A A C—O ASHI SAN —— -" " ws os—— ws ASS SIM nt THE CENTRE REPORTER, CENTRE HALL, The Society of Men Who Wear Funny Hats The Hay-Fever Association The Quiet Birdmen The Woodland Bards The Caterpillar Club The Benjamin Franklins The National Society of Long Fellows The Society of Giant Engineers The Fossils The Cub Reporters’ Association The Sick and Sorry Club The Sons of Wild Jackasses’ Club The Ship Model-Makers’ Club The Whosit Club The Bean Barrel Club The Polar Bear Club The Ancient, Honorable and Mystical Order of Lapa Lapas The Royal Order of Hard-Boiled Owls with Rubber Ears The Ancient and Honorable Order of G. Wash, Pullers The Guild of Former Organ Pumpers The Ancient Order of Froth Blowers The Slumbering Ground Hog Lodge The International Bar Flies The Bald-Headed Club of America The Society of Authors Who Have Been Hissed The Circus Fans Association The Ancient and Honorable Order of Blue Goose The Six-Foot Association By ELMO SCOTT WATSON OME one has made the wise-crack ), that if two or more men meet any- where in the world and one of them is an Englishman, he will immedi ately get busy and organize a club, the iInsinuation being, of course, that the Englishman is by nature a “joiner.” Even if that were true, the fact remains that he has little, if anything, on his American cousin in this respect. For reliable statis. ics show that there are In the nited States more tha 125.000 or fraternal organizations y satisfy the longing of the majority of Americans for “belonging.” But that doesn't take into account the innumerable clubs, societies, associations and other organiza- tions and rare indeed Is the American who doesn't belong to one or more of these, All of these, of course, are organized for a “purpose”-—social, political, civie, business, scien tific, professional, patriotic and honorary-—and those purposes are earnestly fostered by mil- lions of earnest Americans. And some of these earnest Americans are so interested in fostering those earnest purposes that they make an earn- est effort to see how many of them they can Join—and then base their claim to fame on the number of organizations to which they belong. ut If some aforesaid earnest American be- comes just a bit tired of his membership in clubs which have a “purpose,” he still has an outlet for his “joining™ proclivities in some organ izations which are not so purposeful. These are the ones which have sometimes been designated as “freak and fun clubs,” and It Is with this type of organization that this article deals, So if you are a “joiner” and are looking for other club worlds to conquer, take a look at the list at the head of this article and decide which one you would like to join. Of course, the qualifications for some of them may be a bit difficult for you to meet, but if you aren't eligible for one, you may be for another, For instance, If you aren't a white person, six feet and one inch tall or more, you'd be almost instantly blackballed If you applied for member. ship in the National Society of Long Fellows or the Six-Foot association. The National Society of Long Fellows was started several years ago by Phil E. Zimmerman of Topeka, Kan, when he was hotel commissioner of the Sunflower state. Since that time the club has grown so rapidly that there are now several thousand members throughout the United States, Some of the objectives of the club are to get longer bath tubs, shirts, sox and other clothing, higher awnings, signs and ceilings, bigger seats fn theaters and leg-room between the rows, restaurant tables that do not require the Long Fellow to hold them up with his knees and pull. man berths in which they can sleep without doubling up like a jackknife. Among members are John Aasen of Los An- geles, Calif, who heads the list with a height of eight feet, nine and one-quarter Inches. Next tallest is Clif Thompson of Wisconsin, who is eight feet and six Inches. Three seven-footers are 0. R. Williams of Oklahoma and Ruth Dune ean and Forest Glenn of Illinois. Mr. Williams is seven feet and five inches, Miss Duncan Is seven feet and one Inch tall, and Mr, Glenn Is half an inch taller than she, Ten-year-old Rob- ert Wadlow of Alton, Ill, is a member, Robert is six feet and eleven inches tall, If your personal appearance doesn't qualify you for that one, perhaps an absence of hair on your head will make you a Knight of the Gleaming Bkull in the Bald Head Club of America. That club was started away back in 1000 when Paul Meade, a lawyer of New York, took a photo- graph of six buald-headed men seated on the steps of John Belden's store In Falls Village, Conn. By chance a copy of this photograph fell fnto the hands of John Rodemeyer, a Green- wich, Conn,, newspaper man. And presto! John then and there formed a club, Now It has more than 1.000 members and at every annual ban quet some member gives a stirring speech on “Halr Tonles Which Bald-Headed Barbers Bell to Bald-Headed Boobs” or some such subject, (P. 8. If you're addicted to covering your baldness with outiandish headgear, then there's a place for you in the Soclety of Men who Wear Funny Hats), Ever go to the circus? “Sure!” you answer. “Go every year-—don't care much about it my. self, but I have to take the children,” But just because you're a regular attendant, it doesn't that you're eligible for membership in the Fans of America—mnot unless at some time 5 in your juvenile career you earned you way into the show by carrying water for the elephant, Karl Kae Knecht, an Indiana newspaper car. toonist, who founded the C, F. A. some five years ago, Is authority for the statement that many successful men of today are proud of the fact that they once served the thirsty pachyderms and they're enthusiastic members of this club, In a certain New York restaurant there's an unusual booth for diners, Over the entrance of wars to be g tent are the and adorning the front are tw 1 circus banners, One boldly ans “Nono—the Wild Gir a Deadly heralds “La Belle Rosa—Flo Queen of the Deserts—Favorite side the tent are painted banner photograj This side show tent is the luncheor place of the “P.T. Barnum Top Neo. 1 « Fans of America,” Each state an arg has its “Tent” or “Top” named for some f circus man, The organization Is primarily fo un, i has a serious purpose, say its that is, to “help the circus toward and better things." Fans and lovers and friends of the cir- cus are banded together to see it perpetuated, and are eager that greater glory may come to the tented shows, If you missed out on the juvenile joy just men- tioned, perhaps you used to pump a pipe organ, If so, your name can be spread on the roll of the Gulld of Former Organ Pun an tion composed of those who, by thelr pledged statements, pumped a pipe organ in a church or chapel at some time In their youth, Its prin. cipal aim is serious—"to perpetuste the mem- ories of our decadent but honorable profession and to save for posterity some permanent evi- dence of the important part the pumper played in the musical and ecclesiastical progress of the ages” It has other aims—"to encourage the singing of the old hymns at Sunday night gath- erings” and “to prove that every successful man did not earn his first dollar selling newspapers™ -—but its primary purpose is to achieve a belated recognition, The guild was launched In 1926 under the favorable auspices of a natural divinity-—"Acolus, the Greek God and Keeper of the Winds —and with the slogan, “Pump, for the Wind Is Fleet ing." The first meeting was held in New York city In 1028. Officers, named after the stops on the organ, were elected. And the roster of members now holds the names of some of Amer- fea’s foremost citizens, Will Hays, the czar of the movies, did his pumping on a pipe organ in Sullivan, Ind, his birthplace. He received 10 cents for his efforts, and the dime was pald him at the conclusion of the morning church service. His mother then Jed him by the hand to his Sunday school class, where he placed the money In the usual col- lection. James Couzens, United States senator from Michigan, pumped In the Presbyterian church at Chatham, Ont. He was paid £5 a year. He pumped conscientiously for two years, At the end of that time he collected the $10 he had coming, and this was a part of the original money he invested In stock of the Ford Motor company, which eventually made him one of the nation’s richest men, The late Julius Rosenwald, chalrman of the board of directors of Sears, Roebuck & Co, was also a pumper, He labored In the Presbyterian church at Springfield, lll, and gladly accepted the 25-cent weekly stipend which was turned over quarterly, But if in your youth you didn’t turn an hon- est penny by pumping an organ, perhaps you did it in a printing office as a helper to the print- er-publisher of the home town paper. If that was far enough back, you probably “pulled” a George Washington hand press, a bit of back- breaking labor necessary in the old days If the newspaper-reading public was to be kept in- formed on the affairs of the community, If you did this, then you're eligible for membership in the Ancient and Honorable Order of G. Wash, Pullers, a society founded at the suggestion of Harry C. Webster, an old Missouri “print,” which carries on its membership rolls the name of a number of men who have risen high In the fleld of journalism and who are proud fo say that they got thelr start in newspaper work at the lever of an old G. Wash, Then there's the Cub Reporters’ association, composed of men who ns young Journalists sought the adventare which is popularly sup- to be found in newspaper work, found it, a words “Side o large, SVL TICE Khe Spe % 3 tos fr iYInales are his of circus performers and fsgsocin. perhaps, and now In age look back fondly toiled under the In editor” and dream porters—that of story.™ Anyone wl hazing, kidd the old-time €} gible {i ings, dough pr tell you that there's to be known as the Associat Used to Be Newspa paper Men T Are you a radie DX-er? Do you ting™ new stations os hore wate or long wave? J into the Roy Rubber Fars with the al Order of which mark such an initiatior Do you enjoy br or pond a the » to hear from you, frub hay feber? association will be g ship application blank, ad talkin na tRil Do you have uniimit as an members of the S located at Quarry accurate jodee has for its chief aim to extol the virtue of the groundhog, sich, they say, “has an in telligence of a higher order than other animal he tick of the blackberrs to the elephant in the jungle” and they oath to “defend him, his family and his reputa tion, and to guard him ns " that of any rom he slumbers It's not easy to get Into this lod Luxe, the Bondless Treasurer and other officers, But once you are elected, you can join in the annual ceremony on February 2 around the groundbog’s hole, Car Porters “George.” George Washington and George Dewey are their George M. Cohan, the official at arms, All of the foregoing are organizations to which rather limited to the certain profesgions. For in. stance, you'd have to be a sailor In the United States navy In order to belong to the Anclent, Honorable and Mystic Order of Lapa Lapa, al though there are many landlubbers who are eminently fitted for membership. The only qualification the prospective member mnst pos sess Is that he humbly acknowledge that he is a poor fish. But only sallors know how to initiate candidates properly, for it was two gallors who founded the organization at Shanghai, China, in 1927, and sailors are keeping the order going, You couldn't belong to the Quiet Birdmen un less you were a World war aviator nor to the Caterpillar club unless you were an aviator who had to make an emergency parachute jump to gave your life, and you would be barred from membership in the Whosit club unless you were a New York bond salesman engaged in selling municipal bonds, The list of these Interesting organizations could be extended indefinitely were It not for the fact that the author of this article has Just received notice of a meeting of those Interested in forming a Society for the Prevention of Form. ing More Bocieties and he feels obligated to leave at once to attend the meeting. (@ 7 Western Newspaper Union.) Nerves on edge. A head that throbs. You can’t stop work, but you can stop the Jainc-in a hurry. Jayer Aspirin will do it every time. Take two or three tablets, a swallow of water, and you're soon com- fortable. There's nothing half-way about the action of genuine aspirin. If the box says Bayer, you will get complete relief. These tablets should be in every shop, office, and home. Ready to relieve any sudden ache or pain, from a grumbling tooth to lumbago. Don't suffer with that neuralgia, neuritis, rheumatism, ete; or lose any time because of colds or sore throat. Get some Bayer Aspirin and just follow those proven eclions Jo instant relief. Get the genuine tablets, stamped with the Bayer cross. They cost very little, especially if you buy them by the bottle. Any doctor wi tell you they are harmless. They don't hurt the heart. They don't upset the stomach. So take them as pe as you have the least need of their quick comfort. Take enough for complete results, First Aid-Home Remedy W Chios 0, 1, — Ir sure Yourself eek ilens For the first itleal Asso 1 LOTT oe fi « perating for Ree OTH for the phiss Reveral redness ies of life. swernors and mayors of manicipal ” i ities have hy proclamation called at {tention to Joyed a dex “Fill 1 is the co! from the Dr. Pierce's Pellets are best for liver, bowels snd siomach. One little Pellet for s laxative—three for a cathartic. —Adv, Inference { He-—Something keeps | my mind She nust be pretty preying ob hungry. to include the css BCCOSRArY 18 your of Cod Lives Your von Luckner,” on Sanday d, you must be certain ins A and D are wt's Emulsion night al 9.50 roe. (ES. T.) over the Columbia 01] NORWEGIAN Animosity of War Softened by Time A swords taken from an Uhlan of. ficer, Baron von Lersner, in 1014, has been returned to that gentleman by Wing Commander Marix, D. 8B. O, who received It. Wing Commander Marix had landed at Ypres when he heard that a squadron of Uhlans were holding a chateau about twe miles away, and that they had two British prisoners with them. He set out for the chatean with a force of marines. The Germans came out, fired some shots and fied. He chased two of them and the marines shot down the horses, Marix covered the officer with his revolver and the Ger man surrendered and gave him his sword. He saw that the officer's horse was struggling In agony and wns ahout to shoot it whem he thought the German wonld like to do this himself, The Uhlan gave his word of honor that he would make no nse of the revolver other than to shoot his horse, and he re COD - LIVER turned it Immediately after. Maris then gave him back his sword. Ar riving In Ypres Von Lersner once more surrendered his sword, and Wing Commander Marix promised that if he came through the war alive he would endeavor to return it, Now after 17 years thls promise has been redeemed when Marix heard that his old enemy was alive and working in a Berlin bank.—Mont- real Family Herald FEA Hard to Please “I hear she has left her husband. What was the trouble?” “She sald she couldn't stand It to live with a man who couldn’ think up as many ways of making money az she could of spending it."—Cin- cinnatl Enquirer, The Better Way “1 see Joe always takes a girl home in a taxi” “Says it's cheaper than stopping at every soda fountain” store its natural gloss and vigor,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers