16
And off it drops, a black bundle that rolls for twenty yards.
OGOSCCOSGCOSCOOeOSOSOOOSOOSOSOOOaZOSOSOSOOQGOOSGOOOO^
I "LABOR, TRADE I
J AND CAPITAL" 112
| By O. HENRY |
Gsooceaoscocoacoccocccosoozyso&oonoccosGcoosoososcosoS
(Copyright, by Joseph B. Bowles.)
Across our two dishes of spaghetti,
In a corner of Provenzano's restau
rant, Jeff Peters was explaining to me
the three kinds of graft.
Every winter Jeff conies to New
York to eat spaghetti, to watch the
shipping in East river from the depths
of his chinchilla overcoat, and to lay
In a supply of Chicago-made clothing
at one of the Pulton street stores.
During the other three seasons he
way he found further west —his range
is from Spokane to Tampa. In his
profession he takes a pride which he
supports and defends with a serious
and unique philosophy of ethics. His
profession is no now one. He is an
incorporated, uncapitalized, unlimited
for the reception of the rest-
Jess and unwise dollars of his fellow
mon.
In the wilderness of stone in which
Jell seeks his annual lonely holiday
lie is glad to palaver of his many ad
ventures, as a boy will whistle after
sundown in a wood. Wherefore, I
mark on my calendar the time of his
coming, and open a question of privi
lege at Provenzano's concerning the
little wine-stained table in the corner
between the rakish rubber plant and
the framed palazzio della something
on the wall.
"There are two kinds of grafts,"
eaid Jeff, "that ought to be wiped out
by law. I mean Wall street specula
tion, and burglary."
"Nearly everybody will agree with
you as to one of them," said 1, with a
laugh.
"Well, burglary ought to be wiped
out, too," said Jeff; and I wondered
whether the laugh had been redun
dant.
"About three months ago," said
Jeff, "it was my privilege to become
familiar with a sample of each of the
aforesaid branches of illegitimate art.
I was sine qua grata with a member
of the housebreakers' union and one
of the John D. Napoleons of finance at
the same time."
"Interesting combination," said I,
with a yawn. "Did I tell you I bagged
a duck and a ground-squirrel at one
shot last week over in the Ramapos?"
1 knew well how to draw Jeff's stories.
"Let me tell you first about these
barnacles that clog the wheels of so
ciety by poisoning the springs of rec
titude with their upas-like eye," said
Jeff, with the pure gleam of the muck
raker in his own.
"As I said, three months ago I got
into had company. There are two
times in a man's life when he does
this—when he's dead broke, and
when he's rich.
"Now and then the most legitimate
business runs out. of luck. It was out
in Arkansas I made the wrong turn
at a cross-road, and drives into this
town of Peavine by mistake. It seems
I had 112 I ready assaulted the disfigured
Peavine the spring of the year be
fore. 1 had sold S6OO worth of young
fruit, trees there— plums, cherries,
peaches and pears. The Peavir.ers
were keeping an eye on the country
road and hoping I might pass that
way agfin. I drove down Main street
as far as the Crystal Palace drug
store before I realized I had commit
ted embush upon myseif and my
white horse Pill.
"The Peaviners took me by sur
prise and Bill by the bridle and began
a conversation that wasn't entirely
disassociated with the subject of fruit
trees. A committee of 'em ran some
trace chains through the armholes of
my vest, and escorted me through
their gardens and orchards.
"Their fruit trees hadn't lived up
to their labels. Most of 'em had
turned out to be persimmons and dog
woods, with a grove or (wo of black
jacks and poplars. The only one that
showed any signs of bearing anything
was a fine young cottonwood that
had put forth a hornet's nest and half
of an old corset-cover.
"The Peaviners protracted our fruit
less stroll to the edge of town. They
took my watch and money on ac
count; and they kept Hill and the
•wagon as hostages. They said the
first time one of them dogwood trees
put forth an Amsden's June peach I
fejiSlit come back and get my things.
Then they took off the trace chain
and jerked their thumbs in the direc
tion of the Rocky mountains; and I
struck a Lewis and Clark lope for the
swollen rivers and impenetrable for
ests.
"When I regained conscientiousness
I. found myself walking into an un
identified town on the A., T. & S. F.
railroad. The Peaviners hadn't left
anything in my pockets except a plug
of chewing—they wasn't after my life
—cni' that saved it. I bit. off a chunk
ane sits down on a pile of ties by the
track to recogitate my sensations of
thought and perspicacity.
"And then along comes a fast
freight which slows up a little at the
town; and off of it drops a black bun
dle that rolls for 20 yards in a cloud
of dust and then gets up and begins
to spit soft coal and interjections. I
see it is a young man, broad across
the face, dressed more for Pullmans
than freights, and with a cheerful
kind of smile in spite of it all that
made Phoebe Snow's job look like a
chimney-sweep's.
'• 'Fall off?' says I.
"'Nunk,' says he. 'Got off. Arrived
at my destination. What town is
this?*
" 'Haven't looked it uu on the map
yet,' says I. 'I got in about five min
utes befo-o you did. How does it
Ltrike you?'
" 'Hard,' says he, twisting one of
his arms around. 'I believe that
shoulder —no, it's all right.'
"fie stocps over to brush the dust
off his clothes, when out of his pocket
drops a fine, nine-inch burglar's steel
jimmy. He picks it up and looks at
ine sharp, and then grins and holds
out his hand.
" 'Brother,' says he, 'greetings.
Didn't I see you in southern Missouri
last summer selling colored sand at
half-a dollar a tcaspoonful to put into
lamps to keep the oil from exploding?'
" 'Oil, says I, 'never explodes. It's
the gas that forms that explodes.' But
I shakes hands with him, anyway.
'• 'My name's Bill Bassett,' says he
to me, 'and if you'll call it professional
pride instead of conceit, I'll inform
you that you have the pleasure of
meeting the best burglar t"iat ever set
a gum-shoe on ground drained by the
Mississippi river.'
"Well, me and this Bill Bassett sits
on the ties and exchanges brags as
artists in kindred lines will do. It
see ma he didn't have a cent, either,
and we went into close caucus. He
explained why an able burglar some
times haa to travel on freights by
telling me that a servant girl had
played him false in Little Rock, and
ho was making a quick get-away.
" 'lt's part of my business,' says
Bill Bassett, 'to play up to the ruf
fles when 1 want to make a riffle as a
Raffles. 'Tis loves that makes the bit
go 'round. Show me a house with the
pwag in it and a pretty parlor-maid,
and you might as well call the silver
melted down and sold, and me spell
ing truffles and that Chateau trick on
the napkin under my chin, while the
police are calling it an inside job just
because the old lady's nephew teaches
a Bible class. I first make an imjrres
sion on the girl,' says Bill, 'and when
she lets me inside I make an impres
sion on the locks. But this one in
Little Rock done me,' says he. 'She
saw me taking a trolley ride with an
other girl, and when I came 'round on
the night she was to leave the door
open for me it was fast. And I had
keys made for the doors upstairs. But,
no sir. She had sure cut off my locks.
She was a Delilah,' says Bill Bassett.
"JJ seems that Bill tried to break
in anyhow with his jimmy, but the
girl emitted a succession of bravura
noises like the top-riders of a tally-ho.
and Bill had to take all the hurdles
between there and the depot. As he
had no baggage they tried hard to
check his departure, but he made a
train that was just pulling out.
" 'Well,' says Bill Bassett, when we
had exchanged memoirs of our dead
lives, 'I could eat. This town don't
look like it was kept under a Yale
lock. Suppose we commit some mild
atrocity that will bring in temporary
expense .money. I don't suppose
CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 12, 1907.
you've brought along any hair tonic
or rolled gold watch chains, or similar
law-defying swindles that you could
sell on the plaza to the pikers of the
jaretic populace, have you?'
" 'No,' says I, 'I left an elegant line
of Patagonian diamond earrings and
rain>-day sunbursts in my valise at
Peavine. But they're to stay there till
some of them blackgum traes begin to
glut the market with yellow clings
and Japanese plums. I reckon we
can't, count on them unless we take
Luther Burbank in for a partner.'
" 'Very well,' says Bassett, 'we'll do
the best we can. Maybe after dark
I'll borrow a hairpin from some lady,
and open the Farmers & Drovers Ma
rine bank with it.'
"While we was talking, up pulls a
passenger train to the depot nearby.
A person in a high hat gets off on the
wrong side of the train and comes
tripping down the track towards us.
He was a little, fat man with a big
nose and rat's eyes, but dressed ex
pensive, and carrying a band-satchel
careful, as if it had eggs or railroad
bonds In it. He passes by us and
keeps on down the track, not appear
ing to notice the town.
" 'Come on,' says Bill Bassett to me,
starting after him.
"'Where?' I asks.
"'Lordy!' says Bill, 'had you for
got you was in the desert? Didn't you
see Col. Manna drop down right be
fore your eyes? Don't you hear the
rustling of Gen. Raven's wings? I'm
surprised at you, Elijah.'
"We overtook the stranger in the
edge of some woods, and, as it was
after sundown and in a quiet place,
nobody saw us stop him. Bill takes
the silk hat off his head and brushes
it w.'th his sleeve and puts it back.
" 'What does this mean, sir?' says
the man.
" 'When I wore one of these,' says
Bill, 'and felt embarrassed, I always
done that. Not having one now I
had to use yours. 1 hardly know how
to begin, sir, in explaining our busi
ness with you, but I guess we'll try
your pockets first.'
"Bill Bassett felt in all of them, and
looked disgusted.
" 'Not even a watch,' says he.
'Ain't you ashamed of yourself, you
whited sculpture? Going about dressed
like a head-waiter, and financed like a
count. You haven't even got carfare.
What did you do with your transfer?'
"The man speaks up and says he
has no assets or valuables of any sort.
Hut Bassett takes his hand-satchel
and opens it. Out comes some collars
and socks and half a page of a news
paper clipped out. Bill reads the clip
pings careful, and holds out his hand
to the held-up party.
"'Brother,' says he, 'greetings!
Accept the apologies of friends. I am
Hill Bassett, the burglar. Mr. Peters,
you must make the acquaintance of
Mr. Alfred E. Ricks. Shake hands.
Mr. Peters,' says Bill, 'stands about
halfway between me and you, Mr.
Ricks, in the line of havoc and cor
ruption. He always gives something
for the money he gets. I'm glad to
meet you, Mr. Ricks —you and Mr.
Peters. This is the first time I ever
attended a full gathering of the na
tional synod of sharks —housebreak-
ing, swindling and financiering all rep
resented. Please examine Mr. Ricks'
credentials, Mr. Peters.'
"The piece of newspaper that Bill
Bassett handed me had a good picture
c.f this Ricks on it. It was a Chicago
paper, and it had obloquies of Ricks
in every paragraph. By reading it
ever I harvested the intelligence that
said alleged Ricks had laid off all that
portion of the state of Florida that
lies under water Into town lots and
sold 'em to alleged innocent investors
from his magnificently furnished of
fices in Chicago. After he had taken
in a hundred thousand or so dollars
one of these fussy purchasers that are
always making trouble (I've had 'em
actually try gold watches I've sold
em with acid) took a cheap excursion
down to the land where it is always
just before supper to look at his lot
and see if it didn't need a new paling
or two on the fence, and market a
few lemons in time for the Christinas
present, trade. He hires a surveyor to
find his lot for him. They run the
line out and find the flourishing town
of .paradise Hollow, so advertised, to
be about 40 rods and 1G poles S., 27
degrees E. of the middle of Lake
Okeechobee. This man's lot was un
der "6 feet of water, and, besides, had
been preempted so long by the alli
gators and gars that bis title looked
fishy.
"Naturally, the man goes back to
Chicago and makes it as hot for Al
fred E. Ricks as the morning after a
prediction of snow by the weather
bureau. Ricks defied the allegation,
but he couldn't deny the alligators.
.One morning the papers come out
with a column about it, and Rfcks
comes out by the fire-escape. It seems
the alleged authorities had beat him
to the safe-deposit box where he kept
his winnings, and Ricks has to west
ward ho! with only feetwear and a
dozen 15% English pokes in his shop
ping bag. He happened to have some
mileage left In kis book, and that
took him as far as the town in the
wilderness where he was spilled out
on me and Bill Bassett as Elijah 111,
with net a raven in sight for any of
us.
"Then this Alfred E. Ricks lefcs out
a squeak that he is hungry, too, and
passes up the hypothesis that he is
good for the value, let alone the price,
of a meal. And so, there was the
three of us, representing, if we had a
mind to draw syllogisms and parabo
las, labor and trade and capital. Now,
when trade has no capital there isn't
a dicker to be made. And when capi
tal has no money there's a stagnation
in steak and onions. That put it up
to the man with the jimmy.
" 'Brother bushrangers,' sajs Bill
Bassett, 'never yet, in trouble, did I
desert a pal. Hard by, In yon wood,
I seem to see unfurnished lodgings.
Let us go there and wait till dark.'
"There was an old, deserted cabin
In tiitj grove, and we three took pos
session of it. After dark Bill Bassett
tells us to wait, and goes out for half
an hour. Ho comes back with a arm
ful of bread and sparcribs and pies.
" 'Panhandled 'eni at a farmhouse
on Washita avenue,' says he. 'Eat,
drink, and be leary.'
"The full moon was coming up
bright, so we sat on the floor of the
cabin ana ate in the light of it. Aud
this Hill Bassett begins to brag.
" 'Sometimes,' says he, with his
mouth full of country produce. 'I lose
all patience with you people that
think you are higher up in the profes
sion than I am. Now, what could
either of you do in the present emer
gency to set us on our feet again?
Could you do it, Ricksy?'
" 'I must confess, Mr. Bassett,' says
Ricks, speaking nearly inaudible out
of a slice of pie, 'that at this immedi
ate juncture I could not, perhaps, pro
mote an enterprise to relieve the sit
uation. Large operations, such as I
direct, naturally require careful prep
aration in advance. I —*
"'I know, Ricksy,' breaks in Bill
Bassett. 'You needn't finish. You
need SSOO to make the first payment
on a blonde typewriter, and four
roomsful of quartered oak furniture.
And you need SSOO more for advertis
ing contracts. And you need two
weeks' time for the fish to begin to
bite. Your line of relief would be
about as useful in an emergency as
advocating municipal ownership to
cure a man suffocated by 80-cent gas.
And your graft ain't much swifter
Brother Peters,' he winds up.
" 'Oh,' says I, 'I haven't seen you
turn anything into gold with your
wand yet, Mr. Good Fairy. 'Most any
body could rub the magic ring for a
little left-over victuals.'
" 'That was only getting the pump
kin ready,' says Bassett, braggy and
cheerful. 'The coach and six'll
drive up to the door before you know
it, Miss Cinderella. Maybe you've got
some scheme under your sleeve-hold
ers that will give us a start.'
" 'Son,' says I, 'l'm fifteen years
older than you are, and young enough
to yet take out an endowment policy.
I've been broke before. We can see
the lights of that town not half a mile
away. I learned under Montague Sil
ver, the greatest street man that ever
spoke from a wagon. There are hun
dreds of men walking those streets
this moment with grease spots on
their clothes. Give me a gasoline
lamp, a dry goods box, and a two-dol
lar bar of white castile soap, cut into
little '
" 'Where's your two dollars?' snick
ered Bill Bassett into my discourse.
There was no use arguing with that
burglar.
"'No,' he goes on; 'you're both
babes-in-the-wood. Finance has closed
the mahogany desk, and trade has put
the shutters up. Bum of you look to
labor to start the wheels going. All
right. You admit it. To-night I'll
show you what Bill Bassett can do.'
" 'Bassett tells me and Ricks not to
leave the cabin till he comes back,
even if it's daylight, and then he
starts off toward town, whistling
say."
"This Alfred E. Ricks pulls off his
shoes and his coat, lays a silk hand
kerchief over his hat, and lays down
on the floor.
" 'I think I will endeavor to secure
a little slumber,' he squeaks. 'The
day has been fatiguing. Good-night,
my dear Mr. Peters.'
" 'My regards to Morpheus,' says I.
'I think I'll sit up a while.'
"About two o'clock, as near as I
could guess by my watch in Peavine,
home comes our laboring man and
kicks up Ricks, and calls us to the
streak of bright moonlight shining in
Packages of SI,OOO each.
the cabin door. Then he spreads out
five packages of SI,OOO each on the
floor, and begins to cackle over the
nest-egg like a hen.
" 'l'll tell you a few things about
that town,' says he. 'lt's named
Rocky Springs, and they're building a
Masonic temple, and it looks like the
Democratic candidate for mayor is
going to get soaked by a Pop, and '
Judge Tucker's wife, who has been
down with pleurisy, is some better. I
had to talk on these liliputian thesises
before I could get a siphon in the
fountain of knowledge that I was
after. And there's a bank there called
the Lumberman's Fidelity and Plow
man's Savings Institution. It closed
for business yesterday with $23,000
cash on hand. It will open this morn
ing with SIB,OO0 —all silver —that's the
reason I didn't bring more. There
; • i are, trade and capital. Now, will
; is be bad?'
My young friend,' says Alfred
i.iL :s, holding up his hands, 'have
you robbed this bank? Dear me,
dear me!'
" 'You couldn't call It that,' says
Bassett. ' "Robbing" sounds harsh.
All I had to do was to find out what
strei# it was on. That town is so
quiet that I could stand on the corner
and hear the tumblers clicking in that
safe lock—"right to 45; left twice to
80; right once to GO; left to 15" —as
plain as the Yale captain giving orders
in the football dialect. Now, boys,'
says Bassett, 'this is an early rising
town. They tell me the citizens are
all up and stirring before daylight. I
asked what for, and they said be
cause breakfast was ready at that
time. And what of merry Robin
Hood? It must be Yoicks! and away
with the tinkers' chorus. I'll stake
you. How much do you want? Speak
up, Capital.'
" 'My dear young friend,' says this
ground squirrel of a Ricks, standing
on his hind legs and juggling nuts in
his paws, 'I have friends in Denver
who would assist me. If I had a hun
dred dollars I—'
"Bassett unpins a package of the
currency and throws five twenties to
Ricks.
" 'Trade, how much?' he says to
me.
" 'Put your money up, Labor,' says
I. 'I never yet drew upon honest toil
for its hard-earned pittance. The dol
lars I get are surplus ones that are
V U j/%.
a®
/&. -
"Well, bj-glary ought to be wiped
out, too."
burning the pockets of damfools and
greenhorns. When I stand on a
street corner and sell a solid gold dia
mond ring to a yap for three dollars,
I make just $2.60. And I know he's
going to give it to a girl in return for
all the benefits accruing from <i $125
ring. His profits are $122. Which of
us is the biggest fakir?'
" 'And when you sell a poor woman
a pinch of sand for 50 cents to keep
her lamp from exploding,' says Bas
sett, 'what do you figure her gross
earnings to be, with sand at 40 cents
a ton?'
" 'Listen,' says I. 'I instruct her to
keep her lamp clean and well filled.
If she does that it can't bust. And
with the sand in it she knows it can't,
and she don't worry. It's a kind of
industrial Christian Science. She pays
50 cents, and gets both Rockefeller
and Mrs. Eddy on the job. It ain't
everybody that can let the gold-dust
twins do their work.'
"Alfred E. Ricks all but licks the
dust off of Bill Bassett's shoes.
" 'My dear young friend,' says he, 'I
will never forget your generosity.
Heaven will reward you. But let me
implore you to turn from your ways
of violence and crime.'
" 'Mousie,' says Bill, 'the hole in the
wainscoting for yours. Your dogmas
and inculcations sound to me like the
last words of a bicycle pump. What
has your high moral, elevator-service
system of pillage brought you to?
Penuriousness and want. Even Bro
ther Peters, who insists upon contam
inating the art of robbery with
theories of commerce and trade, ad
mitted he was on the lift. Both of
you live by the gilded rule. Brother
Peters,' says Bill, 'you'd better choose
a slice of this embalmed currency.
You're welcome*'
"I told Bill Bassett once more to
put his money in his pocket. I never
had the respect for burglary that some
people have. I always gave some
thing for the money I took, even if it
was only some little trifle for a sou
venir to remind 'em not to get caught
again.
"And then Alfred E. Ricks grovels
at Bill's feet again, and bids us adieu.
He says he will have a team at a
farmhouse, and drive to the station
below, and take the train for Denver.
It salubrified the atmosphere when
that lamentable boil-worm took his de
parture. He was a disgrace to every
nonindustrial profession in the coun
try. With all his big schemes and
fine ofllces he had wound up unable
even to get an honest meal except by
the kindness of a strange and maybe
unscrupulous burglar. I was glad to
see him go, though I felt a little sorry
for him, now that he was ruined for
ever. What could such a man do
without a big capital to Work with?
Why, Alfred E. Ricks, as we left him,
was as helpless as a turtle on its back.
He couldn't have worked a scheme to
beat a little girl out of a penny slate
nencil.
•'When me and Bill Bassett was left
ajone I did a little sleight-of-mind turn
in my head with a trade secret at the
end of it. Thinks I, I'll show this Mr.
Burglar Man the difference between
business and labor. He had hurt some
of my professional self-adulation by
casting his Persians upon commerce
and trade.
" 'I won't take any of your money as a
gift, Mr. Bassett,' says I to him,
'but if you'll pay my expenses as a
traveling companion until we get out
of the danger zone of the immoral def
icit you have caused in this town's
finances to-night, I'll be obliged.'
"Bill Bassett agreed to that, and
we hiked westward as soon as we
could catch a safe train.
"When we got to a town in Arizona
failed Los Perros I suggested that we
once more try our luck on terra cotta.
That was the home of Montague Sil
ver, my old instructor, now retired
from business. I knew Monty would
stake me to web money if I could
show him a fly buzzing 'round in the
locality. Bill Bassett said all towns
looked alike to him as he worked
mainly in the dark. So we got off the
train in Los Perros, a fine little town
In the silver region.
"I had an elegant little sure thing
in the way of a commercial slung
shot that I intended to hit Bassett be
hind the ear with. I wasn't going to
take his money while he was asleep,
but I was going to leave him with a
lottery ticket that would represent in
experience to him $5,755—1 think that
was the amount he had when he got
off the train. But the first time I
hinted to him about an investment, he
turns on me and disencumbers him
self of the following terms and ex
pressions:
" 'Brother Peters,' says he, 'it ain't
a had idea togo into an enterprise of
some kind, as you suggest. I think I
will. But if I do it will be such a cold
proposition that nobody but Robert E.
Peary and Charlie Fairbanks will be
able to sit on the board of directors.'
" 'I thought you might want to turn
your money over,' says I.
"'I do,' says he, 'frequently. I can't
sleep on one side all night. I'll tell
you, Brother Peters,' says he, 'l'm
going to start a poker room. I don't
seem to care for the humdrum in
swindling, such as peddling egg-beat
ers and working off breakfast food
on Barnum and Bailey for sawdust to
strew in their circus rings. But the
gambling business,' says he, 'from the
profitable side of the table is a good
compromise between swiping silver
spoons and selling penwipers at a
Waldorf-Astoria charity bazaar.'
" 'Then,' says I, 'Mr. Bassett, you
don't care to talk over my little busi
ness proposition?'
" 'Why,' says he, 'do you know, you
can't get a Pasteur institute to star!
up within 50 miles of where I live. I
bite so seldom.'
"So Bassett rents a room over a
saloon and looks around for some fur
niture and chromos. The same night
1 went to Monty Silver's house, and
he let me have S2OO on my prospects.
Then I went to the only store in Log
Perros that sold playing cards and
bought every deck in the house. The
next morning when the store opened
I was there, bringing all the cards
back with me. I said that my partnei
that was going to back me in th«
game had changed his mind; and 1
wanted to sell the cards back again
The storekeeper took 'em at hall
price.
"Yes, I was $75 loser up to thai
time. But while I had the cards thai
night I marked every one in everj
deck. That was labor. And then trade
and commerce had their innings, and
the bread 1 had cast upon the waters
began to come ba> in the form ol
cottage pudding with wine sauce.
"Of course I was among the first to
buy chips at Bill Bassett's game. He
had bought the only cards there was
to be had in town; and I knew the
back of every one of them teetter than
I know the back of my head when tha
barber shows me my haircut in tha
two mirrors.
"When the game closed I had the
six thousand and a few odd dollars, and
all Bill Bassett had was the wander
lust and a black cat ie had bought fox
a mascot. Bill shook hands with ma
when I left.
" 'Brother Peters,' says he, 'I have
no business being in business. I was
preordained to labor. When a No. 1
burglar tries to make a James out oi
his jimmy he perpetrates an impro
fundity. You have a well-oiled and
efficacious system of luck at cards,'
says he. 'Peace go with you.' And 1
never afterward sees Bill Bassett
again."
"Well, Jeff," said I, when the Auto
lycan adventurer seemed to have di
vulged the gist of his tale, "I hope you
took care of the money. That would
be a respecta—that is a considerable
working capital if you should choose
some day to settle down to some sort
of regular business."
"Me?" said Virtuously. "You
ean bet I've taken care of that six
thousand."
He tapped his coat over the region
of his chest exultantly.
"Gold mining stock," he explained,
"every cent of it. Shares par value
one dollar. Bound togo up 500 pet
cent, within a year. Non-assessable,
The Blue Gopher mine. Just discov
ered a month ago. Better get in your
self if you've any spare dollars on
hand."
"Sometimes," said I, "these mine<
are not —"
"Oh, this one's solid as an old
goose," said Jeff. "Fifty thousand dol
lars' worth of ore in sight, and ten
per cent, monthly earnings guaran
teed."
He drew a long envelope from his
pocket and cast it on the table.
"Always carry it with me," said he.
"So the burglar can't carrupt err the
capitalist break in and water it."
I looked at the beautifully engraved
certificate of stock.
"In Colorado, I see," said I."And,
by the way, Jeff, what was the name
of the little man who went to Denver
—the one you and Bill met at the sta
tion?"
"Alfred E. Ricks," said Jeff, "was
the toad's designation."
"I see," said I, "the president of
this mining company signs himself A.
L. Fredericks. I was wondering—"
"Let me see that stock," said Jefl
quickly, almost snatching it from me.
To mitigate, even though slightly,
the embarrassment of the moment 1
summoned the waiter and ordered an'
other bottle of the Barbera. I thought
it was the least I could do.