THE COLUMBIAN. BLOOMSBURG, PA. l&R I PALE OF HAY. A Part ol San Francisco Wai Onct Sold at a Very Low Price. " I was ofl'erctl all of Telegraph hill from IWel! street to the bay for a bottle of whiskey in 1845," said Adam Srh.ir-ffcr recently as he waited at the new city hnll for the ambulance to take him to tiic alms house, " and I told the nidi v.I.o wanted to make the bargain to ,0 to the devil." As Adam Sh-offer sat waiting fcr the ambu'-ncc ;,c was the typical pic ture of the older-1 inhabitant. He was 73 years old on the 5th of this month. He had been only a few weeks in f.';m Francisco, having traveled ail ll.e way from Arizona to find a place whijre he could pass the remainder of h:-, days. Schacffer is penniless, lie has no money and no friends. His only properties on earth are the Gold Cup and Queen Victoria silver mines on the border line be tween Nevada and Arizona territory, but he was forced to abandon them when the silver question became an important factor of finance. "That kilW..me,'' said the old man. " If ever '.his money question is settled ;;nd silver is worth its full value again, I will make money. Once I was paying 68 men $3 a day each to work for mc. Now I have to go to the almshouse because I have no food." Schacffer was born in Lancashire, Pa. and was one of the first men to set foot in Verba Buena. He says he was once offered the lot on which the Palace hotel stands for $58 by a Mexican, but he refused the offer. He bought the new city hall site and fc number of adjacent lots for $407. and when he told his friends of the purchase they laughed at him. "Every one called me a fool," said Schaeffer, "but I insisted that I had made a ord Vanjain. On the day following t'.': s'1 I was made fun of by every one who met me, and my friends ca'.Ld iv.c the 'sand dune fool.' On the second day their taunts be came so uahcrr-.iile that I could stand them no loncer. so 1 sold the property to a man who had just come to town for $500. When I told my friends .low easilv I Vd iv-tde $97, they told me that 1 had " id of a worthless piece of property very easily. "An interesting part of my first days in San Francisco was the trade that a Spaniard tried to make me for a bottle of whisky. He owned Telegraph hill, and I the whisky. The property in those days was known as Whisky hill,' and this Spaniard offer ed me all that land in exchange for my bottle of liquor. I told him that it was not worth it. He then asked me if I couldn't find some one who would make a trade, as he was anxious to get rid of the hill. I found a man named Becker and introduced him to the Spaniard. The Spaniard gave Becker 'Whisky hill' for a bale of hay." Schaeffer enlisted in the United Slates army and fought during the Mexican war. Then he went east and returned to Arizona. Several years of his life were spent in South Africa, but the Pacific coast always had a fascination for him, and so he returned here and began an active life as a miner. He made sufficient money in California to buy the Gold Cup and Queen Victoria, and in the full blast of ihcir prosperity and just as fortune was knocking at his door the silver panic, came and ruined him. San Francisco Examiner, There is more Catarrh in this sec tion of the country than all other diseases put together, and until the last few years was supposed to be incurable. For a great many years doctors pronounced it a local disease, and prescribed local remedies, and by constantly failing to cure with local treatment, pronounced it incurable. Science has proven catarrh to be a constitutional disease, and therefore requires constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio, is the only constitutional cure on the market. It is taken internally in doses from 1 o drops to a teaspoonful. It acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. They offer one hundred dollars for any case it fails to cure. Send for circulars and testimonials. Address, F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, O. Sold by druggists, 75 c. Hall's Family Pills are the best. 1 m. A dairyman in a neighboring county says he made more butter than usual the past winter by feeding his cows freely on potatoes, -which increased the quantity ot milk, while the quality of butter was first-class. He fed his cows the s.une quantity of gram that he always had. and gave them all the potatoes they would eat. He also gave them hay, but tucy did not eat half quantity of hay that they did befoie he commenced (ceding potatoes. He says he never had his stock winter better. Theological cinuy does not count for much wh.u compelled to wiestle with a bulky lnvcle. 1 he bilent two-wheclc-i ste: 1 is no ler-j.et loi of persons. A PROFITABLE ANIMAL. How the Shrewd Mat Ire Out tOS (or 10 Mai. Our train had pulled In on a elding to Walt for a wreck on the roo4 to be cleared away, and a number of men got down from the coache and walked up and down the long platform attneh fed to the freight shed. Opposite this Bhed, on the other Blle of the highway, Vaa a dense wood. V4 hnd been Idling around for a quarter of an hour when suddenly snme one (Uncovered a beer bottle swinging to a limb. He out with Ms gun ntid began blazing away at It, nnd his example was followed by every other innn In tho crowd who was "heel ed." We had fired lifty bullets at the bottle and it was stl.l untouched, when there wai a yell from the bushes and a native came crawling out on his hands nnd knees to exclaim: "What hev I done that you all want to kilt me?" "Good gracious, mnn, were you In there?" shouted one of the crowd. "Right In thar', stranger, and seemed .to me the wah had come bock. I didn't git hit, but yo' hev dun killed my mewl. I reckon." We ran over with him, and surs enough there was his mule, down on his back and kicking his last, with four or Ave bullets In him. "Yo' dun didn't mean to, of co'se," said the owner, "but this ar' mewl was all I had. I don't say he was wuth what a prime mewl orter fetch, but I oould hev gold him fur (50." He was Informed that we would mak up a purse to pay the damages and we chipped in and made It f65. He took the money and disappeared soon after and had a long start, when a second native appeared and asked: "Bin any shutln' yereT" J m "Yes." "Shute at that ar' bottlef sWL "Kill a mewl?" V ASJfr "Yes." ( .""' "Pay for him?" ' "Yes. Do you know anything about It?" "No, not much. I sold the animal to Bill Wheczen 'bout an hour ago fur $10 and I sorter reckon he wanted him to play the old dodge with. How much did you raise?" "Sixty-five dollars." "Wall, that's pnrty moderate. He rr'.nernlly striken 'em for a hundred, unU you got oft eaay. Reckon I'll look him up and see If he can't work In a couple more this week!" Detroit Free Press. Col. Vordjree'i Komnnce. When Senator Mills delivered his great speech on Cuba in tUe Senate, a speech described by that competent crltio, Sen tor Morgan, of Alabama, as "majestic and splendid and brilliant oratory," he related an Incident that called cheers from the galleries and aroused deep Interest on the floor of the' Senate. Mr. Mills was describing the cruelty of the Spaniards and their habitual murder and violation of wo men. Then he drew this contrast: "Mr. President, while thinking of the slaughter of this girl, who attempted to save her father, there comes up In my mind the recollection of an Incident that occurred In Alabama during our olvil war. A Colonel of an Ohio regi ment was In command of a district In North Alabama, within whose lines tho family of a Confederate officer resided. Sometimes the bold rebel would slip through the lines, undiscovered, and visit his family. On one occasion he was discovered by some one more de voted to the Union than to his personal welfare. Information was given to the Colonel commanding the district, who took a half dozen of his men and under cover of night went to the house to cap ture his Confederate foeman. Arriving at the house he rushed In the door pis tol In hand and found the Confederate soldier in the midst of his family, his pistol and belt lying upon the bureau and within reach of his daughter, a beautiful girl of eighteen summers. In an Instant she grasped her father's pistol to shoot in defense of her father's person. The Colonel sprang forward, seized the pistol in her hand to disarm her. Not being a Spaniard, it never en tered his mind to shoot her. In the etruggle her pistol fired and she was shot through the hand, but her father succeeded In making his escape. The gallant officer returned In a few days to see about that wounded hand. He came again to express his profound re grets for that wound and again and again to hope for Us early recovery. He did not stop coming till he carried that hand off with him, clasped In his. It is his hand now and has been for thirty years. Around that family hearthstone there stands a group of noblo sons, half Yankee, half Southern, but all American. We did not shoot women and children. We did not shoot prisoners In our great civil war." Soon after the Senator concluded his speech I met him and Inquired regard ing the identity of the Ohio Colonel and the fair Alabama Confederate. He told me he referred to an Incident In the lives of Col. S. W. Pordyce and his accomplished wife. Col. Fordyce Is the president of the 8t. Louis Southwestern Railroad and Is known and loved from the lakes to the Gulf. St, Louis Re public. The Shith'a Poetry, The Shah of Persia shares tha com mon weakness of nearly all sovereigns In cherishing the delusion that he would excel In other fields if destiny hod not called him to the throne. The Shah's particular fad Is poetry. Not long ago he Invited one of the famous rhymstera of his kingdom to the palace and hon ored hlin by rending some of the royal poetical effusions. Upon His Majesty Inquiring what he thought of them the old poet, with more frankness than cau tion, told him that they were without rhyme, reason or sense. Whereupon the Shah flew Into a rage, had the poet taken to a stable and flogged. A few days latur the old man was again sum moned into the presence of the Shah, who spoke kindly to him and proceeded to read more verses. After the Shah had finished the aged critic rose up and started in the direction of the sta ble without a word. "Where are you going?" exclaimed .the Shah. "Biro, they aro no better than n last. I go to the stables for ai.tlv r MYfcii'ug." The Rhnh burst Into a l"Ud 'nuiili und ha tlnce retained the old feiiow an a member of his house- A (JAMB OF BEB-8AW. Husband and Wlf Kept Apart by the la nocent Klevntor Mnn. 'A well-dressed woman walked Into the Crocker building one afternoon and took an elevator. Her husband saw her from across the street, and, hurry ing over, took the next elevator. He went to the office where he knew his wife hnd business and found that she had stepped In and out and prone down In the next elevator. The eleTator dis patcher said to her: "Your husband Just went up in th elevator. I think he Is looking for you." The lady took the next elevator up. Jupt then hev husband caane down. He looked all around, and then Inquired of the elevator man: "Have you seen my wife here?" "Yes, she Just went UP this moment." The man took the next elevator and he was no more than out of eight when his wife came down again. "Your hURband has Just gone up again." said the elevator man, "I guess he'll wait for me this time, so I'll go up." And up she wont. Down came the husband a second afterward. "Did my wife come down again?" he Inquired. "Yes, and Just went up again. She thought you would wait for her." "Well, 1 11 wait here." He waited about five minutes, and then, growing Impatient, took an ele vator up-stftlrs. She had been waiting for him and came down again Just as he disappeared. "Well, I will wait for him and catch him this time," she said. After standing In the corridor sev eral minutes she decided to go up-stalrs and find him. As Bhe was whisked out of sight he stepped out of another ele vator. "Your wife has Just gone up," saM the elevator man. The husband swore a little under his breath and started to leave the build ing. At the door he hesitated, changed his mind, and took the next elevator up. Down catnt his wife at the same moment "He's Just gone up again." was the elevator man'B answer to her weary look of Inquiry, "and he's as mod as a hornet." "Then I had better go right up and catch him," she said. Up she went and down he came. "Just went up," remarked the elevator man. ' , "I'm darned if I'm going up again," said he; "I'll wait right here," and he sot down on the Btalrs. Half on hour later he was still sitting there, and his wife, equally determined, was waiting upstairs, San Francisco Post. JIow Kdlson Learnr-t to Tell Stories. 'It seemed like a waste of time," said a gentleman who passed an evening with Mr. Edison, In Norwalk, O., recent ly, "to hear Mr. Edison rolling off story after story, and demanding of all his acquaintances to tell him more, when we knew how much Information we might have received from him. I final ly asked him how he got to be such a story teller. 'Well,' he replied, 'when I was quite a young man I was a tele graph operator during the war. I was stationed at St. Louis, which was a sort of distributing point for a large dis trict, and when we would get our batch of stuff off,, and we still had several hours to put In, I used to get pretty tired. Then we would begin to call up the operator at the other end of the Und and gosBip with him. I always liked stories, and If Chicago had a good one he would wire It to me. Then 1 would send that off to Louisville and New York and Cincinnati, and hear them laugh over it by wiring back, 'Ha, ha,1 ovtr the wire. In this way we would get all the best stories there were go ing, and we would always write them out for the day men. It got to be a sort of passion after a while, and has stuck lo me ever since." " Cleveland Plain dealer. Hadn't JK'nerveil It "What are you moping about, Hi ram?" asked his wife. "Jane," replied the West Side oltizen, who had been sitting moodily by his fireside half an hour or more without saying anything, "are there any ugly stories In circulation about me?" "I don't know of any," said his wife. "What are you asking me that for?" "Have I got any enemies among the neighbors?" "None that I have heard of. Why?" "Do I ever get drunk and go howl ing and cavorting around town?" "Not to my knowledge. What on earth are you driving at?" "Never knew of my selling whiskey, or keeping a gambling shop, or Betting up for a prize fighter, did you?" "No. Why " ' "Haven't I always attended to my own business and behaved myself like a good citizen, so far as you know?" ' "Of course. And npw I want to know ,why you are carrying on In this way?" "Jane," he groaned, "they are talking of running me for Alderman!" And he relapsed Into gloomy silence again. Chicago Tribune. ,u Why Titers Was No Fight. I overheard the following conversa tion on a Market street car yesterday between a couple of young men: "I told you that fellow Moore was a Bcoundrel," declared one, "and I told him so yesterday." "You did?" And the other com menced looking his frlendrover for evi dences of a eonfllot. "What did he Bay ?" "Oh, I didn't listen to him. I told him he was a liar, a thief and a scoundrel, and that I would punch his nose If he Bald a word to me." "What did he do?" ' " ' "Nothing; he Is a coward." "I don't believe thaU I have seen him fight at the drop of the hat. Didn't he say a word back?" "I don't know; I hung up the tele phone." San Francisco I'ost, The New Womnu Ui Maine. The new woman made a good show ing In the election at Tremont, Me., a few days ago. In several towns In Maine this year there were women candidates for places on the school boards, and In most cases they were not encouraged strongly. But In Tre mont, though party lines were drawn closely In the case of other candidates, all united to ekot the woman member of the school board, and she went In at the head of, Ui9 poll- New York Sun. CRUDB DNTISTHY. The Process Wit Painful, Tint the Resnlt Wat At'slned. "Whlfe traveling 1 1 Southern Geor gia a few months &no," ald Attorney W. W. McNalr, "I saw a beautiful piece of dental surgery. A teamster devel oped a toothache while pn the road. He thought It would soon be better, but It kept getting worse and worse, till he could hardly handle the reins. He put a char of tobacco on It, but It only Jumped the harder. Then he stopped his team, built a Hale fire, heated a needle red-hot, and had another team ster Jam It down Into the cavity to kill the nerve. Still It Ju nped and thump ed till the roor fellow was pretty near Insane. " 'Boys, she's got to come out,' he shouted to his companions, as he pulled up his team. "They all stopped, wound their lines around their brakes and climbed down. " 'How can we get her out?' asked one of them. " 'I don't know groaned the victim, 'but she's got to come. "He opened the Jockey box on his seat and rummaged around In it, Anal ly producing a small hatchet and a big nail. " "I guess you'll have to drive her out with this.' said he, and he sat down on the ground and hung on to a buckeye bush with both hands, while one of his companions placed the end of the nail against the side of the tooth and bit with the hatchet. The first lick made the teamster Jump and yell, but he set tled down for another one. The second stroke loosened It up, and after a lot of groaning the teamster wiped the per spiration off his face, climbed onto the buckeye and said: " 'Hit her again, boys.' "The third lick sent the offending molar flying." San Francisco Post. Bhe Stopped the Avalanche. "Back for your life, turn back!" So called the old mountaineer to the young woman , sauntering along the mountain trail utterly unconscious of danger, but he was bo far away that his voice could not reach her, "The avalanche she Is doomed!" he shouted as his face grew deathly pale and he waved his arms about. The maiden kept right on walking. She was out for a atroll and to view the wild and rugged scenery, and no one had posted her as to avalanches. Information about avalanches ought to have been Included In the hotel charges of 14 per day, but It was not. It stop ped short at trout Ashing. "Nothing can save her!" gasped the mountaineer as he shaded his eyes with his hand. "An avalanche Is Just ready to come crashing down that mountain Bide, and yet that girl has no premoni tion of danger. Hello! Hello! you girl with the red hat on turn back and run lor your life!" Helen Du Bola halted and looked up, and for a moment the mountaineer be lieved that she had caught his words. Then she strolled on again. She had simply halted for an Instant to read the sign of somebody's sarsaparllla painted on a rock. "There It comes and her doom Is seal ed. See, she stops! She looks up. She realizes her danger now, but It Is too, too late!" He turned his head away that he might not witness the tragedy, but he didn't know the girl down there. He thought she was from Chicago, Cincin nati, St. Louis or Buffalo, but he was mistaken. She was from New York city, and had practiced the art of stop ping a Broadway cable car till she nev er made a miss. She saw the avalanche start f.aw It gather bulk and momen tum felt the stones beside her rocking In their beds, and then she struck an attitude, lifted her hand and gave It a flourish and bobbed her head, and the car stopped. That Is, the avalanche came to such a sudden halt that both hold-back straps were broken and the hind wheels badly dished. It was a trifle larger than a cable car, but It had to stop. She leisurely turned on her heel, retraced her steps for a few rods, and then waved her hand for the ava lanche to descend. It thundered down, but she was safe. The mountaineer looked down on her In speechless amazement. It was only when she was hidden by a bend In the trail that he straightened up, shook himself and softly whispered: "Wall, by-gum!" Detroit Free Press. Why Bhe Was In the Hmnker. A handsome woman, perfectly dress ed, entered the library buffet smoking car on the Union Paclflo overland lim ited the other morning after leaving Omaha, said an old traveler at the Coatee last night. The gentlemen on 'the car supposed she intended to pass through. Half way down the aisle she dropped Into one of the handsome cane seated chairs. A gentleman who occu pied the seat behind her leaned for ward and touched her on. the shoulder. " beg pardon," he said, "but this car Is for the accommodation of Bmokers only." "Thank you," she replied, "I thought 80." Then she calmly produced a dain ty cigarette cose and a box of wax matches, and in a moment more was smoking with all the oalm enjoyment of a man. There was a flutter of amuse ment through the car; smiles, grins, Botto voce remarks, and curious glances In her direction, but B-he was so serene ly unconscious of It all, and so thor oughly self-possessed, that It was soon forgotten for the morning papers and magazines which Bhe monopolized, Just the same as the gentlemen smokers. After leaving South Omaha the train conductor entered, the car, and, not noticing that the lady held a cigarette between her fingers, said: "Madam, this is no place for ladle." "Indeed," Bhe replied. "Is this not the library buffet smoker for the ac commodation of passengers of this train?" "Yes, madam." "Well, I am smoking. That Is why 1 am here." Kansas City Times. Ilre Threat. "See here, Muggsey, don't you gimme no guff. I'll hit you in U back of de neck." "Bo Jist like you to git behind a felloi and " "Naw, I won't git bohlnfl you, nelder. I'll Jlst stand In front o' you an' poke me flat clean t'roo." Cincinnati En quirer. . ., . . "A' Scorcher'."- '$ Tobacco Dealers' say7 that "BATTLE AX" is a "scorcher" because it sells so Chewers sayr-it is cause 5 Cents worth goes so far. It's as good as can be made regardless of cost. The 5 cent piece is almost as large as the other fellows' 0 cent piece. Mutual Reserve Fond IS Asstciak Edward B. Harper, Founder. Frederick A. Eurr.ham, President FIFTEEN YEARS COMPLETED ANNUAL MEETING AND REPORT. lbs hrgsst d liwi H him Uh b;;r,:;'C;:- panies in the WorH. $69,000,000 of New nnslne hh in 189s. t.to8,66o,ooo of UuaiMCHft til force. 4,084,073 ol Itcatli ciitlniM paid In 1805. ti,ooo,voo of Ocatti ClalniM paid atuce IiutlutJSbeKUU. 1895 SHOWS At INCHIUHK ITS CiTCOSM AHMIvTH, a is inchf.as:: us isi;r ni-ki'lih, at inchi' ahk its incohic. ais incki;asi: in hi hitsi-:ss its fohck, OVKK 105, boo MiaiUHHS lISXliUlCSTIilf. The Annual Meeting of the Mutual Reserve Fund Life Associatiou was held in the Astsoeiatiou'a Building, covuci Broadway &Duane St., New York City, on "Wednesday, Jan uary 22nd, and was attended hy a large and representative gathering of policy holders who listened with keen interest to the masterly Annual Report of President Burnharu. Many policy holders evidently regarded this as a favorable opportunity to meet face to face the new chief executive officer of the Association, President Frederick A. Burnham, the man whose grasp of life insurance, whose keen executive ability and strong individuality have euabled him to take up the work laid dewu in death by the founder of tho institution, the late Ed ward B. Harper, and make of the administration of his office of President, not an echo or copy of that of his predecessor, huts piece of finished work, characteristic of a man of independent views, and worthy to follow the work which had carried the Association to a position never attained in the same length ot time by any life insurance organization in the world. Tt is rare, indeed, that a great institution like this passes, without check to its prosperity, through a change in the executive chief, for it is rare indeed that a chief like the late Mr. Harper find' so able a successor as President Burnham. '"! The record of the year 180o speaks for itself, and shows the following gratifying results. The GROSS ASSETS have increased during the year from $5,530,115.99 to $5,601,707,82. The NET SURPLUS over liabilities shows a NET GAIN for the year of $300,329.43, and now amounts to $3,582,500.32. The INCOME from all sources shows a gain for the year of $031,541.97, and amounts to $5,575,281.50. DEATH CLAIMS to the amount of $4,084,074.92 were paid during the year, an increase over the previous year of $1,013,500.91. , The BUSINESS IN FORCE shows a gain for the jear of $15,293,205, and now amounts to 308,059,371. counting tnree hundred .idly average income for 1895 n-., . , ,.,.o,-..V i , . lce' nn nency- O' any other informali 1 UAL ktStKV L 1- UND LIFE ASSOCIATION mav nnnlv to B B WB WIG, Sank, 53 Oowninir ISlock. 7 The Pot Called Because the Didn't fast. Tobacco a "scorcher" be working days in the year tne is 18,584.27; the daily average IRfflSK. PA ...iwm the Kettle Black Housewife . Use m
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers