6 "CHARMING CHILD STORY; 0e Written by Alplionse Duudel Fomxl in un Old Iteuder, Once upon a time a little girl whol hated "readers" because there was nev er any thing interesting to read in them, opened her brand-new fourth reader and discovered that, so far as one story was concerned, the book was an exception to the rule. That one story was called "How the Crickets Brought Good Fortune," and in a most fascinating, taking-lt-for-granted-that you-knew-all-about-lt way it began: •My friend Jacques strolled into the bakeshop on the corner one Christmas eve, when—" There was no stopping when you had got thus far, Greedily and speedily the little girl devoured the all-too-few succeeding pages, and wtth a sigh of regret she laid the book down only when the very last period was reached. The story was really not about "my friend Jacques." but a poor little boy in a thin blue blouse whom "my friend Jacques" saw in th e bake ahop and who, hearing the song of the crickets that haunt such places, stood as If spellbound with the one long loaf of bread tucked under his arm. The baker's wife asked him why he waited. "Oh, please," said the little boy, "I hear crickets and crickets bring good fortune. Oh, if you would just be good enough to let me take some of those crickets home, then Ihey might bring us good fortune and my father would get well and my mother wouldn't have to work so hard." Th e story went on to say that the baker's wife at once gave to the little boy a fine lot of crick ets housed in a paper box, which he carried off delightedly, in company with three long loaves instead of one, after which "my friend Jacques" and the baker's wife looked at each other for a minute. Then the baker's wife took down her ledger and crossed off a whole paye full of charges with while "my friend Jacques" took the little boy's address and went •traight to the house, where he made yet more clear that crickets do indeed bring good fortune. That was all, but the little tale was told with such grace, anch art and, above all, with such sym pathy, that it won the heart of the little girl as no other tale had ever done be fore. The name of the author was not given, nor was there any clue to his identity. None of the elders could place the story, the teachers knew it merely as a story in the fourth reader, to be commended for that reason alone. The little girl had to content herself there- fbre, with renaming her one boy doll , "My Friend Jacques," while the story she tucked away in that corner of hei memory where so many other cherished but now inexplicable things were stor ed, all labeled "Things that I mean to find out about when I grow- up." The little girl had, it so happened, been "growing up," a good many years be fore she found out about the author of the story of my friend Jacques and the poor little boy In the thin blue blouse. She had read "Numa Rcumestan" and "Kings in Exile," and "L'Evangeliste" and "Tartarin," and ever so many others from the pen of Alplionse Daudet before she one day chanced to discover, bound in with some more pre tentious tale the little story so dear to her childhood and which no one had been able even to tell her was a transla tion. "How the Crickets Brought Good Fortune." —New York Sun. 4 A Pair of GloveH, First Assistant Postmaster-General Health yesterday rendered a decision of peculiar interest, especially to ladies. Some days ago some one in Sioux City, la., presumably a gentleman vrho had lost a wager, mailed an envelope con taining a pair of gloves to Mrs. Sarah D. Tucker residing in Worcester, Mass. The packet reached its destination, but one of the gloves was so badly torn - that it was useless. The lady complain ed to the local postmasted and demand ed that he at once go forth and pur chase a new pair of gloves to replace those which had been damaged in tran sit. He naturally declined, but the re cipient of the damaged gloves insisted that a new pair must be forthcoming from some source. To placate Mrs. Tucker, the Worces ter postmaster said: "Well, madame, I will refer the whole matter to the post office department at Washington, and there the responsibility for the damage will be located, and you will receive redress." This statement mollified th e irate woman, and the postmaster at Worces ter wrote the fllrst assistant postmas ter-general, explaining the case. The matter was as carefully and thoroughly looked into by the postofflce officiate as though it had been the theft of a regis tered parcel containing a large sum of money. It was developed that the clerk at Sioux City, who feeds the machine used for the cancellation of stamps, grabbed up the envelope containing the gloves of Mrs. Tucker and forced the bulky envelope through the machine. The stamps were cancelled all right, but the cancellor amputated several fingers of one of the gloves contained therein. First Assistant Postmaster-General Heath after sitting in judgment on the case has written a letter to the post master at Sioux City calling upon him to assess his cancellation clerk the price of one pair of No. 7 "La Perle" ■ tan gloves, and forward the same to ' Mrs. Tucker. Qiieor Ground fur Pmislon Claim A curious pension claim has recently been entered. Pat Bane, "the Green County Giant," will be remembered by many people who have witnessed inau gurations of presidents. Pat has been a familiar figure in Washington on those occasions. He is in reality a giant, standing seven feet four inches in his stocking feet, naturally a man to be singled out in great throngs of inau guralon week. He was a veteran of the civil war, and, as far as the records show, proved himself a man of valor. Now Representative Earnest F. Atche son, whose constituent "The Green County Giant" is, has introduced a bill to give him a pension. The case is rather a peculiar one, for the pension office denied him any furtherreward for his mttitary services. Pat's ailment i 3 rheumatism, and the ground on which he asks a pension is that because of ilia great size there were no uniforms in thfc service large enough to properly cloth htm. From the consequent ex posure he says he contracted his pres ent rheumatism—Washington Post. BORING FOR CORAL. Results of tl>o Expeditions Sent Out From Unglulul. The steamer Birksgate, which arrived on Saturday from the islands, brings further news from Fiji concerning the coral-boring expedition at Funafuti, in the Ellice group. News had been taken to" Suva by H. M. S. Royalist of the progress made by the expedition after the departure of Prof. David in the John Williams. When Prof. David left Funafuti on Sept. 7 the bore was down 557 feet. On Sept. 16, when the Royal ist took to Suva a letter to Dr. Gor ney from G. Sweet, F. G. S., who is now the leader of the expedition, stating that the boring for the last BO feet was chiefly in coral rock and that no sign of volcanic cork or rock other than coral had yet been met with in the bore. When the Rayolist arrived the expedi tion had consumed all their coal, but Commander Rason was enabled to sup ply sufficient coal to last them till the arrival of the steamed Archer, from which it was hoped and additional sup ply would be obtained. Prof. David states that, the bore hav ing already exceeded the depth for which Darwin stipulated in his classic al work on coral reefs, and a gcod core having been obtained throughout, it may now be looked upon as a success. Information likely to be of considerable scientific value has been obtained, and ■he considers that the general evidence so far appears strongly to confirm Dar win's theory that most of the coral atolls of the Pacific have been formed on areas of the earth's crust which have been undergoing a prolonged sub sidence. A detailed report of the re sults obtained by the expedition will probably be incorporated in the report of the Royal society of London on the coral atoll of Funafuti, the earlier por tion of which will be written by Prof. Sollas, F. R. S., the leader of the funa futi expedition last year. The bore at Funafuti is lined throughout with the best artesian tubes, four inches in out side diameter. Every foot of the bore had to be lined throughout wit'h the prevent fragments of coral rock and coral sand choking the bore. The work of boring has proved very difficult on account of the variable nature <of the strata (quick sand alternating with coral rock), and also on account of the very cavernous nature of the coral rock, which has caused such a jarring as to repeatedly break some of the strongest cast iron weels in the machinery. The diameter of the core obtained from the bore is two and one-half inches. —Syd- ney Herald. IVnmleriiig Freight Curs. On December 25, 1596, Minneapolis and St Louis car No. 3,118 left Minne apolis with a load of flour destined to Montgomery, Ala. It went through to Montgomery with reasonable prompt ness, about eight days. Instead of re turning the car via the same route re ceived, the Atlanta and West Point railroad started it on a series of divis ions, and it has not yet reached homej although at one time it got as far north as Peoria, 111. There it was turned back, evidently with another load for the south, as it was delivered to the southern railway on September 28. Since that time the owners have not been able to locate it at ail. It has made a trip to New York, Boston and Montreal, but was returned westward and southward via the same route until it reached the southern lines, since which time it has been wandering around among the southern states. Auditor W. E. Lee of the Kansas City, Watkins and Gulf railway adds another to the stock of curious stories. K. C., W. and G. box car No. 2,028, left home loaded with long leaf yellow pine lumber, July 15, 1896, he eays. It was consigned to South Bend, Ind. It would seem- that it had been two months in discharging original load at destination, as it was in possession ot delivering line from July 21, 1896, to September 20, 1896, when it was return ed to St. Louis, and there loaded with grain for Memphis. Upon arrival at Memphis It would appear that the load had been reconsigned to Macon, Ga„ then loaded for Atlanta. After several switch movements it seems to have been successful In procuring a load fot Pinners Point, Va., where it must have taken a month to unload, as it was in possession of delivering line for over a month. The next load we have record of is to Louisville, Ga. Since then it seems to have been used principly in switching service, possibly with trans fer freights. After reviewing records, I And from Junction reports that the car has been on 19 lines. It has been away from home 472 days, one line having it 72 days. A Coffin for a Penny. Coffins at a penny each would seem to be out of all possible proportions to profit, but nevertheless the Preston Union has accepted a contract for the supply of these necessery but gruesome articles at ths figure, and ranging from it to a fourpence. In spite of the low ness of the price the contractor has to bind himself to come up to a specified standard of quality. The explanation of so one-sided a contract—for no coffin could ever be made even for fourpence—is to be found in the fact that the friends of the deceased have often club money to draw, which they spend in a superior quality coffin Instead of allowing their late friend to be sent to his long rest ing-place in one of inferior make. The profit whldh the undertaker makes on this transaction Is so large, that he is able to carry on what, at first sight, appears to be a ruinous trade—North British Gazette. Why the DOR Was Afraid. The men of a certain regiment las? summer grumbled a good deal about the inferior food Berved out to them, particularly the meat, which was often times decidedly tainted. One day a strange cur was prowling round the square, as the battalion was falling in for drill, and the colonel, on coming on parade, noticed the animal. "Whdse "dog It that?" he inquired of a man on fatigue duty. "I dunno, sir." Suddenly the cur took to Its heels nnd bolted frantically out of the square. "Whatever'e the matter with the animal?" remarked the colonel again. "I expect as how he smelt tlons, sir," said Tommy, with a sly nmile, and the colonel passed on.— Scottish Leader. •- THE COLUMBIAN. BLOOMSBURG. PA. VAGARIES OF LEARNING. Eomo Funny Auxwerx Found 'on Fx umiiiutloii 1' up c r. A certain schoolteacher, whose sense of humor is developed to a remarkable degree, goes to the trouble occasionally of writing down for her own use some of the funniest answers which sh e finds in her examination papers. By espec ial favor a Syracuse Poet writer was al lowed to use a few. Here they are: "The stomach is the most diluted portion of the elementary canal." "Hygiene is all that you can tell about that which is -asked." "The doctrine of evolution began with the beginning of life, and grew higher and higher, until it regenerated into monkey. This process was slow so slow that neither the monkey noi the man knew anything about it." "A gerb is a name applied to a par ticular particle, tiny subbacterial or ganism, which, when demonstrated, causes disease." "A germ is a tiny insect or bug some times found in diseases or organs, that is why diseases are contagious. It is so small that it can be seen only with a telescope. Then it appears like the head or a pin but it goes iioating around into the atmosphere." "Habeus corpus means you may have the head and I will take the body." "Queen Elizabeth's reign was the reign of posterity." "The germ theory of diseases is con tinually floating around in the air, and is very dangerous, especially when the atmosphere is unwholesome." "William Pitt, the second son of the Earl of Chatham, Premier of England, entered life at a very early age, which office he held at a very early period in life, the time when most men are just completing a professional education." "A dowager is a widow without joints." THE MERRY JESTER. Gordon: What's worrying you? Edwards: You know that girl—that Miss Wilbur—l met at the seashore? Gordon: Yes, I suppose she wants tc ignor the engagement now, doesn't she? Edwards: No, by George, she insists that she entered into it in good faith, and I haven't saved enough even to buy a dress suit. Curses on these funny men! —Chicago News. "A Pittsburg wcaian wants a divorce because her husband kicks when she goes through his pockets." "Probably he's' mad because she doesn't find anything."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. "Samson," urged one of his advisers "what's the use? Even if you should take that ass's jawbone and clean otil the whole Philistine army you nevei could make Bob lugersoll believe you did it." "Nevertheless," replied Samson, grasping the weapon more firmly, "this jaw will outlive Bob Ingersoll's jaw iD history." And a moment later he sailed into the enemy with the result now known to everybody.—Chicago Tribune. "As I came home in the shower," re marked Mr. Murry Hill, "I saw Miss Homewood out with her rainy day cos tume on." "Oh, tell me all about it," replied Mrs. Murry Hill, eagerly. "I am deeply interested in rainy day costumes." "Well, I can't tell you very much, for I noticed nothing especially except her heliotrope stockings." Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph. "This Klondike craze is going to help Boston immensely." "In what way?" "After those fellows have survived an Alaskan Winter they wont be afraid to tackle Boston girls."—Chicago Record. "That was your little boy I saw you walking with yesterday, wasn't it?" "No, that was my little girl." "Then the person with the spectacles was your eldest daughter?" "No, that was my husband." —Cleve- land Plain Dealer. Boarder: This chicken soup seems to be rather weak. Landlady: I don't see why; I told the cook how to make it, but perhaps she didn't catch the idea. Boarder: Perhaps she didn't catch the chicken. —Chicago News. He His Knees, A member of the House tells a story on Senator Mason concerning a lady who keeps a boarding house in Wash ington. The Senator boarded there for awhile, as did the Representatives. The lady belongs to one of the well-known churches, and is very punctual in her attendance on morning services. For this reason she insists that her boarders must be down early for breakfast Sun day morning. The Senator was not aware of this regulation and his first Sunday in the house came downstairs rather late. "You are not on time this morning. Senator," said the lady gently, but rather reprovingly. "No, Madam. I spent a half hour on my knees this morning." "That was very praiseworthy of you," Bpoke up the boarding mistress. "Hunting for a collar button that rolled upon the floor and jinder the bu. reau," declared the Senator, concluding his sentence. fie Isenrne<l. There is one man in Washington who declares that if he can hereafter obtain information in any other way he will not ask questions. He is employed In on e of the departments, and his duties consist mainly in ordering and buying furniture. While on his way to order n wire screen the other day, he met a > vendor of rat-traps and other contrlvi ances made of wire. As there are fev* places in the city where wire goods arp made, he thought he had found a new factory. Stopping the man, he asked: "Where did you get those traps?" "Made 'em. Where did you sup pose?" was the sullen reply. "Where did you learn wire-work lng?" M The rat-trap vendor looked at hH questioner sharply, and promptly rfl plied: ■ "Same place you did. Sing Sing." ■ The laugh of the bystanders stlfl dings in the inquisitive man's ears^l CURIOUS FACTS- It requires halt a day to sing the national hymn of China. Java ts a native Malay word signify ing "the land of nutmegs." A ton of oil has heen obtained from the tongue ot a single whale. Lake Michigan signifies in the native tongue "a weir for fish." The German Government proposes to try to grow potatoes in Africa. In only three cases out of ten the sight is equally good in each eye. Steel billiard balls and aluminum wall paper are the latest evolutions in trade. Connecticut in the Indian form was Quinnitukut, meaning "the coun try of the long river." Marseilies has a 107 year-old woman who still earns her living by keeping a newspaper kiosk. Twelve million silk hats are made annually in the United Kingdom, worth five million pounds. Egypt expresses the Hebrew for "the land of oppression," alluding to the bondage of the Israelites. Africa traces its origin to the Phcenician afer, a black man, and the Sanskrit ac, the earth, a country. Russia possesses at least one luxury, in a breed of dogs which are said to be naturally quite unable to bark. The dedication of the Grant Monu ment drew to New York the greatest crowd which the city had ever seen assembled. Liszt's great skill with the piano was in part due to his immense indus try. For years he practiced ten hours a day. The highest masts of sailing vessels are from 160 to 180 feet high, and spread from 60,000 to 100,000 square feet of canvas. The Prince of Wales, it is stated, will not be represented at all in the racing world next season. Captain Carter, who sailed the Britannia, has received a letter from the Prince in timating that his services will not be required next season. Seekers after gold are often disap pointed. Seekers after health take Hood's Sarsaparilla and find it meets every expectation. Spring Trade Shows an Early Activity. Big Output of Pig Iron, Wool and Wheat Strong and Business Large. R. G. Dun & Co's weekly review of trade says : "Business is pushing toward spring activity rather early. Events which have controlled are good buying of iron by the largest makers, the rise in cotton, with strength in goods, the great railway consolidation and the Cuban insurrection. The output of pig iron February i was 229,823 tons weekly, the largest in the history of the business, but the reported buying of 130,000 tons Bessemer iron by the Carnegie com pany and 100.000 by another of the largest steel concerns, nevertheless means decision by the ablest manufac turers that the unprecedented outpu* on pig will soon prove too small for the growing demand for finished pro ducts. Wool sales at the chief cities were only 5,303,200 pounds for the week, and 11,664,600 for two weeks, against 22,721,600 last year. Prices are still strong in spite of the general indiffer ence of manufacturers who seem to have secured ample supplies. For the better grades of woolen goods an advance averaging 17.5 per cent, from last year is readily maintained. The opening of works idle for years, in spite of the heavy production already assured, is a striking feature in this, as in the iron and other industries, and implies heavier demands for pro ducts than are now met by the un precedented output. Wheat has been strong, with spot advancing two cents and May 2fc. Business shown by bank clearings is again larger than ever before, 54.7 per cent, larger than last year for the week and for the month to date 44.3 per cent, larger than last year and t6.6 per cent, larger than in 1892. Failures for the week have been 295 in the United States against 267 last year, and forty-three in Canada against sixty-one last year." Actors, Singers, Speakers a Thousands of acton, pnbllo entertainers, singers, lectur ers, preachers and readers are tormented with throat V wenkness. These delicate organs being overtaxed bo come r.usceptlblc to head uT* trr- colds, Ir.fluensa, hoarsen ess, f. tickling in tho throat, sneez r 'll 1 Ml ing. dropping 111 the throat, pain over the eyes, dry 1 A - * tf 'pZ throat, etc.; all these are forerunners of Catarrh, As hma, Tonsllltls, and are but stepping stones to me re serious complications If neglected. DR. AGNEWB CATARRHAL POWDER la powerful, pain less, harmless undquick-aotlng, and will cure all such troubles—relieves In zo minutes. u I can but proclaim Dr. Agnew's Catarrhal Pow der a wonderful medicine, particularly for r.lngcrs public speakers. Myself and wife were both of Tonsllltls and Catarrh, p;hl nover found Ingtoeoual thisgrea* -emedy .uroulek action |rutlve qualities—lt * a wonder worker. 1 m recommend it to my brother professionals." Fosu.ll, Astor, New York City.—4 R by C. A. Kleim. "A perfect type of the highest order of excellence In mannfactarc." M Walter Baker & Co.'s IfpREAKFAST COCOAg "vl IS '' l i n Absolutely Pure —Delicious Nutritious. "M US I ' Pi Costs Less than One Cent a Cup. Be sure that you fret the DORCHESTER, MASS. r genuine article, made at ■ Established ....8y.... S '7 8 °- WALTER BAKER & CO. Ltd. THE HOLIDAY SEASON. For Christmas, 1807, we have a large line of goods suit able for gifts to gentlemen. It includes Meerchaum Pipes, Beautiful designs in great variety. Meerchaum Cigar Holders, Briarwood Pipes, Cigars, fine grades, in boxes of 25, 50 and 100 We also have a large assortment ot CONFECTIONERY in nice boxes and in bulk. Sunday Schools preparing for Christmas festivals should get our prices. ALEXANDER BROTHERS & CO. t Bloomsburg Pa. IF YOU ARE IN NEED OF CARPET, lATTIICi, ill' OIL CLOTH, you WILL FIND A NICE LINE AT W. ®, iBMDWEI'S 2nd Door above Court House. A large lot of Window Curtains in stock. : m A YEAR FOR—• SI.OO sr L R v EsT,s The subscription price of DEMOREST'S A *7IVTCJ is reduced to SI.OO a year. il AvJ I IN tl. DBMOREST'S FAMILY MAGAZINE IS MORE THAN A FASHION MAGAZINE, although gives the very latest home and foreign fashions each month ; this is only one of its many valuable features. It has something for each member of the family, for every department of the household, and its varied contents are of the highest grade, making it, pre-eminently. THE FAMILY MAGAZINE OF THE WORLD. It furnishes the best thoughts of the most in teresting and most progressive writers of the day, and is abreast of the times in everything, —Art, Literature, Science, Society Affairs, Fiction, Household Matters, Sports, etc, —a single* number frequently containing from 200 to 300 fine engravings, making it the MOST COMPLETE AND MOST PROFUSELY ILLUSTRATED of the GREAT MONTHLIES. DEMOREST'S MAGAZINE Fashion Department is in every way far ahead of that con tained in any other publication. Subscribers are entitled each month to patterns of the latest fashions in womans' attir AT NO COST TO THEM other than that necessary for postage and wrapping, NO BETTER CHRISTMAS GIFT than a year's subscription to DEMOREST'S MAGAZINE can be made. By subscribing AT ONCE you can get the magazine at the reduced price, and will also receive the handsome 25-cent Xroas Number with its beautiful panel picture supplement. Remit f I 00 by money order, registered letter or check to the DEMOREST PUBLISHING CO., 110 Fifth Ave., N. Y. City. GREAT SPECIAL CLUBBING OFFER FOR PROMPT SUBSCRIPTIONS. r ONLY *1.75 FOR THE COLUMBIAN I \ and Demorest's Family Magazine. j I Send your subscriptions to this office. ) Eats a Goose Every Day- Charles Wurz, of South Bend, Ind., undertook three weeks ago to eat a goose a day until he put away thirty geese. He has already disposed of twenty-three geese. If he eats the remaining seven in seven days he will win S2OO. If he fails he will lose a like amount to Charles Rose. By the terms of the wager Wurz is allowed twenty-four hours for each bird. The geese, after being picked and cleaned, must weigh not less than six nor more than seven pounds. The eating must be done in the presence of appointed witnesses, fellow mem bers of an Elk lodge. Rose furnishes the geese. The breast is boiled, the wings and the legs are fried and the back i$ roasted brown. All, including the gizzard, must be eaten. An Opportunity You Now Have of testing the curative effects of Ely's Cream Balm, the most positive cure for Catarrh known. Ask your drug gist tor a 10 cent trial size or send 10 cents, we will mail it. Full size S oc - ELY BROS., 56 Warren St., N. Y. City. My son was afflicted with catarth. I induced him to try Ely's Cream Balm, and the disagreeable catarrhal smell all left him. He appears as well as any one.—J. C. Olmstead, Areola, 111. Almost Buried Alive- John Connors, of Hazleton, was buried alive tor three hours in the Ebervale mine. He was making a place for a set of timbers when a heavy fall of top rock occurred which buried him under tons of debris. His fellow workmen set to work at once and after three hours rescued the un fortunate man. Luetgert Found Uuilty. The Jury Fixed the Penally al Life Imprison ment. The jury in the case of Adolph Luetgert, at Chicago, tried for mur dering his wife and boiling her remains in a sausage vat, last Thursday render ed a verdict of guilty and fixed the penalty at life imprisonment. This wa* Luetgert's second trial, the jury having disagreed in the first case. AWFUL EXPERIENCE WITH HEART DISEASE.— That Dr. Agnew's Cure for the Heart works like magic, and cures is proven by the testimony of Mr. L. J. Law, Toronto, Can. "I was so sorely troubled with heart disease that I was unable for 18 months to he down in bed lest I smother. After / taking one dose of Dr. Agnew's Heart Cure, I retired and slept soundly. I used one bottle and the trouble has not returned.— 5. Sold by C. A. Kleim. Important Pension Decision- M Among the' pension decisions ren dered by Assistant Secretary of the V J Interior Davis, was a case of consider- j able importance affecting the right to I■ pension widows under the act of June ' f 27, 1890. The claim is that of Luella. M., widow of Nathan A. Sisson, late sergeant, of Company A, Second Rhode Island Volunteer Infantry. In his decision the Assistant Secretary points out that the woman's own real and personal property is worjjt al?out $9,900 and says that it is manifest that she is not without means of sup port that her dai'.y labor—a condition necessary in order to obtain pensions under the act of June, 1890. OASTOHIA. * The to- The Kind Ym Have Always BoqgM.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers