ANDRUSS, ANTI MASHER By WM. HAMILTON OSBORNE. CVER since its birth, and up to a year or two ago, Bellport, as a city, had been noted for its proper tendencies. It was a large but old-fashioned place and it be haved itself. Latterly, however, its in crease in importance had brought into it a multitude of strangers. Some of these strangers were desirable—others unmistakably the reverse. One of the old citizens of the place known to everybody was Mr. Andrew Andruss. He was not particularly old in years, but he was old in virtue. He possessed all the requisite qualities of a genteel old maid. He was vigorous, however, and, naturally, he was a crank. But Bellport tolerated him. Mr. J. Warner Trevelyan, on the other hand, was a newcomer, known to but few. Mr. Andruss and Mr. Trevelyan, diametric opposites as they were, had never met. There was no reason why they should. Trevelyan was a good all round sort of a man; some people might have called him a sport; he certainly was free and easy. He was also handsome. Mr. Andrew Andruss, the native, had lived in Bellport just forty years, and Mr. Trevelyan, the outlander, just forty days, when Bellport held up for discus sion a tremendous problem. Mr. Andruss began the agitation, for he was a public-minded citizen, and a public-minded citizen is very apt to agi tate the public upon all vices save his own. Mr. Andruss had been the cause of several uprisings in the interest of law and order. He did not smoke, there fore in years past he had begun crusades against liquor and cigarettes. He never had owned an automobile or a fast horse, therefore he was careful to denounce both. So from time to time he kept the public mind agog. His latest outburst, it may be, was well justified—it was a crusade against mashing. The term "mashing" is one well recognized and it has its place in literature. But it had no place in Bell port, so declared Mr. Andruss and his followers—for they never had indulged in the pernicious habit This habit, so declared Mr. Andruss, had been im ported into Bellport; it was a device of the Philistines. Andruss made a public matter of it, and called a meeting of 'bft . fi.tivpnc nf tV»o tnvvn both male and fema»c. He presided. "Ladies and gentleman," he began, "fellow citizens of the city of Bellport, a grievous evil has arisen in our midst, due, as I am assured, to the pernicious habits of outsiders—l refer to the disreputable custom of mashing. It is our purpose to adopt measures to wipe this evil from the face of the earth. It is an evil that the police are unable and unwilling to eradicate. The remedy lies with us and with all true gentlemen. It is our purpose, therefore, to form this night the Bellport Society for the Promotion of Propriety." These remarks were received with en thusiasm. The society was duly formed with Mr. Andruss as its president. Its members were of all classes, many of 1| $2.50 ANDS3,OO IMPORTED RAZORS | BND° und Q7 C BY MAIL DIRECT PORTER TO YOU We are the largest importers of rathe fnited States. We only sell by mail, direct to consumer, .saving you the nnd retailer's profit—we - import our razors in large quantities, dire<W,<* i all the leading manufacturers that is the reason we can afford to sell all the A.'tig brands of razors including the Wade & Butcher, Wostenbolm I'ipe, 1%% Razor, linker Tree Brand * and other leading makes at 97c. These same idet V' razors are sold all over the country at *2 80 and $3 00 but by buying these IT «£. direct from us at 97c. you save the middleman s profit. All razors are guars and are act ready & f . or . l,se - Any razor that does not give perfect sntisK -lion can be exchanged. H A chance of a life-time to buy a good razor at one-third its real value. 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Money returned ll'not t-ntlrclv »utUlitetorv bt S \** VX ™- *1 Win> OC'FAN SfTlll" by Stuart. MM 11. by <'nlffnno. NOItM VNMV MIKI-!!* FOIJK l»y llulrri THE LOVE POTION, by lioneland. TIIK PAIRfK** l>\\<K, by Corot. Mounted on soft mats, 17x22 Inches. ready for framlne. catalogue of other subjects mailed free on reouest ART RRPROnrOTIONK, »tl I'urL Row, New York. them clergymen and law-and-order leaguers. It was a salutary movement. The members agreed to take the law into their own hands, and personally to turn offenders over to the law, or to ad minister personal chastisement The women present agreed to do their part— though from the appearance of the ma jority of the fair sex present, it is doubt ful whether any of them had received more than their quota erf masculine at tention. But there was a difficulty in the way. "We must consider one thing," continued Mr. Andruss, "and that is, that there are some benighted young women who pre fer the attentions of these mashers. As our offices necessarily must be confined to those who resent such attentions, there must be some means by which the lambs may be distinguished from the sheep. We, therefore, ladies and gentlemen, have caused to be manufactured these beautiful buttons, which shall be dis tributed broadcast among the men and women of the city. While it is generally easy to determine whether the attentions of a niasher are resented, or otherwise, yet in a doubtful case, this button will decide. This button may, nay, will, be worn by any young woman who prefers to have it known that she desires the protection of the Society. The button .may be worn also by males, thus in forming females that protection is at hand. This, we believe, will prevent mashers from pursuing their nefarious practices." The button was a somewhat conspicu ous white, celluloid affair, and upon it were inscribed these words: "I BELONG TO BELLPORT SOCIETY OF PROMOTION OF PROPRIETY. DOWN WITH THE MASHERS." In a day or two all Bellport was in terested in the scheme. Case after case was reported in the newspapers of some husky young clergyman or other upright citizen who, by the might of right and strength, had smashed some masher. These men were heroes. The only difficulty seemed to be that frequently a young woman found sev eral men looking at her intently—men who, prima facie, were nothing less than masher; but later she observed that each of these men wore the anti-mashing but ton, and then she knew at once, that in looking at her so intently they were not mashers, but members trying to deter mine whether she were one who rightly came under their protection. Andruss was muscular. In times past he had led crusades against saloons with -v?£i£i i'-'pd Oiiink. m tir. wia, certainly was all there when it came to doing things. But unfortunately, no op portunity had yet arisen by which he might distinguish himself as a Promoter of Propriety, although he kept his eyes wide open. But his opportunity came at last. One evening at the hour of midnight he boarded a trolley car on his way home. The car was well filled but not crowded. All the seats, however, were taken. He was the only passenger who stood, and he had a good opportunity, therefore, to keep his eye upon the other occupants who sat. Suddenly he started. "By George," he exclaimed profanely, "look at that!" All this lie said merely to himself. , Well might he exclaim. For upon one PICTORIAL MAGAZINE AND COMIC SECTION side of the car there sat a man whom Mr. Andruss would have called a fiend in human shape. This fiend was a hand some young man, dressed in the height of fashion. He looked something like | a sport. And this man was doing noth ing more nor less than smiling into the face of a pretty woman, young and very attractive, who sat across the way. Every time she met his glance she slightly flushed, but the young man kept 011 smiling. This young man was Mr. J. Warner j Trevelyan, but to Mr. Andruss he was unknown. Andruss, in order to make 110 mistake, watched his operations for a few mo ments; the fellow; was persistent. He waited until the young woman looked once more in his direction, and then lie boldly winked at her. The young woman, aware that Mr. Andruss and others in the car were watching her, flushed tip again. Mr. Andruss moved a step nearer to tile scene of operations. Then he breathed a sigh of relief. For in a con spicuous place upon the woman's dress was the beautiful button of Promoters of Propriety. This meant that the young woman resented the familiarity of the man across the way and that she was in need of help. And Mr. Andruss was ready to give it. lie stepped up to the young man and regarded him sternly. The young man did not seem to see him. Instead, he kept his eyes fastened upon the girl across the way. "Sir," exclaimed Mr. Andruss sternly, "you're a scoundrel!" Mr. J. Warner Trevelyan sniffed the I air. Then he turned aside his head. "Such a lot of drunks on the cars nowa days," he murmured to the man next to him. The man next to him, who did not care to be mixed up in anything, failed to make reply. Mr. Trevelyan threw back his over coat somewhat carelessly. As he did so Mr. Andruss gasped with astonishment. For there, displayed upon the lapel of the young masher was another button of the anti-mashers. Mr. Andruss' im patience then knew no bounds. For the young gentleman, boldly displaying this button to advantage and utterly ignoring Mr. Andruss, again winked upon the young lady and slightly motioned with his head. "You—you—you hypocrite," yelled Mr. Andruss, advancing in a rage upon the young man and tearing from his coat the button; "you ungodly scoundrel— fiend in human shape!" Then and there he set upon and beat the young man about the head, and immediately there was a furore in the car of the most ex ■ • 1 ciung KIIIU. The young man, whose hat had been knocked off but who otherwise had been uninjured, immediately jumped to re gain his headgear, and in that unguarded moment Andruss was again upon him. The young man was peaceably inclined, but Andruss was not. "You—you loafer!" lie shouted to the other. "If you weren't drunk," replied the young man calmly, "I'd knock you down." Andruss was not drunk, and the passengers who knew him knew that he was not. Andruss therefore called upon the citizens for aid. The citizens, many of them members of the society, started into render it. But the young man was able to a large extent to take care of himself. He parried blows and tripped up men wth wonderful impartiality. He seemed to enjoy the thing. But they were too much for him. Finally he had to yield. They pushed him up into the corner of the car, and a half dozen men seized him. As they hustled him out of the car he shouted out to somebody in a loud voice. But the crowd never heeded his cries. They hauled him out and down the steps, and the car went on. As it went on, the young lady, who had been in a great state of excitement, now burst into tears and littered inco herent things. As for Trevelyan, he was locked up j overnight, and every anti-masher an 1! promoter of propriety promised to l)e 011 hand to prosecute him in the morning. "You fellows will be sorry over this," he said, as he was led downstairs. 'I he next morning Andruss and his followers were all on hand. As this was a very flagrant case, Andruss 011 his way down had called upon the Rev. Jonathan Boggs, a new clergyman in the city, who was interested in the move ment. Mr. Boggs' sermons were always up to date, and Mr. Andruss knew he would be glad of the opportunity to be present They all assembled at the courtroom. Back in a remote corner, unnoticed by all save Andruss, sat a young lady. This was the young lady of the car the night before. Andruss, seeing that he was flustered and unstrung, did not approach her, but knew that indue time he could use her as a willing witness. The clergyman, the center of another group, stood up near the front. The prisoner was brought in. The clergy man, who was a bit nearsighted, peered at him over his glasses. The young man did not see the minister. "What's the charge here?" asked the police court judge. Mr. Andruss stepped forward. At that j instant the young lady, who for the first time had seen the prisoner, rushed for ward with a little scream. "Warner! she exclaimed, throwing her amis about his neck. At the same instant the clergyman started forward. "Why—why," he de manded, "what's the meaning of this, Mary, my child? And Trcvelyan? Why, what do you do here?" lie did not exactly understand what was going on. But -nevertheless, he turned around to Andruss. "Mr. An druss," he exclaimed, "permit me to pre sent to you my daughter Mary, now Mrs. J. Warner Trcvelyan, and my son in-law, Mr. J. Warner Trcvelyan. Mr. Andruss—Mr. Trcvelyan. Mr. Why, bless me, what's the matter?'' There was matter enough, it seemed. Mr. Trevelyan, a very angry man, waited patiently until Mr. Andruss had abjectly withdraw his complaint against Trcve lyan for attempting to llirt with his own wife. Then Trcvelyan, with consider able vigor, advanced a complaint against the whole crowd for assault and battery. Ihc Court smiled and accepted the com plaint. He fixed bail at SI,OOO apiece. As there were none present whom the court would accept as bail—he was down 011 the propriety promoters—he ordered FAMOUS TEXAN FAMILY OF HUNTER& » Mr' JC. HILL, of Harlingen, Southwest Texas, is a lawyer who ha.s made # a fortune in lands along the Rio Grande. Being a descendant of a Choctaw chieftan, he has inherited .;11 the fondness of his race for hunting. All his children, both hoys and girls, also showed a fondness for hunting as soon *1]?" 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" I he costs," announced the court, look ing sternly at Mr. Andrew Andruss, "will be thirty-three dollars." Mr. Andrew Andruss wilted, for he was a bit of a miser. The clergyman stepped forward."l will pay the costs," he announced with a smile; and he did. Mr. Andruss and his followers are now members of his church, and left their own to join it. I hat evening the Bellport Banner came out with flaring headlines: BELLPORT BENEDICTS MAY WINK AT THEIR WIVES. Justice Murphy So Decides, And Andrew Andruss Concurs. The next day Mr. Andrew Andruss resigned as the president of the Bellport Society for the Promotion of Propriety. Ihe Trcvelyan affair was his first ex perience at anti-mashing, and it has been his last. and girls are equally at home with rifle, shotgun or revolver. All but the young est two can do fancy shooting with the rifle, and even the youngest have bagged turkey, deer, wolves and leopard cat*. I he older children never return empty banded when they go hunting. 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