an-n; kf f it i 3 fU. -?otea rirj .be ' cos in a ricf. oois, mst J a cif han ! '-fie . itn !jen 'ted vet :t8 h ;ch 1 fi id ie ho if ft v n A 31-riKE, Editor and l'ubllslicr. OLUME 5. THE m ; 'o outr "a3 fa. ' vl:; Jd fit: kissr:,' OAK HALL EIPOBIUM! 2,1 Main Street Johnstown. i I IBS & BROTHER H.WK NOW ON HAND Ilie Largest, Best Made tD MOST Dl'KABLG Stock K CIotliiEiir C0 of :her 1 1 look '3 see a Inst 1 or.es jVER KKJT IX JOIIKTOWX, conistiiitf ehlony of -VS COATS. MEN'S PANTS. MEN'S VESTS 'CUIUS' COATS. YOl TILS' PANTS, YOUTHS' VESTS COATS. EOYS' rAKTS, BOYS' VESTS. I ::37 alw c:r.Ftantly Id stock a complete as.-'jrtracnt of ffijnriMisnixc goods, Ha:;, Caps, Trunks, Valises, &c. r" m : ! ! ir.i to mnkc to nrdt-r Clolh- I... !,.:. if.TIl-Sii:; on tUt: l!;i-!wt fallal o. 11 JIai.: r.trc-et, ii) nz now it is yourselves ? .' .t.-r.r.-::. Apr!! , 171. J!m. OTIRM 1 A OLD STAND GOOD GOODS & GREAT BARGAINS HXTIIE HEADY CASIIt H ', ' '"V";.'" ;rnrtotors of the STORE , 11. A. Mio.-simkeri Co., nud bavins- .-"I an u5 i-1 riii I STOCK OF MEW GOODS ix ';i;jlit rjjtii.Tr, "ere y.T ITt .in-d to silfUly nil thn old mi. ! liniu anl a iiimi;- -w ouaa PRICES FULLY AS LOW '.':.:,.::.',:,;"r ,,,!'PC,,ant r cut r.r Cambria ;. it isimr iiK-r,rif,.i to kr-ei imr b-tor . -.Tl l-'Wt-.l W.I I. M 4'. . .1 ...1 !! ... J . ... .1 ...( .). A iTt !Nr..- Mil'FT-; l l lt r l It. IU('(jn, U r T Tfi : -i ,! " h,: fou,)'1 in a-v st'- f 'fco ...r in the county ; an.l as we intend to KXCLI SIVLLY lor CASH OP. COI.VTIIY PRODCCB, 'iZ?n! tlA(''hu-,vr(lT'-''1 sure that our h'uVl r n I T''-'"1!! "it only sr-curo but EmlTS FROM ONE AND ALL 'j'Tf.it'n' ' ",V 'lM ltfl- '"id if wq fail to ren 'r ..r,,r"' ,' , UMi;U. both ns regards the qutil .!'w.f; , ;, v f11'1 ,!"-" I,ri--s nsked ff.r them, thi o.'V;; ' L'p ",J falllt "f 'ho llrm at J'".i i f.. v. , , V !,,t-,""k.-r A- Co., Hiifh street. u-u'' Millie fur your money. MORKELL & CO., V'ASUL1GT0N STREET, rPa. R.R, Depot, Johnstown, Pa., W'io'Mo? and RctcU Dealers in SifflilimC DRY GOODS. 5ilmm:uy goods, WEKNSWARE. boots and shoes, hats and caps, CRpptv , 1K0NT ANDf NAILS., -"'Elb AND OIL CLOTHS, CUSS v ;KAI)Y.MADE CLOTHING, w uArl1K Y ELL0 w WA RE. tDnw DEN AND WILLOW WARE, tfOV SIONSand FEED, ALL KINDS, I Frou, !S'nend retail ordpr9 solicited t H , 7v . Hed on the enorteet notice and 31 rtdbouabio terms. WOOD, MORRELL & CO. OEO nTT 7 v,-iA"M JAS. B. ZAHM, AHM & SON, dealers is MtfCOODS, GROCERIES, HARDWARE. QUEENSWARE, atSjCapsootshoes, AKD ALL OTHER ARTICLES dually Kept In a Country Store Poland country pkoduce TAKES IN EXCDANGE FOR GOODS ! store on main street, Next Door to the Post Office, OMSGO. EBENSBURG, va. "Wait for the wagon i ah ''"M. r I-"' V A,i O-NS kept on l.n'nd f1'1-! Pi i. r's wrt ,"',nl at the most U"Q, Ch in . Vo,'k w'irnmta to irive or made most rea-son- . vj or address 4five satisfac- Railroad m., johnntmcn. li. it. srvfiPTi i TIIOMAS CAKLANDj "VVilOLESALE DEALER IX. GROCERIES I QUEENSWARE. WOOD AND WILLOW WARE, STATIONERY AND NOTIONS, PISE SILT, lim CI1I1 MEATS. BACOX, FLOl'R, FEED AND PROVJSIOhSS, 1323 Eleventh Avenue, Between 13th and 14th Sts., Altoona. All such goods as Spices, Brushes. Wood and Willow Ware, Shoe Blacking and Station ery will bo sold from manufacturer's printed price lists, and all other poods in my line at I hiladelphiii, Baltimore, Cincinnati and Pitts burgh current prices. To dealers 1 present the peculiar advantnge of saving them all freight and drayage, ns they are not required to pav freights from the principal cities and no dray age charges are made. Dealers may rest as sured that my goods are of the best quality and my prices as moderate as city rates. By doing a fair, upright business, and by promptly and satisfactorily filling all orders, I hope to merit the patronage of retail dealers and others in Cambria county and elsewhere. Orders re ppectfully solicited and satisfaction guaranteed in all cases. THOMAS OAKLAND. Altoona, July 29, lHiih-tf. Q-KORQE V. YEA GEE, Wholesale and Retail Dealer