! am m 1 mi i i i ' "'' TIi5 Cleverest Snllre of llie Day. Coimoqnfnrrii of Horn reely's Elec tion to (he l'resitfeiicy. Tho following burlesque account of the result of Horace Greeley's election to (he Presidency first appeared in the Philadel phia Sundoy Disjxitch, and is the Lest thinj of the kind we have ever read ; Yon a-k me to tell you, mj children, of the events which immediately preceded the destruction of the once great American Union, and the capture of the conntry by its present European rulers, and to cay some thing of the causes which led to these de plorable results. I undertake the task with a heavy heart, for when I revert that terri ble time, I cannot help contrasting our proud condition up to that year with 'the hnmilat ing position occupied now by the American people. The story is a short one : In the fall of 1372, Horace Greeley, the editor of a newspaper in New York, was elected Presi dent of the United States. The people voted for him because they thought he was an hon est man. And so he was. But he was also vaia and weak, and he entertained certain fanatical and preposterous notions about agricultural matters, fur instance which he was determined to force upon tho people at all hazards, and despite all opposition. lie believed, among other things, that every man ought to go to the West to earn his bread, aud long before he was chosen Presi dent ho used to advi.se everybody to move to that regiou as a cure for all diseases that could befall tho human family. Ab soon as he reached the Executive Man sion, which we used to call the White House, I' resident Greeley organized au army of 200, O'J 3 men, and proceeded to diive the entire population of the seaboard cities westward at tho point of the bayonet. The utmost violence was cssd. Those who resisted were ehot down, and their dead bodies wire car ried off to a national factory which the Pres ident had established for making some kind of fantastical fertilizer. All the large cities of the east were depopulated, and the tow ns were entirely empty. The army swept be fore it millions of men, women and children, until the vast plains west of Kansas were reached, when the pursuit stopped anil the army was drawn up in a continuous line, with orders to shoot any one who attempted to visit tho east. Of course hundreds of thousands of these poor creatures perched from starvation. This seemed to frighten President Greeley and he sent a message to Gongross recommending that seven thous and volumes of his book entitled, "What I know About Farming," thonld be voted for the relief of the starving sufferers. This was done, and farming implements and seeds were supplied, and theu th millions of wretched outcasts made an eff jrt to till the j ground. Of the result of this I will speak further on. In the meantime the President was doing infinite harm to tho country in another way. ins nanciwriung was so learluliy and won derfully bad that no living man could read it. And so he sent his Grst auuual message to Congress tho document was devoted wholly to the tariff aad agriculture a seu teuce appeared which subsequently was as certained to bo "Large cultivation of ruta baga and beans in the only hope of the American nation, I am sure." The printer not being able to interpret this, put it in the folio wing form, in which it went to the world : "The Czar of Russia could not keep clean if he washed himself with the whole Atlantic ocean a day !" This perversion of the message was immediately telegraphed to Russia by the Russian Miuister, aud the Czar was so indiguant that he immediately declared war. Just at this time President Greeley undertook to write a letter to Prince Bismnrk upon the subject of the potato rot, and after giving his views at great length, he concluded that if the Emperor William said that rubsoil plowing was not goo 1 far light soils, or that guano was bitter than bone dust, he was "a liar, a villain and a slave!" Of course the E nperor also lnmediately de clared war, aud became" an ally of Russia and England, against which latter country Jlr. Greeley had actually begun hostilities already, because the Queen, in her speech from tho throne, declared the Tribune's ad vocacy of a tariff on pig iron incendiary, and calculated to disturb the peace of nations. Unhappily this was not the full measure of our disasters. Tho Piebideut had sent to the Emperor of Austria a copy of his book. "What I know," etc.. with his autograph upon a fly leaf. Toe Emperor mistook the signature fr a caiicattire (!f tho Austiian eagle, and lie readily joined in the war against the United State, while France was provoked to the same act by the fact that whan the French Minister came to call upon Mr. Greeley to present his credentials, the Presi leut, who was writing an editorial at the time, not comprehending the French lan guage, mistook the embassador for a beggar, and, without looking up, handed him a quar ter and an order for a clean shirt, and said to him. "Go West, young man go West!" So all theso nations pined in making war upon the United States. They swooped down upon our coasts and landed without opposition, for those exposed portions of our unhappy conntry were absolutely deserted. The President was afraid to call the army away from Kansas at firt. for fear the out raged peoph upon the plains would come east in spite of Lira. But nt hut he did summon the army to his aid. and it moved to meet tho enemy. It was to late. Before the troops reached Cincinnati the enemy had seized Washington, and the country east of Ohio, and had hung the President, the Cabi net and every member of Congress. The rmy disbanded in alarm, aud the invaders moved to the Far West, where they found the population dyiug or starving, because they had followed the advice of Greeley's book, to "try for our Crst crop to raise limrs; and dn t plant more than a bushel of quick lime in a hill !" Of course these wretched people were at the mercy of the enemy, who to his credit be it said treated thetn kind ly, fed them and brought them back to their o'd homes. You know what followed how Prince Frederick William of Prussia ascend ed the American throne, and the other hu miliations that ensued. It was a fearful blow at Republicanism a blow from which it can never recover. It made ns who were freemen, a nation of slaves. It was all the result of our blind confidence in a misguided old man. who thought himself a philosopher, but who ws actually a fjo?. May heaveu preserve you, my children, from the remorse I feel when I remember that I voted for that fcucohc old editor. For the benrfit of all the postmasters at the railway ft&tions an exchange says : We snggest to those persons who are ia the habit of mailing their letters at the trains, that they take a little pains to go to their post-office instead for the next six months, lhe salaries of the offices are to be regulated by the number of Mamps cancelled durin the comiug six mouth. The route agents do not recive any benefit from letters mailed on their cars, but whatever adds to the Post masters cow. puts money in their pockets .hereafter. A loan in Parnet, Vermont. Ix-asla of bavins read the New Testament through sixty five times within ten years. II O M A S CARLAND; WHOLESALE DEALER IK GROCERIES I QUEENSWARE WOOD AND WILLOW WARE, STATIONERY AND NOTIONS, FISH. SILT, imi EIE3 Mt&IS DACO.V, FLOUR, FEED AND PROVISIONS, 1323 Eleventh Avenue. Between 13th and 14th Sts., Aftoona. All such goods as Spices, Thrushes, "Wood nad Willow Ware, Shoe Blacking mid Station ery will be sold Irom manufacturer's printed price lists, and all other poods in my line at Philadelphia, Baltimore, Cincinnati and Pitts burgh purreot prices. To dealers 1 present the peculiar advantage of saving them all freight and drayuge, as they are not required to pay freights from the principal cities and. no cray age charges are made. Dealers may rest as sured that cay goods are of the best qualitr and my prices as moderate as city rates. By doing a fair, upright busiuess, and by promptly and satisfactorily filling all orders, I hope to merit the patrt tiage of retail dealers and others m Uanibna county and elsewhere. Orders re spectfully solicited and satisfaction guaranteed in all cases. THO.MAS UAKLAM). Altoona, July 21), 8C9.-tf. 7 GOD, 310KKELL fc CO., WASHINGTON STREET, Near Pa. R. R. Depot, Johnstown, Pa., Wholesale and Retail Dealers in mm Ml DOMESTIC Wi mil ''911 LUXURY GOODS, HARDWARE. QUEKNSWARE. BOOTS AND SHOES, HATS AND CAPS, IRON AND NAILS. CARTETS AND OIL CLOTHS, READY-MADE CLOTHING, GLASS WARE, YELLOW WARE. WOODEN AND WILLOW WARE, PROVISIONS and FEED, ALL KINDS, Together with nil manner of Western 1'rodnec, such as FLOUR. BACON, FISH, SALT, UA Is Is ON OIK, &.C., 4c. E2? Wholesale and retail orders solicited and promptly filled on the shortest notice and most reasonable terms. WOOD. 1IORRELL & CO. GEO. O. K. ZAHM , JAS B. ZAHAI ZAHM &L SON, DEALERS IN DRY GOODS, GROCERIES, HARDWARE. QUEENSWARE, Hats,Cap3,Boots,Skoes, AND ALL OTHER ARTICLES Lr8imlly Kept In a Country .Store. WOOL AND COLLNTHY FKODUCK TAKEN IN EXCHANGE FOU OOOUS ! STORE ON MAIN STREET, Next Door to the Post Office, June 10, 1SG9. KBEXSBURG. PA. OOK WELL TO YOUR l'AIli:um.DIAGS ! BOOTS AND SHOES For Plei.'a and Hoys' Wear. The undersigned respectfully informs his nu raerous customers and the public generally that he is prepared to manufacture BOO 1 S and SHOES of any desired size or (junlitv, from the finest French calfskin boots to' the coarsest brogan. in the teky best maxxee, on the short est notice, and nt as modeiate prices us like work can be obtained anywhere. Those who have worn JJoots and Shoes made at my establishment need no assurance as to the superior quality of my work. Others can easily be convinced of the fact if they will only give me a trial. Try and be convinced. tW Ret airing of Roots and Shoes attended to promptly and in a workmanlike manner. Thankful for past favors I feel confident that my work and prices will commend mo to a con tinuance and increase of the same. JOHN D. TII011AS. Ebensburg, April i8, l(t;9. VM. P. PATTON, Slamiracturer icl Dealer In AM, KINDS OF CABINET FURNITURE 'om. ISO rikI ir2 linloii Street, joirxsToirx, rA. Unrean.o, Tteitcaris, Washstands, Sideboards, Chamber Sets, 1'arlor Sets, Warrln ilies. Hook Cases, Lonmres. ic, &c, &c, ic, A EVKltY Cain Ctiairs, Wood Seat Chairs, Kitchen Furniture, lied Lounges, Mattresses, Tete-a-Tetcs, Kx tension Tables, IMnintr Tables, llllwil.ld e., &c., &c ic, &c, &c &c. KESCUIITIOX OP SCHOOL AND HALL FURNITURE made to order in excellent style and at low prices. Cabinet and Chairmakers' materials of oil kinds for sale. Furniture delivered ut ny point in Johnstown or at Hailroad Station free of extra chaise. WJ. 1'. PATTON. Johnstown, Oct.13, lST0.-tf. EgE'rS" "tea O Ej 53 w K j . -53 o elb 3: an ( 2 HI TOP fP -?tr GREAT WESTERN GUN WORKS. ItillCM, Uuubl nnd SiDIft liarrrl. hluit GitiM, IieniUvr AmmunUivu. Sportiii-rfirKUifle JS n rela, Locks. Mount ing t.un .M.HcriHlM. Ac K.n.l for a Price Lir. dd rcss J. II. J( H XSTON, (ireat Wexttr,, flml 1 ';. SouthtleM Str.-et, Pittsburgh. Pa, 5- N. It. mi y ribirns Iiifies and Kcvol rer bought or tmdci for. Pittbutkli. J ii no 17, PTl.-Bsn, 1871. Fall Trade. 1871. I an now prepared to offer SUPERIOR INDUCEMENTS TO CASH PURCHASERS OF Tii. sieihm & mm m ElTIlEIi AU' WHOLESALE OK RETAIL. JTy stock consists in part of every variety of ' Tin, Sheet-Iron, COPPER AND BRASS WARES, KNAMKI.T.KD AND PLAIN SAUCE PANS, BOILERS fee , COAL SHOVELS, II INK LAMPS, OIL CANS. IIOUSEFUBXISMIXG HARD WARE OF EVERY KIND. Fpeai's Antt-Dn.t HEATING and COOKING STOVES, EXCELSIOR COOKING STOVES. NOBLE, TRIUJiril and PARLOR COOK ING STOVES. And any Cooking Stove tlesirod I will get when ordered at manufacturer's prices. Odd Stova Plates and Grates, &c, for re pairs, on Land for the Stoves I sell ; others will be ordered when wanted. Particular attention given to Spouting, Valleys and Conductors all of which will be made out of best mate rials and put up by competent workmen. Lamp Burners, Wick and Chimneys WllOI.ESAI.K OR KKTAir I would call particular attention to the Light Iloue Burner, with Glass Cone, for giving moie light than any other in use. Also, the Paragon Burner, for Crude Oil. SUGAR KETTLES AND CAULDRONS of all sizes constantly on hand. Special attention given to Jobbing in Tin, Copper and Sheet-Iron. at lowest possible rates. Wholesale Merchants Lists now ready, and will be sent on application Dy man or in person Hoping to see all my old customers and many new ones this Spring, I return my most sincere thanks for the very liberal pa tronage I have already received, and will endeavor to please all who may call, wheth er they buy or not. FRANCIS W. HAY. Johnstown. March 7. 1867. RE AT Reduction in Pi; ices TO CASH CUSTOMERS! at tii ie i:i:.vsiii nc; 1 L iiiiiunimi OIVHL The undersigned respectfully informs the citizens of Ebensburg and the public gener ally that he has made a great reduction in prices to CASH BUYERS. My stock will consist, in part, of Cooking, Varlvr and Meat ing Stoves, of the most popular kinds ; Ti?i ware of evorv description, of my own man ufacture ; Hardware of all kind, such as Locks, Soews, Butt Hinges, Table Hinges, Miutter Hiuges, BoltF, Iron and Nails, Win dow Glass. Putty, Table Knives and Forks, L-arvmg Knives and rorks, JMcat Cutters Apple Parers, Pen and Pocket Knives in great variety, Scissors. Shears, Razors and Strops. Axes, Hatchets. Hammers, Boring Machines, Augers, Chissels, Planes, (km passes, Squares, Files, Hasps, Anvils, Vises, Wrenches, Rip, Panel and Cross-Cut Saws Chains of all kinds. Shovels, Spades, Scythes ana bnattis, Kakes, rorks, Sleigh Bells, Shoe Lasts, Pegs. Wax Bristles, Clothes Wringers, Grind Stones. Patent Molasses Gates and Measures, Lumber Sticks, Horse Nans, Horse Suoes, Cast Steel. Rifles, Shoe Guns, Revolvers, Pistols, Cartridges, Pow der, Caps. Lead, &c. Odd Stove Plates, Grates aud Fire Bricks, Well and Cistern Pumps and Tubing ; Harness and Saddlery Ware of all kind ; Wooden and IMlloio Ware in great variety ; Carbon Oil and Oil Lamps, ri.sn kju, j.aru vju, ijinseeu un, LiiioricatiEE Oil, Rosin, Tar, Glassware, Paints. Varnish es, Turpentine. Alcohol. &c. . FAMILY GROCERIES. such as Tea, Coffee, Sugars, Molasses, Syr ups, topices, Dried reaches. Dried Applet Fish, Hominy, Crackers, Rice and Pear Barlev: Soans. Candles: TOR A PC ft n.l CIGARS ; Paint, Whitewash, Scrub, Horse, Mioe, Ousting, Varnish, Stove, Clothes and looth lirushes, all kinds and sizes; Bed Cords and Manilla Rones, and mnv ntVmr articles at the lowest rates for CASH". ftO-House Snautina mads, nam Nrvl nrwl nn un at low rates for cash. A libprl ilismnni made to country dealers buying Tinware wholesale. (JEU. HUNTLEY Ebensburg, Feb, 28. 1867.-tf. Q.KORGE Yr. YEAGEll, Wholesale and Itelall Dealer In HEATING AND COOK STOVES OF EVERY DESCRIPTION". III. COPPER M SHEET-IRGI If All OF HIS OWN MANUFACTURE, And GENERAL JOBBER in SPOUTING and all other work in his line. 4 Virginia Street, near Caroline Street AL.TOOAA, IA, The only dealer in the city having the right to ben me renowned "OAltJt l alllfiAF COOK S TOVE, the most perfect complete and satisfactory Stove ever "ntroduced to the public Stock Immense. - Tiuces Low. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. LANE MOTHERS, erccEssoRS to IS. WOLFF, Jr., & CO., Importers and Dealers in At thf flirt Wnll LnAti'ti etAnJ " ua.jvfnx4 DIU1IU4 - Cor. Liberty & Sixth (late St. Clair) Sts. Are now rocoivinpr a f nil assortment of Hard ware tor the tall nnd wiuter trade. ur recent tire hnv niFrl(nti.m'Ai am ...... - - - v v. un vm 1U1 U1LT MUCK, we are enabled to offer an oi., ENTIRE NEW 17IXE nV nnniiR FororiT at present pnrcES, anfl which we are Prepare to sell at the lowest possi l.lo rntH. pecal aticnticn cnll.1 Ihitt lSuxltlcm' IJanln-are, wi "ri ana lilnckHmittm' Tools AvrlrnUural J mi,u ment!, limine htrniHhivu fi1. 2at,tr ani ptHskct H,frj, Meat Cvtter, Slciuh licVU, &e. nnd parties havuijr orders for poods in otir lfno: fl 1 1 1 w hi ni'tiln To. ... . i . V . V . niaucd to all UealerS deslrint'it. .endforonel ux.lO.--.'m.l Animal Teaching. Wo have all witnessed in our lime, pays Land and Water, the astonishing performance of certain animals, birds, nnd risbes whicb were trained for the purpose of exhibition ; but (he majority of tlitse, though they served toprove the possibility of a higher training and a more useful one, jet in themselves they exhibited a la men table amount of waste power. Long years before the American RaN rey's name was heard as a 4 'horse tamer,' a secret existed, as a family heirloom, among a sect of the O Sullivans in lhe south of Ireland. This family was known as The Whisperer?," and they possessed the power of rendering as quiet as a Iamb the most stubborn and unman aj;euble horse that ever existed. Wheth er they did anything mote to the horse than breathe into his nostrils, we know not; but by doing this and by kind sooth ing, and other ways known to themselxe they effected their purpose and nt incd fame, l'utling the question of drugs, or other stimulants, or other fascinating means aside, and coming to the point of pure and unadulterated domestication and teaching, perhaps there was not one per son in modern times achieved so much success in animal teaching as S. liissctt. This man was an humble i-hoc maker. He was born in Scotland in 1721, but he afterward removed to London, where lie married a woman who brought him some property ; then turning broker, he accu mulated money until the rear 17o9, when his attention was turned to the training and teaching of animals, birds and fishes. He was led to this new studv in reading an account of a remarkable horse-show at a fair at St. German b. Ii?SPtt bought a horse and dog, and succeeded beyond his expectations in teaching them f-j poifirm various feats. He next purchased two monkeys, which he taught to dance and tumble on a rope, and one would hold a candle in one paw and turn the birrel organ with the other, while his corops n ion danced. He next taught three cats to do many wonderful things, to sit before music-book?, hnd squall notes pitched to difFerent keys. He advertised a '"Cat's Opeia" in the Haymarket, and success fully carried out his programme, the cats accurately fulfilling all their parts, lie pocketed some thousands by these per formances, lie next taught a leveret, and several other speciei of birds, to spell the name of any person in company, and to distinguish the hour of the day or night. Six turkey cocks were next ren dered amenable to a country dance, and, after six months teaching, he trained a turtle to fetch and carry like a dog, anil, having chalked the floor and blackened its claws, he made it trace out the name of any given person in the company. One of the good things in Artemus Ward's buck is a serio-comic conversa tion which puzzled a female teacher in a steamboat cabin. We quote : "Pardon me, madame, but do you know that glorious sunlight in Greece is constitutional that is to say, if early be tho dream of youth when they are so and you know, I presume, that George Washington when young never told a lis that is, Greece in the Hue skies, I mean. You understand me, of course ?" "Do I understand you to say that George Washington went to Greece in his youth V she asked. "I think that I do not perfectly understand you." 'I was about to remark," says he, "that so far as Greece was concerned he was more so.' "More so of what ?" in quired the lady, still more perplexed. "3Iore so with regard to it viewed morally. Because the Eean is a sea a blue sea, winch might, it not under those circumstances in parallel instances -very truthfully though; but before breakfast, always before the morning meal. You aree with me I hone ' And Artemus smiled and bowed po litely. How People Spoil Gooi Locals. The Charlottesville Chronicle tell th? story thusly: "Salmcn was discharged ... irom custody instead ol being hung, cheat ing us directly out of a first class local of two columns. Then a man fro'in" down Main street had his horse frightened and instead or letting hirn run nnd break the buggy all to pieces and crinnle himself, ho - i t v stopped him before he even got under good headway. And another rentleman. nni - cp j of our first citizens. ridin? a fine horse on one of the chief thoroughfares of the town yesterday, undertook to make him pass a little pile of rubbish that was bu'inin in the street. Tho horse refused to en nnrl backed to the pavement, where a number of little boys and eirls were nlavinrr Now, this man, instead of spurring the horse and making him kick two or three of the little girls and bovs over, ns anv spirited man should have done, he jumped down and led the horse without htting him kick a single one. How is the local columns of a paper to be sustained as long aa this elate ot things exists ? ' A c R respondent of the Albany Journal tells the following big story about what two of his friends said they saw one day : "Thev saw a wasp riding on a green worm one and a Lalf inches long. IJow far they had rid den they did not know, but after they saw mm mey watctied him until he had ridden twenty-five feet. Occasionally the worm would 6top. lie motionless as though he was dead, when the wasp, after a little, would 6pur him up, and then tho worm would go on. The wasp kept the worm in as direct a course as he could. After a while the worm stopped and the wasp dismounted and ran quickly and removed a little stone or piece of ground about two inches from where tho worm lay, and then seizing the worm by the head, drew it into the hole. Presently the wasp came out, put on the gravel top over the 1 ole.ct vercd the stone over, and seemed to be ready to fly, when they killed him and dug down about two inches and took out the worm, which was dead." The Green Bay Advocate tells thn fal lowing Etorv about Hehtmnsr. and "hnnpa no body will pnoil it:" A woman sitting imrlnr a tree on Astor heights was struck by light Ding and hurled through the air, 14 miles to her home, stiil retaining hold of a basket on ner arm. btie was uot injured. Ayer's Cherry Pectoral, For Diseases of the Tliroat and Iungs, ucb. aa Coughs, Colds, Whooping Cough, Bronchitis, Asthma, and Consumption. Among the great discoveries of modern science, few are of more real value to mankind than this ef fectual remedy for all diseases of the Throat and Lungs. A vast trial of its virtues, throughout this and other countries, has shown that it does surely and effectually control them. The testimony of our bet citi zens, of all classes, establishes the fiict, that Chekrt Pectokal, will aud does relieve and cure the afflicting disorders of the Throat and Lungs beyond any other medicine. The most dangerous affections of the Pulmonary Organs yield to its power; and cases of Consump tion, cured by this preparation, are public ly know-D, so remarkable as hardly to oe be lieved, wero they not proven beyond dispute. As a remedy it is adequate, on which the public may rely for full protection. By curing Coughs, the" forerunners of more serious disease, it saves unnumbered lives, and an amount of suffering not to be computed. It challenges trial, and con vinces the most sceptical. Every family should keep it on hand as a protection Rgainst the early and unperceived attack of Pulmonary Affections, which are easily met at first, but which become incurable, and too often fatal, if neglected. Ten der lungs need this defence; and it is unwise to be without it. As a safeguard to children, amid the distressing diseases which beset the Throat and Chest of childhood, Chekht Pectokal is invaluable; for, by its timely use, multi tudes are rescued from premature graves," and saved to the love and affection centred on them. It acts speedily and surely against ordinary colds, securing soil i Id and health-restoring sleep. Ko one will suffer troublesome Influenza and pain ful Ilronchitis, when they know how easily they can be cured. Originally the product of long, laborious, and successful chemical investigation, no cost or toil is spared in making every bottle in the utmost possible perfection. It may be confidently re lied upon as possessine all the virtues it has ever exhibited, and capable of producing cures aa memorable as the greatest it Las ever effected. PREPARED BY Dr. J. C. AYER k CO., Lowell, Mass., Practical and Analytical Chemists. BOLD BY ATT. DRUGGISTS EYERYTWTIEEE. FTA T.77S VEGETABLE SICILIAN HAIR RENEWER Every year increases the popularity of this valuable Hair Preparation ; which is due to merit alone. We can assure our old patrons that it is kept fully up to its high standard; and it is the only reliable and perfected prep aration for restoring Gray oe Faded Hair to its youthful color, making it soft, lustrous, and silken. The scalp, by its use, becomes white" and clean. It removes all eruptions and dandruff and, by its tonic properties, prevents the hair from falling out, as it stimu lates and nourishes the hair-glands. By its use, the hair grows thicker and stronger. In baldness, it restores the capillary glands to their normal vigor, and will create a new growth, except in extreme old axe. It is the most economical Hair Dressing ever used, as it requires fewer applications, and gives the hair a splendid, glossy ap pearance. A. A. llayes, 3I.D., State Assayer of Massachusetts, says, "Tho constituents are pure, and carefully selected for excellent quality ; and I consider it the Best Prepajkatiox for its intended puqioses." Sold by all Druggists, and Dealers in Medicines. Price One Dollar. Buckingham's Dye FOU THE WHISKERS. As our Renewer in many cases re quires too long a time, and too much care, to restore gray or faded Whisk ers, we have prepared this dye, in one preparation ; which will quickly and effectually accomplish this result. It is easily applied, and produces a color which will neither rub nor wash off. Sold by all Druggists. Price Fifty Cents. Manufactured by R. P. HALL & CO., NASHUA, HMZ. NATURE'S HAIR RESTORATIVE Contains no LAC SULPHUR-No SU : GAR OF LEAD No LITHARGE No NITRATE OF SILVER, and is entirely free from the Poisonous and Health-destroying Drugs used in other Hair Preparations. Transparent and clear rs crystal, it will not tS?-i)lVr? t?,?ric' Perfectly SAKE, CLEAN and EhnCJE.NJ Uesuleratuuis i-o.no sought FOU ASl lOUM! AT 1.AST ! It l ftorcs and pr7irms the Hair from be coming rr!ty, inip'irfSM soft, irlossv 11 ppearutu-e removes Dandruff, is cool and rerresliin to tlio head, cheeks tho Hair from falling off, and re stores it to u jrreat extent when prematurely lost, prevents Headache, cures all humors, cu taneous eruption, nnd unnatural heat, AS DltESSING FtUt THE HA I It IT IS THE UEST AKTICUS IN THE MAltKET. 10 111 1k. O. SMITH. Patentee, Aver. Mn? Pre pared only by PItoCTOK lUtOTHEUS, Glou cester, Mass. The penuine is pur up in a panel bottle, niade expressly for it, with the name of the article blow u in the glass. Ask vour Iiruir gist for XATUIIE'S JIAUt Ii LSTOHATlvZ, and take no other. lysend two three cent stamps to Proctfk TIbothehs for a "Treatise on the Human Hair." I he inlormation it contaius is worth 0U to any fcerson. rFor sale by LKMMON & MUIUIA V, Tfrw gists, &c Lbcnsburtr. Pa. Uuue a, 'Tl-ly.f J LOID & CO., UankersT -J" " - Ebknsbuko, Ya. Gold, Silver, Government Loans, and other Securities, bought and sold. Interest allowed on Time LepositsT Collections made in all accessible points in the United States and a general Banking business transacted T M. LLOYD & CO., t7 T , Bankeks, Altoona. Ta. Drafts on the principal cities aud Silver and Gold Tor sale. Collections made Moneys received on deposit, payable on de mand without interest, or upon time, with interest at fair rates. au31. Wm. IcKiiiglJt, Jr., DEALER IS A Maryland ."Vc, Uuiidlt-k wltu ' Mi Hot ii,. ,..,;.""' i itii l4 RAILWAY EXGIXEGRS' j titer Muniu. , . iay AND 3 fl i.naiiyA, lai)J i-OUi.tv, Jl I I Bus-iocs-, nevtitly j ' Shoie of Maryland, ( ti,.' . V, r I write, tt.e aui.iv ... .. .- T1JES, sin 1 lUiiimr SOLE AG EST FOB Eagle Steam Hydraulic Packing JIuntnon Steam Oorernor, Tfcnrslcn's Excelsior M-Friction Metal. Costinj? 20 per cent, less than other Metals. STANDARD LUBRICATING PLUMBAGO, Galena Lubricating Oils, For Lijfht and Heavy Machinery, Coal a so Railway Cars! sexd rem PRICE LISTS. IVO, 99 WATER STREET, 7-i-sm. PITTSBURGH, FA. EBENSBURG FOUNDRY ! J. A. SHOEMAKER, Ifiirfactarcr, wi VTiilciale asi Sst&il Iciier la TI1BESI1IXG MACHINES, liORSE TOWERS. WIND HILLS: plows and rr.ow toints. - SHOVEL PLO.VS. CULTIVATORS ; HEATING 1 COOKING STOVES OF EVERY DESIGN" AND TRICE; Church, School and Dinner BELLS; cast iro.y FE:.C'I3G, KETTLES, ill CAST ECLLGW WARE of ccry description, Ac, Ac. ALL WOttK WARRANTED!! 5Ppeeial attention paM to the repairing of all kinds of Ktoves, Vftrminir Utensil, ice. All orders promptly attended to. Old metal, (rrain, etc.. tak n in ext -ha litre for work. Et.'unsburg', July J, lsl.-aiu. REMOVAL and ENLARGEMENT. COOKING STOVES, KEATING STOVES. Til. COFFER k SEEET-IHBS WARE. Havinjr recently talit-n possession of the new ly fitted up ami commodious tmildirifr on Hitrh street, two doors east of the Iiank :md nearly opposite the Mountain lloufe, the pwbpcriber Is better prepared than ever to manufacture ail arti.lesin the TIX, (nl'I'EU and Sil EET-I lt X WAKE line, all of which will be furnished to buyers at the A ery lowest livinjr prices. The subscriber also proposes to keep a full and varied assortment of Cocking, Parlor and Heating Stoves of the most approved designs. CSrorTIXG and KOOFIN'G made to order and warranted perfect in manufacture and ma terial. KEl'AIKINti promptly attended to. .Ml work done bv me will be done riirht and on fair terms, and all STOV ES and WAKE sold by me inn te depended upon as to qualitv and cannot be undersold in price. A continuance and increase of patmnre is respectfully solici ted, and no effort will be wanting- to render en tins tMtt ist action to all. VA LLI E LUTKIXG EU. Ebensburg-, Oct. 13, ls70.-tf. wU UvLu; TTTAVING recently enlarged our stock JLJt, we are now prepared to sell at a great reduction Irom former prices. Our stock cou s:sts of Drus, Medicines, Perfumery, Fancy Soaps, Leon's, Hall's and Allen's Hair Ilestor atiyesv Pills, Ointments, Plasters, Liniments, TaiQ Killers, Citrate Magnesia, Ess Jamaica (linger, Pure Flavoring Extracts, Essences, Lemon Syrup, Soothing' Syrup, Spiced Syrup, Khubarb. Pure Spices, &c"; C1GJKS AND 1VBACCOS, Blank Books, Deeds, Notes nnd P.onds; Cap, Post. Commercial and all kinds of Note Paper; Envelopes, Pens, Fcncils, Arnold's Writing Fluid, Black and Red Ink, Pocket aud Tass Books, Magazines, Newspapers, Novels, His torics, Bibles, Keligious.Praycrand Toy Books, Penknives, Tipes, ic. f?T We have added to our stock a lot of FINE JEWELRY, to which we would invite the attention of the Ladies. riiOTOGR API! ALBUMS at lower prices than ever oflered in this place. Paper and Cigars sold either wholesale or re-tail- LEMMON ii MURRAY, July 30, 1SG. Main Street, Ebensburg. M A L 1 P II A X T . Wholesale and Retail Deiler i Fresh fisfi, Oysters. VeietaWes. Fruits, &c Ao, o:j .Msii lift street, Western Fish, at Sc. to IV. per lb. I resh Shad, at PH.. per lb, or "ie. apiece, or.four for l.tw. Kitra Xo. 2 Mackerel, per bbl., nt 114.0;) l-.xtra Xo. 2 Mackerel, per half bbl., at Ii.7.1 ........ ...... M-m, ht ipiurier, at ...7. Kxtru Xo. 2 Mackerel, per kit, nt 2-ti He also keeps on band all kinds of Veireta L1is' J n-sh lfutter. etc., which he receives daily. k V ill visit F.ben?burjr, C'arrolltowu and Loretto each week durinsr the season. May2T.lS71.-tfi TEN l ISTUr. The undersigned, a -"- graouate of the Balti more College of Dental Sur gery, respect fully ofTers his FBOFCsaioyAL services to the citizens of Eb ensburg and vicinity, which place he will -visit mr ruiKTti .uosDiv ot each month, to re main one week. Aug 13. SAM'L BELFORD, D. D. S. a i.' v. I i tv, P IV I.: ... ' ' 0 l :: ..It Nv l.ilo there I heard ir, . ofpioniiiiei.ee the ;! v , smith, who lived ia u i." ;. wLom fire had r.o ( :. story was s incredih! t;. heei!, although it c..r..c u sources, aud was n '..j.. ; t of the highest btai.tlis.-i ; f-ir hortur and iiitmit). I lir.-t heard i f this iti.;1 ''. R Ilobfcon, cciter f called at my roum, ai..! -t was iu town, ai,d that b. goiivg to make an ty...;.,.. the cfiice of Dr. P. .s ;:! witLcts the operations, ; i. 1-1 v 3 "11 aid. Mr. Kobsnn ar.d t. to Dr. Stack's tfti.e. w i. Drs. iVoderson, Cioli.-i -r u if Rivlfin Mr I A I i . Journal at Ea-b n : Mr. ' p.'."" 'ii. 'j . kj. 1 1 vnry Ta'bot count v. A brisk Cie of atthr... ; , iu a cum in n c al st.,V". J was jilaCfil iu tl.t- tve;. ! lir-at. When all a5 h-h j oft his boots a lid p-avi ; the soles of his a: i :-r V..TV ' t it. i t i., . ! ,1 r.u. -u j ut it :n all arr ! t;-n.z tiie sliovel htcda.e then tXlU.UiL-J ly ti.i. Iwrus c-uld Lv :" u . , ,; no fcvidcueca of a h- a'' co-i.e iu contact with '.. The shovt l w us aga'.ti from the .-t: vc, ul-: '. rati out hi.- tot uc a ! laid the heated si. .ci iron until it I iiaii.t t fX.trninetl his toip;, i iiitiicate that he i.ui from the heated ir u. A large haudfui f c procnred from a st irt i. was LtXt placed in heated uatil melttJ. " the dish, poured the hr.; palm of his hand, a;i i t moutli, a!!owir,g it t; teeth and j;ums. lie i--t several times, each t,n,. ! lead in his motiih it-.-; cacn operation tne j t 3 sict'.r.? -rj cartlllhj. but ColiM h 1 1 Ii i!i,;r.' r,v; r- flesh to indicate tb.it Lc- hij 1'eir.m ti-e'Ri-affected by the heatfd s :1 .-'jl v j.-i-i : b?r handling. Afiei the pertrriutirta lead lie deliberately j v.t i.ls 1.: J it: ::: .toff 1 in U'h i ll i . . n , . . . 1 . . f .u "nun ..a. .. vij. 1. ... r, ..v. therefroto a hatidf-.il c f i:- t c.-.!s v.i ji, them a boat the rom to ti:e a-!jtita.:s p ent, keeping them in .i I nn ii yn ;e Not the slightest tvi-ie; cl a tarn visible opr a his haLd al'-srr i.e tlrtur u coals back into the st v . After he had ci :.cii; ' 'n Dr. Stick's ttTice 1 c. ty to C uiv.-rse with i . i:1.. ignorant, not able to real or ti!t, ail all respects an una du-tt r i-. 1 uctj. His name is Xathar. C her, 2. 1 It al OMt fifty-eight years . f ae lie wi? t- i t the tywn of Hi:l.K'r ti.i,. Cir.' :.z:r: M J., and was the slave t-f L"ty L. it"-: of that place, by wh-.t.: I.e -. J5 f '.i :. lu vp Kmory. In relatt lj t.. abili:j die fire, aud how he f.r-t i-t-.-.irifi iit: . it, he said : "LJ.ks, when I -v-is !e.-n years old, old Ji t-rJ Ei.-ry ... tl :: out to a lawyer wh- s.- 1 t l" lie treated me ha !' v an : -V i '- !: ' muc h to eat. I shie-I :ir ":. : tif i one day and when the c. -k !e:t 1 :.' " dipped tny band ir.o ti.'? 'iir.ae- -'-pulled out a red-hot dr.::-. lire water did not burn at..! I c.t.:J fit i-e -dumplicg without witiki:.2; to fc'ier . often pot my dinner that w.iv. I I. is c'; got the hot fat off the t r,.' drank it. I drink n.y c twe w r.;;e it is "; ing, and it does r,' t itive rr. pain as it does to dri:.k .1 z m I a-ways likes it t a- I. t c-1 ar. Z-.'-'j I then interrogated 1. !-. ? ta t:-? heated sub.-tai.ces ha : :; --r. I. --fr-; asked when he hanoiie ! tt.t-rii wtthwr. if he did not suffer ir. re tin a " ' tnern inwariiiv. to v:. -t ' j 1 U 1 :. ii z -'.i j:- fiji , l-t:t it ' vl r:: II, t r boss. 1 often take try i with my hand when r 1 burn. Since I was a ! :r been afraid t h m i!e :t that often when ly l.i: . up red-hot iron leciu.-e haudy, and that h: n vi fort from it. He ft .1 n.-- from handling fire that: fbn.ts. This man h.- md 1 e -:n avAtlK t felt ':' ... I- .'.I. fr:f T O II N scientific men. and t:::- c: his remarkable p"rf rr-.n: gated ; for it is Oir: .;:-. t handle fire decs txt gree, and that, Uo. ,.!. thiog save what citur h - r.i.i -,r.i'v V r r., : 1 !' . 1 j;: . ! u t.:i !.t r-;r lui a 1 t DR. H. B. MILLER, Z Altoona. Ia.. Operative and Mechaniral nFNTiQT Office removed to irginia street, opposite the Lutheran church. Persons from Cambria county or eh e where who get work done by me to the amount of 'I en Dollars ana upward will have the railroad fare deducted from their bills. All wokk wauihti:i. Jan. i.M, lcfcU.-tf. gg J. LLOYD, snocessor to 11. S. , Bitnn, Dealer, iu Drugs, Medicines, Paints. Srr. K..ru .... :4. f 7 - ' v' uii iuam oiii.cb, I ' 'pool LU the "Mansion House " Kbensburg. Ta. voioor li, jti7.-bm." . . 7 AV. J A Misnv "AT 7 ... 111. A ' . ) Lorrtto. Cambrin i- Tenders his profersional services to such of the e'uiens of the above place and vicinity h. ni;v require medical aid. April 21. Jy j How tf.w Tick (Vt a Let the color le,u i' gray, awhile, al'ak. chestnut, a Ir; wu, a : a cream, a buckskin, or " Second. Examine has got tew ears, and pi ; to him to find out m; goo l. All bosses are dr. a dumb boss are not dc.-::.'- Third. L.aok we'd ; has got a pupil in his eye::. a a oue neither. Ho.-.-'-.- ''- ! iu their eyes are near t t--oats, and have to wear green goggles makes like a tiak jeiller. Fourth. Feel uv h!z no-.i ur your right hand, an 1 -e- ti-' . 1 r . . . i .- ' rr.T.i column iz we;i laiiei . length nv him from for.1 t n ..-..t ..lat ciii'i -il r -.i'a-:i aft, ain't worth (spuaktai: worth a cuss. . , (.;' Five. Fut your hand on "v Vu i allowable in case uv a qua-rid' t if his heart kau beat 70 ; 1 '-j le -"ft"tp U legs to fee if he is well ' ' fr .-5 c four feet and see if thare n- ' "j- them ; frogs keep a hesro? tttt, cf ti just as they do a well, cr a "1 ' .rc jiriii Six, -Run your hand aU-'i .i ridge ov hiz boildy ftom tu tX ui; era to the commencement tt j-..; vertibra) and pinch hi: s:- - J " see if he know how to kio- ui Seven. Uwk him fl.r".0 ,;J ' ties, drive him up to an lrl': .c a 1 a. . ....n-,1 1 mi -- v - c 1. runs :r ' " - . .. strung acrost the top ov t , 1,12 . 1.11 Df , r B 1 n 1 . 1 m li I - 1 " when he is sweutty Lea- rjje t" over him to keep op u,.iiM with an umbrel higbsted and .tr- ov these things These are a fi at in buying a good ,i :.,.. hii.- These are a few simple . . . tn"-. xl fatnnj V(li!:t: grate many uther things to oe ta re,'- leisured after you n Krate mennv wicked wcx (awlso at your leisure ) . g r:ti Good horses are scarse, aaa - that deal in any kind ov h.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers