American volunteer. (Carlisle [Pa.]) 1814-1909, September 07, 1854, Image 1

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    MERICAN VOLUNTEER
PUBLISHED EVBR®mm'SDAT MORNING
Uy Jolm B. Bratton.
TERMSi
Dollar ahd Fifty Cents,
: bald In advance; Two Dollars if paid within the
year? and Two Dollars and Fifty Conts, If not
paid within tho year. Those terras will bo rigid-r
ly adhered to In every Instance,, No subscription
discontinued until all arrearages are paid unless
at the option of tho Editor.
Advertisements —Accompanied by tho Cash,
and not exceeding ono square, will be Inserted
three times for one Dollar, and twenty-five conts
for each additional Insertion. -Those of tt greater
length in proportion.
Joii-PniNTiNd—Such as Hand Bills, Posting
Bills, Pamphlets, Blanks, Labels, &c., &c., exe
cuted with accuracy and at tho shortest notice. .
ftottttal.
ILLUSION.
Whore the golden com is bonding.
And the singing reapers pass,
£ Where tho chestnut woods arc sending
Leafy showers on tho grass,
<’ *Tho blue river onward flowing
Mingles with its noisy strife,
•The murmur of tho.flowers growing,
And tho hum of insect lilo.
i from that rich plain was gazing
towards tho snowy, mountains high,
Who their gloaming'ponks were raising
Up against tho purple sky.
And tho glory of their shining,
.. Bathed in clouds of rosy light,
Set ray weary spirit pining
- so pure and bright!
So I lefprao plain, trad weary,
■ Falhubg, yet with hope sustained.
Tolled through pathways long and dreary,
Till the mountain top was gained.
Lo 1 have‘taken,
As to shining from;bol6V?i'A - ,V.‘ r
Was a desolate, forsdkb&AA.A• *
Region of pcrpfctual ihow'.V A"
I am faint, my foot aro bleeding,
Airmy.focblo'strongtb is worn,
In the plain no soul Is heeding,
lam hero alone, forlorn. . ,
s • &
Lights are shining, bells ore tolling,
. • dn tho busy valo below :
Near me night’s black clouds are rolling.
Gathering o’er a waste oi^snow.
So I watch tho river winging
Through the misty fading plain.
Bitter are Hie tear-drops blinding,
Bitter useless toil qhd.paln.
Bitterest of ail the finding
That my dream waif false and vain I
TOBACCO.
Tho Doctor f&ana back on his old'settee,
A-smoking a ronk cigar,
And he grins a grin, for so pleased la ho
Whilst pulling the smoko afar ;
And ho piifls and puffs, and ho snuflaand snuffs,
Like a mao with a bad catarrh.
His boon companion beside him sits,
And a stale old quid and chaws,
And a plug of tho weed that ho bites into bits,
Ilejiolds in his precious paws ;
Ancl hq'sits and sits, and squirts and spits
The slime from bis juicy jaws.
And luippy are they os a pair of twins,
A-spUUng and slobbering there,
With a dirty spittoon between their shins,
Which they hold with the greatest care,
Forgetting their debts, forgottingthoirsins,
Ane forgetting tho hour of^rayer.
But it matters not that they take no pains
Tho'wiles of old NlBk'to lirayo,'*
Lot them smoko aiid chew, till each.throttle
.strains, - ••• \
f>a tho brink of tho 'yawnthg gravo j ' ,
For men who can thus becloud their brains,:
Have surely.no souls to save.-
From i ßallou*a History of Ct{ba.
THE STORY -OP MARTI, TEE SMUGGLER.
Ono of, the most successful villains whose
story will bo written in history is ft man named
Marti, ns well lenowh.in Cuba'as the person of
tho General himself. Formerly he
was*££&&&as a smuggler and hnlf pirate on
island, being a daring and ac
complish of reckless men. At ono time
ho of the Isle of tho Pines,
wlicro waS 4 his.principal rendezvous, and from
whence he despatched his vessels, small fleet
crafts, to operate in the neighboring waters.
When Tacori landed on the island and became
Governor General, ho found the revenue laws in
a sad condition, as well as the internal regula
tions and oppression, he determined to do some
thing in tho way of reform. The Spanish ma
rine, sent out to regulate the
of the island, lay idly in port, the oflicers pass
ing their time on shore, or in giving balls and
dances on the decks of their vessels. Tacon
saw that one of the very first moves for him to
make was to suppress the smuggling upon the
coast at all hazards; and to this end he set him
self directly to work. Tho maritime force at
his command was at once detailed upon this
service, and they coasted night and day, buP
without tho least success against the smugglers.
In vain were all tho vigilance and activity of
Tacou and his agents—they accomplished noth
ing.
At last,finding that all his expeditions against
them failed, parHy from tho adroitness and
bravery of the smugglers, and partly from tho
want of pilots among tho shoals and rocks that
they frequented, a large and tempting reward
was offered to any ono of them wlio would de
sert from his comrades and aot in this capacity
In behalf of the government. At the same time
a double , sum, most princely in amount, was
offered for tho person of one Marti, dead or alive,
who was known to bo tho leader of tho lawless
rovers who thus defied the government. These
rewards were freely promulgated, and posted
so os to reach tho cars of those whom they con
cerned ;jhut even these seemed to produce no
cDbct,.and tho government oflicers were at a loss
how to proceed in tho matter.
it was a dark, cloudy night in Havana, some
tlireo or four months subsequent to tho issuing
oi these placards announcing tho rewards as re-;
lerrea to, when two sentinels were pacing bnck
vv arda and forwards before tho main entrance
!2LSf - V ovcrno f just opposite to tho
iL™™£! a ‘ Za ‘ A , IIUl ° koto™ midnight a man
Jl°» ' ak A fta etching them from
f«snTmfe stotuo of Ferdinand, near tho foun
tain, and, after observing that tho two soldiers
acting as sentinels, paced their brief walk so as
to meet each o her. and then turn their backs
as they separated, leaving a brief moment in tho
interval when tho eyes of both were turned a
way from tho entrance they were placed’to
guard, seemed to calculate upon passing them
unobserved. It was an exceedingly delicate
manoeuvre, and required great dexterity to effect
it; but at last it was adroitly done, and tho
stranger sprang lightly -through tho entrance,
secreting himself bctiind ono of tho pillars in tho
inner court of tho placo. Tho sentinels paced
on undisturbed.
The figure which had thus stealthily effected
fcn entrance, now sought the broad stairs that
led to the Governor’s suite of apartments, with
, a countenance that evinced n perfect knowledge
,of the place. A second guard post was to bo
passed at tho head of the stairs; hut, assuming
an air of authority, tho stranger offered a cold
military salute and passed forward, as though
jthoro was not the slightest distant
\h)B so to do; and thus avoiding all sfspi*
oion m tho guard’s mind, ho boldly entered the
BY JOHN B. BRATTON.
VOL 41.
entered tho Governor’s reception,room, unchal
lenged, and closed the door behind him. In a
large easy chair .sat the commander in chief,
busily engaged in writing hut alono. An ex
pression of undisguised satisfaction passed across
tho weather-beaten countenance of tho new com
er at this state of affairs, as ho coolly cast of!
Jiis cloak and tossed it,over his arm, and then
proceeded to wipe the prespiration from his face.
The Govcror looked up with surprise, fixed his
keen eyes upon tho intruder—
‘Who enters here, unannounced, at this hour? ’
he asked sternly, while ho regarded the stran
ger earnestly.
‘One who has information of value for the
Governor General. You are Tacon, I sup
pose ?,'
T am. What would you with mo? or,
rather, how did you pass my guard unchal
lenged V
‘Of that anon. Excellency, you have offered
a Jjandsome reward for information concerning
the rovers of the gulf ? ’ '
‘Ha! yes. What of them ?’ said Tacori, with
undisguised surprise.
‘Excellency, I must speak with caution,’ con
tinued tho new comer; ‘otherwise I may con
demn pnd sacrifice myself.’
‘You have nought to fear on that head- The
oiler for reward for evidence against the scape
graces also vouchsafes a pardon to the inform
ant. You may speak on, without fcarfor your
self, even though you may be one of the very
confederation yourself.’
‘You offer a reward, also, in ndditiop, for the
discovery of Marti—Captain Marti, ofthc smug
glers—do you not ?’
‘We do, and will gladly make good tho pro
mise of reward for any and all information up
on tho subject,’ replied Tacon.’
‘ First. Excellency, do you give mo your
knightly word that you will grant a free pardon
lo me, if I reveal all that yon require to know,
embracing the most secret hiding places of the
rovers ?’
‘I pledge yon my word of honor,’ said the
commander.
‘No matter how heinous in the sight of the
law my offences may have been, still you will
pardon me under the king’s seal ?’
‘I will if you reveal truly. nnd*to any good
purpose, 1 answered Tacon, weighing in his mind
the purpose of all this precaution.
‘Even If I were a leader among the rovers,
myself?’
The Governor hesitated for a moment, can
vassing In a single glance, tho subject before
him. and then said :
‘Even then, be yon whom yon may ; if you
are able and will honestly pilot onr ship, and
reveal tho secrets of Marti and his followers,
you shall be rewarded as our. proffer seta forth,
anfl yourself receive a freo pardon.
‘Excellency, T think I know, your character
well enough to trust you, pr fAsoT should not
have ventured here.* ' A'-A . ....
‘Speak, then ; mv timo is prcQipusA'wag ili.c
Impatient reply of Tacon. - 1 ' : ’ /■' v
‘Then excellency, the man for whom you
hove offered tho largest reward, dead or alive, i?
now before you !’
‘And you are—’
•‘Marti! 1 .
•-The Governor-General .drow’ baek in
ishment. and .cast his- eyes toward?.a brace, of
pistols that lay within reach ofhis right hand;
but it wiwonlv for a single moment, when ho
again assumed entire Self-control and - said:
■ ‘I fchall keep my promise, air, provided you
arc faithful, though the laws call loudly foryour
punishment, and even now you orc-in my pow
er. To fnsuro your faithfulness, you must re
main at present under guard. Saying which
ho rang a silver bell by his side, and issued a
verbal order to the attendant who answered it.
Immediately after tho officer of tho watch en
tered, and Marti was placed in confinement,
with orders to render him comfortable until he
was sent for. His name remained a secret with
tho commander; and thus the night scone
closed.
On tho following day. ono of tho mcn-of-war
that lay idly beneath the guns of Moro Castle,
suddenly became the scene of the utmost activ
ity. and, before noon, had weighed her anchor,
and was standing out into the gulf-stream-.
Marti, tho smuggler, was on board as her pilot,
and faithfully did he guide the ship, on the dis
charge of his treacherous business, among the
shoals and bays of the coast for nearly a month,
revealing every secret haunt of tho rovers, ex
posing their most valuable depots and- well se
lected rendezvous ; and many a smuggling craft
was taken and destroyed. The amount of mon
ey and property thus recovered was very great;
and Marti returned with the ship to claim his
reward from tho Governor-General, who, well
satisfied with tho manner ip which tho rascal
had fulfilled his agreement and betrayed those
comrades who were too, faithful to bo tempted
to treachery themselves, summoned Marti be
fore him.
‘As you have faithfully performed your part
of our agreement,* said tho Govcrnpr-Gencral,
‘I am now prepared to comply with tho articles
on my part. In this package you will find free
and unconditional pardqn for all your past of
fences against tho laws. And hero is an order
on tho treasury for—’
•Excellency, excuse mo, tho pardon I gladly
receive. As to tho sum of money you propose
to give to me,let mo make a proposition. Retain
tho money ; and, in placo of it, guarantee to mo
tho right to fish in the neighborhood of tho city,
and declare tho trade in fish contraband to all
except my agents. This will richly repay rao,
and I will erect a public market of stone at my
own expense, which shall be an ornament to the
city, and which, at tho expiration of a certain
number of years, shall revert to tho government,
with all tho right and title to tho fishery.*
Tncon was pleased at tho idea of a superb
fish market, which should eventually revert to
tho government, and also at the idea of saving
tho largp sum of money covered by the promis
ed reward. Tho singular proposition of tho
smuggler was duly 'considered and acceded to
and Marti was declared in legal form.to possess,
for tho future, tho sole right to fish in tho neigh
borhood of tho city, or to sell tho article in any
form, and he at once assumed.all the rightsjthat
tho order guaranteed to him. Having in liis
roving life learned all tho best fishing grounds,
lie furnished tho City bountifully with tho arti
cle, and reaped yearly an immense profit, until
at tho close of tho period for which tho monop
oly was granted, he was tho Tidiest' man on tho
island* According to tho agreement tho fine
market and its privilege reverted to tho govern
ment (it tho timo specified, and tho monopoly
has ever since been rigorously enforced.
Marti, now possessed of wealth,
looked about him, to sco in what way*h6 could
most-profttably invest it to insure a handsome
and sure return.' Tho idea struck him if ho
could obtain tho monopoly of theatricals In Ha
vana, on some such conditions as ho had done
10 ”Bht to fish off its shore*, ho could
stm further increase his ill-gotten wealth. 110
obtained tho monopoly, on condition that ho
should erect ono of tho largest and finest thea
tres in tho world, which ho did, locating tho
same just ontsido tho city walls. With tho
C|nuilions of tho monopoly tho writer is not
conversant. •
Tliore nro sixty Wrths owl loath, In tho
world ovary second.
“OUR COUNTRY—JIAY IT ALWAYS BE OB WRONG, OUR COUNTRY.”
DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND.
-Wo hare recently como, into' possession of
facts in regard to a very pecQliar Real Estate
transaction in this city, tho details of which arc
interesting as illustrative of character, as well
as of the method of doing business which Is
considered sharp by a certain class of business
men.
Some time since, a gentleman, whom we will
call Sir. A., purchased a piece of ground in
Murray street, on which was an old building,
which ho proceeded to tear down intending to
erect in its place a building 4noro suitable for
the transaction of his business. About tho same
time, whom we shall call
Mr. 8., purchased the adjoining lot, and pro
ceeded in tho same manner to take down the old
building standing upon it, so that the work of
demolition proceeded upon both at the same
time. After this had been concluded, Mr. A.,
being ready to build himself, and supposing,
quite ndturally, that his neighbor would prefer
building at tho same time, paid him a visit in
relation to the ihattcr, when he was boorishly
informed by Mr. B. that ho should 'build when
ho pleased.’ Of course, ns Mr. A. could not
gainsay his right in this respect, the only meth
od left for him was'lo go on by himself. This
he accordingly did, and had progressed so far
as to have his- building ‘covered in,’ when ho
was surprised one day by a visit from his irate
neighbor. ‘Sir.’ says Mr. 8., ‘you arc an inch
on my ground I’ Mr. A. rejoined that ho tho’t
it must be a mistake. ‘No sir, it is no mistake
—you are an inch on my ground.’ ‘Well.’ re
turned Mr. A., ‘all I can say is, if it is so, 1 am
very sorry, and it is altogether unintentional;
but I am willing to pay you whatever you say
the land is worth.’ *1 want no pay, sir,’ an
swcredMr. B.; Twant my land !’ ‘Sir,’says
Mr. A., ‘I see it is hopeless to try to compro
mise this matter with you, but I will give ypu
double whatever you say the land is worth,.rath
er than take dowh my wall.’ ‘1 want no mon
ey—l want my land,’ persisted the stubborn
Mr. B. Argument and entreaty were alike un
availing, and Mr. A. accordingly proceeded to
take down and rebuild his wall, lie was per
mitted to finish his building now without furth
er interruption.
Shortly afterwards. Mr. B. concluded to build
on his lot, and masons and carpenters were sot
at work to accomplish the object. Tho Work
progressed finely—story* after story went up as
if by magic ; and our friend Mr. B. watched
tho operations day hy day with increasing in
terest, in confident anticipation of being able to
occupy the premises by a certain period. At
length the building was entirely finished, from
foundation to cap-stone—tho workmen had de
parted with their tools—the rubbish had been
cleared away—and Mr. B. was complacently
congratulating himself on its successful accom
plishment, when he was astonished by a visit
from his neighbor, Mr. A. ‘Sit),'’ said ho. ‘I
nip sorry to inform you that you arena inch on
. WV ground! 1 ‘Pooh! nonsense!’returned Mr.
B. -‘lt's no. nqnscnso at all,'said Mr. A.: ‘1
tell you you an inch on my ground.’ ‘Why.
how can that be,’ blustered Mr. 8.. twhcn l
havo up to ?’;.‘Ah, that’s
it!’ inline driest aftsfrered Mr.
i . Our'frienfi, Mri3*. : was’‘somewhat-dumb-’
, founded; ! , Sond7or4 i si') ir.! afj Tc?jg[fr
he exploded,' ‘and ,w<nl.Sco..about
surveyor was’accordingly sent for, who,‘Witlia
careful measurement of the respective premises,
reported to the crest-fallen Mr. 8., that it was
indeed true—ho was occupying an inch more
land tharfho was entitled to. A proposition to
buy that inch—coming.it must bo confessed,
with a bad'groce fronvnim—was now advanced
by Mr. B. ‘No, sir,’ returned Sir. A., T shall
not sell ; you cannot offer me money enough to
buy that inch ofland. Take down your wall,
sir-—down with it to the foundation: *T want
my land!’ Mr. B. came to the conclusion that
the game was decidedly against him, and yield
ed with tho best grace ho could. The wall was
taken down and ro-ercctod ; and so careful was
our very particular friend this timo not to tres
pass, that he buiU an inch short of where he
had a right to go." It is perhaps necessary to
explain to the reader that Mr. A. had done the
same thing in the first instance.— N. Y. Times.
An Africaif Storm.
Tho air is at ono moment pcrfccllv calm, the
next wild with terrific storms. The sky, so
sweetly serene at noon, shall, before half an
hour passes, be darkened by clouds which
shroud tho land as with a pall. For months the
long droughts parch tho earth, the rivers may
bo forded on foot, the flocks and herds pant for
refreshing waters and green herbage. Sudden
ly "a cloud no bigger than a man’s hand” ap
pears on tho horizon, and lo ! the elements rage
, and swell, thunder booms upon tho air, dark
ness covers the land,,the arrows of tho Almigh
ty dart firom tho angry heavens, striking death
and terror wheresoever they full. From the far
desert an overpowering torrent of sand comes
sweeping on, obscuring the air, and making its
way into your very house, in snch profusion
that you may trace characters in its dry depths
on tho window sil. The skies open, the floods
descend, the rivers burst their bounds, trees are
uprooted from the saturated carlh> and through
tbojoof of your dwelling tho rain beats heavi
ly, the walls crack, the plaster fulls, the beams
that support tho thatch groan and creak with
“melancholy moan,” tho voices of angry spir
its seem to shout and howl around you, tho
poor birds, tho cattle disturb you with their low
ing, tho dogs bowl, and tho unearthly tones of
tho Kaffir or flngo herdsman’s song arc no
agrcechlc addition to the wild scene stirring be
fore you. Tho tempest subsides as suddenly
as It rose; the voices of tho storm spirits die
aw# in the distance over tho mountain tops,
the dark pall of clouds it rent by a mighty hand,
•the swolleitfrivcrs rush on, bearing evidences of
devastation, but subsiding at Inst into a more
measured course; the sun lights up tho valleys
and hill sides, the air is dearer, the sky bright
er, than ever; and but for tho history of de
vastation, and oftentimes of death, and the
knowledge that for weeks tho country will be
subject to these violent convulsions of nature,
the terrors of tho tempest would soon bo forgot
tea.— Five years in Rnjjirland.
iC7*A pretty woman is one of tho ‘institu
tions’ of this country—an angel in dry goods
and glory. She makes sunshine, blue skv,
fourth of July, and happiness, wherever sue
goes. Ifcr path is one of delicious roses, per
fume and beauty. She is a sweet poem written
in rate curls, and choice calico and good prin
ciples. Men stand up before lie}-, ns ho many
admiration points, to melt into cream and then
butter. Her words float round tho car 15ko
music, birds of Paradise, or tho chimes of Sab
bath hells; Without her, society would lose its
truest attraction, the church its firmest reli
ance, and young men tho very best of comforts
and company. Her influence and generosity
restrain the vicious, strengthen tho weak, raise
lowly, flannel shfrt, the heathen, and pluckcn
tho faint-hearted. Wherever you find tho virtu
ous woman, you also find pleasant firesides,
taste, bouquets, clean clothes, order, good liv
ing, gentle hearts, piety, music, < light, and
model institutions generally.' She is tho flower
of humanity, a very Venus in dimity, and her
inspiration is the breath of heaven.
CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 1854.
Missionaries of the Sivord'Jn Turkey.
, An American gentleman, \vbQL.;}vrUes from
Varna under a recent date, sdp v a\lfopuful
fact” In the presence of the Ankld-I’rdncli ar
my, if not sun-burst, it is a glcanxjw light through
the is plcasrimec,to contem
plate than a anilTfcaps of
slain. An oxs#6fcv will pro§c it' this libpeflul
view: rfor] \ i
The indolent Turks and droni ig,btfmtrt(£un..
energetic Bulgarians are being startled from a i
sloop.of cemhrios by thd’iohomus blast' of the i
English bugle, and the lively ™b-a-dub of the
French drum, and nro getting alglimpso of the.
restless, busy all-achieving, ail-pursuing actlVl r .
ty of the .IVeatern world. tulbwliat
stupendous changes the spectacle of ill this sys
tem, subordination, prdibjflneaa'.in
action, brevity in discussion, vigor. perse-,
vcrenco in labor may produce Icharacter
and habits of all the races by which /Jiis vast
empire is pcopled'l, A thoroughfare ;|is found
too narrow for cart or horses, tUio evil j s felt
daily; but the Turks are content Iqsitfor it year
after year, as their fathers suCercqnt before
thorn. No sooner do the giaours arrive than j
than twenty English sappers open up a new road I
by breaking a passage through ‘the town wall, |
while ton more of their’number set to work to I
cut stone for gateway. The Turks lift I
their hands in wonderh and as (he Pasha rides i
through the gap, I wonder docs he not’ft*cl that 1
a now era is dawning on his poonlfj-imd that the |
few remaining bound’ tliumdu their !
jiristlno barbarism are being 'snapped asunder ?
It seems to mo to bo, ,ono of the ny>st hopeful I
facts of our timo, that tho armies M tlio Really ;
groat arid free states of tho world flr.6 becoming I
pioneers of civilization and instead oC
being tho emissaries of violence and destruction.' I
They are now tho bearers of noVl Ideas, of liborr
ty and knowledge to regions sot for!
ages in darkness. No onotvlU say that the I
French occupation of Algerlahatf neft been preg
nant with good for tho vast Qxteht'of.tjio African
coast which boarders on tho Mfdltqvranean.—
British armies have secured to'a lmhdred mil
lions of people in India moro pqJCe end securi
ty in a single century, than thoywvupbefore en
joyed In thrice that period..v
expedition in tho East is hotluofejy an armed
defence of tho rigid against the wrohg-d6er, but
! a great company of missionaries, Svho teach civ
ilization, and instill jns'tlc.o, and
I equality by tho force of example, The Turk is
! learning from thorn tvhat ho incvVr.could have
learned in any other way—the folly i>f the pride
which made him fancy himself tbd:<ih7c of* man
kind,’ and how immeasurably Inferior he is to the
Christians,.both in tho arts.tli.lt tend to create
social comfort and happiness,avnd those which
defend na&bnal honor and independence. Tho
soidlory and peasantry are io-vVu»og that in the
far-off-corners of tho world Ih'A;a arc great na
tions, mighty by land and mighty by sea, wealthy
and bravo, who care not a jot for the Sultan, the
Koran,*or tho Prophet, and *iji whoso- eyes a
Mussulman fs no better than arayah, who re
specimen os men only; ond sc&ul at distinctions
of creeds. Tho Bulgarian, thorfhtchcd bonds
man, who for centuries has siiJt'rcly; dared to
lift Ins head and look upon the Oca of bis’eon
queror, sees for tbo first time ‘.nrm'e'd stalwart
men who could,cniult him and -his master, pis
tols, yataghan and nil, by a single Wpw,'respect
ing his weakness," doing-Ju'ni foil justice; -and
paying him punctually iiv hard
■ crash. ThcafTpJit.CzarAn'd^i.^^Y-atQwhom
■
dosfhjg'ljln‘{r'hqjkFfipflih ’hlf?' ’• Tliq
■effect hfXmtiW wlll-bo, fn /uy'Vv/nnfoiJi that ore
tho war la oVcr, tho I’uric will havo coaeod io
domineer, the rayah will have risen to a senso
of his rights rind will hove tho spirit to defend
them; old prejudices will die out, there will bo
a gradual blending of tho various races of tho i
| empire, and you will havo in Turkey a barrier
I against (ho Northern bugbear, which in future i
i wars will need no European aid to uphold it.— '
Are not all these results worth fighting for?
Efpkcts of llaiu 02* GllASS.— Tlio New
York Tribune says:—A few years ago the pur
chasers of hog-hair at Terre Haute,-Inti., car
ried it out upon the prairie and spread it on
the grass to dry. This wns.hi tlic fall and win
ter. After being washed with the rains, it was
raked up, U-aving a portion sticking in the grass.
In tho spring this was the earliest green spot,
and continuctAto bo the sweetest, os was pro?,
ed by the cattle rcsorPfng there to feed. Uy
and by one of them died, then anothcrVnd an
other, though apparently, fat and healthy.—
Then one was opened to ascertain tho cause of
death, and afterward others for curiosity. In
the stotnachs of those that had fed most upon
tin's hair manured spot, were found two or
three dozen hair balls; such as wo used to bo
told when a boy were ‘witch balls.* We have
seen them three inches in diameter and solid as
it is possible to compact hair; tpgethcr. Tho
calamity grew sq, serious that the owners of
entile had to plow up the ground and turn under
the sod and its rich manuring, which continued,
to show its effects for years. ■< •
Hair balh} are often found in the stomachs of
cnttlcon the farm, from a morbid appetite, cat
ing "their own or another’s, or wpen tho swine
have been butchered; and perhaps oftener pro
duce death than is imagined. To prevent ac
cidents, let all the hair bo plowed under; it is
very valuable manure. ■ *
Value op Punr.iCiTV.—Notoriety or publici
ty is an indispensable element of success to the
merchant, mechanic, or manufacturer, who
would give n speedy and wide distribution to
thecommoditica and productions which ho seeks
to exchange for money. lie may have capital,
skill, convenient position, punctuality, indus
try, and honesty—every possible-fitness for his
business—and all is nothing if ho have not
sufficient notoriety. This notoriety, let it cost
more of-lcss, be must purchase or provide for
as carefully as ho purchases or manufactures
his stock of goods. And it must in extent hear
a certain relation to the .business ho would do.
It must bo both positive and comparative. Pco-
CIo must not only know him and Ins business,
ecauso otherwise they will not find him, but
they must know him because otherwise they
will find and trade with those who nro belter
known. Customers, like sheep, are gregarious,
and flock where they see others flocking. If
nohody else were engaged in thosomo business,
it would bo important for our dealer to odver
tisoin tho newspapers, because people are tempt
ed to buy what they read of. It la like having
a salesman with several thousands of voices,
speaking politely of your wared, to tens of
thousands of people, perhaps at the same
moment, never offending, never gbtrusivo, never
tired—such a salesman might bo worth one,
two, three, or five thousand a year to you—ac
cording to the number of bis voices—might ho
not ?
Hut if others are engaged in the same bust*
ness, oven if they do not advertise, it becomes
the more important for our dealer to do so, and
if they do advertise, it becomes doubly impor
tant. It becomes, In fact, ruin not to bo known
as extensively as liis rivals, ns it is the flood
tide of fortune to bo known more extensively. .
Important Mimtaky Appointments.-tH 1»
said that the Governorship 'of the IT.• S. Milita
ry Asylum, near Washington Oily, tor one
year from the first of November next, lias boon
tendered by tho Asylum Hoard of Commission
ers, of whom Gen. Scott Is the chelf, to Col. M.
M. Payne, of tho 4th Artillery, Hfr 8. A.
tnrTho Oiiincsp proverb aiiyfh’ft'lie has no
legs, and cannot standi bullions wings, ana
con fly fhr ami wide. -p*
lore, Suicide and Marriogc.
On Monday wo gave a brief account of
an attempt at ‘self-destruction with a pis
tol at Ypsilanti, by a young lady, who ar
rival from Chicago in search of a young man
who had been trifling with her affections, to
‘break an honest promise in love/ The young
lady was not one of that kind who
“Never told her lovo,
But lot concealment, Hko a worm i’ tho bud,
Feed on he domask check ;
And with a green and yellow melancholy,
Sat like Patience on a metaumont
\ - Smiling at grief/*
SK(isallied out in search of her truent lover,
„whs Yps'ilanti. She came prepared for
On her arrival, “the girl he
IcTtbcKirid 1 /' him, found he was absent at Adri
an', and she tried to shoot herself to assuage her
grief. The mother of the young man, suppos
ing ho had been playing falsely with the fair
one, immediately set her off in chargcof another
son, —giving .him a hundred dollars to pay ex
penses.—to hunt up the undutiful boy and get
an explanation, and have full justice meted
out, if justice was in the premises.
After starting for Adrian the two proceeded
cosily on the road as far as Saline, —a distance
of nine miles—from whence, tho nest day, the
mother very unexpectedly received a letter from
her son, saying that after looking the subject
all over, he had concluded to marry the girl
himself, that tho job had been done up, and
that they had concluded to proceed on to New
York, Saratoga, Nahant, &c., See., to spend the
honey-moon, and the—one hundred dollars.
After making tho acquaintance of the broth
er she evidently said to herself that,
“Now my love is thaw’d,
"Which* like a waxen imago ’gainst a fire,
* Bears no Impression ofQie thing it was,”
toward the ’other brotherfftt Adrian. Under
the circumstances, inasmuch as it was “all iu
the family,” and a “bird in tho hand is worth
two In the bush.” she concluded to take the
one she could make sure of. Surely, tho ‘course
of true love never did run smooth/ —Detroit
Advertiser .
As duo 1! to U True.
Sbmd one writing from Washington to a west
ern jdttrpal, gives the following :
“My attention was called lo.an old gentle
man, an office holder here, on the street 10-day,
of whom' there is a story told, so amusing that
1 cannot refrain from giving it to the readers of
the Tribune: *
“Major W., some twenty years ago, lived m
North Carolina, and was the only man in his
section of the country who could read. The'
Major took a newspaper—the only one sent to
that part of North Carolina at that time—and
his neighbors for many miles around would
gather at his blacksmith shop every’ Sunday
rooming to hear him read the paper, and thus
keep posted up concerning news. "Whatever
tlie Major read was witfi a conlidcnt
faith in its truth, very unljkoSvhat is entertain
cd by readers of newspapers nowa-days. It
happened one rooming that he got: his papers
niixed—he having carefully preserved all that !
ho had cVer rcc^vcd —and instead qf getting the
latest, nickedup one of twenty years before.—
•Whch his neighbors nsftciublcd, - the Major read
; .*$!»& abatement Jbat thqJJrittfh
| tinder Gon.-Tloas, had burnt Washington 4ml
1 .wcrc-marching upon Baltimore; and also pro
clamations calling the people to amis to repel
the’ invaders. It created the wildest excite
ment, and immediately a company of fifty rifle
men was formed, with the Major at their head,
who forthwith inarched for Washington. Their
astonishment on learning that they had been
humbugged, may be well conceived. Major
W. was deeply chagrined and never went back
to North Carolina, and Gen. Jackson was so
well pleased with the spirit with which ho re
sponded to what seemed his country’scall, that
he gave him a good cilice, which he has held
ever since*-. Ibis also said that the North Caro
lina volunteers never again had anything to do
with newspapers, and the Major did not divulge
to them the real fact of the case.
Fuß.vcn Rauiuts.— A gentleman, relating
tho incidents of his travels while in Paris, says;
I entered a restaupmt and ordered o rabbit. I
was green—verdaht os k thc first cucumber, even
ofTCJlrly peas—or I should not have done thus.
Tho rabbit came, and I offered tbe Monitcur to
an old Frenchman opposite, whose eyes were
fixed upon my plate, but he bowed a negative.
Tho bow puzzled me. It was 100 much.
“Monsieur has not been long in Paris ?’
‘No, I have just arrived.’ -
•Monsieur is going to cat that ?’
‘Yes; may I offer you a slice V
•Monsieur will allow mo to make a slight ob
servation P inquired the Frenchman with a
frightful grimace.
‘Certainly,’ I replied, becoming alarmed.
‘Monsieur, that rabbit once mewed,’ho re
plied, with the utmost gravity.
No False Colous. —When tho,bravo Ad
miral Kcmpcnfeldt, unhappily lost in tho Roy
al George, was coming into port to have ms
ship paid oil’, eyed a gold-laced velvet
waistcoat, which his commander wore, with
great earnestness, and in his beat sea fashion,
begged to know who made it.
Tho Admiral perceiving his drift, gave him
the necessary information, and Jack went on
shore. He forthwith applied to the Admiral’s
tailor, who went with him to buy tho materi
al's, and at hist 6skcd:
‘What will you have tho back made of?'
•Made if,’ said Jack, ‘the same os tho front
to bo sure.’
Tho tailorrcmonstratcd, but in vain : so the
waistcoat was made, and put on with an old
greasy jacket over it.
Shortly after, tho Admiral met his man in
this curious dress, which occasioned him to
laugh heartily; and this merry fit was not n
Htlloincrcased,’when Jack, coming up to him,
lifted tho hind part of his jacket, showed his
gold-laced back, and exclaimed:
‘See hero, my old boy, no false colors, stem
and stern alike.’
Conviction unher tub New Liquor Law.—
The flrst conviction in Philadelphia, under tho
now Law prohibiting sales of liquor to minors,
drunkards and Insane persons, took place be
fore Judge Kelly In tho Quarter Sessions on
Thursday. Peter Plum, a Gorman tavorn-koo
por, was arraigned on complaint of Mary Hon- 1
oher, for selling liquor lo her husband, an In
temperate person, alter repeated notice to de
sist. Ho had also sold liquor to ono of her lit
tle boys,'and mado him, ns sho described it,
“beastly drunk.” Plum was convicted on Mrs.
Jlonohcr’a testimony, and sentenced to a flno of
$6O and costa, and imprisonment for GO days.—
Tho Court also ordered him to pay tho prose
cutrix $lO In addition, under a provision of tho
law, for her trouble in bringing him to Justice.
(E 7" Don’t squint, and If you do so naturally,
have your oyos straightened. A young friend
of ours nearly had Ids oyos stroachcd out. Ho
had boon long courting a lady up town, but al
ways lu tho presence o( her slater. Ho called
nt tho houso of his charmer n night or two ago,
and was asked by both to declare his Inten
tions. Doth said ho winked at them, but ho
would not plead guilty to havo done so to
more than ono and tho slighted beauty gave
him “Josso” for it.
AT $2,00 PER ANNUM.
NO. 13.
A New Dear Story.
Tlio following, wliich wos translated from ft
French paper, “Courier do Turact-Garoua,”
for tho Northern Gazette, of Kecsville, N. V,,
throws all known modes of limiting In the
shade ;
For about a month a bear, whoso gigantic
proportions had obtained for him tho name of
Goliah, was spreadiug terror for him in tho
neighboring Snpcrpagncrs, on tho mountains
which onclrclo tho vally of Luclion, when, day ,
before yesterday, a largo party of hunters left ut
six o’clock, accompanied with two guides, who
easily found out tho spot whore bruin was in tho
habit of putting up for the night.
After some thirty minutes of patient and si
lent watching, tho teniblo animal was seen ma
king his appearance. Tho shooting irons were
drawn upon him, but, whether owing to chance
or nervousness of the hunters, tho bcarreciored
their flro without carrying oft’ tho lortst particle
oflead in his skin. Goliah throw himself furi
ously upon one of tho dogs that were worrying
him, and, haring torn tho poor thing to pokes,
retired contentedly to his lair. The hunters
were compelled to abandon’tho pursuit of their
game for that day. and adjourned his death or
capture ton more favorablu.opportumty, mid re
turned to Luchon, sumewhatwhamed ( >f hav
ing missed their prey.
The same evening each man was manifesting
his disappointment, wimp Dr. i’agot—who Is
ono of the wittiest Medics in Pyrenees—cried i
suddenly: I
“Gentleman, If you will say as 1 dq, wc shall
return in pursuit of master, do id or alive, in (
Luchon at night. Only take a few tilings besides
what wo had to day, our cloaks, some wool[im
blankets, and especially some stout iron hfilirt
and we’ll start at seven o’clock, the very latest
The rendezvous is fixed at tlm Hold do Lons
- To-morrow, then, gentlemen,* and be, ns
sanguine of success as I am.
We were punctual lo tlm appointment, and
proceeded on our expedition nt fifteen nlin
utespftMlsoven. At lulf-pasf ten we had r.nirh'-
cd Urn* bights of Superhatrneni. where consider
able snow hail fallen dining the night, but it
did not hoar a slnglo.'track of the giant, and we
inferred pretty ctjfrecHy that the fellow was still
in his don. T)ifti.Was exactly what Dr. Peg»l
wished should bfrtho case. Said he :
“G-ontloman, Pwnnl to close gradually about
tho cavern, and hold your poices ready for oxo
cution, while 1 do my~ part of the business.—
You will place tho bars of iron across the
mouth of the den. Ami umv, pehtleratft, wo
shall administer chloroform to Übliah, and car*,
ry him, sound asleep, to Luchon !*’
When flip cloaks ami blankets had been hung
upon the bars of Iron in such a manner as io ex
clude, completely, tho Introduction of *nir
into the cave, the doctor thrust a force pump
'through a small aperture in one of the blankets,
and projected a quantity of chloroform into tI»Q
bear’s quarters.* As soon ns the instrument had
played to tho doctor’s satisfaction, ho cried,-
“CMTwith the blankets!” AndVhlprodlg-iofl's 1
■ —there lay before «s tho victim of onajathetlc
ngcnlfy motionless, and In a snooze. StIU -Vo
stOpcLon guard and kept <>ur “heady .drawn
(upon tho black mass, “hon’tllo .aftald,” cx-
Dr. Pogot j “I’U anawcfTforv.lWra.' —
Now, let us bind tho bear, construct a'Uttcr,
and wo’U carry GoUaU to thc.gQod.town of XiU
chon, where wo shall make a trlumphauVcn
franco to-night., '
Accordingly, aftor a delicious and merrj
i lunch, wo placed the bcaroiYa dUtcr, and turn
l cd, Upward care, .howotcr, to.
I hold n buttle ofctfrorbfoim’ under thohVufo’fi
ridso, In order to, kocp hlm sllH in tho embrace
of Alorphous. ‘lV’e ,reached tho city al' O'd’clcck; i
and found tho streets illuminated to greet our
entrance. Tho hbro of., tho day, Dr. Pcgot,
headed tho precision, Which inarched to the
town hall, where Gollah, still asleep, was pi a
ccd In a'engo, ono occupied by a fo»
male of bis own species, which tho shephards
of (lie mountain had snatched from her moth
er’s tender cares a short time before.
Largo numbers of visitors crowd around Go
liah’s cage everyday, and the old fellow looks
as though ho owed Dr. Pegot a grudge for hav
ing applied chloroform to a new purpose of no
great importance.
Daniel Wkiistrk. —Bishop Walnwrlghl re
lates the touching incident beautifully illustra
tive of the religious yearnings ol the late Dan
iel Webster :
‘•Soon after I returned from Egypt rind the
Holy Land, heaving that Mr. Webster was in
town, I called upon him at the Astor, ns I was
always accustomed to do. Ilia reception of
me was most cordial and affectionate. He as
ked me many (locations as to my Eastern tmv.
els, and ns I rose to go away, ho took me bi
lbo hand and said, “I want you to do one thing
for mo. Von hnvo been over to Palestine. —
I wish to get the best map I can command, and
have you sit down with mo one hour—but one
hour. I wish to go with you tVom place to
place—Dolhlehnm, Nazareth, Jerusalem, the
sea of Galilee. Jordan, Bethany, the Mount of
Olivos, and tell me, as I point, how it looks;
the hills, the trees, the rocks, thb lantKdho wa
ter. I can never go there, hut I woujcflook as
noarlv as I can upon every spot sanstified by
the presence of our blessed Lord, while taber
nacled In the flush.” His eyes tilled with tears,
and ho earnestly pressed my hand. Multitudes
of emotions swelled my heart. I returned the
pressure, and In silence departed.”
DiiAw-BiunGK Pus of Getting a Wifi;.
—One of the most celebrated bankers of Europe
at present, is Mr. , the chief partner of
the house of ‘•Hope & Go.” This gentleman
was a simple clerk in the great house he now
controls, when he was sent to London, to nego
tiate some business with the Barings, tlAftcnts
successful completion, having meantime been
hospitably entertained by the heads of the house
to which ho was sent, the Amsterdam clerk
requested an interview with Mr. Baring and de
manded his daughter’s hand in marriage.
•Vou dream, sir,’ said Mr. Baring, ‘you are
but a clerk’—
'But if I were ft partner in the house of Ilojie? 1
‘Ah, then the case would be different V
The clerk went home and asked ft private in
terview with Mr. Ifono. Without preliminary
he requested to bo taken in to the Arm ns ft
partner.
‘What? and without capital, nnd yourself
wholly undistinguished ?* said Mr. Hope.
‘But if I were the son-in-law of Mr. Baring?’
‘Ah, then there might bo a propriety in it!’
By skillfully letting down these two sides of
the draw-bridge which might cover the chasm
in his expectations, the clerk managed to get a
wife by a fortune, and a fortune by a wife, and
arrived ftt his present eminent position.
How Sms Felt. —A lady friend ot ours says
the first time she was kissed by a ‘‘feller,” she
felt like a big tub of roses swlmlrifc in honey
colonge, nutmeg and chcckelborlcs. She also
felt ns if something was Tanning through her
nerves on foot of diamonds, escorted by several
little cuplda In chariots drawn by angels, sha
ded by honeysuckles, the whole spanned by
molted rainbow. Jerusalem! what power there
is in n double-breasted kiss !
Aiubtoobatio,—The lady who did not think
It respectable to bring up her children to work
has lately hoard from her two sons. One of
thbm Is bar-keeper on ft flat-boat, and the other
is steward of a brick-yard.
(£y"Kccp in good (spirits. It helps on diges
tion, sweetenh sldqr, makes you ftcccptfthlo to
the ladies, keepsyour hair from.turnlug gray,
and most generally gets your feet into the golden
bools of matrimony. ‘ Nothing like good spir
its^
How a FeJloiV brought in the Muins;;V
In a county near by, tin election was bold Ibr
tho office of High Sheriff. Three popular,
didntes wore in tho' field, and their cbancesof
success were about equal. .Never, itissala,-
did tho yeomanry of, that county, ontef
boldly into a political contest than bn fhlsob*
cnslon. Thousands upon thousands of dollars'
had been staked upon tho result, and this cir
cumstance, perhaps, lent rauchto the enthusi
asm manifested by tho people. • ‘ r V v -'f .
On the morning of- the election, runnors prdr
vided with fleet horses, wero dispatched to oil -
the different polls of thocountiy, who wofrotft
bring in tho returns to the county scat—a ho-•
tel which was the head quarters of tho, ithnjcr
partidfc?'. ‘ 1
Wo will pass‘over, tho many exciting and
amusing occurrences of the day, and recur to
(ho closing scene of tho night. The returns
were all in, with tho exception of one township,
and tho contest thus far so close, tho .disparity
between tho highest and lowest' candidates was
less than ton votes. The fate of.lhO three, can
didates hung upon tho. result ot that' ono-polK
Each claimed n handsome mo-
Ijorlty In the remaining township—but aseacb
j had boon declared by tho votes of the balance,
| flic result in this, was in extreme doubt. Tho
I throe competitors became oxceedlngiyalanncdj
the fWonds of each were thrown Into a state of
painful anxiety, and the sporting -gentlemen
foil as though they had embarked in a hazard
ous enterprise. - ..
In tho stillness of tho night, (ho clatter of A a
horse’s feet was faintly heard in tho distance.
Tho shout of “he’s coming,” gave general no- ' •
tico of tho fact. As the messenger neared them •'
—the noble animal flying as it wore under whip .
and spur—they full back on' either side, and .
oponed'n passage to receive him. In ho dash
ed, repardless'of human life, and hauling up „
siuldcnly under tho dim light of tho lamp, with ,
watch ho exclaimed—“five hundred dollars
that hotter time was never made t ten miles in
-only twenty minutes I and by a three year colt
at that I” -
A (loatb-liko stillness 'provnded tho crowd,
as tbo ruunor*continucd to cxpaclato- upon tho
speed and qualities of his colt—a matter. In;
which no onu but himself seemed- to fool.any
interest, just at that time—tho “return” being
the only thing which could interest the crowd
at this juncture. “The returns!’* interrupted’
a voice in tho crowd. “Thirty-eight mgjori-■
ity !**ans«ered tho runner. “For whOf”
inaiflftkthe same voice in the crowd.
tlcmnrt; all 1 knew about it Is that’’ somo feller
I got thirty.eight majority; but who tho d—l •
it was, 1 can’t toll ; hut one thing 1 'know,’and
(hut is, that you cun just bet your life on tho’»
Ijoss.”
'J." \\ r u have since frequently beard of this mart,
who is now universally known and called In the
neighborhood hy tho cognomen of “the fellowt
that brought iu the returns.”
..‘‘lLvriXfi up # Kotes,”*—lt.was an almost
universal custom somb.jtwcnty or thirty, years'
sineditfohr New England parishes, w henever a
birdi’tciok place in a Comity* for tho fortunate'
recipients pf thirfgifltojiavo'anotb up on tho
succeeding Sabbath rcnddingi'thanks for mer-,
ries feccived.’ such bring the invariable phrase^'
ology* ' >
In tho -town of B ' flourished an'old .
maid af/EQino forty summers, who, by the ca- ,
price of a relative, fell heiress to a considerable '
legacy,/Overjoyed-at her good fortune, she v
could do no less than have tip a note of thanks*
Ikihgsomcwlmt at a loss for phraseology, shoj
unconsciously Tell into the old form, so that her
nolo'read ns follows: “Tahitha Temple defeirea
to express her gratitude,tot* Od for mercies re*-'
edveu.” The minister who ro.d it, being on
an exchange, and therefore unacquainted with
.the circumstances, formed the verv natural cotf--
elusion; that the ‘mercy received’ was a child*
lie accordingly prayed very fervently that ‘tho 1
phild might be brought up in the nurture and
and admonition ofihe Lord, and prove a com
fort and a blesshSg to its parents.* When ho'
concluded, his petition, he was astonished to find
the whole audience making ineffectual efforts to'
■ suppresslheir mirth—w’hiloMiss Tahitha was;
! sitting in evident perturbation of mind—her;
, face overspread by a deep crimson flush. ' Slid
never ventured to put up another note. •
. ■ - IC7* ‘‘Torrybssc.s* iimch 'virtu man,” sank ’
> the doctor as ho ushered Mrs. Partington’ in -
; ;
i and Uid. fromTbmpeil, Ac&'itbti ? .
ske!cton;Of Uio turtic; nrjd-lhe many beautiful
j (hingsrT?ent to him by. fLo society of Paris. .' “I
suppose, "said she, slightly erecting her form,
and looking down upon a nolo worn in the cats'
pet nbouMho size of a thrcocontpiecc,“l sup* ■
pose I may say that I do possess some, but self-.,
praise dosen't go a great ways.” Tho doctor
blandly nodded and smiled. He opprcciatcd.tho
modesty of the remark, while she thought he /./.
was complimenting her life, the virtue of y.hcfcV
sixty-five years had sanctified. “Doyoutb?*.*
serve,” continued the doctor, “the air of nttli-- • .
quit/about this room 1” “Yes,” ‘
noticed it when I came in, and I sboiUd;ibiflk.
you would improve it by opening the tyiiido'wa.’L
The doctor was slightly confused as he assured. -
her ho meant the general aspect of luB- room, \
with its antique chairs and the parchmctjfcTolltf.-' *
upon the shelves, and went on to cxlqbifc and
explain the various objects of luS coUcotibh.- .
"licre, madnmc,” said lie; “is my|casQo ;-Xr V
shut] myself in here, the world forgetting, by”
the world forgot, and revel In the curiositns oC ;'*■
the past that fortune lias favored mo tvitll. - ”
“Enjoying I suppose,” interrupted she, allcct
•ing the classical, “your opium cum digitalis.” -
There was a pause after this. The doctor held
his breath. The classical remark was a stunner,
and Mrs. I’. went out soon afterwards liko on
exhausted skyrocket.—Boston Post.
Anecdote or Gen. Jackson.—One of tho
most characteristic anecdotes of Qon. Jackson
is related with a great deal of zest by Gem. Cul.
lorn, who was ns ho gays “raised under tho
shadow of the 1101111111160.” As Gen. Jackson's
second term was drawing to a close, tho politi
cians wero vety-anxious to get his “preference.”
It was suspected that lie had determined to go
for .Mr. Van Burcu, but no overt demonstration
had yet been made. A number of Mr. CaH-'.
homi'H shrewdest friends, Loping tho old Gon'; ;V
oral might be induced to go lor their thvorito, •„«
managed to get an invitation to dine at tho
“ White House,” and amidst (ho genialities.oC
wine and familiarity of conversation, tho absor
bing subject of “the succession” was brought’
forward, and cautiously narrowed down to tbo
Important point of tho old General’s preferences,
Tho old man appeared to bo pcrfuctly unsus
pecting, hut Anally said “ho was In favor of
Mr. Van Huron.” Ono of tho inquisitors, not
content, asked, “General, who Is your «cowt'
choker” “By tho Eternal”—said “Old Hick
ory, ” growing Impatient, while Ids eyes fairly
flashed with excitement—“By the Eternal, sir* -
1 never had a second choice in my life,” . .
CAt’onr Fool. —A bachelor friend of oura
passing up tho street yostortay, picked up a
(himblo. lit) stood for a moment meditating od
the probable owner, when pressing ittojits Tipsy
hosnldi “Oh, that It wore the fair Ups ot tlo
wearer.” Just as ho had finished, a big, flit,
ugly, blade wench, looked out of an upper win
dow and salds “Boss, Jis pluaso to frow dat
flmblo in dc entry, I JU drop III” Our friend,
fainted.
A Fair Retort.-—-“ Madam,” said ft cross
tempered physician to a patient, “it women
wore admitted to paradise, their tongues would
make U a purgatory.” “And some physicians,
If allowed to practice there,” replied tho lady,
“would booh make U a desert.”
An Illustration of Scripture.—A travel
ler In Syra says that at the close of tho day tho
roads are filled with wandering herds and flofcbs,
and droves of donkeys, with ono -attendant
herdsman, all returning homo for tho night, af
ter pasture on the neighboring hiiJ-fops.
soon ns they get to (ho outskirts of the village,
each from tho other, nnd unattended
pursues its way to Us master's door.' “Thd ox
knowctklta owner, and tho ass his masters
crib.” ‘
young blood In SuoUerdom, wishing •
to gel a chance to (ell one ol tho iltir ones What
ho thought of her. donned hla best looks, and
addressed her in this wise t~
“Miss can I have tbqoxquisUo-pleasure of
rolling tho wheel of conversation aVoupd tbp|.
axlelrop of your understanding -a few mluuttm.
tills evening f” Tho lady fainted,. 1 ,. - ;