In HEATING AND COOK STOVES OF EVERY DESCRIPTION, fl. COPFEIl ASfl SHEET-IRBN WAEE OF HIS OWN MANUFACTURE, And GENERAL JOBBER in SPOUTING and all other work In his line. Virginia Street, near Caroline Street ALTOO.V4, IA, Th only dealer in the cltv having the right to sell the renowned " BARLEY SII E F" COOK STOVE. :he moat perfect complete and satisfactory Stove ever 'ntroduced to the public. Stock Immense. - Prices Low. satisfaction guaranteed. JEMOVAL and ENLARGEMENT; COOKING STOVES, HEATING STOVES. -ill ict.ii4 uiiLi-ii nt-in mellow ly rttted up und commodious i-mldins? on Hie-h II.iv!n.nnnnlln(.l.... 1 .o .t. u.nio tuM. in i ii v jMtiii unci nearly opposite the Mountain House, the subscriber is better nienaml fh.'in mw t nMiiif....n.i-a nrtieksin the TIN.COPl'EH and SIIEET-IHf)N" WAKE line, all of which will be furnished to buyers nt the very lowest living- prices. rltlO CI lllQi'l'il ki filu.x t.v.iwici.j n l.....n . 4. .11 itnd varied assortment of Cooking, Parlor and Heating Stoves of the most approved desig-ns. rrrsrOTTTlXG and HOOFING made to order and warranted perfect in manufacture mid ma terinl. ItEI'A IKING iromntiy ptteiuled to. All work dono by me will he done risrlit and on fair terms, and all STOVES and WAKE sold by me can be depended upon as to o,uality and cannot bo undersold in price. A continuance and increase of patronage is respectfully solici ted, and no elTort will be wanting to render en tiro satisfaction to all. VA Lid K LUTltING ER. Ebensburg-, Oct. 13, lSTu.-tf. 1 ill Ui Til WM. P. PATTON, 3X a n xi 1 ii cturcr aiiti Denior In A I.I. KINDS OF CABINET FURNITURE Aos. 130 mill Clinton Street, JUIINSTOTTX, PA. r.rnEACS, I5KLSTKArS, WSTISTANM,- SlOEllOAHDP, Cham bek Skts, PAKIX1K iETS, Warukohks, Hook Casks, Caxe CnAins, W(ll)l) tEAT tJjIAIRS, Kitchen Fi'knititke, liT.D tncNOfs; attkifi.p Tete-a-Tetks, Extension Tables, biMNO Tables, &c, &c, &c, &c, &c, &c, &c, &c, &c, &c, &o. EVERY DESCRIPTION OF SCHOOL AND HALL FURNITURE mado to order in excellent style and at low prices.- Cabinet und Chairinakers' materials of all kinds for sale. Furniture delivered at any point in Johnstown or at Kailroad Htntion free of extra chai jre. WM. P. PATTON. Johnstown, Octl3 18T0.-tf. ESTAVLISIIEJ) 1833. JOUNfiES, Ul'l'HOAKDP, Successors to n. WOLFF, Jr a CO., Cor. Liberty and Sixth Sts., (Lato St. Clafr Street,) PITTSBURGH, PA., Imjmrten and Dealers in AND 9 Itave now in Store the largest and best selected stock offered in the City. Special Indnccuieuts olTcred to the Country Trade. Lapr.8.-Oui. "Ji'IliST NATIONAL SADDLE AND HA UN ESS SHOP OF CAMHKIA COUNTY, 11 rret',t' "Plosite Union School House,) Vest ard, KbensburK, Pa. M. M. O'NEILL,, 1 roprietor. M(iHcHnd Mrrmra made and rc panx'd and all other work in my lino exccutwl in th best manner, on the shortest notice, and at the most reusuuuWo rutoa. Ll-JUJ.-tf 3- HE IS A FREEMAN WHOM p:bensburg; Ije poet's geparfrntnt. HOW TO MANAGE II 1 31. "How shall you manage yottr husband?" x will tell jou, my dear, if I can. He is really a wonderful cieature. That troublesome animal man, Yes, really a wonderful creature, Inconsistent and oueer; But you'll soon know the secret by learning The modus operandi, my dear. If he stays out too late in the evening, Partaking of Simper and wine, Don't prove hitn a base fabricator. When he comes, by asking the time; For he surely will tell yon the town clock But a moment before rang out one When it struck he had counted it over Just three times before it had done. And then if his hat, in the morning, Is emaller by far than hia head, Don't hint by merest allusin That his lordship went tipsy to bed, But rather regard the occurrence A phenomenon puzrling, queer, With a strange look of mystification In your eyes, if he's watching, my dear. And don't fail to sow on his buttons. And mend all hi3 clothes with care; Don't tease him for money for shoppia"-; Don't frown when he acta like a bear Don't tell him too often, rriy depry, That your head is aching with pain. Lest he whispers way down in his bosom, "Oh, I wish I was single again I" Don't tell hia that Mary, the housemaid, And Ann, tbe obstreperous cook, Refuse to receive your suggestions With even as much as a look; Don't tell how very annoying Yon so often found it to bo To be told to "get out of the kitchen, And don't come a botherin' of me !" But always seem cheerful and happy. And always look pleasant nhd pav; Than a Irown there is nothing more potent In diiving ies huabind away. And thus yon must ever keep striving, You'll find it an eicellout plan : But whatever you do, dear, remember That your husband is only a man. Salts, gficfc?csiu(boto,c. A TLRK1BLE THREAT. 'ril Set tbe I'aeifie Ocean In Flames?" Mysterious Murder. In the Sacramento Daily Union, of a recent date appears the extraordinary state ment of one Leonidas I'arker, written be fore hi9 death, and giving what purports to be the true account of his connection with the murder of Gregory Summerfield. The latter individual had been known for many years as "The Man with a Secret," and he me: with a horrible death, at the age of seventy years, by being pushed from the platform of a train upon the Union Pacific Kailroad, near the North Fork of the American liiver, at a place called Cape Horn. The unforlunato wretch wus hurried downward a distance of over one thousand feet, upon'the brist ling rocks at the foot of the declivity. Parker, who was upon the platform with Summerfield at the time of the catastro phe, was twice arrested and tried for the alleged murder, but was on each occasion mysteriously acquitted, once by a justica and a second time by a Grand Jury, Parker was himself a distinguished lawyer of Sacramento, and was widely respected. He always remained silent concerning the circumstances of the impu-. ted crime, but shortly before his death be placed in the bands of a friend a docu ment, the giet of which we give below, the entire story taking up nearly a pa'a of the Union. Inferring to Gregory Summerfield, the murdered man, Mr. Parker speaks of him as having been one of the deepest chemi cal students of the age, and a man of ex cellent general literary attainments. Par ker Lad known Summerfield for over twenty years, their acquaintance having been formed in Texas during the days of the Kepublic. Continuing his account, Parker says: "Oue day towards the close of last September, an old man wrapped at my otlice door, and on invitation came in, and advancing, cafled me by name. Perceiv ing that I did not at firet recognize him, he introduced himself as Gregory Sum merfield. After inviting him to a 6eat I scrutinized his features more closely and quickly identified him aS the same person whom I had met twenty-two years before. He was greatly altered in appearance, but there was the old charm of intellectual superiority in his conversation, and I welcomed him to California as an impor tant addition to her mental wealth. 'It was not many minutes before he requested a private interview. Lie fol lowed me into my back officey carefully closed the door after him and locked it. We had scarcely seated ourselves before he inquired of mo if I had noticed any recent articles in the newspapers respect ing the discovery of the art of decompos ing water so as to fit it for fuel for ordina ry purposes t "I replied that I had observed nothing new upon that subject since the experi ment of Agassiz and ProfesBor Henry, and added that in my opini'ou the expen sive mode of reduction would always pre vent its ue. "In a few words he then informed me that he had made the discovery that the art was extremely simple, and the expenso attending decomposition eo slight as to bo insignificant. "Presuming that the object of his visit to me was to procure the necessary forms to get' out a patent for the right, I congrat ulated him upon his good fortune, and was about to branch forth with a descrip tion of some of the great benefits that i . - THE TRUTH MAKES FREE, AND ALL pa, Saturday, must ensue to the communitv. when h suddenly and somewhat uncivilly request ed me to 'be silent' and listen to what he had to say. "He began with some general remarks about the inequality of fortuno amongst mankind, and instanced himself as a strik ing example of the fate of those men who, according to all the rules of right; ought to be near tbe top, instead of at the foot of the ladder of fortune. 'But,' said he, springing to his feet, with impulsive ener gy, '1 have now the means at my com mand of rising superior to fate, or of in flicting incalculable Ills upon the whole human race. Looking at him more cloaely, I thought I could detect in his eye the gleamof madness ; but I remained silent and awaited further developments. But my scrutiny, stolen as it was, had been de tected, and he replied at once to the ex pression of my face : 'No, sir, I am neith er drunk nor a maniac; I am in deep earnest in all that I say ; and I am fully prepared, by actual experiment, to demon strate beyond all doubt the truth of all I claim.' "For the first time I noticed ho carried a email portmanteau in his hand ; this he placed on the table, and unlocked if, and took out two or three small volumes; a pamphlet or two, a small, square, wide mouthed phial, hermetically sealed. "I watched him with profound curiosi ty and took note of his slightest move ments. Having arranged hia books to suit him. and placed tho phial in a con spicuous position, he drew up his chair closely to my own, and uttered; in a half hissing lone : ' 'I demand one million dollars for the contents of that bottle ; and you must raise it for me in the city of San Francis co within one month, or scenes too terri ble for even the imagination to conceive, will surely be witnessed by every livin" human being on the face of the globe.' "1 he tone, the manner, and the ex travagance of the demand excited a fa:nt smile upon my lips, which he observed, but disdained to notice. "My mind was fully made up that I had a maniac to deal with, and I pre pared to act accordingly. But I ascer tained that my inmost thoughts were read by tho remarkable man before me, and seemed to bo anticipated by him in ad vauce of their expression. " 'Perhaps, said I, 'Mr. Summerfield, you would oblige me by informing me fully of the grounds of your claim, and the nature of your discovery.' " 'That ia the object of my visit,' he replied. 'I claim to have discovered the key which unlocks the constituent gases of water, and frees each from the embrace of tbe other, at a single touch.' " 'You mean to assert, I rejoined, 'that you can make water burn itself up ?' ' 'Nothing more nor less,' he responded, except this to iusist upon tbe conse quences of tbe Bccrer, if my demand be not at once complied with.' " 'Now, suppose I fling the contents of this email phial into the Pacific Ocean, what would be the result ? Dare you contemplate it for an instant? I do not assert that the entire surface of tho sea would instantaneously bubble up into in sufferable flames ; no, but from the nu cleus of a circle, of which this phial would be the centre, lurid radii of flames would gradually shoot out ward, until the blazing circumference would roll in vast billows of fire, upon the uttermost shores. Not all the dripping clouds of the deluge coufd extinguish it. Not all the tears of saints and angels could for on instant check its progress. Onward and onward it would sweep with the steady gait of destiny, until the continents would melt with" fer vent heat, the atmosphere glare with the ominous conflagration, aud all living crea tures in the land, and sea, and air perish in one universal catastrophe.' "Then au'ddenly starting to h"i9 feet ho drew himself to bi3" full height, and mur mured solemnly 'I feel like a God ! and recognize my fellow-men but as pigmies that I spurn beneath my feet.' At this Parker states that he attempted to reason wTth Summerfield upon the ab surdity of believing that he held in his hands power so mighty, at which the latter retorted with quotations from the Scriptures, Humboldt's 'Cosmos,' and the works of famous astronomical writers, proving1 that it was not only possible for entire planets' to be destroyed by fire, but that such terrible events had actually often occurred. This answer concluded, ho handed Parker a Small phial, requesting him to open and smell of its contents, the result being that a strong odor of potas sium was observed. At this Summerfield continued, 'Of course,' said he, you are familiar with the chief characteristic of that substance. It ignites instantly when brought into contact with water. With in that little glbuule of potassium I have imbedded a pill of my own composition and discovery. The moment it is libera ted from the potassium, it commences the work of decomposing the fluid on which it floats. The potassium ignites the lib erated oxygen, and the conflagration of this mighty globe is begun. " Yes, said I. 'begun, if you please, bat your little pill soon evaporates or sinks, or melts in tho surrounding seas, and your Conflagration ends just where it began.' But,' sneered he, 'the elementary substancoa in thjt small phial recreate themselves ; they are self-generating, and ! ARE SLAVES BESIDE, july i, i87i. when once fairly under way. must neeP, fiarily sweep onward, until all the seas are exhausted.' "Rising from my seat I went to (he wash-stand in the corner of the apart ment, and drawing a bowl full of Spring valley water, I turned to Summerfield and remark, 'Words are empty ; theories are ideal but facts are things.' " 'I take you at your word,' So say ing he approached the bowl, emptied it of nine-tenths of its contents; and silently dropped tho potassium coated pill into the liquid. The potassium danced around the edge of the vessel, fuming, hissing and blazing, as it always does, and seemed on the point of expiring, when to rriy aston ishment and alarm a sharp explosion took place, and in a second of time the water was blaring in a red, larid column half way to the ceiling. " 'For God's sake,' I cried, 'extin guish the flames or we shall set the build ing on fire I' "Had I dropped the potassium into the bowl as you prepared it,' he quietly rei marked, 'the building would indeed have been consumed.' Lower and lower fell the flickering flarries, paler end paler grew the blaze; until finally the fire went out, and I rushed up to see the effect of the combustion. "Not a drop of water remained in the vessel I Astonished beyond measure at what I had witnessed, and terrified almost to the verge of insanity, I approached Summerfield and tremblingly inquired : 'To whom, sir, is thi tremendous secret known V 'To myself alone,' ho respond ed ; 'and now answer me a question is it worth the money V "It is entirely unnecessary to relate ia detail the subsequent events connected with the transaction, I will only add a general statement, showiug the results of my negotiation. liaving fully satisfied myself that Summerfield actually held in his hands the fate of the wholo world, with its millions of human boings, and by experiment having tested the combustion of sea water, with equal facility as fresh, I next deemed it my duty to call the atten tion of a few of the principal men in San Frarcisco to the extreme importance of Summerfield's discovery. A leading banker, a bishop, a chemist, State University professors, a physician, a judge, and two Protestant divines were selected by roe to witness the experimant on a large senfe. This was dwne at a small sandhill lake near the seashore, but separated from it by a ridge of lofty moun tains, distant not more than ten miles from San Francisco; Every single drop of water in the pool was burnt up in less tban fifteen minutes. We Dext did all we could to pacify Summerfield, and en deavored to induce him to lower his price and bring it Within the bounds of possi bility. But without avail. He began to grow argent in hi3 demands. "Tho sub-committee soon commenced work amongst tho wealthiest citizens' Of San Francisco, and by appealing to the terrors of a few and the sympathies of all, euceeded in raising one-half the amount within the prescribed period. I shall never forget the woe-begone faces of Cali fornia street dtfr'rng tho month of October. The outside world and the newspapers" spoke most learnedly of a money panic a pressure in business; and the disturbances in the New York gold-room. But to the initiated there was an easier solution of tho enigma. Tho pale spectre of death looked down upon them all, and pointed with hia bony finger to the fiery tomb of the whole race, already looming up in the distance before them. Day after day I could see the dreadful ravages of this se cret horror, doubly terrible, since they dare not divulge it. Still, do all that they could, the m'oney could not be obtain ed. The day preceding tho la6t one given, Summerfield was Bummoncd before the committee, and full information given him of tno state of affairs. Obdurate, hard and cruel he still continued. Finally, a pro position was Btarted that an attempt should be made to rase the other half of the money in' the City of New York. To this proposition Summerfield ultimately yielded, but with extreme reluctance. It was agreed in committee, that I should accompany him hither, and take with me, in my own possession, evidences of the sums subscribed here ; that a' proper ap peal should be made to, tho leading capi talists, scholars and 'clergymen of that metropolis, and that, when the whole amount was raised, it should be pai'd over to Summerfield and a bond taken from him never to divulge hia awful secret to any human being. "With this he seemed to be satisfied, and left us to prepare for his going the next morning. "As soon as he left tbe apartment, the bishop arose, and 'deprecated tho action' that had been taken, and characterizod it as childish and absurd. He declared' that ui) man was safe one moment whilst that diabolical wretch' still lived ; that the only security for us all was in his im mediate extirpation from the face of the earth, and that no amount of money could" seal his lips or close his hands. It would be no' crime, ho said, to deprive him of the means of assassinating the whole human family, and aa for himself he was for dooming him to' immediate death. . With a unanimity that was extraor dinary the entire committee coincided". "A great many plans were proposed, discussed and rejected, having in view i exiermtnation of Summerfield. la them all there was the want of that proper caution which would lull the apprehen sion of an enemy for should he for an instant suspect treachery we knew his Ma ture well enough to be satisfied that he would waive all ceremonies and carry his threats into immediate execution. "It was finally resolved that the trip to Isew York should not be abandoned, ap parently. But that we were to start out in accordance with the original programme; that, during the journey, some proper means should bo resorted to by me to car ry out the final intentions of the commit tee, and that whatever I did would be sanctioned by them all and full protection, both in law and conscience, afforded me in any stage of the proceeding. "Nothing was wanting but my own consent. I asked the privilege of medi tation for one hour at the hands of the committee before I would render a deci sion either way. During that recess the above argumentation occupied my mind. The time expired and I again presented myself before them. I did not deem it requisite to state the grounds of my deci sion ; I briefly signified my assent and made instant preparations to carry the plan into execution. "Having passed on the line of the Pacific railway more than once, I waa perfectly familiar with ail its windings, gorgos and precipices. "I selected Capo Horn as tho best adapted to the purpose, and the public knows the rest. "Having been fully acquitted by two tribunals of the law, I make this final ap peal to my fellow-men throughout the State, and ask them confidently not to re-, verse the judgment already pronounced. ..... . . A Mean and Amusing Transaction Combined At a recent sale of real es tate in Vernon, Vt., a house was sold that was occupied by a widow and a eick daughter. After tbe sale the mother ask ed tho purchaser to allow her to remain in ono of the rooms until her daughter was better able to be removed, but was met with a decided refusal. Kind hands were at once enlisted inaher behalf and the sick girl removed to tho south pari of the town, which of course retaruc-d her recovery. This was the mean part, and now for the amusing one. The next drfy the purchaser wai surprised by tho reception of a box neatly addressed to himself. IIo at once opened his prize, and, to hia astonishment, was inot by the compliments of a living ekunk a fitting companion for such a mean specimen of humanity. The last heard of tho man Lo was in search of a new suit of clothes. Lirn.E Womkn. Three little girls were playing among the poppies and sage brush of the back yard. Two of them were "making believe" keep house, a little way apart as near neighbors might. At last one was overheard paying to the youngest of the lot, "There, now, Nelly, you go over to Sarah's house and stop there a little while, and talk as fast as ever you can, and then Come back and tell mo what she says about rae, and then I'll talk about her ; and then you will go and tell her all I say, aud then we'll get as mad as hornets and won't speak when we meet, just as our mothers do, you know ; and that'll be such fun won't it ?" Hadn't these little mischiefs lived to some purpose ? and were they not close observers and apt scholars, charmingly trained for the chief business of life in a small neighborhood ? A good etory is told of an eccentric old gentleman, who, although occasionally addicted to the habit of swearing, was still punctilious in regard to saying grRce at the table, and this duty he never omit ted on any occasion. The story runs that on a certain occasion tho old gentleman invited a sea captain, a jolly old weather beaten tar of ins acquaintance, to dine with him. They sat down to dinner, and tho old gentleman, according to custom, commenced saying graco ; but the captain, whose attention had been diverted for tho moment, hearing the ctd gentleman speak, thought he was addressing him, and turned to him with :' "What did you say, 'Squire !" "Why, d n it, man, I am: paying grace." IIoV Soon Wk Forget. A loaf torn from a tree by a rugged gale,' and borne away to some desert spot to perish. Who misses it from its fellows? Who is sad that it is gone ? Thus it is with human life. There are dear friends, perhaps, who are stricken with grief when a loved one is tlveri, and for many days the grave is watered with tears and anguish. But by and by tho crystal fount is drawn dry, the last drop oozes out, the stern gate of for get fulness folds back upon tho exhausted springs, and lime, the blessed healer of sorrow," walks over tlie Sepulchre without waking a single echo, of his footsteps. At ono of the "labor conventions" hold in Washington during tho strike,' Mr. Grcem made a rpcech exhorting his hearers to "work in the interests" of har mony aud ?ace.". Whereupon an able bodied striker spraug to his feet with the exclamation, "Yes, 6ah 1 dat's what, we want ; hominy and peas ! but d n if wo can' git it wid a" dollar an a half a day !" Tems, $ per freSr in advo II CO. NUMBER 22; What it was Aeoct. "Well now that puts me in mind of two old fellows down in Kentdcky that had been the best friends in tbe world for over thirty years1 never had a cross word, and would do' anything for each other. They got into a too buggy wagon 'and started down to Lexington on business. You see they lived about twelve miles out of Lexing ton. One was named Burr the other Clark. About six miles from Lexington they passed a track of land belonging to a man named Baker. It had a brook running through a sully on it. " 'Tom,' says Burr, coming to the gully, 'If Baker wanted to build a pond all he would have to do would be to throw a wall across that gully.' " 'Yes, say3 Clark, 'but Tom don't want a pond. " 'Well,' replied Burr, raising himself op, 'I didn't say he wantcd;a pond, did I ? I said if ho wanted a pond all he would have to do would bo to throw a' wall across that gully.' . " 'Weil, exclaimed Clark, firing up in h's turn : I didn't, say that you did say he waited a pond, did I ? All that I said was that Baker didn't want any pond.' " Well,' shouted Burr in an angry tone, 'I didn't say that you did say. that; I said he wanted a pond, did 1? I gaid 7'f if ho wanted a. pond, all he would have to do would be to throw a wall across that gully. " Well,' said Clark, now thoroughly enraged, 4you are a d d oil fool, and t won't ride with you any farther ! Stop the wagon.. "So Burr stopped the wagon," said the Blue Grass man, "and Clark walked! all the way to Lexington, six miles, before he would ride with him. That was seven years ago, and the cussed old fools have' never spoken to one another since. A". T. Sun. Josn Billings on Hash. Hash iz' made out of cast oph vittles. Hash baz done more for the. human race ov man than almost enny other breed ov food- For breakfast, a small tender-lion steak, some few ham & cgrgs, 3 baked potatoze, a plate ov buttered toast, sum slap jack?, 2 cups oy colFy, and sum hash iz ood. I like to' eat hash this way better thari enny other. Sum pbokeB nlwuz raize their noze up at hash. If you search history with 1 eye, yti will find these folks, 20 or SO years ago, more or less, rere born on hash. I hav seen hash miself, that I had my doubts about, but I et it, and still live. I love hash as a principle, and this iz my rule ; I watch the landlady, and if she eats it, I take the second plate. This makes me very popular at all the boarding houses which i attend. If folks would be a little more penuri ous with their hash, and not get stubs ov tallo kandlcs, baby's morccko shoes, and now and then a fine tcoth comb, that want more than half worn out, into their hash, hash would stand tb-6ay at th head ov all mixed food. Gen. Logan's Staff. Just before (he capture of Savanuah,' Gen. Logan, with two or three of his staff, entered the depot at Chicago ono morning, to take the cars east, on his way to rejoin his com mand. The general, being a short dis tance in advance of the others," stepped" upon the platform of a" car, and was about to enter it, but was Etopped by an Irish man with: "Wll not bo pom in there." 'Why not, sir V asked the general. 'Because them's leddies' cars, and no' gcntlcman'll be goin' iu there without a' leddy. There's wan sate in that car over there, ef yecs want it," atthc sametime' pointing to it. "Yes," replied the general, "I see there' is one seat, but what shall I do with'my staff?" "O, bother your staff I" was the petu lent reply. "Go and take the eate, and stick yer staff out of the windy." How it Wouldn't Work. Good Mr: Snake had been talking to little Calvin, in Sunday school, about the evils which result from using tobacco, and told him how, when he waa a litt's boy, ho had1 met a gentleman in tho street with a segar in his mouth, and he asked him to' throw it away,: and how the gentleman said : . "My boy, you have taught mo a less eon," and never smoked again. So little Calvin tried it. He asked tho first mari he met to "Please throw away that filthy segar," but the man was not on the throw, and all ho said was, I'll learn you manners, you little fool you," and hp cuffed little Calvin's ears till hia" nose bled. Little Calvin thinks' things are changed since Mr, Snake was a boy. Butler Piety. A girl that quits a1 house because they don't have farui'y prayers, ought to considered a real good girl, but it is not always the, case. Ore in Ikston did it, saying she didn't bclicvo any family that neglected to pray was good, and after she was gone the family found that all the silverware and jewelry had gone with her. They pray now reg ularly before their hired girls. ff
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers