Ml o R. t. JOIIXSTOX, Editor. UK IS A FREEMAN WHOM THE TRUTH MAKES FREE, AND ALL ARE SLATES BESIDE. II. A. JtI'IIKE, Iubllilitr VOLUME EBENSBURG, PA., THURSDAY, MAY 21, 1868. NUMBER 16. i :: k I if tl I I t- i 628 HOOP SKIRTS. 628 WM. T. HOPKINS' "0W5 MAKE" or "KEYSTONE SKIRTS" are the beet and Cheapest Low Triced Hoop Skirts in the market. Trail Skirts, 26 springs, $1.00; 80 springs, SI. 20 ; and 40 springs, $1-45. Plain Skirts, 6 tapes. 20 springs., SO Cents; 25 springs, 95 Cents; 30 springs, 1.15; aud S5 springs, $1.25. Warranted in erery respect. Our OWN Make" of "Union Skirts," Eleven Tape Trails, frpm 20 to 50 springs. $1.20 to $2.50. Plain, Six Tapes, 20 to 60 springs, from 95 Cents to $2.00. These JSkirU are better than these Bold by other establishments as first class goods,, and at much lower prices. "Our OWN Make" of "Champion Skirts" are in every way superior to all taher Hoop SkirU befcre the publie, and only have to be examined or worn to convince every one f the fact. Manufactured of the best liuen fiu'whed English Steel Springs, very superior tapes, and the style of the rnetalia fasten ings and manner of securing them surpass for durability and excellence any other Skirt in this country, and are lighter, more elastic, will wear longer, give more satisfaction, and are really cheaper'than all others. Every lady thould try Uion. They are being sold extensively by Merchants thryughout this and the adjoining States at very moderate prices. It you want the best, ask for "Hopkins' Ckampion Skirt." If you do not fiud them, get the merchant with whom you deal to order thorn for you, or come or end direct to u. Merchants will find our different grades of Skirts exactly what they need, and wo cepeclally invite them to call and examine our extensive assortment, or eead fdr Wholesale Price Liit. To be had at Retail at Manufactory, and cf the lietall Tradd generally, and at Whole sale of the Manufacturer only, to whom all rders nhonld be addressed. " JJamifiKiery and ScJtrroooi, C28 Arch Street, Between 5th aud 7th Stg.. PMlnd'a. April 2, l8.-4ru. WM. T. HOPKINS. H. A. Shoemaker if Co. are the only 4alrs in Ebtrnsbarg who keep tbece celv brted Skirt for sale. Gr EIS & It E TJ T IT , JohbJtevru, Pa , BOOKSELLERS. STATIONERS AID ISOOiX BIRDERS. MANUFACTURERS OF BLANK ROOKS, POKTE-MONAIS. PAPER BOXES AND LOOKING GLASSES. Locking Glass and Picture Fraiaes always cd hand, and made to order. A large and inokt complete assortment of Diawing Room aad Miscellaneous Pictures, consisting of Chromos, Paintings in Oil, Steel Plate En gravings, Pkia and Colored Lithographs, Oil Printe, rkotograph3 and Wood Cuts. Tkis collection embraces a selection of large eixed match pictures of Landnc-ape and Do mehtic Scene and Portraits, and 5,000 dif ferent varieties cf O.rd Photographs of protn ineut men, comic and sentimental scenos and cpi6 of subjects by celebrated artists. We Lave al.o a varied assortment of BIBLES, PRAYER. HYMN and SCHOOL ROOKS. HISTORIES, BIOGliAFHIES, NOVELS. As. Religious Prints and Emblems in great variety, and the largest and most complete stock of STATIONEUY ever brought to this cointy. 500 new and beautiful stjles of WALL PAPER, including an assortment of rotter's celebrated English make, for which we are sole agents in this locality. Theso Wall Papers are handomer in design, supe rior in finish, and 21 inehes wider than any cr&rr make. The citizens of EbenBburg and vicinity are Tftjrectfully notified that we make BOOK IlfNDING and the manufacture of BLANK ROOES a speciality. A'.l work promptly executed at moderate rates. j-Store on corner of Clinton and Locuet streets, immediately opposite Foster House. Johnstown, Oct. 24, 1867.-tf. QREAT BARGAINS! J PjI pircher MSBieiABIE CLQTSIEH .ft TilM IS SELLING OFF HIS ENTIRE STOCK OF CLOTHING At Reduced Prices, AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO UNTIL MAY lat, 1808, IN OIIDL'R TO MAKE ROOM FOR A VERT LARGE ETCCK OF SPRIPiQ AND SUMIjIER GOODS, DON'T FORGET THE PLACE. Montgomery Street, below Blair St., Next Door to Masonic Hall, Mar. 12. Uollldaysburg, Ta p;VEPiE THE MEMORY OF FRIENDS DEPARTED ! MONUMENTS, TOMBSTONES, &c. The subscriber still continues to manufacture cf the Lest material and in the most workmanlike manner, at the Loretto Marble Works, all kind of MONUMENTS AND TOMB STONES, as well as TABLE and RUltEAU TOPS, aad all other work in his line. None but the best American and Italian Marble used, and perfect satisfaction guaranteed to all cases at prices as low as like work can be obtained in the cities or elsewhere. Call and see specimens and Judge for yourselves as to tie merits cheapness cf my work. JAMES WILKINSON. Loretto, March 12, 18C8.1y. I C II A R D ROWAN, ALTOONA, PA., HOUSE AND SI8N PAINTER Is prepared to make contracts for the paint ing of Churches, Dwellings and other Cuild lDe3 ia Oanibria and surrounding counties, acd for the execution of all other work in his line. Painting done at prices more moder ate and in a btyle far superior to most of the work executed La thhi swtlen. Satisfaction SuaractSKl. ms.20.-tt. rmHZ ALT00NA WARE HOUSE CO., WHOLESALE Dealers and Conunission Merchants Comer Virginia St. and Plank Road, Will keep constantly on hand a large and well selected assortment of FLOUIt, FEED, SALT, FISH, GRAIN, COAL, LIME, SAND, Ac, at Wholesale, in AltoonaCity, and thekadjoiDing counties can be supplied with the'leading articles generally used by them at city and mill prices. All kinds of country produce received and paid for in cash, or sold on commission. I'rempt returns will be made. Storage furnished for all articles, such as floor lumber, shooks, shingle, etc. Articles will be delivered to purchasers or Bent to freight warehouse. Having the only house where good3 by the car load can be removed at the door, thug saving drayage, our customers will re ceive the benefit of it. Trice currents will be sent weekly to per sons desiring them. THE ALTOONA WAREHOUSE CO. Altoona, April 80, 1863. -tf. WM. 3t. LI.OYD, President. JOEN LLOYD, Cashier. IIKST NATIONAL BANK OF-ALTOONA. COVEUWMEXT AGCXC1 AKD DESIGNATED DEPOSITORY OF THE UNITED STATES. Comer Virginia and Annie Streets, Nori7t Ward, Altoona, Pa. Authorized Capital, $200,000 Cash Capital paid in, - - - - 150,000 All business pertaining to Banking done on favorable terms Internal Revenue Stamps of all denomi nations, always on hand. To purchasers of Stamps, percentage, in stamps, will be allowed, as follows : $50 to $100, 2 per cent.; $100 to $200, 8 per cent.; $200 and upwards, 4 per Jan. 31, 1807-tf. LOID &. CO., Daakers Gold. Silver. Government Lfians. unJ Other Securities, bought and sold. Interest allowed on Time Eeposits. Collections made on all accessible points in the United States, and a general Banking business transacted. January 81, 1867. . 91. LLOYD Si CO., Bankeks, Altoona. Ta. Drafts on the principal cities and Silver and Gold for sale. Collections made. Moneys received on deposit, payable on de mand, without interest, or wpon time, with interest at fair rates. an31. L . B R A L L I E R , with GILBERT &, ROYAL, Established 1S35, Wholesale Druggists, Xog. 309 and 311 7S, Third Street, PHILADELPHIA. JOIIX GILBEKT, . . THEODORE A. EOTAL, Importers and Dealers in Drug3, I Spices, I Oils, I Dye Stuffs Medicines, Paints, Glass, &c, Scc. April 2, 18G8.-3m. WALL PAPERS. PAPER. IIAKGiaTGS! A BTOOK OF WALL PAPERS-, NEW AND ELEGANT STYLES FOR PARLORS, HALLS, ETC., "WHOLESALE AND RETAIL, HOWELL & HOURKES, Comer cf Fourth and Market Streets, April 2. 1868.-3m. PHILADELPHIA. X. CUKSSWELL, JOHN A. RYCEIt, H. T. BLACK, WM. D. GEMMILL. 31. 3IcSOXAL.D, WITH M. CRES3WELL 8l CO., Importers and Jobbers of FANCY AND STAPLE DRY GOODS. X. 911 Market Street, Juno 20, 1807-ly. PHILADELPHIA. A C. D I B ja R T , WITH BORER & BROTHERS, Manufacturers, and Wholesale Dealers in CITY AND EASTEItN MADE BOOTS AND SHOES, SO. 43 MARIIET STREET, Below Fiflh, South Side, - PH1LAD A. WHOLESALE GROCERS SI P . DAVIS; wrm BOYD El STROUD, Importers and Dealers in QUEENSWARE, CHINA and GLASS, No. 32 North Fourth t Four doors below Merchants' Hotel, PIIILA A M E S H. D AY I S, Dealer In all kinds or POPLAR, CHERRY &ASH LUMBER, Yard Nos. 314 and 216 N. Broad St., PHILADELPHIA. fcS-Business attended to in Ebensburg by Wm. J. Williams. fmyl6-ly ETER SIDES, WITH IllCIOIAtf, 11UEX. & CO., WHOLESALE TOBACCO DEALERS. 3T. K. Cor. Third fc Market Stu , Jan. 22, 18G7. P H--LADELPI1IA. TJ.RAFF, WATKIN & CO., Wholesale Dealers in BOOTS AND SHOES, No. 512 Market Street, FLEil. UOLLIDAY. PIIILAD'A WANTED AT THE CROSS ROADS. I was in a hurry to reach home. No wonder, for it was the wildest night I had ever known in all my life, and the country road over which I took my way as bad and dark as country roads in general. I consequently was walking at a great rate, with the collar of my rough coat over my ears, and a comforter tied over ray soft hat and under my chin, to keep it on and to protect my ears, when suddenly a man stood full in my path and caught me by the arm. Hullo!" said he. "You're just in time ; you are wanted at the cfoss-roada to-uight !" The voice was the voice of a ruffian. I fancied myself attacked by a high wayman. I stood quite still, and strove to show him by my manner that I was able to pro tect myself. "What the deuce am I wanted at the cross roads for V asked I. ''Unless I choose it would be a hard matter to get me there." But instead of producing a pistol and demanding my money or life, the man an swered in an altered tone : "Beg pardon ! I made a mistake. I thought it was my brother, aud wanted to frighten him. Bad night, sir!" "Very !" said I. "You don't know the time?" he asked. "It was seven when I left the train at L ," said I. "Thank ye," said the man. "Good night !" If his object had been robbery, probably lie had decided, from my rough appear ance, that I was too poor a man to be worth the trouble. But alter all, thought I, probably he spoke the truth. A man may have such a voice without being a highwayman, no doubt. So I went on homeward, and soon found myself under shelter and partaking of a warm aud savory supper. My mother was there and my brother Bcu. lien was a great strapping fellow who could beat any other boy of his age j for miles around it it came to wrestling or j boxing, and as good humored boy as ever lived a boy always to mother and I, though he had exercised his right to vote already in one Presidential election. When supper was over and we had chatted tor an hour, we went up stairs to gether. We fchared one room. The mount tit Ben's head touched the pillow he always went to sleep. That night I followed his example. But 1 did not sleep long without a dream a dream in which 1 felt a rough grip on my arm, and was roused by a cry in my ear : "Wake up ! You're wanted at the cross roads ." It was so real, so palpable, that when I started broad awake I actually believed that some one was in the room ; the man who bad met me on the road perhaps, and who intended robbery or violence. Hut when I had arisen, and lit my lamp, the room was empty, except myself and Ben, who lay snoring on his pillow. I went to the door ; it was locked, I went to the window; the rush of rain against the panes was all I heard. I even went across the passage to my mother's room. She was awake ; there had been no unusual sound she was sure. Only a dream born of my meeting the strange man in the road, I felt had awa kened me. I went to bed and fell asleep again. Again I was awakened by the same words ; this time shrieked in my ear by an unearthly voice. "Wake up, wake up. You are wanted at the cross roads." I was on my feet once more, and caught Ben's hand as he came toward my bed. "What ails you !" he cried. "Nothing," said I. "Did you hear a voice ?" "Yours," paid Ben, "yelliug 'wake up ; you fairly frightened me." "lien," said I, "wait until I light the lamp, I heard another voice. There must be some one in the house or outside." So I lit the lamp and we searched in vain. "Nightmare," said Ben, when I told him my 6tory. "Ben," said I, "what is thove at the cross roads ?" "A houpe," said Ben. He had lived in the neighborhood a long while, and I not long. "One little house, besides two oak trees and a fence. An old man lives .there, a rich man, and a bit of a miser, they eay. Ilia grand-dau-rhter keeps house for him." 'Ben, that fellow may have meant harm to them. I may be wanted at the crors roads." "Brother," said Ben, "go to sleep. You had a nightmare," and Ben plunged in between the blanket?, and was soon snoring again. I also in ten minutes slept as soundly as before, but the awakening came again. I opened my eyes to Ree a girl standing at the foot of my bed a irl in white robe?, with golden hair all about her shoulders, who rang her hands and cried : "Oh, wake up, you are wanted at the cross roads." This time I started out of bed, bathed in a cold perspiration. I trembled like a leaf. I bad no doubt that I had re ceived supernatural warning. "Ben." I cried, "Ben, for the third time I have been told that I am wanted tt the cross road?, and I am going." - And I began to dress myself as speed ily as possible, listening the while to the torm raging madder and wilder than at any other period since its commencement. L Ben remoHStrated with me in vain. At last he also began to huddle on his clothes. "If you have gone mad I must go with you and take care of you," he said. "But fancy another man going in a storm like this to the cross roads because a nightmare advised him to do so, and what would think of him !" I said nothing. All I could have an swered would have been : "I am compelled to go T must go. I dare not refuse, whatever may be thought of me," In ten minutes we were splashing thro the mud and rain along the road. It was perfectly dark ; now and then a blazing red star in the distance told us that a lamp was gleaming through the rain in some cottage window, bi't otherwise we would not have been conscious of our proximity to any habitation whatever. At last Hearing the spot where the road from S crosses the road from P. , we were indeed in as solitary a place as could be imagined. The house which abutted on th very angle of the roads, called in familiar par lance the Cross Roads, was the only one for some distance in either direction, and certainly on 6uch a night we were not likely to meet many travelers. All was silent as the grave. We stood quite still. In a moment Ben broke out in one of his wildest laughs. "Well," he said, "how now? Will you go home and have another night mare ?" But hardly had the words escaped his lips when a shriek broke on the air, and a woman's voice, plainly comiog from the interior of the cottage, cried : "Help! help! help!" "Ben," said I, "we are wanted at the cross roads," and then, understanding each other, without moceeword3 we made our way to a window, through which a light shone, A muslin curtain, draped the panes, but through it we saw an awful bight. An old man lay upon the floor, and over him bent a rafliari, clutching his throat, and holding a pistol to his ear, while another man grnsned a shrieking girl by the arm a girl in a flowing night dress with such lng golden hair as be longed to the woman of my vision. Not a moment was to be wasted. Ben flung his weight against the slender lattice and crushed it in, and we had grap pled the ruffians before they knew whence the attack came, -or bw many foes were upon them. I do not intend to describe the struggle: indeed I could not, if I would. But we were strong men, and inspired by the cries of tho helpless old man and the terrified girl, we soon had one of tho villians bound, and the other lying prostrate on the flxr. Then lien started for assistance, and before morning both were in jail, Ben ad- mitting, as we shook each other by the hand that we were "wanted at the cross roads." The old man was not a miser, but he had saved some few thousands for his old age, and living more plainly than he need have done, had given rise to the rumor, and so brought the burglars to the cross roads in the hope of booty. The girl, a beautiful creature of seven teen, was his grand-daughter, and as no story is'acceptable to the Jady reader with out a flavor of romance, I will tell them that she became in after years, not my wife, but the wife of my darling brother Ben. Killings on a Hoiteu. The Bible sea "The grasshopper is a burden," and I never knu the Bible tew say anything that wasn't so. When the grasshopper begin tew live they are very small, but in a little while there gets to be plenty of them. They only liv one year at once, and then go back and begin again. Their best gait is a hop, and with the wind on their quarters tbej can make sum good time. They are a sure krop to raise, but some years they rnise more than others. I have seen some fields bo full of them that you couldn't stick another grasshopper in, unless you sharpened him tew a pint. When they git so very plenty they are very apt to start, and then they becum a traveling famine, and leave the road they take as barren as the inbide of a country church during a week day. Grasshoppers don't seem to be actually necessary for our happiness, but they may be we don't even kno what we want most. I don't want grasshoppers to give en tirely out, not if they are a blessing, but I have thought, (to myself,) if they would let grass and cornstalks bo and pitch into the burdocks and Canady thistles, I'd jist encourage the fight, and wouldn't care a cuss if they both pot finally licked. But my best judgment would be tew bet on tho grasshoppers. Among the ashes of the Erie Railroad wreck was found a body, and on it an accident insurance ticket for three thou sand dollars, around which the fire had burned every tbinj away, but leaving this and thus identifying tho charred remains tf tbo victim. The Power of Truthfulness. A TRUE STORT. Once there was a good man whose name was John Kant. He lived at Cra cow, in Poland, where he taught and preached. It was his rule to suffer wrong rather than do wrong to others. When he got to he quite old he was seized with a wish to see once mora tho home of his childhood, which was many miles distant from where he now lived. So he got ready, and, having prayed to God, set out on his way. Dressed in a black robe, with long gray hair and beard, he rode slowly along. The woods through which he had to pass were thick and dark ; but there was light in his soul, for good thoughts of God and God's works kept him company, and made the time seem short. One night, as he was thus riding along, he was all at once surrounded by men some on horseback and some on foot. Knives and swords flashed in the light of the moon, and John Kant faw that ho was at the mercy of a band of robbers. He got down from his hotse and said to the gang that he would give up to thenj all that he had about him. He then gave them a purse filled with silver coin, a gold chain from his neck, a ring from his finger, and from his pocket a book of prayer with silver claeps. "Have you given us all?" cried the robber chief, in a stem voice ; "have you any more money ?" The old man, in his confusion, said he had given them all the money he had ; and when he said this, they let him go. Glad to get off so well, he went on and was soon out of sight. But !1 at once the thought came to Lira that he had some gold pieces stitched in the hem of hi3 robe. Thesii he had quite forgotton when the robbers had asked him if h3 had any more money. "This is lucky," thought John Kant, for he saw that the money would bear him to his friends, and that he would not have to beg his way, or 6u3er for want of food or shelter. But John's conscience was a tender one, and he stopped to listen to its voice. It seemed to cry to him in earnest tones, "Tell not a lie !" These words would not let him rest. Some men would say that such a prom ise, made to thieves, need not be kept ; and fow would have been troubled after such an escape. But John did not stop to reason. He went back to the place where the robbers stood, and walking up to them, paid, meekly, "I have told you what is not true. I did not mean to do so, but fear confused me ; so parden me." With these words he held forth the gold pieces, but to his surprise not one of the robbers would take them. A strange feeling was at work in their hearts. These men, bad as they were, could not laugh at the pious old man. "Thou shalt not steal !" said a voica within them. All were deeply moved. Then, as if touched with a common feeling, one of the robbers brought and gave back the old man's purse ; another, his gold chain ; another, his ring ; another his book of prayer ; and still anothor led up his horse, and helped the old man to remount. Then all the robber?, ns if qdito ashamed of having thought of harming so good a man, went up and asked his bless ing. John Kant gave it with a devout feeling, and then rode on his way, thank ing God for so strange an escape, and wondering at the mixture of "ood and evil in the human heart. Fax About Butter. I sincerely wish that the serpeiU that wuz so konspicuous in the fall ov our fust parents wood try sum ov hiz seducliv wiles on the present hi price ov butter. We went one week without it up to our hous, but at larst giving wa to the chi mera ov the children and the tearful en treaties ov mi wife, I bought hafTa pound and mortgaged mi house and lot. Oh, 4 a kow. Butter is very ekerce. Kows ar as plenty as ever and giv j jst as mutch milk, but the avaricious farm'iBt packs hiz but ler up fur a big thing nex winter. Tha 'don't konsider that the world may come to an end before that time aud thare but ter spile on thare hands. A farmer bro't a teakup full to market yesterday and he kame near losin' his life bi bein smuthered tu deth hi grocers hoo crowded around and offered him fabulus sums for it. I modestly olfered him mi life and sakred honor for half an ounce, and he askt me with a sarkastic grin if I tho't biz butter wuz strong. That wuz a pretty etrengthy sarkazaru. Ho finally sold hiz butter tu a man for $18 in stamps and a femai dorg. The cup waazent thrown in. Thare hez bin sum very ekaly butter in cirkulation within the parst few weeks. I got a roll sum times ago for an chTgold watch that wuz left tu mi wife with the etrick injunkehun that she shoodent part with it unless it wuz tu git surnthun tu eate. We koodent eat that butter. I hired a powerful man to carry it far intu the country and bury it. Cum tu find out that roll uv butter bed bin made bi an eg rikultural girl fur an old flam uv hers in our plais. Tho hi flavor uv the butter wuz eipreaRiv uv the strong luv she boM him. She had also sent him a lock of her hara yery skillfully wQrkt ur in the roll, Discovery of a Wonderful Cave. A new and wonderful cave has been discovered in Armagh township, Mifflin county. A correspondent of the Lewis town Gaeetle, from Milroy, gives the following description of it : Ob the 2ith of April, while Charles Nageny, of Milroy, was having a site dug for a limekiln, he was surprised by find" ing an opening in the sido of the hill" Tho moment it came to view a strong stream of air began oozing forth, like 'the pressing of a pair of bellows ; the work was con tinued until the aperture opened in size large enough to allow the body to crawl in, and then it was found to be a splendid cave, with gorgeous subterranean gang ways ; during the week the work progress ed, and a formal entrance was made. Ou Saturday, 2d of May, the citizens of Mil roy and vicinity had the pleasure of a full view. The attendance was composed of about one hundred and fifty ladies and gentlemen. Lights being at hand, hav ing been furnished by Mr. Nageny, it made the affair quite interesting. After first entering, we found ourselves enclosed in a narrow underground path, for the distance of twelve feet ; here the gre:it cave enmo to view : the gangway about f.ftoen feet wide, with gigantic walls of rock, was a direct line of about eixty feef, in the cen tre of which we beheld the hnnging or projecting rocks, in the shape of a mantel, underneath which wero small, c ys alized rocks, long and hollow, appearing like ickles on a house in winter time. Here we turned to the right, and had a full sight of the "Platform llock," a natural platform, about three feet above tho level of the floor, and running together in the centre ; above it wa3 a shelf or canopy, which indeed presented a sublime sight. Here, one hundred and seventy feet uuder the ground, and in natural formed room or gangways, with a splendid spring of tresh water beneath your feet, who could not realize that the hands of nature had truly boon at work here. A eh rt distance farther cn, we beheld the hanging lamp, and then came the subterranean chamber, situated below, where the rocks seemed to be more marbleized, as they aro firmer, whiter and more solidly settled.' After returning,. we, with the assistance of a ladder, provided by Mr. Nngcny, were enabled to take a look np stairs. Here was another chamber, with colossal walls of rocks, which presented a sight never to be. forgotten ; the distance tra versea was aoout o'JU toet. lhe air within is very warm, and the floor cr ground seems as if cemented, and is firm and solid. The diagram is in the sliapo of an II written, and very weatly laid out. The base of the springs are like small peb bles laid aside of each other, with a bor der composed of a larger size. The cave is situate on the line of the Mifflin and Centre County Railroad, about three-fourths of a milo below Mil roy, and i9 a grand and sublime sight a relic of nature's handiwork that Milllin county may some day be proud of. It will be open for visitors, during the com ing week, when all who may wish to ira prove themselves in the study of nature's works, may have an opportunity to visit it Inside a Printing OClce. The composing room of a printing of fice is about as productive of various questions and elicits as much curiosity from visitors as any place of business we know of. The first thing a visitor does, is to step up to a case whera fingers are ct work and watch every motion with perfect steadfastness ; looks mysterious, and questions follow about like this : "How do you know where to find the letters? Are they arranged in order? How do you know when they are right sid up ? What is the reason that there is more type in some boxes than the others? 1 should think you would make mistakes ; you ought to hara the boxes marked ? Don't you get the wrong let ters some times ?" Looking around he ppics in a corner a lot of "something" that calls forth : "What are these ?" Compositor "Quads." Visitor "What's Quads ?" Compositor explains. Next finds the forms which another person is distributing. Visitor "Tearing 'em down, eh?" Compositor "Yes." Visitor 'Can you do that faster than you an set? What rrmkes you wet the ty e ? (Looking at the form ) Why, it's all up eide down ; is that the way it al ways is? You can't read it, can you ?" Next goes around the press and finds the roller, puts his fingers on it, and gets them dyed a shade or two duiker than their original color. "What's this roller maJa of India rubber ?" Compositor "No, of glue and "Eaolass BCS." Visitor "Of mola-ses 1 I'd think it woi I J melt." Compositor 'Twill, when it gets warm enough." His ext fall is upon tho paper, wet down, ready for press. Visiter "Why, this paper 13 all wef, do j ou have to do that ?" Compositor "Ye3." Visitor "What for?" Compositor explains and wishc3 lie tyould dry up. He looks around and finds a form of advertisements laid aside. He runs his finger over a column and knocks a wbole square of it into confusion. Compositor crose, 'and says "You've knocked that into pi." v isitor whistles, and goes or.t when compositor ain't looking. A Husband's Tribute of Affection Mr. E. Cowan, tho editor of the TVar- ren Mail, in the last number of his jour nal publishes an obituary of his deceased wife, written by Limself, which is so beautifully worded that we republish the following extract from it. After alluding to her worth, her virtues, and her en-Iurs ance during her long illness of consumption, the bereaved husband writes : "Dear reader, we are fully conscious that we have obtruded our private afHiirs on tho public too long already. But wo do rot trouble you often with matters personal and 3'ou are our only confidante now. There aro timc3 when the heart finds re lief only in words or tc-ars.. Far nearly two and a half years disease sat in our household by day and by night and threw its dark shadow on the wall. Ilona and fear gladness and gloom have alter nately flashed their shadows across our way. Many others, and you, perhaps, have had a similar exrcridicc; but tho discipline is new to u?, and this week we can think or write of little else. Wo have borne it, ani ehall bear it, with as cheerful a philosophy, as resigned a faith, and a strength fs manly as we may ; but God only kmws how deep is the shadow of t'.iis w'jtt after tlte funeral. Tho children of Le; love and her care have g n motherless to bed. Tho kind neigh bors nnd friends have come and gona with noiseless tread and many tears. The man of God has oflvrod the solemn prayer and the singers have fang the solemn hyran. -The bearers have bcrne away the shadowy form of her whoso health and lifo and gentle goodness still linger only in mem ory and the picture on the wall. Tho house never seemed bo oppressively fctill, and the clock never had so loud a tick. The playful cat, even, does not pur on tha rug to-night, but dodges in aud runs out with a startled, pitiful look. The work basket, with its half liniahed articles laid f.side scarce four days ago, seem? only waiting for the once bu?y fingers, now. alas ! folded uuder tha pines in peaceful rest. Traveling back over the bridge of year?, wo recall the gathering of many of the same friends in the old homestead just eighteen yesis ago last week. Not tho cross of flowers and the sad eyed mourn ers were there, but the bridal wreath and the voice of miiih foreshadowed a futuro bright and beautiful. Siufo then; how many of that 'nierrie companio have pass ed 'over the river cr known the darkness of to-night ! Thus has it ever been thus will it evr be, till we pas3 to that belter land where there is no night after the funeral, and no river runs batvcen tho living and the dead !" The Niggku axi the IIunroost. A friend who accompanied me had heard of a bargain in real estato on the hilltop above Jackson City, and we went up to look at it. It certainly was a cheap property, on Arlington Ilcigh's, and or. a mile from Washington.. We asked the tenant if the negroes of the neigboring village troubled him. "Tho sight of 'em troubles me," said this Last Family. "Dogon 'em , I do hate a freo nigger ! As to stealing, if that's what you mean, they steal nothing but the chick ens." "Then they do take poultry ?' "It's my belief," said the solitarj' ten ant, "that there'll have to bo chickings in a future state for tho nigger. Heaven will be no heaven to him without hen coops. 'Pears to me the chickens know him. They never cackle where a tiigger comes. They roost low on his night. It's a nigh to lh"i3 pint, gentlemen, that in tho Stato of Virginia nobody but a niggercaa afford to eat chicking? in five years. Tho animal will be his specialty and monopoly. Chicking will ba to a wLite family what pork is to a Jew." "But why -do tho negroes confine their depredations to poultry ?" "The nigger aint got enterprise to steal any tiling bigger," ho said, "he'd no mcro steal a cow than he'd steal tha Capitol yonder. He's fond of stews. Tho chick" ing jist fits into hi gipsey pet. Tha grease cf it i!cs Lis jint?. He loves it be cause he stota it. He eats it oat of puro affection. He cooks it at nighttime, und biles it with the feathers on. He hopea the feathers will evaporate with the bil ing ; but if they don't he goes the whole fowl, quills and all. Gentlerr.en, if there's any sincere happiness in this world, it's a nigger sly I"- eating a biled chicking on tha Cor. Cincinnati Commercial. A LEAiiNFD ruovEssoit in a New Eng land college was accustomed to demand! of students an excuse whenever they wero dilatory at recitation. The excuse given, he invariably added : Very well ; but don't let it happen again." One morning a married student happening to be behind time, was promptly interrogated as to tho couse. Slightly embarrassed, he replied: "The truth i?, sir, I had r.n addition to j my family this morning, and it was not convenient to be here sooner. "ery well," replied the professor, in his quick, nervous manner, "very well ; but dont let it i-rnncn ajain f" The Benthamite !
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