r "1 ! i 1 11 When He Died "Poor cl.l Cor. Hmonpl-!no!;i''fi " f I ziuh! the son ia with the thin side hM:eiv. "What's wrenc with htm?" growl ed the (Io-jWi--' '!:ux-1 citlzfn with the shoppy cy- I rows. "H don't need any ef your p'ty, tlou ho?" "Didn't you h ;ir n'jo-r, it?" nskod the Bcntimental-!ouk;:iK wan. "He's dead. He oioJ l.ifct Wednesday. Took pneumonia." "He'd take anything he could get his hands on if the owner wasn't looking, " oaid the double-chinned citizen. "Well, if he's dead, he probably is to le pitied." "He'ii dead." remonstrated the entlmental-look!np man. "So you told me." said the double ehlnned citizen. "It's a long lane that hasn't any turning. So he died a natural death, eh? I never expect ed it." "Why?" "He took out an accident policy for a year less thnn nine months ago," replied the double-chinned man. "He Wt qu!te a food deal of money, I heard," said the sentlmen-al-looklne man. "The firt thlme in his life," said he doublf-cUiniii'd ir.an. "I don't -e how he brought himself to do ;t, at that. He must have lost con clousnes at the last." "Tut, tut!" t-: ; i '. ilio sentimental ooking man. "Whtn a man's dead ve ought to forft his faults and re uember his virtues." "I can't recr-mber any that he sad," said the double-chinned clti--cr, "p.nd my me:'io:y is a pretty ood one." "I was at the funeral," said the tntimetnal-looklng man. "The .er " "Did they give him a funeral?" -sked the double-chinned citizen. "Of course they did." "I didn't know. I thought per vaps I beg pardon. You were go 'ng to say something about the ser aon, weren't you? I think he was i good subject for a sermon. Any body there besides you?" "The family was there, naturally and a few of his friends." "I thought he had always lived la Chicago." "What do you mean?" Where did bis friends come from, 'hen?" asked the double-chlnned Itixen. "I'm mighty sure he didn't 'ive any here." "Well, he wasn"t a man who had nany Intimates," admitted the sentl-lental-looklng man. "I can't say I 'mew him intimately, myself " "If you had you wouldn't have at tended the funeral," said tV.? double tinned citizen. "I knev. aim fair j well. About $600 worth, exclu de of attorney's f---. Still, I don't -now that I wo-! ".u't have gone If I ad got an Irviiatlon, Just to make -are. You're positive that he was ead, are you? You aren't Just tell :g me he Is to please me?" MI should hope that you wouldn't 'el pleasure to hear of the death of -.ay fellow creature," said the sentl-ental-looklng man. "I know you re not In earnest, though, when you y things like that. He was a good usbad." "He had to be," said the double linned citizen. "You saw his Idow, didn't you? A man would we to be good to her, unless he pre rred the society of a trained nurse Jd the hospital atmnjphere. So ey preached a funeral sermon! Did -e minister mention his watch?" "No," repield the sentlmental oking man, wondeiingly. "Why "ould he?" "It's customary to speak of a an's good works on uuc-h an occa on," said the double-chinned cltl n. "I supposed that he would have make the most of Oanby's." "You must have disliked the poor Mow," said the sentlmental-look-:S man with the thin wbiskers. "What makes you think that?" ked the double-chinned citizen. Jilcago Dally News. Doubly I'seful Mucilage. "If you make your own mucilage me heaping teaspoonful of gum ubic to an ordinary mucilage bot- gives It a cheaper rate than that night ready made), you can dis pose with court plasters, liquid or herwlse. except where an Intiseptic necessary," says Women's Home mpanion. "Ordinary tuts can be t.ted with it quite as effectively as th the patent preparation. Two ats thorouphly dried will stand the nitration of water better than any Ing but what the adhesive plaster . ctors use. With Thank. John Budd was a most sedate, pre- and altogether exemplary young n. When he wooed and won Su .1 Smiley, u,p belle of the village, erybody rejoiced at John's good nune. However, he bore his trl iph with modesty and decorum un Uhe day of the we lding. Then for awful moment, his air of aplomb lied him. When the officiating trgyman asked, "Will you, John, ke this woman to be thy wedded ife?' . John responded, blushlngly, fes. please." Personally Responsible. "That large man thinks himself a Wtty Important personage In this e, doesn't he?" asked the ftrang- "Why, if you tell him we're hay fine weather hero, he swells up kj It be thought he ruade It." EOf HUSBUHrS5fRJlN6E IJsLE Says Wife Injected Old Man's Blood Into His Veins and Made Him a Cripple for Life. Denver, Col. O. C. Rogers offered a novel plea in answer to a charge of non-support made by his wife, Bar bara M. Rogers, in court here. He said that Mrs. Rogers had blood from a diseased old man Injected Into his views, which nenrly caused his imme diate death and has made him a crip ple for life. Thus prevented from performing manual labor, he pleads that his wife cannot compel him to support her. Rogers, who is a young man, snys that he married Mrs. Rogers In Chi cago while he was a mere boy and when she was already the mother of five children by a former husband. "I was Inveigled Into the marriage by the wiles of a woman old enough to be my mother," said Rogers in court, "It was my first experience with a woman, and she easily threw the net about me. But after we were married she tired of my youth and vivacity and attempted to reduce me to the state of descrepitude which Fhe had reached. She got the aid of a quack doctor who was attending an old man afflicted with rheumatism end a loathsome disease. Under the pretext that, he wished to analyze the blond of the nged invalid he drew some of it from his veins. This he 1 ut into a hypodermic syringe and 'hili; I slept the quack Injected the dot e Into my arm," then exhibiting a tr.nd that was withered and an arm thr.t showed the marks of disease Ito.;-c.-; continued: "I came near to lo.;lng my life. As it is. I am unable to perform manut.l !;;l;or with that hand." Rogers Is related to prominent Den ver professional men. He has demand ed a Jury trial. DRAMATIC TRIAL OF DHINACRI Hindu Fanatic Sentenced for Murder of Sir Curzon Wyllle. London. Madar Lai Dhlnagrl, the Hindu fanatic who assassinated Lieutenant-Colonel Sir William Curzon Wyllle during a reception to Hindu students that was being held In the Imperial Institute, was sentenced to death at the Old Bailey. The trial lasted only an hour. Dhlnagrl was calm throughout the trial. When he was formally asked Madar Lai Dhlnagrl. vhether he pleaded guilty or not guil ty, he replied: "According to my view it was not murder. I plead not guilty." As the Lord Chief Justice finished pronouncing sentence the prisoner drew himself up in military style and saluted. He said: "I thank you, my Lord. I am proud to have the .honor of lay ing down my humble life for my coun try. Your sentence of death Is per fectly Illegal. You are all powerful and can do what you like; but re member, we will have the power soma time. That Is all I have to say." A MONKEY'S COARSE WORK. Vicious Simian Baseball Mascot Breaks Loose, Causing a Stampede. New Orleans, La. Infuriated by the taunts of the players, "Henry," the big monkey mascot of the New Orleans team, broke from his pen be hind the home players' bench at Pell can Park, climbed into the grand stand, and created a stampede and stopped the game between New Or leans and Mobile In the seventh In ning for several minutes. The Mo bile players were teasing "Henry." Lunging at one of them, be broke hli leash, chased the pluyers from his vi cinity and bounded into the grand Mand. The spectators threw programs and pop bottles at hira. Many became frightened aud started for the exits f.nd several were knocked down. The r. onkey Jumped out in the field and the umpire called the game. The ani mal was captured after Q few minutes nnd playlwr was resumed. Black Man Turned White. Rochester, N. Y. Jacob Thomas, a rrir.rkable colored man, died recent ly !n Le Roy. Thomas's color In the Inst twelve years changed from the ! darkest hue of the negro to white, so ninth so that he would no passed la the Etreets as a while man. THE COLUMBIAN. HINTS AT TRACE OF If We Come from Perfect Man We Have Degenerated A Lot, Says Schurman CUR BRUTISH STRAIN IS EVIDENT Cornell's President Criticises Ameri can Constitution in Referring to the Regulation of Divorce Great Change In Religious Thought. New York City. Whether we came up from the ape. as Darwin reasoned, or degenerated from perfect man, as Milton held, President J. O. Schur man of Cornell University, in address ing the Society for Ethical Culture in Carnegie Hall, said it Is certain there Is something radically evil In us, and It Is the business of modern ef fort to overcome it. President Schurman spoke on "The Development of Kt-ligious Thought." He confined himself to the period from Milton to the time of Darwin, whose centenary will be celebrated next month. The influence of theso men on religious thought was the basis of his address. President Schurman spoke of Mil ton's championship of religious liberty and the freedom of religious thought. Milton wus, he sr.lu, iU greatest advo cate and the aspirations which he had in that directici. wtre sir.nlur to the achievements and posset; loi s wliioh we enjoy to-day. It was not alou.; in the British Isies that the effect of Mil ton's advocacy was felt but it had a great influence in this country. "I am the last wan la the world," said the speaker, "to allude to the regulation of divorce as a bright feat ure of the American Constitution. It Is a shame aud a danger lu the ex treme In whljh j Is uow operated, but the other extreme would be Just as bad. Milton advocated that under certain circumstances divorce should be allowed. We In America are en Joying to-day some of the best politi cal principle which he favored. He was away ..head of his time In the advocacy of many of the things which we possess, and among them are some of the best things in the world. "Milton had d3linite theology which differs from the. of most thoughtful men of to-day. His philosophy was based upon the Ptolemaic theory of astronomy, while the Copernlcan sys tem, with the sun as the centre of the universe, is the accepted theory to-day. With the Ptolemai: theory it was easy for Milton to picture heaven and hell as above and beneath the earth but that pictorial represennta tion in 'Paradise Lost' would not an wer to-day. . So Milton's philosophy must be kept In mind in reading his work." In referring to the change In religi ous thought President Schurman said: "In the eighteenth century there was a great ea-thquake in Lisbon. Not only was the earth torn asunder and thousands killed buf. the religious thought of tlie day was most pro foundly stirred. Men of the greatest influence began to ask how the world could be governed by a beneficent Providence If thousands of lives were allowed ruthlessly be swept away. Much wps written at the time. The recent earthquake in Italy awakened wide-spread fW lings of horror at the loss of life u:ul sympathy and kind ness to-.-pru .he afflkteL but I never heard a voice raising the question which as raided when the Lisbon earthquake oix. riel. The thoughtful men of to-day anii even the masses have come ;o realize the Cop-rnlcan astronomy that the earth is not the centre of the universe but only an insignificant planet. "The theory of Milton was that man was crea:ed perfect; that he fell and needed rtnniption. So long as men believed our first parents were cre ated perfect this theology would stand but the whole scheme becomes irrational and even superfluous If the first being was not perfect, but akin to the barbarian. I do not believe that those who will Join in the cele bration o. the centenary of Darwin, next uionth, will contend that he has established the hypothesis that man and the ape sprang from a common origin, but all history and tradition tend to show that man's history is one of steady ascent "A for mysart. I don't care if I came from savages or half brutes or from a perfect man. The important point is what I have arrived at, not what they were, but what 1 am. As the Puritan Idea emphasizes the need of redemption, so now it is recognized by all, though we have our high Ideals, that we are sinful creatures and we have a brutish strain in us. The problem is to get rid of this brutish inheritance. No demonstration of science will deny we are sinful. There is something radically evil in us, aud It is the business of modern effort to overcoms It. "Notwlthstanuing the grtat advance in religious thought and the discov eries of science, the great essential truths remain. Though the Bible Is not regarded as Inspired in every lino and word, its value remains, aud tut) old precept to fear Cod and keep His commandments still holds good." Smoke Costs Chicago $50,000,030. Chicago. -Chicago Is the smokiest city In the world. The Smoke Inspec tor says so. The annual loss to manu factured articles is said to be 00,-000,000. DARWIN'S APE If OS BLOOMSBUR& ; to. tiiMTTEJS IWUL'H but t'i Csrr.en' Rum Has Cec-i CI ci cn Awful Twist by the Proliiis. Wn.-liinsion. D. C Now let tho l!lk ;l Indie's of K;igland and the Co i tiiiiv.t who periodically visit our ulicres to decry our lack of progress for refusing to let the fair sex indulso in the fragrant weed In public places, read this nnd take rourage. Vor, v.'hlle fliere has been an known in crease In the number of men smok ers In these I'nlted States during the twelve months Just passed, there hss been an Increase in the number of cigarettes consumed by Just 703,103,- Tl'.CO 6-ir c r..t 1 ,". 000.000' 0C.1. Obviously our women folk are responsible. And with the suffragette Leiomlng daily a more and more fre quent spectacle In our midst, who will stand up and say the ban on feminine smokers In public places can long te continued? Of course, no such reason as this fnr the big increase in the consump tion of the deadly "coflln nail" Is aC- iit.'ci&At.e.TT6 tveoe ti v c.isr. tim4e Ree.SAt? vanced by Acting Commissioner of Internal Revenue Robert Williams in bis report to Secretary of the Treas ury MacVeagh. He shows that the Increase In the cigarette consumption Is offset by a decrease in the number of cigars smoked during the last sis months of 1908. We held back on cigars In this period, most of us, and the resulting figures showed the de crease to be 152,185.830 under the fig ures for 1907. Counting five cigarettes equal to one cigar the increase in the number of the short smokes Just about evens up the decrease in the number of the cigars. So far as Uncle Sam is concerned, though, our switching from the ex pensive Havana to the cheaper "pill" is a good thing for the Government, because its Increased revenue totalled more than $2,000,000 in this same per iod. What the temperance wave that has been sweeping over all the coun try did to the Treasury coffers is al most sad enough to drive supporters of a lower tax rate to drink. For the Prohibitionists succeeded In washing away Just $7,641,978.12 of the national revenue. While beer, ales, porter and liiger beer were shunned by millions ol glasses more than in the previous year, the biggest falling off was In whiskey, the loss In that . line of liquid sunshine being $5, ."09. 831. 15. Carrie Nation, please write. CRIPPLE CURSED TRIO. Cald Pulllam, Thaw and Dr. Blnaa man Would not Die Natural Deaths. Fittfburg. A story of the curse of a cripple came out here In conncc-tio-i with the suicide of President Har ry C. Pulllam of the National League. Pulliain, with Harry K. Thaw and Dr. V.'iker S. Blngaman, was standing In front of a hotel In Pittsburg four ye.-.rs E30, and the three laughed loudly ai some Joke Just as a cripple In passing slipped and fell on the pavement. The cripple, thinking the trio were laughing at his fall, assert ed dramatically that none of the three would die a natural death. Pulliain never forgot this, and frlend,s assert he later spent much time and money trying to convince the cripple that he was mistaken. A year later Thaw killed Stanford White. Recently Dr. Blngaman was sent to Dlxmont Insane Asylum. Now Pulllam is dead by his own hand. SHORT SERMONS FOR PROFIT. Clergyman Gets Valuable Farm Be cause He Preached to the Point. Pine Village, Ind. Burgoyne Davis, a wealthy farmer and member of the Methodist Church In which the Rev. J. M. Williams preached for four years, made the minister a present of sixty acres of land, valued at $125 an acre. The Rev. Mr. Williams preached very short sermons, and it was be cause of this fact that Mr. Davis and his wife took buc'j a liking to him. The deed says that the consideration fcr the land is the deference that Mr. Williams paid to the wishes of his pr.r!i;hlor.er8 by making his sermons short and to the point. .Dies as He Kneels In Prayer. iochester, N. Y. Edwin Coney, aged seventy-four, of Riga, dropped dead Just as he knelt to lead th South Chill Methodist Sunday school ( IN A BAD WAY. Fttlent Saw a Sljht that Made Him Doubt the Doctor. A ("octor came up to a patient In an Insane asylum, slapped blm on the back and said: "Well, old man, you're all right. You can run along and write your folks that you'll be back home In two weeks as good ns new." The patient went off gayly to write his letter. Ho had it finished and pealed, but when lie was licking the stamp It slipped through his fingers to the Moor, lighted on the back of a cockro.K h that was passing and stuck. The patient l.a;!n't seen the cockroach. What he did see was his escaped post age stamp zig-zagglng aimlessly oc-oss the floor to the baseboard, wav ering up over the baseboard and fol lowing a crooked track up the wall and across the ceiling. In depressed Bllencc he tore up the letter that he had Just written and dropped tho pieces on the floor. "Two weeksl Not on your life!" he said. "I won't be out of here In three years." Sad is Sad. A mother, who was rather fond of the cheaper ten, twenty, thirty cent melodrama, one afternoon took her young daughter, who had grown to consider herself above that sort of thinr;. The daughter was bored, but the nether was greatly Interested, nnd finally, when the heroine had got into .1 seemingly inextricable position, broke down nnd sobbed heartily. "Mother, I wouldn't cry here." whis rcod the daughter significantly, ac cor 'ing the last word. ' Let me alone." replied the other hysterically. "If a thing Is sad. It's sau; I can't cry according to price." Marriage Eefore and After. Booth Tnrkington has written some exceptionally clever fiction. More re cently he has been in the limelight In the role of a politician. Not long ago ho was the guest of sown of his friends at a theatrical supper. In speaking to his neighbor at the table on the subject of marriage, Mr. Tark ington said a number of epigraminl c.il truths about this important sub ject. One was: "Before a girl marries a man, her opinion of him Is much the same as that held by her mother. After the honeymoon is over, the young lady generally comes over to the viewpoint her father had." Spare the Horses. A cavalry sergeant at a Western post had endured the stupidity of a recruit for many days. One day the "rookie" was thus greeted when he had violated the sergeant's orders: "Say, don't ever come at the horses from behind without speakin" to them!" exclaimed the sergeant. "They'll be kicking In that thick head of yours! Then the first thing you know there'll be a lot o' lame horses In the squadron." KEEN EDGED SARCASM. Riggs How did the quarrel begtn? Roggs The knife grinder spoke sharply and the butcher made a cut ting reply. Don't Complain. Don't kick because you have to but ton your wife's waist. Be glad your wife has a waist and doubly glad you have a wife to button a waist for. Some men's wives have no waists to button. Some men's wives' waists have no buttons on to button. Some men's wives who have waists with buttons on to button don't care a con tinental whether they are buttoned or not Some men don't have any wives with buttons on to button any moro than a rabbit. Improving. "How Is your son James getting on at college, Mr. Bogg3?" asked the Par son. "Fine," said Boggs. "He's getting more business-like every day." "I am glad to hear that," said the Clergyman. "How does the lad show it?" "Well." said Boggs. "when he first went up and wanted money, he used to write asking for it Now he draws on me at sight" The Cause. "What caused the separation?" "Oh. he thought as much .of him olf ns she thought of herself and as Hale of her as she did of him." , The Ideal. "Is your daughter learning to play the piano by note?" "Certainly not," answered Mr. Cum severely. "We always pay cash." A More Important Question. "Now a big Chicago firm complains that Its girls will not stay single." "Well, will they stay married?" Value in the Farm. Ex-Secretary Shaw Tells Why Sams Ini? Are Worth $26 in Acre, and Others $400. At the Williams' Grove Gratis. ers picnic last week ex-SecreUr? of the Treasury Leslie M. Shaw was one of the speakers. Among oilier things he said: "The American people are said to have been wasteful of their re sources. They have wasted tbeir coal, they have devastated tbeir forests, they have squandered their soil. When you go to Washington again, call at the Bureau of Soils and you will there be shown locali ties where worn out and non-productive land is purchasable at $25 per acre, which is identical in nit ural constituents with the lands around Lancaster, this State, wliicli sell for, aud are cheap, at three or four hundred dollars per acre. The difference is not in the soil but in the husbandry. In one in stance they have been neglected, incessantly cropped, without thanks or reward, until, in discouragement, they have given up the battle. J11 the other instance, and under prob ably the best husbandry in Die United States, crops have been ro tated and liheral rewards have been returned until the lands have lav ished their responses to kind and generous treatment to the enrich ment of the owner. We have little unoccupied aro.i left and are facing the certainly of a population of several hundred millions. He who can transmit t his children love for agriculture, as fx vocation, and who can leave them a reasonable inheritance of produc tive farm lands, will have done more for his family than he w',i: bequeaths a fortune, eveu as we now measure fortunes, plus pleasure-seeking desires. Those who rise iu the morninj to the performance of daily tasks, seldom figure iu Divorce Courts, either as parties litigant or as co respondents. The unhappy, dis contented, restless, unstable and uncertain, are those who have no tasks. The happy and contented men of earth are toilers, not idlers. The Census Law. On account of many false returns sent in by enumerators of a western city ten years ago in an effort to bolster up the population, the pres ent act fixes a severe penalty for a census taker who violates his oalli. If he shall wilfully and knowingly make a false certificate of a ficti tious return he shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon conviction shall be fined not ex ceeding $2,000 and imprisoned not exceeding five years. The bill also makes provision for those who may handicap the census taking work by refusing to auswer questions. Any person who ignores the ques tions propounded to him by an enumerator is liable to a fine of $ico and the same penalty is pre scribed for those who shall wilfully give answers that are false. Uncle Sain as a Showman. Moving pictures for the farmers is the latest development iu the ex ploitation of the work of the De partment of Agriculture. The success which has attended the ex tension of the nickelodeon business throughout the country has induced Uncle Sam to embark' in the enter prise on his account. A score or more of films have been seut to Minneapolis to be exhibited at the Minnesota State Fair this week. The pictures show plowing, sow ing, cultivating and harvesting of the cereal crops, the manufacture of butter aud cheese, fruit culture and other branches of modem agri culture. If successful at Minneapolis the exhibition will be repeated at other State fairs throughout the country under the auspices of the depart ment. Assistant Secretary of Ag riculture Willet M.. Hayes will su perintend the initial exhibition, and will have with him several as sistants from the department who will operate the machine aud ex plain the pictures. After the Peddlers. A raid is being made on peddlers and hawkers of goods in Shenan doah aud iu a short time that town will be free from these illegal trad ers, who are crippling the business of the legitimate dealers. It U said that the town has been infested with peddlers from strange ciu-s who bring goods that are purchase! at fire or bankruptcy sales to dis pose of to the people there. A sys tematic raid will now be waged oil peddlers, so that the town will he freed from those who are ruining the business of the legitimate u:ei chauts. Here is a tip for Bloouu burg. The legitimate business tnaui should be protected from hawkers and peddlers.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers