTS, BLOWERS, *'OR SALE AT THE ®erland nurseries, X 111 S fll'lllNQ /rauS?t, o . fllno trees, Orapo Vines, tai V’• Strawberry Plants, Illmbarb, Or- WonlnS! a ’.'. a Bouoral -Nursorv stoolc.— if Oiiiln 13 a m transplanted, tliu* best vn- Uerv !• B si. Tomato - Cauliflower. Popper, 3 V mtH| ‘t 30, HwootPotaloo and loujo 18 *V“ r8 ° 'luuutlty. Hnrclj- and pL °WI3 B H , 'WllS??, 1 ;,, Inducement onoreil to b °ve H p yuta, for too purpose ofuny c "«fun»nS'.« a ? ri f rorolul ' prloollat. All In »Sd 1 ded tH nnd Promptly for- TpARMERS.—Hi el r Bona, and others JD can make iiionoy rapidly, selling tlio NEW Illustrated FARMERS’ MANUAL, edited by (Jco. E. Waring, Jr., Practical Farmer and MAnTX ■ . Author, and late Agricultural Engineer of N, Y. (jm,i L’OMB will nlmixm nn'.i Control Turk. The host book for Fulmers over or beard to a n m.Ji S. U) l iKsued-AH need Itbeforo planting. It Isasound lt contains no »o/v£f A a .!\? « uc c labor saving, money making book. Thousands M a r, e , ut by n tJbt It.aiia thousands more want it, 15th i& aiu RnWnV. I s t» Edition ready. Live Agent* wanted. Prollls . tO.,Bi)riuglleld, Mass. largo. A. 11, IIUBIJARD.-iCO Chestnut Ht. Philo. March 17,1670 —Iw • a . IIENKY S.UUPR Uro,na *«t<wii ( Cum I). Co., l J a. BY BRATTON & KENNEDY. rj} h e FIRST nSKIRE BOND ihicago, Danville & Viin BAIL HOAD Total amount to bo Issued. Capital Block paid In, Estimated Cost of Rond (110 miles). Estimated Earnings por annum. Net Earnings per annum, Interest oft’ the Loan por annum. Amount of Bonds porrallo of Road, Amount of Interest per mllo, Amount of Not Earnings por mile, The Bonds follow tlio completion of the Road —have the Union Trust Company of N Y as their Official Register nnd V Transfor Agent—and are sold at present at 05 and accrued Interest. t .t bear examination and comparison, bot nm’./.V 8 , b, ft lov « ed * \ han **y othornowboforo the siv s ! In J- 110 ? xeti R bd unchangeable- elements of Safety, Security and Profit. Ihoy beargood Interest—Seven per cent. Gold >or forty years—and are secured by a Sinkinn and I Irst Mortgage upon the road, Its out ut, and not Income, the Franchises, and all pres ent and future acquired property of the Compa- Jftey upon no new or half-settled ter ritory lor business to pay their Interest, but upon an old, well settled, and productive coun try; assuming that a rnllrood built through the heart of such a region oilers better t-ccurity for both. lnterest and Principal, than-n rood to be built < through the most highly exlbllcd wilderness or sparsely settled territory.- Tills Uailroad possesses special advantages, in running Into and out of iho City of Chicago, an Important Railroad and Commercial Center: in running through a line of villages and old farm ing settlpmouts in the richest portion of the aluto of Illinois; In running near to deposits of iron Oro of great extent aud value, and over broad holds oi tlio best coal in the Slate—which mining interests arc Its monopoly. And besides tlio local and other business thus assured, there will be attracted to this road the considerable traiuo already springing up “From the Lakes to the Gulf:” ns with its Southern Connections It forms a Trunk Lino 13 miles shorter than anv ° m\ er r - Dl l to fl ' oni Chicago to Nashville. * These Bonds are therefore based upon a Real ty and a Business that a few years must Inevi —in' valuo l,le ~ Unil compotent Judges say. treble Governments selling while tlio price is high pay well if put into these Bonds, aud Trust or Lstaio bunds can bo put into nothing better. * faaiPhlots, with Maps, itc., on baud for dis tribution. Bonds may bo had directly of us. or of our Agent in Carlisle. A. L. SPONSLER. ~ -No. —, West'lMaln St. \v . BAILEY LANG it CO., Merchants, 61 Cliff Street, New York, Agents for the sale of theßonds. Jan. 27.187U—2m i CITIZENS OF CUMBERLAND \J COUNTY. we have now on hand and Just received from tlio cities, and from manufacturers, tlio largest stock of now, cheap, aud good goods to bo found in auy two stores in the Valley. Wo have the best assortment of CLOTHS, CASSIMBRS, SATIN ETTS .. JEANS, FLANNELS, TICKINGS, ’ GINGHAMS. PRINTS, MUSLINS. ' D R E 8 S G O O. D S, Silks, Merinoes, Repps, Delaines, Alpacas. Coburgs, Plaids aud Stripes. F ' RIBBONS, HOSIERS, GLOVES, Zephyrs, Towels, Yarns, Linen and Cotton Table'Diapers. CLOAKINGS, low prices and Imo Handkerchiefs, collars nna cuFFs Velvets, Trimmings and-more notions Ithan can be found anywhere'under one roof. FUR S A N.V CA RP IS TS. Oil Cloths. Jh-uggots, Blinds, Coverlets, Quilts llopp mid Balmoral Shirts, ' * S H A W L S, of every description. In fact a splendid assort ment of goods, and more given for the dollar than anywhere else. , WOO L, at the highest price taken {ln exchange. Give ua a call * Oct. 2**. lt>GU. ! WAR!! WAR!!! 1,000 MEN WANTED The undersigned 1 will sell his entire stock FURNITURE at public sale at his room, On .Friday, March 25, 1870. Iftr B e assortment of HOME-MADE I- URMiURE, warranted to bo of the best mate* \valnut wor ? consisting in part of eight DRESSING BUREAUS, Marble lops, lino glasses, seven Walnut Dress ing Bureaus, plain, 11 Bureaus, ’ good quality, without glass, 40 Walnut Dining Tables, 20 Wal n,?t. Breakfast Tables, live Walnut Secretaries, with Book Cases. ft>ur Walnut Extension Tables, from 8 to 12 loot long, eight Walnut Pier and Centre Tables,.with and wlthc/ut marble tops, three Wall Hat Racks, three Cottage Suits, RIVE WALNUT WATNOTS, largo and small, 10 Walnut Closed Wash Stands Marble Tops, -10 Walnut enclosed and open Wash Stands, 10 Sideboards, walnut and popular. Solas and Chairs, all kinds, • p i p t y Bedsteads, some full .French, Jenny Lind, Japanese, Cot lago and common, and a variety of other arti cles In the trade too largo to enumerate All to uo sold without reserve. N. B.—Until the day of sale I will continue to sell Furniture at COST. r Sale to commence at 9 o’clock, on said day. when terms will be made known by DAVID SITE. Feb.2J, 1870—ts 1870. SPRING AND SUMMER IMPOTA TION. ' RIBBONS, MILLINERY AND STRAW,GOODS ARMSTRONG, GATOR & CO. IaiI’OKTEKS AND JODBEHS Ol* BONNET, TRIMMING & VELVET RIBBONS Bonnot Bilks, Satins and Velvets, BlondsJW'ls, Cratf&t, liuchcs. Mowers, Feathers, O It K AMENTS, STRAW BONNETS AND LADIES’ HATS,' TKIMITEJ) AND UNTKLMMED, SHAKER. HOODS, Ac. 237 and 239 BALTIMORE STREET, . BALTIMORE, MD. >flur t —jo-fou ml-4 u-tiy ff Country, and unequalled in choice variety and cheapness, comprising the latest Parisian nov elties. ,t- Orders solicited, and prompt attention given. Feb. UJ, 1870—2m* IGGS! EGGS!! EGGS!!! From light Brhhraa fowls, pea combed, strictly piu*o fronidraported stock. S 2. 0 0 FEE-DOZEN. . No order will bo booked unless accompanied by the cash. . 1 A few pairs for sale. Si.oo PER £AIR; A few Half-Breed Italian Bees, /or sale In movable comb hives— cheap. Ad dress 0. U. HOFFKU. P. O. POX IJ7, Carlisle, Pa. March 3,1870 fJIHE MARY INSTITUTE CARLISLE, Tenk’A. A BOARDING SCHOOL FOR GIRLS. The Ninth Annual Session will begin on Wed nesday, September Ist. For circulars or any thor Information address UEV. WM. 0. LEVERETT, M. A. Carlisle, Penu’a April 22, IMS—Ij I . ;...; k , • . .• :, . 7 _ ~. ii b o l l! a t e .1 OF THE $2 500 000 2 100 000 4 500 000 2 039 300 870 70S 175 000 18 000 1 260 0 28-1 Oft from Ule’s withered bower, <r In still communion with the past I turn, muso on thee, the only flower In Memory’s urn. And when the evening polo Bows lllce on tho dim blue wave I stray to hear tho flight winds wall Around thy grave. Whore Is thy spirit flown? I gaze above -thy look Is Imaged there; I listen, and tho gentlo toue - . Ison the air. Oh I come, whllo hero I press My brow upon thy grave—lu those mild And thrilling tones of tenderness Bless, bless thy child I MOW TUB COURSE OF TRUE EOVE bin RU9f SMOOTH, My father was laudably anxious that’l should marry. It is not a feeling which as a rule, is very common with the rever ed author of our existence, and it ought to be encouraged, especially when the eon has nothing to live on beyond the al lowance made by the relieving officer the parental relative. But my father had himself married early, during the lifetime of my grandfather, and in his case the experiment had succeeded ad mirably. He had a comfortable, entail ed estate, and he was not one of those prodigal fathers who wish the eldest son to join them in cutting off the entail. I was disposed to be dutiful to my father and theoretically I did not object to the theory of connublality. But matrimony was a subject on which my mind was in a peculiarly wavering and' unsettled con dition. A long procession of divinities had flitted through the vacant chambers of my heart, and none bad succeeded in taking up a permanent lodgment there. Kate,. Harrietts, and Julia had each their charms, which were fairly appre ciated by my candid mind: and often Julia the Second, and Kate the Second, and Kate the Third had succeeded in their brief reign ns the sovereigns of my affections. From these facts it will be perceived X was yet heart-whole, and had not seriously suffered in the slight skir mishes with the light artillery of Dan Cu pid. It was a reproach against a great political philosopher that he gave up to party what was meant for mankind.— The notion of following that example— of giving up to one girl what was meant for womankind altogether— appeared to me to be exceedingly tinphilosophical. Lawford or Exter College and I had gone out for a long excursion in the Lakes.. Now there.is nothing like moun taineering to do away with any lingering love weaknesses. We had been doing some of the English, and afterwards the Scottish mountains. You take your knapsack on your back, swing your Held glass over your shoulder, have your pocket-flask, compass, and wraps In good order. Then you go across the heather, and climb mountains, and if you don’t get over a prodigious number of miles In the course of the .expedition, you have to sleep in the open air on a mountain ; which you don’t greatly mind for once or twice in a way. I did mind it con siderably, however, when we came over Ben Lomond one night, and first mist, then rain, then sleet came down furious ly. Lawford and I had been discussing our loveaffairs, a topic [of which he Was very fond ; and being hopelessly engaged himself, he exhorted me to “concentrate my affections,” as he was pleased to ex press himself. Ho" had certainly shown me a good example, as his engagement dated back from his first Long Vacation, and I had already taken my degree.— Moreover, Lawford had engaged himself on expectations so exceedingly indefinite that there never appeared the least chance of their being realized; whereas my paternal acres seemed imperatively to demand a future mistress. I said I only watted for my fate but the Periodic maidens of the May were little suited to my taste. Lawford became weakly elo quent on the subject,,ashis manner was; in a way, Indeed that seemed slightly nauseating to one of my athletic, muscu lar tastes. But the mist, the rain, the sleet, certainly cleaned the nonsense out of our beads, and we pushed on very rapidly towards our inn. In the dark ness we had long lost our foothpath, but guided by the distant lights at the inn, we went at It helter-skelter across coun try, half wading through a river, and tumbling through a waterfall, and-in a very dilapidated condition' we tumbled into the hostel. . The house was very full, and our modest request for beds was treated with as much dignified disdain as if we were Imploring them to perform an act of charity. At last we were allot ted a double-bedded room in the garret, No. 123, which we might either take, or swim across the lake—for the last steam er had left—to another inn. As our inn professed to make up one hundred and thirty beds, it became a matter of lively speculation to the inquiring mind where the other seven beds or bedrooms could be found. The only hypothesis that suited the case was that beds were made BENTZ ■£ (SO. XS7O up dirtbe JaddlUga"oTtho stairs,—an Idea in which wo were forced to acquiesce for the want of a better. When we came down into the largo coffee-room of the hotel, we found it completely crowded with thirsting and, hungering guests. The steamer had been late, and a large dinner had been laid out, and seats eagerly appropriated.— Good cheer and good ■ fellowship were the order of the day. To say the truth, I was n little tired of Lawford. He rath er overdid, I thought, that story of his Bopbia, and the hopes, Joys, and antici pations that belonged to the subject. In all the conversational parts of the room tho empty chairs wore invidiously lean ing forward in token that they wore en gaged. ‘Just like my luck,’ said Lawford.— 'We shall be pushed into the uttermost corner, whence we shall be served last, and get everything cold.’ Confirmatory of this remark, the wait er at this moment pointed out a largo table, at a distant part of the roam, and stretching to the end. Lawford literally wen t to the wall, and I came next to him. Next to mo wore three vacant chairs.— There was tea laid In front of these chairs. • and It somehow happened— a cours" un-' usual for me—that I began to speculate who' their occupants would be. ‘I hope it will be no more lovo-siok un der graduates, pretending to read and to mountaineer, but only spooning away their time. Or some men of the Alpine Chib, sneering at Ben Lomond because, iWlfalL MT MOTHER’S GRAVE. nv QGO. D. PKENTICE, The trembling dew drops fall Upon the shutting flowers; like souls at rest The stars shine gloriously, and all Save mo, Is blest-. Mother, 1 love thy grave! The violet, with its blossoms blue and mild, Wave o’er thy hend-whon shall It wave Above thy child? 'Tls a bright flower, yet must Its bright loaves to the comlngtompest bow Dear-mother; r tls thine emblem—dust - Is on thy .brow. And I could love to die, To leave untasted life’s tlarlc; bitter streams' By thee, as erst in childhood lie, And share thy dreams. And must I linger here, To stain the plumage of my sinless years And mourn the hopes to childhood dear With bitter tears. * Ayo, must I Huger here, A lonely branch upon a bloated tree, Whoso last frail leaf, untimely sere, Went down with thee. filbrefflutento CARLISLE, PA.," THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 1870 forsooth, they once did Monte Rosa! Or perhaps some wandering parsons giving: themselves intellectual airs like the fel lows of Trinity, or perhaps have come away from their flat parishes in the mid land counties, and have never seen a Jake or a mountain before. Or most like l a Scotch bailie, who picks up gold in comes here to spend it, with his high cheeked boned wife and daughter. Or some dilapidated pedes trians, like ourselves; well,, that would be better than the city dandies who have just walked out of their bandboxes.” While I was thus musing, and sum ming up some recent experiences, the door of the coffee room opened, and pres ently a murmur of surprise and admira tion ran round the room, as a gentleman and two ladies entered. It is a well known fact, that when Professor Wilson and his future wife entered a public room together; they were both so remarkably handsome, that the gentlemen in the room rose up and gave them a, hearty cheer. There was no ovation now. but certainly every eye seemed to follow this beautiful girl and her distinguished look ing parents as they proceeded up the room. * ‘What an angel from .heaven !' whis pered Lawford to me. < Lawford prhfts himself on being a good desoriber of female beauty, which I acknowledge la not. at all my role. He continued to dilate in a style which I considered to be hardly consistent with the strict allegiance which he owed to his Sophia, on the charms of, the ‘lncognita.* What a sweep of limb!* he whispered. •What glorious hair!—why, she could sit down on it! what.sapphiro dyes! what a sweet, engaging expression ! what per fect lips and teeth ! She is the best thing 1 I've seen on my travels I* Compassionate reader, he was very young and still an undergraduate —hav ing lately been plucked for ‘Greats,* Ihad togiveLawford a ferocious pinch, for, to my utter astonishment, the party moved towards the spot where we were sitting. The engaged chairs were for them, and—ah me, I. could scarcely be lieve my eyes—the fortune of war was Indeed on my side,—St. Incognita took her. seat on the very next chair to my own J I was astonished, confused, petrified.— ±±ad aceiestial vision appeared to me, I could hardly have been in such sudden awe and gladness. X felt instantaneous ly that I could do anything for her that any knight of the Round Table ever did for any of Mr. Tennyson’s heroines.—' I would walk fifty miles for her slightest guerdon; wait twenty years for her: Immolate Lawford as Geraint did Earl Doorm ; *take to a profession, and be at the end of It In' no time. Everybody was avenged, all of a sudden. The for mer triflers of my heart were a spectral' crew who had at duce vanished into thin air. To quote a saying which I had oft en laughed at as absurd. ‘I had fallen in love at first sight.’, Incognita .was little conscious of the war and tumult which raged within the sedate whiskered individual by her side. She seemed, indeed, altogether uncon scious of the personal claims of that gen-, tleman. Lawford was a little put out?, and began to tire me with trite conver sational queries, but I only gave crooked answers. to his . cross-questions. I was morosely occupied with my dinner, but listened anxioqsly to hear the first an gelic tones of what I felt must be an an gelic voice.' > The angelic voice spoke at last. Obey iug, I suppose, some sign unseen by me, a waiter approached her, and putting her teacup aside, she said, In a firm but decided toup—‘Beer and cayenne popper.’ I confess I was disappointed, I might almost say disgusted. . The first serene accents of my divinity ought not to have related to the vulgar wants of her ooporeal vestlture. She also, I observ ed with regret, drank her beer and con sumed a minute proportion of cayenne pepper, X iooked at her, in a severely critical frame of mind, hoping to find blemishes which had eluded my first observation. But it could not bo done.— The lips were coral, the teeth pearls, the eyes sapphieres, the brow marble, the hair gold. ‘Ah, 7 X thought, what a glo rious casket Nature can bestow on the paltriest minds! Such a perfect head, and she talk of beer and cayenne pepper 1’ I finished my dinner, without having buy precise notion of what I might be eating. The dart was in my side, and I qould only wriggle and writhe under a sweet sudden anguish. They were talking-one could not help over-hearing what these people said—about going on to the Trosaohs.— The good people were a little confused in their geography. I briefly told them •what was their best way from the point whore they were. X was, somehow or other, rather agitated, and X believe my voice was both -low and indistinct. X had a dry reply from .the father, and no notice at all from the young lady, and .for a few minutes X lapsed into an inter nal rage. . Suddenly the sapphire eyes, in their full splendor, were turned upon me. Oh, those eyes ! ■ “Tiro of the fairest stars lu all the heaven. Having some business, do entreat her eyes To twinkle In their place till they return." .And then some clear, oaurteous words were addressed to me on the one subject on which I could speak rather well,’the mountains. But ! instinctively felt that I was talking in a very stupid and in expressive way, that did no justice to my considerable natural ability. Law ford, however, was able to talk volubly and loudly—that was certainly an ad-, vantage from his being anchored per manently to a Sophia,—and ho somehow contrived to give the idea that he bad performed prodigies of valor on the Scottish hills. The wretch! and I had been obliged to act as guide throughout, and wait for him half a dozen times, and lend him an arm, and replenish his flask, and pick him out of the river. I de nounced him in my heart as an Impostor, andfeit very much inclined to ride up and denounce him publicly. Still, I had a little chat with Incognita lu the intervals permitted by his declamatory conversation with the old people. She had all my favorite tastes. She loved Millais, she read London Society; she knew Tennyson by heart, she was very fond of the Opera, but she had only been There twice, she was passionately attached to cathedrals and to cathedral music, very fond of Rotten Bow, but had only been there three times. And then the full truth came out. She had only left.school at the beginning of that very aiijpmer. Her father and mother, from Wnom she had been separated, for many years, had'only returned from India two ' months before she bad left school to live with them, and to be happy forever af terwards. Of course she would have masters still for Italian, music, and her water-colors. It was so delightful to go about with papa and mamma. They had had a few weeks in London after she had left her school at Brighton, and since then they bad been traveling about.— They had finished with the English lakes, and wore now going through the Scotch lakes. I thought the coincidence was remarkable—but in reality- It .was commonplace enough—that wak-direoise iy ray own line of tour. It was the pleasant, happy talk of the free, liberat ed sohool-giri budding into the woman: and the bright Incognita’s real name was Clara, which exactly suited her fresh ness and her beauty. Still I owned that the beer and the cayenne pepper was a miserable draw baok. But ft was destined that oven in this respect my dissatisfaction should receive considerable alleviation. For it rqally appeared that this heroic girl had been that day to the Summit of Ben Lo mond. 1 owned to myself that ahe was quite entitled to her chop and her glass of beer, and even, If sheeo wished, to suoh flery condiment as cayenne popper.— Still, even on this point, after a long and anxious discussion, Layvford greatly re lieved my mind. For ho asserted in most unequivocal terms .that he had heard the mother counselling beer and cayenne pepper to the young lady. , who was simply repeating the mother's words to the servant who was attending her.— Certainly a mostdisproportloned amount of dlsqu etude was excited In my mind by the bitter beer and the red popper. > . course of the two or three hours co , f T eo rooD >. I had ascer tained that Clara Benyon and her parents were going on by steamer to Tarbet, and ,“5?- ° ur owu line of travel had, been different—to get to lu versnaid and go on by coach to .Loch " ' Accordingly, when Lawford together in that hideous double-bedded garret, I had to indoctriue Lawford that it was expedi ent for us to abandon all bur well arrang ed plans of the Trosachs, the lakes, and »° 'T K E ° dh'eot west, a plan which after due consideration, wo had abandoned. I did not wish to be dis courteous to Lawford, and strove to ren der his disposition amenable to argu ment. Eventually, however, after clenching my arguments by stating that I at least imended to cross Loch Lomond, he branded me as a man hot knowing his own mind, and went to sleep in a state of sulky acquiescence. I strolled on the lawn, watching the Mater, and idly flinging pebbles on the mimic waves. Somhow or other, I felt very happy. I seemed to be living a fresher, fuller life. There was a sort of kindness to me in the, air, the sunlight, and the water; and when I saw Clara in her morning dress coming out'npon the lawn, somehow there Seemed to be' no strangeness in it. I almost expected that wo should be calling each other by our Christian names. There seemed to be a familiarity and old-worldness about our position; that this was a fateful hour, for which I had always lived, and . towards the bringing about of which all sorts of events had concurred. 1 steamer goes at a quarter*' past ten,’ I observed, taking out my watch, ‘it is nofr a quarter past nine.’ 'O, we’re hot going by the steamer. We have changed our minds.’ , ‘Not going by the steamer?’ I exclaim ed, with a thrill of disappointment. —Xtts. stantly the face of Nature seemed over cast. Shadows stole down the mountain and crept along the water. The sun lost its brightness, the lake its ripple, and the birds their song. ‘No.’shesaid, ‘I have just been reading through Scott’s ‘Lady of the Lake,’ and I have persuaded papa to go to the Tros aoliir, ana tp bco .EUcn'o Xole ou JjOCU Katrine.’'. ‘O varium mutabile semper,’ I mutter ed to myself with a reminiscence of my faint and faded scholarship. Mybrilliant conversation of the night before had been as nothing compared to the still potent spell of the nourished, great Enchanter of the Nortlj. When she told me last night that they were going to the other side of the lake, I had at once fabricated the statement that this was also our des tination. One thought, however, flashed upon my mind immediately, that it was quite competent on my part to alter my destination to suit the new circumstan ces. It was, perhaps, rather hard upon Lawford, but then he must be taught to sacrifice himself upon the altar of friend ship. , Lawford certainly did use strong lan guage. He cut up exceedingly rough. He said I was using him as a mere thing and a chattel, without any respect for his own feelings, and for vile uses of ray own. The purblind Lawford, after all his experience with his Sophy, hot to see, as X myself was beginning to see dimly, how the land really lay. He said he. had ascertained that .there was only a single outside place left, and he bar gained that if we did not dissolve part nership that outside ride should be re served-for him. I did not know in what way the Benyons were travelling, so I assented, hot without a dark misgiving. To my infinite chagrin the Benyons werepoing outside, and on that brilliant morning. I was to be immured in the body of the coaob. I saw that wretch Lawford climb the box, and adjust Miss , Benyon’s wraps and make her comforta ble,. with a skill doubtless derived from his intimacy with , that Sophy. With many groans I subsided into my place, having for my vls-ji-vU a buxo'in country woman, a personal friend of the coach man’s whom he was accommodating with a lift. I felt dreadfully disappointed. I now acknnwjedged to myself that I had falldn regularly in love witffClara, and it really seemed for the moment that the course of my love was running smooth. 1 was musing in a lonely revery, on the borders of slumber, when suddenly the conch stopped. I now perceived that the sky was overcast, and that rain was falling heavily. “Sorry to trouble you, sir,’’ said the guard, “but two ladies are coming inside on account of the rain.” I instantane oufOy determined to give the guard a handsome tip. “The soft, tender, indul gent, blessed rain.” Scarcely were they , seated when the sun shone out again. I longed to tell him, likeLucifor, how I hated hia beams, Clara—cruel, relentless Clara!—said they had better climß to the roof agrafe. But her mamma-blessings on her head ! said it would be a pity to give so much trouble, and they were best as they wem. So X had them to myself, and I think we were ff brilliant little party. Being in the same carriage, we desired to be mutually agreeable, and nothing occur red to interrupt the harmony of the drive. The mother was a beautiful old Indy. I was almost as much iu love with .her as 1 was with her daughter. It was a happy drive. I was wrapt iu Ely sium. I heard divine, music, I saw heav enly eyes and an angelic face. At Invermaid I happened to recollect some lines that Wordsworth composed on a Highland lassie there. The old lady had some faint recollection of them, and asked me what I knew. I said the piece was rather long, and I only recollected the first few and the last few lines. And I said,— “Thelines are entitled, *To aHighlnnd Girl, at Invermaid upon Loch Lomond,' .the very spot waere we have been this mrrnlug.” ‘Howinteresting!'said Clara; 'Goon.' *lt is jio delightful to have such a mem ory,' said the kind old lady. I quoted from the poet, not quite .ac curately, I candidly confess, but slight ly garbling my author, that the poet should say the very words that I wished, to say. I felt very melancholy at the thought that I could not always be sacri ficing the Exeter man at the altar of friendship, and go roaming about the world, in a miscellaneous, sort of way, after these people. I think I showed a little emotion In my voice, and gazed on Clara steadfastly as I said, — “Sweet Highland girl, a very shower Of beauty la thy earthly dower. 1 bless thee, vision as thou art, I bless thee with a human heart; Ood shield thee to thy latest yoara, That neither know 1 nor thy peers, Anil yet my eyes are filled with tgars. “With earnest feelings I shall pray For thee when I am lar away, l-’or never saw I mien nor face In which more plainly I aould trace Benignity and home-bred sense, Klp'enlng In perfect Innocence. “What hand but would a garland cull l<‘or thee who art so beautiful ? O happy pleasure J live to dwell Beside thee In some heathy doll; Adept thy homely ways and dress, A shepherd, thou a Hhopcrdcss.” I certainly thought the quotatloft—ex cept, perhaps, the last lino but one—a happy one, and I flattered myself that my mode of bringing it out was equiva lent to a declaration. And for the first time 1 thought 1 saw. a conscious blush and a slight confusion on the charming face of the young beauty. • Without thosilghtest touch of memvais honte, 1 followed them to the hotel wliich they pronounced for, to the distraction of Lawford, who had mentally determined upon the opposition establishment. At this hotel, almost ns soon ns wo en tered, people pertinaciously requested us to write our name in the Visitor’s Book, I did so with impatience, as this writing of autographs always seemed to mo a | bore and a piece ofnouseaso. However, in a couple of minutes wo were Immor* , v embalmed on the books of the es tablishment,*— ford^ 11 La^ford ' Ex eter. College, Ox ‘ Charles Rolfe. Donnerdalo Place, in Shropshire.' Scarcely had X written ‘my name and laid down the pen, when X felt my hand grasped by old Beuyon. ‘ls It possible,’ exclaimed this yenerat-' ? i j^vidual, —for in the last few hours I had learned to regard him in that light .that you are really Charles Rolfe, of Donnerdalo Place?’. ' X e 3/ 1 sald ’ graapiug liis bauds with ! much fervor, ‘and you ’ ““ your cousin, your second cousin. Major General Benyon, just come from lu , ( ' 1 “- Have you never heard about meV’ .. yp. s >’ 1 said . “S a sudden gleam or recollection came across my mind of things long since forgotten. ‘Why. von are my father’s first cousin. You will excuse my not remembering you, as von thne Bea iU India tbe wl, ole °f my'llfe ‘Why, I am almost the only relation you have got In the world,' said the Gen eral, shaking me .warmly by the hand. Hero, mamma, Miss Clara, here’s your i-couarn,* Charles ilolfo, whom we have been so anxious to see.’ Mrs. Beuyon, with her benign, moth erly way, shook my hand and kissed my forehead. Clara looked up timorously, not knowing in what way she should re cognize and welcome her new-found kins man - 'XX! 1 a ha PPy audacity X availed myself of the advantage afforded by the situation. I flung ray arms around her and kissed her cheek. I trembled with joy as I received her pure embrace in re turn J?he Major General looked very much astonished I By JoVe^hum—ah yes— cousins will be affectionate, I suppose,’ ho muttered, as he divested himself of his spencer in the hail. It will be remembered that Loch Kat- I riue formed a part of our original pro gramme. Here I found n letter- waiting me from my father, the principal part of which ran as follows : • “ I that my cousin, Major General Benyon, who came back from India a few months ago, has gone.into Scotland. If you can find out where he is, you had better try to meet him. Prom all I have heard, I have a great respect for him. You know, perhaps, that ho atanps next in mu entail lur.uns property after your self. And this reminds me, my dear boy, how very much I should desire to see you married. Tshould net like this property to pass away into the hands of strangers, -although they are blood relations. Gen. Benyon has a daughter; if you and she were to hit it, that, would be the very thing,, but it is. hardly probable. Marry whom you will, my son, for I can trust you, but marry soon.’ I now lived en famillc with the Ben yons. That wretched Lawford might undisturbedly continue his work, to have far greater trials. 1 walked and chatted in unrestrained intereomse with Clara and her parents. The gallant general was a flue follow, but something of a martinet. He insisted, that wo should get up, walk, ride, dress,.eat, with mili tary punctuality.. After dinner one day, he told me how six or seven men left the regiment to get married, and stayed two days beyond their leave; .whereupon he tried them all and gave them three dozen a piece. Ugh ! the wretch ! But when I .came to him a week after, and told him about my love for Clara, and showed him my father’s letter, he was deeply, moat humanly moved. ‘Cer tainly, my dear boy, it would bo a most excellent family arrangement. I am your heir-at-law, which is of course an absurd thihg to say, but it would be a most hap py thing for the two branches of the fam ily to be united. - I will fell her mamma to talk to Clara on the subject, and I have no doubt but she will see the propriety lof obeying my wishes.’ The dear old martinet evidently conceived that his daughter wag ready (;o fall in love when ever she should.reoelvespeciflodirections on the Subject. With some difficulty I obtained per mission to plead mypwn cause. I found Clara that afternoon in the lovely walk opposite Ellen’s Isle, by Loch Katrine. T took her unresisting hand, and told her what the elders had determined ip our case. There was a touching war of the red and white roses on her'cheok, but I now knew her heart was mine. There never was a courting more smooth and easy, a marriage more tranquil and blessed. It is said tbat the course of true love never did run smooth; but if this is the rule, there must bo oometimes an ex ception. Perhaps if the love were more equal, free, spontaneous; if-the lover rose to the full height of the occasion—though I am far fr(im arrogatingaliythiuiiio ray. self— love might be more of that paradi saical state which it was intended to be, and so might run smooth. Sometimes marriages are made in heaven. I trust mine may have been, for in my case the course of true love really did run smooth CriEEßrira Influences.— How it must cheer ami gladden {be heart to have something pleasing for the eye to rest upon, no matter if it bo but a simple en graving, or a bunch of autumn leaves tacked up here and there on the bare wall. A few sea-sbells.-a little statuette, or even a pot of green moss growing on the window-sill, give an air of- taste and refinement to the moat homely cottage. And how true it is that the silent influ ence of these little surroundings helps to make up the great whole that purifies and uplifts the soul to Something higher and better! • I remember once to have called on a poor aiok ttoman, who lived in miserable lodgings, and without many of the neces saries of life; yeti noticed-on the old rickety stand near her bedside a flower pot containing a pansy, rich in the tints of purple and gold; “Oh!” I exclaimed, “ what a beautiful pansy. ■“ Yes," she replied, her pale countenance lighting up with tenderness and joy, "it is very beau tiful to me, as it often leads my thoughts away from myself, from my snflering and sorrows. Somehow, I never feel half, so poor when I have something pretty to look at.” No matter how humble our station iu llte thore is always something to cheer the heart nod make us happy if we would but accept it. The pure airs of Heaven, are they not for us all ? The sweet clover blooms and the scent of the pine trees, the warbling of birds, and the rippling of the brooks, do they not speak to ua of . -Ifiyp-.-lmpe!' and happfnpsn ? Yea, 11. are many beautiful thingain the world, if wo would but see them. 3fot how many men and.women live in continual discontent and replnings, seemingly un mindful of the gifts with which God sur rounds them! ~ Show mo the person who hears music in the song of the cricket, or the hum ming of the bee, who sees beauty in the lowly wild flower, the fallen log covered with moss and Ivy, the jagged rook ortho pebbles beneath the feet: one who loves o listen to the winds, be they ever so wild, and I will show you a person who can never be entirely miserable or alone. The beautiful aoullight within will re veal in amber tints some spots whereon the weary heart may rest, 1 and nature’s voice will ever whisper of joy and peace, no matter how fleorely the storms of life may sweep around. A Good Daugiitek.— There are other ministers of lovo more couspicous than she, but none in which a gentler, loveli er, spirit dwells, and nonb to which the heart's warm requitals more joyfully re spond. She Is the steady light of her father’s hoUsip- Her ideal Is indissolubly connected with that of his ilresido. She la his morning sunlight and evening star. The grace, vivacity and tenderness of her sox, have their place in the mighty sway which she holds over his spirit. Sheds the pride and ornament of his hospitality, and the gentle nurse In his sickness. • VOL 56.—N0. 41 ASr_E,TCITI]V« SCESE. Iho of showmen aro of ten beset with numerous difficulties while pursuing their daily avocations in our Southern country, while the winter rains and heavy roads make it difficult for the managers to make good the promises of the agents. Such was the case with John - Robinson's Circus and Menagerie a few days since. While performing in Taila hasae, Florida, it was mentioned to Mr. J, F. Robinson, jr., that he might expect some difficulty in passing through a long and dismal swamp between that place and Quincy, on accoun t of the large num ber of alligators who infested the ford at this particular locality, and who at this season of the year are very ferocious, and on the watch for any unfortunate mule or horse that may become entangled in -the numerous ruts, quicksands and holes which abound at the ford; but bo replied as the agent had already made the ar- i rangoments for him to go through, and it was not his nature to turn back, ho had no course left but to follow, trusting to hia previous good fortune in getting thus, far. The result of his decision, although’ anticipating some difficulty, was much more serious than lie anticipated. At 3 o'clock, P. M., ou Tuesday, Janu ary 20, Prof. Lewis Houston, who has charge of the animals, started, with the elephant Empress, the large Baotriau camel, the beautiful Arabian white ca mei, a fine.thorough-bred mare ami colt and two spotted coaoii dogs, to make the trip lo. Quincy, although repeatedly cau tioned by Mr. J. F. Robinson, jr., not to attempt the passage of tho swamp in any other than daylight. He, however, went through. Before approaching tho ford an occasional hollow or roar was heard' betokening that tho inhabitants of the locality had not retired for the night and a sudden plunge and splash in the water would dendto that tho enemy, was on the alert for mischief. The elephant would every few steps, throw his trunk aloft! emitting at the same time a loud screech ' of defiance, the camels uttering low moans, while'the horses almost refused to stir, and stood trembling with fear while the dogs kept up an incessant howl ing. Approaching the water at tho ford Houston determined upon the Immediate passage through, before the alligators had time to summon their crew. Bidding the elephant outer, she step pofi Wriiv in, at the same time lashing the water furiously wltu Ko* tr un u mo camels, horses and dogs following close in the rear. He had passed two-thirds of I the way, when a sharp yell of pain from cme of the dogs, and his sudden disap pearance, denoted that the swamp fiends were at work, and before he could collect his thoughts, the other dog went under with a long death howl. Hq,nbw began to think of his own safety, and calling to the elephant, he commanded her to turn. As she did so, a fearful roar was heard from tho large Baotrlan camel, who 'had at that instant been attacked. The water seemed alive with alligators. The roaring, bellowing and screeching of elephant, camels, and alligators, were terrific. They would throw their pon derous jaws open and tear huge pieces of flesh from the camels, while the poor brutes would utter heart-rending groans and cries for relief. In the meanwhile the elephant wus.nbt idle. Ever solicitous for the welfare of her keeper and com panions, sho had, at that moment of see* mg them safely landed upon the opposite shore, rushed .back to the assistance of her friend, the camel, who by this time was. nearly gone, and by creating tho greatest furore among her assailants, suc ceeded m bringing the head of the camel to the shore, that portion being ail that remained of the poor animal. In the confusion that ensued, Houston did not miss the colt until warned by a shrill scream or neigh, which seemed to come from several rods below. Upon rushing down the stream a few yards a terrible scene was presented to ills view. It would seem that the denizens of tho Cliattahoofae swamp for miles around had become cogn izan t of some ex tra attraction at. that particular point on this night, and had started for that rendezvous, and on reaching the scone of action had unex pectedly encountered both food and op position at tho sumo time—for, simulta neously with the meeting of the colt, they met.their pursuers, and an awful battle ensued. Several times it seemed as if the colt would escape and regain the shore, so busy were tiro alligators in de stroying one another, but just before tho poor creature would reach the land, some one monster, more ravenous than brave, would leave tiro melee, pursue and drag it back into, deep water, until finally, it became exhausted, and fell an easy prey to tlie fearful reptiles, while Professor Houston stood looking on with blanched Uin! torrUloJ loolsu, vtWoUj unable U> ren der the least assistance, threatened with a terrible death should he even attemr' it. As lie turned to retrace his steps to, want tile place where ho left the remain ing animals, ho counted the cost, Ho had made the passage,, but at a terrible sacrifice. Ho came out with an elephant, one camel and one . horse. The camel was valued at $5,0Q0, and very rare. The colt Mr. Robinson had repeatedly refused' 81,000 for. It will he many a long year before Mr. Houston will forget the hor rors of passing through a Florida swamp at night. —Fori Qaincs Mirror. . A Funr.oumi.—Harry McArthur used to tell of au Irishman, who was seen at the trenches of Yorktown, holding his hand above the earth-works. His Cap tain asked him : “ What are you doing that for, Pat ?” Ho replied, with a grin and a working of his lingers : 11 I’m a feeliu 1 for a furlough, sure !” Just then a miuie hall struck his arm. below the wrist. Slowly drawing it down aud grasping it with the other hand to restrain the blood, while a queer expres sion of pain and humor passed over his face, he exclaimed : ‘An’ faith, oirgit’o a diachnigo T" Dr. Lyman Beecher once said ; 11 A .great many professed Christians have no other idea of religion than that it is the moans of getting to,heaven when they die. As to doing anything for God while they live, it does not enter into their plans. I tell you, my brethren, Ido not believe there is one in five hundred such professors that will reach heaven : for there is a magnanimity in true religion that is above all such contemptible mean ness." -—ANMHU4qtmry-who-o»i\ni met of the great giant, found lately in Pennsylvania, discovered on it some mys terious marks, resembling the trade mark of the Waterbury Brass Kettle Company. Grave doubts of the genuineness of this specimen have since then been floating throughjiis mind. The rules for punctuation should be carefullyobserved. otherwise wo fall into such a muss as diu the writer who, in do scrlbing-the last scene in * Othello,’ said: “Upon which the Moor, seizing a bolster full of rage and jealousy, smothered Des demoufl.” A lady in Massachusetts complains that there are persons in her town who will go so far as to take an outh that they will not divulge a secret intrusted them, and in less than two days will take it in a basket and peddle it around town as they would popcorn and peanuts. Tim famous Jenny Lind is said to be unable to sing in public any more, and this circumstance is reasonably accounted for by the statement that her little daugh ter has “ inherited her mother’s voice.” A lady advertises for sale one baboon, three tabby cals anil a parrot. Sho states that being now: married, she has no fur ther use for them, for the .reason that their amiable qualities are all combined in her husband. Hates for 3,bucrtising. ADVsnxiaEinarrs will bo inserted at Ton cent per lino for tbo first Insertion, and five cons per lino for each subsequent Insertion. Qoaj orly half-yearly, and yearly advertisements in serted at a liberal reduction on tbo above rates Advertisements should bo accompanied by tbo Cash. Wuensent without any length of time specified for publication, they will bo'continned nnttl ordered out and enarged accordingly 1 . Cards, Circulars, and every ol h or description of Job and Card Printing. (Bents at ILitetatuee. Take a little wife, The prettier tbo better; Pat her cbnek, and when She wants to kiss you lot her. Keep her in tho house— There sho’ll cook your mutton Earn y^UrJacket, 100, If she's worth a button. Never mind tho host Of her aunts and cousins; Aslc them to “drapln;” Feed them by tho dozens. One of these odd days you’ll feel ono inch taller, When you see bor bug A chopping little squallor. Vue best note paper: Greenbacks. Dearer than life—Fashionable funer als. blister* 11SITTI * s3 ’ llla trimony is I „ , s ij' Walter Scott’s dog was worth | nfty dollars, what was his kennel-worth f , A Pennsylvania paper says that the late Admiral Stewart was the oidost naval officer in the army. An unpleasant sort of arithm’otio -Division among families. • What relatives ought.to make good pedestrians? Step-sons. Dorrs not a man blow his-own horn When ho tries to cool hot punch with his breath ? A druggist has tiiis cheerful invita tion in his show-window ; "Come in and get twelve emetiosfor one ahillin"- ” \ou ought not to.oorao'to our dance boots with nails in ’em.” “X haven’t.” “Then you’ve had your toes out offi" A hatter ol this city 1 claims to ho a ■ universal- sympathizer,” hocahso, he says, lie has fell for every one. An Indianapolis paper tells of a man who reproved his wife with an ax-handle. A girl in Wisconsin swallowed forty permission caps. Her mother refrained from spanking her for fmr uf an explo sion.' Alluding to chignons, Mrs. Clever said, “A girl, now, seems ail head I” "Yes, till you talk to her,” replied Mr Clever. Xni: young lady who "wished she was a bird,” changed her mind after dinner when she saw. how dreadfully little was left of the turkey. "Yousay, Mrs. Jones, that tho prisoner stabbed the deceased. Was it in the thorax, or in the abdomen ?” “Ho, sir, it .was in the street’", A VerhonT editor hhs invented a now method of rousingdolinqnentsnbscribers to a sense of their duty. Ho writes an obituary notice of them. . A colored gentleman in Texas went into a blacksmith’s shop with his coat tail full of powder. Ho camo out through tho roof. ■ ' An enormous petrified mitten has been found kt Fort Ann, Washington County. It is supposed to belong to the Cardiff giant. A temperance. editor, in drawing at tention to an article against ardent spirits : in ono of Uia papers, says, “For the effects J of intemperance see our inside!” /At a recent Methodist camp meeting in Connecticut, a minister prayed“Ob .Lord, humble us, break us all down’ smash us all to pieces I” • • Teacher Why was Joseph put into the pit? Thomas, (who goes to theatres on week days)—Because there was no room for him in the family circle. • A story is told by Horace Walpole, of a Lord Mayor of Loudon, in his time who, having heard that a friend had the small-pox twice, and died of it, asked If he filed the first time or second. When Milton was blind he was mar ried to a shrew. Some ono told him she ‘ was a rose. “I am no judge, of colors ” said Milton, “and it may bo so, for I feel the thorns dally. ,f A doctor boastiug at dinner that he cured Ills own hams, one of his guests •remarked: . “Well, doc, I would sooner be your lam than your patient.” . “Twelve huudred dollars fora marei an’t be,” quoth Jones. * “Oh, UuiUtt -uayo Bmltlt. ‘Richard offered bis kingdom for a lorse, and no takers.” • In reply to a young writerwho wished to know which magazine would give him the highest position quickest, a oontom ! porary advised, "powder magazine, if you contribute a liery article." London Punch says, "In America a ■popular quotation has been altered to suit a peculiar habit of the people. Dry den’s familiar lino runs thus: ‘And whit- ■ tied as he went, for want of thought." A’woman who never owned a Bibio supposed she was quoting it when she greeted her sou, who came homo to keep Thanksgiving, in the following words: "Here comes the fatted calf." "You say the deceased settled hero.— What do you mean by settled ?" “Well, ho was born hqfo, got married hero, and they buried him hero, and if that wasn’t settling him, then I’m no judge.” • It dooa not follow Unit a man must bo born at Burking to become a puppy. If a man be a teetotaller, bo need not always be outr of spirits. Why was it a mistake to imagine that JtoDfnson Crushe's /aland was uninhabit ed? " ’ ' • • Because the very first thing he saw upon lauding was a great “swell” a pUchin''mto a little “cove” on the shore. A gentleman travelling on a steamer, one day at dinnerwas making way with a largo pudding close by, when told by a waiter that it was a dessert;"-. “It matters not to mo” said he; “I could eat it If it were a wl^erife/js.” A YoDNCr painter who was copying a celebrated painting in the Dresden gall ery, was asked by a travelling cockney what was done with the old pictures when the new ones were finished! “Gentlemen of tho jury,” said an Irish lawyer, “it will bo for you to say whetbei ibis defendant will bo allowed to come into court with unblushing foot steps, with the cloak of hypocrisy in his mouth, and to wire-draw three bullocks outof my client’s pockctwlth impunity.” Tub energetic, young man. who came to New York in quest of employment, and determined to seize the first thlbg that turned up, has been imprisoned by Justice dowliug, for pulling another man’s nose. The tenth part.—“Wohava possession, and possession Is nine points of tho law,” said a lawyer to his opponent. “And what is tho tenth part?” asked tho latter. “Disappointment, sir, and that’s a deal bigger than all the other points put to gether.” When Maclin hud established his fame in the character of Shylock, Georgo the Second went to sec him ; and thoimpres alon ho received was so powerful that it deprived hlmofrest throughoutthe night. In tho morning Sir Robert Walpole waited on the express ins fears that tho Commons would oppose a cer tain measure then in contemplation. — “I wish, your majesty,” said Sir Robert, “ittfero possible to find a recipe for frightening iho House of Commons!” “What do you think,” replied tho king, “of sending them to the theatre to see that Irishman play Shylock?” JOB PRINTING. iiojiffipAwiy; ( ' .
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers