F" " rw ---e. -ti : r- iJvL'.Trr; ragiUiBi- ,1 ., V X u 1 ' . .fc.. 5 A jyScPIKE, Editor and Publisher. HE IS A FEEEMAX 'WHOM THE TRUTH MAKES FREE, AND ALL ARE 6LAVE8 BESIDE.' Terms, S2 per yesr, In advance OLUME VII. EBENSBURG, PA., FRIDAY, JANUARY 16, 1874. NUMBER 50. it ;irr. oU D IIN AIVCE r.iU THE lioVEKNMEJST C THE orough of Gallitzin ! ,.. .1 ! p "Bill, 1ST. . ,r i iit'"d ami enacted by the Burgess l'('..iin-il of the Borough of Gallitzin, ',' inn t'V onln.inel and enacted by the rlv ,pf ihe same, that the following shall ! i ; .( : Kii lit-? ur the government of Gal- ORDINANCE. ARTICLE I. AUDITOR. i ti.c Unr-nigh Auditor shall annually, ',,.r 'h.ui t he tlrst Monday in March, tx- .,,'it mni nnjusi me ikxiks, papers ana ; i. i lie Borough Treasurer and all ri ir.c. f tlie Boreugh into who.se pos- i tn..ne f the Borough nuir come i I'liunr fiscal ear, which shall close i.iv of February. hiill cancel all orders and vouch- i:.' ullowed in the Treasurer's ac- 1 ,l - ha, I i in mediately present to the I "t written report of the receipts and ' ...;rrn of the preceding- year, together , in:' Mints, tf any, in the hands of any I ': liorough, due and unpxid, and he j turn to tne secretary an oruers or stiiiH-i Ilcd by him. AIIT1CLE II. ASSESSOR. i Tin- llnroiign Assessor shnll make the i.hti l nil persons witnin t lie limits or nttion between the first and tenth ; ;:i "t euch year, and shall deliver the ' in r l" t'oio the 15th of said month, to 1 ,n:h Secn-tnry; whereupon the Score- J i:: w c notice, ns provided by law, that I k. and Council will meet for the pur- ' i.i i! l 1 1 itf appeals on the third Saturday i discharging any gun or other firearm, or care lessly and unnecessarily handling the same or onier uungerous weapon, except in defence of .self or property, within the limits of this Bor- ougn, snail pay a nne or not less than one dol lar nor more than ten dollars. Sec. 5. Anv Ierson or nprqnna nn o-o -i,l in fighting, quarreling-, or otherwise creating- dis- .mimiiucs nuiiiii me limits ot tne liorough, shall pay a fine of not less than three dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars. ARTICLE VIII. RETURNS. -,Re?-1- 11 shall be the duty of any officer of the Borough who may receive anv of the funds of the Borough, derived from lines, taxes, or any other source, to pav to the Borough Treas urer, on or before the fifth day of each month, the full amount collected or received by them respectively during the previous month, with a statement of how derived ; they shall report to Council at every regular monthly meeting the amount of money received by them. ARTICLE IX. SIDEWALKS. Sec. 1. It shall be the duty of the owner of any lot or lots fronting on any street laid out within the limits of this corporation, (at such time ns may be hereafter directed by Council.) to cause sidewalks or footwalks, to be made of plank not less than one-and-a-half inches in thickness, laid crosswise on sills, or of other good material, so as to form a dry, firm and smooth walk. Sec. 2. Any person or persons owning lots who shall refuse or neiflect to make their re spective footwalks, as herein specified, within sixty days after being notified by the Street Commissioner, then the Street Commissioner shall cause the s-mne to be made speedily at the expense of the Borough, and the Burgess shall proceed, as provided by law, to recover the amount so expended, with twenty per cent, added: which sum shall be paid into the Bor ough treasury for the use of the Borough. Sec. ;i. It shall be the duty of the Burgess and Council to have the streets and alleys surveyed and luid out, having a widt h as near the specifi cation of the town plot as possible, and owners of property shall remove fences and all other obstructions outside the limits of streets and footwalks ns soon thereafter as practicable. Sec. 4. A II streets or alleys not luid out or spe cified in the town plot shall remain in such con dition, unless owners of property adjoining such unspecified streets or alleys shall donate for use of the Borough the requisite amount of ground necessary for said streets or alleys; or ARTICLE III. BURGESS. 1. t'n the Saturday succeeding the third n in l i liruary, the Burgess shall present i .iiiii.-;! the returns ef election held iu r iil-'i for Borough officers. :'. 1 no Burgess elect shall at the same : p. uraiid take the oath or affirmation, , i-iIhmI by law. ; i lie Burgess shall see that the public - reserved, and shall enforce obedience !. ordinances nd regulations of the i. He shall sign all orders drawn on .-i-iircr. but only for the payment of i u ntil such time ns the Btirscss and Council mav nave been approved and ordered direst, the same to be opened at the expense o'f II.. it I ir.r Council, ileshall have chnrure ii''h seal, and shall affix the same, ,,r iewurd, to nil papers requiring -wherein the Council is equally u " -"-' shu 1 1 have the casting vote, i!.. U -lie ss shall havo control of the ,vi,,.. i:i I of the police (if any be ap ... .v. j :n ' of cmergencies.shall have ,.ii t -I'ccial policemen : Provided, . ..ii.-HHi- rt shall not continue longer ;!, unless the same shall be ap- 1 1 j ! v tii- ouneii. in t-:i jS -i-nce or inability of the Bttr- nt.ii'iv niriniier ot inevouncu present, . -tmii act nnd perform the duties tem- . .W.TU I K IV.- SECRETARY. . T It.. rough Secretary shall draw nil on ii:'- Treasurer for the amounts of all -i i'.- Iloroiigh which have passed . I. i. ni-eping a register of them, and . ; ' turn papers, vouchers, mid other "i- I. limning to the Borough; shall r tin- Borough duplicate, for the use i . tor, not later than the first day of i. !i venr, and keep accurate account ai'iln ies of the Borough, li-sliuli receive nil ordinances which M-d ty the Council and approved and witness t lie same, and shall ilu 1 1 his adopted by the Council and . tin- Burgess. 1- ill Urep the proceeding nnd min- niieii. give due no' ice to meinticrs of t all sii-eial meetings, and pertorm : ii-i- Hfiii'i'- as may be rcquirol. U,. He shall ar.nually v.;h i no Treasurer, i.ntelv after the Auditor's settlement, it 1 t in- i ouneii a report ot t tie li nil m-i s tore i if Ii; ;.lo a statement of the receipts t nendit n res for the precciling jear, and t ituiiilJy give notice, not Inter than fhe ii.liiy in .May, of the time ami place of H: ai'peais from tlie lioroiii'li la.v assess- J 1 ARTICLE V. COUNCIL, j n-i Saturday succeeding flic election i ii'a i.ilie.'rs. the Coiineiiiueii cdect and i . iv it sliail meet for organization. 9 .V'-.-"! Hie prcceifiiig 3" ear, or, in his -. Ii- i tin-' 4 !l. Ki r. t .1,1, Ihirgess elect, or, in the absence i any meintier -l-cted as tempo.ra--ii. ill preside. The returns of elec- u-ii ofJieers being presented and I, r.i n. an, he shall usk the question, funs approved? If no objection ;.M in- .-liail be considered adopt- iniiers severally, sworn or at- ! sh.'ill then proceed to elect jry. I 1 1 a-nicr. street Commissioiicr, -' .ii ' ami such other officers as may : -I t a- by law. all of whom, when :ia,i tak" an oath oraftirmation todis .. r- ,. iai duties with fidelity said nliniiatioi.- to be tiled by the Borough i-mmittees may be appointed a- the Council may direct, for :i of ail matters that may be tin- i.-icnilie J TiiM'.mncil si't-rial -' '.' lain I . i., 'h the Borough Sec. 5. Any person trespassing on anv side walk with any animal or vehicle, hitching ani mals to trees, fences or buildings, or anything not provided for that purpose, shall pay a fine of not lesa than one dollar nor more than ten dollurs. ARTICLE X. SALARIES. 8ec. 1. The officers of the Borough shall each receive the salary hereinafter specified. Sin. 2. '1 he BoroiiK-h Seeretai-v rIimII rpppim two dollars lor cacti meeting or the Conncil and five dollars for making the Borough dupli cate. Sec. 3. The Street Commissioner shall reeelre puch compensation aa Council may order for eacn day actually .employed in the service of the Borough. See. 4. The High Constable, besides such fees and costs as he may be entitled to, aim! I receive live per cent, or tne amount which he actually collects - n the Borough tax duplicateand puys over to the Borough Treasurer. Sec. S. The Treasurer shall receive a salary per annum, or a per cent, on amount received into the treasury, as the Couucil may hereafter direct. Sec. ft. The Surveyor shall receive for each day actually employed in the service of the Ito rough such compensation as the Burgess ana Council shall dirtct. ARTICLK XI. FIXES AND FEES. Sec. 1. The fees nnd costs of the Burgess nnd High Constable shall be the same its prescribed by law tor J u slices of the Peace nnd Constables: Provided, that the Borough shall not be liable for the fees and costs of suchoflicers. See. 2. Ail fines shall be reetufi-fed by convic tion before the Burgess, and iitn!l cases of con victim? the party convicted tdiali be liable to pay, in addition to the tine, the legal fees or costs which may have accrued m the case. Sec. 3. If any person or persons sentenced by the Burgess shall neglect or refuse to pay the fines, together with the fees nnd oosis, such ferson or persons may be committed to the ook-up house for a period not exceeding the time prescribed br law; nnd the fines, with the costs and fees, may be collected by proceedings before a Justice of the Peace. ARTICLE XII. LICENSES. See. 1. No person or persons within the limits of this Borough shall exhibit any play, show, juggling, theatrical, or other exhibition, for whiuh money I demanded or received, with out a license for that purpose had and obtained from the Burgess and Treasurer, which license shall expresslfor what it is granted and time of continuance. Sec. 2. The amount of license to bo paid for the exhibition of any show or play above men tioned shall be not less than three dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars, the nmnunt of CRch license to be determined by the Burgess. Sec. 3. That for lectures on scientific or liter ary sutijects, or exhibitions or fairs tor benev olent or charitable purposes, no license or per mit shall be required. sec. 4. Any person violating any provision LOVE, DRINK AND DEKT. BY FRANK J. OTTARSON. Son of mine! the world before you Spreads a thousand secret snares lioiind the feet of every mortal AVho through life's long highway fare?. Three especial, let me warn you, . Are by every traveler met; Three, to try your might and virtue They are Love and JJrink and L'cbt. Love, my boy, there's no escaping, 'Tis the common fate of men; Father had it I have had it But for Love you had not been. Take your chances, but be cautious; Know a squab is not a dove,' Be the upright man of honor; All deceit doth murder love. As for Drink, avoid it wholly; Like au adder it will stins; Crush the earliest temptation Handle not the dangerous thine. See the wrecks of men around us. Once as fair and pure as you;; Heed the warning! Shun their pathway, And the hell they're tottering Uirough. Yet, though love be pure and gentle, Ami lrom drink you may be free. With a yearning heart I warn you tiainst the worst ot all the three! Many a demon on his journey Bunyan's Christian Pilgrim met; They were lambs, even Old Apollyon, To the awful demon, Debt. "With quaking heart and face abashed The wretched debtor goes; lie starts at shadows, lest they be The shades of men he owes. Down silent streets he furtive steals, The face of men to shun; lie shivers at the postman's ring, And fears the dreadful dun. Beware of debt! Once in, you'll bo A slave forevermore; If credit tempt you, thunder "No!" And show it to the door. Cold water and a crust of bread 5Iay lie the best you'll get; Accept them like a man, and swear- "I'il never run in debt !" r-i.r iiuiiittee, ami any commit- of this article shall, on conviction, be fined not :r II "li: 'at fr iiineil on any subject per- ities without the same bav to them. i.rd Saturday In May of each : n l Council shall meet for ' lug appeals from the Bor ! of revising and equalizing : v. nich meeting notice shall ; : by law. Mi ll shall annually levy and .- i purposes a tax notexceed- '! -led by law. tied shad annually levy nnd I'l vuersof dogs and bitches limit prescribed by the laws 1 -'.! tl. ' it shall meet at least once a H- and place as may Uo Uesig- tin: if the regular meeting in ir. the Council shall fix by regu V r cent, of Borough tax for tho ? vr.-nrr:n constable. t 1 la- tii" duty of the High Con- '! h -:.. suspected and disorderly "i le found upon the streets, Ii 'i'l of miblic niace.s. iu driuk- "i- other places, and bring such i r- i - befi,io the Burgess to be ex- j -a!, above described persons as i " i"! ot disorderly conduct calcu n ! I In- ..-ai.e, or of being gathered ; '''-'r.lei'v assemblages, shall be ; "nan three dollars nor more than i 1-.I.1I-. i i ' ... the duty of the High Con- I 'fee nil tho Borough ordinances , "-t . .i.ake complaint to the Bur- 'ii'H ns of laws and regulations I '". e to hi knowledge, ami pro- I i v proois thereof, and shall, in ; the liuress, quell all tumults, ' 'fli bailees. .-li i on-table shall post all no- the tum-nnd plaoeof holding ( t-ii-'li asessinents, and all or i t y I he Council, and shall exe- ' processes issued by the ii t tl,. H :i i! Hi, t, ,drnui; ' '''--liC.n-tableshrill I' r securely keep that may be confined in ;' in pursuance of the ordi . ai.-ti. and shull be entitled to ','. ')!' "hum. fees as are allowed 1 I le I'. i..n l..;t i' I ; .. less than five nor more than twenty-five dol lars lor eacn onense. ARTICLE XIII TREASURER. See. 1. The Treasurer, within ten days after his election, shall, give bonds, with sufficient sureties, in the sum of five hundred dollars, (until otherwise ordered.) sureties to be ap proved by the Council and bond filed with the Borough Secretary. Said Treasurer shall as sume hia duties on the sweond Tuesday of March. Sec. 2. He shall receive nil moneys belonging to the Borough, and shall pay out the same only upon order drawn by the Burgess nnd countersigned by the Secretary ; and shall de liver to his successor in ollice all books, mon eys and property belonging to the Borough which mav be in his possession. Sec. 3. He shall keep his accounts in a plain manner wherein the receipts and expenditures shall be exhibited, and each item of charge and discharge shall appear therein. Said ac counts shall at all times during office hours be open to the inspection of tho Burgess or any member of the Council. Sec. 4. The Treasurer shall have power to grant licenses, in accordance with the ordi nance of the Borough, to all persons who may apply and pav for the same. He shall k eep ac count of all licenses granted and the rcvenuo derived thererrom in a book for that purpose. Sec. 5. It shall be the duty of the Treasurer to report to tho Council, at each and every monthly meeting, the amount of money on hands a't the time of the last statemont, tho amount received up to the fil th of the current month, from where received, and the amount paid bv him during said month. stoc C. On the second Tucday in March .each year the Treasurer shall submit to the Council a detailed statement of all moneys received by hiin during the preceding year, from whom, what source re ei veil, and the amount paid by him He is required to notify the Con ncil of tho time the duplicate is placed in the handsof the Collector at the first meeting thereafter. He shall assist the Secretary in making ut the Borough duplicate. . . . , " 7 The Treasurer is directed to keep a register of all dogs and bitches returrid to him in accordance with the ordinance of the Bor ough, and furnish a certificate to the party registering the same. ARTICLE XIT. STREET COMMISSIONER. ?e 1 The Street Commissioner shall be sub- ' . ' . . . , m . I lliinrnEI U ll.l Cnilll- i'.r ai.v. I 1 "'"i jaii oi aiiiorui. . pru. t. n.-i.- - . rv,,,- .n.7i!:,r iai'l fees to be jeit to the direction of the unr m Cun Cm "" '" i"'"r " s. cil, and shall have full power " -'".ving out V!if''nu' 'hall give bonds his I instructions, to make conrct and to -hire tin. i.ired dollars, with etilll- 1 all needful aid. subject to the approval of the "I h,.. t i.lh, tllll'l i !V the 'mitieil. The -hall be filed within ten i Burgess and tunnel'. . s. M Cnm Sec. S. It snail oera"""1) r. j . , receives notice of his t missioner to enforce all regulatlo m or ra i nancesof the Horougn reiaiunf " evs, sidewalks, gutters, bridges and sewers. .IfcTT. . I Li-. vii.-I'laii ir inirn 1 1 ii MIU attend to the opening or an ,.. i" or per.-ns who shall bo 8n alleys We shall certify all hill- f'r ate- ' I'. ., , I "" Wi"1'1' or doing ri',1 furnlslied In his department, and huve " ,r "I-. t:"' ,t''", 5inPHny or "ot alUo'ils belonging to the Borough :ii''if:,rreit Ux? ''mils of this ailHieac ountable for the same. ' t 1 pay for t!Uh offense " SeC. 3. The St reet Commissioner shall prepare nnd present to Council at cacti mommy -"-ing. upon a check-roll, his own name and t ne name or everv ierson employed under mm, .n..i. .tun uiu.h nertion whs 'mployeo. mree dollars nor more .tr4- I'..... i ,i . ... . . ... . , ii.i. iiiMrwnf.n hie h',1.',!"' "" f,riher fine shiUl bo ! """"nit of costs and expenses j v'yi.... , . . "'I I,.-, , 1 '"J'lntlg. dlrfaelnir or des- in"1,"".1' ""iee, handbill, or ' "lil'le ,i. i, r 'r l.v ! . ""rg'UM. iK'e .1 . " 'iinn "n. """"'i nyoi i oun . ' ! a ti, 1 I ,he "ame has been 'ir':"r'M, ,"f n,,t '! than three ""I c.Mo ot employed -.'..".'nuiii' ''""' 'ound jumping on ""''ill Uf ly cents or more r""11 f'.nn.l cuity of wilfully where and how employed, amount of daily pay and total amount due each person, aud shall certify the same. KKI'E I.tXO ARTICLE. Any section in this Ordinance may be re pealed, amended, or added to by a two-thini vote of Council : Provided, notice be given ono month previous to the imssnge of such addi tions, amendments, or repeals. Passed finally by the Council, nnd approved by the Burgess, lec. 2llh, A. D. IxTL MICH A EI. HTZHAKKIS, BurfrCSS. John F. Bkaulet, Secretary. JIM SMILRY'S HUTS. Simon Wheeler, Esq., of Angel's Camp, Calaveras county, California, tails the fol lowing : There was a fellow here by the name of Jim Smiley, in the winter of 49 or mivy be it was in the spring of 50 I don't recollect exactly, somehow, though what makes me think it wnsthe one or the other is because I remember the big flume wasn't finished when he first came to tho camp ; but anywayt he was the curiousest man about nlways betting on anything that turned up you ever see, if he could get anybody to bet on the other side ; and if he couldn't he'd change sides. Any way that suited the other man would suit him, any way si's he got a bet, he was satisfied. But still he was lucky, uncommon lucky ; he almost always come out winner. lie was always ready aud laying for a change ; there couldn't be no solitary thing mentioned but that feller'd offer to bet on it, and take any side you please, as I was just telling you. If there was a horse-race, you'd find him flush or you'd find him busted at the end of it ; if there was a dog-fight, he'd bet on it if there was a cat-fight, he'd bet on it; if there was a chicken-fight, he'd bet on it ; why, if there was two birds setting on a fence, he'd bet you which one would fly first ; or if there was a camp-meeting, he'd be there regular to bet ou Parson Walker, which he judged to be the best exhorter about here and so he was, too, and a good man. If he ever saw a straddle-bug start to go anywhere, he would bet you how long it would take him to get wherever he was going to, and if you took him up he would follow that straddle-bug to Mexico but what he would find out where he was bound fcrr and how long ho was on the road. Lots of the boys here has seen that smi ley, and can tell you about him. Why, it ue-er made no difference to him he would bet on anything the dangdest feller. Par son Walker's wife laid very sick ouce, for a good while, and it seemed as if they warn't agoin' to save her. But one morn ing be came in, and Smiley asked how she was, and he said she was considerably bet ter thank the Lord for his infinito mercy ! and coming on so smart that, with the blessing of Providence she'd get well yet ; and Smiley, before he thought, ys : "Well, I'll risk two and a hall that she don't anyway. This yer Smiley had a mare the boys called her the fifteen minute nag, but that was only in fun, you know, because of course she was faster than that aud he used to win money on that horse for all she was so slow, and always had the asth ma, or tne uisteruper, or me consumption, or eomething of that kind. They used to give her two or three hundred yards start, and then pass her under way ; but always at the fag end of the race she'd get excited and desperate like, and come cavorting aud straddling up, and scattering her legs around limber, sometimes in the air, and sometimes out to the side among the feuces, aud kicking up m-o-r-e dust and raising m-o-r-e racket with her coughing and sneezing and blowing her nose and al ways fetch up at the stand jnst about a neck ahead, as uear as you could cipher it down. And he had a little, smart bull pup that to look at him you'd think he wan't worth a cent but to set around and look oinery and lay for a chance to steal something. But as soon as the ruonpy was up on him he was a different dog ; his under jaw'd begin to stick out like the fo'castle of a steamboat, and his teeth would uncover like the furnaces. And I1U BU1 t a dog might tackle him, and bully-rag j him, and bite him, and throw him over his J shoulder two or three times, and Andrew Jackson which was the name of the pup Andrew Jackson would never let on but what he wa8 satisfied, and hadn't expected nothing else and the bets being doubled and doubled on the other side all the time till the money was all up ; and then all of a sudden he wruld grab tho other dog jest by the jint of his hiud leg and freeze to it not chaw, you understand, but only jest grip and hang on till they throwed up tho ( sponge, if it was a year. Smiley always come out winner on that pup, till he harnassed a dog once that didn't have no hind legs, because they'd been sawed off by a circular saw, and when the J thing had gone aloug far enough and the J money was all up, and be come to make a j snatch for his pet holt, he saw in a minute ' how he d been imposed on, and how the other dog had him in the door, so to speak, and he 'peared surprised, and then he looked sorter discouraged like, and didn't try no more to win the fightj and so he got chucked out bad. He gave Smiley a look, as much as to say his heart was broke, and it was his fault, putting up a dog that hadn't no hind legs for him to take hold of, which was his main dependence in a fight, and then he limped off a piece and laid down and died. It was a good pup, was that Andrew Jackson, and would have made a name for himself if h'd lived : for the stuff was in him, and he had genius ; I know it, because he hadn't any opportunities to speak of, and it don't stand to reason that a dog could make such a fight as he could under the circumstances if he hadn't no talent. It always makes me feel sorry when I think of that last fight of his'n, and the way it turried out. Well, this yer Smiley had rat tarriers and chicken cocks, and all them kind of things, till you couldn't rest, and you could not fetch nothing for him to bet on but he'd match you. He ketched a frog one day and took him home, and said ho kal 'klated to edercate him ; and so he never done nothing for three months but sit in his back yard and learn that frog to jump. And you bet he did learn him to. He'd give him a little punch behind, and the next minute you'd sec that frog whirling J in the air like a doughnut see him turn one somerset, or maybe a couple, if ho got a good start, and come down Hat-footed and all right like a cat. lie got him up in the matter of catching fiics, and kept him in practice so constant that he'd nail a fly every time as far as ho could see him. Smiley said all a frog wanted was education, and ho could do most anything ; and I believe him. Why, I've seen hira set Dan'l Webster down here on this floor Dan'l Webster was tho name of the frog and sing out, "Flies ! Dan'l, flies !" and quicker'n you could wink he'd spring straight up and suake a fly ofFn tho counter there and flop down on the floor again as solid as a gob of mud, and fall to scratching the side of his head with his hind foot, as indifferent as if he ladu't no idea he'd been doing more than any other frog might do. You never see a frog so modest and stiaightfor'ard rt3 he was, for all he was so gifted. And when it Came to fair atid square jumping on a dead level, he could get over more ground at one straddle than any animal of his breed you ever see. Jumping on a dead level was his strong suit, you understand ; and when it comes to that Smiley would ante up money on him as long as he had a red. Smiley was monstrous proud of his frog, and well ho mjght be, for fellows that had traveled and been everywhere all said he laid over any frog that ever they see. Well, Smiley kept the beast in a little box, and he used to fetch him down town and lay for a bet. Ono day a feller a stranger in the camp he was come across hini with his box, and" says : "What might it bo that you've got in that box ?" And Smiley says, sorter indifferent like : "It might be a parrot, or it might be a can ary, maybe, but it ain't-it's ouly just a frog." And the feller took it and looked at it careful and turned it round this way and and thinking to himself and then he got the frog out and pried his mouth opeu and took teaspoon and filled him full of quail shot filled him pretty near up to the chin anu set him on the floor. Smiley he went down to the swamp, and slopped around in tho mud for a long time, and fin ally he ketched a frog and fetched him in and gave him to the feller, and says : "Now, if you're ready, set him alongside of Dan'l, with his forepaws just even with. Dan 1, and I'll give tho word." Theu he says, "One two three jump 1" and him and the feller touched up the frogs from behind, and the new frow hopped off, but Dan'l give a heave, and hysted up his shoulders sd like a Frenchman, but it wasn't no use he couldn't budge ; he was planted as solid as an anvil, and he couldn't no more stir than !f he was anchored out. Smiley was a good deal surprised aud he was disgusted, too, but he didn't have no idea what the matter was, of course. The fellow took the money and started away ; and when he was going out at the door he sorter jerked his thumb over his shoulders this way "I don't see no p'ints about that frog that's any better' n any VUI1VI Smiley he stood scratching his head and looking down on Dan'l a long time, and at last he says, 'T do wonder what in the na tion that frog throwed ou for ; I wonder if there ain't something the matter with him; he 'pears too look mighty baggy, some how." And he ketched Dan'l by the nap of the neck nnd lifted him up, and says I "Why blame my cats, if he don't weigh five pounds !" and turned him upside down and he belched out a double handful of shot. And then ho see how it was, and he was the maddest man you ever saw. He set the frog down and took out after that feller, but he never ketched him. A GHOST. BY DENNIS 6'KAFFERTV. The night was dark. And niver a sphark Of moonlight shone at all; But on the hill, The whippoorvrill Most dismally did shquall. Though not afeard, I thought I heard A noise bchint me house; So out I shlipt, On me toes I tipt As quiet as a mouse. Then a low boo-hoo! "Twixt tne and you, Kem from the garden fence. Och! me jints gev way C'n the ground I lay; I'm fable iver since. Oul.l Mike McGuiro, The woolen-dyer "Twas jist the day before Quite unavares; Fell down the sthairs, Aud died like many more. And this, his ghost, Wid stharin boast, Now occupied me lot; And I so sick, Widont a sthick" To make the villain throt. Thin I roared so loud I dhrew a crowd. And, boys, upon me sowl, They to the jrtaco Kepaired in haste, And found a big-eyed ovel! Each anxious lad Crieil out, "Too bad To schare poor Dennis so!" But 1 felt relayed, "NVhin I found me saved From a thrip to ghost-land low. tribulation, and again hoisted the howling monster up to the top. when the woman next door made another and more remark able discovery. Her pigs were in the jen. "What's that?" screamed the man, who was so fixed that ho could not very well see the pen, and was obliged to lift his voice to make himself heard above the din. "Then ain't my pigs' screamed tho wo man. "Why ain't they !' ho yelled. "'Cause my pigs arc here," she shrieked. It is needless to say that the strange ani mals were urged out of the garden without the use of subterfuge. Dtinbury Ncirs. mxxiso riGs. BEAUTIFUL ILLUSTRATION OF WOMAN' FAITH AND MAii's IMPETUOSITY. Lawyers' Manuscripts. A nice piece of manuscript, says the Nashville Union, was sent to this office lately. It was pre pared by the skillful hand of a member of the legal profession, and consequently its meaning was aa clear as mud. There were short marks here and long marks ' there,while dots, inksplashes, erasures, and things of that sort, were scattered about with reckless profusion. The paper re sembled a map of bleeding Kansas, a plan of out proposed new water-works, a pen aud ink sketch of the burnt district of Edgefield, or indeed, anythiug of that sort. Printers yearned for that manuscript the moment they saw it, and the ono who was given the largest portion of it was looked upon with envy by his follows. Finally one of them came to a couple of long words that he could not really decipher readily. Ho went out and borrowed a telescope, and looked again, but still failing to make out the two words in question, he propped his copy up at one end of the room, stood upon his head at the other, and viewed it in that position for awhile, but without success. Theu he carried tho copy to every man in the office, begging their as sistance, but none were able to help the unfortunate typo. Then he became des perate, pulled his hat down with a firm grasp, ignored the undecipherable entirely, and substituted therefor "copy-books ten cents etch," remarking confidently to brother comp., "Won t that chap swear when he reads his proof?" and he will,- of course ; but is there not something sug gestivo in the sentence substituted? If copy-books are only ten cents each, why should not every lawyer in the city purchase one immediately, and at once set about improving chirography ? "A Pleasant Day." The Danbury News says : Among the largo number gathered at the horse sale, Friday, was Col. II., who is, as our Danbury readers well know, very deaf. Alongside of him stood a young man, a stranger, engaged, as was the Colonel, in watching the sale. During a lull he turned to the Colonel and politely observed : "A pleasant day." The Col. saw the movement of his lips, but of course heard no sound, and not Wishing to lose what might be a matter of vital inter est, he said, "What's that?" "It is a pleasant day," repeated the young man, that, and says: "H'm 5 so 'tis. W ell suddenly realizing tne ureadiul lnsigniu- what's he good for?" cance of the statement. "I did not quite "Well," Smiley says, easy and careless, hear you," explained the Colonel, leaning "he's good enough for ono thiLg, I should forward with anxiety. The young man judge he can outjump any frog in Cala- turned very red, and looking as if he was veras county." about to descend iuto the bowels of the The feller took tho box again, and took earth. "I said it was a pleasant day," he another long, particular look, and gave it again stammered, raising his voice and back to Smiley, and says, very deliberate : shivering at the souud. The Colonel's "Well, I don't see no p'ints about that hand went up to his ear, "Really sir," he fro"- that's any better'n any other frog." said in a bland manner, "I am afraid you "Maybe you don't." Smiley says. "May- will have to speak a little louder." The be you understand frogs, and maybe you young man grew redder than ever. How dou't understand 'cm ; maybe you've had gladly he would have turned and fled ; how experience, and maybe you ain't only an bitterly he regretted not keeping the infor- amateur a it were. Anyways, I've got mation to himself. But the Colonel stood my opinion, and I'll risk forty dollars that waiting ; and raising himself by his toes, he can outjump any frog in Calaveras tho young man shrilly screamed : "It is a county." ' pleasant day." The Colonel heard this, An' tho fellow studied a minute, and and promptly coincided, and tho young then says, kinder sad like, "Well, I am man retreated amid the eueouraging smiles - T - i L . 1 1 onlv a 6tranger Here, ana i am i got no oi tue populate. fro" ; but if I had a frog I'd bet you." Two families in Slawson have bad expS rience somewhat similar to that of Mr. Co bleigli, several weeks ago. Thes families live in a double house, and each had a pen with two gigs. Last Friday the woman in one part discovered that her two pigs were free from their pen, and looking after geo logical specimens at tho foot of the yard. She also discovered at the same time that the gate to the cabbage yard adjoining was open, and that the pigs might at any moment lieComo ravished by a view of the glories within. Her husband being away, she hurriedly secured the gate and then set about to return the truants by the fol lowing ingenius plan : Taking a shovelful of corn, she approached as close to the an imals as possible, and holding the tempt ing morsel near enough for theni to learn its inviting character, she screwed her face iuto an expresssion of winning sweet ness, aud backed slowly toward the pen. It was a beautiful illustration of woman's faith, and wo regret to write that it did not work. The pigs took one snuff at the contents of the shovel, just to show that they took some interest in the matter, and, being convinced thereby that there was nothing injurious in the experiment, fell to rooting about-again with renewed fervor. The nearer the woman came to the pen the straighter her face grew, and presently lost every vestige cf solicitude, and as sumed instead an expression of medium ferocity. What she may have done will 1 never be known as at this juncture her husband made his appearance on the back stoop, and, her eye resting upon him, she ; commenced to apostrophize hfm in the i language married people alone are adepts at. After requesting somebody to show . him the idiot who had let those hogs out, that he might punch his head, he drove straight at the truants, and missed them of course. Then he drove at thcin again ! with a clothes pvle and missed them again, ' although he made another polo by hitting . that on a stone. Any one who has helped i to drive one or two piss will readily under- I ter before, but ho was A NA UTiL'AI. ANUCDOTlli The following iucidant was related years ago by an old veterau who served with Nelson at Trafalgar, and who was with Jack Shaw at the time spoken of. It may have been seen in print, as it is a matter of history, but that need not deter tne front relating it : Jack Shaw, an eccentric old skipper, had command of a Jamaica ship called Tlui Good Hope. It was A ship iu the last stags of Unseaworthiness, and about oh IU last voyage. She was pierced for eighteeil guns, and had once carried them ; but now she had only one solitary old iron car rouade on board, to be" used in caso of need, as a signal guu. It was during the ramp pge of Napoleon that Captain Shaw sailed from Jamaica to England with a cargo of rum. He entered the Englishchannel just tit dusk, and saw a tispicious-looking sail standing easily towards him. With a powerful night-glass he made the stranger out to be a Freuch corvette of twenty guns. "Boys," said Shaw, "that fellow is bound to overhaul us, and he'll succeed if ho tries. If you'll stand by me we'll play him a trick, and, perhaps, astonish him." The men, flve-and-thirty in number, en- tered into' the spirit of the pilut cheerfully and eagerly. The big old fashioned pumps were bro't up, and sawed into appropriate lengths to represent guns, and also a spare topmast was cut up and daubed with black paint. These dummies were run out at the fiorts on one side, and lumbered with side-tackle aud breeching enough to give them the appearance, in the gloom, of a stamping battery. There were old lanterns enough on board to afford ono for each log of wood, and, with lighted candles in them, they were hung up in the ports for Lattio Ian-" terns. This was on the starboard side. Ou the larboard side was the old carronadc, loaded to tho muzzle witii cartridge. When all was ready the Good IIopo hauled on the wind, and ran boldly along side the Frenchman. Tho carronade was) discharged to windward with a tremeudouM roar, and at the same time tho swinging ports were raised, displaying a formidable "row of teeth;" dimly illumined by the battle lanterns. And then old Shaw, from the horso block, yelled through an enor-1 mous brass speaking-trumpet : "Surrender, or I will Mow you out of water !" The utter audacity and boldness of tho movement succeeded. In the darkness of the night the Frenchman thought surely he had been overhauled by a powerful ship, and deeming himself at disadvantage, l.o surrendered. Capt. Shaw, leaving his own ship in charge of his chief officer, and cli- rectiug him to run straight for Plymouth And then Smiley Says, "That's all right, that's all right ; if you'll only hold my box a minute, I'll go and git you a frog." A missionary among she freedmcn in Tennessee, after relating to some little col ored children the story of Ananias and Sap- . . . . 1 A. i 1 lit. it 11 i I Vnd so the feller took tue dox anu put up j puira, rskcu uiem wny uou aoesnot swine j his forty dollars along with Suiiley's and everobody dead that tells a lie, when one of , set down to wait. j the least in tho room quickly answered, So he set there a good while thinking "Beeousc there wouldn't be anybody left." stand the number of articles that passed through the air, and the style of conver sation the man kept up during the chase. Finally he got one of the animals in a Corner, and being by this time utterly re gardless of personal appearance of conse quences, threw himself upon the brute, nearly seraping tho fence with the top of his head, and falling upon the pig in such a way as to hold in abeyance every one of his muscles except those iu the throat. These were at once pnt inactive operation, and the man for a moment, thought he had captured a planing mill. Theu he raised slowly, keeping a tight hold of the animal, and getting on his feet and the pig in his arms, struck out for the pen pro- ceded by his wife ar.d the other woman, ' and closely and anxiously observed by all of the neighbors for half a mile around. Iu this way tho procession laboriously moved, the pig having worked its head to within two inehes of the man's ear, and was pouring therein a tale of unparalleled woe, which was calculated to melt tho stoutest heart, the man was utterly jkw erless to remedy the horror, having both hands engaged, and could only twist his ear a little out of range, and scream at tho top of his voice his plans for the future of "them hogs." , On reaching the pen, and while in the act of dumping the howling viper over the side, the woman next door made au unfor tunate discovery. Their hogs were in the pen, the truants were hers. The man who was Mill holding the pig, and might have with reason, taken a prominent part in the debate, contented himself by merely ex pressing a hope that be might be hanged, j and then trudged around to the other pen, where he arrived after much looked for harbor before daylight ; and not until tho day had broken, anil the frowning guns of Batten and lhe bore full upon him, did the deluded Frenchman suspect the trick which had been played upon him. Jack Shaw had been a national charac- a hero now, and loud and lasting were the praises tiestowed upon him. Story of a Mary6villiax. A San Francisco paper says : They tell a story of a Marysville man-for the sake of his rel atives we withhold his name who is inor--dinatcly fond of buckwheat ckcs aud sau sage gravy, and who, whenever he camn across eithor of those dUhes at a table, never knows wheu he has got enough. t?omo time ago business called this gentle man to San Francisco, and he went to Sac ramento in his way. When he entered ona of the liottssS lii the morning to get his breakfast, on the bill of fare he spied his favorite dish and straightway the obedient waiter was seen traveling toward the kitch en for buckwheat cakes and sausage gravy. The man's appetite was keen, aud the buckwheat and gravy seemed extra go!. And four times did that waiter carry tho empty plates from the table to return with more buckwheat and sausage, before tho man finally cried enough. Notwithstand ing his breakfast, tho gentleman from Ma rysville managed to reach San Francisc and transact his business, and was again on his way home. He returned via Sacra mento, and, it seems unnecessary to state, went to the same hotel for his meal. Io sat down to the table and the samo waiter approached. He took one good look at him, to assure himself that it was his fr -mer customer, and then, without a wonT. walked back to the kitchen rrd bawled: "Buckwheat cakes and sausage gravy for six ; that old hog from Marysville is br.ck here again." A Georgian editor was bitten by a ? 'boiiij evidently mistaken for a bo it,"' V K
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers