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There oomw a night, oh, dear and tm I
Along the path that we pnnrae—
Ita abadow drink* th# morning dew ;
Weaee !♦ creep
Aoroaa the living hloom vre tread.
A thing too fugitive to drea 1,
And vat •• weep
I.'ght tear* for rainbow war* meet ;
Hvlf-fcar*, t a' quicken failing heat.
And prick osir l.y bli** to *weet
Thai ele might sometimes in a trance.
Too prodigal of time and chance.
Forget to blea*!
If in mid-heaven hnng o* T tan,
If all onr path* ware overrun
With (lower* that raieaad the grace* won
From ahadow* grav,
Beloved, thon mightat fail to keep
My feat from falling on the elcep
And dusty way,
Nor always gnarvl trnna eye# from tear*
in the wide margin of thoae \ ear*
Where all tlie r.ioin for peec!i appear*
That love doth crave.
The ailent apeech of hand to haud
Alight be le* dear, in that atranga land
That had no grava.
.4•intr H. .taw*.
a rwnrsTLVOtn uuar.
"If I could forget," ha aaid, " for gat, and
Wa aea ao dull at tha time, and, looking back,
art plain ;
There a quiet that'* worse. 1 think, than
many a epoketi strife,
And i.'a wrong that on* rnklake *hould change
the whole of a Ufa.
" There* John, forever the same, ao eteady.
sober, and mild.
Ha never *u>rm* a* a man who t*vo cried as
Perhapa my way* are harsh, but if ha would
seem to care.
There'.! be fewer swallowed words and a tighter
load to bear.
" Here, Cherry ' —atie"a found me ont, the oalf
I raised in the spring,
And a likely heifer she's grown, the fooliali.
soft-eyed thing !
Just the even color 1 like, silhont a dapple or
Oh. Cherry, bend down your head, and let me
cry on your neck !
••The poor Jamb beast she la, *he never can
know nor tell.
And it seems to do me good, the very shame of
So old a woman and hard, and Joel ao obi a
But the thoughts of the old go on as the
thoughts of the young begat, 1
"If* guessing that wasice tha heart, far
worse than the rurvet fate:
If 1 knew he lad thought of me, I could
quiet'y work and wait;
And then when rither, at last, cn a bed of
death should he.
Why, one might speak the truth, and the
other hear and die !"
She leaned on the hetfet's neck; the' dry
leaves fell from the boughs.
And over the t hue grass of the meadow
strayed the oow*;
The golden d. dd r meebed the cardinal flower
by the nil;
There ems suluma hue in the air, and sun
light low on the hilh
"I've eenehow &WD try MUX," ehe Mud to
hereelf, and sighed:
" Wl.at girie are free to hope, a steady wonai:
Bat the need outstays the chance: it makce
tue cry and laugh
To lluuk that the only thing 1 can talk to now
is a calf."
A step rams down .'rem the bill; she did not
turn or rise;
There wae something in D near, tnat eaw
without the eye*.
Bhe heard the foot delay, ae doubting to etay
-1* the heifer for eale 7" he taid. She stern
ly answered: "SoT
She lifted her head aa ehe spoke; their eyca a
And her heail repeated the words: "If I
could only forget!"
He turned a little away, bat her lowered eyes
His hand, a* he picked the bark from the
trunk of * hickory tree.
" VThr can't, we be friendly. Jane ?" his word*
came strange and slow;
" 100 seem to bear me a grudge, so long, and
so long ago!
You were gay and free with the rest, but al
ways so eby of me.
That, before my freedom came, 1 saw it
"Joel!" tu all eh cried, m their glaccee
And * sadden rose effaced her pallor of sg
He picked s.t'e hickory bark : "It's a curi
ous thin. t<> esy ;
Bat I'm lorn riiioe l'heke died and the girlt
axe man.l-J away.
" That's why these thoughts come back: I'm a
little too oliTfor pride.
And I never could understand how love should
be all one side;
Twould acewer iteelf, I thought, and time
would -how me bow.
But it didn't come o then, and it doeen't reen
eo now !''
"Joel, it cams eo then !" and her voice was
thick with tears;
" A hope for a single day, and a bitter shame
lis snapped the ribboo of bark; he turned
from the hickory tree :
" Jane, look me oooe in the face, and eay that
you thought of me !"
She looked, and feebly laughed : " It's a com
fort to know the truth,
Though the cbanoe was thrown away in the
blind mistake of youth."
"And a greater comfort. Jane,' be said, with
a tender smile,
"To find the chance you Late lost, and keep
it a hide while."
She rose u be spoke the words : the petted
Her muzzie between the twain, with an ani
mal's strange mistrust:
Bat ovc-r the creature's nerk be drew her to
" A horse is never so old bat it palls with an
" It's eticugb to know," ehs said, " to remem
ber, not forget!"
"Nt, nay : for the reet of life well pay each
She bad no will to resist so kindly was she
And she sadiy said, at last ; " But what will
become of Juhn 7"
Leather at the Centennial.
The applications for space in the shoo
and leather building have reached the
number of 547, and then- are more in
anticipation. The spaces are divided as
follows: Seventy-five to boots and shoos,
118 to sole and rough leather, sixty to
harness, thirty-six to morocoo and sheep
skins, sixteen to rubber goods, twenty
three to saddlery hardware, fifty-one to
Boots and shoes 3.887
Hole leather 3,900
lioagh leather 7S
Harness, kip and calf 1,200
Morocco and sheep 1,168
Harness and saddlery 1,508
liubber goods 630
Haddlery hardware 668
Total '. 30,698
Professor Wilder, of Cornell Uni
versity, gives these short rules for action
in case of accident:
For dust in the eyes, avoid robbing ;
dmh cold water in them ; remove cin
ders, etc., with the round point of a lead
If an artery i "it, compress it above
the wound ; if a vein is cut, compress it
If choked, go upon all fours, and
For alight burns, dip the part in cold
water ; if the akin is destroyed, cover
For apoplexy, raise the head and
body ; for fainting, lay the person flat.
FRED, KXTUTZ, Kditor uiitl Proprietor.
A PAIR OF APRIL FOOLS.
Mr. Softheart had always been a ro
mantic young man, frvim the earliest
year, at which it waa possible for him
to claim the title man ; and he wua ro
mantic still, now that tlie title young
waa only accorded to him because of lua
Mr. Soft heart lxad never dceired to be
a bachelor. He admired the other sex
too much ; but, although he had i>eeu
in lore with four blonde*, three bru
nette, and five young ladies who were
neither oue nor the other, he had never
been able to pop the question point
blank, but deboatuly intimated it in
auch a war tliat hi* meaning would have
been a riddle to the Sphinx, and waa
naturally enough never aucceawful.
Now, "at forty, and growing extremely
stout, he waa aa romantic aa ever ; and,
moreover, he was desperately in love
with a new idol—a young lady who
smiled when he appeared, gave hvm
soft glances, called his bouquets "love
ly," and preeervevl them in water.
The fact is, Mr. Softheart was very
well off, and not ill looking, and that
MM Belinda had made up her mind to
accept hia hand whenever it was offered,
despite the |<erm*tcut attentions of
young Mr. Spooney, who, though by no
means ill looking, and just six and
twenty, waa only a government clerk,
and by no means aa eligible a match in
For six months Belinda Bellows had
been waiting for Mr. 8> ftheart to pro
teose, and every day more certain that
he positively intended to place his man
sion and bank account at her disposal.
But, though Mrs. Bellows was kind
euough to allow the oook to summon her
to consultations when Mr. Softheart
called, and so leave the pair alone to
gether; and although Belinda's sister.
Miss Angelina, was equally ounaiderate,
and invariably remembered that some
thing she wanted very jutrtieolarly was
np stairs, when her" mother went to
speak to the cook, poor Mr. Softheart
never could bring himself to the point
of saying : " WiU you have me I ' It
would, he argued, confuse the young
lady and himself ; and if she should mv
no, where—as the floor never opened on
such awful occasions to receive rejected
lovers—where should be hide himself I
" I'll do it by letter," he said to him
self, after long consideration. " Women,
so far, have misunderstood me. I'll do
it in black and white now—say, ' Will
von marry me I' in so many words, and
decide my fate."
And so, on the last day of March, Mr.
Softheart wrote, on pink tinted paper,
perfumed with Rimmel's scent and
edged with gold, an offer of his hand
and heart, as plainly to be understood
as a bill from one's baker; and, feeling
that he had done a safe, though coarse
thing, he enveloped, sealed it, and put
it in his pocket, before he made his
evening call on his beloved Belinda.
Now it so happened that that very
evening Belinda herself hail come to a
resolution. Her twenty-fifth birthday
was approaching, and she could not
afford to " waste time."
When Mr. Softheart reached the house
of the Bellows', he fonnd the field quite
clear. Miss Belinda had artfully lon
trived that it should be so. Th.it per
fidious young ]H<rson had actually pur
chased tickets fur a concert; requested
voung Spooney, who was half mad with
joy at the idea, to accompany Angelina
and herself; and on the evening iu ques
tion was smitten with a terrible attack
of neuralgia. Reclining in a chair, with
a lace 'kerchief held to her cheek, *ho
regretted her inability to go; but, after
all, Mr. Spooney should not have h s
trouble for nothing—mamma and An
gelina would go. She bail rather be
alone, she was so cross and nervous.
They really must go. And, knowing
very well why, the ladies acquiesced;
and what could Spooney do I As a gen
tleman, clearly nothing but regret Miss
Belinda's illness, and tie delighted with
the society of the mamma of fifty and
the sister of fifteen.
Yet a wretched man was Mr. Spoonqj
that night; and both his companions,
on their return, pronounced him "eta
Ten minutes after the departure of
the trio, Miss Belinda, arrayed in blu
silk, with flowers in her hair, was play
ing at audi a rate on the piano that it
seemed qmte certain that the demon
nenralgia must have vanished. Bhe did
not even hear Mr. Suit heart's knock,
and started in sweet confusion on bis
" I'm all alone," she said. "Mamma
and Lina won't be home nntil eleven
o'clock. I'm afraid you'll find it very
Bat Mr. Boftheart was rot afraid of
that; and the two talked top-ther in low
voices, sitting venr close to each other
on twin chairs. Sir. Softlieart looked
and sighed and uttered romantic senti
ments, but be did not pop the question.
Miss Belinda did all that a modest young
lady could to further this object, but in
Hbe did not know—how oonld she ?
that at the door Mr. Moftbeart had said
to Biddv, the housemaid: '• Look here,
girl, put this in Miss Belinda's room,
where hhe will t> sure to see it;" ami
thatlie had presented her with the billet
containing his proposal, crowned by a
five-ahilliug niece I
How should she guess that even at
that moment the offer Mr. Softheart
oonld not make in words was in her
work lsisk<tl At all events, she did
If tho man did not avail himself of
anrl) a chance, after aix months' court
ship, plain oven to the servants in the
kitchen, why ho meant nothing. And
the unhappy, unlucky Mr. Hoftheart did
not utter the expected worda, and left at
quart* r to eleven, with a quotation from
Byron and a nigh.
"He's a contemptible flirt!" aaid
Miss Belinda. " What did he mean by
squeezing my band and by sighing so,
and by saying such pretty things, and
by looking in my eyes so F Gentlemen
friends never do such things. I'll show
him my heart is npt broken. I'll marry
And Belinda went, for she was bitter
ly mortified, and Mr. Spooney did not
own a large mansion.
Belinda wept, as we have said, and
went to bed in the dark. Of course ahe
did not see the letter in her work basket,
and no one else saw it, until the first of
Now, in their normal oondition, with
no lore affair on the tapis, the Bellows'
were merry people, who indulged in
practical jokes, and April fool's day was
always regularlv kept in the family. A
new trick was always hatching the year
through, and bandies of rubbish were
sent by express, and cotton cakes made,
and door bells rung, and alarms of fire
given, and neople sent post haste to re
mote regions to fiud April fool nwaiting
them in one shape or another.
But this year, the three particular
Bellows' with whom we have to deal
were not prepared with any particular
joke, though each suspected the other.
And when Angelina, sitting np in bed
beside her sister, saw the glittering
white note in the work basket, she im
mediately made np her mind that it was
She crept softly towards it and read
the inscription—" Miss Belinda Bel
lows "—and retired to her pillow again.
" What a flat trick!" she said to her
THE CENTRE REPORTER.
aclf. •' Why. Hell wiU gutwa At on<*,
unless alio forget* that it in the first of
April. Ma's tricks are always ao auart,
it a queer she should Jo * itch a fooliali
Then a thought struck her. She
crept tiptoe out of the room and down
stairs to the parlor, where Hrtdget waa
making the fire, taking the letter with
"Biddy," she aaid, in a whiapcr,
" come up stairs and awaken my winter,
and tell her Mr. Hoftliead brought Utia
tilt* morutug. Tell it MM if it waa the
truth, remember, and there's a ahtlling
And Angelina tiptoed with iwuvfoot
aoftueea beak to bed. Hut Belinda waa
awake thus time.
" She's going to try to fool me, I
know," she aaid, to herself, with her
eyes shut and in a very cross mood, and
awaited the denouement with anything
but her usnal good nature.
Biddy, meanwhile, had recognised the
" It's a lucky one for me," she said,
to herself. " A crown over night and a
shilling in the morniug." And np
stairs ah* ]unified, and knocked at Be
" Misther Softheart bade me give you
this, miss," she said.
"I'll teach vou to tell stories," aaid
Belinda. "You know Miss Angelina
gave it to you."
Biddy was confounded.
" He" gave it to mo last night, miss,
as true as 1 hope to go to hoe veil," she
" Last night !" said Angelina, with a
warning glance, supjueiug Biddy to
have forgotten her leiutou.
" I mane this morning," said Biddy,
taking the hint.
•' Give me the letter," said Belinda;
then snatching it, she tore it deliberate
lv into four pieces and threw them on
the floor. "Do you suppose I mean to
l>e called an April fool ?" she subbed.
" You might have more eon—aid—era
tion—for—my—feelings, when he "a tri
fled so." And went offinto hysterica.
Mamma rushed in. Biddy screamed
" murtlier." Sal volatile was applied,
and, in the ooufuaion, no explanation
was made. Biddy a wept the room ami
put the letter in the dustpan. And Mr.
Softheart watched >• 11 day for the post
man, and watched in vain.
Tliat afternoou Mr. Spooney called to
inquire after Miss Belinda's health, and
found her well enough to walk out with
him ; and Angelina and her mamma be
gan to compare notes. Then, anil not
until then, the letter began to be a
mystery, and Biddy being stmt for ex
plained that, to the best of her belief,
Mr. Softheart gave it to her to pnt in
Miss Belinda's room the night before.
Then, in dismay, the ladies rummagisl
the dustbin, and", after an hour's seaich,
reappeared iu the parlor with dusty
trittw s and soiled hands and nine little
pieces of pajx?r. These, deftly pieced
together, made a whole note, w'hioh, be
iug ierusd, revealed a proposition.
Belinda returned rather late with a
very conscious look upon her face, an J
stared in ast-u ishment at the dusty ob
jiit.-, *ho met her ith excitement on
their counter anoes. It was a good
while before the truth could l>e extract
iil from the iuterjectiuus and ejacnla
turns with which she was greeted ; bqf
when, at ia.it, it was male manifest, Be
linda listened like one in a trance. She
had indeed bvu made an April fool of.
Mr. Softheart bad really proposed. The
mansion had b>s'u offered to her, the
bank stink and all that made the
bachelor a 1 eligible match ; and ahe
that very ev ning had accepted Spooney,
for whom she cared yerv little, and who
had only £l5O a year to 1 ve upon.
It WHS not complimentary to her be
trothed, but tdie went into hei second fit
of hysterics t one*'.
As for Mr. Softheart, ho never pro
posed to any one again. Fie received
the Dews of Belinda's b'tn thai with
comparative calmness, bnt made hi*
will next day in view of auicide, and left
all his fortune to a hospital. Changing
his mind, however, he live* still, and ao
I does Bidinda, on a second floor, where
die quarrels a good deal with her hn*-
Otuid, who has ceaaeil to b> at all atten
tive and wonder* vaguely what he could
iiave mi a: t by it—meaning his court
-hip and marriage.
And Mr. Softheart never sees Belin
1 da, who would be handsome *till in a
decent l>onuct; and 1 linda never see*
the old bachelor, whom uln .Really liked,
and who i* tine looking as well a* rich,
rithout a bitter ren embrance of the
tirat of April which made them and ha*
left them a pair of April fools.
How to Hang Picture*.
No picture ought to be Lnng higher
than the height of the average human
eye when the owner of the eye is stand
ing. If the picture is a portiait, or if it
has hnman fares in it, its eyes should
look lis nearly into <>nrs as j>o*sible ; and
if there be no snoh simple guide, tier
hafis a good rule will tie to hare the line
tliat divides the picture horizontally
into equal parts level with the eye. If
one sta< ts in hanging pictnr< a with the
determination to place them so that they
eau tie easily seen and enjoyed without
stretching the neck the least, or stoop
ing the body, ho will be pretty sun* In
do well. In remote farmhouses ar.' 1
country taverns we often see pictures,
particularly portraits, skyed as high as
if their owners had been academy hang
ers, and the painters young rivals of a
school. I suppose the reason is that
the simple h artd owners think a pic
ture sneh a precious thing it can't lie
hnng too m ctirely out of reach of mod
dling hands. They aro often not clear
in their minds as to what a picture is
meant for, and, not finding in it any
practical relations in human life and
society, they treat it with reverence and
put it where it will disturb them as little
as possible. Bat as the people come to
enjoy pi -tares and get some intellectual,
spiritual nourishment out of them, they
want them, as they want their books,
where they van see them and use them.
Worship In the Wilderness.
The early at ttlers of America, among
other trials, experienced great difficulty
in attending divine worship. On ac
count of the raids of the Indiana it wns
necessary that at all times the men of
the household should go armed. A
picture shows the strange scene of the
master of the household, with hia gun
on his shoulder, about entering the little
log church built in the woods. It is the
first Sunday that they have had service
in * long time, and the whole family
have come np to bear the words of trutn
from one who had periled his lifn and
sacrificed hia earthly prospects for the
good of hie fellow creatures.
A True Community.
The family should be a community.
To make it truly so there must le com
mon interest. Alas for that household
where the father's business, the mother's
social caros, and the children's s]orts
and pleasures are not shared by each
other ! Then it will not be strange if
the expenditure is out of proportion to
the income, and if the companions and
resorts of the children are evil. Happy
that home where the oar*a and joys are
so divided that the former are not op
pressive and the latter are multiplied—
where the hearts grow closer as the years
roll by, so that the separations which
must oome to every family aro only
bodily and therefore temporary!
CENTRE HALL, CENTRE CO., PA., THURSDAY, APRIL 20, 1870.
It is officially estimated that the
whole amount of gootl* placed on exhi
bitiou will exceed forty thousand tons in
The opening ceremonial on the tenth
of May will take place iu tlie space be
tween memorial hall and the main
Governor Connor, of Maine, lias ap
pointed I "reside ut Chamberlain, of
liowdoiu College, orator of that State at
The people of Kllenvilla, N. Y., pro
poee to til up ami anchor t.Aar tlie Ceil
teunial a canal boat, to be used as a
lioardiug and lodging Kstt.
The lioating men of Pittsburgh ap
JHVVT determined to be well represented
among the four-oar crews at tlie Cen
tenuis! rcgutta. Four clulm of that city
have already selected crews.
Norfolk, Virginia, has organised a
Centennial walking club, which pro
poees to start oil the first of May and
walk to the exhibition, passing over, in
its route, the principal civil war battle
field* of Virginia, Maryland and
The scene inside the main building
has much the ap|*-aranoe of a town of
respectable site, with street* laid off at
rigut angles, ami with dwelling houses,
summer pavilions, cathedral*, gloomy
prisons, Norman castles, round towers,
alhambros and wigwams iu the greatest
variety, and forming a most extraordi
nary contrast. It hsiks exactly as
though a host of architects had origi
nally liegun some Babel-like construc
tion, hut were suddenly drawn under
some mysterious influence that caused
them to erect, wilh divers tastes, those
plain, picturesque, ontione, gay, aom
tier, massive and foirylike- Ktnictures
that already place the visitor desiring to
view the interior of this building in just
the same difficulty as would be expe
rienced by a man posting himself on the
threshold of the Continental Hotel iu
order to obtain a birxlseyo view of
(lifts to those in Office.
The Galajry, in speaking of late af
fairs at Washington, says: Not very
loug ago it was uot only jM-rmitted, but
exjiected, that i-v. ry man in office should
profit not only by the salary of hia
office, but by presents given to him iu
consideration of the use of this influ
ence in favor of the giver. No suitor
went to tlio bureau of an official person
without a present in liaud, and the
firomisc of more if the influence asked
or aud exerted was effectual. These
preaenta were of money, jewels, and
other articles of luxury. Game was
given in small matters: and the poor
gave (nmltry and egg*. Old Go bo, in
the Merchant of Venice," says to
Basaauio: "I have here a dish of
doves that I would bestow upon you
worship; and my suit is," etc. We
read, too, in a grand old story, how the
head of an Eastern family, hardly yet a
tribe, wishing to propitiate the prime
minister of one of the king* of Egypt,
said to his sons who were going ln-fore
him : "Carry down the man a present,
a little balm, and a little honey, spices
and myrrh, not* and almonds.'" The
name of the prime minister was Joseph.
This custom was prevalent until witiun
a little more than a century, in govern
ments of the highest class, and among
gentlemen and noblemen of the highest
character. Huch giii* were not regarded
as bribes, as they wonl.l have been if
given to a judge. Until recently, all of-
Ueial | HIS Is were regarded as places of
profit; sn<i it was not expected that an
official person would work for nothing.
The disoovi rv of the proper law of ao
tion nnder mii-h circumstances—tliat on
official (M-rnon, as be represents the
whole nation, should be tntirrly m.in
Aucnoed by even the prosp --to' gam
is, as we hare already remarked, * result
ami a token of the moral progress of
our own time*.
lUßing Money in Mexico.
Gon. Lcberra ha* away of raising
money for carryu r ' n the war in Mexi
co that has the met .t of effectiveness to
say the least Recently the general gave
the merchants ami business men of
MnUunoras a peremptory order to m<*ot
him at his office at 4:30 o'clock. He iu
for mini them, when they met that the
object of the meeting was to raise $300,-
000 to pay his troops and place the city
in a state of defense. He offered a pre
minm of thirty per oent in etiatom
house bond*, aajmg it was a friendly
offer, and if it was not accepted he would
raise the money by force, aud not scru
ple to use severe means; that if neces
sary to seise the merchants to effect hia
object he would do so. He said he hod
the interest of his government in his
lian<lx, and he would subserve them at
all hazards. The merchants present
were then called on to subscribe to the
loan. When Senor Antouio Langoris
wits railed be said he was unable to sub
scribe. He was immediately confined
in the artillery quarters. He can be re
leased by subscribing 810,000. Ten
thousand dollars was demanded from
the boose of Don Franciscw Armedias.
The manager of the firm was an Ameri
can citizen, and was in New Orleans.
Over $17,000 was subscribed. This sum
falls short $57,000 of what is needed
now. Gorv. Ijelstrrn says he will call for
the balance in fifteen days or so In ad
dition to this forced loan, the Mexican
government has levied a tax of one per
cent, upon capital, property, etc. The
American merchants have snl>scril>ed to
the loan, but, in view of the ulterior
measures on the part of Oen. Lei arra,
they have applied to the United States
consul for protection.
A Smart Child.
" Jack," screamed a bright eyed,
golden hairod, fair faced iittlo girl of not
more than six summers, to her younger ,
brother, who had damped himself under
the wall, where ho wan digging Band
with a atrip of ahingle, " Jack, yon
good-for-nothing little scamp,you arethe
torment of my life? Coron right into
the honae, thia minute, or I'll take the
very hide off"m von ! Come in, I nay !"
" Why, Totty," exclaimed her father,
who chanced to oome op at that moment,
" what in the world are yoa aaying ? la
that the way yon talk to yonr little
brother?" "Ob, no, papa,' answered
the child, promptly, and with an inno
cent amile. "We were playing keep
boase, and I am Jack's mamma, and I
was talking to him just an mamma talked
to me this morning. I never really
spank him, as mamma does mo some
Life In (Ire at Cities,
The relative healtlifnlneaa of some of
the great cities is shown in the following
table, which exhibits the annual mor
tality for 1,000 inhabitants:
Madrid ...65 0
Rome 211 3
New York 27 9
Turin 24 8
Brussels t .H
The above estimate for Madrid is from
a recent compilation given in a journal
[in that city. The capital of Spain
is thus made to rank as one of the most
' unhealthy places in the world.
HAItKAHNIMI A GOVERNMENT.
Ilw lk Orlll.h K>o lo* lit
arm •( Nsissa* aad ibeu tbaard lllaa.
Readers are already aware that a Brit
inll man-of war recently seiaed and sold
the Samoau navy, including its huwitaer,
it* (Hiker decii, it* bottles of whisky,
and oilier government ntures, under the
pretext that a cannibal navy had no right
to fir the American flag. The sou are
of the Hamoau navy wo* made in accord
ance with the advice of the foreign con
sul* resident at Apia. The Hamoan gov
ernment, a* every *ue knows, consists
exclusively of Mr. Hteinberger. On
hearing the news, the government in
stantly ran down to the seashore, and
}>erociving that the dock of the uavy was
crowded with sii ltritinh marines, reoog-
Uixed the hopelessness of attempting to
rt (Hisaees himself uf the public property
by forts*. Being an experienced amWar
sighted government, he immediately
foresaw Uat an attach might at any mo
ment lie made npou the national arsenal
at Muhinu l'oint, and lie therefore
crammed the anus and ordnance stores
of the Hamoan army into his waistclolh
and conveyed them to a fort in the in
terior of the island. The next day the
British commander, who had sent an
overwhelming force of two powder
monkeys to sack the arsenal, found that
he was too late, and he therefore set out,
with two or three of liis officers, to
storm the Hamoan fort to which the
artns and stores had been conveyed. He
reached the fort, but wus refused admit
tauce. There can lie bnt little doubt
that this refusal was thoroughly justified
by military law. When a hostik naval
force inarches to a fort, knocks loudly at
the front door, announces-that it ha*
come in order to rapture the place, and
demands to know, with much nnneocs
aary profanity, why some one dot* not
come down and u|ieu the door, it is
plainly the duty of the garrison to men
tion politely, and out of the secoud
storv front window, that they must
really decline to receive any visitor*.
The Knglisli captain, however, did not
take this view of the matter. He de
cided that he had been personally in
sulted, and on his return to his ship he
sant the Hamoau government a note for
mally requesting that due notice should
be taken of the fact that he was iu a
The next scene in this eTentful drama
was the examination of the Hamoau gov
ernment before the British captain and
the assembled consuls. There is ao
doubt that the gallant captain hail iu
former years s* rved uu the coast of
Africa, and that the experience thus ob
tallied directed hli method of treating
the Hamoau govi rument. Having been
accustomed, on boarding a suspected
slaver, to demand a right of her psjiera,
he naturally felt that the first thing to
do, after boarding the Hamoau lalamla,
was to ask somebody to instantly exhibit
some sort of iiapers. The Hamoan gov
ernment firmly refused to accede to this
demand, and as there is not the le a*l
reason to suppoae that be poaaesaed any
papers whatever, except an odd uumtier
of an American illustrated pa(M>r con
taining a (Hirtrait and biographical
sketch of Mr. Hteinbergcr, such refusal
was uuduubtcdly wise and dignified.
Failing to moke the government pro
duce its imaginary register, manifest,
and custom bourn* clearance, the British
captain and hia consular advisers re
lieved their minds by vaguely threaten
ing dreadful things. The unhappy Ha
moan government was told that " he had
bettor lie corefuL" The American c.-n
sul darkly promised that '*hc would
let him know," and the British tartain,
harassed by the conviction that all the
precedents of the slave trade required
him to put a prise crew on board the
Harmon lalomls, with order* to execute
the physically imposoible feat of takiug
the islands into the nearest British
port, there to be tried and condemned
by a court of admiralty, glared solemnly
at the government, and from time to
tune recited to him brief and uneompli
incntary acrans of biographiaal informs
tion concerning the government's al
leged ancestor*, and certain obscure ilia
roses of the eyes and heart which be
was destined to contract at no distant
day. Finally, the examination come to
an'end, and the government returned to
hia palace, while his enemies remained
in consultation to devise uew plans for
The end of the whole matter was tliat
the cousula published a proclamation
forbidding all foreiguer* to recognize or
oliey the Hamoan government; the Brit
ish captain sent for another frignU-, with
the vague impression that by trie help of
strong reinforcement* ho might yet suc
ceed in making sonn lsxly show their
: pajieni; tne resident mioionsriea under
took to indnee the Hnnioana to ask for
Mr. Hteinberger'* resignation, and that
harass® 1 government opened a now box
of stroug cigar*, and nmler tlieir calm
ing influence asked hiuiscif whether
Christ in ity and trow*eis aud a quiet
life were i *t really more to be desired
than the gi.>rv and vexation of playing
at royalty with missionaries who do uot
understand the game, and with British
captains aud miscellaneous consuls who
refnse to play fairly, and who openly
mock at a make believe monarchArte
j York Time*.
A Fire In Tamos.
Tarsus, the nstive city of the apostle
Paul, was, on the night of the twentieth
of January, the soene of a great fire,
which reduced the bazaar to rnina, and
effected damage to the <<atimated extent
of £150,000. For a city which tinder
the Romans was as renowned for its cul
ture as for its commerce, the existing
fire brigade arrangements seem hardly
to be up to the mark. The fire broke
out in a closed shop, the proprietor of
which had been absent some days. The
shop contained a quantity of Incifer
matches, and also a number of rats; the
latter, it is supposed, took to gnawing
the former, and henoe the conflagra
Unfortunately Tarsna, although it
contains about twenty thousand inhabit
ants, ia at this season of the year with
out any supply of water. There was an
old fonutain in the middle of the ba
zaar, but it has lxjen dry for some time,
and, as there was a strong breeze blow
ing, the flre spread rapidly without any
effort being mado to extiugnish it After
some little time the governor appeared
on the scene, accompanied by the police
force and one small flre engine. With
praiseworthy energy ho at once dis
patched two horses to bring some water,
and, two loads of this article having
been obtained, tho small engine was set
to work. The governor, however, sud
denly took it into bis heed that lus flist
duty was to protect a powder magazine,
situated in an isolated spot at some dis
tance from the town, and ho therefore
hnrried off to the magazine, taking the
poiioo with him.
With no water, no governor, and no
poiioo, of course the flre was master of
tho sitnation; and so were the thieves
who abound iu Tarsus, and who reaped
a rich harvest by carrying off the goods
which wore dragged out of the shops for
safety as the flre extended. The town
was, in fact, given over to pillage, and
but for a sadden change in the wind the
larger portion of it would no doubt have
tocn destroyed. By pulling down some
wooden sunshades the progress of the
flames was at last arrested, and, happily,
no lives were lost, bat one man iu bis
fright threw himself into n well and met
what onght to have been a watery grave.
The I'nlM Mtatce Mill Contractor*.
There is, says a Waahiugton diapatch,
one |HH a uliarity noticeable about the wit
unaaea wbu appear before tin- post uffloe
committee uf the House ill relation to
the fraud* in the mail service now W
lug investigated llud ia uot uotior-üble
iu the witnesses appearing before the
several other investigations uot iu pro
green. All these mail contractors and
their attendant* are good looking, well
dreaaed, umart fellow*, evidently well
pooled in their buaiueaa, and well
•' fixed " for money. Hut ao tar they
liave failed to know anything uf import
auoe to the committee. They have ex
ooediagly retentive memoiiea about
everything except their own business,
but when that ia inquired into they
know nothing, are even unable, althougL
carrying on immense operation*, to give
their reocipta and expenditure*. One
of the moat curious and iutereating of
theae witnesses was before the commit
tee and gave a long account of hia trans
action* with the post-offlos department
Ilia name ia 8. 8. Huntley, a young fel
low evidently not mnch |>aat thirty
year* of age, who haa the aim ufa mil
liouaire. lie awore that he waa one of
the firm of H. 8. Huntley A Co., mail
contractors, and also of Barlow, Header
aon A Go. He had gone to Montana in
1867 a poor boy. After being there a
abort time they bought a amall route of
the agent with whom they became ac
quaint* d, on credit and by aorne mean*
succeeded in paying for the stock on the
entire route iu four year*. From that
time they had gone upward and onward
and were now o|x*ratiug in their own
name* several hundred thouaaud dollars'
worth of contracts, and in hia settle
ment last year with Barlow, Haudaraon
A Go. hia share waa $425,0U0. lie told
the committee bow the contract for the
route from Reding, Gal., to llooeburg,
Oregon, waa let tc oucGoddred for $24,-
000 in 1874, and Goddral aarried the
mail with hia stock and then failed. By
agreement, and by buying off intermedi
ate bidders, be got and still holds the
contract at $75,000. He denied ever
having bribed or given presents to any
official uf the (Mist-office departuietit, al
though he was intimately acquainted
with nearly all of them, and troubled
them very frequently on business. He
knew nothing whatever of any attempts
by hia firm to do anything but a legiti
mate business. In fact, he knew very
little, if his story vw accepted, abont
the immense business that he wus con
Truth Stranger than Fiction.
The Ashville (N. C.) Pioneer asys.
A number of men met at a house on
North Tow river, Mitchell county, for
the purpose of a general spree. As
usual in such cases, a quarrel ensued,
and in a fight between a young man
named Davis and a drunken eom;>anion
named Tooley, the former was slabbed
in the abdomen, and portions of his en
trails protruded from the wound. In
this condition he was placed iu a blanket,
a pole run through a loop in the same,
and the ends shouldered by two men,
who attempted to carry him where he
oould get surgical aid. The path led
along the aide of a rugged mountain,
s-id they had borne him some distance
* lieu tin' knot through which the (Mile
ran loosened, and the wounded man was
thrown down the mountain, his intes
tines catching on bushes and winding
around him as he rolled down its
precipitous side. He was alive when
picked up, and his friends carried him
to a house in the neighborhood. We
are informed thai an old midwife was
culled in to attend him. She pushed
hock the entrails and sewed up the
< tifleo with (isckthrxaiL Later in the
d.y a Dr. Dagger arrived, who gave it
as hia opinion tliat the ojiorati<>n had uot
b-en properly done—that Davis'
•' jianneh" was not in the proper posi
t.'in, and tliat some of the minor entrails
w.-re miwung. This he ascertained by
giving the patient several hearty shakes;
lie said "the sound was too hollow."
At this order the man was again ripped
o(ien, while parties were sent in starch
Of the missing entrails. Tin y found
sen rnl of thtae indispensable* to the
progress of digestion, and burryiiir Iwck
to tne house, banded them to tin* M. D.
As they were very dirty, he rinsed them
in cold water, sprinkled a little silt over
them as a preservative, and then put
them in the patient. The wound was
rem wed, and when our informant left it
was thought that Davis would recover.
If he doc*, a life insurance policy would
be the greatest extravagance he oonld
A Novel (Jun Carriage.
A laughable adventure is said to have
befallen a certain committee, just before
the e mmeneement of the Abyssinian
expedition, who, in the exercise of their
dnties, viuted Woolwich to ins]ect a
new kind of mountain howitzer. It wms
proposed to Arc the gnus off the liacks
of tue mules that carried them, by which
plan it waM thought a great saving of
time might be effected. A donkey was
accordingly procured for the experi
ment, and a light gun strapped firmly to
a cradle resting on the pack saddle, so
that the ranzzle of the weapon pointed
ovrr the donkey's tail. The gun was
loaded, the donkey turned with his tail
to an embankment, and the usual prepa
ration made for firing by means of a lan
yard and friction tulie. At this juncture
one of the oommittee suggested that this
mode of firing might derange the aim,
by the jerk of polling the lanyard, and
it was arranged to fire the guu by 'a
piece of slowmatch tied to the vent
This was done, and the match duly ig
nited, Hitherto the doukev had taken
rather a sleepy interest in the proceed
ings, bnt the fizzing of the match on his
back caused him to first prick up his
ears, and finally to turn round, in a con
tinued effort to see what was going on
behind him. The members of the com
mittee were utterly dismayed by this un
expected conduct. In vain they at
tempted to dodge the impending dsn
Sor; which ever way thejr ran, the
oukey was sure to head off in a new di
rection. The noble chairman, who was
too oorpnlent to run, flung himself on
the ground, and calmly awaited his fate.
It was an agonizing moment; then—
bang!—the shot went harmlessly rioo
chetting away in one direction, while
the unhappy donkey turned n complete
somersault in the other. The subse
quent report of the oommittee was not
favorable to the new method of firing
About Cabbage Seed.
The case of Richard Van Wyek against
Richard H. Allen and others was argued
before the general term of the ooiurt of
common pleas. The appeal was by the
defendants from a judgment for t2,000
had against them in the court below.
The plaintiff, who is a market gardener,
purchased from the defendants one and
ono-half jniunds of what were represent
ed to lie seeds of the Van Sielen early
flat Dntcli cablmge. After planting he
found that tho plants never noaded and
were of no use. The main question in
the case is as to whether, without any
express warranty and ou a more repre
sentation which they supposed to bo
true, the defendants can be held liable
for the damages arising directly from the
use of the seed. The jury in the trial
term of the court answered the question
in the affirmative by giving judgment
for the plaintiff. Decision was reserved
by tho general term.— Nno York Time*.
TERMS: a Yoar, in A.dvane.
** The BOJI."
Are wa " tlia boys " that uaad to mat a
Tba tables ring witli tnM*> folllea 7
Whose .U.p lui.g d laughter oft would abaka
Tba oelln.g witb its thunder volleys t
Are wa tba youth# sub lips unshorn.
At beauty's feat uuwnnkied atutora,
Wbuee memories reach tradition* morn—
The (lays of prehistoric tutors 7
" Th* boya "wa know—bat who are tbsaa
Wbuee beada might aerre for I'lutarab'a
Or Foi e martyr*, if yoa please.
Or harmite of the dismal ages f
'• Tba boya " wa knew—out tbaa* be Uioaa 7
Their cheeks with aaaming * hi ash were
Where are the Harrys, Jims and Joes
With whom • oboa were wall acquainted "t
If wa are they, we're not the urn* ;
If (hey are we, why than they're masking,
Do tall us, neighbor What e-yoor-name,
Who are yoa t What s the use of asking 7
Yoa once were Oeurge. or Bill, or Ben ;
There s yoa. yourself - (here's yoa, that
I know you now—l knew yoa then—
Yoa a*ed to bo your younger brother I
(Mmr WmdeU Uokm**.
THE TWIN PORTRAITS.
A rifling irlui ! Ho Gilbert Lsiwaon
u called, but only bj a small circle of
his especial friend. Otherwise be wan
entirely unknown to fame. But be wan
bopefnl. Onoe be saw an eagle leave it*
unit, and aoar up bigb toward* tlie auu,
while ita unfeatbered young fluttered,
but remained I whind unable to follow,
lie felt that it waa much the name with
bimaelf—that straggle* would strength
en bia piuiona, and lie would in time be
able to aaoeud the great ladder of fame.
And so be toiled unceasingly.
For aome montbabe bad been engaged
upon a portrait, lie bad found bia
model in a young girl, perhapa twelve
years of age. He bad flint aeeu her in •
the street#, and she waa a beggar, or the
next thiug to it—abewaa a street singer.
When her voioe first fell upon bia ears
it thrilled him, for it waa wildly beauti
fill. He knew that voioe trembled. He
saw her hand aa it was extended to re
ceive the pitiful coin dropped into it,
and be observed that Uiia trembled
also, and that it waa very tiny and dch
uate. Then lie looked npon her face.
Her eye* were of heavenly blue, but
wore a sad expression and were down
rtutt. Her gulden bair fell in tangled
masses over her shoulders —indeed, abe
was lieautiful, although no one but the
voung and enthusiastic painter had as
Vet especially noticed that Lenity.
When he explained to bar bia wish, her
face became radiant with pleasure,
which lent it an additional charm.
The picture waa completed and the
artist sat gwung on it- He oould soar-e
iy decide in bia own mind which be
loved the beet—the original or the aem
hlanor. But, dropping a curtain before
the work, be aroar, and walked to the
window, rising into the street. A sigh
escaped him, and an atiaorbed were bia
tbougbU that he did not obarrve the en
trance of a second party until a baud
waa places) on his shoulder, :.n.l a voioe
•wad : "Gilbert, 1 have called to see
you. work, as 1 promised you."
The artist blushed and even trembled,
and aa be lifted the covering, r. marked :
" Mr. Byrd, my fate dmeada upon a
few word* which you will speak now. I
have thrown my whole soul into this |
picture, and I am everything or noth
ing. You are an old painter—speak
candidly—tell me jast wlint you think."
It vii some momenta More the young
man raised hi* eyca, and then only when
attracted by the long continued silence
of bia friend. When he did so he saw
that Mr. Byrd waa pale as death, had
sunk into a chair and that he trembled
violently. He sprung to hia side with a
cup of water, ana when the old man had
partially reoorerrsl, he asked : " What,
in the name of Heaven, is the matter
with yon, my friend t"
••When- is your model I—who ifl your
model t" gasped Byrd.
All waa explained, and theu the old
man continued :
"Take your painting; come with me
to my house.
Gilbert followed hia old friend, and
he entered s superb mansion in due
time, and wan theu taken direct to the
studio. 11 is own picture was placed be
side another, and it waa the young man's !
turn to start in surprise, for here waa
two portrait* exactly alike with the ex
ception of the dress.
Mr. Byrd now said: "Be seated,
Gilbert, and I will tell yon a secret
which has never been breathed to mortal
man before. Twenty years ago I jaunted
the likeness of my only daughter, and
the picture that you see before you.
She was then tan yearn of age ; she is
now thirty, aad still with m."
"May not this be her child—this
model of mine ?"
" Listen. At the age of nineteen my
daughter did as many a good girl has
done before her—ahc married, without
my knowledge, one who was to me an
entire stranger, and nearly ao to her.
That husband proved to lie a villain, for,
in two years after, he forsook her. More
ihmn this—he took with him a .laughter
by the name of Gracie. The blow nearly
killed the mother and even time baa
never healed the wound. I have made
every effort to trace out the man, and
recover onr darling, but in vain. I
f lined sneh information, however, that
was satisfied he bad died miserable in
a distant town, and we have given little
j Gracie op as lost forever. Now yon can
acoonnt for or agitation when 1 first
saw vonr jaunting, can you not?"
"I can divine yonr thoughts."
"What is the name of your model!"
" I only know her as Katie, the street
" You know where she can be found ?
" Ijet us go for her at onee."
In two hours after, the little beggar
entered ibe splendid saloon of the Byrd
mansion. She was bewildered, for she had
never gaxed uj>on so much elegance l>e
fore, except as she had seen it from the
streets tlirough the closely curtained
windows. Her confidence was soon re
stored, however, by the kind treatment
she received, aud tnen she was conduct
ed to the study.
Aa ner eye* fell upon the pictures,
she stood motionless for s time, and
theu said: "Why, you have painted
two pictures of me, instead of one, Mr.
•• Yes—would you not like a copy ?"
"Oh, so muchl" she answered, her
eyes becoming brilliant in anticipation.
" You shall nave one of them. Which
do you prefer ?"
" This, I feel as if I oould love it I"
and the young creature knelt before the
mother, while tears fillet! her eyes.
This was too much for the grand
father. He sunk into a seat, and cov
ered his faoe with his fingers.
" What is your name I" asked Gil
"Katie Courtney. I thought you
knew that before."
"Courtney was his name," groaned
the old man.
"Do yon remember your parents?"
again asked Gilbert.
" Only my father. Ho was not very
kind t-o me, and died in Plymouth sev
eral years ago."
" Aud you have been singing for your
bread ever since ?"
" Well, if yon are to hare the picture,
I want yon to sing tne a song now. You
will do so, will you not t"
"Oh, yes, willingly."
Bbe I'gn one of her wild strains, and
the dwelling waa filled with melody.
Thia had not long continued before
the door of the study was opened, and a
lady entered the room, one was pale,
una ntaggered as if suffering fn ia great
weakness. Hbe clutched tli* leek of a
■■hair for support and then asked, in a
faint voice: " Who is this ringer f"
To here answered in words would
bare been useless, however, for tier eves
had fallen upon the face of the child :
and, with a doll shriek, the mother fell
fainting upon the floor.
In an instant, Katie, or Grade, as waa
her real name, waa by her side. As she
gaaed upon the marble face, aha ex
claimed : " Ob, this is the other pic
"Can yon imagine who it ist"
" Not my mother i Oh, tell me, ie it
my mother t"
"liia." . I
Joy never kills. The orphan child at
thia moment gave rent to her feelings in
aoba, carcases, and words of endearment;
and it was not long before the mother
wae fully oooactous of her great happi
Those twin portraits had been the
means of nutting those loved ones, who
had been eo long and cruelly separated.
A Domestic Sorrow.
Hare is a eharaetariatie conversation
which oocurred some time sine* !*•( ween
acu rtain Mrs. Bmith mod a Mm. Jonea.
The Li unban da of both belong to the
Blank dab, and upon a certain occasion
the two wivw met and talked over their
grievances. Said Mr*. Jane* : ** My
dear, do yon know that I am unhappy'
•• No, "dear, I had not the remuteat
idea of anything of that kind. Yon are
living in ueh luxury and ease that I
supposed you to be the happiest of
" Ob, no, I never think of that far I
am too, too unhappy."
" What makaa yon ao unhappy f"
•• Oh, never mind, dear; it ikx* not
oonoern any one in the world bat my
self ; bat lam dreadfully unhappy. I
suppose 1 am the moat unhappy person
" Do tell me what it ia t"
" Well, my dear, if you will know, it
is this: My husband goes oat and stay*
all night long at the dab, and playa
cards. Ain't that dreadful t"
Mr*. Smith gasad at Mm. Jones very
calmly and placidly and pityingly, and
then remarked: '* My dear Mrs. Janes,
I was absolutely frightened—l was
alarmed. I shuddered for fear yoa were
about to relate some terrible myatery.
You are not half as unhappy as 1 am. I
am the most unhappy, miserable woman
that ever lived."
•' What : M said Mm Jonm, "yoa un
happy, and ao mnch admired and caress
ed bv society I"
" Vee ; the mast heart-broken woman
yoa ever knew."
•' What can be the caose of this I"
•' Well, I'll tell yoa, my dear. lon
see my husttand goes oat and stay* all
night, and—well, he stays all night and
tries to play cards but can't. Those
other fellows beat him every night."
George Fraud* Trail's Assets.
George Francis Train was examined
in the New York marine oourt under
what were called supplementary pro
seeding*, as to the prep.-rty his credi
tors ouuld n-Hch. In his examination
he said : "I reside at No. 61 Lexing
ton avenue; I have a wife and three
children ; I am in no business at present;
I have realised large piofita on or lec
tures throughout the country u Frem
dintial candidate, and expend in chari
ties and promoting my welfare as a can
didate large amounts; I have not lec
tured for the last five year* ; have no
personal property, exoept my clothes
ami watch, which is worth #IOO ; I have
no jewelry ; I jy #lO per week for my
board ; have no income ; my wife has
an income in her own right ; fifteen
Tears ago 1 settled on my wife #IOO,OOO,
being eominisaions made by me far
negotiating the original bonds and pur
chasing the iron for the Atlantic and
Great Western railroad company; my
wife now nays my board ; I have assets;
they consist of claims cjrinst corpora
tions." His assets, be stated, consisted
,of royalty on 2,000 miles of railway at
#2,500 per mile, build in Birkerbead,
Darlington, and elsewhere, England,
etc., in 1860, #5.000,000 ; a claimagainat
the British government, #1,000,000 ; a
claim against John Mctlenry for nego
tiating the bonds of the Atlantic and
Gnwt Western railroad, and other claims,
amounting t0#20,000,000. His real estate
besets down in Omaha, Chicago, Council
Bluffs, and Columbua, at about #13,-
000.000, but be has no faith in real
Impeachments by the raited States
There have been ouly six impeach
ment trials before the United States
Senate, and but two persons were ever
convicted. The flret case was that of
Senator Blount, charged with treason in
1718, bat there was no trial, the juris
diction of the Senate being denied on
the ground that a senator was not an
officer of the United States. Judge
Pickering, of New Hampshire, wae
found gmlty of drunkenness in 1808,
and removed. Judge Humphreys, of
Tennessee, was impeached for treason
early in the war and convicted. The
most celebrated trial, down to President
Johnson's, was that of Judge Samuel
Chase, of Maryland, who was impeached
in 1804, for political partisanship in the
trials of Fries and Oallender for libel,
five years before. Chase was a Federalist
and these men were virulent Democrats
st a time when the press was vastly
more bitter than it is now. The trial
was the great event of the day, but re
sulted in acquittal. Chase was one of
the signers of the Declaration and a
great spirit. Having onoe ordered a
sheriff to summon a yoac and take eome
rioters to jail, he was timidly answered
that no one would respond. " Summon
me, then, and I'll take 'cm," thundered
the judge. Aaron Burr's trial, one of
the few famous American State trials,
was after the expiration of his term of
Vioe President, and before a jury on an
indictment for high treason, of which he
was acquitted. .
A Fatal Mistake.
A man mar drink moderately bnt
steadily all his life, with no apparent
harm to himself, bnt his daughters be
come nervous wrecks, his sons epileptics,
libertines or drunkards, the hereditary
tendency to crime having its pathology
and unvaried laws, precisely as scrofula,
consumption, or any other purely physi
cal disease. These are stale truths to
medical men, but the majority of parents,
even those of average intelligence, are
either ignorant or wickedly regardless
of them. There will be a ehanoe of rid
ding our jails and almshouses of half
their tenants when our people are
brought to treat drunkenness as a dis
ease of the stomach and the blood as
well as of the soul, to meet it with com
mon sense and a physician, as well as
with threats of eternal damnation, and
to remove gin shops and gin sellers lor
the same reason that they would stag
nant ponds or unclean sewers.
Item* of Interest.
A person who has seen tremble ought
A iodiekm* nuraa to worth a mnoh in
the nick chamber M aakillfal 'phycian.
dream ootaed ohip hate, trimmed
with strawberries, are in the faahiouabte
The author of the saying, " Tern mat
always take a man * you And him, was
A New Jeiaey woman l*ps
feet oat of bed, eo that the cold air
may awaken her if a burglar opens the
tttatistics how that the average hoc
in the United Htatea laet year
321 pounds. Thia year he weigh* 208
There ia a Scotchman in Hartford who
nan apeak fourteen languages. and he
gets hia tiring by performing on mnaioal
Query for naturalists : If a ofrd in
the hand ia worth two in the bush, ia a
mole in the face worth two in the
It ia not to any man's credit, particu
larly, to be the eon of an honored father.
The credit ilea in pro ring worthy of the
The along the ooaat of Maine
are to be aold at pnblie anction. Par
chasers will not be required to take them
A sign of spring—A woman with her
drees turned up, a brush in her hand,
.wiewhief in her ere, and splotches, of
The Kentucky Legislature baa passed
a bill taxing all dogs orer three years of
age f2 each. Dogs refusing to giro
their ages will be dealt with sommanly.
Never nunc a child or a town after a
until lie has been dead a century or
no. The people of Belknap, lowa, are
wanting to change the cognomen of
A witty prelate was askedif be did
not think that soch a one followed hia
oooacieoca. " Yes," mid hie grace, " I
think be follows it>a a man does a bone
rnja gig—he drive* it fieri."
A convicted murderer in Nebrmaka ia
likely to get a new trial, because, after
the cam had gone to triaL ana of the
juroca offered to bet two doilara that the
pneooer would be oonvieted.
Laet year the following nations sent
the United States contribution* of ti
noi ia the order of aumerieal import
ance: Germany, England, Ireland,
Canada, China, rrmaoe, Boast*.
Before tearing a akeptngsparttueul in
the morning, aaya i>Tw. W. llall,
throw each article of bed oorenng orer
the back ot a chair, or the foot board,
and hoist the window, if the weather ia
An exchange prints specimens of Walt
Whitman's forthcoming book on poetry.
It is like all hia other poetry
—don't rhyme worth a oent—unless you
would aall " purple" and "amokertack "
a good rhyme.
California wheat in the straw six feet
in length, com ten or twelve feet, and
several species of oactns thirty feet in
height, will be sent to the Centennial.
Mustard stalks eighteen feet high will
not be exhibited.
" Minnie has been to see me to dar,"
said a little fire-year-old, " and she be
haved like a little lady." " I hope you
did. too," said her mother. " Yea, in
deed. I did: I turned aomeraaults for
her on my bed.**
Emerson advisee unknown poets to
publish their verses, if they most fc-e
their work in print, in the poet's corner
of the county newspaper. The county
newspaper will hare something to say
about that, Mr. E.
A foot of water astUed in a cellar, ai d
in the evening when the man of the
hotwe went down in the dark after a pen
of apples, without his books on, be said
thing" which we would not prist for
A horse balked and resisted all efforts
to more him until an insurance agent
came along and began to talk tc htm,
when be started and went off with the
anthuriasni at a man est his way to the
funeral of a rich aunt
An old Hootch lady gave ft painted re
ply to minuter wLo Imcv he had of
fended her, end expressed surprise thai
the should oome to regularly to hear him
preach. She said: "My quarrels wi'
you, man. It's not wi" U* gospeL "
At the eighteenth annual meeting oi
the grand lodge of Good Templars of
M u held it Worcester. ft
membership of 13,139 in 139 lodge* waft
reported, being • k* during the year
i of 1,838 members and eleven lodges.
Wishing to pay his friend s compli
ment, a gentlemen remarked : " 1 hear
you have a very industrious wi'e."
" Yea,"* replied the friend, with a melan
choly smile, " she's never idle. She's
always finding something for me to do."
Of the two hundred and nineteen mil
lions of dollars of gold and silver annu
ally produced, nine-tenths are exported
to the East to pay for tea, coffee, sugar,
apioes, silk, fan, dywstaffs and other
Oriental products; consumed by Europe
Hugo Arnot, one day, while panting
with asthma, was almost deafened by
the noise of a brawling fellow who was
nailing oysters below his window. "Tho
extravagant raeoal," said Hugo,;"he>w
wasted as much breath as would have
served me for a month ?"
Some of our merchants are reported
as yiatieg a specialty of a line of oaii
ooce which are remarkably cheap. That's
where they make a mistake. If they
were only a little higher priced than
anything else evenr lady in the land
would want some of them.
A loaferish young Californian married
a servant girl, andafter a day or two de
nerted he*. Three months of diasipa
tion in Franoisoo killed him; but
before his death his mother died, leaving
to him, as bar only heir, about #150,000.
Thus the girl gets a fortune.
Brealhsa there a man wtth soul so dead.
Who never to himself hath aaid,
I will a family paper take.
Belli for my own and children's cake 7
If eoofa there be let him repent
And have this paper to him sent.
" Elixa," —'d a clergyman to one of
his parishioner*, whom he saw with her
heir in curling papers, *' if God had de
signed your hair to curl He would have
curled it for you." "He did, sir, when
I was a childl" was the reply; "but He
thinks now I am old enough to do it
An Englishman has analysed the
causes of railroad accidents, and comes
to the conclusion that human machinery
is responsible for forty-one per cent, of
them ; defective signals for twenty
eight per cent ; defective roadway for
eighteen per cent ; and defective roll
ing stock for thirteen per oent
A fellow was doubting whether or not
he should volunteer to fight. Ono of
the flags waving before his eyes, bearing
the inscription: "Victory or death,"
somewhat troubled and diaooursged him.
"Victory is a good thing," said he,
" but why put it victory or death I Just
St it victory or crippled, and I'll go for
He groaned in his sleep, and his wife
aroee to light the lamp. He beheld a
display of striped stockings, and then
murmured to himself: "I've got "em
sure this time." "Got what!" she in-
? aired. "Got the delirium tremens,
'm seeing animals of all kinds. I've
jnst seen a zebra." She turned down
the light, and the menagerie was closed.
Emily Faithful says: We like unlady
like girls. We dislike to hear a chit of
ten or eleven praised for being " such a
ladylike little girL" We would far
rather hear the complaint, " Mary is bo
boisterous; she never comes down the
stairs, but always down the banisters;
she tears about like a mad thing anil is
never so happy as when she is after
some lark, as she calls it!"
The statement is made by the presi
dent of a life insurance oom pany that it
is a fact that women live loDger in the
United States than in any other country.
They are less robust and muscular than
the women of other nations, but their
tenacity of life is strong, and their con
stitutions are sufficiently enduring to
keep them alive considerably longer
than their appearances, as a genera!
thing, would warrant.