2 CAMERON CODNTY PRESS. H. H. MULLIN, Editor. Published Every Thursday. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. ftr J«»r. •» 22 V |til In adTanoa I M ADVERTISING RATES A4»«r»'semen ts are published at the rate 01 dollar err square fur one insertion ami Cfij Man per square for eacn subsequent Insertion Rate# by th« year, or for six or itti ee months •re lon arid uniform, and will be furnished on ••plication. Xe«nl and Official Advertising per square, Ifcree lime* or leas, *2 each subsequent insar (ten : 0 rents per bquare. Local notices lu cent* per line for one lnser (•rtlon: 6 cents per lina for each subsequent Mp«ecuttve Insertion. Obituary notices oyer flye ltnea, 10 cents pel Use. Simple announcements of births, mar riages and deaths will lie Inserted free. Buflnasr. cards. Ore llnea or leas. »S per year, •Ter five lines, at tha refular rates of adver ilaißK No local Inserted for leaa than 79 cents pat laaua JOB PRINTING The Job department of the PRSSS la complete aa< 'iflurd'. facilities for doing the best class ot Work. I'AHTICULAIt ATTENTION PAIDTu Ll» PaiNTINO. No paper will be discontinued ntll arrear- Kos aro paid, except at the option of the pub her. Papers sent out of tha county must be paid (ci in advance. U|_jl__ __ I I ISS All the Australian colonies will join the federation the official name of which is to be the Commonwealth of Australia. This new union embraces more territory than that of the 13 American colonies and a population of 4,000,000. Gen. Funston's sword of honor has been ordered by the citizens of Kan sas. It will bear an engraved list of the battles he has won, the rivers he has crossed and the hills he has climbed. In short, it will be a first-class geog raphy of our Philippine possessions. With nearly 100,000 post offices in the United States there must necessarily be some odd names, but one is surprised to find in the list an office called Potato, in Virginia, and on the preceding page, one in Minnesota called I'omme de Terre, French for the same vegetable. Out of the 1,200 who belong to the Twentieth Kansas, the . famous regi ment which followed the daring lead of Gen. Funston, but 18 are of foreign birth, and more than half of the regi ment are sons of Kansas farmers. It is a typical regiment of American volun teers. The Ferris wheel of the Chicago world's fair is to be outdone at the Paris exposition. IJ. E. Sherman, a Yankee genius, will build a gigantic umbrella 350 feet high. To the end of each rib of the umbrella will be at tached a car, which will convey the sight-seers up and down. A wise plan is to be adopted for the purpose of keeping paupers out of the Klondike, so that there will be no repe tition of the suffering and starvation of poorly supplied miners. Newcom ers will have to have S7OO in cash, or six months provisions and S2OO in cash, be fore they are permitted to enter Daw son. Dr. Felix Brunet, a surgeon of the French navy, has perfected a means of removing tattoo marks. Many who bear these marks grow tired of them, and, with advancing years, desire their re moval, but, heretofore, they have found it expensive and difficult tc do so, and 111 some cases ordinary methods fail al together. At Aberystwyth, Wales, a wedding was solemnized lately in which all the parties concerned bore the name of Jones. The bridegroom was Richard Jones, and the bride was Elizabeth Jane Jones. The witnesses were John Rob ert Jones and Anne Jones. The min ister was Rev. R. E. Jones and the regis trar Rev. William Jones. Something new in the way of munici pal government is the report of the American administration of the city of Cienfuegos, Cuba, showing a surplus revenue of $12,000 for the month of June. This is the first time in the his tory of Cuba that any city has shown a surplus. Spanish rule abhorred a surplus as nature does a vacuum. Nicholas Lebrun, the composer of the Lincoln dead march, written on-aweek's notice for the funeral of the great war president, was borne to his grave in St. Louis recently to the strains of that solemn"requiem. The playing of the dead march at President Lincoln's funeral in Springfield, 111., by a band of 100 pieces, in which a chorus of 1,000 voices took up a chant at inter vals, was personally directed by Lebrun, who was then in the prime of life. He was over SO years of age at the time of his death. According to a tabulated statement just issued by the treasury department the exports of manufactures from the United States have increased 110 per cent, in the past ten years. This is far ahead of the gain made in any other country. Germany shews an increase of 13 per cent, in that time, France of 10 per cent., Switzerland of 6 per cent, and the Netherlands of 3 per cent. Eng land in the ten years has made no gain in exports of manufactures. The Unit ed States is gaining a strong foothold in the markets of the leading nations of the old world. Canada may keep her Klondike! We do not want it, if the reports now com ing from Alaska concerning the rich gold fields in tlie Cape Nome district are even approximately correct. And the best of it is that Cape Nome is so re mote from the Canadian line that even the most enterprising land claimer can find no possible ground for disputing Uncle Sam's title. Of course the stories of almost fabulous wealth are subject to some discount, hut even if they are 25 per cent, correct jt is evident that a w r onderful new source of wealth has been opened un. EVASIONS BY BR* AN. The Main Iwuues Art- Cnvt-rfd I'll wllli Meiinlnirloo <«en -4* rn 111 !«•». War democrats and silver republic ans who expected to tiud satisfactory reference to the Philippines in Mr. Bryan's speech at the Auditorium were sorely disappointed. Mr. Bryan, know ingl that some of his most enthusiastic followers in IMiC expected him to say whether he would withdraw the Amer ican army from the Philippines, wheth er he would haui down the Hap before good order was established, and sur render all that the American navy and American army had fought for, said nothing. Afraid to commit the parfy to the pol icy of surrender, he evaded the main issue in meaningless generalities. Had he been a man of courage, like Henry Watterson or Senator Morgan, and hun dreds of other prominent democrats, he would have said, however men may dif fer as to the final disposition of the Phil ippine islands, the government must be supported in its efforts to put down re bellion. But he did not say it. Instead he declared that the Filipinos should be independent. He repeated the argu ments of Hoar, Atkinson and other anti imperialists. He said that if the doc trine set forth in the declaration of in dependence is sound we cannot hold the Philippines; that if the doctrine of the declaration of independence is sound we cannot rightfully purchase 8,000,000 people at two dollars apiece from an alien monarch, and he represented that the main argument of those in favor of an nexation was that if we were to give these people their independence other nations of Europe would laugh at us. If these utterances represent the spir it and conviction of the democratic par ty, then it never can make another na tional campaign. They are so paltry, so evasive, so cowardly, that 110 demo crat or silver republican who sympa thized with the purpose of the govern ment in the war with Spain can train with the party, if Mr. Bryan cares to put the acquisition of the Philippines in the light of a bargain in which the government paid two dollars a head for 8,000,000 people, what will he say of Thomas Jefferson, who, as president, paid more than two doMars ahead for the people of Louisiana and Florida? Jefferson purchased outright these ter ritories from an alien monarch, and they are now a standing illustration of the logic of the expansion policy. James K. Polk, another democrat, au thorized the purchase of Mexican terri tory that came to us through conquest, and on Mr. Bryan's theory of annexa tion paid more than two dollars a head for the inhabitants thereof. But Air. Bryan's utterances on this question must be so irritating to patriotic Amer icans as to carry the antidote for their own poison. The questions that Mr. Bryan must answer are: Would you haul down the tlag in the Philippines? Would you sur render the islands to the Tagals now in rebellion, representing not one-twen tieth of the population? Would* you withdraw the army and navy from the islands and waters of the archipelago? Would you surrender the islands to an archy or to some Kufopean govern ment? Would you sacrifice American interests to forward the interests of some European power? Do you ap prove or not the proposition submitted by the president to the Filipinos through the peace commissioners? Bo you regard that proposition as a resort to European methods or the inaugura tion of American methods, to be dis cussed on its merits? Are you in favor of a general policy of surrender of the territory conquered from Spain ? Would you retire from J'orto Rico? Would you annul the Hawaiian annexation act? WOll Id you maintain military govern ment in Cuba, or would you leave the island to the war of the factions? The people are asking these questions of Mr. Bryan, and if he is to be t lie nom inee of the democratic party he must answer them. Democrats are asking these questions, and if Mr. Bryan docs not answer them lie will not be the nom inee of the party. It has been demon strated time and time again that the American people have no use for acow ard. Certainly the silver republicans of the west who favor the administration policy in the Philippines, and who did their full part in sustaining the govern ment in the war with Spain, cannot longer support a man who juggles with words to conceal his sympathy with the copperheads of the day. This is not a time for spectacular dust throwing. The people are asking men —those who aspire to leadership, as well as those in the ranks—to show their colors. Mr. Bryan, it would seem, has no colors to show. He would have the democratic party repeat in 1000 the great blunders of 1804.—Chicago Inter Ocean. PRESS OPINIONS. E7The meeting of democrats at Chi cago was a complete failure for every body but liryan.—N. V.Tribune. £7 Alt geld says the racik and file are with him. It has been known all along that the rank were.—Albany Argus (Dem.). CA Missouri democratic leader makes the public statement that "dem ocrats have a right to think." There are some rights and privileges that be come obsolete from nonuse.— l'urling ton Hawkeye. PMr. Bryan in his speech at Chicago made the money question its leading feature. The superficial character of the arguments flvanecd are the most striking feature* of the deliverance. — Pittsburgh Commercial (ia/.etie. CTThe. conflict of interest and an tagonism of sentiment which prevails among the democracy upon some of tlie. questions of the day indicate that the people who have things to worry them these days are not all in Was.li- : ::gton or in the Philippines.—Minneap olis Journal. CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, AUGUST 10, 1899. IMPERIALISM DEFINED. Vlewi of nil Olil Dt'iiiocrat Who Ile lieven In ICxtemlinsr Anier- Ican The Courier-Journal did say that the idiosyncrasy of the last century wan liberty and that the idiosyncrasy of the coining century will be markets. But, surely, in this it did not imply that freedom is to he sacrificed to com merce. It meant simply that the hut tie for constitutional government among people called civilized lias been fought and won; tiiat feudalism dead and mankind measurably self-govern ing, liberty, in the sense that Mira beau conceived it arid Washington fought for it, is not, uppermost in the world's mind, but that overcrowded populations and labor-saving machin ery have revolutionized human condi tions, producing necessities that seek their satisfaction in the undeveloped regions of Asia and Africa and the islands of the Pacific ocean. In this connection we undertook to show how, with a short cut to the Paciiic, the cot ton states of the south occupy a geo graphic position of great advantage, and, seeking to have them profit by this, and that as speedily and as fully as possible, we ventured to deprecate the unconsidered outcry against the policy of national expansion, wHich, as far as it relates to the I'aeific, is but another name for the development of the south. The Times-Democrat calls this the "imperial idea" and rays that we are in love with it. If it be the idea that led tieorge liogcrs Clark across the forest and the prairie to find a new home for liberty in the empire of Kas kaskia; if it lie the idea that led Hous ton to raise the standard of freedom and to erect a dwelling for free men in Texas; if it be the idea that led Pike and Lewis and Clark and Fremont over the Itocky mountains to enlarge the boundaries of civilization in what was then but is 110 longer the far west; nay, if it be the idea that led Jefferson, with out any authority of law, to put his hand in the treasury, to abstract there from $15,000,000 of the people's hard earned money, and to give this to the tyrant Bonaparte for the Louisiana territory, French, Spaniards, Creoles, niggers, and what not, without saying "by your leave" or "blast your eyes" or any other politeness—nor yet forget ting Jackson's performances in Florida —liien we are afraid that we must ad mit our esteemed contemporary's dire impeachment. Ecce signum! Except for this later circumstance we had wanted our esteemed contemporary's company around the ample board of American journalism; and for that, at least, let us be thankful and honor the memory of Jefferson! But the Times-Democrat says that all this is republicanism. It thinks that because we follow in the footsteps of Jefferson we are headed hell bent, or words to that effect, for the republican party. Alas! these five and twenty years the Courier-Journal has so ofter had to meet, this accusation in its ef forts to tell the people of the south the plain, sober, oft-unpalatable truth that we are used to it and do not much mind it. In the meantime, we would have the democratic party—which, not withstanding our esteemed contem porary's ungracious sally, is still the party of our hope—capture the policy of expansion, and, having recovered possession of the government, it could then regulate the future of the coun try at home and abroad upon Jeffer sonian lines. In casting itself across the highway of that country's and the world's progress it will, we fear, throw away the substance of all power for good merely to grasp at the shadow of a barren ideality.—Louisville Courier- Journal (Dem ). THE TREASURY OUTLOOK. Gratif> i»K Condition of the National Fin a nee* llcorenul iik Deficit. When Secretary Gage submitted his annual report last December he esti mated that the treasury deficit for the present fiscal year would amount to $112,000,000, and that the deficit for the following year would be about $30,000,- 000. With but a month more of the fiscal year to run it is apparent that tlie secretary was altogether too pessi mistic. The deficit at present is sio4,- 000,000 in round numbers, and as June is quite certain to yield a surplus, it is quite probable that when the treasury officials come to strike a balance for the completed year they will find that the deficit will not go above the $100,000,000 mark. This condition of the finances is de cidedly gratifying, but even more sat isfactory is the prospect for the next fiscal year. It is now predicted by the most capable statisticians that instead of a deficit of $30,000,000 no delieit at all win be shown. While the fact that the government has been running be hind in its financial operations does not seem to have disturbed business, yet the country will breathe more easily when an actual surplus can be shown. There wai a time when such a surplus was regarded as a menace to prosperity, but. we have learned a good deal since 18U3, and there would probably tie little (•rumbling if the treasury receipts were to exceed the expenditures even by sev eral millions,—Troy Times. K? \ lie general prosperity of the country finds many illustrations, and none more significant to the casual ob server than the vast increase in postal business. Official figures just made public show t hat during the fiscal year ended June 30, 1899, Ihe amount paid for postage was about $90,000,000. which is $8,000,000 more than in ISOs. There has been a gain of more than 20 per cent, since 1S!)0. That smashing of ths cheap money and free riot combina tion was a great thing for business and for the government revenues. —Troy Times. I'A RTYOF TH E PEOPLE Republicans Stand for National Hon esty and True Patriotism. gpeeeli of K. I'iekett. T«'i.i|»oritry CliHlrmnn ol' the lona Sliilv Con vention— ItlcKMintl'M <»f Hepti Il licit ■■ AtliniitlK trn t lon. In the lowa republican state conven tion at lies Moines, Tuesday. August Mr. I'. ('. I'iekett. temporary chairman, spoke in part as follows: "The history of the republican party stands for the heroic in American pol ities. Its character lines tire boldly tie fined. It received its first lessons from the supreme and patriotic statesmanship of Abraham Lincoln. Horn ot the people, it has ever been proud of its parentage, and courageous In defending its: birthright, it has never seized with nerveless grasp the important problems confronting it. It dis cerned the growing needs of the people, an ticipated further developments, compre hended the boundless possibilities of our great republic; and with a high resolve, an honest conviction, and a fearless leader ship, unfurled the banner of national progress in its broadest and truest sense. Ji has been true to thi instincts of our history. In Its party organism are found those vehement, virile and forceful traits that have made our people the greatest character-people in civilised history. "It is true of nations as of individuals, that the strongest types are produced by opposition. Courage, struggle, victory, are written on every page of our history; they have developed the lit tIV bar.d in the Mayflower into a mighty and powerful re public. At every step in our onward march, we have met with opposition: but from each and every contest, whether with nature, savages, despotism, internal dissensions or foreign foe, have arisen grander, stronger than before. "We have never shirked responsibility, nor evaded the mandates of duty. We have ricvt r repudiated the guiding spirit of fa God-ordaint-d destiny. V\ i- have never paused to question whence, but have simply a.'kiil whither. The Divine Donor seems to have encircled our self-reliant, liberty-loving and progressive people with all the generous bounties of hospitable na ture, and with prophetic command, bid us grow. 'Thus far and no farther,' is not found in our national lexicon. "The republican party at its birth in herited these facts. it has stood in the past, and stands to-day. for the broader, higher and grander destiny of our choesn people. "When the false prophets of free silver were inoculating the public mind with the dishonest heresy of something for noth ing, and nothing for something; when pa thetic appeals were being made to the un fortunates of the country, when grand and petit larceners were being tempted with legalized immunity: when the ac cumulated wisdom of centuries of statesmanship and economic s< ienee were about to be cast aside; when business panic, repudiation and discredit were knocking at the door of power for ad mission, when political leaders were sniff ing the direction of the popular air, the republican party, fearlessly and patriot ically, stepped forth into the public arena, stamped upon the hydraheaded monster of national dishonesty, put to rout the hosts of repudiators, unlanced the would be knight-errants of finance, and declared before God and man that honesty must prevail in the legislation of our nation. "The alleged evils of our financial sys tem were imaginary, rather than real. When given an opportunity to act, as It will be given in next session of con gress, Jhe republican party will enact such legislation as may be necessary to conform our present system to its declared principles, but its legislation will be reme dial, not revolutionary, constructive, not destructive, corrective, not disturbing. "How different are the conditions to-day compared with those of three years ago. The contrast would be belittled by argument. The citation of facts would distract from the universal object les son before us. Progress was draped in mourning. Prosperity wore the shroud of death. The nation stood, as it were, en a veritable "Bridge of Sighs," gazing with darkened brow upon the waves, as they dashed against the lea shore of the na tion's hope. Hut the ark of republicanism appeared in the horizon; it was borne on the heavy billows of popular sentiment, until securely anchored in the harbor of a triumphant election; when forth from it stepped before the joyful hearts and happy faces of a reassured people the be nign, the patriotic, the heroic mold of Wil liam McKinley. "Destiny seems to have set its seal on the administration of William McKinley. It was foreordained by Providence. We have simply obeyed the decrees of fate. \\ c cat) not retrace our steps nor erase the past if we would, and would not if we could. "The fortunesof war abound In surprises. Chance sometimes dictates the course of progress. This time ti has opened to our country the boundless opportunities of the orient, and created an outpost of civ ilization that will in time emancipate the east from the bondage of barbarism and stagnation. "Civilisation must triumph in every land >nd under every sky. The spirit of ex pansion, the desire for enlarged national growth, the reaching out for greater op portunities, has been the great boulevard of progress down which haye passed lib erty, Christianity and all the higher bless ings of civi'.ization. "Hut the opponents of so-called expan sion say that we are departing from the po sition and tenets of our forefathers. 1 answer: No. We are simply rising to the new conditions that surround us. The telegraph, the railroad, the countless in ventions of the present—long ago made the departure. "Hut we hear it claimed that the ac quisition of the Philippines under the treaty of Paris is The right to acquire territory is not dependent upon the constitution. The nation, irre spective of its form of government or in ternal laws, is endowed with the attributes of sovereignty. "When the insurrection now beiiTg waged In the Philippines is put down—as it surely must be—the Filipinos will be given s.'ch form of government as their intelligence and condition will justify, and such as a great and free people deem Just and prop er. The right of consent is always de pendent on the power or ability to consent. So tlrmly is this principle establishi 1 that its simple statement is its own conclu sive argument. "It is claimed, or at least argued by a few, that we are drifting towards imperial ism. The only imperialism possible is the imperialism of commerce. Ant! that Is sure to come. We already occupy the vantage ground. We will r.ot surrender it now. It cime to us through the for tunes of war—it will remain with us for the ust s of pea'ce. "Gentlemen of the convention, repre sentatives of the republican party of the slate of lows, to your consideration I commend the great issues of cur greater future. Thi- republican party has never failed in fearless leadership and cour ageous statesmanship. It will not fail now. "I congratulate you upon the universal prosperity abroad in the land, upon the numberless' blessings of a republican ad ministration, upon the obliteration of Ma son and Dixon's line from the map of our country, upon the added luster to Amer ican arms both on land antl sea, upon tin new heroes enrolled in fadeless glory on the pages or our heroic annals, upon our ra wly-acquired possessions, that will stand ike sentries guarding and promulgating the principles of liberty and a Christian civilization, upon the near realization of our long-cherished hop< s of commercial supremacy that will unfurl the flag of our republic before the eyes of people still en thralled, upon the disappearance before from the western hemisphere of Spanish cruelty and oppression, upon giving to the nation and to all time, that splendid type of American character, William McKinley. "Standing as we art at the close of the nineteenth century—the grandest by far in all the annals of timi—replete with glorious achievements pf the cause of hu manity. liberty and progress, pregnant with yet nobler ar.d higher possibilities in th future, let us press forward, ever looking to destiny's guiding star, obedient to God's purpose, and with hearts earnest, hopes strengthened and courage fortified, wel come the dawn of the twentieth century." BRYAN'S DILEMMA. Mun> Worker** lleeomliiK Convince,l of Hie llrncfitM of n Pro tective TurtifT. Fifty thousand men, who were on strike the other day at tinplate works scattered through all the great states between Boston and St. Louis, are to day receiving higher wages than they ever received before, and higher than have ever been paid in the tinplate manufacture anywhere else. Most of them are men of more than ordinary intelligence, antl are likely to have con siderable influence where they live. They are certain to be assured that the payment of such wages would not be possible had not the many tinplate concerns been united by the formation of one great company, and in view of the intense competition which did pre vail in that business last October antl earlier, resulting in some reduction of wages and the closing of sotue works, tliey are likely to believe it. When Mr. Bryan comes before them antl de mands the destruction of all these "trusts" as enemies of the people, and cruel monopolies, the 50,000 tinplate workers will consider among them selves whether the}' would prefer no combinations and lower wages. They will he likely to present the question in that form to other workingmen wherever they live, and Mr. Bryan's de nunciation may have a Mnd of influence which he does not expect or desire. Hut this is only a sample. There are over a hundred of these large corpora tions recently formed, which employ a great number of men. Though not one of them —not even the tinplate concern itself—has a complete monopoly, they all have so far checked competition be twen different works, and cut off ex penses of management and distribu tion, that they are able to pay higher wages than were paid a year ago. Hut the wages of several hundred thousand men, not in these industries only, were raised within a few weeks last spring, and similar changes have been made at all sorts of works throughout the year. They have not been confined to works controlled by new corporations, but it will be easily claimed that the restriction of competition among those which have been united has materially affected the market for others also, and to some extend influenced the wages they are able to pay. Jt is also the plain truth that, this tremendous change in the condition of industries and in the wages of labor has not been due to new corporations, either wholly or in the main, but was in progress be fore they were formed, and would have gone far if they had never been formed. The question for Mr. Hryan, however, is whether he can charge pros perity to the tariff or to"the trusts." It is becoming clear that a great many of the workers, who have not beei ducated to comprehend the bene ficent work of the 'protective tariff, will be inclined to give credit largely to tin consolidations which appear on the surface of things most useful to the men they employ. While a vast number of republicans, who know what came to pass under Cleveland and a Wilson tariff and what followed undei McKinley and a Dingley tariff, will un derstand that the prosperity of all in dustries has been restored, and not of those only in which consolidations have been effected, the other multitudes with which Mr. Hryan has to deal have been educated in democratic notions about the tariff. It will be easier for many of them to refuse credit for wonderful prosperity to a republican tariff, and to conclude that the curbing of competi tion by industrial organizations has been to them a source of direct and im portant gain. The trouble for Mr. Hryan and for all democratic demagogues in the cam paign they are planning for next yeai is that they will have to deal with great corporations which have been advanc ing the wages of many thousand tit m ocratie workingmen. If they go up and down in the land declaring t'.iat the corporations have been robbing the public a great many people will have doubts about that, because they find in their own experience that wages have been advanced. If others pay a little more for this or that article, there it always the question how far the higher cost of materials made that necessary, and the argument on thai point is too complicated for ready popular appre ciation. but the thing which every man can understand is that his wages have been raised. Since Mr. Hryan will not admit 1 hat any credit is due to the tariff on tha< score, what luck is he likely to have in denouncing tile indus trial corporations?- —\ . Tribune. ID?"The meeting of the democrat:: national committee at Chicago and the various side shows connected with it indicate pretty conclusively that Mr. Hryan-is to be the next nomine* of his party for president, and also that w hen the time comes for making it platform he can make il to sidt himself.— N. Y. Post (Dent.). CA curious ft licity of pleasure is given to Col. Hryan. A few weeks :ig't In was taken to the Dismal Swamp. 'I lien he compared himself with the Mammoth cave. Young Carter Har i ison took him on an excursion along tin- big Chicago drainage ditch. No thing is too good for the colonel. — N I Y. Sun. |"Actions of the'just \ Smell Sweet."\ ! | I The fragrance of life is vigor and I i strength, neither of 'which can be found | | in a person whose blood is impure, and § I tvhose every breath speaks of internal j > troubles. Hood's Sarsaparilla. purifies i I the blood and makes the tveak strong. I | _ i | Moods Sd \Mi{m utlci | A "HOT" COLD BANQUET^ Some Inside Information by n Walter from the Bowery Who Helped Serve It. One of the waiters at a popular local res taurant is a bird of passage from the Bow ery and was a member of tiie small army that served the famous "Dollar Dinner" in New York last April. A good many stories have been told of that memorable event, but none of them surpass his own in point of pieturesqueness and inside detail. "It was the funniest push I was ever in in me life," he says, confidentially. "The kitchen was so small they had to cook everything on the outside, and when it got there it was dead cold. The second course was haddock, and each fish come served in a linen bag, so we could put 'em in tubs of hot water and warm 'em up—see? Well, some of the boys got rattled and served 'em bags and all, with egg sauce over th' outside. Say, you'd of died laughing seeing them fellers tryin' to carve their fish. 'This is the tough est auld haddock I iver tackled in me life,' says one Tammany man at the head table; 'it's got a skin like a rhinoceris,' says he. In the kitchen there was a riot all night long. It was so small the waiters couldn't reach the dishers-up and they got to scrap ping for front places in the line. One man was knocked stiff with a turkey, and when they picked him up I thought he was dead. I did, on the level. But it wasn't blood. It was only cranberry sauce. Another flunkey fell into the salad and one of the cooks put a can of ice cream in the oven, thinking it was brown gravy for the beef. That's on the square—just as I'm tellin' you! But the worst of all was when we came to the wine. It was 'Merican champagne in half pints, without ice, and of all the kicking and hol lering! One fresh gent told me it was the only thing he had had that night that was good and warm, and he had hardly said it when, a waiter that was a little jagged ac cidentally poured about a quart of boilfti' coffee down the bask of his neck. Say, you ought of heard him cuss! Between you and me, a good many waiters got to hitting the wine, and they found one of 'em with 15 empty bottles in. his pants leg. That's hon est. I saw it myself. It was the hottest ban quet I was ever at."—N. O. Times-Demo crat. Tl>« Untile Field Route, The Veterans of sixty-one and five and their friends, who are going to attend the 33rd G. A. R. Annual Encampment at Phila delphia in September, could not select a bet ter nor more historic route than the Hie Four, Chesapeake & Ohio, with splendid service from Chicago, Peoria and St. Louis on the Big Four, all connecting at Indian apolis or Cincinnati and thence over the Picturesque Chesapeake & Ohio along the Ohio river to Huntington, West Va., thence through the foot-hills of the Alleghanies, over the Mountains, through the famous Springs Region of Virginia to Staunton, \ a., between which point and Washington are many of the most prominent Battle fields: Waynesboro, Gordonsville, Cedar Mountain, Rappahannock, Kettle Bun, Ma nassas, Hull Run, Fairfax, and a score of others nearly as prominent. Washington is next, and thence via the Pennsylvania Line direct to Philadelphia. There will be three rates in effect for this business: Ist. Contin uous passage, with no stop-over privilege; 2nd. Going and coming same route with one stopover in each direction; 3d. Circuitous route, going one way and back another with one stop-over in each direction. For full information as to Routes, Kates, etc., ad dress J. C. Tucker, G. N. A., 234 Clark St., Chicago. The reason why a young pig eats so much is because be wants to be a hog.—Princeton Tiger. Locating: the Trouble. "Dear me, the circus isn't what it used to be." "Now, John, stop; the circus is all right; it is you that has changed. You know you couldn't climb a pole, turn a double somer sault or skin the cat to save your life."—De troit Free Press. Jobson —"Lightning never strikes twice in the same place." Bildad —"How do you know?" Jobson—"l'm a lightning calcu lator."—Town Topic. The cheaper the man the tougher the story he will tell or believe.—Atchison Globe. An Excellent Combination. The pleasant method and beneficial effects of the well known remedy, SYIIUP OP FIGS, manufactured by the CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP Co., illustrate the value of obtaining- the liquid laxa tive principles of plants known to be medicinally laxative and presenting them in the form most refreshing-to the taste and acceptable to the system. It is the one perfect strengthening- laxa tive, cleansing- the system effectually, dispelling- colds, headaches and fevers gently yet promptly and enabling- one to overcome habitual constipation per manently. Its perfect freedom from every objectionable quality and sub stance, and its acting- on the kidneys, liver and bowels, without weakening or irritating them, make it the ideal laxative. In the process of manufacturing- figs are used, as they are pleasant to the taste, but the medicinal qualities of the remedy are obtained from senna and other aromatic plants, by a method known to the CAI.IFOTJNIA FIG SYRUP CO. only. In order to get its beneficial effects and to avoid imitations, please remember the full name of theCompany printed on the front of every package. CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. SAN FRANCISCO. CAL LOUISVILLE KY. NEW YORK, N. Y. Pur fcale by all Druggists.— Price LOc. per bottle. El In time. y 8o?d by druKKista. B3 ffißSEEßiEiaffignfip
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers