V jft. , MTIKK, Editor and Publlslier, 3 ' ME IS A FREEMAN WHOM THE TatTTH MAKES FREE, "aSD ALL ARB SUAVES BISSIDE, Terns3, $ per year'In navatic-? OLUME 4. EBENSBURG, PA., THURSDAY; APRIL 14, 1870. .a ANEW THING, loirn i I5Ifi TIIIAG, lOlUt jaG00D THING in EBENSBURG- OYALTY SUPEPX'EDED I , "Hce cf Tudor" Surrendered ' rn'Tir.- SMALL FRY ! mm xet koodsi Induceineiits ! Li Street! I lcw Price3 ! j ,.ifn r.oc;e-:-icn of the room on High .',vt 'l.rce Jo'TS from Centre Rreet,). ..v orri-.r-Ifd by P.. H. Tudor, ";a-o 'uliich he has jnt introduce J s n'-i:nrrio'h assortment of fcY& DRESS ..GOODS, rroccrlP1'' Slardwot'O, &.C.. .rir": evfrvtliin crd much more thnn r.jcAir." in t!I " reck of timbtr " ha "'jf.-f ;rrri!'ifl fo keep, ft ml every srtio'.c cf which -a ill be :.Dvr:iY cheap tor cash: '"vii:?. i;ef.?:j nr.TTrn poops ! j,li). J.t'iv SELLS CHKAPEIC! ' .NO bi:ALL'.l SELLS MOKE 1 j 7 FRY! Tr.Y FRY'! TRY FRY!.'! fi; a: Fiv! Buy from Fry!! vn;r ir you vt.int to p.uy Press Good- st the fairest prices. T 1-KY IF Y0FJ W.4NT TO P.UY v. CVek'. 0!nel.ann. Tickin;?, yhirt- Iwmro. Iriil. Jein. Clo'h. Cas smpre?, s.illiic:, Del.iue, J.awn?, i'rit.t, i? , & "P'l -xijb to grt lie full W'.rthwl v.:ur money. IV rRY IF YOU W.1NT TO P,UY a'id S'r.ees f"t MenV. LvHes' nnd CLil !ria'i wear, ua' soe'.le.l ia iualiiy and tohcie nLd?Tsold ir. ;.iicei. Y VIVT IF YOi: V.NT TO BUY j.'.vare, vvaecne :irc, i.ia?'sre, t.arpets, I Oil I'loMif, ic , of the h-i'iJsomest 1 it)ei at i he lone.;t Curra. TRY IF YOI WANT TO 1.UY Si.Je'.Sfieul-fera. ITee? rv.rk.r.i, Sa!i. 1, i! -.( er. F-zgi, Chce-e. CotToe. Su- iit. Tens. 5 Can''.e. Spires, or ar,t!.t: g e.?e a tr.ut hiie. TRY IF YOU Vv'ANT TO PUY Tflr.J errryh'ng wo"th b'.'Tinsj, nr.d be : :!.:it st timea vnn n-il! he n:plied .:!e LOWEST CASH RATES. ('Is try ! mr eve .' it no Ho uuhe fry Coodf Store a:.d Grocery jj; oppr.ei: oy .. j i rv, ba the street c.nllcj Ilich, More for vm;r c;oprv tou can ,av :a fior.1 a: j oi.e c!o, fur i nigh. yJal Jes-cn tn keei a full line of 1 I'. j ( HJDS of the most 1 (.1'r:d,le str'ea vi! f OT tit PAa 'Um.'f-rr.lred to sell as CHEAP A 4 ..il.M'EST. I rerce'fun solicit a call ll V ;C W e: n 1 r .. - .'MVA Kfcr. "... ... 1 -" 1 e nar.it or visits off Oilier to itiLb t'.-. i i-v . l ,, , r,rciivses. h tuiever jT3I:' 3i)I'T.fct?ure first to try the store liar 2 A, i. ! it y . SBURG FOUNDRY IX I'LL I, HRH, KEWJUILDINGS, &c. 'i.'n irri' nr..) ii ii i-- v ' en Known r.n- -;I.G F0I N 1 ) R Y from Mr. EJw. . ,'J,Ur' Rr"1 .c"':,r-l it almost en 't..t it v --..j, liew rnt'.-hinerv, I A il) R S,- U KA TIXG S TO r75. p I' . . . ...NO MACHiNFs. MILL -y.aI,iWATKr.wni.:KLS, ti r Ait r 'LOPc'i A' , ''VUA. H.UUC11S -,.f,.,. , ana in iact a.i V " T " nirwt:ired in a first cless t;T,,r 0r. l'f a l ki,id attended to l'.T s i i done cheplv. l :tTt'li (.ti ..r T7 r ...j w" r n MKTS n lnvllCU el 1'LOUGllS which we !fv . -n'.' niiiuuiaiure ana Fen '''. fine wh:fii . i Ml I ucu iu ue c'.'- 'n-r"'!-'f?l to the public. ):i ir f;arff;v capable of performing Cur i'i o ,r i e in the mot satislactory 107.-ini that we ent !o ivfirlr n't t''i;Ii have lionii -, t.: :i'Uv'r.e!oi,-'ro. we confidently hope that '; ii Worthy (it 'il nril r'.,l-f,r,o The V i .t7::"1.c tr wholesale dealer. or c.. .': 1 1"15 p "d m cash for old Trtv R'VPn "chance. t n,-.UR,CTT CASH OR CCVKTLT 0 V - JAS. U. ZAHM. 2AHM i SON, Dealers ih 1 GOOOS, GROCERIES. WARE, QUEENSWARE, ap3, Boots,Shoes, Ul. OTHER ARTICLES ePt In a Country Store. COUNTRY PRODUCE 13 eschaxge roa coons! ISCAL ESTATE SAVINGS BANK, So. C3 Fourth Avtnne, xi.joiuin new Merchants' and Mancfacturers Natiunnl Pnt:k, PITTSBURGH, PA. nSTAIJLISK KII IX I S 2 . ISA AC JOXKS. Tresidontl VM. H. SMITH, Vice Pre5i.!er.t. S. . UARRIEU. Kcc. and Trcas. B C. I'ARKK. Acconntaiit. E. li. TODD, Solicitor. , Ttteitw! , Hon. Tl-os. M. linwe, Jacob Painter,. Hon. J . K. Moorhead, C. O. Husirv. . Hflrvey CJiilda. tt'm. II. Smiib, Isnnc Jones. D. W. C. Bidw, . Xicaolns Voeglitly, Jr. e ' . . Statement of Jet rler 3 0, 1 8 CO, - ASSETS Bonds and Mort:ipe, beiug first Leu. on Real Estate, . .. $a02 O.'.T 0 ) U. fl HI Bor.d.at par '. 2-Vfc'4 !0 IT. S.JO 4 ) Bonds, at Par.. .-. . . . 2." .) PO Re;il instate. . .- ' 2,2:) 47 Oi'li"e Fur.iiti:re. -S i H (-0 Cas,b . , .r.1.4l0 3X' Total . SG-.j7.4DC '.O LIAKILITIES. Amount due Depositors C.r"3, 103 71 Interest. Not. 1. 14.027 7H Contingent Emd. . . . .' ' 4.'L."?(M f-'D Total. $r()7.4'!G INTEREST AT 1, OWED on Perooit. :t LIX PEK CENT. i'ER ANNUM, payable to DeposittiM in May ui:d Niiverober, -which, if not draw n, will be addcv to the principal, n:;d coMPocsDrn. Open for Deposit from 9 A. M. to 3 I. M., dailv ; a'eo cn Saturday Evenii!''., from G to 9 e Vlock. ts?" Money lonncd on Hond and Mortpago only. Slips for the u?c of depositors who can not visit the city, and copies of Charter and Bt-Jhw3 furnished bv mail. , S. S. C AUTIIER, Secretary and Treasurer. No. C3 FnuRTn Ave., riTTsatr.cn, Ta. Norcrnbcr 115, lbC'K. irn. ty9('S AND I SSI'S b )tccT, sr d and rxcriANOLn OX ?IOST I.BIir.IlAI, TrK.IIS. GHZ 25 1E PorcnT anii Sotr t Mahkf.t Rates. COUPONS CASHED, PAGIFI6 "-R. R. BONDS STOCKS BOUGHT AND SOLD ox ro.v.v;ssio.v o.vir. Accounts Receiv'd and Interest ANovv'd OTi DAILY HALAXCES, SITIIJECT TO CHECK AT RIGHT. r.'o. 4.0 Rontli TIIIItT Street. Toor tromrn arc on crery sioo, end orphans , cry for bread, because l.us'mnds and In- j thers lived and died uninsured." j LIFE ISHMXti; COMPASV OF PHILADELPHIA. Organizeft 1850. Ain.WuiLLDix.l'res . .Jon.v S. Wilso.v, Sec. All piicies non forfeitable. All policies are pa) able at death or bJ years of age. Economy in management. Care "n the selec tion of risks, I'juMrTNKSS in the payment of deaib claims, anl Security in the inve;merit of its immense funds, are r'gidiy adhered to and have always characterized this Company. J. FRANK CONDON, pcti;tl Agent. Nov. 11, ISC'J.-ly. A N ORDINANCE to Prevent Rin IXO AND Drivixoon thk Pavkmkxts and Sidewalks in the Uohocoh ok EnitKSiifBo: Jlo it enacted and ordained by the Turess and Town Connci! of the Borough of Ebens bur, and it ?s hereby enacted and ordained by authority ol the same. That from and after the publication of tins Ordinance, no perso-i will be permitted to ride, lead or drive any horse or horses, mule or muies, ox or osen, on or across any part of the curbstones or pavements, under a penalty of TWO DOLLARS for each and every horse, mule or ox so led or driven as foresaid. And any person or persons driving or running any wagon or wheeled carriage, s!ed or sleigh on or across said curbing or pavement shall be subject to a fineot TWO DOLLARS for each and ever such offence. The .fine in all cases provide ! for in this Ordinance Bhill be recovered on the information of any citizen or borough of.icer al! fines so collected to be applied for the use of the Borough. Provided, That the provi-ions of this ordinance shall not apply to persons leading or driving across pave ments to have access to their stables or lots. W. DAVIS, Burgess. Attest S. IT. Davis, Clerk. mar.a-3t.J IN COMMON PLEAS of CAMBRIA COUNTY. Commonwealth vs. William Lavkutv and .TAMfs Lavkrty No. 9), June Term, lriGi). Fi. Fa. And now, 19th March, 10. on motion of Geo. M. Rcide, E?q.. Jos. M' Donald appointed an Auditor to report dis tribution of the instalments of rent arising in the case to and among tbo lien creditor! ac cording to their priority ot lien. By the Court. In pursuance of the above appointment, toe Auditor named will sit at his office in Ebena- bu.-g, on Thursday. Ulst April, 1870, at one ! o clock, p m., when and where parlies interest ed iaay attend if they think proper- - - JOSEPU'M DON ALD, Auditor. : Ebcnsbur, March 31, 1S70. 3t Ejjc ofs 'gtpartmenf.' S&JITOSE, Sjppove. my little lady, . .. Your doll should break her head: Could you make it whole by crying 'Til your eyes and nose were red? And wouldn't it be pleasanter To treat it a3 a joke, Anil say you're glad 'twas Dolly'j And not your head that broke ? Suppose you're dressed for walking. And the rain comes pouring down, Will it clear off any socner Because you scold and frown? And wouldn't it I nicer For yon to smile than pon And so make sunshine in the house When therms none without? Suppose your tas-k, my little man, Is very, hard to get, Will it make it any easier Pur you to sit and fret ? And would u't it be wiser Than wailing like a dunce, To go to work in earnest , . Aud learn the thing at once ? Suppose that some boys have a horse, And some a conch and pair. Will it tire yon less while walking To say "it isn't fair V And wouldn't it be nobler To keep your temper sweet. And in your heart be "thankful You cau Walk upon your feet ? Stippo-c the wojIJ dtin't please you, Nr the way some people do. Do you think the whole creation Will be altered yit fi.r you? And isn't it. my boy or girl, The wifst, bravest plan. Whatever comes, or doesn't -come, " To do the l est you can ? Sales, lutcbcs, guueiofes, tfc. -- - FfXERAL SEC runs. Our ride with the undertaker came about in this wise: The undertaker un dertook to undertake for a friend wf ours, and as he was goin up town in a car riage on a preliminary visit to Greenwood, ho cll'ered to take us along as fur ns our office which wss rt3 far as wc should care to go with him or any other under taker in the direction he was bound and we aceepted, the offer. We had hardly got under way, when the undertaker pointed to an elegant brown stone man sion, and remarked : "You see that house there ? Wei', I had the noalest job in that house you ever saw. They were twins girls thir teen years old lovely ; died of scarlet fever ; both expired at the same moment ; sentimental case born together and died together ; impressive lesson very. The parents were inconsolable and rich. Left the whole tiling to me ; no limit on ex pense ; that's the sorr. I did my best; ot up original designs ; great chance, you see twins, both in one coffin ; united in life and united in death ; senliment grief ; lots of 'tin' ; and my taste and experience It was grand ; handsome spectacle ; hand pome profits ; handsome thins all around." Iy this time we had turned into Sixth avenue, nnd t lie undertaker, pointing to a comer grocery of large dimensions said : "The man who keeps that grocery has a good noiion of a funeral. It was seven years ago, and his only daughter. .Site was eighteen ; was engaged to be married; lover in the city government, and the lather expected a contract. Rut the girPs death -upset everything, pickings and steal ings included. It was a terrible blow, and the funeral was accoiding; no expense spared ; lire company out in full fwrce ; big thinj;." Here the undertaker bowed to a fat man who passed us in a buggy, and then said, by way of explanation : "I buried his wife four months ago. Have been friends ever since." A few moments afterwards wo struck into liroadway, where it crosses the Sixth avenue, and as we passed Twenty-ninth street the undertaker pointed to that thor oughfare on the east, and said : T once had n big thing over there. Rich couple ; hated one another ; man died ; wife wanted to make a big show of grief ; made over $2,000 clean cash on the job. Rut the man was handsomely buried ; he couldn't have asked for any thing better ifhe'd known what was going on. True alFoction and real heart grief are good for our profession ; but, after all, there's nothing like rich people that hate one another, lor an undertaker." "How so!" we asked. 'Vhy, it stands to reason and human nature. Here's a couple that have lots of money and misery. They wish one an other dead, and all at once oil one of 'em goes. The other's kind a frightened, and wants to show grief, and having no grief to show, falls back on nothing but show, and depends on the undertaker to bring out the emblems of sirrow in stunning style. Don't you see ?" We pretended not to sae, affected to disbelieve that such things ever occur in real life, whereat the undertaker waxed warm, and exclaimed: . ; ' "Rut I tell yoa such cases are- common. Here, driver, turn down Fifth auenue. -Come now, Pil show you where one of those very cases did occur. You see that house there, just out of the avenue, in Twenty-second street ? Yell, not many years ago a rich man lived and died there. He and his wife bated eachother like poi son. She had a lover. That always makes tn alters worse for,, tbo family, but j better for the undertaker. You see. the more a woman's glad her husband's dead, the more shq'JL, pretend to be '.sorry, and the more mon.tihe,l! spend. When that lady's husband died there were bad whis pers around, but she smothered 'cm all under the mourning gear of the funeral. It was immense! I made well, no mat-' ter. It won't do to be too particular in th'cse things. Evil communications cor rupt good manners, you know ! Ha, ha. ha!" , "How do things go," we asked, "when a wife dies, leaving an inconsolable hus band with an outside sweetheart, to mourn her loss ?' . "That depends a good deal on the man. Some men are such brutes, so coarse and gross, that ihey have no sentiment, nor any sense, of propriety either. Koch men are bad for u. They tumble their wives into the grave without regard to appear ances. Rut if the husband is sentiment al, or scary, . or a hypocrite, he comes down handsomely to death, and gives Wis wife a gorgeous burial. I've sometimes thought that the presence of the sweet heart at the funeral helps things silong, as the husband would naturally want to see how handsomely she'd be buried when her turn came ; but that may be merely my f.uicy. Rut, anvhovv," said the utid'er- l taker, with solemn emphasis, "I tell you, there s wickedness in this town !" "How do you like fo bury n public man say an alderman ?" we asked. "Oh, that's low !" answered the under taker, in tones of disgust. "Still," he ad ded, "if you know your men, and the city government takes hold to 'pay decent re spect to the memory of the distinguished deceased,' and ail that, you can sometimes make n pretty good thing out of it. Rut, as a general tiling, the city fellows grab everything, and don't leave an outsider even a nickel show." "And what do you mean by a 'nickel show' f , "I mean that they di't leave a feltaw even a nickel to show for his share of the damages." "Ah, I see. Rut between you nnd me, now, how would j-oti like to have the hur rying of Tweed, or Sweeney, or Ojky Hall, or nil of them together?" "Oh, wouldn't I like it ! Vhcu them fellows die, there'll be high times in the city treasury.. There'll be no end to com mittees of appropriations; but their final burial will be a cheap thing for the city in the end, no matter what if costs. I should like to be in that pool. Have y ou any inll-icncc with the ring? If you have why you understand? I'm liberal in these matters, and always stand by my friends till I bury them." We disclaimed having any influence with the ring, a? the garrilous undertaker set us down in Printing House square, opposite the Sun building, and went his way to Greenwood. As we walked to our office it occurred to us, as it will .doubtless occur to many'of our readers, that undertakers as well as craves, have secrets in their keeping, and also that an undertaker does not keep a secret anything like so well as a grave does Y. )'. Sun. Osr. of. "Old Auk's'' Stories NV.vek Rki oiik. in Pkint. We arc indebted to a fi tend for a story of Lincoln's which we have never before seen in print. It was t-ld to him by Mr. Davis, of Hil'sboro, III , who served with Lincoln in the Legislature of that State. On one occa sion "Old Abe" came into his room, and was "reminded of a story', to the follow ing purport : He was called to an ont-of-the-way place to attend fo some legal business in the midst of a terribly cold winter. His client was an old Kentucky hunter who kept a number of dogs. The hunter met him very cordially, but remarked that he was sorry he could cive him no better ac commodations, as his house was a one story 1c: hu. After supper, Lincoln was put to bed in the loft, where he could dis tinguish everything going on below. About midnight an enormous hound be gan to howl, and pretty soon Lincoln heard the wife's voice, saying "get up, Dick, and stop that dog's noise ; he'll wake up Mr. Lincoln." The old man turned uneasily in bed and muttered in cohetenily, "Oh, shut up, Peg ; Lincoln can sleep's well as we can." Soon the dog howled again, and the woman re peated her request, attending it with some lively punches until the oil man was worried into rising, though very regret fully. He went into the yard with no clothing on except his shirt, and was gone seme time. Peggy's curiosity was arous ed to know the cause of his absence and finally, after many preliminary moves and exclamations, she rose herself, and stepped out of the house in the. same undressed -condition. Lincoln peeped through between the logs, and saw the old man holding the hound'by the ears. He was hailed by the loving ppouse .with, "Why, what in goodness gracious sake arc you doing !" The hunter's response was short and direct: "I'm holding this d d dog 'till he freezes to death, so that ho won't keep Lincoln awake any longer." Pcnxii's "He smole a ghastly smile," and "Many a wink he wunk," have been jmitated by a minstrel wit, who said, 4You sneezad a snooze and I said I snoozj iU . Ilovr many apples did our first parents eut in Eden ? Eve 8 and Adam 2. A-rERlLUUSRIDB, I was camping one day last spring at the well known spot on the Requeue River, Setting-pole Rapids, N, Y. Af ter a good breakfast had been disposed cf, with an angler's appetite, I lit my pipe with a feeling of gratitude that I was an other reason permitted to come anderjjy my favorite fly-fishing. I tookmv roi and strolled down to the rocks iri front 'of the carap. My companions had 'gtretcliej themselves on the eior.nd to re.id'and smoke. Guides were engaged in consuni- ! ing their usual quantum of trout and pork, i Forest End river were very quiet, except j the rushing of the water over the. rocks. The great city I had left a few days before seemed a long way off, with its noise, j confusion and cares hardly real, so h-tle ! it intruded on my contente"drie.s of mind, j I commenced throwing my flies as much ! from habit as from interest in the sport, j and soon fell into a mood of drearain of : those who had encamped with me in the same place years before. I did iiot fake many fish,' pebbly owing to my indUilr ence, and thought best, to move down stream a few rods to a jim of saw-logs left stranded by the late spring drive. They, seem pei fectly firm in their hold t-n the rocks, a? though likely to stay there until the next yenr's high water. J step ped on one of the largest, which though denuded of bark, nnd made somewhat slippery by occasional spray ! ashing over if, looked safe enough to startd on, if cue was only used not to fall into the boiling rapids that rufched swiftly past. Reing accustomed in my fishing experience, like the vicked, to 'stand on slippery places,' I poised myself for a cast. The first few casts failed fo get a rise, and I resumed my dreaming as before I was suddenly awoke by the rise of a monster lake trout weighing 28 pounds; I started with astonishment to see so large a fish take my lly ; aud in bracing myself to strike the hook firmly into hi3 mouth, I started the log on which I stood from its fastening, and seated myself with more promptness than grace. As with Mother j JIamlet's guests, it was no time to con- j s'uh r 'the orcbr of goipg Away we dashed down the dangerous rapids at a i 2-17 gait, the trout taking the lead and j holding hard on the mouth. It was cer- ! faitdy a game, but fearful tenm to sit Lr- j hin J and drive over so rough a course. I shouted fo my companions as soon as the ' fright of running tho rapid- was passed, j but my voice was cither drowned by the ! louder noise of the wafer, or else they were asleep. Mill on we went. 1 re member as though seen yesterday, though not seen for years, Fish-Hawk Rapids and the Piercefield tails towards which I was rapidly approaching. Ah, wonlJ those lazy fellows in camp never miss me, and come to my rescue f I soon gave up all hope cf succor in that direction ; if I was missed from the rock they would j think that 1 had become tired of fishing i and strolled into the force t, where I was ' too old a woodsman to be lost. On we i went, the trees, seeming fo fly psst me j as we entered Fish Hawk Rapids, passing them as those above, without being un seated. Though my hair was on end, and large drops of perspiration stood on my face, I could not help thinking of the com ical figure I presented with no one but the birds to enjoy it ; I who had killed so many trout, as if fo revenge their death, was at last to b drawn to destruction by cne of the nunYber. I thought of all the mad races I ever expeiienced or read cf John Gilpin, Mazepp.i tied to the wild horse on the plains of Tartary ; my own boyhood rides on untamod colts, whose natures seemed akin to the oceim by the side ot which they were pastured ; I thought of a ride I once took cn a locomotive through the Allegheny Mountains, where the road bed could not be seen, but tho. wheels seemed only to cling to the sides of the mountains. Rut I had no time for things s remote. The roar of the great fall was already in my ear. I would have broken my line, and by letting the fish escape slackened the speed to the current of the stream, which seemed very swift when death is at the foot of a high fall which is so very near, but the line hail become fastened to a knot on the log beyond my reach, in such a manner that I could not detach it. On we plunged, entering the swift water above the falls, the spray dashing in my face ; I gave myself up tor lost , I j thought over some prayers as wc were about to take the last fearful plunge over ! the brink: the trout dashed madly to tho left, drawing tho log into a quiet eddy, : and as it swung round, it lodged on a rock, j I vva3 saved ! In an iistant I cleared the : line, leaped on shore, landed the fish after a half hour's struggle. My guide, wheti-j lie came to ine snore icrcatj mo to uinner, noticed the jim of log9 was missing, n.3 well as myself, quickly divined the cause of my absence. 'The Flying Fish sprang over the waters' aa never boat did before. As I sat on the shore among the trees, I saw the old man comini long before he saw me. His hat was off ; his long hair flying in the wind , I shouted, and he came where I sat, holding up the fish, which reached above my head. His first exclamation, apparently forgetful of how I got there, when he saw me safe, was : 'That's an almighty big trout, but I spear ed a bigger one in Fish Creek last fall.' If any one should doubt my story (why should they ?) they atill can see the log on .he Ra-Tjette, or ak Cort. Saisjo. ADl'lCU TO TOISG 3IE.. If yon go to call on a young lady and she crochets diligently rdi the evening, a only says "yes" and "no," you ''can nd away about nine or a quarter past withcot breaking Hny.cf the rules of -etiquette. - , Den,'t jmake & jbuiucss of cpuing any body ,yery extensively w'sJu-.ut, yeu want io go in.ior xeeps, and by idl mea:,s avoid -?vei!.,!)? - JV. : mething in .r....., ".'."v'-'J. spooney, ano it is just as natural Tor fellows and girls to get together and court Sunday j I ham'tnny nore'lJca'thdn that'e evening as it m for a hen to set. Many j that my words will be'enny effect, tsni. a promising youth, in the full vigor of i shuily fU that port ion of the human Ace manhood, has been dragged info premta- ! called lu vers.' ' -.-: s - 1 turematrimonial decay by an innocent I Wlm might :as well try to stop A loko bunday evening call. j inoiiye under .full bed way by presentin' , If you are .invited to a "sociable" or j his kota. tale In the kowkecher az to ajr make yourself Eick by smoking your ' endeavor to make a pare of benited luvera big brothers bipe and stay at home, and bei.cve.thev j ain't rite. ' winn you are caaeu upon to suII.t. dj it tii ! with alacrity, r.-nd think ho.v happy you are compared to the miserable victims who arc. decoyed into attending. ' Djn't court but one pirl at a time The most harrowing srjht I know of to a sensitive mind is to see a -yonng man fnfl of christian fortituJe and a 'noble ambi tion, trying l0 crt two girl? at ones. " ' Don't . diift into rnatritaony unl.j-s yog want to get wretched ; ani don't' uiarry II at a poor gin un;osS sue lias rn;ney afloat. Don't show any syrntoms.of f but tell tha young lady vou were riti up last night with a friend cf yours who had the small-pox, and you think you'll go home and get a little sleep. .Don't imagine 'it .looks smart to loaf around billiard halls,' smoke cheap ci"ars at a high price, and swallow slops" at twenty cents a glass It would show more talent on yo;2.- part to retire into lha nearest prave-yard and study last year's almanac. And don't imagine vou are a hardened bummer' just because your lather lets you carry a night key. Suine young mea will go to a band concert on tha common, smoke a cinnamon cigar, and go home thoroughly convinced that tliey have made a heavy night of it, t?nd ough.t to be looked after. . If you ask a young lady to m.irry y3;, aud she says she would rather be excused, den't excuse her. jon i m-trry lor money. jt vou are engaged 1 1 a young lady who has a for tune, tell her that you won't marry her unless fhe gives it all away to the poor, and goes to making vests. Money is sure to bring unhappine.-s. -. r . -. If yon are engaged to a young lady, . uorx. itm. m.iiij pi-r-ciii uoie.-M it's a pictfy sure thing, fur if anything happens, sue is sure to return your pres ents. A friend of mine lately received by t 'i . 11 ou Hie tan. rig on a young lady, under ordinary. circumstances a 1 ; 'nU!1 l-lc 0l,i tu-i. go out ot the room about j in du kors cf lime "fetch "port," if ' r,iT; ii'i:l,;ck with n a.bmr it.. 1? i r J . i '. . I - " . - '" 1 j R'.'on-.iu.my on i.is .guam against a; . i.i..h.e u jm.r ni:nj mere s a cousoiraev ; with one t-ii! tn th.- r iMV,..-rT . express three p:iir of decayed corsets, a ; the paint and the-gilt on the outride of lot of initial note paper, a faded hoqnet, n j your prise, but lern whether fhe is sce fatted calf, a pair of odd e.loves,and a , worthy, and if ..-ho is, get her wipers, sign broken heart, and ho is now looking for i the bill of ladeu, and launch out into life, another gi: I of the same siz?. j a. happy cuss. Please don't ge married in church and have it described in half a column of daily news. It is tho cheapest sort of notoriety. See if you can": go courting without tumbling j-or:r shirt bosom. Ifcourtiu' was a criminal Lffence, 1 have seen evidence n a young man's shirt bosom to hang him. Remember that ignoran-.M nnd conceit go i.a ni in nanu, arm mat -clieck nnd I 1.1..., 1. lmpii'ienco are twin proiiiers. Young men now a days arc hardly worth bringing up, and, as near as I can find out. they seem to be governed by about the following rules : It is better to receive a sm;ili salary and be constantly in debt than to earn a larwe salaryby doing something that isa't genteel. It is more blessed to invite yoniself to d- . . . , , . i ? ...... "nn c riinir. inner with a faend. than running llie The man placchl it at once under the bor risk ot bavins to invito him. : t - - i . i risk of having to invite him. If he asks me to stop over night with him nnd take breakfast, it is my duty to stop several nights and cat several breakfasts to show him that I appreciate his kindncs0. One ol 1 lriend whom you can borrow money of is worth a dozen new ones who are doubtful. A 1 1 a i ; r Cash. An elderly gentleman of unimpeachod veracity, though by the way F-miewliiii addicted to story telling, relates t he-follow ing ; During the early days cf tins town, before carts came into vogue, tie was ac customed to haul his wood b- the aid of an old black mare he kept in his service. Now the old marc's harness consisted of a breast plat and trace's, . made of the untanned hide of an ox. At the close of a rainy day, he went to his wool lot, for the purpose of procuring a log of wood. After having cut a log which he j idgcd might bo a smart load for his beast, lie fastened her. to nue end, with her head homeward, and gave her (he rein. The old . marc continued her course till she arrived at the door, when, to his surprise he discovered, that owing to the great extensibility of the trace,hey had Vc di ed the whole distance without breaking or removing tho load an in"h. Throwing down his axe he went to the beast, aril removinri the harness from her, threw tho breast plate over a pst that stood near the door, and went to bed. Upon rising next morning he found that tho heat of the mornu-tr sun had so operated upon tbo contractihility of the traces as to b'ing tha wood up to tho door ready for hewing and ?f'.i:iig. . .fOhli Li I LI jigs op Courllns., . I don't knoA-rz I Iwfe'chfry t-is:nrH pay n word on this subject, as -forfy-skorfi year have torn 'and ' porve sine? Pve-lmd any "ctpeiuince tg ti luver'; ' but dooty urges ei'toi'wank tha -youth -and ,1 I ..Icn't .'."pose tha .immortal guse (h: mf-fi SSV( l?,ra f..irn. 1kdI,.,,.1.I... j wuntd saved lio!p orn. destruckshan ! bed eanv idea cf the importance of be , iMe.m inut Hour ; sttil she kakled, am'. her name is handed ,lwn In MBfr " . Courtia hke sailini is delightful b'r- ! , where yn hey an open see, tho wiru! j in yur favor, nnl you are1 "boulTu' oh.r ; tord the pert ot matrimony 7ly Five not? In coii;t:n, however there' is somes j times ur,cr storms to ' wether tharv even j failors cver-drempt ov ; - heJ wind n ! i heavy sees in .the eliane c? Hern pirints ; j hid'n roi$ and reefc.in the form of otbe j j'jvc.-s,! wi'Kii, some ckance ;otr ..being dmv ontu a U-c shore by, .the gal herself. Yet uver wili he i ingers I - r " t ... iuu 1 ether on his bg k crr"a?s. : A rrr;ite mrnnv Iuvera ti"?n wriwi - j they think Uiat if they wunce ct pin ted for the phi's hart, it is em)fT sj they hist up -Milker, crowd on sale, and the fust they kno they n,- intu the breakers, or va5' out to eiv 'under jary m,i?.t., with the kotisolin refleckshun that thi cruise is up. . ' - . If the gurl Is an orphan, and willin, or if she is qv age, with twenty 5 thousand in her own rite, it is safe, kotnparatively. to run alungsido and grapple her flt wunc I R it unless yu hev. made up yur mind i to support yurself, partly, at least, never j undertake this, mode ov attack onto' less than the abuv sura." ' j I h.:v enm to the konkhiM-r, nficr '7ynine years of eardul study, that it ia j better to run nwny with a 'twenf v-flvo ! thousand gal than tu try tr live on luv j and a st?rn parim'B kusses exklusively. To be successful in coimifl, . then. , tho luver mint him lu navigate hi.- bark intu the gai's ; pnd let me tell yu, fighin yuth, yu iev got tu "cratn up" on navigation to do this - Alter a luver wur.ee gits over thesn obsfrnckshuns into smooth water and i im n-ii: ir, nu can sau into married ii!6 j like a streak of fitenin' down a chestnut tree. Don't O mellow yuth, fall in luv with Adieu 1 Two Ct,-r.ioT.:s Xkedlts. The ICinj of Prussia recently visited a needle in ami -fu-toiy in hi- kingdom in order to see what machinery, combined with tho human hand,' could produc?. Ho Wan shown a number ff s-nr-erfTno i.rA lo ..v... t ti0usan Is of which toge iher did not weih ln!f an ounce, and marvelling how such minute objects could he pierced ; witn an eye Rut he was to see that. in this re spect even something still finer and mora perfect could . be created. The borer that is, the workman whose business it in to bore the eyes in these needles asked for a hair from the monarch's head. It was readily given, and with a smile. ing machine, made a hole ;n ;r with tha greatest care, furnished with a thread, and then handed the"sin!ulnr needle to tho astonished King. Tho second curious needle is in thlpos. session, of Queen Victoria. It was made L 'he celebrated needle manufactory at Reddish, and represent the column " ;f Tr. j in in miniature The well known Roman column is ridorned with numerous scenes in sculpture, which immortali Trojan's heroic actions in war. On this diminutive needle scenes in the life of Queen Yictoria arc represented in relief, but so finely cut and so small that it re quires a mpgriifying 'glasF to see them. The Victoria needle can, moreover, bo opened. It contains a number of needles of smaller size, which are t qurilly adorned with scenes in relief. A Pt.rcKV Convf.rt So rapid is their way of doing things in Chicago that, when a man makes up his raind"to reform (rather a tuugh job), it becomes itcportant to fi him promptly. It is therefore necessary, at times, to cut a hole in tho ice to perform the solemn ceremony of baptism. On one of these occasions a convert, who had felt the necessity of that rite, was immersed, nnd on rrminor ..nt j was asked by the mini-Ier, "flow do yon j feel now, brother?" "Rcttor," wn fl j reply, "put me in npain." The-reqest j was complied with, and after h sword dip, ihe O'lesi'ion wa repealed, Iow do f yon feel von: f" "Better, B'tlr " vvas tha j respoii-e in a solemn !n of voico-p.Mg d-vd vny (jo gnrss now ! ' , j Such is the plucky ririt cf the Chic.T-g I convert I '""'
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers