®|)c 3.mcricnu llolnntccv.
1-IMIMrtIIKD EVERY THURSDAY MORNING*
lIY
EHtA/ETONT & ICISN’N'ICIDY.
orFICE-KOUTII 3IAUKET MdVAItE.
Tkums:—Two Dollars per year if paid sirletly
in advance; Two Dollars and Fifty Cents If paid
within three months; after which Three Dollars
will bo charged. These lerhis will bo rigidly ad
hered to In every Instance. No subscription dis
continued until all arrearages arc paid, unless at
he option of the Editor.
professional (Sams.
TAMES A. DUNBAR, ATCOIINBY AT
pj Daw, Carlisle, Penna. Olllco a feu doois
west of Hannon's Hotel.
Dec. 1,18115.
XOHN LEE, Attorney at Lav
pj North Hanover Street, Carlisle, Pa.,
t eb. 15,188(1 ly.
ITT KENNEDY Attorney at Law,
W (’urliale Penna. Olllco same as that of
t ho “American Volunteer, "Houth aide of the 1 ub-
Ilc Square.
pec. 1. 188
Me. HERMAN, Attorney AT Law.
, Otllco In Rhccm’s Hall llullding, 1“ the
rear of the Court House, next door to the iiei
nld M Ofllco, Carlisle, Penna.
Deo. 1,18(15.
TTI E. 3ELTZHOOVER, Attorney
|j , and CoussELOtt at Law, Carlisle, lenna.
Gilleo on South Hanover street, opposite Rent/, s
Rim e. Uy special arrangement with the 1 atom
Olllce, attends to seeuring Patent Rights.
Dec. 1,1885.
J. sr. WKAKI.IIV. W. I*. SAUT-KK.
& SADLER,
A TTOBSBYS A T LAW,
NO. in SOUTH HANOVER ST.
CAunisnic, Plnn’a.
Dec. Hi, 1R137. —ly
JOHN R. MIBLER, Attorney at
Ij.vw. Cilice In Hannon's Building, opposite
Ilia Court. House, C<trli.\lc t -Pd.
Nov. IJ, 18U7.
Adam keller, attorney at
IiAW, Carlisle. Olllco with W. M. Penrose,
ESii., Ilheem’s Hall.
October 3. ISo7—Gm*
IJNXTED STATES CLAIM
AND
REAL ESTATE AGENCY!
WM. B . BU T LEE,
ATTOUNIiV AT DAW’,
Ofllcc lu 2d Story of InholTs Building, No. 3 South
Hanover Street, Carlisle, Cumberland counij,
Pensions, Bounties, Bade Pay, &c., promptly
Applications by mall, will receive Immediate
attention gtuen to the selling or rent-
In-' of Real Estate, In town or country. In all let
lyivj of Inquiry, jjlouso enclose postage stamp.
July 11,18 H
/ IHAH. E. MAOLAUGHLIN, Attoh
tv nhv AT LAW. Ulliou In Iluliaing formerly
ticcupled by Volunteer, a few doors .South of Han
non's Hotel.
Dec. 1, ISGo.
roHN. C. GHAHAM, Attorney at
J r.AW. Olllco formerly occupied by Judge
tjrahum,.South Hanover street. Carlisle, Peimu.
Doc. 1, IStio —ly. .
DR. GEORGE S. SEARIGHT, Dun
nsr From the Baltimore Coltcr/e of Dental
.«•!/. Olllco at the residence of bis nndhei,
Past linuther Street, three doors below Iledloul,
i ‘arlisht, Ponua.
Dec. 1,18(15.
DR. J. R. BIXIVER offers bid profes-
Hlonal services to thccillr.cnsof Carlisle ami
'olllco 1 on Slain street, opposite the jail, in the
room lately occupied by E. Todd, Esq.
April 11,18U7— ly
gitoucs, dintoarc, &c.
J-' AM K S M'GOXId A Ij ,
■M.VNUrAtTI'mCU AND DKAI-KIl IN
STOVKS TIN AND WAUK,
.Smith IliinuvrrSt., AiljoinhujJitair & Xuh's (Jrocory.
CARLISLE
The subscriber tlmnkful fir past lii\ ou . r . -
sped fully Informs his friumls and the i ,l ‘ b ;| e '
Lfiiil he bus now uu band a largo supply of the
latest and best improved
COOK «"” 2 . AItLOI . srOVJ iS , „ , „„„
JIEA TURK find JtA IS GF.S.
In the Stove Department we desire to cull par
ticular attention to the following, comprising as
tbu.\ «to, thu vofj- Clonk nml Parlor Stoves
now in use •
NIMUUD,
QUAKER CITY.
EXCELSIOR. I’ENN,
NOLLE COOK,
■ N HUBIiUBIIAN.VA IUU\ IIIONSIDISS.
To speak at leimtli of the tllirercyit Btoy.ja wt.uul
occupy too much space, but we deem It. nctissa
ry to cull the attention ut the public to Hie
empire GAS BURNER-
Tl.ls truly womlcrful I’urlor and Cilice Stove
Is so constructed tbiit the cheapest duality ol
(•nut (Ltmebumur’K), cun bo used with success.—
It burns coutluuou.sly and the lire is easily Kin
dled. It is capable of heatup one room below
mid two rooms above. There is no dust and no
esrine of gas, and an actual saving ul coal, which
In two ur Utreu Kelsons will pay fur Uio aluve,
The Empire has many valuable (juallUes winch
can only’ be fully appreciated by seeing it in op
eration: SVc claim that Uis fur superior to any
other Stove now in use, and we feel satislied that
we can convince all who will favor us wlUi an
examination ol the Stove at our shop ol this part.
We have on hand a full assortment ol
TXNW A R E .
Repairing promptly attended to. Hoofing done
at the Shortest notice. Spouting Will bo put up
** l pjYs o* .5 l’v t•ii ’ ’ ’ 111 V No. Vll.^WuuUi’lliinover
suvoi, mijuiiii.iy uioir's
Sept. 111, ISGT —dm
rail-IE CARLISLE COOK STOVE,
fl manufactured at F. GARDNER It Co’a.
Poumlrv and Machine Shop, Carlisle, ciox't be beat.
This is the testimony of scores of families lu Cum
berland, Berry and Adams Counties, who are now
using them. Call and see them.
COHN SIIELLERS,
miming cither by power or by
on hand and for sale at 1 1 . GARDNER i CO S.
Foundry and Machine Shop, East Main bueet.
STEAM BOILER MAKING.
Wo are prepared to make Steam Boilers of all si
zes and kinds promptly and on the best terms.—
Also. SMOKE STACKS and all articles in that
line, •
REPAIRING 0E BOILERS
tuul ENGINES promptly fiLlcndcd to iu tho bust
miumcv i\t
F. GARDNER & CO’S.
Foundry and Machine Shop, Carlisle, I’a,
Feb. 7.1807.
MILLER & BOWERS,
SUCCKsBOKS TO
LEWIS F. LVNE,
North Hanover Hired, Carlisle, Pa
Dealers iu American, English and Gorman
• HARDWARE,
(Jutlery,
Saddlery.
Coach Trimmings,
Shoe Findings,
Morocco and Lining Skins,
Lasts,
800 l Trees
and Shoemaker Toi
of every description. Solid and Brass Box Ices,
Bellows Files, Hasps, Horae Shoes, Horse Shoe
Nulls. Bar and UollcdTron of all sizes.
HAMKS AND TRACES.
Carriage Springs, Axles, Spokes, Follows, Hubs,
Ac., Ac. Saws of every variety, Carpenters 1 ools
and Building Material, Table and Pocket Culleiy,
Plated Forks and Spoons, with un extensive as
sortment of Hardware of ail kinds and of the best
manufacture, which ■will be sold wholesale or re
tail at the lowest prices. Wc arc making great
improvements In our already heavy stock ol
goods, ami Invito all persons iu want of Hard
ware of every description to give us a call and wc
are coutldent you will bo well paid for your.trou-
that by strict attention to business and
a disposition to please all we will bo able to
maintain the reputation of the old stand.
MILLER A BOWERS.
Dec. 1,1805.
piPEB'S
BOOK AND FANCY STORE,
AND GENERAL NEWS DEPOT
33 "WEST MAIN STREET,
CAia.ism:, pa. •
A lino assortment of Goods on hand, such as
Writing Desks,
Port Folios,
Ladies Companions,
Work Boxes.
Satchels, .
Ladles’ Purses,
Pocket Books,
Scgav Cases,
Card Cases,
Gold Pens,
Pen Knives,
Ac., Ac.
A LARGE SUPPLY OF
FAMILY J3IRL.ES
timl PIIOTOOK APHIC AI.IiUMS
AT REDUCED PRICES.
DIARIES FOR 1867._
Subscriptions received for all Magazines, LusU
lon Rooks, Papers, Ac., at publishers prices. You
"save postage and always sure of receiving your
Magazines bj* subscribing at Pipku’h.
Special attention is paid to keeping always on
hand a supply of
SCHOOL BOOKS,
for town ami country Bdhools,
books ana Music ordered when desired,
BY BRATTON & KENNEDY.
jUclucal.
HOOFLABD’S (iEEMAiI BITTERS,
oofland’s German Tonic,
Prepared by Dr. C. M. Jackson,
PIIILADEM’II lA, PA.
The Groat Rembdios for all Diseases
LIVER, STOMACH, OR
DIGESTIVE ORGANS.
Hoofland’s German Bitters
la composed of the pure jnlcc-a (or, ns they are nu-ilicl*
rally termed. Ex j- -j ■ . trade) of RoutP,
Hcrliennd IJarks, TMIT----*ia ni!lkin ‘' r a piepara*
tlon, highly conccn 1 1* *r ,J jSf3 trated, mid entirely
free from Mcoholio Hb* ttdaia admixture 0/ any
kind.
HOOFLAND’S GERMAN TONIC,
la a combination of all the ingredients of the BUtcr*,
with the purest quality ol Santa Crut Hum, Orange,
etc., making one of the most pleasant ami agreeable
remedies over ollorcd to the public.
Those preferring a Medicine free from Alcoholic ad*
mixture, will übo
Hoofland’s German Bitters,
In cases of nervous depression, when some alcoholic
Stimulus la necessary,
HOOFLAND’S GERMAN TONIC
should bn used.
The Bitters or the Tonic are both equally good, and
ontoin tho same medicinal virtues.
The stomach, from a variety of causes, nucli ns indi
gestion, Dyspepsia, Ncrvons * Debility,
etc.. Is very apt to have Us functions
deranged. Tno result of which is, that tho
patient suffers from several or more of
the following diseases:
Constipation, Flatulence, Inward Piles,
Fulness of Blood to tho Head, Acidity
of tho Stomach, Nausea, Heart
hum, Disgust for'Food, Fulness
or Weight in tho Stomach,
Sour Eructations, Sink
ing or Fluttering at tho .Pit
of tho Stomach, Swimming of
the Head, Hurried or Difficult
Breathing, Fluttering at tho Heart,
Choking or Suffocating Sensations when
in a Lying Posture, Dimness ol* Vision,
Dots or Webs before tho Sight,
Dull Pain in the Head, Defi
ciency of Perspiration, Yel
lowness of tho Skin and
Eyes, ---77—' Pain in
tho Side, Back,Chest,
Limbs, etc., Sudden
Flushes of Heat, Burning;
in the Flesh, Constant Imaginings of Evil,
and Great Depression of Spirits.
These remedies will cllbctunlly euro Liver Complaint,
Jaundice, Dyspepsia, Chronic or KeryyUH Debility.
Chronic. Diarrha-a, Disease* of the kidneys, and all
Diseases arising from a Db-ordcred Liver, Stomach, or
Intestines.
I>IGI3IXsIXY,
Rfiaulting from any Oauso whatever;
TofclON OF THE SYSTEM,
induced by Sovoro Lahor, ±in.rd
ships, Exposure, Fevers, etc.
There is no medicine extant equal to these remedies
In such cases. A tone and vigor Is Imparted to tho
whole System, tho Appotftn Is Strength
ened, food is enjoyed. ‘TKtfji a tho fitomnch digests
promptly, thu blood JK? la purlllcd, tho com
plexion b 0 c 0 m 0 & telhAa sound and healthy,
the yellow tlngo Is eradicated from the eyes, a bloom
is given to the cheeks, and the weak and nervous in
valid becomes a strong and hcalthy^bcing.
Persons Advanced in Life t
And feeling lh» band of time weighing heavily upon
thorn, with all its attendant ills, will find In the use of
tills BITTERS, or tho TONIC, an elixir that will
Instil now life Inio their veins, restore In a measure
the energy and ardor of more youthful days, build up
their shrunken forms, and give health ana happiness
to their remaining years.
NOTICE.
It Is n well-established fact that fully one-half of the
female portion of our , population are sel
dom inthocifinymcnt of good health; or.
to use thelr'own wc |tj « predion,“neverfeel
well." They arc lan fr-iTfesraj guld, devoid of all
energy, extremely nervous, and have no appetite.
To this class of persons the BITTERS, or tho
TONIC, Is especially recommended.
WEAK AND DELICATE CHILDREN
Arc made strong by the use of eithcrof these remedies.
They will cure every case of MARASMUS, without
Thousands of certificates have accumulated in the
hands of the proprietor, but space will allow of the
publication of but a few. Those, It will bo observed
are men of note and of such standing that they musi
he bellowed.
TESTIMONIALS.
Hon. Geo. W. Woodward.
Chief Justice cfthl Supreme Court of Pa., writes
Philadelphia, March 10,1807.
“Ifind‘HooDand’s /S =a German Bitters’ b
a good tonic, useful /£|k In diseases of tin
digestive organs, and of great benefit li
cases of debility, and W* want of nervous ac
Uon in tho system. Yours truly,
GEO. W. WOODWARD."
Hon. James Thompson.
Judge of ihe Supreme Court of Pennsylvania.
Philadelphia, April 28,1600.
“I consider ‘Hoofland’s Gorman Bitters ’a valuable
medicine in casts of attacks of Indigestion or Dyspepsia.
I can certify this from my experience of it.
Yours, with respect,
JAMEB THOMPSON."
From Fev. Joseph H. Kennard, D. D.
Fatter of the Tenth Baptist Church, Philadelphia.
2>r. JaeJiton —Dear Sir: I liuvo been frequently re
quested to connect my name with recommendations
of dlOerent kinds of medicines, butregayding the prac
tice as out of ray ap r== proprialo sphere, 1
have In all cases do (| cllncd; but with a
clear proof in vari oua Instances and
particularly in my M own, family, of tho
usefulness of Dr. llooflund’s German Bitters, I depart
for onco from my usual course, to express my full
conviction that, /or general debility of the system, anti
especially for Liver Complaint , t< \s a safe and valuable
ln some cases it may full; hut usually, I
doubt not,' It will bo very beneficial to those who sufler
from tho above causes.
Yours, very respectfully,
J. H. KENNARD,
Eighth, below Coates St.
From Rev. E. D. Fendall,
Jttitlanl Editor Christian Chronicle, Philadelphia.
I liavo derived decided benefit from tlio übo of IXoof
land's Gorman Bitters, and feel It my privilege to re
commend tlicm as a most valuable tonic, to all wuoaro
Buffering from general debility or from diseases arising
from derangement of the liver. -Yours truly,
E. D. FENDALL.
CAUTION.
Hooflaud’s German Remedies arc.counterfeited. 800
that the signature of . °; ♦,?«
Is on the wrapper L |Efl bottle.
All others ore coun tei t e,t ', r
Prinrlnfll Ofllco uov' and .ManQinctory
«t diolno Htnro, No. ARCH SlrceC
Philadelphia,
OHABLEB M. EVANS,
German Dnigctot, Proprietor,
Formerly O. M. jaokbon &. Co.
Tor sole by' all Druggist* and Dealers la Medlciaci.
PRICES.
HooDand’s Berman Blllcre, per bottle J 1 OO
it u i‘ half dozen 600
Hoofland’fl Genuan Tonic, put up lu quart bottles, 1 80
per "bottle, or n half dozen for. 7 60
■■RST Do not forget to examine tvell tlio article yon
Troy, in order to got tie genuine.
Jau. 0, 18G3.-ly
oNihV x IjTttijK (<ii»vi:
It's only a little glove,
So ragged, and old, and Worn—
You scarce would stoop In your dally path
To look at the thing forlorn ;
You never would think by those lingers small
A heart could bo rent and torn.
It’s only a tiny thing,
This treasure I hoard and keep ;
lint many a vision of Joy It brings,
And sometimes it makes mo weep,
And I dream a dream of a falv-hulr’d boy
Under the llowcrs asleep.
It’s only a little glove,
Yet dearer Is It to me,
l*or the restless foot that pattered and beat
Their music upon my knees—
nearer for sorrow, and care and pain
Than the riches of land or sea.
It's only a tiny thing,
Hut I love it Willi deepest love
A golden link in that chain that hinds
My soul to the world above ;
And know I am nearer to heaven each lime
I bow o'er that tiny glove.
HISSINii HER HAUL
iiv ciiAur.i-.-i Ai.riKUNos- swrsruTusi
Kissing her hair, I sat against her foot;
Wove and unwove it—wound, and found It
sweet;
Miulo fast therewith her hands, drew down her
eyes,
Deep as deep Lowers, and dreamy like dim
skies;
With her own trcssosbomul.aud found her fair—
Kissing her hair.
Sleep was no sweeter than her lace to me
Sloop of cold sea-bloom under the cold soiv;
What pain could got between my face and hers?
What new sweet thing would Love nut relish
worse ?
Unless, perhaps, while death hud kissed mo
there—
Kissed her hair.
A 15IJT IBS* Tiff E Chorus,
A KTOUY rou MABUIHD FOLKS.
Andrew Leo came home from his shop
where lie hud worked nil day, tired and
out of spirits ; came home to his wile,
who was also tired and out ol spirits.
“ A smiling wife and a cheerful homo
—a paradise it would lie!” said Andrew
to himself, as lie turned his eyes from tho
clouded face of Mrs. Bee, and sat down
with knitted brows and moody aspect.
Not a word was spoken by either. Mrs.
Bee was getting supper, and she moved
about with a weary step. “Come,” she
said at last, with a side glance at her hus
band. ’
Andrew arose and wont to the table.—
Ho was tempted to speak an angry word,
but controlled himself and kept silent. —
He could liml no fault with the chop nor
tho home-made bread, nor tho iragrant
tea. They would have cheered his in
ward man, if there had been any gleam
of sunshine on the l:\ce ot his wile. He
noticed she did not eat.
“ .\re yon not well .Mary ?” Thu words
were on ids lips, but lie did not utter
them, for tlie face of ids wife looked so
repellent, that lie feared an irritating rc-
* \nd f*o in moody siienuu, the twain sat
together until Andrew had finished bis
supper. . , , , ~
As he pushed ids chair back, his wife
Urune uml doimui'iicml clearing oil* t.lio til-
“ This is pulsatory,” said -Lee to him
«o!f ns ho commenced walking tho lloor
of their little breakfast room, with his
hands thrustdown into his browsers pock
els, and his chin almost touching his
breast. .
After removing all the dishes ami ta
king them into the kitchen, Mis. Lee
spread a green cover on the table, and
placing a fresh trlmed lamp thereon,
went out and shut the door after her,
leavim r her husband alone with unpleas
ant footings. He took a long deep breath
as lie did so, pausing in his walk, stood
still for some moments, and then draw
ino a paper from his pocket, sat down by
the table, opened the sheet, and com
menced reading. Singularly enough, the
words upon which his eyes rested were
“ Prai-e vour wife." They rather tended
to increase the disturbance of mind.from
from Which lie was aullering.
1 I should like to lllnl some occasion
for praising mine.” How quickly hw
thoimlits expressed that ill-natuiod sen 11-
mont. But his eyes were on the page be
fore him, and he read on ; " Praise your
wife man ; for pity's sake give her a little
encouragement. It won’t hurt her.
Andrew Lee raised his eyes from the
paper unci muttered : *' Ob, yea that s all
very well, praise is cheap enough. But
prise her for what? For being sullen,
and making her home the most dis
agreeable place iu tho world? His eyes
fell again on tho paper.
“ She has made your homo comfortable,
your hearth brlglitnndshinlng, your food
agreeable; for pity’s sake tell her you
thank her, if nothing more. She don L
expect it; it will make her eyes open
wider than they have for twenty years :
but it will do her good for all that, and
you, too.” , .
It seemed to Andrew as if this sentence
was written just for the occasion. It was
a complete answer to his question—
“ Praise her for what?” and he felt it al
so a rebuke. He read no further, for
thought came too busy in a new direction.
Memory was convicting him of injustice
to his wife. She had always made hia
home as comfortable for him as her hands
could make it, and had he offered the
light return of praise or commoiulatmn I
Hud he ever told her of the satisiaction
he had known, or the comfort ho had ex
perienced ? He was not able to recall the
time or occasion. As he thought thus,
Mrs. Lee came in from the kitchen,
and taking her work basket from the
‘closet, placed it on the table, and sitting
down without speaking, began to bow.—
Mr Tjco glanced almost stealthily at the
work in her hands, and saw the bosom or
a shirt, which she was stitching neatly.
Ho knew that it was for him that she was
“Gratae your wife.” The words were
before the eyes of ids mind, and ho could
not look away fi*>m them. But lie w4s
not ready for this yet. He still felt moody
and unforgiving. The expression of his
wife’s face he interpreted to mean ill-ua
ture for which he had no patience, liis
eyes fell upon the newspaper which Jay
•Spread out before him, anil he read the
sentence: “A kind, cheerful word spo- |
ken In a gloomy house, is the little rift |
in the cloud that lets the sunshine :
through.”
Lec° struggled with himself a while
longer. His own ill-nature had to bo
conquered first; his moody accusing spu
it had to be subdued. He thought of
many things to say, yet he feared to say
them lest his wife should meet his ad
dress with a cold rebuff. At last, lean
ing toward her and taking hold of the
'Shirt bosom upon which she WttS at work,
ho said in a voice carefully modulated
with kindness:
“ You are doing the work beautifully,
Mary." , , . , .
Mrs. Lee made no reply ; but her hus
band did not fail to notice that she lost
almost instantly that rigid erecluess with
which she had been sitting, nor {hat the
motion of her needle had ceased.
” My shirts are hotter made and winter
than those of any oilier man in the shop,"
said Lee, encouraged to go on.
“Are they?” ......
Mrs. Leo’s voice was low, and had m it
a slight huskiness. She did not turn her
face, hut her husband saw she leaned a lit
tle toward him. lie-had' broken the ice
of reserve and all was easy now. His
•hand was among the olouds and a feeble
ray was .already straggling through the
1 rift It had made,
CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, JANUARY 30. 1868,
“Yes, Mnry,” he iuiswerod.softly; “and
I've heard it more than once, what a good
wife undrew Leo must have."
Mrs. Lee turned iier face toward her
husband. ,
There was light in it, and light in her
oyo. Hut there was something In the ex
pression of the countenance that a little
puzzled him. . , , ,
“ Do you think so?” she asked, quite
soberly. , ~ . . ,
“ What a question!” ejaculated Andrew
Lee starting up and going round to the
side of the table where bis wife was sit
ting. “ AVhat a question Mnry!” ho re
peated, as he stood beside her.
“Do you?” It was all she said.
“ Yes, darling,” was his warmly spok
en answer, and he stooped down and kiss
ed her. “ How strange that you should
ask me such a question !”
“ If you would only tell me so now and
then, Andrew, it would do mo good.”—
Mrs. Lee arose, and leaning her face
against the manly breast of her husband,
stood ami wept. A 1
'What a strong light broke in upon the
mind of Andrew Lee. He had never
given Ills wife oven the small reward of
praise for the loving interest she had
manifested dally, until doubt of love had
entered her soul. No wonder that her
face grew clouded, nor what he consider
ed moodiness and ill-nature, took posses
sion of her spirit.
“ You are good and true, Mary, my own
dear wife; lam proud of you—l love
you, and my first desire is for your happi
ness. O, if I could always see your face
in sunshine, my homo would be the dear
est place on earth.”
“ How precious to mo are your words
of lovo and praise, Andrew,” said Mrs.
Leo, smiling up through her tears into his
face. “ With them in my cars, my heart
can never lie in a shadow.”
How easy bad been tbo work for An
drew Lee. He had swept his band across
the cloudy horizon, and now the bright
sunshine was streaming down and Hood-,
ing that home with joy and beauty.
Gymnastic Exercises for Women.
The general utility of gymnastic exer
cises will bo questioned only by those
who are not aware that the health and
vigor of all the bodily organs depend on
the pqoportioned exercise of each. They
insure in particular the development of
all the locomotive organs, and they pre
vent or correct tho deformities to which
tlioMo orffnno nvo Jiablo.' Tllpy are best
calculated to produce strength and activi
ty, and to bestow invariable health.—
They at the same time confer beauty of
form, andthey contribute to impart an
elegant air and graceful manner.
Multitudes of ladies of the present day
are suffering from neuralgia, headache
and dyspepsia, on account of the failure to
take needful exercise. Prior to the open-
ing of the gymnasium in this time, it was
dilUcult to lind a remedy for this failure.
Ladles did not obtain the requisite
amount of exercise, because the range of
exercises possible to them was extremely
limited. There is no peculiarity of Hul
ley’s system so deservingof praisoas that
it is so admirably adapted to the wants of
women. Ruskin, when describing tho
kind of education whlch.would fit women
for the very high and influential position
he is anxious they should occupy, spoke
as follows: “Tho first of our duties to
her— no thoughtful person now doubts
tins-—is to secure for her such physical
training ami exercise as may con Arm
her health and perfect her beauty, the
highest radii oment of that beauty be
ing unattainable without splendor of ac
tivity and of delicate strength.”
That kind of exercise should be first
practiced which will call into action those
parts of the system most defective in
their development. As the only exer
cise of most persons is ordinary walking,
which alone is qui to Insulllcieut to expand
the chest—abnormally small—ill-formed
chests are almost the rule ; and diseases
of the lungs are most fatal affections of
\this country. Now, although it would
not bo correct to place those last facts al
ways in the relation of cause and effect,
.still there is no doubt that they are very
frequently thus related, and it is certain
that tubercular diseases would very
much decrease if only some pains were
taken to exercise the lungs, and jirovido
for their free action by strengthening the
muscles of respiration and expanding the
chamber in which they work.
Little Tin-vys.—The preuiousnesa of
little things was never more beautifully
expressed than in the following moreean :
“Little marlain boxes nflioinea are gener
ally thomost happyaml cosy ; little villa
ges are nearer to being atoms oi a shattered
paradise than any thing we know of ; and
little fortunes bring tiro most content,
and littlu hopes the least disappointment.
Little words are the sweetest to hear ; lit
tle charities lly farthest and slay longest
on the wind ; little lakes are the stillest,
little hearts the fullest, and little tanas
the best tilled. Little books are the most
read, and little songs the most loved.—
And when nature would make anything
especially rare and beautiful. She makes
it little—little pearls, little diamonds, lit
tludews. Everybody calls that little that
they love best on earth. Wo once beard
a good sort of a man speak of his little
wife, and wo fanciced that she must be a
perfect bijon of a wife. Wo saw her, and
she weighed 210 ; wc were surprised.
But then it wiis no joke ; the man meant
It He could put hiswifein his heart am
have room for other things beside and
what was she but little. Multum in Par-
VO— much in little—is the great beau ty of
all wo love best, hope for most, and re
member the longest.”
A Western Juppe.— I The Hon. Benja
min Tappan, oneo a Senator from Ohio,
was on the bench when the Buckeye
State was admitted into the Union. Ho
was famous in his time for being very ug
ly. very talented, and very cross eyed,
crabbed and sarcastic. On one occasion,
he was holding court in the wilderness,
when one logcabin had to be used for
court house, tavern and bar room, iho
stable near by was used fora tail, the
judge bad just given some malefactors a
very severe sentence, when a rough
backwoodsman, who had been practicing
at the other bar, exclaimed :
“That's right; give urn thunder, old
ei ”’\Vpo y ig\l,at ?" screamed the irate and
Indignant judge. , ~
“It’s this old boss,” answered the pio
neer giving his breast an approving slap.
“Mr. Sheriff,” retorted Tappan, “put
that old boss in the stable, and keep him
a week on bread and water.”
nay A beautiful Parisian girl called on
a lawyer of that city noted for hissagaci
tv to learn how she could compel a cer
ta u gentlemen, with whom she had fal
len in love, to marry her whether or no.
“You must contrive to remain alone
with him Mademolssello,-three times,
and fifteen minutes each time, and have
good proof of the fact," said the lawyer.
“ Very well, Monsieur,” replied the gnl.
She culled twice more on the lawyer, re
maining alone with him above twenty
minutes on each occasion, and at the
close of the lost interview informed the
astonished man that he was the person
she was after, and that she had her wit
nesses all on hand in theontry. He mar
ried her and was happy.
6135“ As a weary traveller was wending
his way through Hie far West region of
the country, ho discovered a young mai
den seated in front of a small log house.
He rode up in frontof the cabin ahd ask
ed the girl for a drink of water. He drank
it, and she being the lirst woman he had
seen for several days, offered a dime lor n
kiss. The young maiden accepted the
oiler, and received both the kiss and the
dime. The traveller was about to r ™ u , m ®
his journey, but the girl
having scon a dune, asked -what am
Ito do with the dime'?” \oumaj use
it in any way you wish,” he replied, it
is yours.” “If that is the case, said
she, “I’ll give you back the dime and
take another kiss,”
Daniel Webster and Jenny I.lml,
Jenny Lind gave a concert at Wash
ington during the session of Congress,
and ns a mark of her respect, and a view
to tho cctof, sent polite invitations to the
President, Mr. Filmoro, tho members of
the Cabinet, Mr. Clay, and many other
distinguished members of both Houses
of Congress. It happened that on that
day several members of the Cabinet and
Senate were dining with Mr. Bodisco,
tho Russian Minister. His good dinner
and choice wines had kept the party so
late, that the concert was nearly over
when Webster, Oiay, Crittenden and
others came in; whether from tho hurry
in which they came, or from the heat of
the room, their faces were a] little Hush
ed, and they nil looked somewhat flurri
ed.
After the applause with which these
gentlemen had been received had subsi
ded, and silence once more restored,»the
second part of the concert was opened by,
Jenny Lind, with “Hail Columbia.”
This toqk place during the height of
the debate and excitement of the slavery
question, and the compromise resolutions
of Mr. Olay ; and this patriotic air, us a
part of the programme, was considered
peculiarly appropriate at a concert, where
tho head of the Government, and a large
number of both brandies of the legisla
tive department, were present. At tho
close of the first verse, Webster’s patriot
ism boiled over; ho could staud it no
longer; and rising like Olympian Jove,
he added his deep, sonorous bass voice
to the chorus; and I venture to say, that
never in the whole course of her career,
did she ever hear or receive one-Imlf of
the applause as that, with which her song
and Webster's chorus was greeted.
Mrs. Webster who sat immediately
behind him, kept tugging at his coat-tail
to make him sit down or >top singing,
but it was of no earthly use—and at tho
close of each verse, Webster joined in,
and it was hard to say whether Jenny
Llmi, Webster, or the audience were the
most delighted. I have seen Rublni,
Lnblache, and the two Grisis, on the
stage at one time, but such a happy con
junction in the national air of “ Hail
Columbia,” as Jenny Lind’s tenor and
Daniel Webster’s bass, we shall never
see or hear again.
At the close of the air, Mr. Webster
rose with his hat. in hand, mid made her
such a bow as Chesterfield would have
deemed a fortune for his son, and which
eclipsed D’Orsay’s best. Jenny Lind,
blushing at tho distinguished honor,
courlealed to the floor ; the audience ap
plauded to the very echo; Webster de
termined not to be outdone in politeness,
bowed again ; Mias Lind recourtesied, the
house reapplauded, and this was repeated
nine times, or “ I’m a villain else.”
I have seen Niagaraand Taglioni, Mars
and Mnllbran; I have walked through
the ruins at Paestum and the Cullisrieum
by moonlight; crossed the Memii Bridge
and tho Thames Tunnel, but never while
memory lasts will this scene fade away.
Being something of a .wag, and deem
ing tills too good to bo lost,tlie next day it
was currently reported thatßarnum had
engaged Mr. Clay and Mr. Webster to ac
company Miss Lind and himself as far as
Richmond, mid assist her at her concert.
For some days nothing but Miss Lind's
concert, and the report about Clay and
Webster, was talked of about the capitol.
A few days after this I was sitting in
the Congressional post office, when a
member came in, with whom I had al
ways been on friendly terms, and to my
unusual very cordial “Good morning,”
the gentleman, with lips closely com
pressed, pale as a shirt, and clipping his
words very shortly, replied in a sort of
staccato style. “ Good morning sir. Can
I have ft word with you in fhdvaUsV
Heaven defend mo from a challenge,
thought I. Still, never dreaminguhow I
could have incurred the gentleman’s dis
pleasure, I replied very politely, “With
pleasure.” After leading mo some dis
tance through the crooked passages of
the Capitol, he stopped shortaud looking
me full in the face, and seemingly as anx
ious for a light as a bull terrier, he began :
“ Understand, sir, that a most insuit
ing report has been very extensively cir
culated in this city, about two of the
most distinguished men of my party,
and I have heard from more than one
source that you are the author. My ob
ject, sir, is to know whether you are the
author, and if so whether you hold our
sell responsible.” Being still in the
dark, and utterly unable to comorehend
the drift of bis remark, I replied : “ Sir,
I do not know what you are talking
about; you will be pleased to speak
somewhat more intelligibly.” “ Well,
sir,” said he, his color rising at my cool
ness, “ I have learned from the most un
questionable authority, that yon have
said that Barnum bad engaged Mr. Clay
ami Mr. Webster to accompany and as
sist Jenny Lind at her concerts in Rich-
niond.” , , .
I never was so usually divided between
an inclination to laugh outright and to
get vexed ; and hesitate a moment weth
er I should abuse him for his stupidity,
or laugh in his face, it occurred to me
that if ho could swallow so much, his
credulity was capacious enough to digest
much more. compressing my lips,
and trying to look as tierce us possible, I
said iu the same staccato tone, of voice
in which he had spoken, “ Yes, sir, I am
responsible for that report, and I reckon
I have seen the contract.” lily young
opponent’s jaws fell, and speaking in his
usual natural drawl, ho bowed po-itely,
and evidently with feelings of great dis
appointment at not being able to get a
figiit, “I beg your pardon, sir, I was not
aware that you had seen the contract.”
I do not know whether ho ever told
any one, or whether his friends let him
into the secret of my disposition as a wag, ■
but certain it was, for some time when
ever ho saw mo on the one side of Penn
sylvania avenue, be always had some bu
siness on the other. .
I told the joke to Mr. Webster, at his
own house, before the nomination of the
Whig party was made, ami ventured to
suggest to him that when lie was elected
President, he ought to confer some office
on the man who was willing to tight for
him ami the honor of his party. Ale as
sured me that, if elected, the claims of
this gent'eman should not be forgotten.
• Coicmpovciry in Southern Society.
(VST Perhaps the beat pun of this gen
eration of lawyers was made by Hold
Colonsay. A shoemaker of Aberdeen, in
Scotland, had come into a fortune, after
having fallen into several- misfortunes,
chiefly from feminine causes. He sough t
to divorce his wife, and she sought to di
vorce him, and in the various suits
if’ooo or £3,000 was spent. Lord Dons,
during a dispute about the wife’s expen
ses asked, " How would this shoemaker
have got justice if he hud been obliged to
stick to his last?” The Lord President
instantly remarked, “Ho would have
been required to spend his awl."
Storm Signs.—lt’s a sign of a storm,
to tread on anybody’s toe that inis corns.
It’sasignof astorm, if you waken the
baby on a wash day.
It’s a sign of a storm, to call a baby ug
ly in presence of its mother.
It’s a sign of a storm, to start a yarn
about your neighbor at an alo house, and
some one runs and tells.
It's a sign of astorm, to spit on the par
lor carpet and your wife sees it.
It's a sign of a storm, to speak ill of
your wife’s relations.
It ? s a sign of a storm, to tell your wife
she looks horrid in that last new bonnet.
tall, keen-eyed countryman
walked into the court room during the
progress of a trial. Stepping up to one of
the “ring,” he requsted that the prison
ers might be pointed out to him. Iho
lawyer he accosted being somewhat of a
wag, pointed to the jury. The stranger
surveyed them critically, when turning
to his informer he remarked: “'Veil
they are a hard looking set, ain tthey ? I
know by their looks they ought to go to
State’s rrlson, every one of them I”
A HE.VVTIFUIi STORY.
“A cheerful word of sympathy
May scatter clouds away,
One little act performed In life
Turns darkness Into day.”
On a warm summer afternoon a lazy
breeze stole through the windows of a
little hot district school house, lifting the
white curtains, ami rustling the leaves
of the copy books that lay open on the
desks. Thirty or forty scholars of all
ages were bending over their writing,
quiet and busy ; the voice of. the master,
as ho passed about among the writers,
was the only sound. lint though silent,
this little hot school room has its heroes
and heroines as certainly ns the wider
sphere of life.'
The bell wrings for the writing to bo
laid by ; and now comes the last exercise
of the day, the spelling, in which nearly
all tho school joined. At the head of the
class is a delicate little girl, in a blue
dress, whoso bright eyes and attentive
air show that she prizes her place and
means to keep it.
Presently a word, which had passed all
the lower end of the class, came to Eu
nice. The word was privilege. “ P-r-i-v,
priv—i, privi—lege, privilege,” spelled
Eunice. Hut tho teacher, vexed with
the mistake at tho other end of tho class,
misunderstood her, and passed it. The
little girl looked amazed ; tho bright col
or came into her cheeks, and she listened
eagerly to the next person, who spelled
it as she had done.
“ Right,” said the teacher;
place.”
“ I spelled it so f ” whispered Eunice to
herself, tears springing to her eyes as
she passed down. Hut, too timid to
speak to tho master, she remained in her
place, inwardly determined to get up ;
again. 1
But her trials were not over. Many ex
pedients were tried in the school to keep
out the arch enemy of all schools—whis
pering. At length tho following was
adopted: The first whisperer was stood
upon the floor in front of the teacher’s
desk. Hero ho acted as monitor; os ho
detected another ho tpok his seat, and
tho next offender kept a sharp look-out
to find some one to take his place; for at
the close of the school, the scholar who ,
had the whisperer’s place was punished
very severely—as the school phrase was,
“took a feruling!” This plan appeared
to operate very well, every one dreading
being found the last on tho floor- but
though it secured an orderly school,
many of tho parents and scholars doubt
ed its justice.
Tho boy who was on the floor when
Eunice lost hortplacc, was an unruly,
surly fellow ; who had smarted for his '
faults often before ; and as school drew
near its close ho began to tremble. The
instant Eunice’s whispered complaint
reached his ear, his face brightened up;
lie was safe now. And when tho class
was dismissed, he said, “ Emiic whis
pered, sir.”
Eunice rose, and in a trembling voice re
lated what she had said ; but tho teacher
saw no excuse in it, and she was called
to take the place of the ungenerous boy
who told on her.
Hooks had been put awaj’, and tho
waiting school looked on in "sorrowful-:
ness as Eunice left her scat to lake tho
dreaded punishment. She was one- of
the best scholars, bright, faithful, sweet
tempered, a general favorite. Every
one felt that it was unjust, and many
angry glances were at the boy who was
mean enough to get a little girl whipped.
Overcome with shame ami fear she stood
up by tho desk, crying bitterly, while
the teacher was preparing to inflict the
punishment.
At this moment a tall boy stepped out
of his seat, and going to the desk, said :
” Are you going to whip Eunice, sir ?”
“ Yes, I never break my rules,” tho
teacher said. _ *
“ We will not see her whipped !” said
the boy, in an excited voice. “There
is not a boy hero, but one, that would see
her whipped. Whip me, sir, and keep
your rule if b-it don’t touch
that little girl.”
The master paused ; the school looked
on tearfully.
“ Do you mean to say that you will
take the punishment?” asked the teach
er.
*• 1 do, sir,” was the bold reply.
The sobbing little girl was sent to her
seat, and without flinching, her friend
stood and received the punishment that
was to have fallen on her. The school
was dismissed, and the boys paid him in
admiration and praise for all ho had suf
fered, while thognitoful little ghi blessed
him from her heart for a noble and gen
erous boy, who had saved her from the
greatest shame ami suffering.
T >aid the little school hud its heroes,
and this was one of them. Do you think
this conduct admirable?
Now for the moral.
The punishment received by this noble
boy was Christ-like ; it was one of Holler
ing from his own free will the punish
ment that was to have been borne by an
other.
You see—do you not —that this Is just
what Christ did, who bore our sin in His
own body, on the tree—the Saviour of
men. How great the gratitude each of
us owes such a friend.
PUAYI3U IN Cou«t.—Judge R re- •
kites the following incident as occurring
in the course of his practice:
Pie was trying a petty case, in which
one of the party was not able to pay coun
sel fees, and undertook to plead his own
cause ; but he found In the course of the
trial that the keen and adroit attorney
who managed the case for the other par
ty was to much for him in legal strategy,
evidently making the worst appear the
bettercause. The poor mini, Mr. A ,
was in a state of mind bordering upon
desperation, when the opposing counsel
closed hia plea, and the case was about to
be submitted to the justice for decision.
“ May it please your honor,” said the
naan. “May I pray?" , t ,
The Judge was taken somewhat by
surprise, and could only say ho saw no
objection. Whereupon Mr. A went
down upon hia knees, and made a fervent
prayer, iu which he laid the merits of
the case before the Lord in a very clear
ami methodical statement of all the par
ticulars, pleading that right and justice
<ptev»il.
Lord! thou knowest that the lawyer
has misrepresented the facts, and Thou
knowest that it is so and no—to the end
of the chapter.
Arguments which he could not present
in logical array to the understanding of
men, he had no difficulty in address
lag to the Lord, boing evidently better
versed in praying tbau pettifogging.
When lie arose from his knees, Lsqutro
\V , tile opposing counsel, very
much cxasjierated by the turn affairs had
taken, said:
“ Mr. Justice, does not the closing argu
ment belong to me?”
To which the'Judge replied :
“You can close with prayer If you
please?” . ' . . r
Esquire \V was m the habit of
pravlng at home, but not seeing the pro
priety of connecting his prayer with Ins
practice, wisely forebore, leaving poor
A to win his case, as ho did, by tins
novel mode of presenting it.
CST A thrifty farmer, who “believes In
making old things last in these times ,
says : “There is one thing that nearly
everybody knows and hardly anybody at
tends to, that is to sprinkle slacked lime
on their roofs once a year, either in fall or
spring. If the shingles are covered evgr
so thick with im»s, the lime soon, c ears
It oil leaving the roof clean and white,
and good fora dozen years longer. It
ought to be put on pretty thick, and a
rainy dav is best for the work. .Strong
wood ashes will answer almost as well to
keep roofs in repair, but they will not look
as nice. To make new shingles last thice
or four times the usual period, they need
only to bo soaked a few days m a tank
half fullof thick liiue wider, which must
bo stirred up well before the shingles are
putln."
VOL. 54.—N0. 33
Tin: LovEii AM) run uisiuni).
In his “Dream of Life” Ike Marvel
thus sketches, in a pleasant vein, and
with those self-conceited, humanizing
incidents which have over gained the
laughter and good will of the world, the
lover and the newly married man :
You grow unusually amiable and kind ;
you are in earnest in your search for
friends; you shake hands with your of
fice boy as if he weroyoursecond cousin.
You joke cheerfully with your washer
woman, and give her a shilling over
change, and insist upon Iter keeping-it.
You tap your hack man on the shoulder
very familiarly; you tell him he is a capital
fellow, and you don’t allow him to whip
his horses, except when driving to the
postolllce. You even ask him to take a
glass of beer with you on some chilly
evening. You drink to the health of his
wife, whereupon you drink him a very
miserable man, and give him a dollar by
way of consolation.
You think that all the editorials in the
morning papers are remarkably well
written, whether upon yourside or upon
another. You think the stock marke t
hua a very choorful* Inolc, with Eric, of
which you arc a largo holder, down in
seventy-five. You wonder why you
never admired Mrs. Homans before, or
{Stoddard, or any of the rest.
You give a pleasant twirl of your fin
gers as you shunter along the street, and
—say but not so loud as to bo overheard—
“ She is mine I is mine!”
You wonder if Frank ever loved Nelly
None-half as well as you love Madge
You fell quite sure ho never did. You
can hardly conceive how it is that Madge
has not been seized before now by scores
of enamored men, and borne off, like the
Sabine woman in roman history. Yon
chuckle over your future like a boy who
has found a guinea In groping for six
pence. You read over the marriage ser
vice, thinking of the time when yon will
take her hand and slip the ring upon her
finger, and repeat after the clergyman,
“ for richer, for poorer, for better, for
worse?” A great deal of “worse”
there will bo about it, you think L
Through all, your heart clings to that
one sweet image of the beloved Madge,
as light cleaves to day. The weeks leap
up with a bound; and the months only
grow long when you approach that day
that is to make her yours. There are no
flowers rare enough to make bnquuls for
ner, diamonds are too dim for her to
wear; pearls are tame!
And after marriage the weeks arc even
shorter than before ; you wonder why on
earth all the single men in the world do
not rush tumultuously to the altar. You
look upon them all as a traveled man
would look upon some conceited
boor, who has never been beyond the
limit of his cabbage garden. Married
men, on the contrary, you regard as fol
low voyagers, and look upon their wives
—ugly as they may be—as better 'than
none.
“ take your
You blush a little at first tolling your
butcher what "your wife” would like;
your bargain with the grocer for sugars
ami teas, and wonder if lie knows you
are a married man. You practice your
new way of talking upon your office boy ;
you tell him that "your wife” expects
him to dinner, and are astonished Unit
he does not stare at yon to hear vou say
it.
You wonder if the people in the omni
bus know that you and Madge are just
married ; and if the driver knows the
shilling you hand him is for “ self and
wife ? You wonder if anybody was ever
ho happy before, or ever will be so happy
again ?
You cuter your name upon the Hotel
book as Clarence aud lady j and
come back to look -at it, wondering U‘
anybody else had noticed it, and think
ing that it looks remarkably well. You
cannot help thinking that every third
man you meet in the hall wishes lie pos
sessed your wife—nor do you think it
very sinful in him to wish it. You fear
it is placing temptation in the way of
coveteoua men to put Madge's little gai
ter outside the chamber door at night.
Your homo, when it is entered, is just
what it should be—quite small, with eve
rything she wishes. The sun strikes
it in the happiest possible way, the pi
ano is the sweetest toned in the world,
the library is stocked to a charm, and
Madge—that blessed wife—is there, adorn
ing and giving life to it all. To think,
even, of her possible death is a suffering
you class with the tortures of the Inqui
sition. You grow twain of heart and
purpose. ,Smiles seem made of marriage
wonder how you were one bo
fore.
AKctil 1 Ol’r-JJuoit Dun.—Thu Toledo
i'o.iunci'tjiut publishes a letter writ U-n by
oho (■!’ Uu! lute telegraphic expedition to
Siberia. The writer says :
“ You way you cannot imagine how we
live in such u climate. 1 couldn't until
I tried it. I didn’t believe that it would
I be possible for mo to lay out in the snow
1 without shelter in a temperature of even
twenty below zero, but I have done it
once In fifty below, and repeatedly in
forty-five. One of Bush’s parties, in Feb
ruary of this year, passed the night on
an open barren steppe, with their spirit
thermometer standing sixty-eight below
zero, or a hundred degrees below the
• freezing point. Quicksilver they mould
ed into solid bullets with four minutes’
exposure to the air. It is true they didn’t
dare to go to sleep that night, but 1 be
lieve that, hud they been properly fitted
out with heavy furs-and wolf-skin sleep
ing bags to tie up tightly over their heads,
they might have done It with perfect
safety. lam afraid thatyou would think
that I was availing myself of atraveller’a
privilege, and relating a very tough yarn,
if I told you how comfortably I have
slept on snow in temperatur- s of thirty
live, forty, and forty-live degrees below.
\\ r e are obliged to sleep In fur bags of
course, with our faces barely covered, and
to take the utmost care to have our fur
stockings perfectly dry ; but I have slept
in that way through the Jong' Arctic
nights as comfortable as ever I did in a
bed at home. From September,
until I came aboard-the Onward a few
weeks ago, I never slept in a bed or on
anything softer than the snow or board.
So you can imagine that the sensation
was a curious one.
Juffhuson's Fidui.e.—The wife of
Thomas Jefferson was Mrs. Martha Skel
ton, a rich widow, twenty-three at her
second nuptials. She wasof good family,
beautiful, accomplished ami greatly ad
mired. The story wont that two, among
tlie many suitors for her hand, going sev
erally to her house on the same errand to
learn their fate from her decision, met in
the hall, where they heard her playing on
the harpsichord and singingalovusong, ac
companied by Jefferson's voice and violin
Something in the song or the manner of
tire singing satisfied both wooers ol lire
folly'of their hopes, and they withdrew.
Tile statesman was fond of his violin.
When ins paternal home was burned Ire
asked, "Are all the hooks destroyed?"
“ Vcs, inassa," was the reply, “dey is; hut
we saved de fiddle.”— Queens of Anvri
can Soaicli/.
IV BKAUTirur. li.i.cstuatio.v.—ft is
said of the Icelanders, that they scrupu
lously observe the usage of rending the
sacred Scriptures every morning, the
whole family joining in the singing and
prayers. When the Icelander awakes,
he salutes no person until he has saluted
his God. He usually hastens to the door,
adores there the author of nature and
providence, and then steps back, saying
to his family, “ God grant you a good
day,” What a beautiful Illustration is
this of the Christian obligation on the
part of households to recognize and wor
ship God.
11)31" “ Neighbor, what is the Christian
news this morning?” said a gentleman to
his friend. “ 1 have just bought a barrel
of flour for a poor woman. “Just like
vou. Who is it that you have made hap
py by your charity this time? ”My
wife/’
Kates for 2U)ucrttsing
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per lino for Ibo first Insertion, and five cents
per lino for each subsequent insertion. Quar
terly, half-yearly, and yearly advertisement* in
serted at a liberal reduction on the above rates.
Advertisements should bo accompanied by tbo
Casij. When sent without any length of tlmo
specified for publication, they will be continued
until ordered out and charged accordingly.
JOB PRINTING.
Caudh, IIANDIUM.S, CiucuLAiw, and «YOiy oth
er description 0/ Jon and L’akd Printing execu
ted lu the neatest style, at low prices.
ODDS AND ENDS,
—What gentleman can, with any sense
of propriety, ask a fnt woman to lean on
his arm.
—An architect proposes to build a
“Bachelor’s Hall,” which will differ
from most houses, In having no lives.
—How to take a census of the children
of a neighbor—employ an organ grinder
about live minutes.
—What is the difference between-an
educator and a wife? One sets articles
to rights and the other writes articles to
set.
—Some wretch of an editor says that
another twist to the present mode of “do
ing up” the ladies’ hair, would lake them
off their feet.
—Josh Billings says; “I am violently
opposed tew.ardent spirits-as a bcvrldge,
but for manufacturing purposes I think
a little of it tastes good.”
—Ata conference meeting roconfly, a
countryman gave it as his opinion, “ That
if men* were not born totally depraved,
they bccamo ho pvcuy middlin’ early.”
—Moral beauty, tho velloetiou of the
soul in the countenance, is as superior to
superficial comeliness, us mind is to mat
ter. Those who look good cannot fail to
bo good-looking.
—An old bachelor thinks that the trains
of ladies’dresses are infernal machines,
from tho fact that a blow-up took place
immediately after ho put his foot ou one.
—A chap out West who has been se
verely alllicted with palpitation of tho
heart, says he found instant relief by tho
application of another palpitating heart
to the spot affected.
—“ I wish,” said an anxious mother to
her careless son, “ I wish you would pay
a little attention to your arithmetic.”—
“ Well, I do,” was tho reply ; “ I pay us
little attention to it as possible.”
—An inquisitive chap asked a soldier
with an empty sleeve whore ho lost his
arm. “In a threshing machine,” an
swered the soldier.
“ Were you running tho machine ?”
“ Well no ; General Grant had charge.”
“ Figures can't lie,” says the arithme
tician. “ You can’t say that of women’s
flg-ures in these days,’ rcsjiouds the slan
derous dressmaker.
—A now justice of tho peace in Kansas
closed marrying his first couple with
these wo’-ds : “ What I have this night
joined together let no man but God Al
mighty put asunder.”
—A Cleveland lOhiol dry goods dealer
adds the following to liis advertising cir
. cular: “Ministers of the Gospel sup
plied with goods at cost price, if they
agree to mention tho fact.to their congre
gation.”
“ Wife,” said a man looking for his
bootjack, “ I have places for my things,
and you ought to know it.” “Yes,',
said she, “ I ought to know where you
keep your Into hours, but I don’t.”
—A sharp youth borrowed a stick of
candy from aJittio comrade, to show him
that ho could pull it out of his car. He
swallowed it, and then twisted himself
into various ways to extract it, but at
length informed his companion that he
had forgotten that part of the trick.
—Josh Billings is speculating on floods.
He arrives at this conclusion: “Thar
ain’t no doubt in mi mind but that the
Hood was a perfcck success, ami I have
tliot that another just such a one would
pay well in some sections of the coun
try.”
—Bismarck mot his barber at Baden-
Baden affably spoke to him. The barber
gave himself airs, and complained of the
mixed Society at Baden-Baden. The
count replied with a happy <juidjtro (j"o,
“ Well, C, we cannot all be barbers, you
know.”
—“Did any’ of you over see an ele
phanL’a skin ?” asked the master of an in
fant school in a fast neighborhood. “ I
have !" shouted a six-year old at the foot
of the class. “ Where?" inquired the old
man, amused by his earnestness. “On
an elephant," was the reply.
—“ I wish I could prevail on neighbor
li.it) to keep the Sabbath," said good ohl
Mrs. Jones. “ i'll lull you how to do it,”
exclaimed young .Smith, “ gut somebody
to lend it to him ami I’ll be bound that
he’ll keep it. ns ho never was known to
return anything he borrowed."
—A certain deacon being accustomed
i snort! while asleep in church, received
the following polite note: “Deacon
Smith is request'd not to commence
snoring to-morrow until the sermon is
begun, as some persons in the neighbor
hood of his pew would like to hear tho
text."
—A dilapidated old darkey in Mont
gomery, Ala., while watching the mon
keys in a menagerie in that city, on Fri
day, spoke thusly r : “ bum children got
too much sense to come out en (hit cage ;
white folks cut dar tails oil’ and set ’em
to votin’ and making Constitewtion.”
—An editor wrote an article on the fair
sex, in the course of which ho said.—
“ Girls of seventeen or eighteen are fond
of beaus," When the paper was issued
he was allocked to discover that an un
fortunate typographical error had made
him say : “Girls of seventeen or eigh
teen arc fond of beam
—lf wo work upon marble, it will per
ish ; if we work upon brass, time will ef
face it; if we rear, temples, they will
crumble into dust; but if we work .upon
immortal minds—if wo imbue them with
principles, with tho just fear of God and
our fellow-men—we engrave on those tab
lets something which will brighten to all
eternity.
—“Don’t you know me?" said a Ken
tucky soldier to his former commander,.
“Xo, my friend, I don’t." “Why, sir,
you once saved my life’” “Ah, how
was that?" “ Why; sir, I served •under
von at tho battle of Fort Duuclson, ami
when you ran away at the beginning of
the light, I ran after you—else X might
have been killed. God bless you, my
preserver, my benefactor!"
—A lady says the first time she was
kissed she felt‘like a tub of roses swim*
ming in honey, cologne; nutmegs and
cranberries. She felt also as if something
was running through her nerves on feel
of diamonds, escorted by several little cu
pids, in chariots drawn byaugels, shaded
by honeysuckles, and the whole spread
with melted rainbows.
—A genteel family was recently found
in one of the suburbs of London, literally
starving or starved to death; the furni
ture and clothing gone, tiro father dead
of hunger on the floor, the wife and
ther dying on the bed, the children per
ishing, the oldest girl crazy with hunger
ami moaning: ”It is tire last bit ol bread
—save it for the baby I ”
—An industrious blacksmith and an
idle dandy courted a pretty girl, who lies
itated which of them to take. rinally
H ho said she would marry which ever ol
them could show the whitest hands. —
With a sneer at the blacksmith the dan
dy held his palms white from idle
ness’ The poor blacksmith hid his
brawny hands in his pockets, then draw
ing them out filled with bright silver
coins he spread them over his dusky lin
gers. The girl decided that his lingers
wore tho whitest.
—The crew of a man-of-war once saw a
comet,'and were somewhat surprised ami
alarmed at its appearance. The hands
met and appointed a committee to wait
on the commander to ask his opinion oi
it. They approached him ami said ;
. * * We want to ask your opinion, your hon
or.” “ Well, my hoys, what is it about.
‘‘ We want to inquire about that Ihhn; up
there.” “Now, before 1
lirat let mo know what you think it i».
“ Well vour honor, we Imve talked it
over amt wc think it is a star sprung a
leak!”