if m m m m k3 i y .ieI V 'H i;di:or iinl I'ublKIicr. HE IS A FREEMAN WHOM TUB TRUTH MAKES FREE, AND ALL ARE SLAVES BESIDE li. A. Terms, $2 per year In advanc : w -ft I.U 63-3 I in: -3 1 Ei-J S-'d THE GREAT OAK HALL 3IP0IUUM! 241 Main Street Johnstown.' J, SEP & BROTHER IIAVi: NOW OX HAN!) Tlie Largest, Best Made Soek GF CfethiBg VI II Uli'T I V JOIIXSTOWJi, t,.,,.i,.;Ptr tlj" of y.vs bants. Ml-iX'S TESTS; ' ;!' '"-ATS. vuL'ths' pants. youths' vests; t ;v (i i.'.TS. i IS' IWNTS. BOYS VESTS ;t : ,vf r.V c rtantly in stock a complete tESI'UTPiIsiiii'G GOODS, Kr.ts, Caps, Trunks, Valises, &c. ; ' 'V. prepared to niiikc ti (ir''.cr C'lrufi . . :' . , .: -rriptiou i. n the sh-is-test not ice. fall at .1o. 4l Main Sit t el, .ND !:!: I'VY IT IS YtTRSKLYKS! : ...... frii J-'.I.-G-k.. fj !10.M A S C A R L A N I vn'!.i;sil.; rF.AI.ER IN SERIES 1 QUEENSYARF, WOOD AND VILLOW VVARF, ST.VTIONEKY AND NOTIONS, a salt, nm urn mm, RltO.V, FLOl'R, FEED AND PROVISIONS, Ctcvrntli Avenue. :;iAeen 13t!i and 14th Sts., Altoona. P'x's a Spice?, Brashes, "Wood I1 "w w ""e, SLoe Blacking ni;J Station :? Kc ?oM trom manufacturer's printed ' a'' other pooiii in my line at : "'::., v., RHlti'-iof;. Ciujcinriiiii and Pitts---'.h t.,.,dii pi .., 3. To jkaJcra 1 present the - ir iv.mtrrp 0f sa vins them all freight .e, si they are not required to pay r - !r..a the principal cities and no dray-;r-'-s fire uiude. Dealc-rd may rest as l';Vj',ut m r"-'-ds are of the best quality and tii.Mit-rute a-! city rates. By doing '.y V '0k,.7,i''.hn-:iie'?, and by promptly and j.iiy Liliiig all orders, 1 Lope to Hierit ; -i'r-.n 0f retuil dealers and others in 1.t.;;r,1l c"';';,,.v and elsewhere. Orders re- .ic tt J and paisfaction Guaranteed ' ' s . T ! I o r.i AS OAKLAND. "-. July 2!), IM-'j.-tf. "aSIILNGTON street, ':-fPa. R, R, Depot, Johnstown, Pa., "''";a?c awl Retail Dealejs in 'IlLUvriiv r.onns.' Vi-Ki'-.N'SWABE KOOTS N I ) SHOES. HATS AND CAPS. IP.ON AND NAILS, AND on. u nn-iiQ " i w !;'Ar)Y-MAI)E CLOTHING, VELLO W.WARE. "'JUUL.N AND WILLOW WARE. 'VlSIOiviSand F DjALL KINDS, ' ' "' "' rr, -ntier of Western Produce, .-. . ''''' HACON, I'JSU, SALT, 'J t-.e ami retail orders solicited ..r'.'"1"' P111 n the shortest notice and '-'-or.bie tri ms. W(jon. MORRELL L CO. J-'J c- K. AlIlT...., ...j AS. B. ZAI1M- ZAHrvl &, SON, IEALLHS IS HARDWARE. OUEENSWABF. ts,Caps,Boots,Shoes, ALL OTHER ARTICLES epi iia Country Store. Poland country produce lArnit IN EXCHANGE IOR COOD3 ! store on jiain street, Next Door to the Post Office, -. 1C9. EBENSBURO. TA. Ilk J. T T rVT . A. -r r p "wii, bucccour 10 xv. C5. t t!i, eah?r in Drugs, Medicines, '.,j'c" Store on Alain street, opposite 0J.ns,o House" Kbensburg, Pa. nTiTn nntr nnnrn 1L Dill liUUli GROCERIES 1871. Fall Trade. 1871. I am now prepared to offer SUPERIOR INDUCEMENTS TO CACH rCUCUASKRS OF HI. SIEEMBBI & COFPER MM. KITIIFR AT WHOLESALE OK RETAIL. My slock consists in part of every variety of Tin, Sheet-Iron, copter and hrass wares, KNAMEI.I.Ell AXI TI.A1N SAUCE-PANS, BOILERS &c ; COAL SHOVELS. MINE LAMPS, OIL CANS, IIOUSEEURNIS1IINC, IIABD WAUE OF EVEIiY KIND. flft'l Aiili-Dimt IIEATINr, and COOKING STOVES, FXCELSlOIl COOKIXG STOVES. NOi'.LE,TLTl.MPiI ant PAELOIi LOOK ING STOVES, Ar.d any C king Stove (Ic-irnl I will get when ordYred at manufactui er'.s prices. 0.1. 1 Stove Plates arA Grates, ivrc, fir re pairs, on hr.n.l fur the Stoves I f?fl ; others will be ordered when wanted. Particular attention given to Spouting, Valleys and Conductors, all of which will he made out of Lest mat., rials and put up ly competent werkfnen. Lamp Kurners. Wick and Cliixnneys wiinr k.sai r. oi: i:ktaii.. I would call partjoiihir nttenti"n to the Licrlil House Earner, wiih Glasr, C"ve, for giving moie lirht than any other in use. Also, the Paragon Burner, for Crude Oil. SUGAR KETTLES AND CAULDRONS I of all si'ja c Ji:.it.ntl v on hind. Special attention given to Jobbing n Tin, Copper anc Sheet-Iron at lowest possible rates. Wiioi.ksai.e Merchants' Lists now ready, and will be. sent on application by mail or in person n.iping to see all my old customers and m:my new ones this Spiing, I return my most sincere thanks for the very liberal pa tronage I hare already received, and endeavor to pleas? ail who may caii, wheth er they buy or cot. FRANCIS W. HAT. J. hnstown. March 7. 18C7. Nil TO CASH CUSTOMERS! at tibi: i:sii:.s!$i rg IIOKE-FPRiMSIIIXG STORE. The undersigned respecifull- infornis tlie citizens of Eben.-bnrK and the public gener aliy that l e has made a grea reduction in prices to CASH EUYEUS. My stock will k consist, in part, of Ciokivg, Parlor and Ueat iikj Stoves, of tlie most popular kinds ; 27i- j trare of every description, of my own man- j ufacture ; Hardware of all kind, sr.ch as Locks, Sciews, Butt Hinges, Table Hinges, Shutter Hinges, Bolts, Iron and Nails, Win flow Glass, Putty, Table Knives and Forks, Carving Knives ajjd Forks, Meat Cutters, Apple Parers, T;n and Pocket Knives in great variety, FtL-sors, Shears, Ilazors and Strops. Axes, Hatchets, Hammers, Boring Machines, Augers. Chissels, Planes, Com passes, Scpuares, Files, Uasps, Anvils, Vie-es, Wrenches, Kip, Panel and Cross-Cut Sa.rs, Cliains cf all kinds. Shovels, Spades, Scythes and Snaths, Rakes, Forks, Sleigh Bells, Shoe Lasts, Pegs. .Wax Bristles, Clothes Wiingers. Grind Stones. Patent Molnsses Gates and Measures, Lumber Sticks, Horse Nails, Horse Shoes, Cast Steel, Rifle?. Shoe Guns,. Jlevolwrs, Pistols, Cartridges, Pow der, Caps. Lead, &c , Odd Stove Plates, Grates and Fire Bricks, Well and Cistern Pumps and Tubing ; Harness awl Saddlery Ware of all kind ; W'.dtn and Willow Ware in great variety ; Carbon Oil and Oil Lamps, Fish Oil, Lard Oil, Linseed Oil, Lubricating Oil, Rosin, Tar, Glassware, Taints, Varnish es, Turpentine, Alcohol. &c. FAMILY GROCERIES, such as Tea, Coffee, Sugars, Molasses, Syr ups, Spices, Dried Peaches, Dried Applesl Fish, Hominy, Crackers, Rice and Pear Barley; Soaps, Candles: TOBACCO and CIGARS ; Paint, Whitewash, Scrub, Horse, Shoe, Dusting, varnish, Move, Clothes and Tooth Brushes, all kinds and sizes ; Bed Cords and Manilla Ropes, and many other articles at the lowest rate3 for CASH. fcf-IIouce Spoulinrr rva.de, pained and put up at low rates for cash. A liberal discount made to country dealers miying i in ware wholesale. G EO. H LLN TLEY Ebensburg, Feb, 28. 1867.-tf. Q.EORGE W. YEA G E II , Wholesale and Retail Dealer In HEATING AND COOK STOVES OF EVERY DESCRIPTION", Til. CUPPER 11 SHEET-IROld WARE OF HIS OWN MANUFACTURE, And GENERAL JOBBER in SPOUTING and all other work in bis line. Virginia Street, near Caroline Street ALTOOSA, PA, The only dealer in the city having the riffht to sell the renowned "BARLEY SHEAF" COOK S rOVE, the most perfect complete and satisfactory Ctove ever ,'iitroduced to the public Stock Immense. - Twces Low." SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. BAND LEADERS. Tot omthln interesting, fih! vonr nMrefs to UEOltGK V. UA l tO, l rmiklorl, . V , EBENSBTJRG, PA., SATURDAY, OCTOBER 14, 1871. Ejjc poet's gfparfmtnt. Xrtlnre's "YarloiW I.anguaSP " Inler Ircci Jy Ke.'teoit Alaiii. I love to brenthe the morning air With balmy odors freighted. When everj tiling seems lrcsh and fair, As if but just created. Its healthful draughts inspire my soul . With ,'vveetly solemn feeling Ho i John ! git up and feed them pig. And stop their condemned sque ding ! Above the rsi-ig sun. the clouds Float ust hie golden fleeces 1 he way wool lately has gone up, Reats Natur' all to pieces; Ten cents a pom d. mid 'now much higher 'Twill go there is no tellinir; It makes uie shiver when I think How near 1 was to selling 1 1 lie di.tmond dew-drors gem the grass I'm under a mistake, or That grass will cut at leist as much As i wo tons to the acre. 1 he eiover, wooed by droning bees Is ius.h niih lucent honey There is no sweeter scent, to me, Except the scent of money I Along the tinkling joeado-w brook The fiiury- i";:":t ia creeping. While hNperirig winds through vender wooJ, Unseen, ate sultlv sweeping. I pitied Wi.low Brown's hard lot he sr. tiered nnsny woef, sure; l'.:t her wood lot was might v chenp: I got it by l'oiec!o.-ure ! The happy birds, n tur cful noics, D.seoiii.-e meli'diMi.s piMise?; Speikiiig of nous, I wonrer why Jnke Thompson never p-ivj his! II J ':. b belts uie out ot thnt "3'will sliHke my fnith in Heaven! Just think of twenty live pr-r cent. Induced to paltry seven ! The ioin!; cows the milkers cdl, '! ho milk iMiiro l imbs are jumping I'll hiii:g the milk cuns 'round behind 1 he barn, and go to pumping ! For ":o!en wnters are most sweet'' Abide into factory cheeses As cons decline, my .short-horn pump Jt3 daily yield increases! The sen! mut be quite lost and dead. That canuot 2nd in Natur Siifticient cause t.j glorify '1 he bounteous Creator ! The clouds, the sky, the dewpread gras?. The pinging birds, the zephr Hullo ! what beast has broke in then? ' J is Jones's peky heifer. Cotfutind that tarnal heifer's hide ! I've a good mind to stone her; But that won't pay. I'll shut her up And sue her condemned owner ! No snswer toft shall turn my wrath, Nor canst ir.e to forbear. IIo ! John ard Jane! come hurry iu; 'Tis t'nio lor morning prayer ! Buf.'.t'o Couf.er. Frank Clivk. ADVENTURES OF A DETECTIVE. Many years ttgo, when western railroad travel vs not the safest in the world, and wlpn ail nioi:ejs du3 fioai the east in payment for western produce had to be stht in c:hh by the mails, there occurred, not far from Chicago each time, several accidents in confcq'iencc of trains being thrown oil' the track, during w hich tho mail cm s w ore broken open mid tho bags robbed to a very large amount. The riist of these accidents happened within six miles of the ''Garden City," and was coused by the Michigan Southern running into the IUino'i3 Central mail . train',' if I remember rightly, striking it at right sin gles, and not only cutting it info two parts, but making a wreck of both trains. The loss in every way was large, and the conductor and enpineer were killed on the spot the former lying with lo9 face upwards close to the mail car which, it was after discovered, had been forced cpen and the gold and silver it contained carried otf. Mr. l'inkerton, the great Western detective, who was then begin ning t i e of the Uioet remarkable and suc cessful careers known to police history, was sent for to investigate tha robbery, and be discovered upou the face of the dead conductor of the train the imprint of a nail head, such as was usually worn l7 English laborers in the soles of their heavy boots. He then examined the ground, and was lucky enough to find a complete imprint of the sole of the left boot, con taining a double row of nails, all of which were exactly like that on the conductor's face. He aIo made another important discovery that there were three nails wanting in tho impress on the oarlh, showing that three must be also wanting on the sole of the boot that made it. .Mr. l'inkerton'8 theory so far, was this that the robber was in so great a hurry to force open the mail car that he set his foot upon the face of the dead man without knowing if, and .thinking, no doubt, -that it rested cpon the earth ; and that one of the nails "hob nails,' he called them having started from the leather, was more prominent than the rest,, and so left its mark behind it, and with a secret clue for tho detective. Un fortunately, before Pmkerton cnriie on the ground, there had been so many people about that tho earth was trodden down hard in the neighborhood of the calamity, and he had no chance of tracing the hob nailed boot, and discovering its owner. He bnd made some important discov eries, however, during this difficult inves tifationvuJIe had found out that thoi robber, wh'oever be was, wore boots nailed with hob nails in a peculiar form round the soles, with three nails mllsing ; and that the boots were of English make, and the wearer of them, therefore, was proba bly an Englishman, and that the left boot had made the impression on the face of the dead conductor, and on the ground. This was all the clue that he bad to the robber ; but ine-;gre as it was. he did not despair of liuntjrrg down the cj larry. He d!d not believe, however, that the colli sion of the (rains was purposely caused, but that it was an accident, and that the robbery was a sudden eil inspiration on the part of the robber. Eighteen months passed away, and l'inkerton, always more or less on tlie watch, had well nigh forgotten the hob nailed boots, when one fine morning he received a telegraphic dispatch which summoned him to another accident, which had just happened on the same railroad, within twelve miles of the city of Chica go. On his arrival he found a great con course of persons, officers and men and passengers about the wreck, . and he im mediately ordered a rope to bo payeif out and guarded by the company's .servants while he made an fxaminaiion of the ground, and a search for t!:e hob nailed buots, if, by any chance, they might fig ured upon this scene also. He first ex amined the locality where the obstruction was placed that overthrew the train, and," to his great joy and surprise, there was the old boot mirk with the many hob nails rind a full impression also of the rij:ht loot. Of course he said nothing, but brgan to make detours in all directions to see if he could pick up the retreating trail. IIo thought it most likely fha mm would go boldly towards the ilinge- after he had laid his trap, and so hi hastened on till he came to a bit of grass leading to the main road on the heights j.bove. Here he stumbled upon tho footmark once more, and proceeded right and left upon line with this discovery, lie found the advanc ing fjot too. The grass, however, threw him off all further tiad. but he had proved that the same man who had a hand in the previous robbery had planned the present disaster also ; and, better still, that he came from and returned to the village. . Owing to some accident else where this train was late by several hours. It was an early morning train, and the design clearly was to throw it off the line and rob tlie mails, but it was defeated. Mr. l'inkerton remained privately in the village, putting up at thi chief hotel and passing tor a salesman of dry goods, for several weeks, making observations and notes. He soon knew everybody in (ho place, and had not been there a week before he began to suspect a man who was then absent, but who, when in town, stopped at the hotel where he then lodged. A short time afterwards he returned, and l'inkerton found that he was an English man, and began to look fr bis cioven foot. 15ut he did not wear it at the time he wai introduced to him, and l'inkerton reasoned that such boots as those hob nailed ones could only be in requisition in wet or dirty weather, and be began to pia thai it might rain. Fie kept a so- rnrn orwl ehr wutf'h unon lhf Erx'l sh- ! man, and followed him always when be could do so without detection. A fortnight passed away, and (he Eng lishman began to exhibit signs of great uneasiness and unrest. He was always fcin out at night and l'inkerton was al ways following him, and his f;jce was al ways turned toward the railroad, upon which he was sure to descend and make examinations of tlie road for about a mile and a half on both sides of the village. One dy he had received some letters from New York, and l'inkerton watched him more closely than usual. About a quarter of a mile from the village was a graveyard on a hill which commanded tha railroad, and at dark the Englishman set out toward this wild and romantic spot, and l'inkerton after him. The nieht was cloudy, but every now and then the moon broke out and lighted up the lovely pcenery. To l'inkerton's amazement, he climbed the fence of the graveyard, and sat there looking toward the village, so that his Vhadow" bad to hide himself. Presently he jumped upon a grave, and strode along towards the middle of the cemetery, with ririkerlorl still after him, behind the trees and grave-stones. He could hear bim muttering to himself and occasionally talking aloud, and, then he stole up to him as near as he dared, and managed at last to creep into a vaulted grave close to him, one of the side slabs of which had fallen down. The dew was heavy and the grass so surcharged with it that he was wet through ; but kept on listening, and final ly made out that he was reciting a solilo quy from Lord Byron's "Manfred," and occasionally gesticulating wildly to the moon. Was the man mad ? What . re morse had brought him here to verit itaelf in the terrible and dreadful lines of Man fred ? At last he pulled out his watch and.Jried to make out the lime. Then be jumped over (he feneo and ran down to the railroad. He was evi dently waiting for somebody. For whom? Time would shovy perhaps, for l'inkerton still followed him. Once he lost sight of him, then he fancied he heard voices, and hurried in the direction whence the sounds proceeded and. as ho gained upon them he found that his man was returning: So he skulked ngain, and the man went over to the churchyard: Here he stopped sev eral limes and listened. What had he been doing! Had he laid another trap for the overthrow of another train ? It was a dreadful thought ; and as it struck bim the due train was beard in (ho dis tance. On it came, and no one to warn the engineer of the possible danger. In another moment it rushed past them, and went lhuridering-on in the d:irknes3.. 1 hen with all his soul in his ears did the detective listen, expecting a crash every moment. IJut it was not r. ? The man watched it as it .fled past and then turned toward (he village, and l'ink erton followed him back to the hotel. Ho was all this time in secret conference with the superintendent of the railroad,' who lived near by. The ner.t day when Tink erton called on him, he showed him a let ter which he had received from some one who said he knew Ihe (jang (hat Lad thrown the Ia?t train over and that they wanted him to join them tlietr object being to cause more accidents before long He offered, for a consideration, to join them and become spy upon their actions for Ihe company. 1'itikerton advised the superintendent to employ the man. stipulating thai he should be allowed to come to the c dice while the confertne look piace, in order that he might see him and be able to identify him hereafter. lie hud no doubt in his own n;'md w ho Ihe man was. He felt sure he was the same man whom he had follow ed to ol'icn ar.d so long up hill and down dale, and into ihe very j uvs of death. And so it turned out. The man was en gngod by the superintendent, and was in correspondence with a clerk in the post of Flee in New York, who informed him whenever large sums were sent from that i Tlee west. This is a fact, however, that transpired subsequently when all was over w i:h this very smart man who was so fond of plaj ir g the spy. .Mr. l'inkerton found that there was another man also in league with the 'spy,' and that his work kept him chiefly in New ork. I'inkerlon now expected every day there would be a "smash-op'.' but under the pretence that the conspiracy called him to New York, the ''spy'.' left the west and was gone s long that l'inkerton re turned to Chicago. About three weeks afterwards he re ceived another dispatch to go immediate ly to the old station, his expectation being realized in another overthrow and robbery o.f the mail train. Ou his arrival he saw the same boot marks as in the former cases, and was now satisfied that he had got the real criminal for behold! he had returned to the hotel two days before the "accident" occurred, but he had the cun ning to be abed with another person all that night, that he might establish an alili in case be was suspected, lbit still there was no legal proof against him. The boots never showed themselves upon his legs, and Pinkerton even overhauled Lis room in search of them, but without ef fect. He found outt .however, that he had a pair of strong rind black-green lioots. which ho wore on rainy days, and l'in kerton resolved to lay a trap for him on the next wet day, which happened during the same week ths.t the "accident" took place. His trap was this: lie persuaded the superintendant to lay down fine red sand over all the paths to the oiiiee, and then to send for his spy, hoping that he would come in his hub-nails. They had not. long to wait ; for, expecting a payment of monies due to him for services not render ed, he came, wrapped up in a big coat, and having on those very boots that had been so long a mystery to the detective. This time there was no mistake. The red sand was pitted all over with the small pox of those tell tale boots, and now the reader will think there was nothing more to do but to arrest the man. Hut what proof was there against him ? Vivid circumstantial proof in abundance legal proof none at all. l'inkerton had taken tho precaution to make perfect, casts and drawings of the impressions in tho earth ; and if he could get those boots into his possession he might manage to sea re the owner into a confession. How ever, he resolved to get him over to Chi cago, under pretence of setting Iiim on the persons suspected of having a share in the late smash-up. In this he was succeerfj!, through the cooperation of the superintendent; and, strange to say, he carried his boots with . bim on the train. I'inkerlon now made up his ni'nd that he would have them by hook or by crook. So at a midway sta tion he got the conductor, who knew lha "spv," to invite him to take a drink with him.; and when ih-s.y were out together those boots in some quiet way found their way under l'inkerton's carriage seat. -On the arrival of the train at Ohicago, Pin kerton followed his man until they got into a quiet street, or.d then arrested him, charging him point blank with throwing over the two trains in question, and alsjj witlfthe robbery of the Michigan South em train sonie two years before. He shook in every limb, ttfrned ghastly pale, and in half an hour had mado a full confession of his crimes. He owned that be and a friend robbed the mail at the collision between ths Illinois Central and Michigan Southern, and said th.at they' went to Europe and spent the money in eighteen months, when thoy returned, de signing to make a regular trade of throw ing trains off the track and robbing the mails. lie, was tried, convicted and sen tenced to the Jacksonville penitentiary for life, where he died after an imprisonment of more than ten years. Such, as near as I can remember the facts, is the story of these infamons trans actions There is not a word exaggerated, although I am pretty sure that I may be j inexact in some of the minor details. . And who was she criaiioal ? What was the name of the wretch who could (hus harden his heart to destroy his fellow crea tures wholesHle for the sake of a few thou sand dollars ? Header, h.j was a nnton.! son of Lord IJyn-n, and called himself George Gordon Augustus l'.yron. His mother is sHjj to have been a Seotch lady, Ii'mgin Edinbt-rouh at the time i f his biith, and a Stewait by Xi.me. His ac complice was a nephew of Sir Charles Napier. There is no doubt about t fie truth cf tlie story. 31r. I'inkerlon is w-'l known all ever thi continent, and in trie capitals of Europe, as a Sort of Police Napoleao, who never I-ist any great case lie under took, and whose talenls are only cq railed by his integrity. It was he who always recovered the monies stolen from theAd ams Express company, and who raved President Lincoln's life during bis memo ruble journey to Washington, rind it was (ho same great detective who, wh-.-tj yet. a young man, woiked up this Prou case. A". Y. Zcaiua Hat. JosIi Hillings I'ndrr Oath. Josh I3ii!ings being du'y sworn, teslihs az follers : . . Eight vor.t go into G and hav mutch ov enny thing left over. M-nny a 3 m g fellow haz found out this sum in arthme ticks bi Hieing tew git a number 8 foot into a number G bot. , V.iileu, in one respekt, is like munny. That which we hav tew work the hardest fur sticks tew 113 the best. I have often herd thare was men who knew more than they could tell, but i ' never met one. I hav often met tl oze who could tell a grate deal ruore than they did kno, and waz willing tew svvare to it besides. Hope haz a grate menr.y blunders, but thare iz one thing about her that I ahvus did like she means well. Sum people are good simply bekause they are tew lazy lo be wicked, aad oth ers, bekause they hant got a good chance. Thare is one thing that i am not only certain, but proud ov thare u more peo; p!e in this world who hav changed lroui bad to good, than from good to bad. In munny, interest pholiows the princi pal ; in morals, principle often phollows the interest. Yu will cotis one thing the devil scl dum ofl'ets tew go into partnership wiih a bizzy man, but you will ificti see hiiu oiler tew jine the lazy man, and furnish all the kapital. I dont kno, nfler all, but iz jist about uz well tc.v git abuv yure bizzness as it is tew have yure bizznes git abuv yu. "In time ov peace prepare for war." This iz the way sum familys liv all the time. Whenever yu hear a man who alwus wants tew bet hiz '"bottom dollar,',' yu kan make up your mind that that is the size o his pile. The devil is the only individiai on re kord w ho iz said not to possess a single virtew. Thare iz nothing that a man will git so sick of ar too much niolussis. The vices w hich a man kontrackts in liiz you'.h, however much he may shake them oph, will often call on him thru life, ami seek tew renew biz acquaintance, Every man has hiz pholiys, but thare iz this, difference in the poor man Ihey look like crimes, while in the ritch man, they only appear tew be exsentiicitys. OM age inkreases us in w isdom, and also in rum.tlism. 1 kno lots ov pholks who are plus jist bekause they waz bc:n so. They kant tell when they got religion, and, if they should loze it, they wouldn't kno it. We never outgro our phollys we only tdter them. . Thare i ui.Terence between chari ly iirjd a gift charily cams from tlie heart; a gift from the pocket. Coquets are generally too sil'y to be very wicked Thare iz full as menny pholks in this world who have Ljn ruined hi kindness az thare iz who hav bin injured by kruelt:. The man who iz wicked cnuff tew be dreaded iz a safer man in community (ban the one whoiz just virtewous enut? net to bo suspektcd. - Flattery i the v.ust kind of lieing. Ilvpocracv is alwus humble. Gravity don't prove "tiny thing If a I rr-aii i3 icn!l7 wiz he don t need and if lie ain't wize, he shouldn't hav it. It iz jist '7. natral tew be born poor az 1 it iz tew be born naked, and it is no more disgrace. Thare iz no excuse whatever for the insolen-o 07 wealth ; thare may possibly be for the insolence ov poverty". Laz3-ness iz the fust law ov natur ; self preservashun i the second. Yu kant konvert sinners bi preaching the gospel tew them at half price. Enny sinner who iz anxious tew git lii religion in that wav, iz satisfied with a poor arti- kle. A". 1'. Wccll'j. Too Ti:t K. ! Josh Hillings, in describ ing the horso fair of the PdlinssviMe Ag ricultural Society, remarks, very justly : There were two joke of oxen on the p'r'ound, several yoke of sheep, a pair cf carrots, and some worsted woil; ; but they didn't seem to attract any sympathy. Tbi people seemed to hanker for pure agricultural hcrsetrots.'' Alas for the frailty of human nature! We co'ifess a weakness for "agricultural horsetrots," too, and we are veiy far fiom beinan exception to the general rule. NUMBER 36: i tutrix IJU'IIOTKR. Darwinism is a mere ape ology for sci ence. That's what it is. And its re new (hir-n. under ihe sun It has berr. 'resented in a great variety if forms by all the authors of ehi'dren's primers. fr ; Mother G use roEdwanl Ear. Eur i stance, witness the following ancient ex position of it ; "The muiiev minied the hat.e.nn's sifter. Smirked his lii. :id then be kiscd her, k ssed so hard he ruired a blister fche sot up a e!l." This is a touching incident in the beau -tifnl pr cess of transition frcm worm to Wallace from dirt to Darwin. The in termarriage between correlated fiiniilies : Ihe reciprocal attachment so interesting to the thoughtful mind; the pa'.hetic piehm inary of osculation ; ihe cuticular accident of veseication : his fervency ; her coy af fectation of displeasure all, all point with unerring finger to the mysterious ori gin and solemn destiny of man. Again,' observe ti e continuance of ibis resem-. bianco, as shown in the same ff.mi'.ar poem : Rridegrr-om s'uek on some court plaster; Stuck .j-.o last it couldn't sti.k bielir; O, it wag a ad dis iM r Rut it S'jon got well." Here you are again. These be human parsions, affections, .'.mictions. . We pea the praiseworthy solicitude of ihe bride-, groom; the faithful constancy of (hei court plaster ; and behind all, cunr.ingly suggested rather than stated, the unrom plaining patience cf the young wiTe . Thr'n the slew recovery. Put we musA not linger : 'What d'ye !hink the biMc was drest in? AVhitc gauze veil amj-reen e.laS3 breastpin; She did look quire intere-tin ': iShe wa .-juite a belle." The scene is changed. The cohesive emoiient has been removed ftom tin? si-, luted lip Tho bride, though of Simian origin, betrays the divine symbol of her sex the taste for decoration. She rob s her lovely form in transparent, gossaruar, revealing by concealing. She orpauierits her undulating b'K-t with a sapphire can I jost the way they do now.. Is it not sulfkiently obvious that the author of this understood the great principle of natural selection and the survival of the fihiisi. as it is now explained by Darwin, Hux ley and the rest ? Put, on r.rriving at the blunt termina tion of the affecting stanzas, it occurred to us that they were incomplete that they were, as it were, rudimentary so, we handed them over to our ingenuous office boy to finish according to the evolu tion theory. He pulled up his shirt col lar, rolled up his eyes and his sleeves, spasmodically seized a sheet of paper, an I wended his winding way along after the folio w-ing fashion : What d you think occurred pnon arter? Fiist a son ar.d then a darter ; And they kept a grawing smarter 'Cordic to the law. Lost their taili and found their knowledge; I'm 011 clothes and went to college; Studied science and zoolidge Wagged a classic j iw. One rcmomoered his '-poor relation," Then he printed a narration, All about his derivation From Irs erandmamma. , Thus much the boy. Then he fainted dead away, like Prof.. John Tyndall, F. II. S., when be surmounted the highest peak of the Matlerhorn. We dragged the youth to the sink and sprinkled bim with the water the "form-j" had bathed in, and he sadly opened his eyes. "How are you I" said we. To .which vehement !j' the lad replied : "Walter Whitman ain't no poet. lie - never caught nothin'. from the Mu3C3 Yrpt the St. Vitus's, dance." We let him warble cn," seeing that his mind was wandering. Put hero are our subsequent meditations : "Dar win is ri"ht. The book of nature is now Perspicuous. We are what we are, be cause the monk?y" married the baboon's sister." REAtTTiFet. Iisf.Lasd. We all know, of course, that Ireland is called the Emerald. Isle," ami that the color of the emerald .13 green, but river had it en'ered cir imagina tion that there was anywhere in this world to be seen sv.ch verdure, as it charmed our "eyes to look upon in the mral districts of Ireland. Tl:e b'01 is, the knulls, the deli-',' the fields tf young, grain, over which tho bref? creeps like the playing spirits of the, beautiful; tho pastures, doited ever with sheep of purett wod ; tho hillsides, rising up into ni't i-hrood .mountains, are all covered with thick cartas of smooth velvet But Iieland thoiild also bs called Plowery fila. Tin-re is not a spot ia Inland. I be lieve, w hern blessed nature can find an ex-, cuse fir putting a flnvcr, but Ehe hii cue not only ii: tie gardens aud meadows, bst upon the veiy walls aud crags of the s-a, from the great, blooming rhodcu. Irons do 11 to the fcruiiKest flowrtt that modestly peeps from its grassy cover. The Irish fuize. s richly yellow, corcrs ail places that might otherwise be bare and b.trrer; ; the silk wonn delights every where, from thousands f tre-,, to "drop i's web of gold ;" the blooming hawthorn, with the sweet-scented pmk.-nnrr especU'liy tho w hite va'iety. adorns '.tie la' t tc tpe and the .gardens ; wall flowers f ev y variety c'aral.cr to hide the har.-hnc. of ih mural su- ports; tho beetled cliffs if 'he North Sea ,are fiinged and Eofteued w.'h lovely tliwers. and if you kneel anywheev alm'oi-t on the yielding, velvety carpet, you will find little, well nigh invisible wre-. rel, w hite, bine and yellow, wrought in I' the very woof and Ux'ure. Ireland ought to be called tho Beautiful Isie The spirit, of the beautiful hovers over and touches to liviug loveliness every pdut. Tiifrk are now SO.Oio post-t fliees in the Uuitcd S atis, aud more a comu . f
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers