Fable of the Hungry Fame- Seeker 8B By GEORGE ADE (© Bell Syndicate. )WNU Service. NCE there was a Greenle who borrowed some Tackle and went fishing off Catalina Is land, hoping that he might get a Nibble from a Tuna, To those who never have seen a Tuna It may be imparted that this Marine Monster is a Minow two sizes small er than a Submarine. It 1s fully as long a Freight Car and if do mesticated, could be used for towing Bau The Yap who rode back and orth across the dancing Waves, trol dng an attr Bait and begging the Fish to give him some Trade, was playing Luck, or If he YWoolus would not thie Boat, On another Ocean shed up the Merry-Makers in ng other movable T as Les, ictive because he nev had, the remained in rare poor in got a Strike. have Im such sion a cheerful a dinky Rille at Coney sheet iron becile poli sland Ducks He iiform and went that he could All day he scrambled at the Un derbrush Noises which were meant to insult the Bear and in dunce him to come & and put up a Battle. The Guardian Angels who fly over Cars driven by Women and pro tect the Patriot who buys Fireworks the Job that Day dauntless Nimrod never Hair of a Grizzly, That ved get back home and Supper. tse shooti argets. put on a Boy Scou out into the llills ping scare up a UG Bear. 1 around, Kicki and mak must have been on because the Hide or is why he li eat a hearty It happened that a thougl wasn’ saw to Man he really sweet Cur could shovel with a Three Months Club, Young who wherens more rency Scoop Une Night, has padiocked no than he found himself gazin irunette might iy which since been less three at a hypnotic English beautiful He never before Brunette packed into and he knew that Life would not mean anything to him he he near her, to inhale 30 or 40 kinds of Perfumery she was using and have all the other ing their Wrist Watches This one ma even as Sparrow but dead gaze Cobra. had seen so much so few Clothes ai unless could the Johns el in Envy Pola Negri look like You OW could ¢ tried to the interested maphore a few Signals Queen ut she had no Line on the Bank Roll and did he wore Jacket, she threw Feet the Alr and wl way In the Night with a ig Sausag Man fron the West, For several Yacht had from goir in his thought Dirty been singing at th Rit: and st her not like the Shirt the Dir Soft ner 500) 80 into Days Sa watch to keep him th which would lors on his to overboard w the Anchor been He ven a his have only sinking been gi he e Top of his Voice wherens should have i Pozeta, the ondu taken a real Fancy have cost him over £500,000 Poor Brakes Break Many a Man. Two years ago a prominent Mem of the Chamber of Commeree of Okla- homa City, Okla. ing his first real Rest dicate in which was interested struck the Gusher. He watched the wheel at Monte Carlo and, being quick at Figures and able to right through any Proposition on the Jump he felt almost sure that it would be fa Cinch to win all the Currency and close the Dump. Iie sat up for two Nights and wore Pencils System was in Eurepe tak since the Syn he Sp depreciated two doping a which could He the Modus Operandi to his two Trav eling Companions and said it Pipe, if backed up by enough Colin, so as to keep He wanted Bill and Bud to put in £350.000 apiece and let b in and shoot the Place, but they were Leery and said that the Suckers had already put up too many Buildings and laid out more Flower Beds than were needed. They were cold around the Ankles and de vold of Sporting Blood, There was Nothing Stirring and consequently all of the Poss are back home and living in comfortable Circumstances These Examples have been cited to prove that many a Chump who thinks that the Breaks are against him is really the favored and pampered Child of Destiny. Herbert J, Prangle, of whom we are compelled to write, was not so fortunate. He went fishing and the Tuna got him. While searching for the grizzly he had the Tough Luck to find one. When he smiled at the Beautiful Female she gave him a quiv. ering Embrace and darn near smoth ered him. He found a Chance to play his System and after he got into the Game he learned that he couldn't es cape, All of the which are Figures of Speech, The Story is that Mr. Pran gle, from the time he was in his Teens, had purged an aching Desire to be fa. mous, notorious, acclaimed, celebrated and popular, \ He wanted his Name on the Seroll, go that his Mother would be proud of him. Uncle Jason had always claimed that Herb had a broken Yolk and was out not lose, explained was a doubling. on im go up all messed up inside of the Dome. He wanted to prove that he (Ilerb) be- longed in the Hall of Fame instead of a Home for Collapsed Mentalities. Looking the Part. To look at Mr, Prangle, about the time he was eased out of College and began to ramble in the dalsy-dotted Field of Literature, it never would have been suspected that he had this lurking Determination to Prove to the whole World that he was a Heller. He was skinny and wore powerful Glasses and had a bulging Head, like the large end of a Gourd, He was bashful in Company. Strangers often asked if he had passed through any Serious lliness when quite Young. If an attractive Cutie gave bim a couple of roguish Looks and began to ask him pert Questions, he yammered for a little While and then sank below the Horizon. Who would have dared to predict that Herbert J. Prangle was planning to write Love Stories so sizzling that he would have to use Asbestos Paper? To look at him he was just as pas- as a Rubber Glove, Historical are written by slender Mald- ens just out of Smith College, and all that Free Verse about Nymphs dane- ing in the shadowy Wildwood Is turned out by ing Overshoes, and Advice to the Love. Lorn comes from a Police Reporter, so it was Inevitable that this Clam would write about heaving Bosoms and Cling- sionate Even as the bloody Lo- mances hard-faced old Grouches wear- ing Kisses, For a long Time the Immediate Friends and Relatives little suspected He kept on producing Manuscripts that were rejected with Thanks. They put up with his De- lysions and kept him hidden away in a Cheerful Room where they would not have to look at him very often and consoled themselves with the Re that there Is Jinx in ev- large Family hen Book Heviewers and that a peared in the Light his Intentions. flection one ery came a Day when the all began to gibber New Light had ap- Heavens and It was About Candle there say Some Power, They agreed that gle, author of “Seared Souls,” was in- and but iyst of all the Fundamen- and a Genius with a Herbert J. Pran- decent, audacious salacious a Master Ana tal Emotions large OG. All at once his apologetic Kin be- gan running up and down the Streets asking everyone, “Have you read Her- bert's Book?" Soon the barred many nounced from the wis new after from had been Libraries and de Pulpit, and Holly- the Pleture Sisters were Volume wood dems tights, and the Tremolo on the Front Porch to the daring and devilish Author, ig claimed that Herbert Day, no less than 100 Requests Photographs and Autographs, The Glare of the Limelight. For a matter of Yeays he had waited ind hoped for this Day to come. Ald the Nights he had an intrepid Belief World would sim- i him. He felt recognize Pulsations of True ' inter- received, in one for tolisome by that some Day the to through been sustained ply have the and he knew that, eventual. uld vibrate In Sym- within himself (:rontness yv, the Universe wi pathy Well, he began to get the Vibrations and they nearly ruined him He sud- denly discovered that One may not ac- Fame without three Portions of Herbert, iz Violet, suddenly found f in a Class with the Ford Joke, the Statue of Liberty and Follies, All the Farm Hands in lowa were fully Informed regarding his Peculiarities and Eccen- i and blighted Affairs. He found that he could not stir out of Doors without being trailed by a brazen Hussy in shameless Attire and sticky Rouge, known as Publicity. He iearned, in a Hurry, that the Laurel Wreath had a lot of Thorns in it Strangers crawled up the Fire-Escape to get a Look at him in his own loom. The Public Prints were full of velled References to his Checkered Ca- reer and it was whispered about, un- der Cover, that his tough Novel was really a Story of his Own Life. Which was fairly hard on a harm. who was just as pure as Portion about low-down jure one of on 3 king Notoriety cities Love egg Boob Rainwater, If a distant Relation, whom he nev. er had seen, got into a Jam anywhere, it always eame out in the Dispatches that the accused Party was a Cousin of the wellknown Novelist. This is known as Advertising. Mr. Prangle reecived countless in. vitations to address the Women and the Rotarians and the Free Thinkers, but he could not generate sufficient Voeal Energy to make Himself heard to Himself. In fact, he couldn't do anything except sit in a Back Room and write on Paper. When the flerce Glare smote him he was scorched to a Cinder. At present his unmarried sister has him up in the Woods, feeding him Gluten Biscuits and Milk. MORAL: It is almost impossible for a Drum Major to pass along Main Street without being noticed. Famous Indian City The city of Rangoon in India con tains close to 400,000 people, It has a fine water supply, and many modern houses, It was built alongside the Rangoon river, about 40 miles from the Bay of Bengal. Perhaps the most interesting thing in Rangoon is the great pagoda, which might be com: pared roughly, to an ide cream cone upside down. The tip of the cone Is 921 feet above the ground. Burmese come from far and wide to visit this saered pagoda, So Jay WW OULD ST add an unmistakable touch of chic and an air of new ness to your mid-season and early fall appearance? Here's Women keenly alert to those moves which make for good style are finding Immediate in the That is, they are topping their flowery chif fons and afternoon prints, thelr paste) country club frocks and oth r of thelr dainty gowns which are top pretty to lay until the is on the pumpkin,” with perfectly stunning lit tle velvet hats all Paris is wearing In restaurants, to theaters and at all smart gatherings. And If you have already acquired your “first” fall frock or suit, why of course you will be to wear with it one of the fascinat. ing velvet k are now featuring, your costume with look which all Ru alluring gracing the style matter, even the is apt to be in t} However, assured white are definitely hol That “touch o* white 80 persistently ealls for is frequently supplied by the little of twisted or braid draped white velvet, iy.” wee how | subtle appeal Th . aside “frost such as wanting and chapeanxs which m new illiners go to that | ns stamp ast-minute covet, for are For vet the now that gnilor flattering shade that and ling their own is ewe olor vel he black which fashion toque wear with 1 one o white which the head Perhaps you are you find bid and c¢ capelines vells a halo about brims If your velvet crowned are They sure do a lot for any the ¢ 21 80 will answer attractive black all Dec shallow models in All these ostume wny of topping It with style i liners are placing considerable em phasis on this type of hat for imme dinte wear. The new just to the a change berets and toques such as holding he center the not fancy little cuffed bats are proving of women who seek the cap-fitting little Lave been glage the wider with a cuff the present cuff of 80 long, an io brims y fire moment, at the top of the pict to bri { back in truly Victorian In the original it of vio it il rove so good for general wear. Just below this model the hat shown is of gray \ for gray as a I or is high style for is In this #1 1 OC and the crown and brim a stiff wired crinol new and significa: move In realm of n nery, fo ys many 3 » hats on a foundatis We forgot tion that the little violet above described is also fr effect the left IRS veive is ever velvet, mi linery o« hardstitched veivet are made on frame-—a very the been worked fo velvet were men hat done over a The right stitched By the sorts of fancy stu with in the ing, shirring And now number in or, than which portant forespoken for months, The model conservative ond, wee the tog econ lute top to is which 1s effect. doling all velvet this velvet to form checkered way, mill are senson we me to the concluding gall im com this group--a velvet there is no more the shown type is a nitra ow i ilade Ara vy shallow crowns ing very gnilors have amnsin with narrow brims worn tilted one eve, £. 1532, Some over Western Nowspa ONE-PIECE FROCKS SIMPLE IN DESIGN Simplicity is the “keynote speech” of of the one-plece knit frocks that are going to be much worn when the election results begin to roll in next November, says an authority, in the Kansas City Star. Monotone for the most part, these slim frocks with either short or long sleeves. One still sees the boucle suit in some of its younger mois. A rum brown boucle, made In three had a three quarter length a slim skirt, worn with a lor fagotted (magic word, this fall) blouse The cont has widened smartly seamed sleeves, tightly b cull bands, a pulithrough sear! with ends of brown galyak and a fitted waistline, The one-piece frock able high-necked some new pleces nnd cream cont os nttoned slightly with the detach Cape ia not to be crowded off the smart street scene this autumn. In a rich wine novelty woolen it has matching octagonal but. tons tipped with silver metal that fasten the cape, trim the sleeves, and aid a deep side pleat In achieving a wrap-around effect, These coat froeks, by the way, are tremendously Ime portant fer early fall wear-—you really should have one, New Stockings Proof Against Mosquito Bites Stockings are smarter than no stock: ings at all this summer. , Mesh stock. ing mre tremendously popular, But what about mosquitoes and thelr un- plensant little stings? The newest In Posicry idens is the chemically treated stocking, It doesn't look any different from the stockings we're used to and you, yourself, ean't detect the cherileal, but the mosquito enn and he makes an hasty retreat, ws isi. Three-Quarter Coats This new length between the knees and the ankles is the smartest for summer coats whether they be of wool, slik or linen, or one of the gay pew striped cottons, NEW-LENGTH JACKET By CHERIE NICHOLAS Perhaps the most outstanding fea. ture of the definitely new soits is the three-quarter length of their jackels, It does not matter If the sult is strict ly tailored or designed long soft lines, ns In the model pictured, the new length ig its claim to Iast-min ute creation. The fact that the sult shown hans a slendorizing stralghtline skirt, nlso that the jacket buttons up to the neck and that the sleeves are of dolman Influence, establish the cor. rectness and chie of this model for fall Crops Cost Least on Manured Land Intelligent Soil Treatment Results in Profit for Farmer. By ¥V. H, CRANE, of Agriculture, University of 1linola.—WHKU Bervice, Pointing the way to wider margins of profit for the farmer, results from 19 out of 206 lllinois soil experiment fields show that crops have been grown at the lowest cost under a sys tem of soll treatment which Included manure. On 106 of these 10 fields ma- nure and limestone have been the most profitable soll treatment, Manure ranks the best general- purpose fertilizer. The manure from one horse or cow during a year con tains as much nitrogen as a half ton or more of nitrate soda nuch phosphate as 125 pounds of super- phosphite, a fas much as 200 pounds of mur: of for the past 20 years, Hiinois but als ania and elsew Culiegs us of ns nd ite not om Ohlo, re figure and of ma- Results only from Pennsyls mar agree well In establishing a $3 a ton as a able vilue for : se values performance in hin g the whole, provi Illinois experiment #8 a wheat an Acre, acre and hay yields one an acre. Manure dark colored sand and Hartsburg, vields ficre, corn an third of a ton onts yields shiels lizer on light. on do Is an effec colored soils #8 and is soils, Ones, sly 41 AdE Minonk alkall LaM« fields, representing highly product dark-colored soils, manure last was worth £1.58 a ton prod itive £2.48 a ton. i on the b as a yiel prover. On medium it was worth of £4.40 a ton land of southern lllinol of such as is represen field, more Expenses of Cow Testing Really an Investm Some farmers feel that ar rs Cow-lesting nss an additional and investment, be regarded. Any business mas increa wiation would expensy not an An to o his net returns maser te tion can hard prices, birt In esting assoc] ir cream $y , down or 1! per ait Cow Testing tin iid ns pthers in the tion nr behind In th of product The { tire association was four and cents below the ’ for their butterfat associa MNKs the en a half average price received average « These dairymen’s herds still are on the “good th Lit testing report in the Jedger Kenn lowa man Care of Sows’ Udde Failure an important part of the = tation p . resulted i pigs de farm, reports Farm The been tho his ng lIye to wash the udders o lan in the on a Whites counts Adviser Shuman farrowing houses and pens had cleaned and scrubbed with walter. However, when the they 72 hours and then died. Examination failed to reveal the cause, but at the gngeestion of Dr. Robert Graham, Uni- versity of Illinois, and State Veteri parian W, H. Welch, the of the sows that had not yet farrowed were washed with soap and water and painted with jodine. The pigs they farrowed have been successfully saved. The plan, when completely carried out, is a rem. edy for a large number of diseases — Prairie Farmer, pigs came lived about udders gwine sanitation Soybeans Helpful At the Michigan experimental sta. tion It has been found that cull beans, valued from one-half to two cooking does not exceed one-quarter The beans also stimulates the porcine ap leading to faster growth and At the Ohlo station It was found that cooking this crop re sulted In a saving of 115.7 pounds of feed for each 100 pounds of gain and after 30 weeks of feeding, pigs that reecived raw beans averaged 108 pounds In weight as contrasted with an average of 247 pounds for those re. celving the cooked beans but limited to the same amount of total feed as the mw bean group. -_-_ Potato Yigld Doubled Yields of late potatoes were In erensed 102 per cent in Cook county, IL, by five applications of bordeaux mixture. This treatment increased yield of No. 1 potatees in the early crop 27 per cent and the total yield 56 per cent, The season was dry and foliage disenses gave little trouble. Most of the bene fit was from control of leaf hoppers. The tests were supervised hy special ists for the Niinois experiment station, according fo an article In Capper's | Farmer. Hog Cholera Hazard to Be Kept in Mind Preventive Treatment Only Safe Precaution. The germs which cause hog chol- era pay no attention to economic con- ditions. They will kill hogs during a depression just as quickly as during more prosperous times, says a writer in Hoard's Dalryman, Before hog cholera serum and virus were avallable for protecting pigs agninst this disease, one could, In the fall of the year, count the farms in a given community on which the dis- ease was raging, by the smoke from fires burning dead hogs. Farmers were helpless. They mi Just well have tried to stop a cyclone discovery of hog cholera serum made [it possible to all, of this enorn venlive treatment tie; It must the animals made available, important swine produ nized whether he can afl losing | notwithstan IOUS 10 is no good be properly inject for whose benefit of fing farmers can hogs after they market, Farmers watch their hogs ] gE borhood mediately of iven neigh when an cholera break of Grass Land Made More Valuable by Fertilizer A book by Sir | i setor of resear Chemical Indi of the r the Kieble, Imperial some rederick di the is ur inferior of aral cer of foo iitroger double in, nearly seed soybeans them until of the a heavy tonnage of — eqn beans ment as from sovye should fat glands In come out value is Hay Curing hay in sweat ting it heat is really burning part of the hay to make heat to dry the rest, the United States Department of Agri- cultiire says, When the hay stacks a 1 of place, although there flame. This method, used where there is so much rainfall there little chance to sun-cure the hay, produces what is known as “brown hay.” Al though It be relished live stock, hay cured this way is inferior to properly sun-cured hay, as the heating produces a degree of de- terioration, the department says stacks by let- heats in the sweat combustion takes is no actual is may by made Agricultural Notes Remember, flies will breed anywhere in filth, - * - One important phase of a county's agricultural extension service is to teach the more successful farm meth. ods. » - > Ten and six-tenths per cent of the New York state farms grow dry beans, Beans represent one and eighttenths per cent of the total crop values of the state. - ® -* dosses of both life and property from fires on farms and in raral com: munities are increasing * - u The results of tests show that the first 400 pounds of fertilizer produced an increase in yield of glmost one pound of seed cotton for each pound of fertilizer used, - - - Better fertilizers are obtained whon dolomitic limestone lg uscd as filler rather than some inert substance like sand, say North Caroling farmers who have given such fertilizers a trial,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers