Inexpensive Buftet Set That's Done in a Jiffy This—the newest in crochet—in- expensive-—quickly made in one or two colors (the leaf border con- trasting) adds beauty to your home, Make luncheon or buffet sets—scarfs or just doilies—use perle cotton or just string. Pat- tern 1532 contains detailed direc- Pattern 1532 tions for making the design shown; illustrations of it and of all stitches used; material re- quirements; photograph of section of work; suggestions for varied uses. Send 15 cents in stamps or coins (coins preferred) for this pattern to The Sewing Circle, Needlecraft Dept., 82 Eighth Ave., New York, N.Y. Please write plainly pattern number, your name and address. (| WAS NEVER SO | EMBARRASSED -FOR | KNEW THAT ACID-INDIGESTION WAS DISTRESSING TO ME AND OFFENSIVE TO OTHERS BUT NOW- sust aa) ALKALIZE YS THE EASY The quick way to alkalize is this: Take two teaspoons of Phillips’ Milk of Magnesia 30 minutes after eating apd drinking. Or, when among others = fake two Phillips’ Tablets that come in a small flat tin you carry in purse or vest pocket. — You do it unnoticed. Relief is almost immediate, “Gas,” nausea, acid breath and other offensive symptoms leave. — That “stuffed” feeling and pains from “acid indigestion” cease to annoy. You feel great. This is the wav, we believe, more doctors use than any other when alkalizing upset stomach. Star of the Soul Peace is the evening star of the soul, as virtue is its sun, and the two are never far apart.—Col- ton. Many, Many Women Say Cardui Helped Them By taking Cardul, thousands of women have found they can avoid muck of the monthly suffering they used to endure. Cramping spells, nagging pains and jangled nerves can be relieved — either by Cardul or by a physician's treatment, Besides easing certain pains, Car- dul alds in building up the whole system by helping women to get more strength from their food. Cardul, with directions for home use by women, may be bought at the drug store. (Pronounced “Cardul.”) A Sure Index of Value « + + is knowledge of a manufacturer’sname and what it stands for. It is CA use, for judging the value : Sti Intriguing Construction, ANTA MONICA, CALIF — Downtown I saw some sort of siege-wall going up. At first I thought it must be a part of the proposed plaza leading from our new terminal. Our new terminal has been under construction almost as long as New York's unfinished Cathedral of St. John. Inch by inch it progresses, giving creeping defiance to those critics who say that what Los Angeles needs is not any additional en- trances, but more exits. On second glance I decided the owner of the business prop- erty behind this strange rampart probably made the same mistake I did. I saw a pic- ty late to be printing a photograph peared when the World's war heroes got through pranking last month.” I a scene in Shanghai after the Jap- anese finished bombing. Angeleno is just getting ready for out here. When his wall is abso- lutely impregnable against assault, he'll no doubt paint a big sign on “Welcome, American Legion.” * » » Kindness for Reptiles. {JNDER the slogan, “Kindness for reptiles,” the National Park service discourages people from de- stroying every creature they en- counter, merely because it wriggles I'm what you might call an oc- only in moderation. In other words, I can take my snakes or I can leave them be. But realizing that prac- all snakes destroy vermin, I refrain from murdering every passing snake, regardless of his private habits and personal dis- position, just for being a snake. I was raised in a locality where moccasin snakes were so numerous the Republicans used to accuse us Yet I recall only one instance of a moccasin snake biting anybody, and it must have been tempted beyond all power of self-control, for the fellow bitten was a pious party who suffered to believe in Santa Claus. It was the snake that died. » * » Movie Preferences. DON'T like movies about hospi- tals where an impossible young surgeon performs impossible opera- tions, in four strokes under par, us- ing his irons all the way ‘round; and then, while replacing the divots, makes love to an impossible al though beauteous nurse. But between operations Dadgum him, he's always washing his hands! Who does he think he is, Pontius Pilate? I don't like movies paper offices where the hero is a drunken reporter who behaves in a manner pecular to newspaper re- out his brains with a wet towel. er Tracy, porter, solute failure that has a Walt Dis- ney short separating colossal the extra-special four-star absolute- ly unparalleled preview feature. » » LJ Gossip About Cobb. gossip now going around: (I) The claim that I am going to play Scarlett in “Gone With the Wind" is absolutely unfounded. Lat- est word is that the coveted role will go to Fannie Brice, although the Ritz brothers are being men- tioned. If they should be chosen, Scarlett will be played as a three- handed quartette, (II) Dame Rumor hath it that the Atlantic sperm whale will be re- named the Justice Black sperm whale. Not yet confirmed, but sounds sort of plausible. The At- lantic sperm whale has a hide al- most two feet thick. (III) The statement that Charley McCarthy may join the reorganized brain trust at Washington remains unsettied. Probably without foun- dation. For while Charley is trained to sit upon his master’s knee, he cannot be depended on to keep si- lent and has too many brains to be trusted. (IV) Stories to the effect that Rep- resentative Ham Fish will be Re- publican nominee for President in 1940 may be regarded as absolutely authentic so far as Representative Ham Fish is concerned. IRVIN 8. COBB. © Western Nawspaper Union, Hoyd Gibbons ADVENTURERS’ CLUB HEADLINES FROM THE LIVES OF PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELF! “Elephant Hunt in West Virginia” By FLOYD GIBBONS Famous Headline Hunter H ELLO EVERYBODY: And all the courtesies of this Adventurers’ club to ‘Bring ‘em Back Alive” James Brogan of Tompkinsville, S. I., N. Y., for his knockout animal adventure today. Jimmy Brogan didn’t really do a Frank Buck in this story—at least he didn't mean to—but, by golly, he did bring himself back alive and, boys and girls, when you've read Jimmy's experience you'll agree that that's something. How would you like to be out pheasant hunting with a little twenty-two-caliber rifle and all of a sudden run smack into a great big—but let's start this story at the beginning. Back in '28—the year before the Great Depression—Jimmy and a pal uncle in West Virginia. The boys were having a swell time. They had their lunch with them and had bagged a couple of the birds, and as the sun started to set started back home in great spirits, Jimmy says it was great fun walking through the dense woods and pretending to stalk big game. In their imaginations the hunters were to hide a tiger or a lion or even an elephant. Of course you wouldn't have much chance with a ‘twenty-two against an elephant, but it was fun anyway, and besides who ever heard of an elephant in West Virginia? Jimmy says he was creeping along Indian fashion when he heard a terror. Jimmy thought it was part of the game—a war cry—but when he looked around he let out a scream and nearly dropped his trusty rifle in terror. A MONSTER ELEPHANT WAS CHARGING STRAIGHT FOR THE BOYS! Well, sir, Jimmy says he couldn't believe his eyes. He knew that the human mind can play strange tricks on a fellow, but he knew that this was no trick of the imagination. The elephant was there in flesh and blood, and, as he came tearing through the underbrush—gigantic ears flapping and bellowing with rage ~—Jimmy decided that discretion was the better part of valor and ran for his life. “Climb a big tree!’ he yelled to his pal. Jimmy says his pal did climb a tree—dropped his rifle and went up the trunk like a monkey, and this gave Jimmy a chance to think. He ran for the thickest part of the wood-—thinking the elephant would Jimmy Fired at the Elephant’'s Head. have a hard time following him-—and looked back. There was his pal safely out of reach of that long trunk, but the boys had not figured on the keen intelligence of the elephant—who is one of the smartest as well as the largest of beasts. Jimmy saw the huge monster stop under the tree and look up. Then the next thing the animal did made Jimmy raise his futile little rifle to his shoulder. That elephant calmly took hold of the tree with his powerful trunk and shook it as a man would shake an apple tree! The tree swayed and shuddered under tons of weight—Jimmy was sure no man could hold on under such a shaking—Jimmy's pal was all wrapped around the branches, but it looked as though he would come tumbling down any second and be stamped to deatf beneath those huge feet. Jimmy did the only thing he could do to help his pal-—he fired straight at the elephant's head. It was an easy shot, Jimmy says, the target was so big. And he thinks the shot went true because the elephant let go of the tree and with a challenging bellow came charging straight at Jimmy. Jimmy says fear must have lent wings to his feet that minute, be- cause he turned and ran like a deer. He dodged in and out of trees and kept as much as possible in the thickest part of the woods. He could hear the infuriated beast behind him as he snapped trees in two and crashed into larger ones. Undoubtedly Jimmy's strategy in keeping to the densest growth saved his life. But Jimmy says he was tiring fast and his heart was beating like a bassdrum. Just as he thought he must fall from exhaustion he came on a farmhouse in a clearing. He screamed a warning and burst in the door of the house. The farmer thought Jimmy was crazy when he cried out “elephant,” but a few seconds later the man changed his mind. Wham! Mr. Elephant hit that door and shattered it as though it were paper. But the door was too small to admit his huge bulk. Insane with fury now because he had lost his prey, the beast started in to wreck the farm. Each time he charged the house, Jimmy says, it felt like an earthquake. But the house was strong, and although badly dam- aged, did not collapse. Baffled—the beast smashed up the barn, stamped the life out of chickens and killed two dogs who bravely snapped at him. The farm had no telephone and Jimmy or the farmer did not dare leave the house for help. But help came and plenty of it. A small army of circus employees—led by Jimmy's pal--and armed with heavy rifles, closed in and a volley of big caliber lead ended his man-killing days. the woods of West Virginia. The circus animal had suddenly gone berserk—as elephants in captivity sometimes do—killed his trainer and escaped. The rest we know. Well, boys and girls, it was all over then but the paying for dam- ages, and the circus soon did this, and they gave Jimmy and his pal for their part in the capture. $50 for pa p Si The Vatican The Vatican is the official resi- dence of the pope in Rome. As long ago as 500 A. D. a residence for the pope was built on the site of the present Vatican. THe popes moved to Avignon, in France, returning to Rome in 1377. The present build. ings of the Vatican were begun about 1450. They consist of an ir- regular group of palaces, courts, : Down Trees Headfirst According to Stimpson’s ““Uncom- mon Knowledge,” squirrels, chip- munks and similar light-bodied ar- boreal rodents are the only ani- mals that habitually and naturally come dowa trees headfirst. This, of course, excludes cats, which come Historic Hoaxes pe By ELMO SCOTT WATSON © Western Newspaper Union, “Two Famous Scientists” HE World's Fundamentalist con- ference was meeting in Toronto, Canada. One of the speakers, a cer- tain Doctor Brown, had defended the story of Jonah and the whale against the doubters who refused [to take that familiar Bible story lit- erally. So he was delighted when | he received a letter from the city | editor of the Toronto Mail and Em- belief, The next evening Doctor Brown conference the scribed how two letter well-known Ger- brod and Herr Doktor Smearkase, what they believed was a whale. It working a trap door which access to the stomach. This, scientists declared, proved conclu- contentedly for three days inside the whale. The delegates cheered the read- ing of this letter and Doctor Brewn was well pleased. But he wasn't so pleased the next day. Newspaper men came to interview him to get more particulars on the story. was quoted as saying that the two Germans were men of international reputation. Then the Mail and Empire came out with a story which announced that the names of the two eminent scientists lated as ‘'Doctor ter’ and "Doctor Cheese” and that the letter was a hoax planned in its offices. It did not reveal where it had secured the manuscript and it was not until several years later that the author of it was revealed as one of its reporters named Charles Langton Clarke, who had written the story for his own amuse- ment many months before the Fundamentalists met in Toronto. » » * Bread and But An Ancient Stone N THE year 1875 the Brooklyn (N. Y.) Argus reported that a hunter in the Catskills had made a discovery which was of “‘extraordi- nary antiquarian interest.” While resting on a grassy hillgide he glanced idly at a boulder and then rubbed his eyes in astonishment. On it were plainly engraved these words: 1643 TH-ISSTO-NEWA-SPUTH- ER-EFO-RCATTLET-OSCRAT- CH-THE-IR-BA-CKSON S.B.AN-TH-ON-IE In what language was this inscrip- tion written? Was it carved there by some survivor of a lost race? Was it some magic formula or the key to buried treasure? No one knew, but for days everyone was its meaning. idea of writing the syllables down and leaving out the dashes between them. In a moment the translation became clear. It was: “This stone was put here for cat- tle to scratch their backs on. S. B. Anthonie."’ Who was S. B. Anthonie, the au- thor of the hoax? No one ever knew. THE HOUSEWIFE Towel Holders, Cither a spring-type clothespin, or the pa- per clamp from a loose-leaf note- book, properly nailed to the wall makes a satisfactory towel hanger for the basement. * » * For Tight-Fitting Lid.—To re- move a tight-fitting lid from a cof- fee can, wrap a light wire around the can below the lid, insert a stick and twist it up tight. * » * Cooking Doughnuts. — Doughnuts will crack and brown before they are thoroughly cooked inside if they contain too much flour or if the fat in which they are fried is not hot enough. . - * Uses for Beef Marrow.—Beef marrow is very nutritious. Add it to the suet for meat puddings and forcemeat, and to stews and soups. Mixed with tinned tomato puree, or haricot bean puree, you get excellent mixture for a savory toast. * * * Keeping Boards From Warping. ~Warping of long boards prevented to tent by on one edge so equally exposed to the w * » When to Add Salt.—Salt curdle new milk In porridge, gravies, not be added until pared. will preparing , salt should lish is pre- A ASPIRIN WORKS SO FAST Drop @ Boyer Aspirin tobiel inte @ tumbler of woter, By the time it hits the bottom of the gloss It is disintegroting, This speed of disintegration enebles genvine BAYER Aspirin tablets te start “toking hold” of heodache ond simi- lor pein a few minutes after taking. All people who suffer occasionally from headaches ought to know this way to quick relief. At the first sign of such pain, take two Bayer Aspirin tablets with a half glass of water. Some- times if the pain is more severe, another dose is necessary later, according to directions. If headaches keep coming back we advise you to see your own physician. He will look for the cause in order to correct it. The price now is uanly 15¢ for twelve tablets or two full dozen for 25 cents — virtually, only a cent apiece. a whim of the playful Mr. Anthonie, put there to lead its “discoverer” to believe that he had found some- thing of “extraordinary antiquarian interest’’! * » * International April Foolishness best April Fool jokes are “made in America’ we need to think again. For the nations of eastern and cen- tral Europe have had longer years of practice at it than we have and | newspaper readers in those coun- | tries expect on April 1 to read in | their journals fantastic news items | which are believable enough to fool | all except the most sophisticated. Several years ago a Polish news- | paper published a photograph of the | Leaning Tower of Pisa, erect as the | day it was built. Over it was the | startling headline “‘Straightened by | Order of Il Duce.” Such was the | reputation of Mussolini for “getting | things done,” that many readers be- | lieved he had indeed had the Tower | of Pisa restored to its original posi- tion. One Warsaw paper carried a pho- tograph of Charlie Chaplin arriving at the principal railroad station Virtually 1 cent a tablet The Unattained Success is counted sweetest oy those who ne'er succeed. —Dickin- son. "YOU CAN THROW CARDS IN HIS FACE ONCE TOO OFTEN HEN you have those awful the functional disorders which women must endure in the three wif, take LYDIA E. PINKHAM'S VEGETABLE COMPOUND and Go “Smiling Through” WNU-4 CLASSIFIED DEPARTMENT HOUSEHOLD EL REE A
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers