A Lrrrim Previous.—They were talking acreas the lunch table about a prominent Eastern man who married his cook within six months after his wife's death, and one of the gentlemen observed: *‘1f that is the onse I want nothing more to do with him,” ‘Bat he was pinched, you know,’ protested a second, “How?” **Why, he had been cleaned out by a deal in oil, while the cook had made £60,000 in wheat.” *Oh—ah—~I see. That alters the oase. One must prowect his commer- cial integrity, even if he marries his washwoman with the crape on his hat, Still, I shou'd have advised him to put up a reascnable margin on pork, and held the cook off for three months longer,” The Big Brewery. Mr. J. Hirsch, College Point Brew- ery, L. I, N.Y, writes that he employs a large number of horses and hands, and having tried St. Jacob's Oil, the great pain-cure, for rheumatism, actes and pains of his men, and splints, thrush affections of his horses finds it superior to all remedies, out it, orm A Mesa Pasror—*' Yes, my dear sir, there is high authority for believing that riches, if not a siv, are at least a bar to en- trance into esternal bliss.” Wealthy Bachelor—* Dear! did not suppose that the camel and the needle was to be taken hiterally.” Pastor—** Bat it is,” Wealihy Bachelor—*‘I must reduce my wealth; allow it to be returned to general circulation and once more be- come poor.” Pastor—*‘Noble man! Will you found a memorial church?” Wealthy Bachelor—*Oh, no! I shall ged married.’ dear! I “Ma,” said the small boy, as they when we get back.” ‘What willit be?” inquired his mother. *‘Why, all the building's will bea different color.” ‘‘Nonseuse, child, what gave you that idea?” *‘Well, pa told Mr, night that when you and me went away he was going to paint the town red, mother wouldn't let him stand up on the seat or buy him any candy, Solid Comfort. Every one likes to take solid comfort and takes a few doses at the first symp- tism, Biliousness, Jaundice or any af- fection of the Liver, Kidneys or Bow- els, It is a purely vegetable com- pound of roots, leaves and berries troubles. It removes the canse of disease and for- tifies the system against new attacks, ALM:HOUSE STEWARD — “What was your {former occupation?” New Inmate—*‘I was a barber, sir, “*A barber? It certainly should not take much physical strength for thas work, Why don't you keep atit in- stead of coming to an almshonse? Are you not still able to shave a customer?” “Yea, but 1 would starve at it,” “That is strange!” “You see I am bald ” “What has that to do with it?” tives,” Ir you happen to notice a young man with a merry hight in his eye, and a roll of manuscript under his arm, en- tering the office of a newspaper, and shortly after emerging with a haggard expression of countenance, but stifl chnging to that manuscript, you ean wager your existence that he is a col- upon the public a grand and moral no spring in it, The Testimony of a Physician. Beecher, M. D., says: “For several years I have been using a Cough Balsam, called Dr. Wm. Hall's Balsam for the Lungs, and | in almost every case through my prac- | tice I have had entire success. I have | used and prescribed hundreds of bottles James Iowa, of Sigourney, when I was surgeon of Hospital No. Louisville, Ky." pA AP ‘ARE there notimes,” said a man, en- | tering the office of a busy editor, *‘when | you ean write better than at other | times?’ “Yes.” *‘Ah, 1 thought so, mental condition I have no doubt, “When I am alone,” the editor re- made no impression, continued to talk suggested that a section of the wall swung on hinges, “Rough on Rats,”” Clears out rats, mice, roaches, flies, anta, hed- bugs, skunks, chipmunks, govhers, 18c. Druggista. an infant to make iv sleep are exceed- ingly injurious, We doa’t think so; the rest of the family are much more comfortable, DR. KLixem Creat Nerve [estorer is the Husrvel of the age for all nerve diseases. All iadehinia. 1 freee. Send to “i Arch Street, Pa ““Yms, my boy,” said Mr, Malaprop to his son, ‘animals that eat meat are carboniferous, while those like our selves, that eat both flesh and vege- tables, are amphibious,” Piso’'s Remedy for Oatarrh 1s a certain cure for that very obnoxious disease. Tuts is the season when the men have their hair out so short that their wives can use the top of hubby's head “ov nutmeg graters, Ax old-fashioned and most delicious way to preserve strawberries is to soat- ter sugar over the fresh berries; sprinkle them bountifully with sugar as if you were to serve them at the table; let them stand two or three hours, then drain off the syrup whieh has formed, let it boil up for twoor three minutes, put the berries into it and let them re- main there until they are thoroughly scalded; then remove the berries, draining them, spread them on plates, and set shem where the sun and wind can find them, Bring them in at night and set mn the oven; if this is warm, two or three days will harden them sufficiently so that yon can put them away in glass jars, sprinkle a little dry sugar over each layer; oherries and plums may be prepared in the same way, and if any syrup is left in the kettle it may be boiled until thick and be poured over the fruit after that is on the plates, —— sti—— juporianr, When you visit or leave New York City, save Baggage Expressage and Carriage Hire, and stop tral Depot. Eiegant rooms, Gtted up ata cost of one mil dollars, reduced to $1 and upwards per | day. European Pian. Elevator. Hestauraat supplied with the best. Ilorse cars, stages and elevate 1 raliroad to all depots. Familes can live lion than at any other first-class hosel in the city, To a — PRESEAVE Prums , WITHOUT THR egg or magnum bonum plums; them until cold; then pull off the skins. ia teacup of water for fruit; make it boiling hot and pour it over; let them remain for a day or two, then drain it off and boil again; skim it clear and pour it hot over the plums; let them romain until the next day, | then put them over the fire in the syrup; boil them very gently until skimmer into the pots or jars; { syrup until rich and thick; sake off any soum which may arise, then let it cool ! and settle, and pour it over the plums, If brown sugar 1s used, which is quite it, The Record of the Fairs, The superiority of Wells, Richardson & Co's. others made, is again demonstrated by its record at the Autumual Fairs, The | test of practical use is what tells the | story, and the great valae the pre- miums given by the Agricltural Fairs, ! Oi { lies in the fact, that the judges in these | cases are regular farmers, who | what their needs are and what will sup- | ply them. Wells, Richardson & Co's Im- proved Batter Color, which ed, is put ap in a vegetable oll go pre- pared that it cannot become rancid, a most important property, the lack of which is fatal to so many of the Butter- Colors offered for sale. It natural oolor, which is unattained is the cheapest. Color in the market, a CARROTS AND CREAM, — Choose small carrots, scrape them well, them in halves, and blanch them for | two minutes in salted water; i a little salt and sugar, let | sprinkle a little flour over them, add a | small quantity of good white stock; let it boil and remove to the side | tire; when the carrots are done, thicken | them with the yolks of two eggs beaten | smooth with milk or { pinch of grated nutmeg and a piece of butter; as the butter dissolves dish | them up. | York firms for imitating the “‘silk hang- | of their standard blue ling trade. By this means inferior | flannels were sold as genuine Middle- | sex. Before coming to trial the firms | compromised by paying the Middlesex . $11,000 in settlement, smr— A prricar® and nourishing dish is | made of one pmt of perfectly sweet | cream, one heaping tablespoonful of | wine-glass of port wine or of brandy, Bow sugar enough tv suit the taste, Heat gradually and when almost at the | boiling point, or indeed, into a bowl, or mould; flavor with { lemon or vanilla unless you prefer fhe brandy flavor, BEF” Pretty us a picture. Twenty- | four beautiful colors of the Diamond | Dyes, for 8ilk, Wool, Cotton, &e., 10e, ! each, | Wells, Vi. Lisa +Richardson & Co,, Burlington, to bol, Cook till tender, | bo preserved from mold, lt the sur. face 18 covered one-fourth of an inch deep with loaf sugar, finely pulverized, they will keep in goed condition and | no mould penetrate, aattcmlim—— A baidheaded man, who has heard that the hairs of a man’s head are num- bered, wants to know if there is not some place where he can obtain the back numbers, Oarboline will supply the demand, Tuam livers of chickens and turkeys are nioe fried with a fow thin slices of bacon, Oat the liver and bacon very thin; season with pepper and salt, This is a good breakfast dish, Heart Pains, Dropsical Swell Diwat on, ra ry Sleopiosuntes cured by i thanith Hen Henewer.” Covren “pounded in a HoT and roasted on an iron piste, jugar on hot coals, and vinegar led rey myrrh and sprinkled on ne floor and farpiture of a sick room are excellent deodorizem, Indiges AMERIOAN—'*Do you mean to say that you have actually abandoned your | large estate in Ireland and come to Amerioa to begin life anew?” New Arrival —‘‘Yes, it is true, “Bus I understand that you owned a great many acres, and that the land is vory fertile, What did you raise prin- cipally?” *‘Rents,"” ““Hal! ha! I forgot that in Ireland the land-owners don’t do their own " raise?” “Cain.” I ““The play's the thing, Wherein I'll reach the conscience of the king." Plorce’s “Pleasant Purgative Pellets'® (the original Little Liver Pills) are the most effectual disease, cleansing the boweis gnd system, By druggists, . ne NEENE First New YORKER- “How did you | nurt your arm?” Second New Yorker—*‘‘I missed the boat from Uedloe's Island the night, and while wandering First New Yorker—*Ah, I see. You - - - Avy Small Boy, with » Stick, can kill a tiger, —if the tiger happens to be found when only a little cub. Bo consump- tion, that deadliest and most feared of ‘dis- eases, in this country, can assuredly be con- quered and destroyed if Dr, Plerce’s ‘Gol be employed early. Axateur TraoBDIAN—‘‘Yes, sir; me,” Uasympathising Stranger—*'Indeed! How you must suffer,’ Amateur Tragedisn—‘**SBufler?” Unsympathising Stranger—*'Yes, it Dyspepsia, liver complaint, and kindred For treatise giving successful solf-treatment address WorLp's Disrex. MEDICAL AssocCiartiox, Buffalo, Y. comission ssked a bore of “Waar is this?" a a long stnip of paper pasted on the wall; minutes for a new dictionary of profanity?” “Oh, no,” replied the editor, nonchalantly; *‘that is only a list of adjectives to be applied to my esteemed contemporaries during the election campaign.” “Hochu- FP aiba.’ . completes cure, all Kidney, Bladder and i iseason, soaldl irritation. Stone, Catarrh of Bladder, $1. Druggista —— I'd like to see a woman blow me up as bprigg's wife blows her husband up,” remarked on Toesday, *‘I know of a woman who might,” suggest- ed a bystander. “Who is it, like to know?" “Dinah might.” Quick Urinary raved, az. “INDEED, Hay-Faven. X can reccommend Ely's 1 was afflicted for 25 years, and never before found permanent relief, —W, H. Has- kins, Marshfield, Vi Hax-Fevenr, 1 have been a Hay- three years; have often heard Ely's Cream Balm spoken of in the highest terms, I used it, and with the most wonderful success, —T, 8S. Garr, Syracuse, N. Y, ————— . “Waar do yon think of Brown's case?” asked White, “Do you think he'll win?’ ‘“No,"” repiied Bass; “‘the result will be a disagreement of the jury.” **What makes you think so?” or dyspeptic. Nothing agrees with him, e— “Rough on Corns.” Ask for Wells “Rough on Corna™ 15a Com picts care. Hard or soft corns, warts, bunions. —— A ——————— Strurrep Perrens: Get the large bell take out the seeds, then fill with the One very small cucumber, a of picalilli, and a tiny the pepper, thus securing its contents, heat sufficient vinegar to eover them, over them and close Sightly, w and when Quixon IRLLy, — Take clean nioe i out his fruit, cultivates his orchard, manures with commercial fertilizers and | triras his trees every year. The result | usually is that he gets better crops than | befors, while the extra quality of the | fruit brings higher prices for it In mar- kot. I A TRASPOONPUL of borax in the last | water 1n which clothes are rinsed will | whiten them surprisingly. Pound the | borax so it will dissolve easily, This is | especially good to remove the yellow | that time gives to white garments that | have been laid away for two or three | years, Although a great improvement was made in the ferro-prussiate process for the reproduction of drawings in giving i blue lines on white ground, it was | never quite satisfactory. It has been superseded by a process which, indeed, requires a lithographio press for print. | ing off the copies, but which otherwise is effected by means of the same appa | ratus as the ‘‘blue” copies, cess, which ia now adopted by the Del- gian department of Pouts et Chaussces, | white ground, | with Jews’ pitch, thinned with organio | acids, The trecing is placed over it in | a framo with glass above, as in the fer | ro-prussiate process, and exposed to the | sun, “a Medicines, remed isn, Take al CUres, Fever and billous Spec fics, and Nerve fo ree Lvere, 11 these, gualities - best best medicines ree concentrated — Fail, # nd 1 Since then My t all i the Le st pl | the tracing. The plate is washed, which kas the «fsot of removing the | portions still softs that have not been the lines, as in ordinary etohing, and i the plate is polished to give sharpness to the lines. Any number of copies may then be struck off with printers’ | ink, ss in copper-plate printing. The plates may be prepared iu the office, RB I i sitters h welling racle 1 r becca me, 1 gone ral 1881, unable to be ab me up and fllled w ood th at ived 10 b from my liver, ys, and it has wor otherwise |] wo J. W. Mor Ten Liles amily and } arg dowy ¢ Lil u with debt, caused by a = for dectoring. ith the the bed uid EY, ty | struck off. A Smyrna letter says: | covers the bottom of the foot, except a slight opening sometimes in the centre, without calks and turned up behind, This flat shoe is pailed on with three uails, having large, projecting heads answering as calks ou each side close | together near the toe. This method of shoeing the horse is necessary to prolec the whole foot from the endless couta- sion of sharp rocks or stones which fill most of the roads, The horse picks his | way carefully and Lifts and plants hus feet delicately and yet quickly among the rocks, rarely hitting bis toe or fail- ing to find the one secure footing within reach. He is a perfect mountain horse and is left whare he can get close to his sasociates he is ready to try his teeth or his heels, —————— Ol Marks — Good housekeepers are frequently annoyed by oil marks om papered walls, or thoughtless persons have lain their heads, removed by water and pipe clay or fulier's earth, and laying it om the surface without | ruobing it om, else the patiern of the paper will then likeiy be injured Leave the paste on all night, In the morning it cam be brashed off and the spot will have disappeared, but » renewal of the operation may be necessary if the oil mark 1s old, ——— As Professor Loomis, Yale College, the violent storms tu the United Slates is 1587 miles, and in the Atlantic Ocean miles, Severe storms in the interiors of ¥arope have nearly the satne geographical extent as those which occur on the Atlantic. ———— Cherry stain for fine wood is thus prepared: Boil notil dissolved four oun- cording to of ‘My ’ J hdn lin a copper kettle; whole on the fire half an hour longer, and then the stain is ready for use, “St. Bernard & The best eure for 1. Dative BIL, {OU oom amin, hd D EN ES, HEADACHE APEPSIA Price, 8 conta, a LL or Ly Bampios sett YRER ond ST. BERNARD VEGETABLE PILL MAKERS, 2 Marcer Street, Now York you cannot tell do not put jelly. IT is not known to every woman, but together; a stout thread is needed, and the edges must not be drawn too closely A most excellent dish for dessert is made of a cake about an inch and a half deep after it is baked, The cake be rich, Put a light | meringue on the top; brown this in | cut the oake in square | or with lemon sauce, The sauce must be | at the boiling point, and it should be poured around the cake so that it will penetrate it readily, If properly made this is delicions. Arvrg Jerry, ~ Wash snd quarter kettle and cover with water, Boil till perfectly soft, strain off the juice and to every pint allow a pint of sugar. Don’t put in a spoon after the sugar dissolves, Boil an hour or more, or until it jellies, When done strain through a flannel bag. 1 prefer strain. ing when the jelly is about halt done, following directions as given lum roed | jelly, Shen when my jelly is pun I heat my jelly glasses, A with lukewarm: water, then boiling and in. After it cools pour the jelly right fasten them up. Often the -"p Debit atic ¢ Jisle- Bt. Bev Tork. or Wormy Veing of the Serotem potad my of Lost EA A arehd y sad painlessly our Sor iain ASENCY . i Hale’ 8. Honey FOR PERSONS OF ALL AGES A WONDERFUL CURE POR COUGHS, QOLDA.C ROU P, WHOOPING COUGH, BRON BITS, ARE CONBUMP. N. NISHES COUGHS to or EA BREAKS UP COLDS lke magic; IT CURES, in C fact, where other remedies have falled, Kean it in readiness, Of all Drugeiets at 80e. and }dnrgest, cheapest. LOOK OUT FOR IMITATIONS, he's Toothache Drops Care in one min: ute. German « orn Remover bw dle Coras and Bunions DR. LINDSEY’S | The Great Remedy, cares Boils, Pimples, Sore i Eyes, Scrofula, Malaria, and all Biood Diseases. R. E. SELLERS & CO., Props, PITTSBURG PA. | = SP HOP [=:@ PLASTER fhe Oriok in the Rack, Bide or Wip, Neureigia, un Joints and Muscles, Sore Ch Kidnoy Troubles and all pains or aches either Jooal or od. It fitreng the | one and Stimulates the parts, The virtues of hops come An apply. Superior to ce 85 cents or b for BR ERA CREAT z SUCCESS $1.00. Bold by drug se and country EF The best family pill ads. Htwwler’s thomuth and v Pleasant in action sarake, FI men, and in and nome of aud I wan keep ce noe, you cau us w € 0 I ous ” uf with * WATC a A. gion. § a ‘EE EEE EEE RES] do He i ww” or © HX WAT b, Bo. Manchawtar ( sre guaranteed B. Mayer, the sunoes ppecialiet. Fase sl onoe 5 eos ‘ tesled by hundre wins, AGvins Al ITIYE CURE} painfal Complal nis 5 * in for or wounds © NER on fall peiich ¥ a German, German an coiish. The £87 Bad (nespest R riy v » * PE ls ds TARE fhe legitimote heal spdm, and thal 1 Goes aden can of the best ¢ As of Kidney D ros when olher Tone inms in ite favor and who rT wr MC T1Con Eo ne vian rice $1.00 | Book. and News Dealers NO CTHER % In the CL - Price Safe and off £35 cents a bottle, ereons Rertored NES GREAT eases ont rv Only “wrt os aad joy Forever, riental 387 3 i the skin, other or uattc or Magical RRR. RADWAY'S READY RELIEF, PAIR with one thorough BOWEL COMPLAINTS, DYBRENTERY, DIARARGEA, CHOL- ERA VORBUS. twill, in a few minu es, when AEen R000 io directions, cure Cramps s Sour Blomach, Heartburn, Bick Hesduche, BUMMER OOM PLAIRT, Diarrhoea, Dyseniery, Coc, Wind io Travelers should siways carry a bottle of RAD- WAY'S HEADY RELIEF with them A 8 drops in water will preve ul slekness or pains fr rhange of water. 111s better than French Br or Butlers as a stimulant THE TRUE RELIEF. RADWAY'S HEADY RELIEF is the only clmedial ageul in vogus that insiantly stops » ain, inrlanly relieves and soon cures headache, whether sick Or nervous, toothache, Beurs gia, Bervousness and gieepior sess, Theumatiom, jum. rhe pains and weal ack, Epine or Ane: E, pains around the | ! F, Ld EE Joints, spra ns, bruises, Hit insect —y pains of Ends, Headway iis Hel ef will af- ford ie ease, gud ied use for a few days « 1s perms MALARIA IN ITS VARIOUS FORRES, FEVER ANWM ALLE is not a remedial agent in this world thal wili core Fever and Ague and all other Ma- larions, Billions, Scarlet, Typuoid, Yellow snd eller levers (aided by RAD HAYS PILLS) se quickly as BADWAY's READY RELIEF. Price fifty cenin. Bold by druggisia { Dr. Badway's Barsaparillian Resolvent, The Creat Blood Purifler, Yor cure of all chronic diseases, dBorofaia, Cen- ¥ Cliesrs, Chronic Bigdder and is aii fe There re Disease, i (heumall 1, Krywipeias, Kidoer., r Complaints, Dyspeps a, Affections of the lungs and Throat, purifies t « Blood, resoriag bealll and vigor. | Radway's Sarsaparillian Resolvent, A remedy composed of lagredients of eXiraor- dipary medical properties, essential 0 purify, Beal, re A and lovigorsie (he Lroken-down and wasted F-QUICK, PLEASANT, SAFE and PERMA NENT In is trealinent and cure. BOLD BY DEUGGINTS. Price, $1.00 por bottle, Radway’s Regul: iting Pills The Great Liver and Remedy. Perfect, Pargative. Boothing, Aperi- ent, Act without Pain, Always Reliable and Natural in their Operations. A VEGETABLE SUBSTITUTE FOR CALOMEL. Perfectly tasielon, elegantly costed with sweet gum, purge, regu sie, purify, cieanse and streng- shen RApwaT'E Pi LA lor the eure of all disorders of he Slomsch, Liver, Aneyn, Biadder, Fan 5 the Back, Loss of Ag auguor, Nerv. ous Diseases. Headache. yrstl ii, COS veness, indigestion, Dyspepsia, BB Housness, Fever, In fn mat on of the Bowels, Pi jos, and sl ments «f the Internal Viscera Parely he, conlalning no mercury, minerals, or deglenons J Stomach der Grogs A few domes of Rapway's Pras will free © eyslem from he AVOVS. named disorders. I'rics ¥6 cents per b Iruggisia - READ FALSE AND TRUE" io RADWAY & UL, No =n inform slion w ib thousands will to you. be seme. To the Pablie, Be sure and sak for Hapwavy's, and see Ua he Dame “RapWAY” Ison what you boy. ————— — -~ EE Ea, R88 BR 1 Can yg Cured! wHALL'S wesBALSAM LUNGS. Cures Consumption, Colds, Paeamoni finenza. Bronchial Difcuities, Brenc Hoarseness, sthma, Croap, Whoo ing Cough, nH Diseas of ihe Bre Organs, It soothes and heals the Mem rapt. of the Lungs, inflamed and poisoned by the disrase, and prevents the ni fai swents aad tightness across the chest which RECOpRR it. Consumption in pet an incurable ma dy. HALLS, BALSAM will cure you, evew though nrofossionnl ald fails, - ()7 FREE os arg pretty chromo reward mer oredit cards. - Price } 1 free. a Warren, x AGENTS WANTED for che LIVES o* BLAINE & CLEVELAND 8 __HENDRIC S, by Sur Ey agri hy ie vineind Outfits Free Now Indl We A aria a $ heh b Pesos, ’ 50. 50 pero pa Apents “are a mmke honey fas « Lg Terms, HARTFORD Pt WN ©. Hartford, « mhed, thereby doubling thelr ver dectiy No roach aloes welarrad by MILLI INS of al) CAR THEM? If pot, why not? We postpar TRIAL COLLAR Cafle, #10 BB In, ford classes. MO YOU Ww Dealers sell 16 for 2a FREE, 12w 18 in. or pair o Loe Mention ev Ria or REYE IRLE COLLAR Co, Factory: Casnrinon Mass AGENTS WANTED for the LIVES BLAINE AND LOgAN fred, Authentic, Impartisl Comilete, the Sew for Batra Te ©. Mart GOOD NEWS ap —— Comm onie ever of to ite natural produce a hew where it has fallen affect woke, of, ht Oireninm ie LEARN: unk i QE i SL a or pe
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers