HE'S A un UK. Anrlmt Origin of a Phrait of Popnlnr t ommr mint Ion. riut-nrch, in his life of Affpsilnus, king of Sparta. Rives us the origin of tlio quaint and familiar suying. On a certain occa nion an aiubaxMhlor from Epirua, on the diplomatic mission, wa shown by the king over his capital. The ambassador knew of the monarch's fame know that though only nominally king of Sjwirta, he was ruler of Greece and he looked to see massive walls rearing aloft their embattled towers for the defense of tho town, but found nothing of the kind, lie marveled much at this, and spoke of it to the king. "Sire," he said, "I have visited most of the principal towns, and I find no walls reared in defense. Why is this?" "Indeed, Sir Ambassador," replied Agesilaus, " thou cans't not have looked carefully. Come with me to-morrow morning and I will show you tho walls of Sparta. " Accordingly, on the following morning, the king led his guest out upon the plain where his army was drawn up iu full battle array, and pointing proudly to the eoried boats, he said : "There thou beholdest tho walls of (Sparta 10,01)0 men, and every man a brick T Detroit Free rress. Gtrnnlnme. There Is nothing letter adapted to pot culture or for bedding out than the gera nium. It requires but little care, is not sensitive to atmospheric changes nor troubled with insects. The list of good geraniums Is a long one ; we can hardly miss it. To select from the many catalogues extant, hero are, however, a few that are extra Hue for pots or beds. ' Single varieties : Queen of the Belgians, New Life, Mrs. Windsor, Sam Sloan, Leon Perault, F. L. Voith, and Brides maid. Double varieties: Blanche Perfecta, Gloire do France, Black Knight, Oillion Mangilli, Golden Dawn, and Naomi. The Ivy Geraniums are also fine for bedding. They rro really much finer than when grown in pota. F. J. von Hohenzollcra, Mms. Thibaut, nud Joan of Arc are three very beautiful varieties. Geraniums delight in a sandy, mellow soil, only moderately rich. If too rich, their tendency will be to produce lux uriant foliage and but few flowers. Whenever the leaves of geraniums turn yellow or pale we may know the soil in which they are growing is exhausted, and at such times wo may safely give them weak liquid manure once a week. Don't spray your plants when the sun is shining directly upon them, if you want the foliage to look nice. Before or after sunrise is tho best time to water plants in the ground. English Spelling. Some compositor, disgusted with the inconsistencies of English orthography, has been at the pains to construct the following elaborate travesty, which ap pears in the Printer' Album. The in genious reader can lengthen it at his own pleasure. Know won knead weight two bee tolled the weigh too dew sew : A right suite little buoy, the sun of a grate kernel, with a rough around his neck, flue up tho rode as quick as a dear. After a thyme he stopped at a gnu house and wrung the belle. His tow hurt hymn, and he kneaded wrest. He was two tired to raze his fare, pail face. A feint mown of pane rows from his lips. The made who herd the bello was about to pair a pare, but she through it down ami ran with awl her mite, for fear her guessed wood knot weight. But when she saw the little won, 'tiers stood in her ayes at tho site. "Ewe poor deer ! Why dew you lye bear ? Are yew dyeing 1 " "Know," he said, "1 am feint." She boar hymn inn her arms, as she aught, to a rheum where he might bee quiet, gave him bred and meet, held a cent bottle under his knows, untide his choler, rapped hymn up warmly, gave him a suite drachm from a viol, till at last he went fourth as hail as a young hoarse. The United States Hall. When Dr. Franklin was the Post master General of the American Colonies the entire accounts of his office were kept in one book and not a very large book either. The Postmaster General now has a larger force of men under him i than there are in the combined Army and Navy of the United States. The i postoftice is not, never was, and is not intended to be, a source of profitable revenue to the Government. Whenever the receipts exceed the expenses, the postage will be reduced in tho interests of the public. The reduction from 8 to 2 cents caused a loss to the Government of $2,848,839.00 in one year, but the im mense increase in correspondence will make up that immediate loss, and we may expect at no distant day to have a 1 cent lotter postage. E. L, Didier, in the Chautauquan. A Moment With ASaop. THE WOLF AND THE LAMB. A Wolf and a Lamb were drinking out of the same mining Stream, when the Wolf angrily blurted out : "I fay, youl You are Roiling the Mud all up. " " Let her roil, " returned the Lamb non chalantly. Whereupon tho Wolf Leaped across the btream anil fell upon the Lamb, Tho Fierce Creature had hardly attempt ed to Tear the Lamb's Shoulder, however, Derore his Teeth broke off Short and fell to the Ground. "Bah!" said the Lamb j "what a Fool you are to try your Fangs on a Hardened old Tough like myself! Cun't you Sea mat i am a spring Lamb?" Puck. Finding tha Proprietor. " Are you the proprietor ?" asked a vis itor of an important looking man. " No, sir. I'm the master painter. " "Is that the proprietor?" he continued. pointing to a man even more imposing in npiearance. "No, sir. He's the walking delegate, That little niau mixing paint in the cor ner is tho proprietor. "New York Ro VQtlit. CAFTAI CASTLE'S WHALE. The Thrllllne; Tale Tol.l by Him on the tan Franrleeo Kirhanaje. An interesting story is told in the Ex aminer of San Francisco of the adven ture had by the pilot boat Lady Mine, re cently. Tho boat, Captain Stove Castle, was lying becalmed about 10 mllps south west of the main Farallone. Not a ship was lu sight and the captain improved the opportunity to shift the schooner's canvas for her lighter summer suit. All hands were engaged on the work, and to secure more deck room the yawlboat used for boarding vessels was heaved over the side and made fast astern by six or eight fathoms of painter. The sea was fall of whales, lolling about on tha glassy surface, playing and blowing and emitting an unpleasant oily odor, as whales are wont to do when the sun is shining, the air is still, and the water smooth. Ore particularly big fel low of the finback variety, commonly called California g.aya, manifested much interest in the Lady Mine and came along side to investigate. The first notice of his approach was received from a tre mendous flock of small seabirds that skimmed along the surface, flying down to snatch their food of parasites every time the whale came to the surface. All the birds flew away when the big lish sounded a cable's Unglh from the Lady Mine, and the crew thought he had taken his departure. In this they were errone ours for in about two minutes the schooner set up a violont rocking, a hugo black bulk suddenly loomed upalongxido, there was a sound of escaping steam, and half the deck was wot with a cloud of ill smelling spray. It was an awful big whale for a fin back. It was longer than the Lady Mine, which measures 83 feet. When he came up he touched tha schooner, but did it very gently, not with a jar or a bump, but with a slow upheaval that simply shoved the vessel o!f sideways and careened her over a little until her round bottom slid off the monster's back. The whale appeared highly delighted, and repeated the per formance. For two hours ho was never 00 yards from the Lady Mine, and half the time when he was above water the crew could have touched hiiu by simply extending their hands over tho side. A dozen times he rubbed against her side, but always with the same gentleness that characterized his flint contact, and often his huge tin protruded above the rail as big as a boat sail. Ho was an old bull, and his back and head were literally covered with barna cles. It was to rid himself of these, that ho rubbed up against the boat the crew soon learned. Several times it looked very scary to see the terrible bulk rising swiftly from the depths of the clear water, but lie was considerate enough to always slacken speed just before strik ing, so that the contact amounted to no more than a gentle push. The crew did not mind the whale using the Lady Mine for a backscratcher as long as he continued good natured about it, but they did protest against the odor, and finally made an attempt to drive him away. The boatkeeper prodded him with a sharp pointed spinnaker boom just as he rose near the schooner's stern. Down he went like a flash, and in his flurry he brcatihed directly across the little yawl's painter, which was hanging slack a foot or so beneath the surface of the water. One of his flukes caught the line, aud as the several tons 'of blubber and whalemeat went down the yawl boat went too. The bow plunged under with a terrillo daeh, aud the oars and loose bottom boards of the boat flew for yards in all directions. The entire boat was lost to sight for over a minute, when it popped up like a cork, full of water, but right and tight and perfectly uninjured. The crew used garnished language, balled the boat out, gathered up the gear that strewed the surrounding ocean, and hauled the rescued cm ft aboard. The whale manifested no anger what ever, but returned in a few minutes as if nothing had happened. He rubbed off a couple or three more barnaeles as gently as before, flirted his monstrous tail con temptuously, and took his departure. He Had a Friend at Court. A laugh was raised in the United States district court by the testimony of John Boye, a resident of Lewiston, N. Y. Boye is old and somewhat deaf, and gave his testimony with an air of child like innocence. The following dialogue took place on crossoxaminatiou : "Did Kich ever sue you ?" "Yes." "Did he beat you?" "No." "He caused you trouble and expense?" "Yes. a little." "You had to liire a lawyer ?" "No." " Did he hire a lawyer ?" "Yes." "You did not have one?" "No." "Are you a pettifogger.'nnd try cases yourself sometimes ?" "No." "What did you do when you were sued, if you did not get a lawyer?" "I got the magistrate." The laugh that followed this reply In dicated that some of those present ap preciated the importance of having the favor of tho court. Utica Observer. A Oenerons Banker, A pretty anecdote comes from Brussels illustrating the generous spirit of a banker of that city. . The banker is fond of out door exercise. As an exhibition of his ikill in skating, he made bis autograph on the ice in a very artistic manner. Some gentlemen having admired the sig nature, proceeded to write above it as follows : "On demand I promise to pay for the benefit of the poor the sum of 0,000 francs. " They sawed out the block of ioe, and, having called a hack, proceeded to the bank and carried the frozen note of hand of foot, we mean to the cashlor's counter. The cold temperature happily prevented the melting away of the icy draft, and the banker having been ap pealed to, ordered it to be paid. Irish rimes. flow Central Amerlran Prralitrnte Get Itlrli. "No one who has not lived in Central America has any Idea of tho fortunes which the presidents of those potty re publics amass In a few years, " says it Guatemalan merchant. " You see, theso fellows are as complete dictators as Napoleon was in bis best days. They handle the public purse, and can lay out what they want, and cover into their own exchequer a very largo amount, which is put down on the books for public improvements and secret service work. There is no question that Barrios, who hadn't a dollar when ho secured the control of Guatemala, was worth when ho was killed at least ten millions. A 1 tout half of this amount was invested in New York property and in American Govern ment bonds, ho the widow was all right. His Guatemalan property, however, was seized by Barillas, his successor, under ono pretext or another. Barrios was un open handed dictator, who never minced words or concealed tho fact that ho would promptly remove any one who aspired to opose him. Barillas is equally cruel, hut ho always masks his work under due forms of law. He has stripped the country of large sums, and it is said he has several millions to his credit iu tho Bank of England, so that should he be suddenly unseated by a popular revo lution, he would have a competence for the remainder of his days. Barillas has also just played the shrewd game of mortgaging his valuable coffee plantation to a rich German syndicate for over two millions. With this mortgage on tho property, should he le driven into exile, his estates can not be confiscated, as the German minister would at once demand protection for the Interests of the mort gageee. Barillas has also sold the colTeo crop on his estates for three years, realiz ing the snug sum of $1,000,000 for it. Taking these two things together, it looks very much as though he fears defeat in tho struggle with Salvador next summer, and that he is raising all the money be can to be prejiared for flight. Tho legend of Damocles's sword is literally true of Central American presidents. " Ante-Nuptial Clnlie of Great Cities. "The club house in Gotham is an ante nuptial as well as a post-nuptial enemy of domesticity," declared a man about town to me the other day, nnd I believe he sMke tho truth. "There are, "he con tinued, "thousands of men on this island who know no other home than their clubs. If the matrons have a right to protest against their lords leing tix de voted to club life because they s)end a part of their time in such retreats, have not the maids a cause of action against nn institution that practically withdraws so many eligibles from the matrimonial market? Tho man who lives in a club, you know, is usually a man of some fortune and sufficient polish to make him what the world calls a catch ; but he is. in my opinion I am a married man, if I am one of tho boys a selfish egotist, deeply impressed with his own Impor tance, and he ought to bo suppressed in the interest of socioty. " I listened to the gentleman and pon dered what he had said in my heart, com paring his comments with a conversation I had with Colonel Jay L. Torrey, of St. Louis, on the same subject a year or two ago.' Colonel Torrey, who lives at tho Mercantile Club, declared that the serv ice was far superior to that of the best hotels, and that ono who had tried it never would go back to the old style of living. "The servants," said he, "study to please you, and they gratify your whims, while your clothes are as neatly kept as if you were a family man er haps more neatly in some cases. " The colonel did not tell me, however, by what process of reasoning he arrived at the con clusion that it was beneficial to a big, strapping he man to have his petty whims coddled, and he admitted that there would probably be more marriages in the church if there were fewer club houses ou the corner. New York Coiresiwudeuce St. Louis Globe-Democrat. One Oyster for Two, We laugh at the innocent young house wife who ordered "half a dozen halibut" for dinner. Had she lived in the South Pacific Inlands she might have been equally laughed at for ordering half a dozen oysters not to say a pint. The au thor of "Oysters, and All About Them" gives some examples that nearly match tho giant clams and abaloncs of the Cali fornia coast. Pliny mentions that, according to the historians of Alexander's expedition, oys ters a foot in diameter were found in the Indian Seas, and Sir James E, Tennent was unexpectedly enabled to corroborate the correctness of (his statement, for at Kottier, near Trincomaloe, enormous specimens of edible oysters were brought to the rest house. One measured more than 11 inches in length by half as many in width. But this extraordinary measurement is beaten by the oysters of Port Lincoln in South Australia, which are the largest edible ones in the world. They are as large as a dinner plate, and of much tha same shape. They are sometimes more than a foot across the shell, and the oys ter fits his habitation so well that he docs not leavo much margin. It is a new sensation when a friend asks you to lunch at Adelaide to have one oys ter fried in butter, or in eggs and bread crumbs, set before you ; but it is a very pleasant experience, for the flavor and delicacy of the' Port Lincoln mammoth are proverbial, even in that land of lux uries. -v Getting Down to Personalities. Mr. Blivius I see that Mr. Wana' maker contemplates improving the postal service. Mrs. Blivius I hope he has a scheme for facilitating the mailing of letters which wives give their husbands to pewt. Puck. From a meager salary as king, George, ruler of Greece, has saved $8,000,000, He has been very successful in bis specula' tions on the Paris and Berlin bourses. His "horse sense" in financial affairs is said to be due to tho "tips" of Baron Er langer, who was formerly president of LU Ea;t. StiutUeru Kailwey. MANOS, ORGANS ft SEWING MACHINES. J. SALTZER'S in With many years experience in and sewing machines I can guarantee to my customers the best in the markets Pianos and Organs purchased of me, can be relied upon. If anything get. out of order, it can easily be corrected, and a great deal of annoyance saved. Instructions given to all purchasers of successfully. The STECK PIANO is the best dj none. 1 ou mate no We hae also the ESTEY aud the STARR PIANOS, And The ESTEY, MILLER and UNITED STATES ORGANS. We sell Tianos from $250 to $600, and Organs from $75to $175. Iu Sewing Machines we can We sell the best Sewing Mach ine made for $19.50. CLOSING OUT GOLD PENS AND PEN CILS AT COST, at J". C3-. WELLS.' Bring Your Watcb, work to J. FKEE OF CHARGE J. COLUMBIAN BUILDING. a b. Bourns DEALER IN Foreign and Domestic WINES AND LIQUORS. Bloomsburq, Pa. HERE W j To clean tombstone. To renew oil-cloth. To renorate paint. To brighten awtala. To polish knivea. To aorub floor. To wash out sinks. To aoour bath-tube, To clean dishee. To whiten marble. To remove rust. To soonr kettles. EVERYBODY USES IT. DentlHt te titan hlit Itetk, urj.oD. to psiiih tbtlr lattramenta. OoQftctlontrt to toonr thtlr ptut. Mtehulot tt brighttn tbtlr tool. Cooki to eluu tht kitchen Hue. falottri t cites offiurfuu. aaglatera to eltts parts otmacbtiiM. MlDltttn te rtaerate old obtptlt. tatoiii to elesa tut tsmbttouta. Bottltrt on trosttt end white ho rata, artlitt to elite tbtlr ptltttta. Wbttlmes te cites bicycles. EVERY ONE FINDS A NEW USE. s. buying and Rclling musical instruments Sewing Machines, how to operate them made. Its tone is surpassed mistake u you ouj a otecu. give you the Celebrated t WHITE " fh "" La 3 The best Machine in the world. The NEW DOMESTIC, The ROYAL ST. JOHN, The STANDARD ROTARY And the NEW HOME. Clock, and. Jewelry G. WELLS. ' EYES FITTED FOR GLASSES AT G. WELLS, ARE MANY USES FOR Aio)fH JMrtu noaramalaa to etna marble Iters. Chtmlttt to rtmovi tan. ttaloe. Carrara to iharpta thtlr knU.t. Bhrewdostttoeooureldilraw has) olilltii to brlf hits thtlr aruu, Maaratori le titan carpal. Spring days are at hand and premonitions of warm weather bring with them a desire lor cooling dishes. We shall keep Ice Cream of many flavors from now on, and will serve it in our parlors day or night. Families and parties sup plied. Get our prices. The Cafe is open, and the kitchen is in charge of an ex perienced cook. ' Catering for parties, lodges, weddings, etc., a specialty. Fresh bread and cakes daily in the bakery. M. M PHILLIPS & SON. Proprietors of "PHILLIPS' CAFE." Bloomsburg, Pa. KESTY & HOFFMAN, Practical Mail We repair Engines, Boilers, Saw Mills, Threshers, Harvesters. Mowers and all kinds of machinery. WE HANDI.K STEAM PIPE FITTINGS, VALVES, STEAM GAUGES. And all kinds of Repairs. PIPE CUT TO OHDEIl. AGENTS FOR Gariioli Injector Co., GarSeli Dcubla Jet Injector, Automatic and Locomotive- Injector. All work done by us is guaranteed to give satisfaction, and all work in our line will be promptly attended to SHOPS - 6th and CENTKE STREETS- OLLEGE BfSINESS MAKES THE LIVIXO. Practical bxalncss training Is ttan nioxt vital part of eilueatlon. The luxuries of knnwlodve limy Ixi iiciiulred at. convenience. Tlinroouli training, attractively Klveii. Is the Htrnnv point of thin avhonl. i'ompeteut faculty; umplo futil ities. Heat ay stein of nook-Uecplnjt, Bliorlliaiicl, bull- ueetk) Peitiuteiitttilp aud Tvpe wrltiiiir. For both acxea. Knter at any tlmo. Write for partlculura. U. LEWIS BALDWIN.) I..,,.-.",. Maysiyr. A. v. Mows, f "ucijiaui M'Killip Bro's. Photographers. Only the best work done. Fin est effects in light, and shade; negatives re touched and modeled for sup erior finish. Copying, view ing and life size crayons. Over H.J.Clark & Son's store. BLOOMSBURG. We the undersigned, ore en tirely cured of Huplura by Dr. J. 11. MAYElt, Ml Arcu St., Plilla. Thoinait H. Hurtunif, New KlniaroM. I'll., I. Sandt, SoutU Kaatnn, Pa,, L. P. 41 C. A Keturck, oley. Pa., H. j. Stanley, 4SI Spruiw St., Lebanon Pu.t A. Schneider, Locust Dale, l'a., 1. H. Null, Limekiln, pa., Win. K, llartenntlne, Phoeiilxvlllc, Pa., W. M. Lelnbacli, IWI Waah Initton St., Headlntr, Pm., .1. C. Lvuie, 1810 W. Howard St., llarrlabuiv, Pa., C. Keehn. loK laHivllle, Pa. Dr. MAVKU la at Hotel Penu-, l(eadiii, Pa., on the iiul Saturday of aou mouth. Call to ace him. Peerless Tacoma ping and K. It- ire. Vuat reaourcea. Dully lnilow of men with money. Steady rlxn in miuet. Bettor proltlH thun Hloeks or mortgagon. Ijts aud acres Sf" to tauMKO. Kent paying properly. $5 mohtii i.v lor our lots earns you mucU more money than savings bunk. Sure a) to Mi per oeut Writs Tacoiua Investment Co., Tacoma, Wash. lists
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers