LARGE PERCENTAGE | OF FARM HOMES ARE UNDERLIGHTED Sensational discoveries have | been recently made by electrical research engineers about the sav- ing of eyesight through better electric lighting. Their researches have caused rapid changes to be made in electric lighting facilities throughout the country People are beginning to realize the value | of priceless eyesight. The rising | tide of eye troubles will no doubt | decrease in the next few years. But what's going to protect the vision of the people living in the 5,000,000 American farm homes without electuiicity? A large per- centage of those homes are under- lighted, according to results shown by new ‘light meters,” which register the amount of il- lumination at any given point, What about that? Manufacturers of high candle- power kerosene and gasoline pressure mantle lamps are doing for non-electric users what elec- trical engineers have done for the users of electricity. Some of the new kerosene and gasoline prec sure mantle lamps produce from four to twenty times more light than ordinary types. Burning 96 per cent air and 4 per cent fuel, they give “live,” crystal-clear brilliance — proved nearest like daylight of any artificial light, by scientific laboratory tests. Doubts and Fears Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt. —Shakespeare. Bayer Tablets Dissolve Almost Instantly In 2 seconds by step watch a genuine BAYER Aspirin tablet to disintegrate to work. Drop a vr Aspirin tablet in 8 glass of water. By time it hits the bot tom of the glass it i» disintegrating. What For Amazingly Quick Relief Get Genuine Bayer Aspirin You can now get Genuine BAYER ASPIRIN for virtually 1¢ a tablet at any drug store. Two full dozen now, in a flat pocket tin, for 25¢! Try this new package. Enjoy the real Bayer article now without thought of price! Do this especially if want quick relief from a bad headache, neuritis or neuralgia pains. Note illustration above, and remember, BAYER ASPIRIN works fast. And ask for it by its full name — BAYER ASPIRIN — not by the name “aspirin” alone when you bay. Get it next time you want quick relief. 15¢ rom A DOZEN you BRISBANE THIS WEEK One Human Shipload A Floating Microcosm Intelligent Mrs. Widener Mrs. Astor and Dr. Carrel On Board the Normandie.—The sncient writer made this admission: There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not: The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a ser- pent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; man with a maid. What would that inspired writer say of this modern ship in the midst of the sea? The biggest ship he ever saw could be hung from the ceiling of the dining salon on this boat or tucked away in a corner of the sun deck, disturbing no one. Arthur Brisbane A modern ocean liner, Queen Mary, Normandie, Rex or Europa, as it crosses the ocean indifferent to waves and winds, is a small world in itself, a microcosm, with this little earth playing the role of “Cosmos.” If this ship should sail to some new, uninhabited island of Utopia, it might supply everything necessary to start a new civiliza- tion better than the one invented by Sir Thomas More, who has been made a saint since he wrote “Utopia” to amuse himself and had his head cut off for his Catholic faith. On board, with his friend, George Bacon, is Myron Taylor, head of the United States Steel com- pany, biggest industrial unit on earth. He would supply the ma- terial for skyscrapers, ships, rail roads and machinery, plus organ- ization. Simon Guggenheim would tell them how to make corporations profitable, by ‘‘holding on.” Various newspaper workers on the boat would be ready to start “the New Utopia Gazette; Floyd Gibbons for war correspondent, plus members of the Edward H. Butler family, that own the Buffalo News, and the able Abraham Cahan, known to more New Yorkers than any editor in America, with one exception. And, most important to newspaper prosperity, the ship car- ries Mrs. George D. Widener of Philadelphia, who has traveled and down in every earth and says to your narrator Brisbane, 1 have always wanted to meet you, because I read your artic jay.’ There spoke the n ly intelligent reading public, up the corner of OAR. mr, les every d Mrs back fre land, would re ne her of promoting deep music, co-operators in the passenger —Madame Flagstadt, the admirable Norwegian singer, a deep soprano able to make Isolde more impres- sive than Wagner ever imagined On board also is Arthur Bo- danzky, ready to conduct the ‘New Mayor La- Guardia of New York will tell you Vincent Astor. on her way IR a grouse moor in Scot- soi) Ol J J reai LOOK FOR THE BAYER CROSS Their Inspiration There are many “self = made” women, too. They have followed the career they wanted to. At Your Best! Free From Constipation Nothing beats a clean system for health! At the first sign of constipation, take purely vegetable Black-Draught for prompt relief. Many men and women say that Black- Draught brings such refreshing relief. By him about her plans for a great musical center. But Mr. LaGuardia will never know what shudders would sweep from Ward Mc- Allister's pineal gland to his Achilles tendon if he could hear Mayor LaGuardia say of the young lady in question, “That Mrs. Astor is a nice, serious girl, thoroughly in earnest.” To make this list complete, P. G. Wodehouse is on boara, one who could and should describe this shipload of “important humanity’ going nowhere in particular, for no reason in particular, some in the steerage, some ‘‘tourist”’ and some, with cabins on the sundeck, whose names break up passenger list con- tinuity to make room for the magic words “maid, valet and chauf- other laxatives, BLACK-DRAUGHT A GOOD LAXATIVE Have Served Well So much has been stolen from the classics of literature that now the classics seem stale. OR SPREAD ON ROOSTS ® RELIEF FROM RHEUMATIC PAINS ARTHRITIS + NEURITIS + GOUT BOSUL 70,0000 e ve age. Established 1914. Price $2.00. 408. A. LUGAR CO. West 43rd St. New York, N. The contest between modern ships moment by the British Queen Mary, supplies most amazing proof of mod- ern engineering efficiency. Consider beaten several times by the French beat the latter clearly you realize that the ocean is a great deal too big for our small planet. It is all one ocean— Atlantic, Pacific, Arctic, Antarctic, all touching—water covering three- quarters of the earth's surface. Consider the Pacific; take your worla map, Mercator’'s projection, fold it over from Asia toward New York and beyond. It will cover the United States, the Atlantic ocean and all Europe to the Bosporus. @® King Features Syndicate, ine WNU Services. 30 20 20 26 26 26 2 2 2 AAATANIIAR AAR AAAAR STAR DUST Movie « Radio %%k By VIRGINIA VALE kk*% after their European ment or a burst of completely justified anger. He was willing to pose for photog- reels, but his wife was not. Some- body snapped her anyway — and Astaire proceeded to raise the roof until he got the plate. He explained that Mrs. Astaire does not want publicity; that she is not a Hollywood celebrity, but his wife, and does not want to be any- thing else. She feels, apparently, that the public can have no interest in her. Astaire would seem to be right. And there's a question as to wheth- er he'd ever have got that plate if he hadn't made himself very dis- agreeable in order to do so. Per- fectly calm and even-tempered peo- ple have discovered, the moment they came into contact with the mo- picture business, that they weren't taken seriously unless they flew into a rage every so often. fs Madeleine Carroll, whom you'll see in “The General Died #.t Dawn,” (that is, you'll see it if you want to see a swell picture) is in pictures because she wants to be, not be- cause she has to earn a living. She is the wife of Capt. Philip Astley, who was considered one of the greatest catches in England before they were married. At that time she had not made a name for herself; she was just one more girl who was doing all right in pictures. She went right on doing all right in them. Hollywood discovered her, and claimed her. Beautiful, intelli- gent, talented, she manages both her career and her marriage very well indeed. One thing she couldn't manage—she and her husband had planned to go to their castle in Spain last summer, and the revolu- tion spoiled their plans. — gs i: a : sid Madeleine Carroll We're always hearing about the effect that the gowns worn in pic- tures have on fash- ions. So it may in- terest you girls to know that at the presentation of “Fashion Futures" at the Waldorf-As- toria in York, held recently by fashion authorities, these were among : the dresses chosen TR from pictures which, Joan Crawford it is said, will be modified for the rest of us to wear this year: Joan Craw- ford's red velveteen robe, worn in “The Gorgeous Hussy''—it has huge sleeves, mink reveres, and braided cuffs and shoulders. Loretta Young's blue challis, with shirred skirt and sleeves and a ruffled petticoat, worn in “Ramona.” And Olivia de Haviland's bouffant organdie, with a pleated flounce for a hem worn in “The Charge of the Light Brigade.” ln New 4 When the football broadcasts get under way Albie Booth, who was chosen or the All-American team when he played at Yale, will de- scribe them for WHN, New York. Last fall he attended one of the big games in the party with your correspondent, And, unlike many men at football games, he just waiched the game. He didn’t call plays, he didn't express opinions what he thought of the game. Ee. Jane Hamilton, RKO actress, bought a new coupe the other day and went into a huddle with the salesman over having it painted a special shade of gray. She couldn't decide on the shade, and was think- driven in. “Well,” said Jane. color will probably do.” “It should,” retorted the sales- man. 000 Duesenberg.” . : : I : i i § HR PI ¥ i i I } 2 20 20 2 20 0 20 26 2h 2 2 ENEW RIGHT SIZE The old shepherd's daughter was going to marry a town dweller. Wishing to make her father look the altar, she got him to agree to wear a hat, London Tit-Bits relates. The shepherd went to an outfit- ter's and asked for a hat. “What size, please?" assistant. But the old man did not know. “We'll try six-and-a-half first,” suggested the assistant. ““Six-and-a-half be hanged,” said the old chap. “I weer a 15 collar, and I know my head be bigger than my neck.” asked the TIMELY REMEDY “How's that yours, Tom?" “‘Oh, I got rid of it.” “What did you take?” “A fresh one." Fatherly Advice “My boy,” said the business man to his son, ‘‘there are two things that are vitally necessary if you are to succeed in business." “What are they, dad?” “Honesty and sagacity.” “What is honesty?" “Always—no matter what pens, nor how adversely it may af- fect you—always keep your word once you have given it." “And sagacity?"” “Never give it.""—Santa Fe Mag- azine. cold gummer hap- A Good Alibi while examining a in school day, asked, “Who drove the Israelites out f Egypt, you?" he said pointing to a small boy in the corner “No sir, 'twasn’'t me,” the boy, trembling. “1 only came back from country | week!’ — Knights of Columbus Bulletin. one 3 = the ass Sufficient “Have you a sn ” approa the brakeman train? the asked of “Well, no, . we did hav the conductor thought was doing so well, that off." —Portland express He Knew “Can anyone by the tell me Yellow Master: what is meant Peril?” Jones: “Yes: banana skin left on the pavement.’ — Stray Stories Magazine. Quick Change Gadd-—That girl sings like a crow. Dodd—Sir, that is my daughter! “Yes, 1 was just saying she sings like a bird.” SMALL CHANGE “Health is better than wealth.” “Lend me a dollar and I'll take my chances.” Doesn't Weigh Much Husband (to wife at carnival)— this man? Wife—Certainly not, darling, why Meow-ow-ow! Policeman. you going with water?” Boy—"T1'm going to drown a cat.” nine Useless Fabrication Young Writer—The art in telling a story consists of knowing what to leave unsaid. Married Friend—It doesn’t make much difference, my boy. My ex- perience is that she finds out any- way. Greetings Servant (to lion tamer in cage): Toit, YOU Salis 14 Bere wih bis Lion Tamer: “Tell him to come in" The Mind _ » LOWELL HENDERSON © Bell Syndicate —~WNU Bervice, The Completion Test In this test there are four words fii.ite relationship to one another; for example, they may be the state capitals, or perhaps synonyms. Cross out the one word that does not belong in each prob- lem. 1. Gay, lous. 2. Edison, Morse. 3. Build, erect, raze, constr 4. Phoenix, Salem, Macon. 5. Arrow, bullet, 6. Inaugurate, continue, 7. Donate, pilfer, steal, embezzle. 8. Puma, leopard, tiger, rail. 9. Candor, duplicity, sincerity merry, dejected, frivo- Whistler, Fulton, uct. start, introduce, Answers Dejected } Whistler. Donate Raze Rail fo Macon. 9. Du . Arr ow. 10. Gun. Never Satisfied risoners continue to spite of the fact plot Who Know Betler vz vs. “All » alike,” it doesn’t have ce with ot} i When a man sa are Aispr v v » mniauen er men. % Here's a baking powder, tried, tested and used exclu. sively by experts. & IRL Rays Detect Flaws X-rays and gamma rays detect incipient cracks and flaws buried six inches or more deep in steel | plates and castings. TV LL Coleman HEATER Plenty of quick, penetrating warmth wher. ever you want it!, , . that's what you get with a Coleman Radiant Hester. Carry and use anywhere. No connections. Makes and burns fts own gas from untrested gasoline. 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Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers