MERICAN VOLUNTEER PUBLISHED EVBR®mm'SDAT MORNING Uy Jolm B. Bratton. TERMSi Dollar ahd Fifty Cents, : bald In advance; Two Dollars if paid within the year? and Two Dollars and Fifty Conts, If not paid within tho year. Those terras will bo rigid-r ly adhered to In every Instance,, No subscription discontinued until all arrearages are paid unless at the option of tho Editor. Advertisements —Accompanied by tho Cash, and not exceeding ono square, will be Inserted three times for one Dollar, and twenty-five conts for each additional Insertion. -Those of tt greater length in proportion. Joii-PniNTiNd—Such as Hand Bills, Posting Bills, Pamphlets, Blanks, Labels, &c., &c., exe cuted with accuracy and at tho shortest notice. . ftottttal. ILLUSION. Whore the golden com is bonding. And the singing reapers pass, £ Where tho chestnut woods arc sending Leafy showers on tho grass, <’ *Tho blue river onward flowing Mingles with its noisy strife, •The murmur of tho.flowers growing, And tho hum of insect lilo. i from that rich plain was gazing towards tho snowy, mountains high, Who their gloaming'ponks were raising Up against tho purple sky. And tho glory of their shining, .. Bathed in clouds of rosy light, Set ray weary spirit pining - so pure and bright! So I lefprao plain, trad weary, ■ Falhubg, yet with hope sustained. Tolled through pathways long and dreary, Till the mountain top was gained. Lo 1 have‘taken, As to shining from;bol6V?i'A - ,V.‘ r Was a desolate, forsdkb&AA.A• * Region of pcrpfctual ihow'.V A" I am faint, my foot aro bleeding, Airmy.focblo'strongtb is worn, In the plain no soul Is heeding, lam hero alone, forlorn. . , s • & Lights are shining, bells ore tolling, . • dn tho busy valo below : Near me night’s black clouds are rolling. Gathering o’er a waste oi^snow. So I watch tho river winging Through the misty fading plain. Bitter are Hie tear-drops blinding, Bitter useless toil qhd.paln. Bitterest of ail the finding That my dream waif false and vain I TOBACCO. Tho Doctor f&ana back on his old'settee, A-smoking a ronk cigar, And he grins a grin, for so pleased la ho Whilst pulling the smoko afar ; And ho piifls and puffs, and ho snuflaand snuffs, Like a mao with a bad catarrh. His boon companion beside him sits, And a stale old quid and chaws, And a plug of tho weed that ho bites into bits, Ilejiolds in his precious paws ; Ancl hq'sits and sits, and squirts and spits The slime from bis juicy jaws. And luippy are they os a pair of twins, A-spUUng and slobbering there, With a dirty spittoon between their shins, Which they hold with the greatest care, Forgetting their debts, forgottingthoirsins, Ane forgetting tho hour of^rayer. But it matters not that they take no pains Tho'wiles of old NlBk'to lirayo,'* Lot them smoko aiid chew, till each.throttle .strains, - ••• \ f>a tho brink of tho 'yawnthg gravo j ' , For men who can thus becloud their brains,: Have surely.no souls to save.- From i ßallou*a History of Ct{ba. THE STORY -OP MARTI, TEE SMUGGLER. Ono of, the most successful villains whose story will bo written in history is ft man named Marti, ns well lenowh.in Cuba'as the person of tho General himself. Formerly he was*££&&&as a smuggler and hnlf pirate on island, being a daring and ac complish of reckless men. At ono time ho of the Isle of tho Pines, wlicro waS 4 his.principal rendezvous, and from whence he despatched his vessels, small fleet crafts, to operate in the neighboring waters. When Tacori landed on the island and became Governor General, ho found the revenue laws in a sad condition, as well as the internal regula tions and oppression, he determined to do some thing in tho way of reform. The Spanish ma rine, sent out to regulate the of the island, lay idly in port, the oflicers pass ing their time on shore, or in giving balls and dances on the decks of their vessels. Tacon saw that one of the very first moves for him to make was to suppress the smuggling upon the coast at all hazards; and to this end he set him self directly to work. Tho maritime force at his command was at once detailed upon this service, and they coasted night and day, buP without tho least success against the smugglers. In vain were all tho vigilance and activity of Tacou and his agents—they accomplished noth ing. At last,finding that all his expeditions against them failed, parHy from tho adroitness and bravery of the smugglers, and partly from tho want of pilots among tho shoals and rocks that they frequented, a large and tempting reward was offered to any ono of them wlio would de sert from his comrades and aot in this capacity In behalf of the government. At the same time a double , sum, most princely in amount, was offered for tho person of one Marti, dead or alive, who was known to bo tho leader of tho lawless rovers who thus defied the government. These rewards were freely promulgated, and posted so os to reach tho cars of those whom they con cerned ;jhut even these seemed to produce no cDbct,.and tho government oflicers were at a loss how to proceed in tho matter. it was a dark, cloudy night in Havana, some tlireo or four months subsequent to tho issuing oi these placards announcing tho rewards as re-; lerrea to, when two sentinels were pacing bnck vv arda and forwards before tho main entrance !2LSf - V ovcrno f just opposite to tho iL™™£! a ‘ Za ‘ A , IIUl ° koto™ midnight a man Jl°» ' ak A fta etching them from f«snTmfe stotuo of Ferdinand, near tho foun tain, and, after observing that tho two soldiers acting as sentinels, paced their brief walk so as to meet each o her. and then turn their backs as they separated, leaving a brief moment in tho interval when tho eyes of both were turned a way from tho entrance they were placed’to guard, seemed to calculate upon passing them unobserved. It was an exceedingly delicate manoeuvre, and required great dexterity to effect it; but at last it was adroitly done, and tho stranger sprang lightly -through tho entrance, secreting himself bctiind ono of tho pillars in tho inner court of tho placo. Tho sentinels paced on undisturbed. The figure which had thus stealthily effected fcn entrance, now sought the broad stairs that led to the Governor’s suite of apartments, with , a countenance that evinced n perfect knowledge ,of the place. A second guard post was to bo passed at tho head of the stairs; hut, assuming an air of authority, tho stranger offered a cold military salute and passed forward, as though jthoro was not the slightest distant \h)B so to do; and thus avoiding all sfspi* oion m tho guard’s mind, ho boldly entered the BY JOHN B. BRATTON. VOL 41. entered tho Governor’s reception,room, unchal lenged, and closed the door behind him. In a large easy chair .sat the commander in chief, busily engaged in writing hut alono. An ex pression of undisguised satisfaction passed across tho weather-beaten countenance of tho new com er at this state of affairs, as ho coolly cast of! Jiis cloak and tossed it,over his arm, and then proceeded to wipe the prespiration from his face. The Govcror looked up with surprise, fixed his keen eyes upon tho intruder— ‘Who enters here, unannounced, at this hour? ’ he asked sternly, while ho regarded the stran ger earnestly. ‘One who has information of value for the Governor General. You are Tacon, I sup pose ?,' T am. What would you with mo? or, rather, how did you pass my guard unchal lenged V ‘Of that anon. Excellency, you have offered a Jjandsome reward for information concerning the rovers of the gulf ? ’ ' ‘Ha! yes. What of them ?’ said Tacori, with undisguised surprise. ‘Excellency, I must speak with caution,’ con tinued tho new comer; ‘otherwise I may con demn pnd sacrifice myself.’ ‘You have nought to fear on that head- The oiler for reward for evidence against the scape graces also vouchsafes a pardon to the inform ant. You may speak on, without fcarfor your self, even though you may be one of the very confederation yourself.’ ‘You offer a reward, also, in ndditiop, for the discovery of Marti—Captain Marti, ofthc smug glers—do you not ?’ ‘We do, and will gladly make good tho pro mise of reward for any and all information up on tho subject,’ replied Tacon.’ ‘ First. Excellency, do you give mo your knightly word that you will grant a free pardon lo me, if I reveal all that yon require to know, embracing the most secret hiding places of the rovers ?’ ‘I pledge yon my word of honor,’ said the commander. ‘No matter how heinous in the sight of the law my offences may have been, still you will pardon me under the king’s seal ?’ ‘I will if you reveal truly. nnd*to any good purpose, 1 answered Tacon, weighing in his mind the purpose of all this precaution. ‘Even If I were a leader among the rovers, myself?’ The Governor hesitated for a moment, can vassing In a single glance, tho subject before him. and then said : ‘Even then, be yon whom yon may ; if you are able and will honestly pilot onr ship, and reveal tho secrets of Marti and his followers, you shall be rewarded as our. proffer seta forth, anfl yourself receive a freo pardon. ‘Excellency, T think I know, your character well enough to trust you, pr fAsoT should not have ventured here.* ' A'-A . .... ‘Speak, then ; mv timo is prcQipusA'wag ili.c Impatient reply of Tacon. - 1 ' : ’ /■' v ‘Then excellency, the man for whom you hove offered tho largest reward, dead or alive, i? now before you !’ ‘And you are—’ •‘Marti! 1 . •-The Governor-General .drow’ baek in ishment. and .cast his- eyes toward?.a brace, of pistols that lay within reach ofhis right hand; but it wiwonlv for a single moment, when ho again assumed entire Self-control and - said: ■ ‘I fchall keep my promise, air, provided you arc faithful, though the laws call loudly foryour punishment, and even now you orc-in my pow er. To fnsuro your faithfulness, you must re main at present under guard. Saying which ho rang a silver bell by his side, and issued a verbal order to the attendant who answered it. Immediately after tho officer of tho watch en tered, and Marti was placed in confinement, with orders to render him comfortable until he was sent for. His name remained a secret with tho commander; and thus the night scone closed. On tho following day. ono of tho mcn-of-war that lay idly beneath the guns of Moro Castle, suddenly became the scene of the utmost activ ity. and, before noon, had weighed her anchor, and was standing out into the gulf-stream-. Marti, tho smuggler, was on board as her pilot, and faithfully did he guide the ship, on the dis charge of his treacherous business, among the shoals and bays of the coast for nearly a month, revealing every secret haunt of tho rovers, ex posing their most valuable depots and- well se lected rendezvous ; and many a smuggling craft was taken and destroyed. The amount of mon ey and property thus recovered was very great; and Marti returned with the ship to claim his reward from tho Governor-General, who, well satisfied with tho manner ip which tho rascal had fulfilled his agreement and betrayed those comrades who were too, faithful to bo tempted to treachery themselves, summoned Marti be fore him. ‘As you have faithfully performed your part of our agreement,* said tho Govcrnpr-Gencral, ‘I am now prepared to comply with tho articles on my part. In this package you will find free and unconditional pardqn for all your past of fences against tho laws. And hero is an order on tho treasury for—’ •Excellency, excuse mo, tho pardon I gladly receive. As to tho sum of money you propose to give to me,let mo make a proposition. Retain tho money ; and, in placo of it, guarantee to mo tho right to fish in the neighborhood of tho city, and declare tho trade in fish contraband to all except my agents. This will richly repay rao, and I will erect a public market of stone at my own expense, which shall be an ornament to the city, and which, at tho expiration of a certain number of years, shall revert to tho government, with all tho right and title to tho fishery.* Tncon was pleased at tho idea of a superb fish market, which should eventually revert to tho government, and also at the idea of saving tho largp sum of money covered by the promis ed reward. Tho singular proposition of tho smuggler was duly 'considered and acceded to and Marti was declared in legal form.to possess, for tho future, tho sole right to fish in tho neigh borhood of tho city, or to sell tho article in any form, and he at once assumed.all the rightsjthat tho order guaranteed to him. Having in liis roving life learned all tho best fishing grounds, lie furnished tho City bountifully with tho arti cle, and reaped yearly an immense profit, until at tho close of tho period for which tho monop oly was granted, he was tho Tidiest' man on tho island* According to tho agreement tho fine market and its privilege reverted to tho govern ment (it tho timo specified, and tho monopoly has ever since been rigorously enforced. Marti, now possessed of wealth, looked about him, to sco in what way*h6 could most-profttably invest it to insure a handsome and sure return.' Tho idea struck him if ho could obtain tho monopoly of theatricals In Ha vana, on some such conditions as ho had done 10 ”Bht to fish off its shore*, ho could stm further increase his ill-gotten wealth. 110 obtained tho monopoly, on condition that ho should erect ono of tho largest and finest thea tres in tho world, which ho did, locating tho same just ontsido tho city walls. With tho C|nuilions of tho monopoly tho writer is not conversant. • Tliore nro sixty Wrths owl loath, In tho world ovary second. “OUR COUNTRY—JIAY IT ALWAYS BE OB WRONG, OUR COUNTRY.” DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND. -Wo hare recently como, into' possession of facts in regard to a very pecQliar Real Estate transaction in this city, tho details of which arc interesting as illustrative of character, as well as of the method of doing business which Is considered sharp by a certain class of business men. Some time since, a gentleman, whom we will call Sir. A., purchased a piece of ground in Murray street, on which was an old building, which ho proceeded to tear down intending to erect in its place a building 4noro suitable for the transaction of his business. About tho same time, whom we shall call Mr. 8., purchased the adjoining lot, and pro ceeded in tho same manner to take down the old building standing upon it, so that the work of demolition proceeded upon both at the same time. After this had been concluded, Mr. A., being ready to build himself, and supposing, quite ndturally, that his neighbor would prefer building at tho same time, paid him a visit in relation to the ihattcr, when he was boorishly informed by Mr. B. that ho should 'build when ho pleased.’ Of course, ns Mr. A. could not gainsay his right in this respect, the only meth od left for him was'lo go on by himself. This he accordingly did, and had progressed so far as to have his- building ‘covered in,’ when ho was surprised one day by a visit from his irate neighbor. ‘Sir.’ says Mr. 8., ‘you arc an inch on my ground I’ Mr. A. rejoined that ho tho’t it must be a mistake. ‘No sir, it is no mistake —you are an inch on my ground.’ ‘Well.’ re turned Mr. A., ‘all I can say is, if it is so, 1 am very sorry, and it is altogether unintentional; but I am willing to pay you whatever you say the land is worth.’ *1 want no pay, sir,’ an swcredMr. B.; Twant my land !’ ‘Sir,’says Mr. A., ‘I see it is hopeless to try to compro mise this matter with you, but I will give ypu double whatever you say the land is worth,.rath er than take dowh my wall.’ ‘1 want no mon ey—l want my land,’ persisted the stubborn Mr. B. Argument and entreaty were alike un availing, and Mr. A. accordingly proceeded to take down and rebuild his wall, lie was per mitted to finish his building now without furth er interruption. Shortly afterwards. Mr. B. concluded to build on his lot, and masons and carpenters were sot at work to accomplish the object. Tho Work progressed finely—story* after story went up as if by magic ; and our friend Mr. B. watched tho operations day hy day with increasing in terest, in confident anticipation of being able to occupy the premises by a certain period. At length the building was entirely finished, from foundation to cap-stone—tho workmen had de parted with their tools—the rubbish had been cleared away—and Mr. B. was complacently congratulating himself on its successful accom plishment, when he was astonished by a visit from his neighbor, Mr. A. ‘Sit),'’ said ho. ‘I nip sorry to inform you that you arena inch on . WV ground! 1 ‘Pooh! nonsense!’returned Mr. B. -‘lt's no. nqnscnso at all,'said Mr. A.: ‘1 tell you you an inch on my ground.’ ‘Why. how can that be,’ blustered Mr. 8.. twhcn l havo up to ?’;.‘Ah, that’s it!’ inline driest aftsfrered Mr. i . Our'frienfi, Mri3*. : was’‘somewhat-dumb-’ , founded; ! , Sond7or4 i si') ir.! afj Tc?jg[fr he exploded,' ‘and ,w and through tbojoof of your dwelling tho rain beats heavi ly, the walls crack, the plaster fulls, the beams that support tho thatch groan and creak with “melancholy moan,” tho voices of angry spir its seem to shout and howl around you, tho poor birds, tho cattle disturb you with their low ing, tho dogs bowl, and tho unearthly tones of tho Kaffir or flngo herdsman’s song arc no agrcechlc addition to the wild scene stirring be fore you. Tho tempest subsides as suddenly as It rose; the voices of tho storm spirits die aw# in the distance over tho mountain tops, the dark pall of clouds it rent by a mighty hand, •the swolleitfrivcrs rush on, bearing evidences of devastation, but subsiding at Inst into a more measured course; the sun lights up tho valleys and hill sides, the air is dearer, the sky bright er, than ever; and but for tho history of de vastation, and oftentimes of death, and the knowledge that for weeks tho country will be subject to these violent convulsions of nature, the terrors of tho tempest would soon bo forgot tea.— Five years in Rnjjirland. iC7*A pretty woman is one of tho ‘institu tions’ of this country—an angel in dry goods and glory. She makes sunshine, blue skv, fourth of July, and happiness, wherever sue goes. Ifcr path is one of delicious roses, per fume and beauty. She is a sweet poem written in rate curls, and choice calico and good prin ciples. Men stand up before lie}-, ns ho many admiration points, to melt into cream and then butter. Her words float round tho car 15ko music, birds of Paradise, or tho chimes of Sab bath hells; Without her, society would lose its truest attraction, the church its firmest reli ance, and young men tho very best of comforts and company. Her influence and generosity restrain the vicious, strengthen tho weak, raise lowly, flannel shfrt, the heathen, and pluckcn tho faint-hearted. Wherever you find tho virtu ous woman, you also find pleasant firesides, taste, bouquets, clean clothes, order, good liv ing, gentle hearts, piety, music, < light, and model institutions generally.' She is tho flower of humanity, a very Venus in dimity, and her inspiration is the breath of heaven. CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 1854. Missionaries of the Sivord'Jn Turkey. , An American gentleman, \vbQL.;}vrUes from Varna under a recent date, sdp v a\lfopuful fact” In the presence of the Ankld-I’rdncli ar my, if not sun-burst, it is a glcanxjw light through the is plcasrimec,to contem plate than a anilTfcaps of slain. An oxs#6fcv will pro§c it' this libpeflul view: rfor] \ i The indolent Turks and droni ig,btfmtrt(£un.. energetic Bulgarians are being startled from a i sloop.of cemhrios by thd’iohomus blast' of the i English bugle, and the lively ™b-a-dub of the French drum, and nro getting alglimpso of the. restless, busy all-achieving, ail-pursuing actlVl r . ty of the .IVeatern world. tulbwliat stupendous changes the spectacle of ill this sys tem, subordination, prdibjflneaa'.in action, brevity in discussion, vigor. perse-, vcrenco in labor may produce Icharacter and habits of all the races by which /Jiis vast empire is pcopled'l, A thoroughfare ;|is found too narrow for cart or horses, tUio evil j s felt daily; but the Turks are content Iqsitfor it year after year, as their fathers suCercqnt before thorn. No sooner do the giaours arrive than j than twenty English sappers open up a new road I by breaking a passage through ‘the town wall, | while ton more of their’number set to work to I cut stone for gateway. The Turks lift I their hands in wonderh and as (he Pasha rides i through the gap, I wonder docs he not’ft*cl that 1 a now era is dawning on his poonlfj-imd that the | few remaining bound’ tliumdu their ! jiristlno barbarism are being 'snapped asunder ? It seems to mo to bo, ,ono of the ny>st hopeful I facts of our timo, that tho armies M tlio Really ; groat arid free states of tho world flr.6 becoming I pioneers of civilization and instead oC being tho emissaries of violence and destruction.' I They are now tho bearers of noVl Ideas, of liborr ty and knowledge to regions sot for! ages in darkness. No onotvlU say that the I French occupation of Algerlahatf neft been preg nant with good for tho vast Qxteht'of.tjio African coast which boarders on tho Mfdltqvranean.— British armies have secured to'a lmhdred mil lions of people in India moro pqJCe end securi ty in a single century, than thoywvupbefore en joyed In thrice that period..v expedition in tho East is hotluofejy an armed defence of tho rigid against the wrohg-d6er, but ! a great company of missionaries, Svho teach civ ilization, and instill jns'tlc.o, and I equality by tho force of example, The Turk is ! learning from thorn tvhat ho incvVr.could have learned in any other way—the folly i>f the pride which made him fancy himself tbd:f hav ing missed their prey. The same evening each man was manifesting his disappointment, wimp Dr. i’agot—who Is ono of the wittiest Medics in Pyrenees—cried i suddenly: I “Gentleman, If you will say as 1 dq, wc shall return in pursuit of master, do id or alive, in ( Luchon at night. Only take a few tilings besides what wo had to day, our cloaks, some wool[im blankets, and especially some stout iron hfilirt and we’ll start at seven o’clock, the very latest The rendezvous is fixed at tlm Hold do Lons - To-morrow, then, gentlemen,* and be, ns sanguine of success as I am. We were punctual lo tlm appointment, and proceeded on our expedition nt fifteen nlin utespftMlsoven. At lulf-pasf ten we had r.nirh'- cd Urn* bights of Superhatrneni. where consider able snow hail fallen dining the night, but it did not hoar a slnglo.'track of the giant, and we inferred pretty ctjfrecHy that the fellow was still in his don. T)ifti.Was exactly what Dr. Peg»l wished should bfrtho case. Said he : “G-ontloman, Pwnnl to close gradually about tho cavern, and hold your poices ready for oxo cution, while 1 do my~ part of the business.— You will place tho bars of iron across the mouth of the den. Ami umv, pehtleratft, wo shall administer chloroform to Übliah, and car*, ry him, sound asleep, to Luchon !*’ When flip cloaks ami blankets had been hung upon the bars of Iron in such a manner as io ex clude, completely, tho Introduction of *nir into the cave, the doctor thrust a force pump 'through a small aperture in one of the blankets, and projected a quantity of chloroform into tI»Q bear’s quarters.* As soon ns the instrument had played to tho doctor’s satisfaction, ho cried,- “CMTwith the blankets!” AndVhlprodlg-iofl's 1 ■ —there lay before «s tho victim of onajathetlc ngcnlfy motionless, and In a snooze. StIU -Vo stOpcLon guard and kept <>ur “heady .drawn (upon tho black mass, “hon’tllo .aftald,” cx- Dr. Pogot j “I’U anawcfTforv.lWra.' — Now, let us bind tho bear, construct a'Uttcr, and wo’U carry GoUaU to thc.gQod.town of XiU chon, where wo shall make a trlumphauVcn franco to-night., ' Accordingly, aftor a delicious and merrj i lunch, wo placed the bcaroiYa dUtcr, and turn l cd, Upward care, .howotcr, to. I hold n buttle ofctfrorbfoim’ under thohVufo’fi ridso, In order to, kocp hlm sllH in tho embrace of Alorphous. ‘lV’e ,reached tho city al' O'd’clcck; i and found tho streets illuminated to greet our entrance. Tho hbro of., tho day, Dr. Pcgot, headed tho precision, Which inarched to the town hall, where Gollah, still asleep, was pi a ccd In a'engo, ono occupied by a fo» male of bis own species, which tho shephards of (lie mountain had snatched from her moth er’s tender cares a short time before. Largo numbers of visitors crowd around Go liah’s cage everyday, and the old fellow looks as though ho owed Dr. Pegot a grudge for hav ing applied chloroform to a new purpose of no great importance. Daniel Wkiistrk. —Bishop Walnwrlghl re lates the touching incident beautifully illustra tive of the religious yearnings ol the late Dan iel Webster : ‘•Soon after I returned from Egypt rind the Holy Land, heaving that Mr. Webster was in town, I called upon him at the Astor, ns I was always accustomed to do. Ilia reception of me was most cordial and affectionate. He as ked me many (locations as to my Eastern tmv. els, and ns I rose to go away, ho took me bi lbo hand and said, “I want you to do one thing for mo. Von hnvo been over to Palestine. — I wish to get the best map I can command, and have you sit down with mo one hour—but one hour. I wish to go with you tVom place to place—Dolhlehnm, Nazareth, Jerusalem, the sea of Galilee. Jordan, Bethany, the Mount of Olivos, and tell me, as I point, how it looks; the hills, the trees, the rocks, thb lantKdho wa ter. I can never go there, hut I woujcflook as noarlv as I can upon every spot sanstified by the presence of our blessed Lord, while taber nacled In the flush.” His eyes tilled with tears, and ho earnestly pressed my hand. Multitudes of emotions swelled my heart. I returned the pressure, and In silence departed.” DiiAw-BiunGK Pus of Getting a Wifi;. —One of the most celebrated bankers of Europe at present, is Mr. , the chief partner of the house of ‘•Hope & Go.” This gentleman was a simple clerk in the great house he now controls, when he was sent to London, to nego tiate some business with the Barings, tlAftcnts successful completion, having meantime been hospitably entertained by the heads of the house to which ho was sent, the Amsterdam clerk requested an interview with Mr. Baring and de manded his daughter’s hand in marriage. •Vou dream, sir,’ said Mr. Baring, ‘you are but a clerk’— 'But if I were ft partner in the house of Ilojie? 1 ‘Ah, then the case would be different V The clerk went home and asked ft private in terview with Mr. Ifono. Without preliminary he requested to bo taken in to the Arm ns ft partner. ‘What? and without capital, nnd yourself wholly undistinguished ?* said Mr. Hope. ‘But if I were the son-in-law of Mr. Baring?’ ‘Ah, then there might bo a propriety in it!’ By skillfully letting down these two sides of the draw-bridge which might cover the chasm in his expectations, the clerk managed to get a wife by a fortune, and a fortune by a wife, and arrived ftt his present eminent position. How Sms Felt. —A lady friend ot ours says the first time she was kissed by a ‘‘feller,” she felt like a big tub of roses swlmlrifc in honey colonge, nutmeg and chcckelborlcs. She also felt ns if something was Tanning through her nerves on foot of diamonds, escorted by several little cuplda In chariots drawn by angels, sha ded by honeysuckles, the whole spanned by molted rainbow. Jerusalem! what power there is in n double-breasted kiss ! Aiubtoobatio,—The lady who did not think It respectable to bring up her children to work has lately hoard from her two sons. One of thbm Is bar-keeper on ft flat-boat, and the other is steward of a brick-yard. (£y"Kccp in good (spirits. It helps on diges tion, sweetenh sldqr, makes you ftcccptfthlo to the ladies, keepsyour hair from.turnlug gray, and most generally gets your feet into the golden bools of matrimony. ‘ Nothing like good spir its^ How a FeJloiV brought in the Muins;;V In a county near by, tin election was bold Ibr tho office of High Sheriff. Three popular, didntes wore in tho' field, and their cbancesof success were about equal. .Never, itissala,- did tho yeomanry of, that county, ontef boldly into a political contest than bn fhlsob* cnslon. Thousands upon thousands of dollars' had been staked upon tho result, and this cir cumstance, perhaps, lent rauchto the enthusi asm manifested by tho people. • ‘ r V v -'f . On the morning of- the election, runnors prdr vided with fleet horses, wero dispatched to oil - the different polls of thocountiy, who wofrotft bring in tho returns to the county scat—a ho-• tel which was the head quarters of tho, ithnjcr partidfc?'. ‘ 1 Wo will pass‘over, tho many exciting and amusing occurrences of the day, and recur to (ho closing scene of tho night. The returns were all in, with tho exception of one township, and tho contest thus far so close, tho .disparity between tho highest and lowest' candidates was less than ton votes. The fate of.lhO three, can didates hung upon tho. result ot that' ono-polK Each claimed n handsome mo- Ijorlty In the remaining township—but aseacb j had boon declared by tho votes of the balance, | flic result in this, was in extreme doubt. Tho I throe competitors became oxceedlngiyalanncdj the fWonds of each were thrown Into a state of painful anxiety, and the sporting -gentlemen foil as though they had embarked in a hazard ous enterprise. - .. In tho stillness of tho night, (ho clatter of A a horse’s feet was faintly heard in tho distance. Tho shout of “he’s coming,” gave general no- ' • tico of tho fact. As the messenger neared them •' —the noble animal flying as it wore under whip . and spur—they full back on' either side, and . oponed'n passage to receive him. In ho dash ed, repardless'of human life, and hauling up „ siuldcnly under tho dim light of tho lamp, with , watch ho exclaimed—“five hundred dollars that hotter time was never made t ten miles in -only twenty minutes I and by a three year colt at that I” - A (loatb-liko stillness 'provnded tho crowd, as tbo ruunor*continucd to cxpaclato- upon tho speed and qualities of his colt—a matter. In; which no onu but himself seemed- to fool.any interest, just at that time—tho “return” being the only thing which could interest the crowd at this juncture. “The returns!’* interrupted’ a voice in tho crowd. “Thirty-eight mgjori-■ ity !**ans«ered tho runner. “For whOf” inaiflftkthe same voice in the crowd. tlcmnrt; all 1 knew about it Is that’’ somo feller I got thirty.eight majority; but who tho d—l • it was, 1 can’t toll ; hut one thing 1 'know,’and (hut is, that you cun just bet your life on tho’» Ijoss.” 'J." \\ r u have since frequently beard of this mart, who is now universally known and called In the neighborhood hy tho cognomen of “the fellowt that brought iu the returns.” ..‘‘lLvriXfi up # Kotes,”*—lt.was an almost universal custom somb.jtwcnty or thirty, years' sineditfohr New England parishes, w henever a birdi’tciok place in a Comity* for tho fortunate' recipients pf thirfgifltojiavo'anotb up on tho succeeding Sabbath rcnddingi'thanks for mer-, ries feccived.’ such bring the invariable phrase^' ology* ' > In tho -town of B ' flourished an'old . maid af/EQino forty summers, who, by the ca- , price of a relative, fell heiress to a considerable ' legacy,/Overjoyed-at her good fortune, she v could do no less than have tip a note of thanks* Ikihgsomcwlmt at a loss for phraseology, shoj unconsciously Tell into the old form, so that her nolo'read ns follows: “Tahitha Temple defeirea to express her gratitude,tot* Od for mercies re*-' edveu.” The minister who ro.d it, being on an exchange, and therefore unacquainted with .the circumstances, formed the verv natural cotf-- elusion; that the ‘mercy received’ was a child* lie accordingly prayed very fervently that ‘tho 1 phild might be brought up in the nurture and and admonition ofihe Lord, and prove a com fort and a blesshSg to its parents.* When ho' concluded, his petition, he was astonished to find the whole audience making ineffectual efforts to' ■ suppresslheir mirth—w’hiloMiss Tahitha was; ! sitting in evident perturbation of mind—her; , face overspread by a deep crimson flush. ' Slid never ventured to put up another note. • . ■ - IC7* ‘‘Torrybssc.s* iimch 'virtu man,” sank ’ > the doctor as ho ushered Mrs. Partington’ in - ; ; i and Uid. fromTbmpeil, Ac&'itbti ? . ske!cton;Of Uio turtic; nrjd-lhe many beautiful j (hingsrT?ent to him by. fLo society of Paris. .' “I suppose, "said she, slightly erecting her form, and looking down upon a nolo worn in the cats' pet nbouMho size of a thrcocontpiecc,“l sup* ■ pose I may say that I do possess some, but self-., praise dosen't go a great ways.” Tho doctor blandly nodded and smiled. He opprcciatcd.tho modesty of the remark, while she thought he /./. was complimenting her life, the virtue of y.hcfcV sixty-five years had sanctified. “Doyoutb?*.* serve,” continued the doctor, “the air of nttli-- • . quit/about this room 1” “Yes,” ‘ noticed it when I came in, and I sboiUd;ibiflk. you would improve it by opening the tyiiido'wa.’L The doctor was slightly confused as he assured. - her ho meant the general aspect of luB- room, \ with its antique chairs and the parchmctjfcTolltf.-' * upon the shelves, and went on to cxlqbifc and explain the various objects of luS coUcotibh.- . "licre, madnmc,” said lie; “is my|casQo ;-Xr V shut] myself in here, the world forgetting, by” the world forgot, and revel In the curiositns oC ;'*■ the past that fortune lias favored mo tvitll. - ” “Enjoying I suppose,” interrupted she, allcct •ing the classical, “your opium cum digitalis.” - There was a pause after this. The doctor held his breath. The classical remark was a stunner, and Mrs. I’. went out soon afterwards liko on exhausted skyrocket.—Boston Post. Anecdote or Gen. Jackson.—One of tho most characteristic anecdotes of Qon. Jackson is related with a great deal of zest by Gem. Cul. lorn, who was ns ho gays “raised under tho shadow of the 1101111111160.” As Gen. Jackson's second term was drawing to a close, tho politi cians wero vety-anxious to get his “preference.” It was suspected that lie had determined to go for .Mr. Van Burcu, but no overt demonstration had yet been made. A number of Mr. CaH-'. homi'H shrewdest friends, Loping tho old Gon'; ;V oral might be induced to go lor their thvorito, •„« managed to get an invitation to dine at tho “ White House,” and amidst (ho genialities.oC wine and familiarity of conversation, tho absor bing subject of “the succession” was brought’ forward, and cautiously narrowed down to tbo Important point of tho old General’s preferences, Tho old man appeared to bo pcrfuctly unsus pecting, hut Anally said “ho was In favor of Mr. Van Huron.” Ono of tho inquisitors, not content, asked, “General, who Is your «cowt' choker” “By tho Eternal”—said “Old Hick ory, ” growing Impatient, while Ids eyes fairly flashed with excitement—“By the Eternal, sir* - 1 never had a second choice in my life,” . . CAt’onr Fool. —A bachelor friend of oura passing up tho street yostortay, picked up a (himblo. lit) stood for a moment meditating od the probable owner, when pressing ittojits Tipsy hosnldi “Oh, that It wore the fair Ups ot tlo wearer.” Just as ho had finished, a big, flit, ugly, blade wench, looked out of an upper win dow and salds “Boss, Jis pluaso to frow dat flmblo in dc entry, I JU drop III” Our friend, fainted. A Fair Retort.-—-“ Madam,” said ft cross tempered physician to a patient, “it women wore admitted to paradise, their tongues would make U a purgatory.” “And some physicians, If allowed to practice there,” replied tho lady, “would booh make U a desert.” An Illustration of Scripture.—A travel ler In Syra says that at the close of tho day tho roads are filled with wandering herds and flofcbs, and droves of donkeys, with ono -attendant herdsman, all returning homo for tho night, af ter pasture on the neighboring hiiJ-fops. soon ns they get to (ho outskirts of the village, each from tho other, nnd unattended pursues its way to Us master's door.' “Thd ox knowctklta owner, and tho ass his masters crib.” ‘ young blood In SuoUerdom, wishing • to gel a chance to (ell one ol tho iltir ones What ho thought of her. donned hla best looks, and addressed her in this wise t~ “Miss can I have tbqoxquisUo-pleasure of rolling tho wheel of conversation aVoupd tbp|. axlelrop of your understanding -a few mluuttm. tills evening f” Tho lady fainted,. 1 ,. - ;