LORD MAYOR A SNAP. PAID $50,000 A YEAR TO EAT 810 DINNERS. WHOLE THING MAKE BELIEVE. London "City" Going Bankrupt Payin?, for a Lot of Foolish Fuss and Feath ers—Only One Man Living Who Knows What It Is that the Lord May or Has to Do—Dignity to a Degree. That ([Ueer hodgepodge compound of the Middle Ages and the twentieth cen tury, the famous corporation of the city of London, is threatened with bankrup tcy, .-ays an exchange. In all Christen dom there is proltably no municipal gov erning body which surrounds itself witli so much antiquated and costly ceremoni al, employs so many gorgeous and utter ly useless ollicials, and indulges in so much picturesque, but otherwise need less fuss and rigmarole as the unique organization which holds supreme sway over a square mile in the middle of the capital of the British Empire. Imagine a small section in the busiest part of New York, Boston, Philadelphia or any of the earliest settled American cities, set a sine to be governed in accord ance with colonial traditions and cus toms, and one will obtain a faint idea of what is known as the "city" oilers to tlie rest of London. It would be inadequate, because quaint simplicity characterized colonial administration, while for its models and symbols of municipal power the London corporation goes back to a much more remote period, when show, pomp, and glitter were considered essen tial to the exercise of authority. It was the only one of a large number of similar bodies that escaped reforma tion in 1835, when Parliament undertook to remodel municipal administrations and sweep away the abuses, extrava gances and archaic methods of doing business which pervaded them. Again, when in 188 S. to bring London's govern ment up to date, the London county coun cil ,>:i- formed and invested with general control over its various borough-, its ter ritory enibiaeing 121 square miles, the corporation's bailiwick was exempted from its authority. Commercial Heart of the Metropolis. Small though it is. the "city" contains the commercial heart of the metropolis, with tin liank of England as its center. Within its boundaries are situated the great financial houses of the empire. Though practically deserted at night, a million people swarm over it in the day time. Devoted solely to business, its control by men whose chief aim appears to be the perpetuation of antique cus toms and hoary traditions is one of the most striking anachronisms of modern times. But no human institution, public or private, can keep going indefinitely if it persists in spending more money than it receives. "Pay up or bust" is the modern law of the survival of the fittest. The accounts of the corporation for 1903, which have only recently been published —in itself a significant revelation of its business methods—show that its rev enues amounted to $2,228,100 and its ex penditure-; to $2,009,040, leaving a deficit of $471,650. In the previous year the deficit amounted to $381,095. The gap between expenses and receipts, it will thus be seen, is increasing. At the present rate it has been esti mated that insolvency will be reached in eleven years. Then reformation can no longer be postponed, and dignitaries Newspaper Publishers and Job Printers I Bran new 8-point Roman newspaper body type, cast from standard formula type metal, at twenty-five cents per pound. Eleven-point lawbrief at 25c per pound. All unit or point set, (self-spacing.) Liberal discount for cash. Five hundred pounds up twenty-four cents. Immediate shipments. Empire Type Foundry, R ptf Delevan, N. Y. PIANOS! Prospective purchasers can find no better makes 10 tnouse from than th« Weber, Henry F* Miller, Ivers & Pond, Estey, Shoninger, F* S. Slade, Wheelock, Hobart M. Cable, Stuyvesant. All Pianos Bought For Spot Cash and Sold At The Lowest Possible Prices -tfwfc New Uprights as low as $165.00. Fully Guaranteed. Ten years ot unquestioned business integrity and reliability. F. cS. SI J/VDE, Write for Catalogues Hain Street, and Prices. BUFFALO, NEW YORK whose chief function it now is to eat a prodigious number of official dinners, wear gorgeous robes, and go through fun ny ceremonies with sober faces, will be j dismissed; the "city" will be added to the domain of the. London county coun cil.and business methods will bo substi tuted for fossilized customs. The Mighty City Marshal. Despite its financial condition the cor poration stubbornly persists in retaining all the useless and purely ornamental part of its outfit. Of this a typical in stance has just occurred. Attached to the lord mayor's entourage is a function ary known as the city marshal. The of fice originated in the fifteenth century, nnd in those old days the city marshal really earned his pay. lie had charge of the city watch, and it was his business to see that the rogues and vagabonds were kept in check. Rut the modern method of policing the streets has long rendered him obsolete. The city corpor ation has transformed him into a species of herald for chief magistrates. Dressed in scarlet uniform, brocaded in gold with cocked hat and plumes, booted and spurred, on a prancing steed, he precedes the lord mayor on his oflicial journeys through the city in the cumbersome old $50,000 state coach, and calls on all and sundry to make way for him. At other civic functions he announces the approach of this august personage. To see him do it is worth something. Arrayed as an opera boufife general, with majestic strides, he makes his entry and, having reached the requisite spot, halts, faces the awe-stricken assemblage, tills his lungs and shouts out, "The right honorable." 'then he pauses, takes an other deep breath, and at the top of his voice roars forth, "the lord mayor of London." At this dramatic moment the lord mayor t losses the t lireshold. For performances of this sort the city mar shal gets $1,500 a year, and the city pro vides hirn with a horse. For some years Capt. Stanley, a second cousin of the Earl of Derby, held the easy but inglorious office. But a short time ago he was dismissed because, it was stated, lie had become involved in private financial difficulties, though much more serious troubles were hinted at. Anyhow, it afforded the corporation a brilliant opportunity to ~avc his salary by abolishing the useless office. Yet only one voice was raised in suppfirt of a mo tion to that ell'cct. "In the name of common sense," said Councilman Davie-, "what dignity does the lord m ;yor derive from having a man in a red coat ride in front of him or strut before him into a courtroom like a popin jay crying 'Make way for the right hon orable the lord mayor?'" Common sense made no answer, but a large majority voted to retain the office, and another aristocratic popinjay, if he can be found, will receive the appoint ment. Costly Ornaments. It is around the lord mayor that all the pomp and pageantry nnd ceremonial tomfoolery centers, culminating in the procession marking the installation of the new lord mayor. In the 1903 accounts the administrative cost of the civic government over which he pre sides is put down at $390,01K). Here are some suggestive items: Lord mayor's salary $50,000.00 Lord mayor's income tax on his salary 3,125.00 lx>rd mayor's robes 2,000.00 Illuminated address to the lord mayor by the common council 202.50 Illuminated address to the lord mayor by the common hall 202.50 Sword bearer's salary 2,500.00 Common crier's salary 2,000.00 City marshal's salary 1,500.00 Four ale conners' salaries 200.00 Equally with the city marshal, the sword bearer and the common crier are antique survivals who fill purely orna mental functions. The ale conners gov small pay. but do absolutely nothing for it. In the old days they were supposed to lie such excellent judges of the ale and beer that they could tell by tasting of the various brews whether they were lit to be introduced to English stomachs. As sacred relies they still figure in the payrolls. The lord mayor is invested with more fictitious dignity than anybody in tin* ! kingdom, 'l int intricate code of etiquette ! that attends him is more rigorously en- j forced than the court of royalty. Inside I the city he takes precedence of all man- I kind save only his sovereign. Even j princes of the royal blood must give way to him. No troops may inarch through it without his permission. With the ex ception of the King. he is the only person in the realm who is privileged to visit the Tower—London's ancient citadel at any hour of the day or night. Eyery twenty-four hours he receives the coun tersign, with the royal seal atlixed —and never uses it. The office ...is long been stripped of its once great powers, but the symbols of its vanished autnority are clung to with greater tenacity than in the old days when lord mayors were really important lord mayor does, but his chief business personages. Some municipal work the is to preside at a lot of ridiculous cere monies, and in general do tilings pre cisely as they have been done by his predecessors since the office was first es tablished. Above all things, he must guard against the introduction of that awful, desecrating, sacrilegious thing—a modern innovation—in any of the eer amonial that attends him on state occa sions. If a handshake should lie substi tuted for anv of the forms of obeisance enjoined on his official satellites when they do homage to him at those times, Ixmdon's civic dignity would be shaken to its foundations. Garb of the Lord Mayor. Mis outfit is as gorgeous as anything to lie seen at a circus parade, and every thing in it is the real thing. His par ticular badge of office is a wondrous col lar of pure gold, over five feet in length. Attached to this is a magnificent pend ant, displaying the city arms in the cen ter, cut in cameo encircled by a wreath of eight roses, with the thistle and sham rock entwined, emblematic of the three kingdoms, and all formed of diamondsof the purest water. It is estimated that these latter alone are worth over SIOO,- 000. Back in 1000 the pendant then in use "disappeared," and now the lord mayor—"right honorable" though lie is— is.required to give heavy bonds for the safe-keeping of the civic jewelry and other costly insignia intrusted to his care. Out of the city's exchequer each lord mayor is provided with three sets of sumptuous robes. One is of scarlet cloth lined with silk and edged with ermine; another is of black silk, over which (low ers are. worked in silver, and the third is of purple silk trimmed with black velvet and costly fur. Just when one or tin? other of these garments should be worn I is known only to the initiated, but something awful would happen if the I lord mayor should appear in the wrong one. j Four ancient swords are used to sym bolize the great powers once wielded by lord mayors in days when doughty war riors sometimes filled the office. One, the j j -scabbard of which is studded with pearls, is known as the "pearl" sword. It was ; presented by Queen Flizabeth when she j opened the first Royal Exchange in 1571. , The "sword of state" dates from 1080. ; In the presence of the King or any of the i | judges it is carried with point down ward; at other times it is borne before the lord mayor with the point upward. A third sword, known as the "black" sword and first used in 1534, is brought out on fast days in Lent, or when a death occurs in the royal family. Last | ly» there is the "Old Bailev" sword, which is placed above the ltnd mayor's I chair when he sits as a judge at the Cen ! till Criminal Court. For toting these old weapons around | ; and making "reverences" before the lord ; mayor the swordbearer gets a cool $2,500 1 a venr. If anv man ever bad a soft snap j he has it, but tlie corporation would rath- J I ergo broke than attempt to govern the , | eitv of Lou-lon without him. He wears a ' I gown of black brocaded satin, and on 1 state occasions this is worn over a black ; court suit, with silk stockings and -hoes ! with silver buckles. One Sir Martin 1 1 Bowes, lord mayor in 1540, presented the city with a "very goodly rovale halt" to be worn by the swordbearer. It was worn out long ago. but the same privilege attaches to the suordbearcrs' headgear, known as the "cap of maintenance," of wearing it in the presence of the sover eign. And the swordbearer would get the sack should he so far forget his proud prerogative as to uncover when the King happens to lie around. Away back in 1534 the citizens of , London obtained a charter from the King authorizing the carrying of n mace be fore the lord mayor, which is considered a good and weighty reason why the cus tom should be retained. The mace now in use was made in 1754. It is 5 feet 1 inches long and weighs nineteen pounds. The official who carries it around is known as the "c 111111011 crier." He also cries "Oyez" three times at the opening of the lord mayor's court, and says some other things more or less unintelligible j that nobody pays any attention to. 111 j the fourteenth century, when the com- ! 111011 crier was of -ome use. he was paid ' .sls a year and 25 cents for each ■ rv he i made through the city. Now that the common crver is of no use majar Ker Fox gels $2,000 a year for the job. There is an tlier mace, called the scep ter of the city of London, which the lord mayor totes around himself 011 special occasions. It measures only a foot and a half in length, but is worth a lot of the big ones, the head being of gold and stud ded with diamonds and other m- I o of other costly baubles and gev. gaws | form part of his paraphernalia. Aim ne them is 1 widen key which is -impose! to unt .k the city gates, 'there happen to be 110 gates (u unlock, but that makes no difference the vaine of "make be lieve" i* s lill kept up. When the K'ng goes instate to the city the lord mayor ; meets him at Temple Bar with h - at- , tendant retinue and hands him the g' del- ■ en key that unlocks nothing. It was in 121.1 that King ,John granted j the citieziiH of London the right to elect I their own mayor annually, but though j the pretense of an election is -till main tained with much solemnity and eere- I mony, it. has long been a farce. The one I thing necessary to liecoine a 'ord mayor of London is to get elected by the rate payers of one of the wards to a life mem bership in a highly ornamented board of aldermen. There are only twenty-five of them, and as they take good care of themselves, and most of them Jive to a green old age, such opportunities are rare. Isut once elected, all a "worship ful' 'alderman has to do to become a lord mayor is to sit tight, and wait his turn, like a man in a barber's shop, until he is "next." First, though, be has to pass through the office of sheriff, election to which is equally farcial. Two sheriffs were chosen annually from among the aldermen, and hold office for a. year. They have noth ing to do with catching offenders, lock ing up prisoners, or any of the duties that pertain to the job in America. Their chief business is to look imposing in wonderful robes, with gold chains around their necks, and otherwise help main tain the city's dignity as mayoral sat ellites. Between them they have to de fray half the expense of the lord mayor's great inaugural functions —the lord may or's show and the lord mayor's banquet. Each of them is allowed $3,750 for ex penses, but a sheriff counts himself lucky who gets through for less than $15,000. And so heavy are the demands on the lord mayor's hospitality that, altliougn his salary equals that of the President of the United States, it usually costs him between SIOO,OOO and $150,000 during the year that he occupies the".Mansion House," as his official residence is called. Dignity to a Degree. The tremendous amount of dignity with which the lord mayor is invested and its remoteness from modern life is well illustrated at the "swearing-in" cer emony which takes place at the Guild hall. It involves a "show-down" of ail his insignia. The mace, the scepter, the sword of state, the purse, the seal, and the other things are in succession laid on the table before him to the accom paniment of many obeisances by the gor geously robed functionaries who carry them, and in the same solemn f.'ishi. n they are again removed from the table. On this occasion the lend mayor gets one dozen "low reverences," three dozen "or dinary reverences," and half a dozen "bows," and 1100 ly cracks a -mile. t Though the recipient of so much hom age, a- he is but a ligurehe.nl. it does not make much difference whether the lord mayor be a great man or a little one. The one jn.-t elected, Alderman John Pound, is a trunk manufacturer, lie has pr veil himself a. good business man by making a lot of money out of it, but otherwise lie is a. man of 110 particular distinction. All the same, he is sure to be knighted before his term of office ex pires. 'I lie real lord mayor—the man behind the scenes, who pulls the strings that work the puppets —is the private seen tary. Lord mayors come and lord may ors go at the rate of one a year, but the private secretary hangs 011. For the last twenty-eight years William Jameson Soulsby Sir William since 1002— has held that job. He i> the man who knows how everything .-houlel be done to eon form to the ancient standard without a hairsbreadth deviation. He piepares the lord mayor's speeches and pilots him thru the maze of ceremonial in which he would be speedily lost without such guidance. What each successive lord mayor does is to put himself unreserved ly in Soulshv's hands, and Soulsby puts him through. I'liis is what John Pound will do, and when his year of office is up he will retire, happy and smiling, ".Sir John" for the rest of his days. But it the corporati 11 does not mono its methods some of the aldermen who are waiting their turn will never "next."—-Curtis Brown in Wash. Post. AMERICAN NEWSPAPERS. Just Two Hundred Years Since the Pi oneer Sheet Was Printed. 111 addilion to other distinctions the year 1004 marks the o<mpletion of two centuries since the lirsj American news paper was started. That paper was "The Boston News letter," whose pub lisher and editor was the postmaster of that town. Although "The News U't ter" consisted of a sheet of only seven inches by 10'/$,, printed on both sides, it was the only paper that F.ngland's colo nies in the New World had for a decade and a half. Philadelphia got the second paper established in America, and New Vork got the third. All these were tecli niehally weeklies, but often in the early days there were intervals of two or three weeks between their successive appear ances. The first daily in the New World was"The American Daily Advertiser," printed in Philadelphia. After nearly a century had elapsed since the first news-, paper appeared 011 this continent—<nr in IKiM)—there were only 15 dailies and 190 weeklies in the United States. the contrast bet ween those days and today is striking. There are 2-1,000 new s papers and periodicals of all sorts — , weeklii -, semi-weeklies. tri-w ceklies. monthlies and quarterlies published in the Unit. I Stales in 1004. of which about 2400 are dailies and 10,000 week lies. Any one of two 1 r three of New York's daily papers of 1004 has a larger circulation than did all the daily and weekly papc published in the United Slates in 1804. It pays to advertise in this paper! A Hacking Cough Irritates the tlu-oat and racks the lnncrn. A ren»edy that will instantly rdi< ve ami quickly euro ('<i.l is, < folds, Whooping Couf.'h, Br. iiiclu li- an.l 'iln-oui ami l.ang I roubles -vn rally is invaluab? c iray's ftalvou t ao-oiutely r.ur ant.-c.l t<- euro these diseases. I'-ed for years i inF' ll ."ueHospi'al,Now York.iti ::horoutrhly I relWili will net dry npaeony' , ami i a ;a?>. | : cbiUire ine. Price Stanley K. Picrson, ließoy, N. Y. BASEBALL UMPIRES. Sometimes Take Big Chances in Stirring the Tassions of the Onlookers. Umpiring u baseball game is a very different matter from refereeing a foot ball match. Either official is usually an ex-player; but while the decisions of the college players are received by the. spec tators and participants with gentle sub mission and very seldom any "emon stronce, those of a professional umpire often cause a riot. Indeed, thj vocation embraces more momentary power, but less appreciation than any other. As for glory, one must only sec an umpire sneak out the back gate with his shoulders flumped up and his bat pulled down un der the pursuit of jeers and missiles to wonder why any mail has the endurance, humility, and courage to accept the in consequential salary iu exchange for such physical and mental hardship. On the field be is regarded as a neces sary evil, and such is the intense spirit associated with the national game tnat if the home team appears to have been un fairly treated spectators develop a wrath akin to madness. The players, on the other hand, have hardly any more control of their feelings; and, it being impossi ble to vent, one's anger on a neighbor, the whole deluge of profanity and violence breaks upon the poor man who has un happily undertaken to please, by rule and regulation, everybody. Understand, among the players, the umpire is a czar. His authority is established and backed up by the league. When a player, there fore, comes up with threatening fists or ominous bat, or with a saucy tongue, he pays for the luxury of his outburst by a fine or a couple of weeks suspension. Sometimes he may forget himself so far as to strike the umpire anil then there is a pretty fracas. If. like Tim Hurst, the official is a "scrapper" him self. and "afraid of 110 ball player that ever lived." a mix-up follows, with all the worst of it, for the player. It is an other proposition when 5,000 "rooters," invading the fielu, with bats, pistols anil with open knives, and with cries of "Lynch him!" "Kill him!" seem in a good way to carry out their threats. This is what happened to Hurst, who con fesses that when the crowd got after him in sf. 1. nis several years ago, he 'earned for the first time what it was to be sea red. "When I made the decision in the sixth inning," he says,"l saw that the mob was so hot that if they ever broke the police could not hold 'em; so I made up my mind to keep in a sprinting position, with my eye 011 the clubhouse door. It came to the ninth inning, with the home team in need of two runs to win. Some feller came to bat and drove a terrific grounder that struck about two inches outside of third base. It was foul as foul could be, but I knew the crowd would never stand for it. I yelled, "Foul!" and waited a second. Then the bleachers and grand stand let out a yell and began coming for me. Talk about San Juan Hill! Some of the players tried to save me. but they were swept away. I took mine as fast as I could to the clubhouse, with 20,000 of them yell ing. 'Lynch him!' 1 had got within ten feet of the door and was saying to my self if 1 got inside I could defend myself with a bat, when the big nigger, clack as your hat, suddenly crawled from under the stand and came at me. The knife he carried looked about three feet long. He meant business. You could see it in his eve. I thought it was all up with me, for I was too fagged to put up a. fight, when a couple of players rushed out and grabbed the coon. I hurried to the street, jumped into a. cab and never looked around until 1 got across the Eails bridge." OUR PRESIDENTS. Majority Clean Shaven —Roosevelt Sec ond to Wear Mustache. When Roosevelt is inaugurated, 011 March 4. 1905, lie w ill be the second Pres ident with a mustache. Cleveland was the first. Whatever the Presidency of this coun try has done for the incumbents, it has not been productive of beards. The first four Chief Executives were 11s clean shaven as Benedictine friars. .T. (). Adams was the first to break the rule, but be was not a full-bearded President. WE CAN SELL YOU THE . "J ■. i SHOLES 'l% : VISIBLE TYPEWRITER at so very low a price for a short time only that our offer will surprise you. Full particulars on request. Remember our offer is LIMITED Write to-day . A. D. rieiselbacn I ypewriter Co., Manufacturers, KENOSHA. WISCONSIN His lai ial growth oi hair hardly .-aiiie up to what aro ususally termed side-whis kci-, but tliey were a trilie more expan sive than the Scotch l'ic-i ytei ian type. \\ lieu lie retired the beardle.-s Presi dent came in a«ain with .lack-on, liut his successor, Van Huren, brought to (he White House almost an oxaet pattern of the whiskers grown by J. Q. Ada ins. William Henry Harrison again -et the hcirdless face. The seven who came af ter him were clean-shaven. When .Mr. Lincoln was elected there was not a hair on his face but before he finished his term he wore a sparse beard, with clean-shaven upper lip. One of the authenticated stories is that he did this to please a child. • irant was the first President with a full short beard. His immediate suc cessor, Hayes was the first to wear full long whiskers, covering his shirt front. (Jarfield also wore a full heard, but it was less luxuriant than that of Hayes. Arthur, who was the most correct dresser of all the Presidents, was the first in the list to grow the Purnside type of whiskers. Benjamin Harrison's beard was full, with a slight tendency to curl at the end, and was tinged with gray. After Cleveland the clean-shaven face returned with McKinley. The mustache came in for the second time when Ttoose velt succeeded. Most of the Presidents were l>ounti fully supplied with hair on top of their heads. The two Adamses were the first to show a slight tendency to baldness. Van Puren was bald on the forehead. Garfield" was similarly marked. I'olk was the first and only President who wore his hair in the ante-bellum Southern style.' It was lon<r. and reached back from the front, over his ears. Pu enanan was the first and only one so far, to wear the top roacn. Cleveland in returning to his second Administration showed a tendency to baldnc-s. McKinley was not noticeably blessed with a heavy growth. liut no baldheaded man, a- the term is understood, has yet been President of the I'nited States. Send this paper to yeur ien<! for i hristmas. GET THE BE* I JPI j, r | The New and Enlargaii 1 Edition Contains 3 25,000 New Word^jj | New Gazetteer of the Worir 3 jji with more than 25,000 titles, based out... II 9 latest census returns. S I New Biographical Dictions J | containing the names of over 10,(K!C tv " 1 I J pui-sous, date of birth, death, etc. j I Edited by W. T. HAKIMS, rh.T>., LL. P I 1 I nitotiStuteaCumuiiaiiionerof Educa* iCi. 2380 Quarto Pages | New riatci. 6000 Illustrations. Rich Blni' ■' in Every Ho rr> _ a jj A!s > Webster's Collegiate Dictionary with I xito Pages. 1400 Illustrations. Size:7xio.\- . £ j A Special Thin Paper Edition De L. 2 {! if iapr:nt# il fruuithoßame ILH :t ■ J ha* liiiijM'tivfi-snnd round comer*. .3 jj FREE, 4t A Test in Pronunciation," Ati - 3 g tive and entertaining-. 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Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers