FABLE OF THE FOUR MERCE- NARY MINXES 8B By GEORGE ADE ©. ell Syndicate. ~~WNU Bervive NCE in the dim Days, gone beyond Recall, when Parents were not compelled to take out Licenses, there lived in an E. Flat Town on the O, and AL H. a Quartette of Nectarines who had their Pick of all the Valentinos between Padgett’s Siding and Sumac Ridge. To look at the old Photographs of them, one might suspect that they were related to Sis Hopkins, but it must be remembered that in the dead- ly Nineties, when every Dorothy was banged the Brow and had a New England Boiled Dinner sewed on to her wide Hat, the most ravishing Specimen of the only attractive Sex looked as if she had been dipped In something and then dried in the Sun. Now these fair Vestals were Named Lib and Min and Stel and and it is of Interest to note away back, nearly 35 Years ¢ the World had been reformed into its pres- ent deplorable Fix, Maidens slept with one Eye open, kept Tab on the Opposite Gender and, in a General Way, looked out for Number one and the Blue Ticket. A good many Weepers will tell you that pr to 1010, when a Nice Girl was supposed to Faint If anyone saw her Ankles, every Marriage had a Background of True Love and every Deb went Nobility of Character of an AAl Rating at the Agency. If the Truth full many a cold beneath a Poke ACross Jess, that before go, these vious looking for instead Commercial must come Calculation out, was made lonnet. Weren't Too Ambitious. how to put a Crimp When the Cleopatra knew fn a Check Book. gan giving Sheba Solomon be- Presents to Queen of begged him to stop because she was afraid he could not afford it. Going a little further back, the fuzzy Gentleman who wore a Leop- ard Skin bias, and naught else, always had the Inside Track if his Cave was stocked Pterodactyl Meat, And, those tives, can we not be certain that the gimpy and enterprising highest Palms and brought down the milkiest Nuts was the White -Haired Papa of the Jungle? When the four Dulci Musselwhite beg: ok Feathers that could be used in a Nest, they were simply running true to form. Of course it was a Yap Era and a Dollar Distance, whereas now it bound. The Village was getting ready to Ride hardly sleep a Wir he Night and at a Musics the Folks in the Back tand get a Peek at new Tri Man's Ingenuity « sd the Saxop four ‘uties were for Millionaires. It creep up Something that wasn't Each of merely wanted a Home with a Front Yard to it and a Hired Girl and the kind of Duds with a Silk Parasol They visit into Plans f Live It rill ever be a she never with fresh checking up on tel Ape who climbed the peas out at around for would go a long seems muscle Ysa ‘wn Belle who could lows would up to the he cot i { looking was no use trying to on there, them that would go Chu used to real I and Another NN iord the Night 1 : were 18 and One lie awake their Ines, Question in picki out the ontain the Pay spread the Envelope supposed to ¢ is w Join who already Hoth 3 whether it Bait for has Currency 1 a hard Worker wh YW set Chet # ior of or troll d y «t to take the High Jump. After burning up many a ton of Anthracite Coal to keep the Front Room m through the Long Winter 1d holding Hands until her icked slow-mo hydehm- attractive Nam of on him into 1950 Other Improve. included a House around the Eaves Rods on Yery t . 1% w pinned the libhon because he had just come good Land the Same acres of ments on with Seroll-Work and £800 the Bu ahd } Lightning worth of irn. ike No Piker. Anyone who expects to live on the income from a Quarter Section should be ready for a Diet of Rainwater and Crackers, The net on that much Land, after paying Taxes and mak- ing Improvements and Repairs, would not keep the average Family in Blu- ing. Furthermore, any time Congress gets too busy trying to do something for the Farmer by mere use of the Vocal Cords, any good Fertile Tract ig apt to be a Liability instead of an Asset, Wes thought he was rich but he was sitting on the Front Stoop of The Poor House. One cannot obtain ace tual Money from a Farm except by plastering a Mortgage, and any Gen- tleman who lives in Town and wears a White Shirt with a Granite Button and devotes the life-long day to Check- ors and Criticism of the Government, fas a Fat Chance of battling his Way out from under an Incumbrance. Everyone said that Wes was smart enough but never showed any Ambi- tion, Initiative and deadly Resolution except when he was in a Pool Game, Everything was Jake and rosy with the Couple as long as they could bor. row on the Real Estate, but now the Farm belongs to the Hired Hand and Wes Is Floor Walker In a Grocery Store, Parties. Just to show you that there is noth- ing in Dope, it may be related that Min fell into the arms of lke after making sure that his Share Estate would be about $8,000. Well, the Wiz who ran a Tooth-pick Into a Lamber Yard and Mr, Heinze, starting with only one Pickle, were timid Pikers compared to or with lke. He took his little Hunk of Dough up to the City and made a First payment on some North Shere property and then Sold enough Lots to pay for the Land and had over 8,000 lots left, which is some figuring, no matter what you say. He and Min now spend most of thelr time in Travel and are scared pink all the while that one will sneak the Jewel Case containing $125,000 worth of Gems Suitable for a large Lady who never had Silk next to the Skin until was 30 years age. They are very unhappy. George B., Shaw must have sized up the Human Menagerie through many Years before he invented that star tling Cateh Phrase, “You Never Can Tell,” When Stel threw herself away on Silent SI who worked at the Gral Elevator, it was thé Verdict for Miles around that she had been gnilty of a prize he sald little, most of the Folk thought he was a while Lib Bakes Cakes for some she of loner, Because Town Dumfuddle. Ball of Fire Upsets the Dope. It was not understood In out generally Musselwhite that anyone ever cut Idle Chatter so as to devote more time to Thinking. Stel Cases on him and something kad been keeping she t figured that he the Bean support for a Derby Hat, so she crossed her Fingers and the big It !s now a matter of became such an that finally he was besides doing with using it as a ' ‘ ' took Gamble that unt ilistory Expert Aco ant owned the Eleva tor then began to the Market Wire and finally right into Chicago and most audacious, unse nervy rimmed Si touch up moved of rupulous the and horn became of Deck very Home Bottom of the They are the Old proud o Fown, snd he live in out Colored People and Apart. Houses. They | a Japa Servant ind both have been t Mayo i eould If any Questi princely up he? thou bars ment Institute which he of Free Siived itz was the of the whole what any ere with a per than mus im except or Perce ittle Ball » Streak One-Shot he Is she gels tely Trustworthy where he can bor t the Collector Profits by Odd Philatelic Error the on both error in a million, ng's head of 45 halfpenny interest » land post oused of ry part sent them scu the stamps and has offices in nother. The a Lon don suburban post office and six of them gold before the error was discovers a The i age of the hucky had chanced the history bought up hope of finding # were issued to were seventh, who, an of his the however, a collector, realizing that he error unique In hobby, mptly maining 38. They are be £50 in all and are now in the posses gion of KE. D. Bowle, a London stamp dealer. In commenting on the error, Mr. Bowie sald that the value of the six stamps which were used and which might be any place in the world, could not estimated, “Naturally,” he added, “the search for them will be world-wide, The same error occurred In 1881 in the printing of the one-penny lHiae, Scotts No. 80. which is now cata- logued at $75. on res estimated to worth be Where to Feed Birds Swale or swamp borders, weed patches, brushy fence rows and the protected sides of woodlots or ra- for game large, trees usually will be available snowfall, Anemics Becoming Rare Since liver treatment pernicious anemin into a curable dis- onse, some research workers say that it Is hard to find enough anemia pa- tients to provide data for further studies. 3 | of all the PEAKING in terms statistics, (if ruffles that trim this sea son's prettiest frocks should be measured yard for yard and placed In a single row, they would extend around the cir- eumference of the earth— well, we will leave it to you to figure out for your- self how many times, Any. way, what out to say Is designers are employing no end of ruffles Ruffles 3 VE TIL 1 be peakin we started that on SUmMmMer gowns, have a of way g the alluringly feminine as no tion the that for | whict “Say ria seems point the Ove quaint founces and countless wee ruffles and | ars fa puis upon which fashion places such mistakable emphasis this season, yi 80 3 form of mentation It is n wonder that a veritable riot of les and such now graced adorn the m There is noth the new of fact, tions such as OUR sorts the m aginable, They and gf Aron are perfor ot audacious capers Im are length of a skirt as to around a huddle mere as apt to run up or perhaps they will on each der and eve a shoul or play dozens knee go-round in dozens of tiny ruffle depth hetnline, themselves int shoul sheer mousselin a habit seem as if fancy could nothing more flattering in the way lor many we neon, it conceive of of feminine adornment Just to lovely by an artist are illustrating In show you how perfectly when handled know " the ruffles can be who WIDE SAILOR HATS ARE NOW IN FAVOR If you can wear them, be gure and include in your hat wardrobe for sum. mer one of the merry widow sallors f all the ra mors that hat, these big shallow crowned sallors are increasingly popular. One of the white rough dashing new In spite «¢ fashion has gone high gmmnriest is of with wide brim, and a not more than an finch and a half high, A wreath fleld flowers In bright red. blue yellow encircles the crown nother sallor, with a more mod! fled brim, and a low square crown, Is made In stiffened white pique, with a ind at the back, and a nosegay of field flowers perched In the middle of the front, made gitraw, fi very crown of and Camisole Is Shown in New Fashions for Hot Weather The camisole is back! Isn't that a laugh? But what else to do with these new transparent sweater blouses nnd thin dimity, organdie and lace things that all the world can see through? It's a problem for the undie world and no other, hence the thrice told tale of the eamisole. Of course, you can attach it to a slip, or a pair of panties, so that there Is just the bother of one piece, but many of the shops ate showing them aloof and un. attached to anything. When you go to buy an [see-you blouse or sweater, the salesgirl imme diately brings out her latest assort- ment of camisoles, taking for granted, naturally, that if you went In to buy a pair of new shoes, you wouldn't buy the left foot and refuse to take the right one, The relationship in the new fashion field Is just as close, — Tailored Cottons Trim tallored cotton suits In tones of beige, gray and navy blue are ready for sports wear in the country and in Informal wear in town, Most of them are worn with white cotton blouses which may be kept fresh by tubbing. shown to the his model " vy 1 < » broad ruffle sewed on with a IT'S BRAND NEW By CHERIE NICHOLAS PEIEED Here's the newest thing In the way of pajamas. Step into the right leg, wrap the left leg around, tie the ends in front and you are in the smartest, most comfortable pajamas you wore, as for beach wear, tive In stripes as you see here and they are just as gooddooking made of gay plaided fabrics, Linen Smartness Linen shoes and hats are correct with linen suits and dresses this sum- mer. Remember that they, too, can be washed as easily and as frequently as the dresses themselves, Lingerie Trimming The significance of lingerie trim. mings cannot be overemphasized. Pique In white, eggshell or dark col ors will be used a lot with prints and plain color costumes. How I Brokelnto The Movies Copyright by Hal C. Herman By WILL ROGERS bow I got my start, To be honest about it, I haven't yet got a real good start. And the way 1 figure things, a fellow has to be a success before he goes lecturing and crowing about him self. Out you're fifty have ment and here in Hollywzsd, they not a success unless yoo thousand to develop tempera or reason at all, mixed up in four cases and two breach-of-nromise cases, Well, a rank to pretty and ain't yearning for a say dollars somebody, five without heen Cars, can notice divorcee us a suceess in Hollywood, I'm failure, and I guess I'm too old new tricks, and besides I'm well off domestically speak learn ng change, 113 N about how 1 ac Now busines the selling really one arted, by 1 that he Mr » Eminent ought to Goldwyn Authors Was was . Ing president, con teach eminent authors that's where the and 1 series of comedy during 1621 and out ling picture of this vm signed me up, 6 reel OH him 1922. rhe was “Ju FTO soup theme of the the Song Romeo” was the story of to and Homeo in Shake gieep made a series of 2-reel a It's a serious bu oh! siness in the Fol act, and » evening nake an an and fi 1 did, and laughed at me or with me lies 1 did the 1 pounce everybod) and I was me tall 5 or That's ¥ olishly sipecess, and they've kept ever since much writing mes of talking too Now help some Y ne out i I one out. ge cracks and pic setter than the rope-throwin’ act, and that saves my lot. Ram Rork. who produced “A Texas Steer,” in which 1 got the big comedy part of a congressman who was a Tex $43 ture work feelings a as cowman, saye he picked me out of all the Hollywood actors because all in their contracts and are afraid to act like congressmen, But { was in the Follies graduate, and if Barrymore had my legs. he could still be on the stage. been in more punkin' seed movies, and most of the job was handling the rope. But that was a smart movie, a comedy special they called it, with real actors helping me out, and all I had to do was act the big comedy part of being a congressman, That's a cinch. Any day In the week any congressman I've known can give me a big laugh acting natural. My advice to aspiring moviestruck folk is to buy a good 12-foot rope, prac- tice with it, and then If you don't sue. ceed, why, you can always stretch it over a nearby tree with on: end around your neck, WNU Service Dramatic Heritage Arthur Rankin is a nephew of the famous Barrymore family and a de scendent of the Drews and Davenports, immortal names in the American the ter, “Salad First” Is Now the Vogue Idea Adopted by President’s Daughter Finds Favor. The United States Is witnessing an interesting transition of one of its important food customs-—the serving. of salads. Our food customs in the past have most frequently originated in the East and spread westward In this instance, the custom originat- ed on the west coast, in California, and is spreading eastward. nany the t have of ir salads years people eaten e@ appetizer at winning of while living In ve been accustomed to their meat follow- gnlads with COUrse, or as a sped meat, he Call is at the beg ial course ing the fornis serving meal astward and is mode on Custom in the ¥ And He Seldom Objects » has dong unt! ht is all you need Dne Soap for Toilet Bath Shampoo Keep your complexion free of blemishes, you skin clear, soft, sx and white, your hair silky snd glistening, yout wiTe J ME mEALS 7 115 weekly TE Ha THT WEEKLY CHRER THT MANALEMEWT “ (2 ooklats and ”~ CFs = "ADJUSTED RATES iB foie Eh EVERY ROOM ha Ad IEE RE SOUTHERN HOTEL Baltimore. Md. CENTRALLY LOCATED EACH WITH BATH AND SHOWER Circulating lee Water, Radio... Lerge Closets... 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Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers