8.1 1 ..13L0A.N, Editor. VOLUME 20, THE MESSAGE. I,lntirittrrt qf Vie Senate tend lloi:sc of Rcpr Crlic (tboro is iny own composition. • Z. WAstmoros, I P. U. S.] MEM intim The inclination of the north polo, over the tft, has brought our ocean-boned republic to illOilifto of zero, end killed off the nuitnolcultc of !nature. The seasons hero followed each other like porpoises in the wake of a mackerel catcher, and Autumn, tho nut-bro en maiden, with her brows bound with golden grain ant red leaves, has had a narrow squeak of it to escppe the to vific chargo of blustering Wintor in his fear-nought, wit t his pock et full of hoer frost, and his nose glittering wi'th icicles.— The harvests have been abundant. The !mart of the iiii.bandrusii rejoices. Plenty cocks up her heels boforo the cottage fire, and Luxury takes something hot from n silver porringer, in a wainscoted-parlor, hung round with Finch mirrors, and floored with Wilton rags. Ceres exalts her horn, bursting with fruits and flowers; and F;nterpriso, in a short shirt, breaks for the back settle ments with a foot shod with lighining, and a face as ?harp as a shingle.- Tho hyperberean bear biceps in his hollow tree, sucking his paws for breakfasf and growling for supper; and the wild geese have gone squawking to the South, in the shape of a harrow, pretty, tolerably cold sod remarkably hungry. The school-boy no longer ploys truant in ,the woods, bunting for pawpaws and chestnuts, and the spotted treo toad sings trcblo no moro to the double bass lof tho frog in the slashes. Pistareens now pass for twenty-iica cents, and_dimes i are received as levys fro the Bay of Fundy to the bar, of Tompiker. Whilo such blessings surround us, and %% bile the prey- Meal, which we never cared a fig for on our own ac comd, but only on occount of those who came after us, hiss subsided, it behooves us as a nation of ; Christians, without regard to party, to return thanks for "mercies re ceived, and. liko the poor !boy isi the work-house, to humbly ask for moro.—[Composed by Perfet Bliss, ;11. D. C.] QM Our fort Ign relations, under the present golden admin istration, aro Cho most favored of any relations wo have. First, there a England, extremely sensitivci, of alkour 'movements, North or South—anxious boyorid measure to regulate our domestic affairs, and manufacture car nu der-clothes and our morality at a price so lOW that it is ridiculous to mention it. With a lovo for dye-stuffs and mosquitoes beyond the love of women. alto has put her highest order (the garter) upon the neck of a hare -back ed, woolly-headed king, and basset him, with a wooden sword, upon a throne of mahogany. to circumscribe the area freedom, and keep the universal l'utiltee notion from paddling Moir own canoes in lake Nicaragua. If he sits there long, he will smnd a chance of etting dijci/ io a almoner that will last him weever; and if the Mis tress of the Ocean wants her lion licked into al lamb, and nicked into the bargain by tho grizzly bear of t h e New World, sho can just send him along to grow a few, by way of iritorludo, in the Bay of Honduras. We never swear; but if John Bull undertakes to ploy r'lliseia in Europe" on this side of the water, ho will fidd a brook fast of moral earthquakes, and a dinner of I . .i r quid thun derbolts, ready dressed and piping hot, as Id Clapp's wife said when sho put him to bed with thol warming pan, and be d—d, to him. r, Then there is Spain, for whom we have manifested a tender interest—fur whom we have called our ewn coun trpnen "vagrants," and blockaded them in our own shores, and, in return, have been kicked out o • Cuba, and received the thanks of the inquisition. Oh! It w we love that aristocratic nation!—the only people on earth that bow to etiquette, and live by domestic plus cr. Every child of that noble land is an hid,slg,ot and if pride, foil .Ipon chestnuts and ptp-kored by olives, i• a national blessing, they bane it by the hogshead. Ms) she live a thousand years; and may her shadow, if she bas any, never be less! When our now minister, finds his way there with his present p,issport, .whicq ho is not likely to do at present, TV 1%1 make you a further com munication. Until then, the land of Sancho be suffered to take her accustomed sleep. Russia and ourselves arc as thick as two nil, arc the nothern powers of the World; and whit the soUllicrn nations tho "knout." weintend riekelty republics belmv us • tho ”lasro." re,ved her adulator at a special audience, ap cip t rocated iho warmest sentiments of friondshi We have sworn upon the altar or nations not other; and if wO cannot do bettor, we shall 9)lort tilno (oh, precious gift!) a Ewing for The black eagle and the bald eaglo will malt n the sheepfold of tho universe, when they go ogether; and wherever they lay, we should tho tuitions that would duo to meddlo with th Tito two nations aro now making great railr• the earth in tho northern, temperato zone trai3ing her iron horse over the Siberian wil are pushing ours along towards tho Pacific se. IVlierethe nil4lCirrion roll•, And hears no tOIIII , I Kaye 1115 own &vide Th , present minit•tration, with the per' r Col. Benton and tho "Heroic Ago," is read) the Intel( into Sleepy creek, or to streak it to tv over this railrOad. It cannot be said hares have no principles, for wo have broad ona atolotes'expenso, and a railroad from Christia CM France, that beautiful republia that gots' In° a grab than all the rest of the world, and 10. Witco days, is a touchy creature upon the tint' bacco. Like tho silver bodkin in tho when held to the eye af Piercy Shelton, a phi ! head will) throw her into convulsions. Ilorl be exiled, her thrones burnt in the Tuil!cries, can bo slaughtered amid a band of fishwo-nie Directory con blot out tho Sabbath; but never er, can a pound of tobacco enter .`La Belief nation," ex cepting through tho Farmers Gene r.d. The French na tion is as changeable as an April day ; but tho French custom-house is but a familiar name for innortality.—• We have lately had to dismiss her minister for insulting ,as about a chew of , tobacco. and a little plate matter about a disputed petticoat, in which somobo y came oil' second-best. May oho chow the cud of reflection to tho oilier end, and send us Anything Lut a domOcrat again for an envoy extraordinary and minister plenipotentiary! King Pepin and ourself—tho Second Washington-i•are said to ho very much alike; and if the former could lejlta mad bull with a blow of his bare hand, we think we could twist a cock's head oIY at a pinch, if it did come from the chicken-coop of Charlemagne. Franco may ho a repub lie,and her President may marry a red-haired princess, and by-and-by slip into his grandfather's bleodrshoes, end straddle over the world like a salamander on stilts: we shall not quarrel with her, so long as she chews Cav endish, and lets our children and her children slido upon %a cellar-door of tho empire together. Austria has again emerged from chaos, and looks about as fierce as a catamount lot Out of a bag. As she can't scratch us for want of a marine form she may thrash the Magyars until she is Hungary, end then satisfy her appetite with a slice of 7'urkey and a draught of tho Pork, Home has had a new pupa for a short time, but ale le gitimate head of her family has returned agairti nod saw, th e din of arms has died away niltora Itornalps and Re• Pocked the wolf, and tilt} eoeked-hat 'stud epagletteu . , . , - ' . , ,".-. .;;.1 ,'1 ', , •-t :..,,„ . ' , ' • . , - ' ' ' , , ', •'C.2' .; 4' ) , . • 1 - .! ' - - - . - ,?,..: • '-':./ , ', fili ~,,.) ~; „ , .., I ..i., ;-: ~..: ... :1 -.. , i, , , •..., ~ , (..-;..... . ~. i,;,, . ,4 ,q .. . ‘:-.„...: .„.„ r 1 . , . ....• . ...li 1,, 1 i‘ • - [ ..,, • • .: , ps - ~... , ~..... 1..., ... .. . ' k ' ‘-• ' ' . '' *' . —• ' ri *' 1 "t;-' , ' ' '''' 'e „„,,- .; ~ ,„, . .. ! • , ~•. , ..., i, ~, • ~ ~-; ~,;., ~ ' . 1 .. :114; :f_ . ) . s : .I ' ,• . 7. 4 '. ' . .. .. . •,:- A . 4V: ..., :: , , r ' • , , , f , , . -. . • , • . • .. T . . , =HE auza 1111 U% eves. We e sho gives I to give the o havo ro- d have re- 'p'ond love. to rob each two her in a podisco. a rumpus a-hunting liko to see Lir eggs.— ,ails round Russia in tls, and wo mission of to run oft rtsmortali- p lat that WO Litter at ilia a creek to liberty at ;sea it all in I l jeet of W- I onastory," of negro kings can her queens a, and her oh: nev- of a marshal of Franco have given way to tho tiara for ever, We trust aho will not declare war against ns, and get the Dutch navy to help her. If she does, farewell Liberty and tho State, Departmeutt and pack up the doc uments. With : Mexico we aro pretty well, agreed. We have let her see how easy we can knock her down and set her up; and we hero no fear of her playing nino-pins, , with iron balls with us any more. Tho, Bey of Timis, who has a sort of orange garden and jackessery. mt the coast Bar bary!, not long since pulled his board at us saucily, and' rendered the situation of our lato consul th ere . Paine -ful iu the extreme; 1)4 we sent a ship of war, and a rum old commodore to anchor under his seraglio, and - a mid- Shipman or two to sing "Hum strettflome" to the dark; eyed ones behind tho jalousoys of the harem; and lot the old bandy.leggefi tyrant sent us a bag of piasters as largo as a coffee sack, and offered us another lion, if we would promiso not to let him starve, as tho ono sent by the brother of tho moon and seven stars—the king of Moroc co—was suffered 'to do in the days of Andrew Jackson; but not caring for anything but horses and neat cattle, we declined the offer, and sent hint our compliments In a Hcap. On the whore, therefore, taking a retrospective view backwards of what we have done by a labor of six teen hours a day in office, and looking at our diplomacy through the little end of a telescope, we think that we are well to do with the rest of the world, and able to take pot luck with the best of them. Tito appointment of Monsieur Heudebert to Lyons, and of a gentleman who Was once in the regular army to Vi nun, is an evidence of our great desire to meet the wants and carry out tho wishes of the American people. !low apropos to send a French cook to Mach the French of Lyons thcir,trado, and to send a man of blood to Ans. pia, Who is now licking the Hungarian blood off of her guilty fingers, and rejoicing that the House of Hapsburg is again permitted, by tho , aid of barbarous Itussin,•to stand erect in the Holy Alliance, like Lucifer amid tho little devils in his crimson dominhinst • The Into administration were blamed for annexing tel.- ritory by conquest. Wo are never to be caught iristieh a scrape. We have; however, sent out a taking man to Central America, who is a fine judge of organic remains, to pick up and claim all the islands that he can find that have been formed by the wash and drift wood of the Mis sissipni. To enable Trim to do this business peaceably and legally, Ito had, boon furnisherl)ek this; department with blank fax., signed by the Executive: 'and to make his service of the same technically /qui, he has been appointed United States constable abroad, with search-warrant powers. Wo think our E-Squiro will do something to enlarge the area of freedom, which tvill hand ,tis down in imperishable green to-glory. Bating a gonoral dissatisfaction on the part °film clerks of this department, and some grumbling among tho con suls ataministers, who drew their Aces by lot out of nn old hat in tho.an to-room of the White House, everything has been peaceful and quiet at home. 'No money will he required for the salaries of ministers abroad this year, as they do not go when appointed until the last moment, and then return by the first steamer. We shall want, however, a largo ruin for outfits mid Anti's, for 110130 of them aro in such ahurrY as to foger to receive them. and about $20.000 . .000 for Contingenqes. In concluding this account of our foreign relations, itlis proper for us to observe that the llortli'Amerielin neai , nimper t published at Philadelphia by IslcMiehati & Harvey-. Is the best paper published in the world. aril rery expensive. [Contros,/ j, .1. M. C., Premier. TH113 4 00 , The Deportment of finance has been managed with consummate skill and activity since the advent of this rqugh mid tumble ago: Opposed to proscription, and ignorant.of the first principles of comtnerco and pecuniary jurisprialence, a goodly quantity of seed, in the shape of the blood of martyrs, has been added to the stock in trade ' of the denifteratic church. This department has had the' credit of being anti-proscriptive, because it did not re move all the old clerks at Washington; but when wo look at the furrow of wrath that it has turned with its sub soil plough throligh the length and breadth of the land, we must Bei- that the chief Of the woolsack, notwithstand ing ho is a Philadelphia lawyer, is as cunning as a coon, and as insinuating as a snake in a milk cellar. But a truce of compliments, and now for business. We recommend the building of fivo hundred pink=stern revenue cutters, to be propelled by horse power, and to carry an ice cutter, four harpoons, and a long Tom each —shower baths may be omitted in the winter season by special desire. These cutters would lino.our coast from the Bay of Fundy to Brazos St. Jago, at short intervals, and during the lay-by days, which would be six out of every seven, would catch fish enough for rations—they being manned by but six man, a horse and a dog each— the business of tho dog being to scent strange vessels as they draw near the coast. No. 1 mackerel and frosit cod, interspersed with eels, halibut, and denuders, will, when. l properly cooked and masticated, fatten oven the rovenue service; and if Congress would only requriro every ship overhauled by them to Pay them a !awing of a jug of whiskey, tho spiritual condition of the revenue marina would be amply provided for; besides, would not the pass ing' vessels be closely watched under such circumstances? We put it to tho consideration of Congress, and await its blither legislation. The sub-treasury/though a humhug,,is far bette'r than any otber humbug that can bo devised for the public re venues, unless it is our breeel es packet, and therefore, we must grin and bear it. Our late assistant Secretary of the Treasury, of Harrisburg memory, who knows all about banks—having voted for the bank of tho United States when a democrat, against( histructions, and con trary' to his pledges—has thougWfmuch upon the subject, and considered thatit would Anwar very well, provided Congress and the officers of t h e general government nem permitted to spoculato a little on private account,. in buying up, ad libitum, State bank bills, payable' in specie, with United States treasury notes, receivable for publfc dues and redeemable in forty.yoars, at the seat of government in paperjdno bills, without interest. This would give them specie at once, and create a live ftinded debt that never could exceed the principal; would help the' community at large by giving them an everlasting paper currency, without interest; and would enable the l i members of Congress and the officers of government, by an !abundance of pocket money, to use more hisuries in their daily walks and . conversations, And thus swell the revenue Wider the tariff of 1846. Specific duties are va ry desirable(but a yard of cloth may cost six-pence, and another yard may Cost six dollars, and how a spcific ditty -et one dollar per yard on each would bo right, we cannot exactly see; but Commissioner Rockwell, who was a great flamer in the days of Nicholas Biddle, and who knows all about it, is confident in the matter, and whin ho is confident, you might as well acquiesce and say no more in the premises. for ho will always have_ the last word, if ho dies for it. Those who wantmiore informa tion must consult Whittlesey on miiturie. or 'Edwards on the Meanie dispoesation; As for coal and Iron, the Into election in Pennsylvania has rendered the protection of those articles of but little consequence tette. Tito propriety of turning the Tree's ury Department into a great insurance office, to insure the lives and property of thaperiplo'of die United Suites, for a consideration, 'payablo'nunnally - inspechi, is worthy the attentitin ofCcMgress: also the 006111660 Y of vitlrli iitg all the 'gold' mineti Of the Union witirthe pauper's of thricaurit6',:upoit the par 'derange collee tfoti llt the revenue in kiiidfatid the ilitabpah'inani Of largo i. SATURDAY '.IORN,VG - , Dr4oolj),,,t*: ,3p,„ '049 ; United States groceries. in the principal cities of the Union. to dispose of die goods Ohs taken 'for duties at half priee, for cash, on the nail, would make a - h . risit busi ness. would furnish the country with cheap goods, em ploy n great number dour must respectable Whig mer chants, Who Want offices, and turnout ready cash for the treasury at a great'rntn. The weights and monsurca of the United States would, in such an event, want regu lating. We should have weights and measures to re 'CliVl4 by, and weighty anti measures to sell by. By clip ping an ounce or two car the pound avoirdupois, and an flick or so MY of tho yard-stick used by the goverpinent in selling, wo think a fine fund might be raised kir rids eellancons purpOses, and save special ntuffrequentrip plications to Congress, which you knMy are always un pleasant,as they give rise to protracted debates and require satisfactory explanations. , It has been asserted by political economists, that the females of this etuintry outnumber the males, anti that unless something is done right speedily lo'curtail thiS alarming disparity, every- man, rich or poor, sick Or Well, lamo or blind, will soon be obliged by law to marry two wives, to satisfy the reqnitaments of old Leviticus. and prevent n noisy and troublesome Latency of maiden !attics of an uncertain ago from continuing flat, stale, and un profitable. in the midst of a stiff-necked and rebellious generation. In Turkey they keep the numbers equal by moans of sacks, bowstrings, and the Bosphorus; iii Eng land they . keep them down by starvation and transporta tion; and in Franco they export them to the-four quar ters of tho world as governesses, or turn them into her maphrodite shopkeepers, with eyes as keen as weasels, and hearts that would make whetstones for cold chisels. Perhaps if Congress would lay a tax on foreign females equal to a prohibitory duty, and require every mato emi grant to marry here before naturalization, the evil would be 'calcified in a measure; and then, in tho language of Mrs. Partington, "if the poor lone women of our land were not mothers in Israel in a jiffy, it would not be their fault, or the fault of Congress either." But this is a matter peculiarly appertaining to the Department of the Interior; and there we must leave it for the.preaent. Wo tiro informed by the Treasurer of the United States .that a few more cheeks will be wanted; but as fur boinn (es none will be required, as the Mexican war has loft a plenty of them op hand in every department. On the whole,'this is a great country; and it takes something to make the United States a suit of clothes dud find them a breakfast. As to the other matters of alto treasury, we have not yet become acquainted with t hem; when wo do we will let you know; and until then wo must mount die woolsack and sit at dm receipt of cus toms, which any one can see is not our accustomed sent. [Composed by Mr. inn. N. N., S. T. . INTERIOR. Tho Department of the interior. which occupies a po. siticin in the cabinet equal to that Qf the belly among' the; members, has been mauaged in a beautiful manner by the relic of General Ilarrison's administralkM.. Con._ sidoring that Congress mado no provision for now offices, and no appropriations for contingencies. this departmont has shown itself equal to a full Committee of IVaya and Moans in both, houses of Congress. a genornl appropria tion bill, and a Suprome Court with a full bench. It takes the head of this department to tnanago,difficalt subjects., and whaewith upsetting the Commissioner ofPensions and overhauling defnuct Indian claims, ii etollt!a, forth old Smith's qualm in frosty weather, prc-erninekity erect. The Department of the Interior is the biggest child in the trundle boa by all ods; and but for a way it has of taking its place in the middle of tho bed, another fellow might sleep with it with much pleasure. As it is how ever, none of the cabinet prefer sleeping on both sides of the western giant; and so Ito reposes, like Lieutenant °shell) . in'Alidshipinap Easy, solitary and alone. The subject of vaccinahon at the taking of the census in now before this departmcns, and a committee of cow dodters are out hunting after healthy scabs for the masses, at sal “ries varying from $2,000 to $1,600 per annum, payable in advance, from the surplus fund, by covering warrants. The renovation of the wigs of tho republic has alsccre coived marked attention between meals-and at oddsimes, and a public vessel has been despatched to Norway after a caravan of bears to make hair oil by the puncheon. It is supposed that these animals, crossed with a sufficient number of healthy bears front Wall street, New York, might render all further importatio is unnecessary; and if properly baited by the government organ, might afford some fine sports for the cabinet and Congress on Sun- days afternoons, in Commissioner Mudd's lawn, which every one knows reaches front the President's kitchen garden to the canal. Tho culturo of the grapo is another important _matter worthy of early attention—grape being used on board our vessels of war, and having been tried with great success at Buona Vista. Tho head of this department, who is over ready to pioneer tho way for the public good, is now trying all the foreign wines ho can get bold of, allopatlii catty and lioniccopathically, so as to get a prime tasto for tho home manufactured articlo„' when it is made in suffi cient quantities for him tataste. Whiskey is as good here as it is in China; and why old port cannot be made out of grape skins hero as good as that which comes from Lisbon, is more than any ono of the cabinet can tell us. A corps of letter-writers. pensioned by the government has been found exceedingly useful in feeling the pulse of the country in adv: m nco upon all important matters of doubtful policy. If the matters thns.brought to the no tice of the people take, and aro generally approved of, then the Executive organ follows in their wake with its leaden leaders, nod • the matters are speedily arranged upon the plans proposed; but iron the contrary, ns is gen erally the case, the'peoplo loathe thorn, then tho irres- Iponsiblo retailers of cabinet secrets aro denounced as ea umniators, and thero the matter rests; for nobody is responsibl for what nobody does or says, and tho adminis tration least of all. This is a gear improVemont upon the old system, and as the fellows are ull fed by the same band, and crammed froM the same manger, a delightful unformily of sentiment pervert 30 the whole, and the same remarkable coincidence of language and thought appear in the country papers from the Aroostook to tho Dell Norte. Tho propriety of furnishing each department with a copy of Chesterfield and a Complete Letter-writer is also suggested. A United States spelling-school in the great room oldie I'utent Office would add'lnuch to tho uniform ity of the orthography of the government; awn( a bureau of orthograph could bo established, with o professorship on manners, the intesnal arrangements of this depart ment would be complete. The , propileti of building private residences out of the public revenue.for.the cabinet has boon forcibly improssed upon our minds since the difficulty which tho hood of this department has had in procuring eutublu lodging,* for him self at a reasonable charge. If Congress should sanc tion this plan t perhaps it would be Well to have a green bowie attached to each rosidesieo, end it pitblie gardener aPpoitited to "str;! orintond the whole.' This would enable the Eiiicutivo to provide for ono ; of thorkseendants Of tho "bleeding heal i,""without disturbing tho present public gardner, who has b: ought his ecioncoto senli n pitch, that ho eats trim trees at both ends, and mako more thrifty by the operation. • 7hirvehhelaugscontiquo_preity,,muelt , whero : thay were whets the Oreat'Atehitect , of, tip eeiverso placed them: and the Indiana arc gradually.going,arvay front them, be: fore.peapeatflo aneautor ttlo govorOTept, to wit: detoc4. menta of draiooreatid lefoetr3„,•, A few more tativvith them, y.th l e,l,olp of icabOreit ititerritera, leiticti to tho IV' 0 N 'A It D . :4l` ) " _ • .... • . nitrizTeir = wiihtOarkr end 'cittninieter. Will soon clear the preinlites;' drid•fraivo l o l cker field for posterity. • - The useful arts aro lit a fair way of baing'eneouraged , shico i we. limo: , pio ritAie bend, of tito Patent °Teo one of tic best, writers sopon !Ktdi:willies and other _water; works dint otkulkhirkoeuld abroad.. Tho forests of tho ' 1 old States nro it disng9CAClPoiog,consnined for bud and liousus.- 1 t is_theeghl iiikissible to recoil; mend dint every, eiti?.vii of the, Pill edAlate,a.,whenever, he leaCes his , residexce,' should hilt , titt r itoibete, with, chestnuts and acorns. and shoAdd yin tom, oc thern whenever and wherever lie, sloPloldje i i.. l 4V.ptttpase,,itt the course of the day. ‘yo tliiii4 *At, ititttiimito w a s tookooinring the session of Congroso.4lloKylatidav,eilito and lour-and-a -half street Would;in , a!elkort,,tiino. bp a perfect aursey. without _ furth- , , to ofltt9Pti3tio.titt? ..7 3: Tito en444^lirSq is,Pregressing with great rapidity: and Wltnnittlite,baso lines and angels aro,runalong the cOrtst.turnpi a,voads and bridges enflicientfor the inhab itants 'been :built out of the public treasury, withoni,raiOnz the question of internal impiovements for the, •anithadversion of strict constructionists. The electric telpgraphi which is the most oceentrio of all dm ngcultvstrqdaypd by 'his department, has helm made to play,pashit japes on sendays, and lighter airs of Cir. other 'days of the week.' !Viten' our messages can be 'carried everywhere or tecoper, and a song into the bargahi, it seems toms that rho tnillenium may be conaiderod Rehear at hand. ,trusting that wo may bo pardoned f* all sins of 'ohtlesiOn‘ktid commission, and that congress will pass no' tiwiagainit nepOtiem and ask'no awkward questions about Seirtiolig since 'disposed of, Westin]: leave the civil and proceedCd to the military affairs of this republic, where 'everyman is a 'soldier, rind every hearthstone a fortress. ' [Cornposed Ly jT. .11., Sr. H. Wrinkled front no more. Peace broods with sitter' ;kings over the gentle i flundalrini'ver and upon the hdll-rtislied banks of the Burathpooter. Autiterlitz and Marengo have become insignifiet4nt villages, whilo' the city' of HOB, in Boston harbor. is alonit'crazy (Jr havoc, fetachce,'nfid famine. Liberty; with a gill of whiskey a day. leans ht Weld Point upon a broken spoil., and Cupid twines Wrektliail reeetiaroutid the rusty breeches of the" silent canniiii; 'A`U: expedition, half military and half civil, has been sent 'out in wagons, with 'spring seats, by the Departinent of ilia Interior, to the Califiirnin diggings, but for good purpose,' the Department cif War re mains' In nietasoiable and, we may stye not an unnatural stale of deniosity. 41L • 'fhci iersorthernrflos army has been improved by 'U. ductien,ind the materiel leaslicin pfrfocted by keeping iti re -: dry:pi - See and drinking good ,liquor. Taking every thing into'cOnsideration, we consider the standing' army of 'a reptihlid i ! ioodthine; especially rfintint lnrgo•Citiete in (hues :ranks, and other tirrible 'excitements. VraticOlicittliiihrine: Y epinion,wnel keeps_ her ats only 36000irfen, eariiP)ivanien . and ',Milers. We , think WO - Orono Wellabie its 'Fratice to keep flip half that' ninnber. : , Theipractiee of wearing whisktirs4n the mili tary seib l icif of the United States Is 'Mt to,be I tiofesteed by any Prineipie of law Or equity, Some oflicers'cnn not turn out a icilitectiblei pair, Weave their souls; awl' why hair should die reipiiiiid by regulation. to grow *herb heir lis i tt whiter weicannot fathom.— it fa iiiingnrentiolitierty. ciadtonirary to nature both for eign ! ' - jity domeittle.. tcero 'therefore refccommeinf that . Corigrj;s'stialirekt offVverY Whisker 'in tho twiny by means of the previous question: Much lime and pp:natant mink' th us be saved, and glory would find something else to crown, besides sandy whiskers and bald heads, when alto descends upon her errand of immortality. Raising such a crop around the muzzle weakens the roots of the upland growth. There is too much saltpetre and sulphur, put In our gunpowder in these piping times of peace. A great saving in these articles might be made. It is only requisite for the powder in thneof peace to carry iLsolf out of saluting cannon. Why, thOn, should it be made as strong as when it was required to carry out 42-ponnd', belle, in addition to its own Weighti Wo presume Con- greets will legislate understandingly in this flatter, and give the War Department, in the shape of a clerical fund what it saves off of the powder. Benidea,i at this time, ,sulphur and charcoal aro wanted for the "prcratent." anti saltpetre is in groat doitutud for pork. The propriety of dispensing with longcrity rations in the army is suggested. How an officer can want to eat more pork and othercompo acute every year that he con tinues in services, when ho has lost his teeth, and 160813 fit food for gunpowder, and hardly fu r that, is a chinkapin beyond our philosophy: An old soldier does not draw or cat any more thou a raw recuit. - Why, then. should the old officer eat more than the young tne? l'ho,Conimis sary of Subsistence will 5001 find tho pork crop exhaus ted, if wo go on feeding abstractions at this rate. Ilea merchant navy has been suggested by a distin guished navel officer of our country, in lieu to the present one, would it not bo well to have a merchant army 2— This could be 'done as easily as the former, and war then could ho caried on by contract. iVo think so much should be paid fortonquering a foe by the Intim. If this idea should prevail, and taws should be kicked up about tobacco; grizettes.dye-stuffs. and other groceries, between France, and England. and our republie,'nbout the neatest and quickest job of work in the gating nud slashing line would bo done in the vicinity of ibis hensispliere that has ever boon rec Ordered by mortal pea'. The 'proprie t y: of adding onions to tho army rations, nstead of whiskey. has been suggested, and has re caived-seriouslattention. Onioes - aro strong, and , will keep offtho scirvey; they aro also capital for n bad breath; and the man Of war wants such Ibod; besides, liko damp gunpowder, though they smell rank, they never addle tho brains of the jile, which is more than can be said of whis key, The ordinance of the United Stales are onto heavy for quick maritiltes.' A light gun, which is loaded nt the breech, and which, in the language of the inventornever prccoits, unless it does a little furrards. is highly reeconi mended' for field Work. Thiagun is to be slung under a horse'sbelley lengthways;and is lo be fired from the rear. Thus, When it rebounds, it will propel the horse forward, and by this Means will render it impossible for the 'enemy ever to Carina) tlio light artilcty.' Heavy fortifications, since-the capture of Vera Cruz, Ore deemed unnecessary in the United States, excepting at the island ut the mouth of-tho Washington canal. There a field-work should he -raised to protect the - Washington Monument from fire, and the woodboats that come up the majestic Potomac, from the attack of the remorseless ' enemy; besides re pelling freshets in tho fall of each year. would be of great practical utility, and the garrison in their leisure moments could improve,in'target shooting, by firing at the fisher man's beats that constantly pan mid repass on the liquid highway to Arlington: - An inch is hereafter to be taken 011' of the cocked hats of the army. by way of economy. and curried to tho reserve fundt , anti es every body wears twecpaule It?. it Ints been . suggesteel that brigade and di vision ollicergeliall.,vvenr four epaulette---ono on each pocket flap, as well us (moon encl' shoulder. yhi4#,,,iod enable naoldier toetell colonel from the conunander-tn:- chief atanytinie, anywhere, and would prevent Many ktughtehlo mistakes in the army tliature of alienist dwly oacurenco. Almost every umn 111 .. 010 UPI tedScates has invented a new gun, ivrtieli has neither stork . ; lock." bar eel; nor touch.hole, rind,whiah,, bleu enemy's,; country, goes lifref itself, withenit being leadenly provided, it is only -aimed right;, and, each inventor knowa theet„,with hiis gun wet , will be dried up like picked Oietercer boerailiatea like a punctured pimple epee the feee.ef 1c0.) . 7 - 4 dor. , -.lrer our perf, we um elide gum end gnapowder; IiSZM but wo do say that 'smt without a voni is a 8, for a Ctosar, and is only fit to shoot n hun thl pip; A board of . e!lizers will ho re . q.lirod to sit at tfi goverintiont ftir tiro nest live years. to p4rg' o OD of its foreign ; afftnities and innovations., 'Thu languago of the lost-books is bastard Frinicit oi matt Latin. What do we Itnow.of oprouvelleste eLdavettes, or vidottes7--of echelons, t hovering, e lions, pompous, demijohns. or catholicons? TI an American citizen has to become a Frenchny Ito cap 4tnow the regulations of his mini runty clear of three courts martial per work ; ow! we' doubt that many,a good America li hasWritah scrvico for being a pour imitation of aforeigner Our opinion of West Point since our cireplor dots, which It:vibrant printed onitatin anal tram confidential Fides, has changed entirely 141163 w it. . We think it is a capital military school for gincers ; and as railroad companies itte'rea.ie ra addition should be built lo the institution, to en United States to educate young gentlemen for a porations as fast ns they are required by then). at I mullein expenio. Why the comm littler' of itt3 should ride four horses and cat the rations of fo daily, is a problem to be solved by the military b In concluding our views upon t h e right - arm o tioual thifence, we can oak say that turope is Asia at peace, Australia in a fog, and the Unite of America as comfortable as could he ezpectoi the circumstances. "Attention, (Ito universe:" right!"—"rost!"—[Composed by IV. ff. C., :1, NA% Y. - __ ! The naval afttirs of the republic, like all othe well ntirstul t have gradually increased until Choy I come pretty much all the affairs we have gut on board. Upon cramming tho puvonnet, and the I 'and the eh erin! of the navy—for they go by w steam, as well as by water—we awl much _to Our officers .. .tire frequently found "running di trades"—a matter which is calculated to injure t mercial world, if longer stasred ; also, "boating ters," as though our. men would not tight wallet' beaten to their guns; besides, they aro - constantly ing slays"' att.! •'losing hamlets oft' of the jibe.", they have Vile articles on Ward, we know• net, female is•permitted to go to sea in a vesauhuf•wa out a written permission Irene this deoartmont, such 'permission has been given since the advert ''Bernie Age." also, - that holy Aeries are common rtit i board all vesiols ! of-w.w. Whether they are used intim culprits who are guilty.of "lying to" an oiYances under the Levitical law,. or era suporstit ics, cinch as the blarney stone of Kilkenny, fit: stone at Neces,the Rosetta stone of Egyin, the royl of Scroile, or the blue sto'ne of medicine, we hay been ablo to ascertain; bat no matter wino; tires what they are fur, we have ordiired the eonfounde, lobo thrown overboard as'relies of bsibarous age.; science, when she dosiros to complete hor s cobin readily find by dredging the Atlantic. We rigr the Irish philosophers that a thing Cannot bolos , you know where it is. Then, again, our ships are often half seas ov , frequently staggoti 2 Mider ?lulling aails . . which is tt,voy bad examplo, to the temperance utivice werld. The practice of pormitting the purser tr ' , boll" on ship-board. When the first lieutenant .1 not permitted to have a cat,'except a cat of nine tails, is a matter worthy of consideration. "Dead horses"are fro= fluently carried to sea, and worked otitta a crta o by all hands; and as they aro a nuisance -,,r, ancient on in, we cannot throw the things overboard, bad as they n flat be. without a special act of Congress. We are glad l o learn, however, that the seamen aro always ready to w ork, af ter the most severe exertions. in saving even tl e f ship from destruction. We never heard yet of their refusing to "splice the main brace" at midnight and ,n a ale of wind. By rho way, that brace must be a Writ.' thing; for"it wants splicing sometimes twice a da. hordi latitudes, which, wo pre'sume, ought to h-o-a-r-s-o latitudes, the winds there having vi colds accompanying them. Many diseases aro alsli counected with the navy; such as extensive iskuet pages, leakages, wind a4rikos, and carbuncles. have many idlers on board, and skyl Irking prevai great extent. They have many highly improper for ropes and blocks, which used not be .reperde imt which Congress can reality aqeertain from t old salt they catch on a cruise on shore, with the er.leach of his foretop.% Mani Soil n little lifting. Many stores aro kept on haard each voisel in c Ann, when, in our opinion, ono good grocery. managed, would answer for all. - rho whole se full of British rules and British cnstomi. ' The 'their hats to an abstra4t kii3g, when they come a thereby wearing out the front part of every ha , 'service. Naval hats Can always ho' told by th mark on the front brim.' This custom is derog the people of a free repuVe, and, with co&Oing ei t Wing, should be read out of the service with short Sailors are extravagant dogs; when they can' flour enough in any other only, they pudding the, and often indulge in pickled cats and tarred rep. ", They have a curious way in the service of tel crything to the marines, before communicating ] depai intent; which is a scriuus evil. and should, edict] at once. The idea of building Lalance dry-dada. or at dry-docks, is a nonsensical one, and should be re by tho present enlightened ago. Dancing-mns i circus-riders may balance as much as fhey ple who could dream of balancing' a 71 (min pair: dry-dark, that aro always hate fun if heater. nothing but itbsurbuta mar:awns, as they say in school at Accomac, and should never boldepeu. by a Chrisnatt - peoplo who go a clamming at big -It is suggested, that a vessel might ( he sat foundering at sea by boring holes in her hull, Ling in taps. Thus, when the vessel !c l ans to ttad exposes her bottom, the taps on the exposed to be drawn out at the tap of the drum, and the oho ships over the bithvarks will go down the li and pass through her like brandreth's pills, by Clapping in tho taps, then, before she rights, her Witless on one side in a jay, and -leave In' slaa comets on the other tack Sweet and dry. B ing the experimentyn the other side, the whole; ba anew', Ltsaew, and no sickness but the do and chilblains wilt ever ho heard, of in that cru sure, this would he taking the disadvantage of wind, but we believe that that is rateable, if it i a respectful manner. oven on board 9f a man-of It would require careful hands at the tali% and for that purpose it is respectfully suggested formed drunkards, who have been used to dram and whiskeY tho dark. should alone be' enlist 'caviains of the hold. and !lollop and filo rear the niter-gnarl. The captain of the lioad t ow , kl Peculiar duties, might ho shirredto / liquor es lie !goosed, provided lie did not go loolepp.iittiti i l ways. The presortt ago is an ego of vapor an evorytlniuzsteams ' ,rron to •) 4 !a • i 0 the anchor b0y..., It, is ell, poll" Anil Rattkllv, nt I nod.rum. firatAlogltti 6 Pacrk ;o tltq JAIMMM: realm: braked; di:4544..1u a cart out. ion et.,e) 'a cradle %fiestas* ot:letueumbo sple inn sider6hcolo r its oi:out:the CIA COM 1 • ' I t , par pirtmein are ' - of nutter: Kiso radio,' S 1 50:A•YEAU, in Advaaoa. . Thu only balances that this department takes any in• terestin are balances duo from locofoce disbaniing Pri cers to the United States. „Having assumed the hoc. lions of the Fourth Auditor, tree have found seven pariere who owed Olive ninepences a piece for frectiois to the United States, rtil'six navy opine who charged five cents a pieco for lettei Pylita'ge in their aecounts against the strict rule of Alois department. and have dismissed ritem all as de‘faulterir,..,rituiput its their places good men and trite, who never eau cheat from their constitutional want of kuotiledgc.. '. iin eitair has the i n twit of ovrt leo military lid Nur . ruilettLs, Icontrav io fact is, it beforo lor Alter The proclico of sailing'aldpi of war-on the Sabbath re contrary to tho wishes of this department and against the spirit of tile ago: Vo tliti l rFfore have:ordered all shlris ,, of war son to furl lieit4alls, and audior from sutiseton Saturday to stinriso otillitunday; and that) ifr soundings have also been oPiered_to, furl, their tudisa ;SO " to sink nu iron pot, with - a cable) bent on to it. two as 10 gal. through;the motions of being .till; if nothing elset.if they ' drift away under those eirctimstanc'es, -it will be their 'fault imilnot ours. IVe think that dried beef would capitafstili.timte fur the rusty pork - tind magobany Used in the navy; tniiHty taking a flock of sheep ip too hold. and a thousand of two of chickens in the live, at every port, a fine table d'hato might be kept on the lower gun deck of each vessel in native service, which would fatten the men and make the "enetny on all occasions desire to• be taken' prisoners by us for the rations they would tie ' sure to get. Resides, a cock crowed io the mizzen rig ging when Macilonough captured the village of Lake Champlain; and •sliy shouidn'A a cock crow in our miz zen rigging iu our illustrious dnysT The tope of curves. eels would ho rendered of great valutrlfrom the guano which would necessarily ho deposited there; and if Oar - Virginia commodore didn't want it all for his modciferm in Fairfax comity, a generous donation might he made to t h e United States tannery at Pruttiville, Now york. Upon a careful exacaltudient of all the pubLa yessebo,•. we find them hurotc. and Allot the man Who blows the whietlo is nobody but a buatawain,—facts which trill tin: deothtcdly astonish Congress es - mazis hstlierno;it,ishid us. Tito court-martial ordered upon the cernmandei of one ofour stosinerm„ who was ordered, during on grand conic tour, to round in Ids vessel to Lit castor a idtalie to Bedford Springs, Inis been countermanded, it bay. ing been node to appear that Lancaster was nos • ippon. ' and Bedford Springs nothing but a sinall waterin ! . place. where a dinner-pot even could'nt float. 'MIN 110 t in Om P o tbaca !d by our visited iril au 'idly, an .blo thu tch cor ho gov achoul tv loon = the na at war, States I under '•oyes afrtirs, avo be- C sea acrid, and MIME wn the 331E1 lar Wing "nuset - Why or nu r with - I. nd 'nu of tiro ..lroreein.tie there:" "Stand by to handspike the jib:" Let her quilt—llion: [Co . 4 mposed IV. B. P ' OST OFFICE. ,isles on -in bioll The mails oldie United_States for the that hint inoothil: have - been carried with a safety, eelerity, rind 'reOtaritTi.' that surprising , considering th at the postniastere have all been turned out, and the names of all the offices have been changed. Oireat complaints; it was eipCctetlJnientd:, arise, and greater causes Of Complaint wore espected exist; but owing to the inimitable tact of the s2contl As aistuut POstlllabter General, which was develops,' in Team' before be came here. and, ofeourse, after he leftMassa chusens, for Alasinclitisetts' good, in a hurry, th&tividele has been made to work admirah!y. Tliii has been main-.• ly owing to the now manner of oh:king op ~ 1 14 maila is. a lump. That is. having ascertained the weight of mills, ablo,,matter, that is usually sent ,to sash oIUCS front etldli Office. tho poatniastere all around tho compass have beets, instructed, without regard to the sapeteCti#ttfoni en itto letterer to throw the Whole coritents7* of the - *ails *ion: .their distributing tables. and thence weigkout, baP7hei aril, the proper weight of:nuitter for each, office in ceiniec.t. 11031 therewith. By this arrange:flea, it is true* many letters go wrong; but as they finally come into the Deist feeler (Vice at Washington, it occasions only iiquarter'S delay, which is a trifling flatter in those heroic days. By this means, it has boon deemed a difficult matter to rob the mail understandingly; fur no one knows when he opens a bag what mail ho is ageing to find within; aid, so he lots them pass unopened owl unspoiled. An express mail by camels across the American con tinent, with it telegraph wire altsched to the tail of each , animal, would be a magnificent affair, 'and would insure not only a safe but &constant communication with the gold regions; for every day a despatch could bo sent by the mykoriotis fluid, and as the operator in the telegraph' office rapped out the words, the mail-rider on tho desert could tell by the vibration's of his camel's till the purport, of the same. and liko Captain Cuttlivnake a note of it.: Tho first despatch sent in that manner would be ever- - imental,, and might therefore 'be 4411eil "Mn."i Thy practice of making Contracts with iddividnals for trans porting the 'mails is ofFen.ively exclusive, and savors strongly of inoitopoly: We recommend (ho mall con. tracts tolio all annulled, and that ever) body—bleck whits and gray—bo autliorizA to carry letters from one and of tie country to the other, paying the, highest Satz of postage (two coats) to the ones that arrive at the post office first, and the lowest rate (half a coat) to the fellow that comes in last; no postage to bo prepaid.'end all let ters to be bo taken out of the post office, by the onei rh. bid the highest fcr them, nuns Gohrs, and no minstion asked. • other rol- black al atone not vet are, or things . Which t. will .a with when r, and setting of tho keep a TM 18 rotten I in the l o spelt r) bad found stop- I They le to a names here. to first nllnis roperly vico is touch deck, in the king's tory to d ine/- rat•ers. A very groat loss arises every year from the free we et toothsome paste in making up packages.. It is calculated that over one-third of tho lake packages are eaten up by the rats in ouch °free per annum. This is peculiar to money loiters; and as nobo'dy Seals tioney, now in the post offices. we' know that the rats cra to blame. and no ono else. A linfi-terrier ofapproyed • blood will therefore ho required for each office in tho Union. and a whole litter of active puppies for the largo distributing offiees. By mixing alloes and arsenic in tho' paste. in addition hi the ahovo sanignards. it seems plausiblo that thieevil would be remedied. We / wonder why our predecease: never thought of thio.matter. wasto anchor, HMI ing co -1 to I.IIJ MEM y other udiatod era and so; but As to tey are law law ca upon The rai:reads of the Wiled Stales.like all other corps ration's, keep all they get and get all they can. The quai -1 ity ::smerican conscience depreciated fifty percent. up en the establishment of those legal fictioas In the Union. and that article is now down to par with that of European gron th. I water. d from l ad put no aide, ,t•itle are sea that tchwapt alight' ill liuish r when It tins been suggested by our agent and correspondent. ilert ury, to employ carrier•pigeons in carrying !sprees letters in the United States. as an offset to milt:gads and telegraphs. Dy snaking it a crime punishable with death for any citizen to use those birds outside of the and by_hanging every fellow that Moteets a pigeon on his f 011 te. ' the business inight ho,kept entirely withitithe de partment, and the grpit monopolies would twkilled in the twinkling of a marling spike. The United States fontliarcd express would eat nobr ing for transpoEtntion .or extra allowances; end u each pigeon would have a guns parka poach. :no damage could arise from rain or snow; besidai, them could be no cutting of wired, no running ofrthe trod.: end no last connexicrns:in'ilthifbranch of the mail serviee: The pro- Miety of permitting the families of special agents to co Gee on nll mail rontetEie suggested on the score of ecea,* oniy; , besides. ,Wnero man has, his !amity along with him, ho aets hetter than when be goes *lone on en est tursion after robbers and letter pick-pockets. Thermal/ her of special agents 'in clectionecrink times latoefsmert. Wo hatl , ba rely enough to.carry Vermont it the lut lion. We recommend the constant empioyment 'thus 49 . 44411 local'nggnts.'at thivo ifoltars'perdiy andfinnut. and that_each'OnO (this beingx military age) be fesufn,d to wear .the uniform of.. a captain.of,theosailiths. with a biesti collar abOut the neck. witkthase words inscribed in legible letters on the same: , R.Wiro Howe Jaeohi." . • Ecos-cumoul Os rovawfraeci ' repent slupo, ill ob :Igoe I: to be gala of Juno 111 I=3 iltungh; that re. l ing beer d forth° ranks of it() his itn-h inter- Meow; ql down 1.1 einekp in %In, with This do. ME NUMBER 30. ;El II
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers