ill 1 AilvcrtiKinTJnteH. The Unread reltatd. rlreolatlnn of the IU1-. bkia raKKVAa niinrii4i it to tb. tavorahl" coa.i.lr rllu of art vert I.er whoa. Iirun will txi iDnerunl at the following low ruw : I Inch, 3 Miuea .....t IM llDfb,3 month.. W.MJ 1 I beta, 8 mouth. 8.M I lord I year... . 1 iDchen e tuoiiilm..... ..... t Itirlien, I year ln.uO lnrle. month .. h.oo Inchea. I year It.u yA Miiouio, 6 month.... ...... 10 10 ooluniu. tnontti...... W W eolaino. I year -".00 ; column, t uiontbi 4i.ou I column, year.......... 7 0 Kailne.t ttetu., firt insertion. 10c. er l!u tntHMMjuent tnwruotia. 60. er lise Ait luiDmtmtor ao2 . Lxrcuior'. Notice. . Ti M Auditor' Notice 2.M try and .Imllar Nonce. '2 00 AaLeanluiioim ur ror ciIhikh ol any eorM rw tton or ociety and comBiuni'-ation deriynrd to rail attention to any matter ol limited or indl ridual itiierert mum le .ald I r ar advertiFiueni. liook and J ol frintln of all kind neatly and eieHouriy executed at the lowest iricc. And don'tyou loricet II. is ralil fajlie.1 Wrrklj' nt .1 MU "lti, 4'AMIiHIA .. I'K.A., m! ceil I'ireulatl" 1,-Vtt Sn li rl I tn ltmox v. 1 a . i-ii i:i ntv.ii .-e Tt 'r'' i: iiui j.iu.t . (. Kin tnt-iulu. 1 ."i tin i . ru ' it nl w t : !' i ti ; ti;i".it h.-. J eu il.i II iij t, i 1 wi'lnti tiu iir . 'i '. , .., r -i-.n r'M!i-.:u int.-lil tho "! ..i.'.u i-in.il i.er jear will i-o ihamej to ; .i , c. ,1 r.-iit will ti! .it'"'e term" he le r ui. mill Ui..r. tm '" I ooufiull ItiPtr r -'. - ;o -hk n. lone-t- must nut ex i t i ; u ;i i --. 'n i'iinv it t nose w ho :: ..- i.i. t t.o iii-tni-'tly uu'tor.-toixl trou. JAS. C. HASSON. Editor and Proprietor. 'BE IS A FREEMAN WHOM THE TRCTH MAKES FREE AND ALL ARE SLAVES BESIDE." 81. 50 and postage per year In advance. . -r v(ttir luo-tr tclfr- you t'rt It. If ro j I. ' " VOLUME XXVII. EBENSBURG. PA., FRIDAY, DECEMBER 15. 1S93. NUMBER 49. tiii t'ut sc.uu vlk lulitir Is. i on lite i te.t. slvirt. I il 1 111 ) in ,xn M W t id m m mm 'o oiLS! oils!! Tlu' Atlaiitit- Kiifmiiii; Co., 01 lvittlurir, L':i. ninUe a specialty t liKUiulatturinx for I he umes ti, trade the Huost bra mis of ii;ii:i;iii;ifiP'j; ami l.uVricaiiJss Oils, Niij'hriia ami (Jasolino bide m PITROLEOH. We rhallenie eompariim with o. !V known roilu-t of jtefrol- iiii:i. If you wish. Ihb most M : Guiraift : Eeiisfictory : Cils ia the market ask for ours. ATLANTIC REFINING CO., ia : r-i;r i;i i i-i.' r , n rrs'.u'ia;. v. From Pole io Pole A 7K !! S A If.iPA 11) I I. V hrm (V'tnon rit i-.t it j".."r ticiir-: !".r a t iliti-aAe of the tlKd. Tho Harpooncr's Story. it J; ijvr.it JU : 7, JSS.f. T'Tl. .T. C A TT fc Co. Twrr.ty Vr.ir urn 1 w in :i )rrrocj."T in t'ie N'r:!i raeMiv, hn live r: r 1" Ui cn-w nn.t tuy T. vi e l.tl l u p '.til nrvy. Our i.oiM-j v t re l'l'att), iri: mm w ;ilen 1 l-U't'tiin-;, tt-ili ti.r.i binti-hf ai r .. r ii!, nvX .i!P t-p iith p-cm d r.-:t n. T.ino i r . hii.l lfrg e v rt r'tTy I I'lly tit. All o.if I. :r inice n .-i-iiifiu.iy .! ! r 'y' l, b-Jt the r : ..n had o imie ii.4i-a b.-ltlen of A er' (m.-apamli a :h ifrivis ibut. Wo ii-eov-v- 1 n it c, . i -U r tl:.r I l.rtvi; cvrr neon r.n n I.- ,! tn'M.t iy nr.v ..tl r!rv:i;n.- : f. t .l-. :u , 1 1 v.. f-.-i ti i 2- -. f dt 1 cf it. .-ei:4 i. m-n. t. n :n y.iiir A f y. .:i rars u .ur :.i I'.-infcJ .. 1 t r scurvy, I ti.m:Vt l o. v;i.lt -uuw of t; n'. .!.. I V"U '-f t"i The Trooper's "xporienco. Mistt, ISiutoianl .,S. Afi a,: J -r AT, I it. J . i - Avnn & ('. 0' T'.:-ni.vi : i t ..v.- much j.U'awv.rrt C Ufi fy o C--' vi ' f f.,:r l-.irfjur!U.w We L:n '. '"'i"f!1(i i.f-rf f. ov r two vari, d t'i;i; viueh h' t.j !;v. lr ffi'. r.-i:s' un'fr cjv.. f"t h a tvntf trr-i;: t on v (: ih ";i',i in ti.i r uiitry vMi-sor. I . t'lo Kuri-nfj liin'. f wa fc;ivif.ti t ! k Ji'-n S"a ii:;:;k, two b.-ttl.. i f ul.i. U P. i :e i:iV WN diriui'j-i-:tr r;p:i!v, unit I a. a n.'iv well. Your- :.'u v, 'J'. !v. 1m-:ev, n arsaparifa fiver s s N tb rrivtV-mu'-'My rffortivr Moo-1 pnrifier f .. . t !v m't-itt. !! t'ual -rri.ii the pc-in o fc- ;a Hie fty&li tU. Dr. J. Ayer t Co., liOTvellI Sola bv ? 1 Iniiriit; Frca f 1 ; ti boiui for &cicr.t'.fi3 American Agsrcy for "JZ CAVEATS, I. -VJi OESi2H PATENTS, - rriovoiniro -y Mi vn t ..: ; :;u t-, v, v vn;tc. '! -t iM-.r-vei for c:ei!r"ti: T.-itim tn Amuti-'I. h . . ( -i r ' 1 1 t-ik'-n .' l-v 1.- Sri'Mi;1!; itii.ro tc pui'j by a i" t ice tci vi:i i reu r ,i c:i:ir..; m tho 'ricntific merienw T irfp-1 r reulntin cr r.nv ;-r:entifi' rn7r !t -rUi. M'!'n i:ii'ri!cii. Tm it .-'n--' it ii .?!i hh.ntil tt wiTMimt it. VVr- k' r, ; : w-ir; tl..iMS tn.'frliv A! in- .VI , o.. !! i ! i I FOR ARTISTIC TRY THE FREEMAN. Mil'! i i 1 1 1 1 i'l 'I r ... v . .!::,...!. !,.! IV - Vert rt'c U S. r .'.-nt Ottice. time : I: m ' !e0 r ! if I ! . rip- ... ..f : with miti v. o C.A.SP.OW&CO. Oppos.te Patent Otlice. Wjxntrgton. D. C . . ..... i'AJ:;''- ;-. :, rss 5t i;::.nil lfii'.van cuttikg. r3J UnS.tta l-l. CKDi., TO the e .v vor.h rn:cAi. ECi!0 co. 13; CJN.njEfl") war rtn. rJ iUJiiiiuii-iMiUiiaiiiuiuiit; ui, .r.kl.l 'i- i It ,., . .Ni-r- iK.nr.-i. I r : I'l '..r, - l.'vr h t Kn.ii I .1 1 it. .1. 1. nt ', it tf 1 j ; .,. 1.. .1 I lir k I.I,.. ...;. I .. .. - 1 1...J.. I . a 1,. I J I. . - i-., t(.- I.f; . 1.. 1 y 1 u ' .. : I I , I t, . t u..iliiir,'irf -. Tilrf'...l I. - n- .c !. . 1 i 1 . 1 1.1 ;in.f. ti.i. 1.. u la 1 i ..1 l.n . 1 ii. . ,.,!.,, .. ,.....,. , , ; - It . C ure k I.- !' ' ' t a mm a kldurj t nrr a , T... r- ...... ,1 ., , . 1. , , r, .III all tt'lalir ,fu; f. I .. ., i iilA-uLdi j). I'iiu luuuiwiiwu n.'fci.tk.J 'I W. IIJlv. General Irsurance Agenl 4 !. Mi j?,rvr:??iTM!r!if' 1 - , RVRs - Price ?ir1 u-. -- At I; fVo;:,;i;::ni-- iC' T" .i I. - iii. 1. .I- l'"V f- C ifiCvi f ' : lU'Fortf v (i. .; H. in..-.. t..r :m. .v.. G , r:" J)MJ L -5 ,,,i;,-'i-' -v7, vll'!;V,',,'",,"r ) : . : 1,r :' :" -2 : . . k. ir.v -ht-o. rtf) mm l j K :H s4 P:ck ITni'!.t"li mid rciicvaU tbotronblm fncf tcnt to al Hwus i;:iti)if tho syao-.m. nucli ao) 1 'iino-w, Naisaoa, rou.sines. Iiijtrt-sii nftor l uin ia tu I-h1h. kc Vhllu tbi ir moafj ruiArkublu Eucceas Lad bocn ehowu ui cuiic ij JTcnrlachp. yet Cnrtcr's Littlo I.lvrr riTI"? fxm Citir. lly u:i.il io in 'onstip.ition. ouringauj pre v iiti:: ; tiiaTiiiciyiniTCoiii. "taint. hiiu tU yaliM r in if t .ill iiiHonliTHOf tbowimui Unimiil:itotA Ji'.r r ami reifiilatu tuebowelt. vca if tbey ouly B-'Jr- r 1 -i'ii t-iiH i iirttnswinK comp tnirit; but f or. a ?:nl t':rirf HHluedBd'HiH iiotoiitl hero.aml tb.Ti v ..ru. n'-o trythi'in will (mil t tit liulo pill valn I 1 U in nfMiinny wnys tiiat thy will ma bo uni i.Lt : i to without tht.m. But after allaick bea4 2s the 1an :o of so m.tuy lives that boro is whrra i.r;:ivat imui. vat puiacoruu waits I'M. . I. !tlo Ilver nils aro Tory pmr.ll and to ui:?, Ot.o or two I'iila in:ikoa dofio. i ' r:ot 1 y vojrttnblu ami ih nut Rripo or ; i .- Ui' -if j;..'i:t!o action jileaaoaH who I-i vi il-at 25 cents : tivoforfl. Soiil r:! -i .: "y c 1 V I : ' i' ic-'i-i cver Vri-orc, or Kent by mail. WrfilOFNECO., New prk. i.riLLSLLCOSE. SMALL PRICE Q.OO PER vJILLHIO WORKERS ; .t ni-r rx, any :ir, in any jmrt of t-io Country, r ; (ri ' iplovtin -lit v. vii !i we furitUli. V n be away from home ovrr I'.Itil t. Yfliir:i:ir .1 v t:;r ah fie t imr to tie work, or only - i :. t :it As cr.jvit :il not n ;t; irt 1 yiiinin :- ri-!. .- s)-i j lv y.ni wiih t?t;it i-j reel. 1. I; v. ill i yt.ii Titliiii2 t' try the hn-iii Ai.y or.r t on th work !'.e. imier ninivi- iikui.' li i . 1 i;c -r.:rt I". ilt:r is unknown w it U our w o: (, t i s. i'.v.-i v hour yon lalx r you can ea-il v niiik. :i "leii: r. ?,' i!i:c who is wil ij i; tu v k fa tU t n:ak !) r It.fi: y every day thrui r:ui he : :ah- m t'.i. e ihiyj ,;: i-'ivoi lii::iry i in vho im lit . i. J for li tf book C'i:. iiii-'i. tho f ii Ii In:o,i:i:iii.,i. licx CSO, PCJsTLAMO, f.TAIME. ;;olliiii- On i:;?rlh Will x t-t: :e SJ:ov!ila!i"s ( oi.iiition Towiler! KHEFS YOUR CHICKENS S;rcr..; a-. 1 Ilc-ilthy ; Prevents all Disease ; ! ;Vt M'-iiII ittii IJ'-tiH. 1 ; (O il. Tn (fimn- nr i nr f.i f: nut . .t I. . ' V ,MI f . t mi ;i iVl tl i t ntii Ion.. ,k ltr., I. . h, n Si. !-itea? I ;U. . , I -i ' -,i , l;l ! I- .US, ;j , . t,f. S rf,. Oil, ... : ; I;t ir-t iieifr liiT nc ! r.- . '1 . -. . . ii -,n , pi-irt- i ,ii.t I. ir-'f ran 0 ."-. . o , a t . "' : ii-:. -in II. .u-- m., Uftoit, SI. I,- B 3? Curos thnntind anntmllyof LivirCom j lriiiitq, r.iHousness, .Tanmlicc, Pyspeo piit, ertistip:itifn, ta!lria. fore Ilia result from an Unhealthy I j vert I. an any t.tlier cause. Why nirr when yoncan Imcureilf Dr. K.-inford:- l.ivt r Invigor nror i n rplptirated f itiiiv rnpi'icini. ol It lK I KliKT WILL M I'I'I.V UCM Steel Picket Fence. CHEAPZ3 . THAN t W003 ...v... G ii i n M v 'LlUi n- ' .ui If u-- 1 !r-.n or W not) l--t. rt'hi-o writli c f. r I r- . j l;.' g i.ii.'.-tr, N'inTT -f (JUi , Ii fthlr r, inrlo, U i (,(. Wu iii.icoT-tefir hvy tn.n I'", li. t titi, fr'It'.iM.-, ir bhutit-r iit HI. K fSC U'KS, Vii r I-... . t, 1 I.m i-i!-. Krs-tan 1 Irn f.filu, W i U K IiooKaJ TAf LOR A DtfAN. ?01. 203 & 205 MarketSL Pittsburgh, Pa. r Trt .en, I tlic TTnirTi'lmi. Frcncl. r .'''7 j.T, ,if T4LTHOS fnT. nli.l r. ''J.MCt.l ''" "'" tliat ''AI-TlliiB Will ft I Ol' licliaii-a-i- Koilili, V it. Csr itar.d pay if s.ilir '.. V w.VOH MOHLCO.. SALESMEN WANTED .of.M i.NKIiY 1IH K W if row all 1 v ri f o.l Mini nw. I-i'l tl r-t'M'k i- ti 1 i iir.-f!'i 1i 'el t-k. litM4irt r in .i 1 1 n frutu th flUtrt. Write M r V. I- -'.! ii 1 lv;.. l nrriei1 lHL U'AMHi A l.hM. KNKKOhTIt;, II i-f li-nic 11 n iTitf Id io rrtrrBiil the Kont h :i . , ij r -1 f ; ' I ! . n 1a I h- I if if f-l In Id l- I H- wini 1 1. -r r o r- l -1 . ! It . Ii' i-o mi 11 tio. k rr.!if wr f riirty lnlrt ,,,!- , I rni I r I'Ti'i n ew ar .1 - 11 r rhilr of trtr'torr. .SlO.Nfc WKKUNUTOM. iu. em. luruulo. lUtila. ifilSrfT S4MPLE9 FPU CS3l.ll I l. -.-.. Wrlt now Ul.u. A. atwTTJi KoralXL I If fct?W e3 bj 3 d nl. THE DUDE. The rtudc Is wtiat the d.uicly was, Kulx-.l to the 11" degree; As mid a hiiin.iu Ht'iiiiea M. .rial eyes cull bee. 1 1 is f.iuiliess collar towers hikTh, liis patent iMilrrs cluw culls hn;is. lf the crt:im of earth, t'or what t,e Uucsu't kuow. A nioin.it !e adortis his eye, A cane ret.s in LU hand: Tix idle is he. fur, to work. Or e'en to understand. He doesn't dunce--he dotes on "form' Is lu:ii:i,I as :i leau; Iti.t inuki s w uull tlower picturesque, As all the ludies know. 'Tis hard to fuess his aim in life, Since things are so Hise: The men-si trilte Ironbii s him TUoiifli why, no one cun say. His chief exertion is to dress, .To sli-.-p ut times, and eat. And show himself u.tmirnily i To folks iu town and slrei t. Eaeli nation has its special dude. To certain features true; Hut one may say to steal a joke The Yankee dtule'll do." Joel lien ton, in Once a Week. JOHNSON'S DEHTOIu Tt Was an Extraordinary Job to Collect from Him. "When O. M. Carter, now president of the Anteriean Uoan ,fc Trust com pany of I 'malia. sold his ixst trader's ottliit at tin- It isebud Indian aireney in South Dakota to Charles Stem winder Johnson, as IM Mali used to eall him. there were smue accounts on the liooks which lie threw in as nneollectahle." It was Col. (h'orc l'.arry starting an-o(iu-r story of his frontier life in the cafe at the Lotus club the other even in;,' after tho toilce, says the New York Siin. "Well, one time, after he'd pot pretty fairly well used to the redskins and some of the surrounding territory, it .-.truck .lohnsx.n one day that it would he a ei, m m 1 thin'' to collect some of those n neol leetahie hills. Kvcry cent lie rot tit of them was clean profit. The worst man on the whole list was a Frenchman named I!ucht who was ratiiiijr some out tie over toward the head waters of the south fork of the White river. Carter ha-t let. Ihiehe run up a hill of one hundred and sixly dollars, and he couldn't yet a cent of it. 'Courtis, the head clerk, who had been at the post for years, told Johns. n that if he could collect I'.iu he's hill he could f,ret every d, 1 lar ev-ry other man on the Koschud owetl him. Vcll, one day Johnson yot llitchcut the agency, and jollied him aloii- until lhichc actu ally agreed to pay. " 'I tell you vat, Zhonson,' the Frenchman said, 'I pot some catties i.p.ui ze recvaire. 1 yif you some of zem catties.' "'All rijrht, nuche, Johnson said. '.Ta.-k Arkwripht an' I'll po up an' pet 'cm some day before lonp. "So they had a drink nnd lhichewent away. In ten minutes he'd chanped his mind alsmt the cattle and conduit".) not to pay the bill. He tMiunced hack into Johnson's store and excitedly ex claimed: Zhonson, 1 keepozose catties my self. I don't tsink 1 pifs you zose cat tics. Zose is my catties.' ''All ripht, ISnche. You can keep vour cattle.' said Johnson. 15nt the cattle you pave me are mine, an Jack Arkwripht an I'll j?o up an pet 'em next Sunday. " 'I det you ain poin pet zose catties. Xevaire! Zosi; is my catties. Kh? I keep .em. I know. Kh? You sec mc? 1 am llnehe. Zose is my catties. So. I keep .cm. Vat you can do? No..inp: I know. Zat is a pood 'cad. Zere is vorso "cads as zat in con-n-press. Fh?' And out of the store he strode. 'Joliiisi n saw him once or twice after that before the next Sunday and each time said: ' "I'll lie down on Sunday for my cattle." "I'.nche raved atound the apency nn.l swore by all his viponms oaths that he'd fill Johnson full of Winchester holes if the trailer made an elT.irt t pet the cattle. So on Saturday J'din son went to t he apency build i up and had Jack Arkwripht sworn in as :t deputy I'nited States marshal. There isn't very much law on nn Indian reserva tion, and in most eases mi-'ht is riplit: hut Arkwripht' s 1. -tip i f!icial title had a ti-rrifyinp s.,rt tf soutid to the half breeds, and Jack thoiipht himself only second in importance to the president. lie had Mexican, Indian and ncpro hlood in his veins, and was us I'm- a specimen as you'll see in many a day's travel in that country of stalwart men. Ilcsides that he didn't understand how to lie afraid of anythinp, uml he In lievisl that a six-shooter was made for use rather than ornament. "Well, on Sunday morninp Johnson an.l Arkwripht, with his commission as deputy marshal and a herder, started for linehe's headquarters seventy-five miles away on the river, leavinp Huche lMiilinp around the apency and swear inp all sorts of t limps. They rode pretty hard, and made almut sixty-five miles before sundown. They hadn't much more than pone into camp Ik fore Iluehe came hy ridinp like a whirlwind with a W inchester balanced on the sad dle in front of him. " 'lie down in the morninp, Iluche, shouted Johnson, 'an pet my cattle. "With an an pry shout, ISuche rml? on toward his camp. Very early the next morninp Johnson's party started. They made the ten miles to I'.uche's camp in about an hour, and couldn't find a sipn of life. '"Well, I'm pormed, said Jack Ark wripht, 'if the d Fretichy hain't hid his cattle in the htlttes. "They separated and Wpan to hunt for the cattle. While they were at work Huche came ridinp up at a furious pa it from the Nebraska line. It turned out afterward that he'd In-eii fiver after the Cherry county regulators to help him lipl.t the cattle thieves. ISut.the lirst H-r.on he met after-lie pot across the line was a man whom lie owed for a wupon. The man spotted hiui for the money, and Uuche lied for the reserva tion upaiu. "Weil, when Jack Arkwripht saw Ihiche cominp he pulled out his com mission a deputy marshal nnd r.xle down to meet the excited Frenchman. "I,iok here, Fuchc," he shout d. as he p..t within haiiinp distance, 'here's my commission as marshal. "The Frenchman turned 'and ran as hard as his jx.ny could po. " 'I von't hear no papers, he shouted. 'I don't vant no papers." "Well, sir, hell-to-split over the prairie went thosv two men, Iluche shouting that he wouldn't hear Ark wripht bawling out his commission at the top of his mighty lungs. Johnson told me afterward that he'd have been satisfied 'ifter that if he hadn't got the cattle, i'.ut while Arkwripht was chas ing Iluche Johnson's herder found a bunch of the cattle. Johnson and the herder cut out twenty-two head from the bunch and start.d them for the apency. Arkwripht saw them ami left the chase after l'.uche to join them. "Away the cattle and the men went at full gallop. For a time liuche seemed to have piven up. lied lieen in such a whirl tit" excitement that he hardly se.'ined t t know where he was, and his Winchester had been left at his camp when he started for the regu lators, lie seemed to realize all of a sudden that Johnson was actually do ing us he said he would and taking his cattle. They were a mile away when Hue he started again at full pal lop for his camp, llis head herder. Curly, and another cowboy were there. He got his Winchester and the two cowlxiys and away they went after Johnson full tilt, ISuche swearingastreak and shout ing at every jump that he'd shoot John son's black heart and white liver fuil of small, line holes. "Arkwright saw him coming, and with an unpleasant look in his eyes and his right hand dangerously near his six-shooter holster swung flown to meet him. Iluche had no word for the deputy, but kept tin after Johnson, vowing all sorts of dreadful fates for him. So Arkwright swung in behind the Frenchman and his herders, neither of whom was armed. ISuche was taking a terrible risk, llis Winchester was balanced on the sa Idle liefore him. If it slipped he would have instinctively grabln-d for it, and Arkwright would certainly hnve shot him if he made the slightest movement to touch his rille. Johnson has told me since that lie hasn't a grain of sand left in him. It all oozed out of his toes when Iluche was thundering down on his ba.-k swearing to shoot him, and he didn't flare try to face almut for fear the Frenchman would think he was about to shoot and so would keep his word. "That sort of thing couldn't last long. Johnson and his cow! my stopped and waited until Iltiehe came up. " 'I'll tell you what I'll do, Iluche,' Johnson said. "I've got two men and you've got two men. Let those four go over there a hundred yards and ap praise those cattle. I'll ta!ce enough of the cattle at whatever priee thev lix to pay your bill, and I'll give yon tweti ty-iive dollars in cash right here be sides. You give mc a bill of sale of ttu cattle and I'll give you a receipt iu full to tlate. "lhiche's chief her ler. Curly, said that was a fair ileal, and Ihieii.- finally agreed to it The four cowboys went oh together, and immediately a fine wrangle began. One side wanted a 1 ,w appraisal, the other a high one. an.l. a -their numbers were ep::il. there v::: noway of reaching a settlement. 1 had lx-en going on for ab ut an hour, when Johnson told l'.uche that h would take a bull at forty dollars am four cows at thirty dollars each call it square. Iluche hesitated, u:c. Johnson offered to give him live dollars cash besides. The. French man took the money and John son drew up the papers. They had just lieen signed and exchanged when the four cowboys came up. They had at last agreed on exactly the same appraisement that Johnson hud given Luche. When Curly heard how it had Iki-ii settled he set about cutting out the five cattle for Johnson. As Ihtche and Curly rode back to the Frenchman's camp, w hile the cowboys drove back the rest of the lunch Johnson hud started to take. Curly sud denly said: "'Uuche, that's a great head you've got.' " "Vat yoti mean?" "'Just what 1 say. There's lots worse heads than tliat iu congress. You're a great uiau. You're a smart man.' " 'Vat you mean? '"I say 1 mean what I say. You're a smart man. I've got some busim-ss back ill New York state and I was go ing to pet a lawyer, but 1 guess I'll send you. "Two flays later Iluche hurst into Johnson's store ijtiiveri.'.g w ith anger. "Zhi itisou,' he shouted, "y.iu owe me twenty dollar. I vai.t him.' "Johnson never succeeded in con vincing the Frenchman that he didn't really owe him that twenty dollars." A SLIGHT MISTAKE. Am Ortloi.u Smart Man i-t Ilimaflf In to Xrubl The smart man was getting off a train, when he s:w a couple ahead of him who at once challenged his atten tion and indignation. The husband was walking off with his hands in his pocket, while the wife carried a baby and a large basket and valise. This was too much for the smart man and, stepping up to the overloaded woman, he said: "Let me assist you, madam," and, seizing the basket and valise, he ran after the husband, whom he grablicd without ceemony. "Here, sir, carry these things for vour wife. I should think you would be ashamed to call yourself a man, and permit your wife to lcar all ti bur dens in this way. Let this be a lesson to v", sir, to " "Hello" interrupted the stranger, in dignantly, "she ain't u;y wife. I never saw the woman in my life till now." At the same time the woman was shrieking at the top of her voice: "Stop thief." and it tiok the smart man's ut most eloquence to convince the depot IMiliceman that he was not a sneak thief, instead of a sel f-app oitite I re former of other p .ple"s morals and manners. Detroit Free Press. Stir Va liiiwu nn lloyn. A little girl but fourycars old wasoli-fu-rved to be very devout in church and to lie very eager not to miss attending the services. "What do yon do, when you are there, U -.ic?" usked a lady friend, "yon cannot read und you must get very tired of such long services?" The little fine shook her head gravely. "I am never tired. "she said. "I have so much to say to find." What do you say, do tell mc," jicrsi-.ted the lady. The chi'd climbed on her knee, and whisiiercd with all her soul in her eyes: "I cannot go to church too often to thank tiod 1 was not born a boy. ST0UV OF A LONG SLEEK And the Stranse Disappearance of a Watermelon. It was four o'clock on Sunday after noon in the month of Julv. The air had been hot and su tiy, but a light, cool breeze had sprung up and occa sional cirrus clouds overspread the sun. and for awhile subdued his fierceness. We were all out on the piazza as the coolest place we could tind my wife, my sister-in-law audi. Theonly sounds that broke the Sabbath stillness were the hum of an occasional vagrant bum blebee or the fragmentary song of u miKrking bird in a neighboring elm, who lazily trolled a stave of melody now and then as a sample of what he eould do in the cool of the morning or after a light shower, when the condi tions would be favorable to exertion. "Annie," said I, "suppose to reliev. the deadly dullness of the afternoon, that we go out and pull the Li r water melon and send for CoL l'emlierton's folks to come fiver and help us eat it." "Is it ripe j-et?" she inquired, sleepi ly, brushing away a troublesome lly that had impudently sett lei t on her hair. "Yes, I think so. I was out yester day with Julius, and we thumped it and concluded it would lie fully ripe bv to-morrow tir next day. Hut 1 think it is perfectly safe to pull it to-day." "Well, if you're sure, dear, we'll go. Hat how can we get it up to the house? It's t.Mitiip to tote." "I'll step around to Julius' cabin and :vsk him to go flow n with the wheelbar row and bring it tip," I replied. Julius was an elderly colored man who worked on the plantation and lived in a smal ! house on the place, a few r .ds from my own residence. His daughter was our cook, and other mem ticrs of Ins family served us in differ ent capacities. As I turned the corner of the house I aw Julius coming up the lane. He '.lad on his Sunday clothes and was irohahly returning from the afternoon meeting at the Sandy Uuti H;ipust Inir.'li. of which he was a leading mem Iht and tl .a m. "Juiius," 1 said, "we are going out to pull the big watermelon and we want you to take the wheelbarrow an.l ro with us and bring it up. to the louse." "Docs yer reckon flat watermillun's ripe yit. sah?" said Julius. "Didn't 'pear ler me it went finite plunk en nil yestid.ly fer ter be pull' befor' U-r-morrer." "I think it is ripe enough, Julius." "Mawning 'ud be a better time fer ter .nil it, sah, w'en de night air an' de jew';, done cool it off nice." "l'robabiy that's true enough, but we'll put it on ice and that will c.iol it. and I'm :;fi-iid if v.e leave it too long some one will steal it." "I Yicc".; uat's so." said the old man with a coniirmatory shake of the head. "Yer takes chances w'en yer pulls it. en yer takes chances w'en y.-r do:i". I ley's a i -t er po' white trash round licali w at am' none too goo t fer ter steal it- I seed some tin ein loafin" 'long de big road on hut way home fum chu'eh jes' now. I has ter watch tner own chicken eixip to keepchick'ns'nuiT: fer Sunday eatin. I'll go en git de w'eellsirro'.v." As the old man turned to go away he iicgati to limp and put his hand to his knee with an exclamation of pain. "What's the matter, Julius?" asked my wi'.e. "Yes. Fncle Julius what ails you?" echoed her sweet young sister. "Did you stump your too?" "No, miss, it's lat ruis'able rheumatiz. It ketches me now an' den in de lef knee so I can't hardly draw my brcf. Oh, Lawdy," he added Wtween his clenched teeth, "but dat dohurt! Ouch'. It's a little lielter now," he said after a moment, "but I doan' b'lieve 1 kin roll dat w'eellxirrow tint ter fie w atcrmillun patch cu back. F.f it's all d" same ter yo". sah. I'll go man' ter my house en sen' Tom ter take my place, w'iles 1 rubs some linimnm on my luig. That'll all right. Jiiliu-.." I paid, and the ol I man, hobbling, disappeared aroun 1 the corner of the ho-ise. Tom .as a luidierly, sleepy-looking negro . ov of ;ihul fifteen, r.-l.i'ed to Juiiii-. wi:e in some degree aud living with them. The old man came back in aliout five iii'.iiutes. lie walked slowly and s-eiue l very car. fill aliut Ix-aring ids weight on the :iilli--t.-d ltie.uiN-r. 1 sent Li.a Jane fer to wake Tom up," he sai.L 'He's down iu de orchard asleep u.ider a tree soitu'whar. It takes i minute er so fer ter wake "im up. 'Li.a Jane knows how ter do ii She tickles 'im in tie nose or der yeah w id a brooms! raw. Holk-riii doau' do no g.xxl. Dat lmy is fine er tie Sotien Sieei-ers. He's wtiss'n his grau'daddy nse.l t. r lie." "Was liis grandfather a deep sleeper, Fncle Julius? " asl.c I my wife's sister. "Oh. yas. Miss Malx-I." said Julius, gravely. "He wuz a inonst'us pow'ful sleeper. lie slep fer a mont once." Hear me. Uncle Julius, you must lie joking," said my sister-in-law, incredu lously. I thought she put it mildly. "Oil, no, ma'am, I ain' jokiu. I never jolies on s.-r'ons subjee's. I wuz ilere w'en it all happen. Hit wuz a moust us i pi arc thing " "Sit down, Fncle Julius, and tell us almut it," said Mabd, for she dearly loved a story and : pent much of her t'.me "drawing out" the colored people in the iici:'hb.irhotd. The ol I man tiok off his hat and seated himself on the top step of the p'.ui.ii. His movements were some what sriir. and he was very careful to get his left leg in a comfortable pt sition. ' Tom's gran' daddy wuz name Skun dus." he licpan. "He had a brudder i:aui-. Tushus en ern udder name Cottus en crm flt'.cr" name Squinchus." The tiiii man paused a moment and gave his leg another hitch. "Hut cz I was a-saying, dis 5'ere Sktiftdns growed to lie a pert, lively kind i r lioy en wuz very well liked on tie plantation. He never quo" led wid ,lf res' er de ban's en alius behaved i.so'f eil tended t-r his wn'-. D fault he had wuz his slecp'ness. He'd half ter be woke up eve'y mawnin ter go ter his wulc on w'encber he got a chance he'd fall asleep. He wuz might' ly nigh gettin' inter trouble mor'u once for gw ine ter sleep in de fdel. I never seed his beat fer sleeping. He could sleep in fie sun er in de shade. He could lean upon his hoe en sleep. He went ter sleep walk'n' 'long de road oncL en mighty nigii bust his lied open "gin a tree he run inter. I did heah he onct went ter sleep while he wuz in swimmin'. lie wuz floatin' at de time en come mighty nigh gittin' drownded befo' he woke up. Ole marse heard 'bout it en ferbid his gwine in swimmin' enny mo, fer he said he could ii' 'ford ter lose 'im. "line mawnin' Skundus didn't cum ter w-uk. Dey look fer 'im roun' tier plantation, but dey couldn't fin' im. en befo de flay wuz gone ev'ylmdy wuz shodat Skundus had runnel erway. '"Cose dey wuz a great howdy do almut it. Nolmdy hadn't ncblicr runned erway fum Marse Dugal befo. en dey hadn' b'en a runaway nigger in fie neighbo'hood for th'ee er fo' years. De w'ite folks wuz all wukked up, eu dey wuz mo' ridin er bosses en mo' hitchiu' up er buggies d'n er little. Ole Marse Dugal' bed er lot er papers printed en stuck up on trees 'long de roads, en dey wuz sutnpin' put iu de noospaR-rs a free nigger Ftiin down on tie WimTton road read de papers ter some er our ban's tell in all 'bout how high Skundus wuz, en w't kine er tecf her had, en 'bout a sky ah he had on his lef check, en how sleepy he wuz en olFrin a reward er one hundred dollars fer whoelier 'ml ketch 'im. Hut none of 'em elior cotch 'im. "One mawnin 'bout er month later who sh'd come walkin out in the de fiel wid his hoe on his shoulder but Skundus, ruiiiiin' his eyes ez ef he lutdu' got waked rip good yit. "Dey wuz a great 'miration 'mongs' de niggers, en souieliotly run oil ter tie big house fer ter tell Marse Dngal". ISiiueby here come Marse Dugal' hissc'f, mail as a hiwuit, a-cussin e:i gwiue on like he gwine ter hurt soiuclxxly, but anyis! w'at look cl-se could 'a seed he w uz nms't tickled ter def ter git Skundus back ergiix. " 'Whar yer b'n run erway ter, yer goixl fer nuthiu", lazy, black nigger?" sez 'e, 'I'm gwine ter gib yer fo' hun dred lashes. I'm gwine ter hang yer up by yer thumlis en tak ev'y bit er yer black hide olf'n 3'cr, cn den I'm gwine ter sell yer ter de fus' sjx'eilater w'at comes "King bttyin niggers f"r ter take down ter A la bain. W'at yer mean by runuin'er way lumyer ptxl. kin' mars ter, yer good fer nuthin wool-headed, black seou:sd'el?' "Skundus hxiked at 'im ez ef he didn' nndcrstan". 'Lawd, Marse Dugal',' sez e, 'I doan' know w'at youcr taikin" 'bout. 1 ain't runned erway; I ain' be'n nowhar.' " 'W'kur yer ben fer de las mont?' said Marse Dugal. 'Tell me de trtif, er I'll hah yer tongue pulled out by tie roots. I'll tar yer till oIkt yer en set yeronliah. 111111 Marse Dugal" went t .it at a tarrible rate, but eve'y Ixidy k nowed Marse Dugal's bark uz wuss'n his bite. ".Skundus look lack e wuz skeercd most ter ilef for ter heah Marse Dugal" gwine on dat erway, en he cottldn pear to un'erstau' wa't Marse Dugal" was tall; in erlmut. " I didn't mean no harm by sleep'm' in de barn las night, Marse DogaiY 'e, 'en yer'il let me off dis time 1 won' neblicr no so no mo". ' "Well, ter make a long story sho't, Skundus said-he had gone ter de barn dat Sunday afternoon In-fo" de Monday w'en he couldn't be foun fer to hunt aigs, en wiles he wuz up dere de hay 'pearcd so sof en nice that he hail laid down ter take little nap: uat it wuz mawnin' w'en he woke eu foun' hisse'f all covered up whar de hay had fell over on 'im. A hen had built a nos" right on top un "im. en it had half a dozen aigs ' in it. He said he ha !u't stop fer tor git i:o break fus. but said jes" suck one or two er der aigs en hurried right straight out in de iiel fer he seed it was late eu all de res' er de ban's wuz gone ter w uk. "oucr a liar,' said Marse Dugal", en de truT ain' in yer. Yer b"en run erwav cu hid in de sw amp some whar ernuder.' Hut Skundus svvo' up en tlown dat he hadn't b'ea out'n dat barn, en linally Marse Dugal' went up to de house, en Skundu? went on w id his wulc "Well, yer moupht know dey was a great 'miration in the xicighno'hooiL Marse Dugal sent for Skun.i.is ter cum up ter de big house nex' flay, cn Skun dus Wiuit up "sjK-ct'n" fer ter ketch forty. I'.ut w'en he got dcrj Marse Dugal" had fetched up ole Dr. Ieaeh fum down. in Kocklish en an thi r young doctor fuiu town, en dey hx.ked at Skundus eyes, en felt of his wris,' en pulied out his tongue. -ix hit him in de chis', eu put dere ycchs ter his side fer ter In nil his heart lieat, cn den dey up'ii made Skundus tell how he felt w hen "e woke up. Dey staid ter din ner, cn w'n dey got htx' talkin' en" eatin' eu drinkin' dey ttde Marse Dugal" Skundus had had a catacornered lit cn had u'en in a trance for fo' weeks. "Dis yer boy, Tom," said the old man, straightening out his leg care fully preparatory to getting up. "is jjS like his grau'daddy. I b'lieve ef somebody didn't wake 'im up ho' seep till jedgiiK-n flay. Heah 'e comes now. Come tm heah wid dat w'celb irrow, yer lazy, gotx.1 fer nuthin rascaL" Tom came slowly round the house with the wheelbarrow and sttxid blink ing and rolling his eyes as if he had just emerged from a soutid sleep and was not yet halT awake. We took our way around the house, the ladies and I in front, Julius next and Tom bringing up the rear with the wheelbarrow. We went by the well kept grajH'vines, heavy with the prom ise of an abundant harvest, through a narrow field of yellowing corn and then picked our way through the w a term clou vines to the spot where the monarch of the patch had lain the day l"fore in all tsie glory of its coat of variegated green. There was a shallow concavity in the sand where it iiad rested, but the melon itself was gone. Two Tales. A Strnntje Lake In Africa, Lake Assal. one of the finest salt lakes in the world, in the district of Olmck, Fast Africa, only a few miles from the head of the Hay of Tadjouiah, has lH.'cn Ixmght by Mr. Chefneux from the French government. All along the edge of the lake, which comprises only sixteen square miles, is a lied of near ly pure salt alxiut a ftxit in thickness. The water of the lake is so surcharged with salt that it is impossible to sink in it. The bottom is apparently a l-ed of solid salt. The heavy waters lave the base of jagged and precipitous mountains which descend to the edge of the lake, making it almost impossi ble to travel around it. Mr. Chefneux will probably carry on his work by iloating machinery on the lake and dredging in the salt led at its bottom. l .i U ST. A birahas flo-xn lx yon.l tny bl;-'ht: Its witti; wu-i and Lie to the: Now lirirhl. sl davit are luu-ed wilh nipht. And earth h:! S uutniair lair to ace. Hut list, my friend, 'tn well, 'lis well; All lives lie roou-i uc-ji In piu; To-day 'it he-irt-solis and sadii'-nini; knell May te f r Uiite f.t rual i-'ain. The lessons hardest to atquir Krii.ir rrt-at st recotniK-usc at lat: Souls hroa.ler proa when bathed In fire: Pod at!".! ?''' ru '. ! r, h!rn and mast! We do not understand the iatb. To us it a-ctns ". trjcUl"ss waste: Hut iu lic sL.u s S'A ,,.-t al -i-imaiii Kaih hiduei n:r,osc will l.e Irace-ul Ka'.hariae H Terry, in t;od Housekwpir.K. THE OLD SETTLER. His TJnclo fnc-bocker,3 Story tho Widow rudgocrack. Of "Wnll. Squire," said the Oid Settler, "the sumtner is past an' the harvest is endc.L How's yer pigs fattcnin?"' 'Only so-so. major." replied the Squire. ' That Yorkshire breed o pigs don't seem to gether heft suddent ez they m.iwt." "I s t-.'iu pigs o your'n Yorkshires?" as'.tisi the id Set tier. "Nothin sliorter!" exclaimed the Squire. "Yorkshire from tail to noz zle. " "Yorkshires?" said the Old Settler, mal.ci.iusly. "W'ull. now, b' gosh, from the build on 'em 1 thort they was phw-sh-ers?" "Meanin their heads?" said the Squire. "Jedgin" 'em from their heads Yes" replied the Old Settler. "Come to think on it, major," said the Squire, "them heads is a let-tie sharp an' p'nted, an' ca'c'lated pxity well to turn tip the sile, but I don't keep pigs for their heaths. I keep pigs for their hams, an tenderlines, an shoulders an" setch. Our folks don't winter over on head cheese-, our folks don't." "Whose folks does, b'gosb?" de manded the Old Settler, testily. "I didn't say as anybxly's did," re plied the Sjuire. "Hut ye sinniwated!" The Squire, didn't say whether he had insinuated or whether he hadn't, but a suspicion of a smile lurked about hitn. There was silence for .awhile, w hich the Old Settler broke abruptly by saying: "Spcakiu' o' the summer bein' past an" the harvest bcin ended alluz puts iuc in mind o the story o the Widdcr FuJgecrack an" the harvest on her clearin", ez my uncle, Srielx-ckcr Oiles. n"ty tell it- It all happened in the Wild Gander Hidge deestrio', fer 1 don't think tha was n man iu the hull " tlie Sugar Swamp dcestric" i-z could a ha 1 the heart to do w'at Shadrack HifT o' Wild (iander done, an tha was men in S u 'r;t r Swamp mean enough, b'gosh, to pass lead sixpences on a blind tiddler at a dance, an' one of 'cm were Tohin Tid fit, which I hain't ortcr suy, I d in't s'pose, Squire, liein' ez he were a rela tion o' your'n: but facts is facts." The Old Settler paused to see how this little reference alfccted the Squire, and he see met 1 disappointed when the Squire sam: "That's so. He were meaner than cow itch. Fncle Tohin were." "Hut had his gxxl p'ints." said the Old Settler, "lie know'd which diui myjohn had the best stuiT in it." "That runs in the fam'ly, major, said the Stjuire, smiling again. "An' he ii"vvrdriri'ed aione." said the Old Settler. "That don't run in the fa inly" "That's onfort'nit for you. major," said the Squire, with a still broader smile. The Old Settler looked hard at the Squire for awhile, 'but let the subject of Tohin Tit'.tit drop and v ent on with the story of the W idow I'udgccrack's clearing. "My uncle. nelecker Giles, were poin' thr nigh the Wild I'ander Hidge tlcestt ic' ionp late in December, wunst, sellin' metticine fer sniltles in sheep, an he came to a clearin" where tha were a shimmickin great big chap sot out on the woodpile jkinnin' mushrats. Fncle Snobeckcr pulled up his boss an' hollers tiut to the chap: " 'Hullo, neighbor! What clearin' is this?" " 'The Widder 1'tidgecrack clearin',' says the chap, keepin' on with his mushrat skinnin. 'Is the widder in?' says Fncle Sne "becker. " 'W'ull, ruther! saj-s the chap, larfin' like a hyeny. "She's lx.-n in these two weeks way in. he says. Uncle Snelieckcr riidn't know e'zact l' w'at to make outen this, but he says: " 'Kin I see the widder. think?" " W'ull, says the chap, larlin ag'in. 'not jist now; but if yer a gtxxl, stiff Hard-shell Haptis", an don't backslide, the chances is that ye'll run agin her one o' these days," he says. "L'ncle Snebecker lx-gun to git mad now, an' he says, p,xty loud: " 'See here!" he says. 'If ye think ye kin pick me up fer a ctmsarncd uljit yer bark in up the wrong tree fer coons! What's the reason I can't see the wid der now?" " 'W'ull. ' says the chap, larfiu' more'n ever, I dunno why ye can't, unless it's 'cause the widder' s dead!" "Then the chap went on skinnin his mushrats, an" Fncle Snebecker were goin on, w'en the chap hollers to him an' says: "'Guess ye don't know almut the Widder Fudgecrack, do ye?" he says. 'Fncle Sneliecker said he d:dn"t- " 'Wu'il,' sas the chap, ye musn't go 'way without hearin' 'bout the widder, says he. 'It'll le wuth yer while.' "So Uncle SncWcker stayed to hear about the witlder. A year ago, now, says the chap, 'this wa'nt the Widder I'udpecrack clearin"," 'cause tha wa'n't no Widder I'udgecrack then, an' tha wa'n't no clearin". The Witlder I'udgecrack then were jist plain TaLithy Ann Flint, ez teached theWild Gander deestric" schooL Tabithy Ann were gettin' to'ards the time w'en it wa'n't no trick at all fer her to recometnber back fer forty year an" iK-tter, an' the chances was that she'd lie Tabithy Ann Flint when she passed over Jordan. Hut S.-impsou Fudgecrack kim along about then, an", thinkin' Tabithy Ann mowt be a savin sort of a wife to tie to, he ast her, an' Tabithy Ann didn't waste her time a sayin' lift Sampson he bought this here land an' put up that air cabin yen der, an' him an Tabithy Ann sot flow u in it- Sampson he buckled in like a house afire an' cleared off the brush, an by the time the snow went olT he had a clerrin' that nolxxty could sneeze at He sowed it to rye an' he plowed it fer 'tatt-rs. an' left rmm fer corn an' buckwb.it an' setch. " 'Jist ez Sumison got thintrs in that kind o" shipshape he were f mconsid'rit enough to leave Tabitha Ann a widder with all that clearin' an' things fin her hands. It wa'n't jist the thing fer Sampson to do, an' w hen 'tater plantin' time an' corn plantin' time kitn round sumpin' had to Im; did. Tha had to lx somebody to 'lend to them things, u n' m the Widdcr I'udgecrack done the Im-s" thing she could, an' married l'oti phar Uubb. l'btiphar he pitched in an' got in the corn an" 'taters, an" made the garden, an' sowed the buckwhit an' got a pig to fatten, an' things w as in.iv in nicest kind. I'otiphar cut the rye an' the hay an" got it in, an then w'at did lie do but f oiler Sampson an' leave the Widder I'udgecrack clearin' with out no head ag'in.' "'This were hard on the widder. Course the rye were cut an' the hay were in an' the 'taters an' corn an' buckwhit was planted, but what o that? The "taters had to lie dug, tne corn had to be cut an' the buckwhit harvest"d and thrashed. Somelx-xly hail to do that. So the widder didn't raise no objections w'en Job Saprhier said he'd lx? willin' to do that for her, an' she changed her name to Sapridcr. Job were a snorter to work, an" he kep" things a runnin' right up to the handle. He dug the 'taters and got 'em in, an' cut the buckwhit an' thrashed it. an' gcthered the corn ar.' shelled it, and got in the garden truck and Ftowed everything all away snug an' proper, to inj'y it duiin' the winter. Hut Job didn't hev no ln-tter jedgment than Sampson and I'otiphar had, an w'at dtK-s he do but go an" leave the widder a widder ag'in, an' she jist a ca'c'lating her poolicston having some body to cheer her up w'en the winter winds lx-gun to beller! " 'This is tough fin me!" said the wid der; 'this is ixxdy tough!' "Job had stayed long enough to git the pig good an' fat. an' if he'd waited a week or so he cou' 1 a killed it for the widder, but he didn't, an' so she had to pit it killed, an' cut up, an' packed away in the cdlur herself. Hut win ter were romin' an' she were Ion some, an' so, 'long aNiut Thanksgivin' time, w'en Shadrack Hiff, that druv team fer the tan'ry. t'xik pity fin the widder un' toV her that she needn't pine, 'cau--e he'd make it a p'int to cheer her up. She were so thankful to him that she said yes, an' she quit Ix-in" the Widdcr Saprider an" lx-gun b -in' Mrs. Shad rack Hiff. Hut her joy were txi sud dent, I guess, fer two weeks ago she quit lx-in' a widder or anything else in this vale o' tears. I think,' says this mushrat-skinnin' ehao to mv Uncle Snelx-ckcr, 'that I tol' ye awim ago that she were in, didn t I? An' that ye niowt run ag'in her one o' these d:".-s if ye wire a good, stiff Hardshell Haptis' an' didn't backslide? W'ull, that's where she is. An' w'at did the widder do but leave to Shadrack all that clearin' an' all the rye that Sampson 1'udgecraclc sowed, an' all the 'taters an' corn an buckw hit and garden truck that I'oti phar Uubb planted, an' that Job Sap rider gcthered an' thrashed an stowed away so snn. an' the pi"' that Job fattened, and that the widder packed away in the cellar, all fer Shadrack to jist lay to this w inter an' iu' jy an' feel pixsl over! An' w'at do ye s'pose Shal raek's pointer do nex' week? Why, lie's pointer get hitched to the snappy little Widdcr I lly. o' Iyist Crow Harren. an' jist sit her flown on the Widder I'udgecrack clearin' to help him inj'y them blessin s! Now w'at do ye think o' Shadrack Hiff.'' says the mushrat skinnin' chap, larfin' like a hyeny ag'in. '"I think he orter lie tarred an' feath ered an' rid outen the kentry on a rail!" says my Uncle Snelx-ckcr. 'An I'd like to lx tlie one to do it, b'gosh!' says lie. "'No,' says the chap, droppin his mushrats. 'W'ull, says he, 'I'm Shad rack Hiff:' "I tell ye. Squire, it's a durn pocx) thing fer that mushrat-skinnin' hyeny that my Fncle Suelx-cker didn't hev no tar an" feathers with him. Lz it were, he shook the dust o the Widdcr Fudge crack's clearin' offen his feet an' got away from it ez fast ez his hoss'd let him, he were so consarnel disgusted with Shadrack Hiff!' Ed Mott, in N. Y. Sun. t loverly Countered. An American and an Englishman were one day sitting on the balcony of the Anglo-American c lub in Hrusscls, passing the rather slow hours in a little friendly guying of each other. Tin; Englishman sat facing the American flag, and t tie American sat facing the English flag. After a brief lull iu th. sharpshooting the Englishman came out with: "I say old man, ye caw n't imagine what your flag reminds me of." The American was serious. "Well, what is it?" Why it reminds me of a deuced bitf gridiron, don't you know." The American smiled a sad smile and then said: "All right, Johnny. Hut what do you think your flag reminds me of?" "Don't know." "Well, it reminds me of a darned big lx-efsteak that we can fry on our grid iron." Hoston HudgeL An Incident In a Ilark Tunnel. Twoyoung married men in the Salem excursion to Nt wpirt recent "y played a rather sweet joke on their wives, lief ore entering the long tunnel at Elk City each was sitting with the other's wife. They agreed to exchange seats in the long tunnel and each kiss his own wife. Well, they did as agreed. One of the young women screamed terribly and attracted the attention of tha whole car, and all had a hearty laugh at her expense, w hen the light broke in upon her, resisting fiercely anil in her husband's arms. The one kept perfectly still, and she and her husb:uu had a gtKxl laugh on each other w hen the light broke on them. She said she did not know but what it wan her hus band, and did not want to give it away if it was not Salem (N. Y.) Journal. I'njUKt llldcritnluatlon. "I notice," said the woman with the steel-bowed glasses, "that if a married woman happens to get killed the pa pers announce that 'Mary Smith, w ifo of John Smith, was run over by the cars.' for instance. If John himself gets it there is not a word said of Mary, except to mention that he leaves a widow. And that's why I'm kicking." Indianapolis JournaL x ft P
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers