1 II. A. 31'1'IKC, Editor and Publisher. HK IS A: FRKEMA3I WHOM THE TRUTH 'SIAIiES FKBK, A.SD . ALU . AKU SLA VKI 11ESIDK. - Terms, $3 per jear ia advance. 'VOLUME 3. EB ENS BURG, : PA:,. THURSDAY, MAY 13, 1869: ,;; . ' NUMBER 16- Ayer's Hair .'Vigor, Fcr restoring Gray Hair to lis natural Vitality t and Color. A dressing which is at ouco agreeable, healthy, and effectual lor preserving the hair. Faded or gray hair is soon restored Jfv -i i; ... 'fatty lo original color V..'.-ri,-. freshness of youth. :&Je?r TLiu hair is thick-" ttieJ, filling hair checked, and bald i.css though not . always, cured ,v its u.s'. Nothing can restore the L:t'r where the follicles are destroyed, ,r tLe phin.b atrophied and decayed. II :r such, as remain can be saved for i: i':i!ne?.i by this application. " Instead t r.ju'iu the haii with a pasty scdi t. it v. ill keep it clean and igorou.-. i:-v: .-jt-IoLial lue v.ill prevent the hair turiiinj gray or falling off, and fi-t-L'quiiutly prevent - baldnesR. Erec tho.rO deleterious substance, which m-i!-..' so.r. f preparations d;ms;erous aud ii.i.u-.u.s ;o the iKiir, tue v ior can !;!' lit! '.i: but net harm it. ' If wanted u.-ri'iy ivr a HAIR DRESSING, wyh'vi c'?e '::n he found so desirable. Ci'.i.'rtiuisi ueitlier oil nor dye, it does r.l wl.itc; cambric! and yet laita l 'li ; ti-.i t!u Iiir, giviug it a rich glossy !i.-ut: a grateful perfume. Prepared by Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., J'r. .i':r:-;. iirD Asaliticai. Cueiusts, LOWi:LI 3IAS3. Pxuoa si.oo. Tur sa'.e by It. J. LLOYD, Agent. Eeiis'jiug I Ayer's Cherry Pectoral, I Por Diseaaoa of tha Tiirr-.t and Lun, fcuc'.i its Oov.'sh':. Colds, "Whooping ; Cough, iironeiijtis, Aitimii, cad Consunitioa. ; ProbabTr nt'vi-r bfir.! ui Wh m !io!o t:.-'friy of t Tncnicinf , ha.- .".nvtiiui;r uu i Hiijfiv mvj 'odrt ;:!y 1 i,'n tlif conlMnre uf iuanji.l, this cM'ri!i',,jt roinwily fur pulutonary c:ptainf.. T.'j: uiii.'ii a Uniir I mi'ii it hai ri-ii h;jrhr ami hijrhpr iu tfn.-ir o.tjuia f t .oi!. nx it Ims 1.i'-oimi lic'ter kiiouu. lu imtlorin ctv i-ai tiT -lnl powut to cure tin- various aAW'tioos i f tii.: !un- hiiJ throat, liafu muJf i: kiv.nvii .in a ie 1 L. jiix';i-?for a-r.tiutt them. WiiiJc .n'.::pli-il to 1 m.l'Vr turuu ufuiMiUje and ti yomijr 1j i l I ion , it u I hi i -'niHfr ti:ni (lie most ciloctanl mintty Uiaf can J wr a ;r inoif-iit viiu.iipt2on, uiul !ho dan- I'Kun. a!i."rioiii r. iit ttiront :inci !i:n; . A n p .--I visioii HaiiMt MidiU'n att:l"kj f C'rouji. it l.Ultl o I.Hi,t on h.iuil in cvury family, anil Ir.detrit :.s all .M tii'i'.'-i Mib.io' t ti c-ji'is and coucrlis, iV.l I :. U-j'W.i.ii-Uw.lli ::.i- UiiUdolc fir lacm. I Ai'l: !:': 't'UN'd t it-:3 uinj.t inn i-i Uiouuilt iu I rt;-a -;.!! pr-:i! number.'' ut case". llio Uis- I ri-i'.iif.l -Utl. have tcea comifl'-ly vuivd. f ': 1 t.i" p:.l!uiit r"SUivJ t j M.und ui'.-ii.i" by UiC ! tiTn; J'lrttirat. So to:;!pli"te i-f i: ; jnut'lury ,m -i- ti'.- ii. .TirdiTs of tlu I-nii-" :tud T!ii..u, that ' ! cli-iiiiiue Uiciu iei t it. Ulicn noiU J !..,; i ! . coti!J reach tii-m . umiiT Oc Cktrrj J'vc i i.'t il t.'.vy su'-:1. and tl'ai'pca;". I Sinyrv Witt J'ubtlc ijirdiire Gi:J jri-cat 5 tLV lijii fi oiil it. 5 i. always rt'U'vod ?iul o.lou v.byl'v J ,r. .'.I ijv it. J H, cm Ii Hit f. pemerul'.v ctirrd by taking Uie 5 i hi rril i ' ,-! Ill nlll'ltl ttlld lVHU-!lt tUft:. J ;. tc.ieiaP.y i't virtues known that we need i. us 'ei'tiii"nt." of Uieni here, or l nioi 1 i.'i.'ii x-nure tXtH puuiio Lull itj tjttauut: re fuiiv t Ayer's As:iie Cure, I'.ir Tcvst aril Aeue, Inform ;ttsnl jTever, Vaver. I1ernitt)it Pcvr, Dumb A ie. Feriol'C.al or Bdiotiit Ftvfr, &c, on I irii'ecd all the affeef.ioji wliion arse Iron nalaTiO'-is, luaraii, or LiiiiiiaUo po;scsas. .i i! nirri" In);'. It d" Cn-r. vi'l df r.t f. CrtnisTiiisyr iicii h-r Arfiiir. Qtiin'nc, r.mnuM), i'r si:y other iiiincr:'! or pni-(iniiH Militance wh'ifvf'-, tt" ta imvie ini-ire any parient. The i :: u;fr .-oiO i"iM r!r"u-p of its ciirep in tue njnic dis ' arc litcndlv beyund account, nd lu licve iw .u a paratlct in the hifory of Anii" medicine. ' !.-p. i !" irrntiilpil by the acknowlfi'.nu'r.f we iy 'i'ivo of the r.nlwal eitrt'o t'lTci'tcl in ! i itisi ! e : '' t. Tiit-re i.tjir rvmedtos luul wholly f;iiltt. !.., cii'iiatcd iwron, filiier vouidfnt in, or '-av-'l;ii!r thvor.Kli inlr.sint ! localities, will lie jit l -.l.t by takmis- Uj AtiLE CVltf. dady. For T.itrr Contplnint , arising from Unidity 'f the Liver, it l au exccllmit remedy, sUinulaliug t' ' Liver iulo blUv activilv. Fit li.liotM IiorclerK mid Liver Complaint", it 14 -'in excellent . renidy, produciue manv tmlv re luarkalilo eure, hero other tiM-dieine had lailcil. i'reparcd by IR. J. C. A IE it A. Co.. 1'iwtic.nl -'...I Aa.ilytic&l Chemists, Lowell, Mass., ami 6old -U i u-imi ihc worid. -..-- VCCE, $t OO "I'EIt KOTTJCE. . A.i IIhik J. Llotp, Ebk.vsbubo. ' b rlTOir.S NOTICK Margaret E. ' i-tro hooker ml Geo. V". Strobecker. for 'e of Archibald Mcl'aJJen, ts. San.nel F. (rmte. la the Court of Common Pleji of -mbria count?. No. 1, March Term. 1SCJ Vino. Ejpum. Aud new. April 7th. leG9, on mouon ot K. P. Tiernev. NVni. H; Sechler ap- ' f'T'.rd Auditor to Jigtribute fuuas in tue hands ! ' C S'aerifT krinluir from th ale of d.feud- real estate on above stated wiit. By the t 'ium. Frim the Record. Certified 7th AnriL . . - - v- J. K. UiT, Pi"9th. 'tee Is liPreh? r-5?rn. that for th nurrnlM tteailm; to the above appointment I will t my ofih-e, In the Borough of Ebensbnrg, i i.vrmiat, th13th Jay of iiav next, at a i " c'04 . p ax., wUeu nd where thoe interested laaitud. WM. It. SECHLEIt. - Liis!.urS( April 22, I8C9.-3t.' Auditor. , u WTO US NOTICE. TL under-' jSpne-i As'litor, appointed by the Orphans. Court of Cnmbria coutity to report distribution of fundi in tie hands of J). A. Luther. Execu tor ol the Estate of Jacob Luther." deceased, V. vw?tr T his fiual ac-0lint, conlirracd lOUi , ft f ,') ncrthy I'OtiSes all personeTnter" eBii tuu he win attend to the. dutiea of said appointment at his office in Kbeu.bur-. ou KaiOAT , 14th day of JJay,lW, at 2 o'clock, p. m.. when and bere they mu.t present their Ha.ms or Le dc . aired from romiU in for a h,re of the fund. vu. U. bECIILER. bensburg, Apiil2-2,lbC93t. Auditor. irALUARLK I W . " ---'A-.la.i 1 1 I IV 1- oV r Bnnvn - u c? nd K0UR ACRES ktone Sprint "ouso. a lot of choice appl"ai.d tae rremtft.. Ur further particultn appl? to' borough. KAOHIX DETDSll. 18(5!): mm TRABE. 1809. T atTk now prepared to offer SUPERIOR' INDUCEMENTS ? ' TO CASK PURCHASER Or " TIN. SIIIT-I1I & COPPER WARE . . Kl'ITl&K AV. WHOLESALE OR RETAIL JJy stock conuiit in part of every varioty of Tin, Sliect-Iron. COPPER AND BRASS WARES, . , IlNAMELLED AND PLAIN SAUCE-PANS. BOILERS. &c, COAL SHOVELS. MINE LAMPS, OIL CANS. UOUSEFURNTSIIINQ HA11D . . WAlii: OF EVE11Y KIND. .' -- .Spt' Antl-Duit HEATING and COOKING STOVES, EXCELSIOR COOKIS'G STOVES. NOULEnilUMPII an i) PA It LOU COOK- -. ;;' ; . , : ING STOVES, ' Aud any Cooking Stove desirsJ I will get when ordered at manufacturer's prices. Ovid Stove Plate aiul Grates. &c., for re pairs, on hand for the Stoves I tell ; other will bo ordered when wanted. Particular -- - attention given trv - Spouting, Valleys and Conductors, all of which will ho made out of bvit rnatj rial and put, up by competent workmen. Lamp Burners, Wick cud Chimneys WllOI.KSAI.K OK EFTTAIL. I wuuM call particular attention to tbe Liht IIoUj- Burner with Glass Cna, for giving :nore light tLan any other in n?., A'.ko, tLe Parron Burner, fur Crude Oil. SPE'.XCr:iflS SIFTL'R ! It rtc r.itwenos it!f. SUGAR KETTLES AND CAULDRONS ' of all izs Conhtanilv lit Laud. . Special attention jirtsu to Jobbing in Tin, Copper and Shcet-Irsn. "at Iowcbi possible raU. " - r'j Wholksai.b a I eh chants Ltsts now usa-iy, and will be sent on application bj mail or in perun. , .- . . IlKj.jnj to ree all mv old ct:tomr And m.nv tie? onen this Pp'ing, I return toy inoht sincere thanks fcr the very literal pa trobae I have already received, tii;J will endeavor to plea? ail who may call, wiittu er they buy or uvL ' ' - - - - FUANCIS W. HAY. Johnstown, March 7. 18(J". tf2.dllA.T Reduction lv Prices ! Vi-J5 'IX) CASH ULYEHS! at tisk s:n::ssiLr;G nfll'SE-ri'RiMSIHSU STORE. Phu nndersiced resjiecifully informs the citizens of Elxftihbur and the public gener ally that be baa made a creat reduction iti prices to CASH PUYI'IlS. My btock will consist, in part, of CooUir-y, Parlor and Ueul vkj Stores, of the nio&t p jpu'r kinds ; Tin ware of evtrv description, of my own man ufacture ; Hardioare of all kind, such as L ;ks, SciewR, Butt Hinges, Pub . llinj;es, Shutter Hinjres, B(ltF,Tr n and Nails, Win dow Glass. Putty, Table Knives and Forks, Catvinpr Knives and Forks, Meat Cutter. Apple Parcrs, Pen and Pocket Knives in great variety, t-'chsors. Shears, I'azor and Strops Axed, Hatchets. Hammers, fiorii.g MacLiiic, Augers, Chissela, Planes, (k)m iat;es, S.uares, Files, IJafp., Anvils, Vis;es, Wrsuches. Kip, Panel and Crot-Cut Saws. Chains of all kinds. Shovels. Spaiies, Scythes and Snaths, Rakes. .rkf. Sleigh Rells, Slioi Lasts; Pegs. Wax lir'u-tle. Clothes Wringers, Grind Stones. Patent MoUskcs Gates anil Measures, Lumber Slicks, Horse Nails, Hore Shoes, Cast Steel, Jlifle. Shot Guns, Itevo'vera, Pitols. Cartridges. Pow der, Caps. Lead, itc.. Odd Stove Plates, Grates and Fire Bricks. Well and Cistern Pumps aud Tubing ; Harness and Saddlery Ware of all kind ; Wvoilen and Willoio IPare in great variety ; Carbon Oil and Oil Lamps, Fish Oil, Lard Oil, Linseed Oil, Lubricating Oil, Rosin. Tar, Glassware, Paiuts, Varu'uh 6, Turpentine, Alcohol, A'c. FAMILY GROCERIES, such as Tea, Coffee. Sugars, Molasses, Sjr ups, Spices, Dried Peaches, Dried Apples, Fish, Ilominy, Crackers, Rice and Pearl Bailey; Soaps, Caudles; TOBACCO and CWAKS; Paint. Whitewash, Scrub, Uorse, Shoe. Dusting, Varnish. Stove. Clothes and Tooth Brushes, all kinds and sizes ; Bed Corda and Manilla Rope, and many other article at tbe lowest rates fi-r CASH. ' Qcj-House Soulinrf made, painted and put up at low rates for cash. A liberal discount made to country dealers buying Tinware wholesale. , GEO. HUMTLEY Ebensburfi, Feb. 23. 18C7.-tf. , QEORGE W. .YEaGEK, Wholesal and Retail Dealer In ' HEATING AND COOK STOVES OF EVEJtY DESCRIPTION,1 ' '' TIM. COPPER ASD SHEET-IRQS WARE ' Or HIS OWN MANUFACTURE, And GENERAL JOBBER in SPOUTING and all other work in his liue. :" Virginia Street, near Caroline Street, " ALTOOXA, PA, .-.. J ".l ':'.' The only dealer in citv having the rijrbtto ell the renowne.1 " PARLEY SHEAF" COOK S I'OVE. the most perfect, v. complete and eatisfaetory ... - tstove ever introduced -. , ; ... w the public.. . ,- . . STOCK' IiliiLNSC - FpCES-Low.; SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. TUE PliPEU'S DRITE. There's grim one-horse hearao in 'a jolly " round trot ; ' :' To the churchyard a pan per is going, I wot. The road it is rough, and the hearse has no " -springs. ; ' ' , ' t And hark t j tbe dirge, that the Ead driver - sings ' . J ; -' " " ; , .. . Rattle his bones over the stones, - lie's only a pauper, whom nobody owns. Oh, where are the mourners? alas! there are none ; " He has left not a gap in the world, now he's' gone, ' Nor a tear in the eye of child, woman or man . : ' To the grave with his carcass as fast as you cau.' . Rattle, &c. What a jolting acd creaking, and splaaLing . aud dia ! ' , -y- tt - -The whip how it crack and the wheels how they spin ! , . How the dirt, right and loft, o'er the hedges - . is hurled ! - . . . The pauper at L'ugth makea a noise iu the ; world. . . - . ;. Rattle, Ac. . , 1 ; , 1'oor . pauper 'defunct !. he has 'made some approach To gentility, now that he's stretched in a "coach, ' ' He's taking a drive in hi carriage at last, But it will not be long, if ho goes uu so fart. ' J Rattle, &c. But a trire to this strain, fr my toul it is sad, To think that a heart iu humanity clad. Should make. liko the brutes, such a deso late end, ' -Aud t'cpait from the light without leaving a . friend. . . ' Bear softly his bone over the stones, ' Though a pauper, he's one whom bis Ma ker yet owns. ales, Sfeffcjjfs, mtihUs, fit. A JIAEIVtl.LOrS STORY. An lunoctnt Com lt Predict! that Cirr.sa Mill not Grow over lila Grave -Tiie rroplucy VcilfiU. fFrom the Dublin University Magazine. In the year 1819 there was in the neighborhood of Montgomery an ancient manor house called Oakfkld, which, like many of those old structures, losing its original importance from tbe increased size and convenience of modern buildings, had been converted into a fiirtn houe. The late occupant, one Jumes Morris, had been au indolent and somewhat dissipated man ; the farm consequently fell into neg lect and became unprofitable, and he died in debt, leaving his wife and only daugh ter in possession of the place. . Shortly after his death the widow took into her employment a young man from Stafford shire, of the name of John Newton, the hero of this little Kory, who had been strongly recommended to her by her broth er; and well and faithfully did he dis charne his duties as bailiff, fully justifying the praise and recommendations she re ceived with hiiu. . lie was an utter stranger in this part of the country, eeemed studiously to shun all acquaintance with bis neighbors, and to devote himself exclusively to his' em ployer. He never left home but to visit the neighboiing fairs and markets, and lo attend his pai'uh church, where his pros euce was regular and his conduct devout. In short, though highly . circumspect : in his behavior on all occasions, he was a melancholy, reserved man, and even the clergyman of the parish, to whom he was always most respectful in his demeanor, entirely failed in his endeavor to cultivate an acquaintance with him. . The farm, under bis management, had improved and became profitable, and the circumstances of Mrs Morris were, by his assiduity and skill, both prosperous and flourishing. In this manner more than two years had passed, and the widow began to regard him more as a friend and benefactor than a servant, and was not sorry to observe her daughter's growing affection for him, which appeared to be reciprocated. , One evening in November, 1821, being detained longer than usual by business at Welshpool, ' Newton sot out . about six o'clock to walk home . to Oakfield. . It was an exceedingly dark night, . and he never reached homo again. Ilia family Uecame very anxious, and upon -inquiry early the following morning at Welshpool they ascertained that he had been brought back to that town not long after his de parture from it," by two men named Par ker and I'earce,, who charged him with highway, robbery, accompanied by, vio lence, an offense then punishable with death. At the trial at the next assize he was pronounced guilty, on the testimony of these two persons, which was clear and consistent throughout ; was 'Sentenced to be hanged and left for execution.'1 He employed no counsel and called no wit nesses in Lis defense ; but ; upon , Wing asked by the Juttge in the usual- form, 'If he had anything to say, why the sen tence of death fehould not be' passed, upon him," he made in substance, the following extraordinary speech: ' ' - "My Lord?, it is evident all I could say in opposition to such testimony would be vain and' hopeless. The witnesses arc men of respectability, ant their, evidence has appeared plain and conclusive, and my most, solemn protestation of innocencs could avail xne nothing.- . I have called no witneBses to 'character,"' and" upon, such evidence the jury could pronounce no ; oth er verdict. I blame them not.,-From iny Foul, tooi I forgive these men tipon whofd false testimony ' I have been convicted. But,' my Lord, ' I protest most : solemnly before thts-court, -before your' Lordshipl.. Short's spouse sounds splendid I --Sup-and, above aU, before that God in whose I pose" she should say sho ! . oho, shant f presence I must shortly Hppear, I am cn-; she sbant !'' , tirely guiltless of the crime for which I nra ! ' Soon Sanf spied Sophia starchinc shirtf. auout to suLcr. . I have produced no one ! is. i. sujr ucuun. a wo yeare have i scarcely passed since I came to-this coiin try, an utler t-anger. -I have made no acquaintance beyond the household " i!lT,hia.' r which ! have been employed, and I have J endeavored to discharge tny duties faith- iuiij, uotiesuy ana weiL - JVitnough I aare i not nope, and do not wish my lite . to j be ppaied, yet it is my devout anJ earnest aesire mat toe stain oi thia crime may ' not rest upon my name. I; devoutly ! hooe that mv iroo'd niisfrcf?3 ami Iipp t-?nd f 1 . . . ., ... r and excellent daughter may bb convinced that they have not harbored a 'highway robber. I have,7 tiietefore, in humble de votion, ollered a prayer to Heaven, and I believe it has been beard and accepted i venture io assert tnat it l am innocen of tiro crime for which I suffer,, the grass, j for one generation at least, will not cover my grave. . IUy Jord, 1 await jour seu- lence wiinout a inurmer, without a sor. row.,. And I devoutly pray that all who hear me now may repent of their sins and meet ma again in Heaven." The unfortunate man was condemned and executed, and was buried in Mont gomery churchyard. Thirty . years had passed by when , I saw it, in company with pour Kliot Warburton, and the grass had not then covered his grave. It is situated in a remote corner of the church yard, fur removed from all other 'graves. It ii not a raised mouud of earth, but is even with tbe surrounding ground, which is, for some distance, especially luxuriant, the ' herbage being rich - and abundant. Numerous attempts have from time to time been- made by some who are still alive, and others who have passed aWay, to bring grass unon that bare jFpot .Fresh soil has been frequently spread upon it, and seeds have been sown, but not a blade had there evor been known to sorin from them, and the soil fooa became a ?roooth, cold and stubborn clay. ' With respect to the unhappy witnesses, it appears that larkers ancestors had once owned Oak field, and that he bad hoped, by getting rid of Newton, to remove the main ob stacle there was to his repossessing it, and that l'carce had, at the time of Air.- Mor ris' death, aspired to the hand of his daughter, in whose affections ho felt he h:-id been supp'anted by poor Newton. The former soon left the neignborhood, became a. drunken anl dissolute man, and was ultimately killed in some lime works, while in the act of blasting a rock, l'earce grew sullen and dispirited, 'his very cxisU ence seemed u burden tohim, and, as the old srxton of ' Montgomery expressed it, "he ftaoUil away from the fact, of the earth." . t glmcu Shorts Sou Samuel. Shrewd imon Short sewed shoes. Seventeen summers spreading sunshine, speediog'storms successively, saw Simon's email, si ahby shop still standing staunch, saw Simon's" self-same squeaking sign still swinging, silently speechifying: "Si-, mon Short, . Stniihfifcld's sole surviving shoemaker. Shoes sewed, soled super fiuely.'V Simon's spry, sedulous spouse, Sally Short, sewed shirts, stitched sheets, stutled sofas. Limon's six stout sturdy sons Seih, Snrauel, Stephen, Saul, Shad rach, Silas sold sundries. Sober '.th sold sugar, starch, spice ; simple Sam sold saddles, stirrups, screws; sagacious Ste phen sold bilks, satins, shawls; skeptical Saul sol 1 silver salvcre ; selfisbKhadrach old salves, shoestrings soap, eaws, skates; slack Silas sold Sally Short's stuffed sofas. ... '' 4 Some seven summers since .SimonV second son Samuel saw Sophia Sophronia Pr'KK9 ' somewhere. ; Sweet, sensible, smart Sophia Sophronia Spriggge. . Sam soon showed strange 83'mptoms. " Sam seldom stayed storing selling saddles '! Sam sighed sorrowfully, - sought Sophia Spihonia's society, sung several serenades, slyly.' iiimon stormed,' scolded severely, said. Sam seemed bo, silly singing such shameful, senseless songs. Strange Sam should slight such splendid summer sales! Strutting spendthrift ! ' Shatter-brained 1 .simpleton !" ' . ' ; ' 'Softly, softly, sire,'.' said Sail v Short, "Sam's smitten. Sans spied some sweet heart." ' v, . .,, ' '.. : ; "Sentimental school-boy," snarled Si mon. .."Smitten ! stop such stuff!" Si mon sent Sally's 6nufI-box spinning, seiz ed Sally's 6cissors, smashed Sally's spec tacles, and scattered several spools. "Sneaking scoundrel! ' Sam's " shocking silliness shall surceaao I" - Scowling, Simon ' stopped - speaking, starting swiftly shopward. Sally 6ighed sadly., Summoning Sam she spoke sweet sympathy. V- -'.... 1 1 l '. 5 '' " : -Sam," said B!ie,'-"sire seems singular- ly" 'snappy 5: 80 ''sonny stop "streets ; stop smoking segars,' spending specie superflu ously ; Btop sprucing so ; stop 6inging Ber-enades-r-stop short., Sell saddles, sonny, sell, saddles sensible ; see Sophia Sophro nia! topnggs aoon ? ahefs spngntiy, j&he s ing stock stilt 6table, so solicit, sue, Becure Sephia speed ily, sam?r ?'t-;':!i So'eoon ? so" soon'" fealj Samstand- '-So soon, surely," said Sally, smiling ;. 'specially since sire shows such Bpirits." " So Sam, somewhat scared,' sauntered slowly, shaking stupendously. Sam' so liloquized: ; T r -.- ,;; , - - 'Sophia .Sophrotna Short, Samuel singinr: softly. ' Seetni; Sam she stopped 1 starchinc. saluted ' Sni. smilinrlv. Sam I stammered shockingly. "Spl-spl tplendid summer season, So- ''Somewhat sultry HUKrestM Sophia . "Sar-sartain, Sophia," said Sam. (Hi- lence seventeen second?.) . .. J?e 'Selling saddles still, Sam," "Sar-sar-tain," said Sam, starting sud denly. "Season's somewhat sudoric," said Sam, stealthily staunching streaming sweat, shaking sensibly. . r "Sartin," said Sophia, smiling signifU cantly. - "Sip some Bweet ahurbit, Sum.". (Silence sixty seconds.) ' 1 "Sire shot sixty thelldrakea Saturday," - j said Sophia. ' '. t; "Sixty! . sho!" said Sara. (Silence Beventy-eeven seconds ) ., ., . ."See sister Susan's sunflowers." said Sophia, socially scatUring such stiff si lence. ' - J . . J .. ." "- i.:.. SonhiaV SDrhrhtlv sancinoss RJimtd.-itr-d Sm " atran-relv : so Sam sti.Menlv sn.Afl 8entimer.ta.il v. . , 'Sophia, Susan's sunfljwrrs scera say ing, "Samuel Short, . Sophia Sophronia Spriggs, stroll serenely, seek some seques tered spot, some sylvan shade. - Spark ling springs shall - sing : snul-soo-thing strain ; 6wect songsters shall silence se cret eighings ; super angelic sylphs shall" Sophia snickered, so Sam stopped. -: . "Sophia," said SamsoJetnnly. -i "Sam," said Sophia. - ; - .--. 1 'Sophia, stop smiling. Sam Slmrt'a sincere. Sam's seeking some sweet spouse, Sophia." Sophia stood silent. ' .. "Speak, Sophia, speak ' such suspense speculates sorrow." ... . . . "Seek sire, Sam, seek sire." So Snm sought eire Sprigg ; sire Sprigg said "Sartin." ; JOS2X PHOEMX. " A fiiend recently related to us the fol lowing anecdote of Phoenix, which has never been published ; 'Vhcn Jefferson Davis was St'crcfnry of War, he issued ovulars to all the'ofFi cers, asking of tham' apecifications for a proposed new uniform. Phoenix, who was an excellent draughtsman, tet to work and produced a dctdn. lie made no great change in the uniform, but ho proposed revolutionizing the entire system of mod em tactics by an iron hook. This hook was to be attached to the seat of every sol dier's pants. It applied to every arm of tbe service, cavalry, infantry and artillery. He illustrated its use by a eric of well executed designs. . lie quoted high medi cal authority proving its advantages in a sanitary point of view. The heavy knap sack, he argued, 'induced a Etooping posi tion and contraction ( of the chest. Dut hung on the hook by. a strap connecting with the shoulder, it would brace the body back and expand the chest. - The cavalry thus were to be rendered more secure in their seats, hooked to the ring in their saddle. All the commissioned officers were to carry a light twenty foot pole with a ring attached. to the one end. This was used during an engagement in draw ing the ; stragglers back into the ranks. He illustratevl a terrific battle, the gener-' als and colonels being thus occupied, run ning aboot hauling stragglers back to the ranks. la many other unheard of ways did he expatiate on the value and efficien cy of his hook. . Jefferson Davis was en raged. His dignity was wounded. He instantly made out an order directing I'hosnix to bo court-martialed for con tempt. - . Marcy was made aware of Phoenix's transaction, as. well as tho cloud hanging over him. .He looked' over the plates. He stiw a - regiment, their backs toward him drawn up in line,' knapsacks, blank ets, hams, and all manner of camp equip age, pendent from each soldier on the hook. Marcy broke down. ,. Said he to Davis: It's no use to court-martial this man. The rualter - will be made pubiic ; the laugh will settle entirely on us, and besides, a man who has the inventive ingenuity here displayed, as well as his faculty of de sign, illy directed though it be, is too val uable .to the service to be , trifled with. John Phoenix was not brought to grief, and Davis's anger was at length sufficient ly mollified for him to enjoy the joke.' - It does nut appear, "however,' that they adopted Phoaoix's plari.77T - Laroe " Moirru. -1 A fellow, whose countenance was homely . enough to scare a Quaker, was lounging aroand a public house, when! he was observed by a Yan kee," whd -asked; bim, - if he had - not met with an accident when he was young. "What da", you1 mean: you impertinent scoundrel V "Why, I didn't mean noth- f in,,, pn ly you 'have got such . au ,'all-lired crooked mouth, 1 thought as .how you might hare fallen in the brook.,vrhen you were a boy, and your mother hung you -V ifo M.v..l?' A man'm New Hamnshire; eigbty-fuur jye&rs old, 'has never "taken'a bath jn his lifa or owned a pocket handkerchief. k " THK JOSH IJlJ.tnCS l-AfEUS. ";;,".' tUB' .CCXSIKG MAN". , ' .- Cunning iz often took for wisJum, but it iz the mere skum that rizea when wis dom biles her pot, it hath not the stride of wisdum, neither haz it the honesty of wisdum, it iai more like instinkt than it iz like reazon." ' Cunning " ain't good at begetling, it iz better at executing, it iz like the wisdum ov a kat, fust rate to watch a rat whole. The cunning man haz two virtues al wuz prominent: patience and energy ; without these he would fall below, the kat, and fail tu git hiz mouse. Fhare iz lots ov cunning men who knows how tew set h trap, but Lain't got the wisdum to bait it. .. Cunning men alwus have a speciality, such az it iz, i have seen them who could iids a mule tew a ( pot, but who set a hoss awkwardly. , There is thia average between a cun ning man and a wise mnn, the cunning man's wisdum iz alwus on the outside of hia 'face, he-kant' hide if,' it iz alwus squirting out or the corner ov his eye, while the wise man carrys his grist deep, stowed away in his heart, and don't uze hiz wisdum tew find ockasions, but tew master tbem, when they pop up. i . -"'ng men have great caution, be- kause lLeJ erpoze themseves watched, in- asmuch az tbey are alwus watching others, Ihey have but few brains, but what they hav are petroleum, and their brains being few arid greasy, enables them tew fetch ihera to a focus sudden.. : Tt iz hard work to be very cunning and very honest, at the same time, i reckon thia tekauso i don't eeo the two hugging and kissing each other very much. Cunuing haz a skandalous pedigree, be iz the babe ov wisdum,. aud fraud, and iz the only child they ever had, but looks and ackts just like hia ma. It would take a big book tew make an almanack ov a cunning man, and the changes in him, fits, starts and doubles, and Liz windings, hiz in's and his outs, the parables in which he talks, and tha double entenders ov hiz face, awl that he duz, and awl that he thinks are for affekt. Cunning man's advice iz hard tew fol low, bekai:S3 ihttir wisdum is made like a bed quilt, out ov patches, and iz also com posed of shifts, for tha emergincy ov an ockasion, tew mutch for a stiddy diet. If yon don't understand wiggling your self, or the rudiments cv it, 30U must not git your advice from tho cunning man. Cunning haz alwus passed for wisdum, and will continue on to do so, az long az phools last, and phools will last az long az enny boddy else duz, and sustune their reputashun. Cunning iz alwus selfish, bekanse it iz not ov mutch breadth, while wisdum can afford tew be magnanimous, and have something left over.? But the ways and dodges ov cunning are past finding out, yu might az well un dertake tew track a snake iu the grass, when the dew is off, or a fox, in a strate line to his hole. Cunning men are not very dangerous, they hav 60 mutch vanity, and their van ity satisfied their ambition iz, and when vanity takes the place ov ambishun, wo are more amused than alarmed. . Cunnicg men in the hands ov wise men, are useful, more useful, quite often, than honesty, bekausn they are more sud den, and less sempelous. It is safer to entrust a secret to a cun ning man, than a clever man, the clever man is' sure to spill it, the cunning one may use it against you, but he is easier tew w-ateh, and control, than the good na tured fellow, who, like a young pup, lays down, rolls over and wags himself in front of every man he meets. Cunning men have many associates, but few intimates, they sumtimea hunt in couples, but are apt tew fight, when they come to divide the plunder. .TIIC TTCDDIXG ISCZ OF SCZ1. L In 1720 Prince Gallitzin, after long ex ile in Germany, where he had become a convert to the Koman Church, solicited and obtained permission to return to Kus sia This was under the reign ofthedis-. solute and cruel Czarina Ann. The par amours and flatterers who composed the court of .that licentions princess, urged her to inflict on the. new made Catholic the same punishment that had been suffer ed by a noble named Vonitz'n, who had turned Jew, and had "been! burned alive,' or rathei' roasted at a slow fire. "Ann re fused, but promised the corntiera they would not be deprived of their sport. The same day Gallitzin although op ward of 40 years oldr was ordered to take his place among the pages.! A few days later he received a notification that the Empress, contented with his services, bad been pleased to raise him to the dignity of third buffoon. f - ...... r s "The custom of buffoons," says a his torian,' "wss then in full force in Russia ; the empress had six," three of whom were of' tiigh birth? and when tbey did not lend themselves with a good grace to the tom fooleries required of Ihem 'by'her1 favor ites, sho had them punished with the at loffuts." w .... .. . - -'" The empress . appeared well satisfied with the manner in which the prince ful filled his duties, pnd as he was a widow er, she declared uba would find him 4wifo, that so Trainable a subject might not die without posterity. They- selected for the' poor wretch' bride the most hideous and diagnsting creature that could be found in tbeloweFt ranks of the populace. : Ann herself ar ranged tho ceremonial of hia wedding. It was in the depth of .one of the severest winters of the. country and, at a great ex pense, the empress had a palace built of ice. In front of the palace were ice c&n nons. mounted on Ice carriages. Ann, to gether with her courr, conducted the new ly married pair to this palace, their des tined habitation. The gncsts were seated in 6ledges drawn by dogs and roindeer ; the husband and wife, enclosed in a cae. were seated on au elephant. When tho procession arrived near thn palace, the ice cannons c were fired, and not one of them burst, so intense was th cold. Several of them were even loaded with bullets, which pierced thick plankA at a cousiderable distance. When every body bad "entered this singular edifice, the ball began. It probably did not last long. On its conclusion, Ann insisted on the bride and bridegroom being put tu bed in her presence. They were undress ed with the exception of their undergar ments, and were compelled to lie down on the bed of ice, without covering of aay kind. Then tho company went away, and sentinels were placed at the door of the nuptial chamber, 10 prevent the cou ple from leaving it before tho next day. I5ut when the next day came, they had to be carried out ; the creatures were in a deplorable state, and surv ived their tortara but a few days. - Symptoms or Old Maldlim. A Scotch paper thus details them: When a woman begins to drink hor :ea without sugar that's a symptom. When a woman begins to read lova stories abed that's a symptom. When a woman gives a sigh on heat ing of a wedding that's a symptom. When a woman begins to say that sho has refused many an offer that's a symp tom. When a woman begins to say what n dreadful set of creatures men are, and that she wouldn't be bothered with one of them for the world that's a symptom. When a woman begins to change her shoes every time she cornea into the house after a walk that's a symptom. When a woman begir.3 to have a little dog trotting after her that's a symptom. ' When a woman bejins lo have a cat at her elbow at meal times, and gives it Bweetcned milk that's a symptosi. When a woman begina to bu ashamed to take orf her bennet in a gentlsman'a company because she's got no cap on that's a symptom. When a woman sees babies crying, and says that 6he wouldn't b troubled with) them that's a symptom. When a woman begin to say that a aervant lass has no business with a sweet heartthat's a Fymptom. When a woman begins to go to bed with her stockings nnd a flaanel night cap on that's a symptom. ' When a woman begina to rub her fin gers over the chairs and tables to see if they are dosty that's a symptom. When a woman begins to refuse to tell her age that's a symptom. When a woman begins to find fault with her luoking-glasa, and snys it doesn't fchow the features right-that's a symptom. When a woman begins talking about cold drafts, and stops all the crevices in tbe doors and windows that's a symp tom. Tothb Girls wco Read the Led(tt.r. No one can ride or walk through the fashionable portion of New York city, at tend any place of amusement, or go l any evening party, without becoming aware of the horrible fact that many wo men, of whom bettor thiogs might be ex pected, have fallen into the pernicious habit of applying to their skins the en amels which, under various attractiva names, are advertised and sold in all pan of the land. .. Not only faded faces, but countenances so young, plump, and pretty in outline that they must in their natural condition be attractive, are lacqured over with uu unnatural polish of fine porcelain, which produces an effect such as one might im agine if a china doll were afflicted with consumption. ' ' ' ' -This practice is as pernicious as it i- disgusting the seeds of death or para lysis being hidden in every attractive t and jar of those mixtures, which are sup posed to be not only innocent, but also b possess the virtues of the undiscovered fountain of perpetual youth.. Some who use them will suddenly ha v a severe illness and receiving a privato warning from tho family physician, wi'.f cease the use of the cause of their diFo -der, and recovering," go through life wi-h an extremely bad complexion, as a re minder of their folly. '-- i '-"' Others will lrp. suddenly, with their features-twisted-ta one side,: and per haps deprived of tha us of their limb". -Others, will die .outright, no one guessing why r The effect pr any particular per.-., son cannot bo calculated What ona suffers paralysis from, may. kill another outright. The only sufetv is, irT having nothing lo do with any ot" these baleful "preparations." ' A man that refuses wliisWy ' called - corn dodger. There are vry corn dodd ers aboxit this town. " 1 J
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers