Aiiurican Sllll nliinterr. VOL. 48. AMERICAN VOLUNTEER PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING DY JOHN B. BRATTON. TEB M S Subsciption. —One Dollar and Fifty Cents, paid , n advance; Two Dollars if paid within tho year; and Two Dollars and Fifty Cents, if not paid within tho year. These terms will ho rigidly adhered to m every instance. No subscription discontinued until all arrearages ate paid unless at the option of the . . thocASH, and not exceeding one square, will bo inserted three times for One Dollar, and twenty-five cents for each Additional insertion. Those of a greater length in proportion. Job-Printing —Such as Hand-bills, Posting-bills, Pamphlets, Blanks, Labels, Ac. Ac., executed with Accuracy, and at the shortest notice. ftorfifal. MISSING. Not among the suffering wounded; Not-among tho peaceful dead; Notaraong tho prisoners, “Missing.” That-was all tho message,said. Yot bis mother reads it over, _• Until through hor painful tears, . Fade's tho dour, name sho has called him . l f or these two-aud-twcnly years. Hound her all is peace and plenty; Bright and clean tho yellow floor; While tho morning-glorios oluster. All around tho kitchen door.' Soberly, tho sleek old house-cat- Drowses in his patch of sun;' Neatly shines tho oaken drosser ; All tho morning’s work is done. Through the window comes that ,fragrance Of a sunny harvostihiloTPn, Fragment songs from'distant reapers,’ And the rustling of the corn ;, Ami tho rich breath of tho garden— - Where the golden melons lie; Where the blushing plums are turning ■ ;All their rod cheeks to the’sky. , Sitting there within tho sunsbinc-r -• Loaning in her easy chair ; -• With soft linos upon her forehead, . Ami tho silver in her hair ■Blind to sunshine—dead, to fragrance— On that royal harvest morn; v Thinking, while her heart is weeping, Of hor noble-browed flrat born. How he left lior in the Spring-time, With his young'hoqrt full of flamo. With bis clear and ringing footstep, , With hla lithe and supple frame. How with tears his eyes were brimming, As bo kissed a last “ Good-bye,”'. Yet sho heard him whistling gayly .As ho went"across the rye. t . Missiko. Why should he bo missing 'j Ho would fight until ho foil j And if wounded, killed, or pria ner, ' • riomo 000 there bo to tell. MisstNa;; - Stilt.-a hope'to-cheer - Safe, triumphant, ho, may come, ’ With tho victor-army shouting, • • • With tho clamor of tho drum ! So through nll thc days of Autumn— In the evo and.in the morn— , " s She will hear his quickening footsteps In tho rustling of the corn, Or she will bush tbo household,. JVhilo her heart "oc« leaping high, .Thinking tiiat sho hears hira whistling In the pathway through the rye. Far away, through all the Autumn, . In,a lonely, lonely glade— In tbo dreary desolation' That the Battle Storm has made, ■\Vilh tbo rust upon his musket— In the ovo and in the morn— In the rank gloom of tho fern loaves Lies hcrhoble-browod first-born. Mmllmum. LIFE IN RUSSIA. A PRESENTATION TO THE EMPEROR —COURT CEREMONIES IN ST. PE TERSBURG. Correepondenee of the A. Y, Evening Poet. St. Petersburg, July 25, 1861. “God and tho Czar arc too .far off,” is a proverb with which Russians console them selves under the rigors of hard fate. When insulted and abused by government officials they do.not blame the Czar for it; they think justly that if ho knew the circumstances, ho would rectify the fault, hut hois “too far off” to know of such things; and God, they also aay, with a sort of fatality, is too distant to he troubled with tho mishaps of such unfortu nate creatures as themselves. , , What do the myriads of inhabitants know of the Czar? lie is to them a great demi-god, living in a city of palaces, wielding absolute Sower and enshrined in all the divinity which oth hedge about a king. Only soon by his subjects in St. Petersburg and Moscow, and .the immediate vicinity of those two cities, he is to the rest of the Russians hut an awful and dreaded myth. At least such he has been until tho present day, when fear is turning in to love, and when forty millions of emancipa ted serfs rejoice in their new found liberty, accorded to them by Alexander JI. Indeed, there is no nation which sees so lit tle of its sovereign ns this immense Russia.— In other countries the capital and the monarch are usually to bo found near the centre of the dominions ; but in Russia the ruler resides in emo corner of his realm, and rarely visits oth er portions. Yet tho loyalty of the eastern Snrt of European and the whole of Asian ussia is unshaken in that Czar, “in whom Hot having seen, they believe.” How few of tho Russian subjects ever dream of meeting tho Czar himself in his own palace and talking to hint as to.a fellow than 1 Yet what is inaccessible to those who support his throne is easily obtained by a person from another country, who probably has always looked with dislike'arid'indignation on the al leged “ despotism of Russia.” • With two other Americans now in St. Pe tersburg I sought and obtained an interview with the Czar. Through the intervention of ■the United States Minister, a day was ap pointed for an interview, and wo tooktlio.rail yoad- to Peterhof on n bright Sunday morn ing—this “ day of all the week the best " be ing considered by the European monarohs as the most suitable.for diplomatic and other pre sentations. As during this, day I was treat ed with groat attention, and received the same honors that the populace generally award to tho members of tho Imperial family, I will enter into the details of my “Ceremonial Ex pedition” with some minuteness. A. KINO FOR A BAY, As a diplomatic courtesy the Ato merican representatives, the Emperor sent three of Ins carriages to tho depot for, us. Tho vehicles themselves were largo, open and luxurious, each seating, however, but two persons. Magnificent creatures in red and gold livery, dotted with the Imperial cypher and radiant as butterflies in the sunlight, were tho drivers and footmen. It is the custom here for the people to take off their hats whenever tho Im perial carriages pass by. No matter who may be in them, this custom is observed; for if it be not the Czar himself, or the Grand Dukes, it must certainly ho some one whom tho Czar delights to honor—some high mag nate of the empire, or some foreign potentate, who has heard in distant lands of tho mag nificence of his Imperial Majesty,, the Auto crat of all tho Russians, and, like the Queen of Sheba, has come from a far off country to see for himself. Americans have the faculty of adapting themselves to any circumstances, and on this regal occasion we all wore an aspect of be nignant grandeur, which plainly said to the unenlightened populace, “Good folks, you be hold princes, of amazing wealth 'and power, who are disposed to look with favor upon Russia and its sovereign. The gentleman of our party, dressed in uniform is a most valiant warrior, who has slain his tens of thousands, and thp estimable individual in the white era vat is not, James Buchanan, hut another for eign monarch on whose nod depends the fate of billions.” There is no need of letting these people know that tho military chieftain In A never seen a battle field, or that tho dominions of the Opulent prince consists entirely of c7ia teax eh Espagne. So wo support only the dig nity of our positions and receive tokens of, homage' in a manner worthy of our: high rank aud royal ancestry, ... THE PAPiCE'pF UETERHOF. Winding among trees and along tile hanks of lakelets, the well-swept road leads to an immense yellow edifice surmounted by a cu pola, on which rests a huge gilded crown witli a gold double-headed eagle perching on the top. The appearance of the palace from this side is not very imposing, but tho gaily dress ed guards and servants impart to it a brilli ancy it would not Otherwise possess. . A crowd of people, generally well dressed, are waiting in tho largo, court-yard, in which are evident preparations for a military review. The foreign potentates, descending from tbq carriage, are escorted to a suite of rooms'ele gantly but not gaudily furnished, with waxed floors so slippery as to require great carp in walking over them—here wo are to wait un til tho Emperor is ready. TIIE PRESENTATIONS We do not wait long, for soon an official on-. ters and announces that the Emperor will now receive us, and we leave the room to find quite a little procession formed in the entry. It is led-by a ydung man in full court-dress, his head nearly hidden in a mass of red and yellow ostrich feathers, which droop low down from his little rod velvet cap, while his breast is dazzling with incomprehensible decorations. After himr comes a'Master of Ceremonies,, then another officiali; then the American Min ister ip,, ffiUhwod by our selves—the three young’Amerlonnq who.Vro about to .ba'fek for the first time .in tho sun shine of Imperial presence. With solemn si lence the'little procession proceeds onits.way -.through a series of not largo hut ,-elegantly* furnished apartments, at.tho doors of-which stand sentries, who present arms as we pass. Arrived' at theprincipaKreceptibh room, we are directed to wait, while tho American Min ister holds a private interview with tho Em peror in'an adjoining apartment. We eould scarcely have a more interesting place to wait in. 4'he room, square in shape, was once a favorite apartment ,of Catherine 11., and the walls are completely covered with a collection of three hundred and sixty-eight portraits executed by Rostali, an artistof that day, according to tho special order of the Em press. The portraits, are all of Russian fe males, and the artist, to find the originals, traveled through fifty provinces of the em pire. IliS inventive skill is more remarkable than his genius, for all of those young girls are painted in picturesque and different atti tudes, calculated to show to advantage the va rieties' of their national costumes. One-girl is knitting, another embroidering, another listening to some unseen speaker, another sleeping, another meditating, and another combing her hair; The artist has hero reali zed “ a dream of fair woman,” such as Ten nyson never thought of, and which, alas ! niy experience, goes far to prove was formed of the copies of ideal rather than of young Rus sian ladies." 1 Forms to female beauty in this country —w.ell, I shall say, nothing, for an American, havirigconstantly had perfection in this’lino before his eyes, cannot fairly judge of tho loss favored countries of tho Old World. If ayodon’t want to look at the portraits, and it, must ho confessed that 368 ladies star: d.ngat you from a wall do in time become rather monotonus,: there are other things in the room to attract attention. There is the crea- ture the ostrich feathers, wearing an expres sion of solemnity-suited to an imperial funeral. There is a handsome young gendarme placing tho floor ; there is tho Master of Ceremonies in a court dress; and standing like ebony idols at each door arc two negroes dressed in Oriental costume. “ Black, but comely,” can scarcely ho ap-' plied to these statuetque Ethiopians. Look at those two at the door of tho rodm in which is now the Czar. One is as black as jot, and looks like a southern Sold hand excepting tho dross; the other is an intelligent, though rather shot and stumpy mulatto, such as may he soon any day among our hotel waiters. They both gaze inpessatly at 'us Americans. The windoavs offer another spectacle. From one on the loft, as wo enter, wo have a vieav of the'woll'shaded court-yard of the palace, ond a fountain playing in the middle. From the three windoavs on the right (which, by. the way, are directly over tho principal porti co of tho edifice) is a soono utterly peculiar. Below tis is a terrace, on which stands a group of people looking at tho carriages which roll up to the palace door, and waiting patiently in hopes to catch a glimpse of their Emperor. Beyond tho. terrace stretches a a lawn, interspersed with gilded statutes and some fifty fountains, the principal one, called the Sampson, throwing a jet some eight fept high. On each side are oolonades, from the roofs of which also spring up fountains ; tho water pud guilt all the time flashing with ri valling lustre in the afternoon sun. Directly beyond tho lawn stretches out a canal, along tho sides of which alternate at regular inter vals trees and fountains; while in Ahe dis tance the qanal epipties into the Gulf of Fin land, which you sqe between the green trees —at the further end of this avenue, thus paved with water and bordered with fountains and foliage—dotted with ship and steamers, on whoso deck; stqud passengers from all parts of tho world pointing to the gilded dome of Peterhof, and saying to each other : “ There lives the Czar of Russia.” Suddenly our friend the mulatto manifest ed a slight perturbation. The creature in ostrich feathers and the handsome gendarme glide noiselessly away' The master of Cere monies whisper to us with an air of intense importance to-got into position—his Majesty is coming. So wo are arranged in a row, standing about seven feet apart, with our hats in bur haiifla, ns court etiquette demands. Soon the negroes on guard fling open the doors, and out walks with a hurried.step Alexander 11., ac companied by the American Minister. In troduced iirst to my companions, to whom he addresses a .few words in tolerable English, I have an opportunity of mentally sketching his appearance. At tall figure, perfectly formed, and distin guished by as noble and martial a bearing as Nicholas 1., himself could have boasted. Fair complexion and an oval face, sot off by a neat light brown moustache. A nose not noticeable except for its utter freedom, from the pug of his grandfather the Emperor Pa.ul. Hair cropped off close to the head in the summer style adopted by Frencbmem. A largo beauti-. ful eye of the mildest blue, as . clear and. soft as a girl’s, yet, by no means insipid in expres.- sion. ’ A pleasant, cordial voice, and,manner as far removed from haughtiness as .from any affectation of condesc'outiou. A noble, man ly bearing, and physique set oft’ndvnntageo.ua ly by a military uniform. Altogether, a handsome, attractive persopage, who would at once preposess, although not impressing one at first sight, with any idea of extraordi nary ability. , This, then, is the man who fills the throne and inherits the policy of Peter the Great,,of Catherine 11., of. the friend and enemy, of 1 of Napoleon, Alexander!., of the terrible and' feared Nicholas; This individual represents the greatest one man,power in : the world ; is the very incarnation of absolutism, but great-; or than all, is the iuost magnificent apostle of emancipation the world ever saw. No man ever before had his power for extending the area of freedom, and no,man has over taken belter, advantage' of bis power. Catherine 11., raised an. equestrian statuolo Peter the Great—the memory of Alexandria I. I'icbolas preserved by the most magnificent monolithic colunin. in the world, now standing in front of the Winter Palace^—and Nicholas hiniselfis commomoiatcd in' “monumental brass’’, in front of St. Isaac’s Church ; but what monu ment, statue or column must the successor of the present Emperor raise, to-do'sufficient honor'to the man who began his reign by freiing forty millions of slaves, and achieving without blood, the most magnificent victory the cause of humanity.has over lejoiced in 1 This indeed, is the oiio absorbing thought with all.who are now presented to the Emperor. They do not remember the aiignst inheritor of a.groat throne, hut they see before them the man who with an almost creative power raised such myriads of men and generation yet oo T horn from slavery to freedom. . Here my admiration.and reflections are in terrupted- by the Emperor himself, who ap proaches.; and, cm.hearing my name, addres ses me in excellent, French in the few com mon place remarks which arc only practicable on this occasion. How long had.l been from A meric-,i; and hud rover visited Europe be fore : ami he Imped I -would lie pleased with' ‘Stf Pdfcfsbnr'g'.w’Tbo'n' a ■,emientl-’but ’ vmsr slight.bow serves as a'farcwcl! to'us ;ilf; fife Oriental darkies open ■ the .door, the Emperor passes through,The‘doors are flapped shut, and the, interview is over. Tho creature in Ostrich feathers becomes again manifest to ns ; our little procession re-forms and, wo marcli back .to.our rooms, AXUXEXI’ECTED DEMOXSTIUTIOX, As we are marching soldmnlydhrongli one of the longest saloons, I,heard a shuffling ,of feet at my side,■ and, sonic one touches my arm. Looking around,' I see, to my groat amazement, the little stumpy mulatto who had stood at the dour of the Emperor’s room. At first I thought that we had committed some dreadful breach of,etiquette, of which our col ored friend was to inform ns: and the next moment fancied'that the. Emperor, justly wishing to.recognize distinguished merit, had sent us each a diamond snuff-box. Put both of these delusions, wore dispelled when the negro spoke to mo in good English, asked mo how long I had been over, waivted to know how tho war was getting on. I asked him a few questions, and found that ho, though nearest to tho person oftho Czavofßussia, was formerly cn American slave. Ho was from Now Orleans and had come to Europe in 1813, with Gen eral Mbrehu, and for.years had been attached to the Imperial household; His was a singu lar career for a Southern slave, arid Irimj’ re mark hero, that St. Petersburg is a,very Paradise for negroes. No prejudice whatever exists against their color, and they may, ho met in the streets walking arm in arm with soldiers and officers. . . Tire END OF THE EXPEDITION A ride through tho imperial grounds, a rc,- viow, at which the Czar looked “every inch a king,” and walked before his troops with all tho dignity that Jove himself would, have shown had ho boon Emperor of Russia, and a railroad ride back to St. Petersburg, ended my brief visit to the imperial homo. Oxe of the Westerx Oiii-iVaiiv Notices. —Mister Edatur:—Jem bangs, we are sorry tustait, has dosoized. Ho departed this Life last bluntly. Jem wos generally considered a •gud,fuller. Ho dido at tho age of 23 years ole. Ho went 4th, without ary struggle ; and sieh is life. Tu Da wo are as popper grass, mighty smart; tu Morrer we nre,cut down like a oowoumher of the .ground, Jem kept a nice stoar, which his wife now avails on,— His virehews wos numerous to behold. Mon ey is tho things'aye hot at his growcery, and wo - are happy to stnit to the admirin avurhl Unit ho never.eboeted, spcslmlly in the avato of inarkrel, avliieh wos nice and smelt saveet, and his sufvivin avife is the same avay. Wo never know himjn put sand in his sugar, tho lie had a big sand-bar in front of his hens; nur water in his Lickurs, the. tho Ohio River runs pu.it his doro. Peco to his romanos!— Ho lcvos,a Wife, 8 children, a cow, 4 horses, a groavccry stoar, and other quadrupeds to mourn his loss; hut in the spnlondid lang widge oy the port, his loss is there eternal gone. Tue Last Words of Mbs. Partington.— Ike goes for a soldier; Mrs. -Partington makes a farearoll address. [“ Ike, my son, stand up while I dross you : hold my bonnet and specks.”] “Folloav soldier: It is tho abandoned duty of all to bo patriarchal in these times, and to hand down, unropared, the glorious flag to all seceding generations.” ( Here Ike commenced counting off the now fashienod cheer, and swinging tho old bonnet up and down ns ho ayent in, one, two, throe; tiger.) “ March hesitatingly into th# con tented field, and if a rebel demands your quar ter, tell him you had hut three, and tho last one is spent; then if he won’t quit and leave, quit yourself like a man,’and may you have a “ glorious campaigner it.” 0“ Unsocial old Snarl says that love is a combination of diseases—an affection of the heart, and nn inflammation of the brain. “ OUR COUNTRY —MAY IT ALWAYS BE EIGHT—BUT, RIGHT OR WRONG, OUR COUNTRY.” CARLISLE, PA, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER. 5, 1861. A gentleman -who recently visited the Snow Cave in Tuckerman’s Ravine, in, ,the White Mountains) thus describes it: Wo liad now ascended some flvjjlthousand feet, and catching a glimpse of a small snow bank, I pushed on in advance of mV compan ion, and ho was soon dodging behind the rocks to avoid my snowballs. AVhat a grand thing it is to have a snovv ball fight in August!— And that within a.hundred .miles of Boston ! Verily, tinies are .changing. Up, tip we go, and at last what a sight greets ouc-vision ! There, far away, highup the lay tho snow in one brond vast field! The di mensions must have been, at tho least, one thousand feet by five hundred, in yddth and height, while in many places the depth was over forty or fifty feet. If piled together at a depth of ton feet,,it, without would have made a 'field, orA square form hVo hund red feet on a side.. Thus there must have been twenty-five thousand cubic ieet of snow in Tuckennan’s Ravine, on the 2d of August, 18(11., But “ wonders never cease,” and as wo turned to ascend, the mouth of the famous ice cave met our gaae. Picture to yourself tho ribs and bows of an unfinished ship, whose gigantic depth is more than a thousand feet, and you have before you the shape of this sublime mountain gorge. lingo land-slides and detached masses of rocks lie around' on every side, which, together with the awful stillness of the place,' toll man what a puny creature he is compared with the works of nature. The mouth; of tho covo tfnensures about forty feet. Its direction is up the al most perpendicular prodipice, arid Us length is three hundred foot. Prom the highest shelf of'tho cliff, down to tho bed? of the, stream, more thnri n thousand feet, mriiunewjblo runs of water spring forth,, which, glistening in I the, sunlight;- show a natural watit-fall, to .which art can never approach. Most aptly arc these’ called the thousand Streams. Especially noticeable is jV stream formed by many of these minor rails, which plunges into a hole in.the highest part of the snow-bank,, and, forcing its way (through, forms the cave so renowned and seen by so few. The roof of the cave is arohqd,. and in the centre about eight feet in hoigjit. The whole .span the entire distance is ‘Vwrought into beautiful scollops and chasings by tho inciting,and dropping of, the snow,§Hhin ; ” the whole reminding one of Henry tho Eighth’s chapel, and the architcctu|o of the feudal ages. From each point a Jpntinunl Stream of water falls, so that it. siomingly rains in tho cave. The. nftponranjo of the roof inside is like highly, polished white mar ble, though the lines; are beyond tha skill of human sculptor! Such is-tho''lcw?Cavo in Tuckcrmnn’s Ravine; and a more Jjeautiful and wonderful sight cannot be fomal oil this continent Tip Education* op Courage.— Cqlirago is considered as presence’of mind in t|(t> midst, of danger. .‘'lndeed, it ts, properly, syinothing more than this, a -peculiar ftombrfth*&tn6rgY. ‘ n'W.lkejicdr^" l hero has more ..presoncG’ of.mind and of exertion in proportion to the,exigency, in which ho .is placed. In iiu account (if Wash- ington and his Generals, the. author remarks, even of Benedict Arnold, that on the field of hat tie Ills excitement and bravery-seemed to rise with the storin and din of war, and Where bullets were most abundant he weiuld ride most conspicuously, wakened to new energy by the surrounding,perils. This sort'of physical ceurngeisTiatural to some men, and depends very much bn the state of the health of body and the circum stances in which men are placed. Some are always hopeful, and are thus insensible to danger, or only sufficiently stimulated by it to be thoroughly roused. Others are of a des ponding mood, and generally the'first time or two such men are under fire, if they see those around them shot down, they suffer a paraly zing fooling, and, to a great.or less degree, a loss of momentary presence of mind. All the best soldiers have known something of this. Reason and. previous training here op erate to make a man go on acting in a right manner, until he has time to recover himself, after which the peril will only wake up a sort of pleasurable excitement and superhuman energy. The animating strains of martial music will often rouse the combative energies of a whole body of men. And by'tho laws of association, the men who have been used to charge whop tho charge is sounded, however they may fell inwardly, will rnsh onward in order and mechanically, to honor or to death, at the cannon’s mouth. After a little while men got used to the danger, and those who are unwpurided fight their way through. The sense of duty is a great source of cour age with many mid tho hestof men, Itis re ported of hol’d Wellington that ho saw ono of Ids officers urging on his troops to almost cer tain death. His face was pale, but ho was loading on Ids' inen. “There goes a brave mail, bo knows his danger, hut ho does his ditty,’.’ Such was Ids remark." This sort of (■mirage, will 1 not always produce the most splendid nnd'brilliant attacks upon the battle field, but it wrU qyontuate in theinost certain and permanenf-Sniccoss. It will enable men steadily to otidufh and hold their ground in tho face of ilj'sucecss and tho defection of oth ers. Tho greatest of all trials to courage is the want of it in friends and companions. The contagion of panic is what only tho best, end most expe iinoed troops can withs'nnd. Indeed, it tikes much experience of danger and defeat and the highest sense of honor and duty, to on ihlo nien to stand thoir ground firmly wlier all others are giving away. This rallying cot rage is the especial difficulty and duty of tbo officers’ work on the field of bat tle. It is qui the field o( result of o; us can eu; pood educi tive oourai of that sorl oral bxpoi Northern ; in the fie] elements I gngoment tod Beyoli wars, bui exporionl make tIK men of ell (C7' , iho only line most modern young la dies kniw how to hang clothes oil—Crinoline. O* luring an ejaminathm a medical stu dent \vk» asked the question, ‘‘^. l | end ° e f inortifioltion onSue?” reefed, When ;^ ou pop thonuestion and are ifnsworod JNo. dela; eztrt The lee Cove- in Tnekerjann’s Ravine. i nicer, therefore, that bravery on / battle is ami must he chiefly the perience in the field. As no goni my the want in bodies of men of a. jtion, so no personal daring and na- Je can in an army supply the place i of education, to danger which sev nonces of peril will produce. Our troops need only a little experience Mof strife. They have the native (of efturago. They hove in all en s stood till theirranks wore decima (id what.is customary ■ in European ‘they want careful officers, and few ;os like those of the Kansas men, to sm what they are rapidly becoming, lucated:courage.— Phil, Ledger. r>kn- editor dowh Sfmth apologises, for fm tflo issue of/liia papcr, os ho had fin "male" to intend to during the week. -■ i Gen. fflclellnn YlSits a Regiment Incog. The Conseqnence, ; WAsniNotojf, August. 26.—Gon. McClellan is in the habit of riding around occasionally in citizen’s dross, accompanied by a few of his staff. A few days ago ho was.walking of the encampments, across the Potomac, and passing the rear of the tents he saw a bucket of colfte standing near a fire. Ho asked what it was, and one of the soldiers said “coffee." “It looks more like slops," he replied. “Oh," said the soldier, “It is not fit to drink, but we have to put up with it, arid our other food isnot a bit better." “Well, whoso fault is it?-' he asked. “Oh, our Quartermaster is drunk most of the time, and when he is not ho is studying how to cheat." _ McClellan passed on, and seeing more evidence of the dirty and solvenly man ner in which the Quartermaster conducted Ms operations in his "tent, ho accosted him with thorerriark that the men were complain ing of bad treatment from him. The Quar termaster flow into a passion, and: swore it was none of his business, and he had better not come sneaking around (ry'ng to mischief. McClellan answered him, tellirig him he had better be cautions how he talked. Quartermas ter' replied, “ Who are you, that you assume so much apparent authority?" “Tam George B. McClellan, and you can pack up your traps and leave I" The Quartermaster was struck dumb, and McClellan turned and loft him. That evening the Quartermaster left to the trine of the “ Koguuo’s M arch/' played by some of the boys who had got wind of it. They now have a Quartermaster who does not “ get drunk.and cheat," and that rogiriient would risk their lives at the cannon's mouth for the man who does care how the men are provided for. The story has been circulated around some of the camps, and the officers are now always 'on the lookout for the General, and of course do not have too much lying around loose. The moral effect of that action will bo worth more to the men than the “ inspection” of a dozen regular officers, who always let the men know When they are coming, and are then surrounded by a Cliqrie who suppress the troth, and keep off those who have a right to have their complaints heard. —Philadelphia Inquirer. Cut it Short. — A certain barbar having, n great gilt of gab, used to amuse his customers with his long yarns, while ho went through his functions on their heads and faces. One day an old codger came in, took his seat, and ordered n shave and hair cut. The barber went to work, and began at the same time one of his long stories, to the little or no satisfac tion of the old gentleman, who became irritat ed at what the barber said : “ Cut it short." “ Yes sir.” said the barber, continuing the yarh, Until thooldgentleman again ordered— “ Cut it short, I say—out it shottl” “ Yes sir,” clipping away and gabbling even faster “ Cnt it short, I say,” reiterated the gentle man. ■ “Yes sir," said the barber, going on with his.story! „ . J Will 'it sbdrt f" bawfe tße old gent in a rage. ‘ f - “ Can’t, sir” "says the,barber, “forif you lookjin the glass, you’ll see I’ve cut it all oft,” And, to his horror, Upon looking in the jglass the gent found the hair all cut from his head. “ Tiiev Can’t Draft Me, Now.”—-An :ip stance wherein was depicted the some persons are apt to indulge, respectmS'thS possibility of being drafted info Wvlt«c< ry. service, and the extremity-" tills" fear carries them, has come un'dlr ' A gentleman who shall be haifieless,' called upon Dr. S—- , a few days .sinee; and in quired what would disqualify "him for milita ry service, and prevent his being drafted. lie was informed, among other things, that the loss of the fore fipger of his right hand would have the effect. . Taking his leave of the doc tor, the apprehensive individual was lost sight of for about an hour, when he again made his appearance, wishing the stump of his finger dressed—the same haying been ac cidentally “amputated" while “cutting wood 1” Proper liniments, &o„ having-been applied, the patriot, as he was emerging from the door, exclaimed, in an, exultant voice, “ They can’t draft■ me, note !"—New Haven Journal. • E 7” The Grass Valley National, relates the following incident as having recently occur red in that vicinity: A lawyer of this village was consulted a few days since by an injured husband, who complained of the unfaithfulness of his spouse. Reposted acts of inconstancy on the part of the wife could be clearly proved, and the man of law told his client that there would be no difficulty in obtaining a divorce at the next term of the Court, “ Divorce next term of the Court!" exclaimed the nbw excited Ren ediot,D —n your divorce ! I only want to get an injunction to stay her proceedings!" Bgy A dutohman thus describes an acci dent:—Vbncea long Vile ago, I vent into mine abblo orchare, to dim a tree to get some beaches to make mine vrow a blum budding mit; and when I gets on tobbermost branch I vail down from the lowermost limb, vith von leg on both sides of de -fence, and like to stove mins outside in. Jgg"-They tell a story about a Yankee tai lor dunning a man for the amount of his bill. The man replied, T am sorry, very sorry, indeed, that I can’t pay it.’ ‘Well,’said the tailor,‘T took you fora man that would bo very sorry—but if yon are sorrier than I am, I’ll quit. ; A Fdnnv Fugitive.—A runaway slave who made his way to Cairo, where he did good service in the intrenchments, was asked if he did not wish to go back and fight. Hereplied with a grimace, “laws, no, Massa, die nigger is not a flghtin’ nigger 1 he’s a runnin’nig }f ~ Ifv* “ How is it,’’ said a gentleman to Sher idan, “ that your name has not an o.attach ed to it? Your family is Irish, and no doubt illustrious." “No family had a better right to 0 than our family," said Sheridan, “ for we owe everybody." JT’.Yonr character cannot be essentially injured except by your own acts. If any one speaks'evil of you, let your life bo so that none will believe Him. > [£7"A seaman who had escaped one of the re cent shipwrecks, was, asked by a lady-how bo felt when the waves dashed over him. He replied; “ Wet, madam, quite wet." S6J“ To “ shoot folly ns she flies ” requires a heavy load of common sense. v , Oar fat Contributor In tbe Home Guard. The moment the flag was threatened, large bodies of men werccallod upon to rally in its defense. Being a large-bodied man,l rallied, and enrolled myself with the Homo Guard. The drill is very severe on me this hot weath er, although I am constantly allowed an at tendant with a fan and a pitcher of ice water. I am constantly reminded that one of the first'requirments of a soldier is to throw out his chegt and draw; in his stomach. • Having been burned out several times while occupy ing rooms in an attic, I have had considerable practice in throwing out my chest , but by what system of practice could I ever hope to draw in my stomach 7 I can’t “ dross up”—it’s no use trying. If my vest buttons are in lino I am far in the rear, and if I too the mark a fearful bulge indicates my position. ( There is no room for argument in regard to my sen timents—everybody can see at a glance just where I stand.) One evening wd had a hew drill-sorgenht who was near-sighted. Ban ning his eye down the line, he exclaimed sharply: . I x “What is that man doidgdm the ranks with a baas drum V He pointed at me, but I hadn’t any drum —it wjs the surplus stomach that I couldn’t draw in. I nm the butt of numberless jokes, as you may well suppose. They have got a story .in the Guards that wdien.l first heard the com mand, “QdSer dropped my musket, and out my began to draw an order on the Governor for what arms I wanted. They say I ordered a IVinans steam gum, with a pair of Dahlgreeh howitzers for sidd arms. Base fabricators 1 My ambition never extended beyond a rifled cannon, and they knew it.. Although in respect to size I belong to. the “ heavies,” my preference is for the light in fantry service. My knapsack is marked light' infantry., One evening the spectators seemed convulsed about something, and my comrades tittered by'platoons whenever my back was turned. It was all a mystery to me until I laid off my knapsack. Some wretch had erased the two final letters, and I had been parading all the evening labeled “light infant 1” The above is one of the thousandan nbyance to Which 1 am subjected, and nothing but my consuming patriotism could ever in duce me to submit to it, I rallied at-the call of my; country, and am not to bo put Out by tho rallying of my comrades. I overheard a spectator inquire of the drill ■sergeant one day: “ Do you drill the whole of him at once 7” “No,” ho returned, in an awful whisper, I drill him by squads I" I would have drilled him if I had a bayo net. Specifications have been published in re gard to my uniform, and contractors advertised for. The making will bo let out to tbo lowest responsible bidder. :In case the Guards are ordered to take the field, a special commissary will be detailed to supply my. rations. This 1 reminds me of a harrowing incident. On last drill night, an old farmer, who dropped in to seo us drill, took me aside, and said ho want ed to sell me a yoke of powerful oxen.. <, V My ancient .agriculturist,'.' said I, smiling at his simplicity, “ I have no uto for'oxon.” ■“Perhaps not,at present,” quoth he, “but if yon go to war you will want them." “For wlmtf” said I, considerably annoyed. “ You will.want’ cm to draw your rations, The Guards paid me a delicate complimem at the last meeting. They elected mo “ Child of the Regiment, ’’ with the rank of first Cor pnlant, and the pay of chief “ Blowyer." I •\vas about to return thanks in a neat and ap-* ■propriato speech, when a reporter who was ipresout assured me it was no use : —he had got .'the whole thing in type, speech and all, and t could read it in the evening paper. He said they kept a “neat and appropriate speech, standing in type continually." I got his views, and held,my peace. Yours for the Union, including the Stars, also the Stripes, •Fat Contributor. Feamale Traitors, A fact has just come to our knowledge which shows how readily the enemy obtains information through agencies, which are per mitted to perform their operations without check or hindrance, A lady who is passing the summer at New port, received, last week, a letter from a lady friend, dated at Bichmond, and announcing tho writer's safe arrival in that city from Bal timore. The letter was filled with Secession ists sentiments. The writer, a young south- cm woman, espouses the cause of the rebels with the utmost fervor, and expressesan ear nest wish'that the waraginst the government may succeed. She then describes the plan by which she was enabled to elude the vigilance of onr patrols, and to make her way safely to the rebel capital as the bearer'of important dispatches from the Secessionists in Baltimore to their friends at Manassas Junction and Richmond, She left Baltimore some ten days since with no other bngggago than a medium sized traveling trunk; crossed the Potomac in an open boat, made her way through unguard ed passes at a distance from the lines'of onr army, apd by a circuitous and fatiguing route succeeded in entering the lines of tbo eneniy. She had then no difficulty in penetrating to the camp at Manassas, having given the ene my’s pickets abundant evidences of, her sym pathy with their cause, and was permitted to proceed to Richmond without molestation of any kind. Arriving at Richmond, her trunk was im mediately sent to the post office, in order that the immense number of letters which it contained might be properly assorted and for warded. The writer adds that so great was the amount of the correspondence which she had. thus conveyed from Baltimore to Rich mond that her trunk “ was packed with let ters so that she had room for only one light summer dress on tbo top of them.” In de tailing the particulars of this journey the writer further says: “To be sure, I ran some risk in doing all this, but then if they (the Government) • had caught me, what could they have done? I am only a, woman. They would mihjhavesent me to Washington Tho story, which comes to ns upon the.best amhprity, simply proves wlmt has been said for many weeks past—that the rebelsconstaut ly receive information of the movements of the Government, and that their facilities tor holding regular eomraanication with the Se cessionists In Baltimore and Washington suffer no material cheek from the suspension of the mail service. The young lady id question, however, could have saved herself much trouble and consider- able risk by forwarding tho .letters to Rich mond through the Adams Express Company of this city.;— Eve. Post. ■ CZ7” A gentleman carved a joint at a din: nor party, and did his work- very awkwardly. “ You shan’t be my joint executor," said m» next neighbor* - (Dbb anb (Bnbs. CT'lt is a bold stroke to stroke a lion's inane. D* The fittest dower for a widow—a wid ower. ■■ ■ ■ cannot preserve happy domestie pairs infamily jars. • .. •* 0“ Camels, angry cats and cross wires d* ways have their backs up, " C7* A bachelor goblogist ls ncqoainfcd witb all rooks except “ rook the cradle." 8@“ It seems a hard case that, when a nion dice, his better half ia only entitled to a third, ICT*- A man is more likely to fall down nto« on the ice when he- ventures upon slipshod. O* Why are fixed stars like wicked old mo.n ? Because they scintillate, (sin till late.) O’ Beware how you have dealings!['with a man taller than yourself; ho con always over reach you, -. . - ■' . (O* Most hooks in these days ore like'somi* kinds of trees—a great many leaves and no fruit. •. . .. O’ The greatest coward may avoid shaking in his shoes by wearing boots or going bare footed, . . ■ Js©* Women should set good examples, for the men are always following after the wo men. ... , IC’"' If you are conscious of being green, and don’t, want folks to see it, try to be an in visible green. - 1 mnsioal instrnmont has had no' honorary degree conferred upon it ? Fiddle 0. D. ■ • •••••• J©-“ Matchless misery" has been defined to be having a cigar and nothing to light it with. B©-Artists may not be guilty of direct falsehoods, but they; generally give things,a color. ■ O” It is said if you stop up rat-holes with old search warrants, every knowing rat will leave the premises. . fl©“Why cannot the Emperor Napoleon insure his life ? Because no one can be found who can make out his policy, ' C 7" Men of some vacations are usually un dersized. The most strapping fellows in the community are the schoolmasters. O" Many persons are' in advance'of their age, but dn old maid generally manages tob* about ten years behind hers, . •. B©* If, you can’t coax „a fish to bite, tty your persuasive powers upon a cross dpg, and yon will be surd to succeed. O* Dimity is named from Damietta, a town in Egypt, celebrated for its manufae ture, • \ DC? - We are oftener mera'.cruelly robbed by those who steal into’ dar heartalthan by those ■<vho tweak ’ aljf-men is Wrtfte; the best companions honorable sentiments, £©"A gentleman coming into the room ofr the late Dr. Barton, told him that Mr. Vowel was dead. “ What 7 " said he, Vowel dead f Let us be thankful it was not U nor I." B©“You had better send a son unarmed and helpless into n; wilderness of ferocious Wild animals, than into the world without ed ucation, ■ CT'lt is impossible that an ill-natured man cap have a public spirit; ior how coula he love tea thousand men who never love£ one 1 ■ ■ OCT'People may be instructed by those who have less sense than themselves, as a man may bo guided by a finger-board no sense at all. Bt/'Jlo not wait for a change of outward circumstances, but ; take your outward cir cumstances as they are, and make the best of them. UZT'A young lady who Was perfectly thun* derstruck at hearing of her friend’s engage ment, has siSge been provided with a light ning rod. O” A man who marries a frivolous, showy woman, fancies ha has hung a trinket round his heck, hut be soon finds it a mill-stone.:. JJ6T Vanity Fair gives the followingjvmu sing paradox: “Old Dog Trays Ever Faith ful they, say; but the dog who si faithful can never he-tray. O' “ William, if you go in the street I’ll whip you." “ But, mother, if 1 let you whip me now, may I go out afterward T ” ly A western paper spoaks of a man who “died without the aid of a physician. Such instances of death Uro very rare. 8ST 1 A young gentleman of onr acquaint ance says he thinks that young ladies whore fused good offers of marriage are too “Noing by half.” BSy A clergy man once prefaced his service with “My friends, let us say .a few words be fore we begin." This is about equal, to the gentleman who took a short nap before ho wont to sleep. • . strong minded woman says that tho : members of their 'ate convention at Worces ter showed little spirit, and sat in their seats' like so many “dried oranges.” Perhaps they' had all been squeezed. figy A parson cornered a farmer, whom ho seldom saw at his ministrations, by asking, him directly, after a little reproof of his sin of omission, “ shall wo see yon at‘ church 1 next Sabbath f ” “ Y-e-s," he replied slow ly, “I'll go or send a hand." • , ' (C 7“ A man in Kentucky killed a cow a few; days since, in whoso ■ stomach was found' ai largo breast pin, a hairpin andaquantity of hooks and eyes. It'is inferred that the. old cow swallowed the milkmaid,- ;i -; i . .. . ■ . ■ . • IC7* “ Mamma,” said a young lady to. her mother, “ what is emigrating? " , “Emigra ting, my deari is, a young lady going to five in California." “Whatis colonizing, main-' mat " “Colonizing. my dear, is marrying' there end having a family. “Mamma, I: should like to go to California,"- .. GRAND DISAPPOINTMENT* I thought her mine; I thought the world' Shone forth with joy for ' I,dio’nt .dream ip-nttor years Ita folly I should B6ei r,, ' : ' ; ' .1.1 r, : -) h But so it proved. , I sought (ipr hnnd-r (I really thought I’d get hafj— 1 ’ But oh, alas 1-her answer camo-^ Her mother wouldn't let her 1” NO. 13.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers