ARTIE His Adventures in Love, Life and the Pursuit of Happiness By GEORGE ADE . Artie Does Say Something : A FULL moon was hanging over the lake. The whole surface of small, uneasy waves was light- ed. 'Tlere was one path of shiny &plendor leading straight out toward the moon and where this path lost itself no one could tell, “There's sure some moon out to- night,” observed Artie. He had been flipping pebbles down the paved beach and into the water. Mamie sat with him on the stone uplift dividing the park driveway from the slope toward the water -with him, to be sure, but three or four feet away, with her hat in his lap. “It's perfectly lovely tonight,” she said. The two bleycles were leaned over against the stone uplift and the lamps threw oblong splotches of light on the gravel, Jehind Artle and Mamie was the gloomy range made by the heavy fol- iage of the park. In and out amid the dark banks of trees and along the level driveway moved glow specks like so many busy fireflies. Artie saw none of these, for he was intent on the spectacle of water and moonshine. “The guy that could put all that into a picture 'd be a bird, eh, Mamie?" “It's perfectly lovely.” “That's what it is, all right. don’t grow many like this cne™ “Sing something, Artie.” “What do you want me to do—drive the moon in? How did you ever come They Pr “Mother Wanted to Know hat's two that on string- to think I was a singer? or three times you've sprung me. Somebody must ‘a’ been in’ you." “Shy, the night we walked home awfully pretty. What was it? “It must 'a’ been somebody else you had on your staff that night.” “Why Artie Blanchard, you thing!" “Hello! time?” “I think It was awfully mean of yon to say that. I don’t ever ask you If you've been running around with some other girl.” “Why don't you? I'd tell you there's three or four others that kind o like my style” “They must be hard up.” “Is that Maybe I ain't so many but I'm a purty good thing, at that, I'm fresh every hour. No family ought to be without me. When mean Did I land on 807? you lose me you lose a capital prize, and don't ypu overlook i" In answef, Mamie picked at him. He held his cap over his face and laughingly begged of her to stop. “win you be good?” she asked. “Sure thing. But don't be so rough with your man.” “My man!” Mamie tilted her head back, looked up at the moon and shrieked with laughter, Artie was always vastly pleased to have Mamie understand his bantering way. He had often wondered If they ing each other seriously. Could mar. ried people keep up the joke? At this moment Artie had an In. sgpiration. The conversation was head. ed right. Why not steer it straight ahead? “Of courze,” he continued, “1 was kind o' kiddin’ when 1 sald that, but when It comes right down to cases it wasn't so much of a kid after all” Mamie laughed’ a little, but It was a forced laugh. She had suddenly be- come interested in a pebble which she was rolling under the toe of her shoe, “I don’t mean more 'n half I say,” sald Artie, tightening his fists with resolution and still lookin® out at the Iuminated lake, “but on the dead, famie, 1 ain't as foolish sometimes as I am others. That talk about there bein’ any other girl was all gut,” “Pshaw, 1 knew that.” “Gee, you know you've got me right, don’t you? And I guess you have, too, That ain't no le. Say, Mamie, what do you think? Miller was roastin’ me A——— the other day. He sald I was slow.” “Slow—how?" “About doin’ the nervy thing-—com- In’ out and sayin’ to you, ‘Here, let's fix it up.” “Fix what up?" “Oh, you don't know, do you? You aln't got no notion at all of what I'm gettin’ at, have you? That's too bad about you.” Mamie began te laugh and then she checked herself, for she observed that Artie was frowning, “Of course,” sald she, you mean-—that we" “All I mean is, what's the matter of gettin' it settled that it's goin’ to be a case of marry?” There! When he sald this it seemed him that his volece went further further away from him, as If one else were speaking the “1 suppose to and some words, Mamie was smiling quietly and turn- Ing her hat over and over. “lI guess that didn't scare you so much after all,” sald Artie, who at that moment felt that his whole exist- ence had stepped out from under a burden, “No,” she replied, as she continued to fuss with the hat, “Scare me?" “How nbout it bein’ up to you?” *Oh, it's all right, 1 guess.” She spoke with a frightened attempt to be careless, “This is of them cases where all “Well, you might know it's all right.” “It's a then." He said this rather solemnly. There was a pause, and then continued with embarrassment: “I'll tell you, Mame, it seemed to me we ought to have it through with. I didn’t want to keep you guessin' whether I want- ed to stick. Don't you think it was the wise move—huyh?” one guessin's barred.” a0 he some “It's all right—yes.” “I was goin’ to spring it on you sooner, but I aln’t never got the nerve If You'd Asked Me Yet.” to talk It ain't show, is “Not and then both them laughed, in a relieved way. “Don’t you think you'd better put your mother on to it?" asked Artie. “I don't know, Would you? “Sure. 1 guess she won't make no much about like that. to £0 to a things like askin' a girl exactly.” of Mamie laughed again. “That's a good one on you,” she said. “What is? “She wanted to know the other day it you'd asked me yet.” “Who, the old girl? Well, what do you know about that? Everybody's om to us, Mame." “1 don't care” “Care? They can bill the town with it If they want to. Come on; let's take another slow whirl through the park.” They quickly mounted and moved northward was no sound except of the turning wheels, Artie, leisurely and watching lighted pateh of roadway fleeing be fore his wheel, suddenly began to sing about “Marguerite.” He was singing absent-mindedly and merely to keep time with his thoughts, but Mamie heard him and swung her wheel 80 ns to ride up close beside him, “1 thought you she, laughing. “Oh, well,” sald Artie, grinning. “Yon know there are timeg-—there are times.” the soft rasp didn't sing,” sald (© by George Ade.) Remarkable Old Maps Preserved at London Maps are always very interesting things, and when one traces them back to their origin In the early days of the Egyptian and Greeks, it is wonderful to realize how long this form of skill has been in existence, for even as long ago as about 200 B, C., the first ideas of mapping were beginning to form, and the art went slowly on down the ages, until in 1492, the first globe was constructed, Just after the discovery of America. At an exhibition at the Sclence mu- seum, in London recently, some won- derful old maps were to be seen. Amongst others, was the map made by Captain Cook of Botany bay, In 1770, and also an old pirate’s map of Mex. ico, painted on skin. This remark. able old map was made as long ago as 1774, emanate ne ABOUT THE CHICKS Ir HAD been several weeks that Mother Hen had been waiting pa- tlently for the little chicks to hatch. It had seemed a long walt, but Mother Hen was patient, At last they began to come forth. Thelr little heads came first and they broke away from their shells Some might have thought they did it very quickly, but Mother Hen thought they were a trifle slow. She was so eager to see her darlings. In no time at all they were able to run about and play and follow their dear, devoted Mother Hen about the barnyard. They were so soft with their downy yellow feathers and their little bod- Mother Hen Had Every Reason to Be Proud, thelr little and cunning sweet, fes voices There were all, twelve darling Mother Hen was very proud, she might have She had every How the little her for help and they were learning to help them too, ut Mother hen cared for them, She scratched the earth she looked for little goodies for her darling wee yellow chicks. “Peep, peep, peep,” sald little yellow chick, “Mother looking after me” “Peep, peep, peep,” little chick, "Mother looking after “Peep, peep, were so s0 little twelve little bable been. reason to he chicks did protection was the one who for seeds, the first Hen is said the second yellow Hen is " me. peep,” said the hird ne." peep.” after fos PAG COT anid 1} Peep, peep. ald the DOO ODDO OOODOOHOOOOOOD0 How It Started By JEAN NEWTON “NEGRO” AND “NIGGER” the col as the “NTEGRO” our name for hb ored American, as well the Spaniards who first applied It to the earliest colored men who ap discovered on their native shores by Spanish explorers. “Negro” Is simply Also the term “nigger” used inter changeably with “negro” particular. ed sometimes as derogatory or a more or less contemptuously slang term, Is In fact inoffensive and a good jegitimate word. It is derived from “niger,” meaning black. (Copyright) O “A fly swatter is a knockout,” 0 Influenza Preventive? As a preventive of Influenza vinegar vapor is recommended by a writer In the Fruit Products Journal and Amer. fean Vinegar Industry—a bowl filled with perfumed vinegar near a radiator or stove or a saturated handkerchief. little yellow chick, looking after me.” “Peep, peep, peep,” sald little ‘yellow chick, looking after me” “Peep, peep, peep,” sald the sixth little yellow chick, “Mother Hen is looking after me.” “Peep, peep, peep,” sald the seventh little yellow chick, “Mother Hen is looking after me.” “Peep, peep, peep,” sald the elghth little yellow chick, “Mother Hen Is looking after me.” Peep, peep, peep,” sald the little yellow chick, “Mother looking after me” “Peep, peep, peep,” sald the tenth little yellow ehick, “Mother Hen Is looking after me.” “Peep, peep, peep,” sald the eleventh little yellow chick, “Mother Hen is looking after me.” “Peep, peep, peep,” sald the Twelfth little yellow chick, “Mother Hen is looking after me.” “Cluck, “Mother Hen Is the fifth “Mother Hen Is ninth Hen Is cluck,” sald Mother Hen, “I'm looking after all of you, my little dears, Don't run away from Stay near mother's wings. Don't careless, “De not to out in road. You're all very young “Isn't the barnyard fun, peep, peep,” said the first little chick. “Oh, the world is very bright.” said the second little yellow chick, with his head on one side in such a way to make him look like a little chick, “Peep, peep, it 1s” *T wa ghted I saw the sald the third little yellow peep.’ was me, be careful the get yet, ns very ise a” deli v hen 80 pleased when * sald the fourth lit looks of ittle yellow chi “Peep, peep, 80 was seventh little chick. here,” yellow “Peep, peep, the same the eighth little yellow chick “Peep, peep, 1 was ninth little yellow chick, “Peep, I Just wanted away,” stiid the too," sald the to be tenth little peep, out right yellow ch “Peep. peep, so did LL” enth i “een, peer sald the elev. little yellow there was a By H. IRVING KING FOWLS AND SNAKE BITES N MANY parts of the country the flesh of a fow! 18 regarded as a sure cure for snakebite: in fact, the super stition is rather general. There are sections also where the same “folk medicine” is recommended for rheuma tiem, shingles, scarlet’ fever and diph- theria, There are several variations of the superstition: "n some sections it is In sisted that the application made should be the raw and bleeding flesh of a fowl which has been stunned and is still alive, while in others It Is sufficient that the fowl be newly killed. This superstition should read “a cock” In stead of a “fowl,” and there are places where they still say that a cock should be used in case of a man and a hen in case a woman is to be cured, The origin of the superstition is easily seen in the relation which the cock bore In mythology to Aesculapius, the god of medicine and the son of Apollo, the sun-god. The cock’s connection with the ‘sun. whose first beams he hails with his crow. ing, made him a particularly accept. able and appropriate offering to Apollo's son, “Sacrifice a cock to Aesculapios” were the last words of Socrates Though the ages have broadened the superstition a little so that we no long. er are particular as to the ses of the fowl sacrificed, yet when we attempt to cure disease or snakebite by the application of the flesh of a newly killed fowl we are, In effect, sacrific. ing a cock to Aesculapius in the hope that the old Greek god will accept the sacrifice and give relief, (® by MeClure Newspaper Eyndicate.) Omi. Cot Idea From Hoop Skirts One can hardly see any connection between hoop skirts and the electri. eal industry, but one may be traced. strangely enough, which took place in the early days of the electrical de. velopment. The first cables were not insulated satisfactorily till Walter T Glover, an Englishman who braided steel hoops with eotton, had an In. spiration. Crinolines were going out —~g0 was his business. So he used his machinery for Insulating copper wire with cotton brald, and he soon had no cause to regret the passing of the crinoline, Greek Louise Dresser Louise Dresser (in private life, Mrs. Jack Gardiner), is a woman who has allowed herself to mature gracefully, and the world pays homage to her loveliness. She is featured in the Movietone, “The Black Diamond.” The Gardinerg live in their charming home in Glendale, Calif.; she is a reg- back fence; has a wonderful growing vegetables and flowers. She is a great lover of pets. Onn DOOD For Meditation 000000 By LEONARD A. BARRETT BOGO0 THE GOLDEN RULE Com LUCIUS, deavored prosperity He procials done If yo wil You just what 1h give, This you nega- tive precept, whi was the Mar of Greatest just I A pt ilosophy the World's vhose golden rule of the hatsoever ye would that was Osite One by men to kind others, to you, If you express do ye even so wish to receive kindness to ‘Give to the world the best you have and the best will come hack to sou.” A rule of life applicabie to indl- viduals is likewise applicable to com. munities and to nations, In our in- ternational we have been struggling We fought the greatest war in mod. ern times thinking we would attain it, but we discover that we do not possess it. The experiences encoun- tered in this struggle have taught us some lessons, Certainly we discov ered that peace cannot be obtained by any rule or contract which elim- Inates human relations. A negative attitude toward life will never as- sure peace. “Do not fire at an enemy if you do not wish to be fired upon.” will never hring peace, We have been en- deavoring to have peace by spending large sums upon armies and navies with no definite result. Why not try a theory of life which was advocated by the world's greatest teacher? Why not emphasize In our international attitude the same gpirit we wish ex. pressed toward ourselves? Suppose we spend less upon preparations for war and more upon methods that will bring about a feeling of good will. Why not substitute for a negative at. titude a constructive program that will remove suspicion and stimulate mutual trust, confidence and depend- ence? If half the money spent upon armaments had been spent upon cre. ating good will we would have had an international peace long ago. (@®, 1929, Western Newspaper Union.) KIehen CABINET [= (©). 1923, Western Newspaper Union.) What means this sense of late. ness that so comes over one now, as If the rest of the year were down hill? How early in the year it begins to be late~—~Thoreasus Journal, -- Amid the clamor of the street The fancy often fills With far off thoughts; I live again Among the streams and hills. -Willlam A. Dunn. SUMMER SWEETS. We all enjoy good one energy producing mediately absorbed: so an Ideal tidbit to help us over the tired spots. Atlantic City Salt.Wa- ter Taffy.—Mix one cup- ful of sugar with a ta- blespoonful of corn starch, add two-thirds of a cupful of corn sirup, one-half cupful of water tablespoonful butter; stir untill the point is reached, then boil until a firin ball is wheo a drop is tried In cold water. { Add one-fourth teaspoonful of salt { and flavoring, and pour out to cool on a well greased platter. It is im- candy. food and and a of boiling made any desired | When cold enough to handle, pull un- til it is smooth and light One may add the flavoring to it while pulling, and have a variety of flavor. Cut into small bits with the shears wrap in waxed paper and keep in a cool dry place. Raisin Fudge.—Cook together two cupfuls of light brown sugar, seven- | eights cupful thin cream until | & little dropped in water will form a | firm soft ball. Pour out to esol nnd when just ready to handle, turn and mold with a ula until it gets | creamy and get firm, then add one-half cup- ful ns i poonful Spread the ral- sins press tl fudge into a but- to squares of large spat begins to using the raisins, ng chopped fine and one-half te of vanilla, tered } into when cold. mold Pralines. SWesiness everywhere. Boil vi sugar with digsalve gtrand when spoon. Stir iripped in one n when and drop Flat- when wrap from a fork pound of evenly shelled pecans and flavor marble slah, ach one and 1 I53- Mexican Orange Candy.— f butter, one one-half con rind of two two cul Oranges, of sugar Melt one the milk, add and stir the two the soft grated or- Beat until fuls Wf pecans. scaid caramel add cook to he butter, the nuts. stage, ange rind cool. The Wholesome Date. Dates are well liked by every- body that they need no recommenda- tion except to re- member that young children and oid people who have Jost their teeth should not eat them in their natural state, Soften in boiling water and press through a sieve when giving to a year-old ehild or one who has not good grinding teeth. Uncooked dates cut into small pleces added to a cereal or a sand- wich may be given a child after the third birthday. Those troubled with diabetes shoold not eat dates. For those who enjoy too much sweet, a few dates will satisfy the craving without putting on too much weight. Date and Celery Sandwiches. —(Cut one-half package of dates into slices, five or six, crosswise. Cut one-half cupful of celery into fine dice, moisten with cream or salad dressing to bind and use as filling for whole wheat bread. Date Paste.—This may be prepared and kept for several weeks in the ice box or cold place if packed in a glass- covered jar. Take one package of dates, three-fourths of a cupful of wal- nuts measured after chopping, one-half pound of figs. Pit the dates, shell the walnuts, chop all through a meat grinder or in a wooden bowl, mix un- til the figs, dates and nuts are of the consistency to spread by adding cream, orange juice or any other fruit juice at hand. If the paste is to be stored, add only a small amount of water: more of the Juices may be added as it is used. A Pint of Jam —Take one package of dutes, one cupful of cranberries, one pint of water and one-half cupful of sugar. Pit the dates and place them with the water in a saucepan with the chopped cranberries. Cook gently for twenty minutes, stirring often. Add the sugar and cook ten minutes, then place in jars and seal. Do not fear that a litte candy daily will Increase your walst meas ure, for a reasonable amount Is neces sary for good health, 80
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