PROFSSIONAL CARDS.
h. Fiurz
ATTOUNMY.AT.LAW,
Office Front Room, Oror I'ostofflco.
I1L00JIBUUI10, PA.
j 11. iiAizi: ;
ATTO UN K WAT-LAW,
lNSUHANCK add JieAl RvrATE AOKNT,
0FFICK.-H00I1. No. 2, COLUMBIAN
building.
HLOOMSUUltO, lA.
Jan. tuth lbsg, tt. '
TaT U.FUiN 1
ATTOKNli V-AT-LAW.
l)Loouccao,ri
Odice la snt'6 uulldlng,
J 01LN M. CLAMC,
ATTOllNKY-AT-LAW
JUVHUE OK THE l'EAUE.
ItM.oaanoHO, pj
unice r woyer ures. Dreg store
W. M1LLKK,
ATTnHVBVAT.T.lW.
Ofilcctn Drower's bulldlng.socond floor.roota No.l
Dloomnburg, I'a.
n FRANK ZARR,
' ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.
Uloorasburg, Pa.
onice corner ot centra and Main Streets. Clark s
UUUUU1K.
Can bo consulted In German.
Gr
EO. E. ELWELb
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW,
ULOOMBDURO, J. A.
Olllce on second lloor, third room of Col-
Omiiiam uuililing, Main street, below Kx
chnngo Hotel.
jl V. WIIITK,
ATTORNEY-AT' LAW,
BLOOMSBURG, PA.
.Olllce In Wlrts Building, 2nd floor,
may 1-tf
S. WINTEH8TEEN,
Attornoyat-Law
AND
NOTARY PUBLIC.
Ofllce tu 1st National Dank building, second Boor,
Brstdoor to tholotu Corner o( Main ana Market
vreeiamoornrcurg, ra.
t&-I'ensiana and Bounties Collected.
J? P. 13ILLMEYEH,
DISTRICT ATTORNEY.)
ATTORNEY-AT.-LAW,
"fiTOfflco over Dentlcr's shoe store,
llloomsburg, Pa. apr-30.80.
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.
Catawlst a, Pa.
Oicco.aorner rt Third and MatnStreeta
JJOBEHT R. LITTLE,
ATTOR NE Y-AT-L A W,
BLOOMSUUHO, l'A.
nrOfllce, Columbian Building, second llocr,
front roora.
QUANT HERRING,
ATTORNEY-A T-LAW,
BLOOSISuUltCl, PA.
Olllce over Hawltng'a Meat Market.
D
It. 110N0I1A A. ROBBINS.
omco and residence. West i'lrst street. Blooms-
burg, ra. nov20 88 ljr.
JD. McKELVY, M. D.,Surgeon and Pby
. Blclan, north sldo Main Btreet.bolow Market
0
R. J. 0. RDTTER,
I'llYSICIAN i BDKGBON,
omco, north Maritot street,
Clcoirsburs, ra
DR. WM. M. REI5ER Surgeon and
Physician, ofllco corner otltoclt and Market
trcet.
J J. BROWN.
-Offlco and resldcnco 3rd Street, West or Maiket
near M. K. church,
onice hours every alternoon and evening, upo
clal attention given to the eye and tho attlng ot
glasses. Tolcphono connection.
jyt. J. R. EVANS.
Troatmcnt of Chrouio Diseases raado a
SPECIALTY.
Office, Third Street,
J5i.oojisuui!0 Pa
J. HEbS, D. D. S.,
tlraduate ot tho 1'hlladclphla Dental College,
ilav lng opened a dental olUco In
LOCKAKD'S RUILD1NG,
corner ot Main ana centre streets,
-RLOOrflSBURG, PA.,
8 prepared to recclvo all patients lequli ng pro-
i,im ma ATjn fflfiAL ANAESTHETICS
irraui vuuito iiuvu -w
ALL WORK GUARANTEED AS REPRESENTED.
.oct sii-i y.
xVTf II. HOUSE,
DENTIST,
Bloomsboro, Columbia County, Pa
llstylosot workdonolna superior mannor.work
warranieaa rciJiuouum. --" -
bd without 1'im by tho use or Uas, and
freeot ohargewhenartinclalteeth
nrntnanrted.
iMlnfr Main street.
'el6w MRrket, Ave doorB below Klelras
drug store, ursi noor.
'lo be open at all hours during the da
D F. UARTMAN
' BIfISHTB TDI rClLOWIMO
ATKER10AN INSURANCEJCOMPANLEB
North American of Philadelphia.
Franklin, " "
Pennsylvania, " "
Tork, ot Pennsylvania.
Hanover, or N. Y.
.oueens, or London.
'North British, ot London,
tomco on Market Street, No, , Bloomsburg.
oct. it. l"
. Bloomsburg Fire and Life Ins. Agency.
ESTABLISHED IH3.
Rt. ! JLVTX
(Succesaor to Freas Urown)
HAtiniwtva VKPRC8INTID!
itnrireIns.Co.. ot Hartford,.. I MJJJS'Jl
11 o r tf ord o 1 1 1 artrord . . . . , . , J. CMS-
J lioenlx of Hartford..... ." "
t rir.fcfleld or Spring leld..... S'?'??
! ,r1ofSnfnd-(U:a bVanchj g
l.jyal or Fjigland " " 4,853,504.00
Mutual jieneni uro vu. ui
ark, N.J 4i,si,.
Losbcs promptly adjusted and paid at this omce.
I-'IRE INSURANCE AGENCY OF
J. II. MAIZE,
Ofllco 2nd floor Columbian Building,
11T nnMHTlTTHO. PA.
tlverpool London and Qlobe, largest In the world.
. Ar.- t'l UUI.4ni.0a
CONT INENTAL or Ne' Y9J't I35?'Sm'ii
A H ItHICAN or Philadelphia, hvo'Sitl
ui.riiu nf New York. ajwi,ii.e
oine 1, IMS, tf.
Exchange Hotel,
BENTON, I'A.
n... ..H..Ki..n.. ima to.,uii thiii well-known
jioiise, and la prepared to accommodate the miblio
with all the conveniences o( a nreKlass hotel.
LEUUBL DHAKS, Proprietor
Q. S, ELVTELL. 1 . ....
1 S BITTENBEMDEH. JrroF"'
WHAT is meant by 'free alkali,' Doctor? I sec it mentioned
in the advertisements of Ivory SoAr."
"'Free Alkali,' Madam, is the alkali which is not combined
with the fats or oils of which the soap is made, due to the ignorance
or carelessness of the soap maker. Soaps in which free alkali ' is
present are decidedly injurious to both the clothing and the skin
when habitually used. I have seen reports of analysis made of the
Ivory Soap by men eminent in our profession, and all pronounce it
to contain no ' free alkali, ' to be made with great care and of ma
terials of the best quality, carefully selected, so I unhesitatingly rec
ommend it for every purpose about the house for which good soap
is required."
A WORD OF WARNING.
" Thare are many white soaps, eaeh represented to bo " Just as good as the ' Ivory ' "
thoy ARE NOT, but like all counterfeits, lack tho peculiar and remarkable qualities of
the genuine. Ask for " Ivory " Soap and Insist upon getting it.
Copyright 1SS6, by Procter A Gamble.
Fases Pain Instantly.
Strengthens Weak Parts.
Quiets Nervousness.
Xtath Hop., HemlockGum ftnd
Pino llslaam, prepared and
epread, all read; to apply.
Best Plaster Ever Made.
1 1 ujici .fpi in mho. h -1
Sold by Drag and country Btona.
25 CM. O for SI. Mailed for prioe.
r,rift.
Near lMilIndelphla.
Sclmol Opuim Hept. 10th,
Yearly Kxpcunt', S500.
Qnnrterlfrarra'tri.Sl'JS
HUR
Admit tnd cluslfiet rounjr men nd boys t ny time 1 fits them for Duilncu. uy CoV'b!Sni,t
oKrh. w iv.ln( n Xnirii. ATncei classes in Phlct. Chemtitry, Surveyine, Electrical or
Ciril Enzinrerinp, Clastic. Mathematics etc. Out of the best equipped and best "anCcdcc''0P1.,1 , -indents
Wd wftl. the Principal. 1 eachers all men and gradjiatei 0 ftntOiM "fK? , ,F'n?cS WooWl b
loom.. bUir room hU it .learn
School. I
1 .. h in it .1.1 m rsHUiftf kn.l com ete
aihlettci.etc. Cymnasium. Special oitportunitlesT
tic., etc. More fully ur led ith H.tlu. Uln y olhet CoUeie-fim nhoul. Media aaiy ""'.f JJjr
CS..W. the U.. e,lul.Uoi. .nJ the ItJml. 1
illustrated c.utornje .nt free ta any .d.lre.I. SW1TIUN p. SIIUKTLIUGE, A.U.. A.M. lilimrd ur.auatc,. rtuw.
and froprletor, Mean, ra. wrtuiar. a, u wn
CLOTHING ! CLOTHING
, W. EERTSOH,
THE MKUtinANT TAILOIt.
FurnUhing Goods,Bais & Caps
OF EVKltV DESCRIPTION.
nln In nrdor at fillOft notice
and a fit always guaranteed or no sale.
(Till mill .tYfiminn tho laroeet and best
selected stock of goods over eliowii in
r. I 1..
Btore next Uoor to First National uuk
MAIN STREET,
Bloomsbtirs: P.
SUESMEM
WANTIil), B W
. . uiitmrtiv KTfVTIf.
lif naoie men w ."""". " V,
lea. or cominlasloil, an preferred, m varletler.
:..Tii7i;rtllliinr;-lllltlpM. AllDlf at ODCO.
It Is now the best time In the yoar to Win.
(1LEN UK0TI1E1W, HocUestfr. N. .
(Mention tuis papor.) June 7 lw-d
liXCHANGE HOTEL,
57. R. TUBBS, PROPRIETOR
BL00U5EUEO, FA.
OPPOSITBOOnitT UQUHB.
Uot and oold water, ana all modern convenience
Itnalllng from the lirrori ot Youth, Vollj, Vice, Ig
norance, c, mar he cared at home without f&U or
ripotare. Infulllble and t'onndiullal. Iive
Tiullae, 800 pagei, oily f 1 by mall, acaled, iioitpald.
Small book, with endoriemtnta ot the Prea, free.
Bond sow, AddreM the lVabodr Medical Imtltnte,
pt fir, W.lLl'a'lier, Mat llulioch BU.UoitoD.Mui.
Junetl-d-U
lie
BLOOMSBUiRG, PA., (FRIDAY, JUNE 28 ,1839.
COMPLETELY AND
Back.
Cheat,
Bldn,
.KldoMt,
SPEEDILY .
CURES
AH AehM. Ptini.
Dutinuo
L'Aiai
.
TMh for the rmvrld&'l rtanature
HOP PLASTER CO.. BOSTON, .
on dd genuine gocdL
iUALITY,
AVe don't starve Quality to throw 11
bone to Price. In other words, we
don't slight our work or use iufcrior
trimmings to tempt you with a- low
price for poor goods. None hut the
Best Clothing for Men, Youths, Boys
and Children.
A. C. Yates & Co
LEDClClt DUILDINO,
SIXTH AXD CHESTNUT,
PHILADELPHIA.
or doubU
v furnluied. urounas uen cictj iur iw""t.??". '
YAINWHIGUT & CO.,
WHOLESALE QRORERS.
PlIILADitPUIA, Pa.
UfAS, SYHUPS, COPPEE, BCQAIt WOLASSEb
ltlOG, Bl'IOEd, niOAlIH SODA, ETC., ETC.
N. E. Cornor Second and Arch Sta,
nr-Orders win receive prompt attentooi
OBOWN AWIJE
THE BEST BURNING OIL THAT CAN
BE MADE FROM PETROLEUM.
It gives a brilliant Hunt.
H win not smoke lueciumneys.
It vi 111 not char the wick.
It has a high tire test.
It will not explode.
It Is pre-eminently a family safety oil.
WE CHALLENGE COMPARISON
With any other lllumlnatm troll made.
We Stake Our Reputation,
As refiners, upon the statement that It Is
THE BEST OIL
IN THE WORLD.
Ask ycur dealer for
12 OIL COMPANY.
UANV1XLE, PA.
Trado for Bloorosburg and Vicinity Supplied by
WIOYER BROS.,
llloomsburg, Pa.
teps-iy.
1LOOK
If You want a icood rltuatlon write MA
llliOTIIi:il8. Kurbnryraeu, Hoche-ter. N. y as
lliey uielri wantof Uoneat aud uprliiht salesmen
to tell Uolri'Uflcoanlliardy varletlosof Nursery
Bloik rli'ierpa salary or cgmmlsiilon. Many new
n-i t ,lu ii vattlle. to offer. Write lUein tt
on fir terns.
liEUVD AlUi UAKOEltOUB.
June T-4w-d. .
60NNET TO THE SEA.
0 miikImi SM, aow )mn (hall roen proclaim
Thy freedom and' thy power I Slave of the
lloon.
Thy wrath U Irornraed of the wind, the Noon
Supplies thy smiles, thy life Is but a najno
That ,ioete use. To thee nor praUe bur blamo
Delongr. Abd yvt shall tnan, ataa, not soon
Forgf t to foar thee, and thy dim halls strewn
With bones of braveet man and fairest damuf
The careless fish within thee sjwrt apd breed.
The tilrd above thee spreads her scornful wing;
Yet thou, more lifeless than thy weakest weed,
Canst shako the very soul of prtctt and king.
And aye to man thy hreathlens breast apirors
A waste of sighs, a wilderness of tears.
Tho Academy.
CUT OFF.
A small steam launch, containing lialf
a dozen persons, swept swiftly along
with tho muddy current of tho Quajara
river. Tho vessel and party had left
I'ara, at the mouth of a branch of tho
Amazon, nearly a mouth before, mid
had steamed up as far as tho junction of
tho Madera, there taking n southerly
courso as far as Italsamaco.
After leaving tho latter town they lmd
turned into a sldo stream and before long'
wcro Inextricably mixed up in tho net
work of creeks and Bmall rivers which
cross and rccross themselves in southern
Drazil.
Tho leader of tho party and owner of
tho launch lay stretched out on tho deck
with a small riflo in his hands, occasion
ally shooting at some bright phimaged
bird flying overhead or at a lazy reptllo
coiled in tho branches of a treo on shore.
"Jack," ho Baid presently, tn tliu young
man who sat In tho pilot holo and with
raro skill kept tho vessel clear of tho In
numerable logs in tho river, "whero nro
wo now?"
"I don't know," replied Jack. "Where
is Bunco? He's tho only person who has
over been known to leavo theso parts
alive."
A shout from tho young pilot brought
Bunco into view a tall, thin, swarthy
man, with a couutenanco that would
have, mado his fortune ns the leading
villain in a drama of tho lurid type. Hut
inspitoof his looks and chronic indis
position to work ho was good natured
and intelligent, and of valmiblo service
txxtbo party. Jack had christened him
Bunco, as tho name most closely resem
bling that which ho had given at their
first meeting.
"I dunno whar wo is." ho said in reply
to tho pilot's question. "Hit's mighty
queer, too, for I haf been ycro befo'."
.Ho looked nervously toward shore ns
ho continued:
"Hit ain't fur from Balsamaco to Inca,
I reckon, an' of once wo git ihar wo aro
suro ter run into tlior natives. Thoy'ro
thick right nroun' hyer, an' savager'n all
tarnation."
Tho captain of tho craft aroso find
stood at .Bunco's Bide.
"Can you tell us how to reach, tho
Madora again?" ho asked. "This must
bo one of tho branches to it possibly tho
Quajara."
"Thct's jest whut I'm afcard of," said
Bunco, shading his eyes with ono hand
and peering ahead. "An' ef hit is,
we'ro agoin' ter, run right in ther Inca
country."
"And tho .natives, there, you say, ure
savago?"
Tho colored man nodded.
"They're wusser than in any oilier
part of Brazil."
Tho conversation was interrupted by
tho appearanco of two young iucii,.one
about the sumo ago ns Jack and tho
other a fow yours older.
'''Bill is going to strike," said one of
t,hem, with a luugli. "He's got nearly
all ills clothing off now, but ho says it's
hot enough down in tho engino room to
broil a bteak. Ho wants to know when
you uro going back."
"Wo'ro going to turn around present
ly," replied the person addressed. "Wo
why. Bunco, there's a house."
The wholo party followed with their
eyes tho direction ot tho captain's out
stretched arm, and saw through tho foil
ngo.the.thatched roof of a liativo hut.
Jack turned tho vessel towardsshoround
rang' tho signal in tho engino room to
shut olf steam.
In a few minutes they had reached dry
land and wero hurrying in tho direction
of tho building, leaving Bill to moor tho
launch and follow them later.
The party consisted of an English gen
tleman named llobert Etyhge, his two
sous, Oeorgo and Itusseili Jack Camp
bell, a young American, mid Bill mid
Bunco, engineer, fireman, deuk hand and
steward, In turn. They wero on a blx
months' pleasure trip through South
America,
Tho house, which they discovered in
tho center of a cleared space of ground
near tho riverside, was a well built struct
ure, containing one large and one biuall
room, witli tliosinglo entrance in thobido
of the former. It had evidently been
lately inhabited, for a largo supply of
grain, dried meats and vegetables wns
stored within, and a pilo of wood already '
cut for fuel lay ready at hand.
The party proceeded at oneo to Inspect
tho cabin, to bco what sort of a placo it
would bo to spend tho night in. Their
quarters In tho vessel wero so cramped
that whenever it was practlpablo they
had slept in n tent on shore or In n tem
porarily deserted hut like tho present ono.
"I guess we'd better stay hero for tho
night,? said Mr. Etynge. "Tho building
Is a stout ono and proof ngainbt both
wild beasts and wild men. Supposo a
couplo of you youngsters go down to tho
boat and get souio bedding."
Jack and Kussell stepped to tho door,
but drew back suddenly, tho former
beckoning to tho captain us he did so.
"There's a crowd of natives coming
this way," ho whispered. "Look through
the window whllo wo, bar tho door."
Mr. Etyngo sprang to tho small win
dow and glanced towards u body of men
rapidly advancing iti the direction of tho
cabin. Thoy wero within gunshot before
catching sight of tho house, then they
fell bock, concealing themselves behind
eoxna trees and bushes, and jabbering
away llko an army of monkeys.
"Well," said Russell, as he and Jack
finished barring tho door, "this Is a ntco
adventure, isn't it? The idea" of leaving
tho boat with only ono riflo among usl"
They looked into each other's facca,
but no ono spoke.
Whirl
A short, thick, sharp pointed plcco of
wood How through tho window and hur
lod Itself In the opposite wall. Another
and another followed, sotno of them
striking tho cabin and others coming In
by way of tho open window,
Tho men threw themselves on tho
floor, at Bunco's suggestion, and all but
Jack Campbell remained In that position
for nearly half on hour. The latter had
seized tho captain's small repeating riflo
and cautiously approached tho window.
For somo minutes tho arrows from tho
natives' air guns llow so thickly that ho
was "uuablo to got .a shot at them; but'
presently there eamo a lull In tho ono
sided bombardment, and the sharp cruel;
of (ho riflo was followed by a death yell
from without.
But ono rlllo, although It kept back for
somo time tho assault of tho savages,
was not suillclent to drivo thcui away,
and lato In tho afternoon, Jack's car
tridges having given out, tho natives ap
proached nearer to th? cabin.
fiioy seemed to reallzo that tho deadly
ammunition of their enemies had hecomo
exhnustcd, nlid wcro preparing for a
hand to hand conflict, knowing that they
outnumbered tho Inmates of the cabin
ten to one.
But ns they cautiously approached tho
hut, shooting almost constantly nt tho
door and windows, an unexpected but
powerful re-enforcement camo lo tho aid
of thu tourists in the shape of their en
gineer on board tho launch.
Bill was slow to comprehend tho real
danger of his friends' position! but when
ho did so ho nt once mado preparations
for their relief. Ho gathered all tho
ammunition ho could find Into tho pilot
house, nnd loaded nearly a dozen repeat
ing rllles lieforo commencing to shoot.
When ho finally opened ilro Iio was able
to keep a steady stream of bullets trained
upon tho savages, anil this thoroughly
demoralized them and caused tho major
ity to retreat precipitately from tho hut
nnd turn thcirattention toward tho river.
Bill wns not particularly noted for his
marksmanship, nnd uot more than ono
in ovcry twenty bullets look effect! but
tho unceasing Urn was too much for tho
natives, nnd thoy broke and ran llko so
many sheep.
Tor a few minutes it looked ns though
Bill's plan would cnahlo thoso imprisoned
In the hut to make their escape! hut wit li
tho cessation of tho tiring thu courage of
tho natives returned, and they speedily
placed tho cabin between themselves nnd
the vessel. Then they sent n half dozen
particularly good Bhots at tho doughty
engineer.
"It looks ter me," said Bill to himself,
as boveral of tho sharp pointed sticks
(lew past him, "as if we'd kinder got
inter ti hornets' nest. Thebo dtirned sav
ages will starvu tho boys out unless I can
drivo them ofT, I guess I'll wait till after
dark and sco if I can't carry somo rifles
to them."
For somo tlmo afterwaids thu mind of
the engineer was busily engnged in choos
ing from n number of plans tho ono best
suited for the speedy delivernnco of his
fellow tourists. It would bo necessary to
reach tho cabin without alarming tho
savages, and at tho samo lime leavo be
hind him somo judication of his prcsnnco
on board tho vessel, thus distracting their
attention from his expedition.
Ho llnally perfected a schemo that
would carry out his idea, and when night
fell, ho had completed his arrangements
for liberating tho tourists.
Ho secured all tho rillcs in a bundle
nnd stowed about his clothing all tho
cartridges 1 10 could carry, Then ho set
the whistlo on tho boat to blow lng, tying
back tho valvo cord, so as to frighten
tho natives and glvo them to understand
that ho wum slill on board. Tho vessel
was also provided with a largo and reso
nant brass bell, and tho clapper of this
lie connected by a cord with tho plung
ing piston lod, for ho had set tho engino
gently to woiklng. Tho result must havo
puzzled and amused thocaptlvesas much
us it alarmed tho natives, and for a few
miuutc3 not a souud could bo heard abovo
tho hoaibo shriek of tho whistle, and tho
loud ding dong of tho bell.
Just as tho din commenced Bill leaped
on bhoro with tho rifles and ammunition
and set out In the darkness for tho cabin.
Twice ho btumbled and fell, and boveral
times caught sight of dark forms mov
ing about him, for the cabin was sur
rounded by savHges. Butif thcysawtho
engineer they must havo taken him for
ono of their own number, nnd ho reached
tho frout of tho cabin in safety,
"Hey, there," ho whispered, rapping
lightly on tho door. "It's me Bill."
Tho door was cautiously opened and
tho engineer crawled in, receiving a per
fect ovation from the prisoners.
When they had divided tho rifles and
cartridges, tho captain baid:
"I guess we'd better start for tho boat
at once. Under cover of tho darkness
wo aro moro suro to reach It, and tho
noiso of tho whUtlo will show us tho way,
Aro you all ready?"
"Yes," camo in chorus from tho rest,
and the door was 6lowly opened.
Tho captain went out llrst, followed in
turn at intervals of a minutu by Bunco,
Jack, Itusboll, Bill and (Jeorge.
Just as tho latter stalled, the fun b.gan.
Tho rillcs kept cracking merrily, cacli
succeeding reivort sounding nearer and
nearer to the boat, until tho captain, with
Bill at his side, sprang on hoard, and the
ingenuity of tho latter was Mill further
demonstrated by tho preparations which
ho had mado for repelling boulders.
Two long pieces of lubber hose, con
necting with tho boiling water In the
engino room, were brought into service,
and, while waiting for thu remainder of
tho party to como up, did valuablo work
In keeping the savages nt a distance.
When tho last man was on board Bill
rushed below and started tho propeller,
whllo Jack, in tho pilot house, headed
tho lioat down stream.
"Wo aro saved!" exclaimed tho cap
tain, fervently. "Now let ds get out of
this region as quick as possible. It is
hnrdW tho sort of ono lor a pleasure
tour. Howard Jl. Boynton in Tho Ar-
gy.
V I.OTO of Jutdlcp.
"Where did you get that enko, Annie t"
"Mother gavo it to mo."
"She's nlw ays n-giving you moroi she does
me."
"Never mind, Harry;" tba's golug to put
nutatnrd plasters on us to-night, and I'll ask
her to let you have tho biggest." Life.
The Old Man Wus Disappointed.
Uncle I'cter wont to coo a ball game last
Saturday. It was bis first view of such a
contest In ten yoars, and ho looked somowlmt
disupiHjtnUxl as the innings rolled otT with
machine like promptness, but he sutd nothing
until he was on board n homeward bound
car. Tbuu his uephuw Addressed him i
"What do you think of It, unclo!"
"'Hint wns a baseball game, was itf
"Of course it w. Why do yoa ask tlmtr
"And they call that playing!"
"CtTtatnly."
"Nobody punched nobody else from ono
end to tho otlierl"
"No, Indeed."
"And the umpire wasn't kicked olf the
field!"
"That Is a raro diversion nowadays."
"And tho wholo eighteen men didnt liuddlo
togother "In a hunch and Jaw every tlmo a
man was called out!"
"Oh, no."
"And nobody didn't steal tho best bats and
make otr with the (pare liaUl"
"That Is Impossible under the present ar
rangement." "And the w hole thing didn't w Ind up in a
freo fight!"
"You saw that it didn't,"
"I know that I saw it didn't, and I alo
know a game of real baseball when I seo It,
and that confounded croquet urty that wo
old I) to look at Is no more llko tho real
games they used to play than mi amateur
muistrcl show Is like genuine fun, Charles.
1 town Kntorprlse.
'
'ilifll the World Turner 'Hound Afnln.
Ho oillcrod a tobacco store on Grand Hiver
nveuuo with a handkerchief pressed to his
Jaw, and was at cuioo an object of solicitude.
"I'vo been there," said number ono, "and I
can foel for you. Try pcpiermlnt essence."
"I always put on n ling of hot salt," said
nuinlier two. "Have cured tho worst kind of
case imldu of two hours."
"lloshl" exclaimed number three, "olno
trlcity will stop that ache hi two minute. I'll
never fdol with nny other remedy."
"Gentlemen," sold number four, as ho put
his linger into his mouth to feel of an old
sung, "there's nothing llko InudunnUi tor the
toothache. It coines from on exposed nerve.
Laudanum deadens tho sensibility of the
nervo. t'vo used It with success a hundred
times,"
"I never'd advice a mnu to waste tlmo fool
ing around," said number Ave, "It hint go
ttrnlght to tho dentist nnd hnvo tt pulled out.
It takes grit, of course,-but In flvo minutes
you aro over It forever."
"I'vo had eleven pulled out," said number
six, "and I'd sooner lose eleven moro than
sutVer with toothache for ono hour. I'll go
with you, Smith."
"Whero to!" Innocently asked Smith, as he
pocketed tho handkerchief.
"To tho dcntUt's. Haven't you got tho
toothache!"
"Oh, no. Every ono of my molars is false.
I always carry my handkerchief that way
when thinking deeply. Much obliged, geuts.
What will you snioko at your on n expense!''
Detroit Freo Press.
Not for Pish.
Dctweeu Orceusboro' and Salisbury tho lo
comotive broke dow u nnd wo Iny for threo
hours w hilo repairs wero being mado. Tbero
was a small lake near by, aud tho colonel got
out his llshhig tackle, hunted up a frog for
bait, anil tried his luck. Ho fished that pond
lengthways and tldoways and up aud down
and across for two hours and a half, and ho
wai still at it when a white man came
through tho woods and stopped and inquired!
"Had any luck!"
"Not a bit."
"Fishing for ash!"
"Of course,"
"Just lo pass tho timer'
"Yes."
"Thou It's all right."
"Supposo I wasn't fishing Just to pass tho
tlmo I"
"Thou I'd fed It my duty to tell you that
this lako uos druiued off last week nnd every
blessed fish scooped out. This 'ere watercame
In from tho lut rain." Detroit Freo Press.
A Wasted IlfTurt.
Adolph (much in love, but very near sight
ed) Ah I 6ho sees mo coming and waves mo a
welcome.
Biddy (washing tho window) Phwat alh
the dude on thu outside! Shuro ho'll get
tonio hot wnther over him If ho tlu-ys uiashiu'
mo. I.tfo.
Hated Monotony.
'Maude," ho said, with a nulvcrlnff quaver
Jn tho vowel sounds, "Maude, three weeks
ago to-night I asked you to marry mo."
"You Mil."
"And you said 'no.'"
"That woh my answer,"
"Two wooks ago to-night I asked you tho
samo question."
"I remember."
"And you undo tho samo reply."
"I did."
"A week ago I askod you to bo my wife.
and you said -'no' again,"
Ye.''
"You havo had another wook to think tha
matter over, and I culled to see whether you
had arrived at any other conclusion."
Who reflected' a moment, and then 6uld
gcntlyi
-ijurry, i rocogmzo mo tact mat oaoi
tlmo I have answered you in precisely tho
samo wi.y. There has lieea nothing in my
replies, so fur, to relieve tho similarity."
Then, a.ter another puuso, she bold, still moro
softlyi
'HariT, I should uato very much to bo
considered monotonous." Merchant Trav
eler. A Woman of thq World.
A pretty fan was presented to a little clrl
4 years of ago, and she, wishing to show her
new treasure, hung it on her finger aud held
It out at arm's lengtli. A lady, on entering
tho irlor, was attracted by the peculiar at
tltudo of the little girl, and finally sold to
hen "Isn't It very fatiguing to hold out your
arm In that way so long!" Said little Elaie
In answer, with a doep sight "Isn't It always
fatiguing to be elegant!" Wide Awake,
A Decided Drawback.
"Oraciousl" exclaimed Mrs. Backwoods,
"the paper says that the fashionable folks tn
N'York havo '5 o'clock tea.' Thoy must
got awful hungry aforo bedtliui " -llarer'a
Bazar.
Fannlo tried very hard to bo pollto and
speak correctly. At church ono day the met
a little friend who had boon sick for some
tlmo. In asking about her aflllctlon Fannie
said! "Did you oujoy much palu when you
wcro Ull" Youth'b Couqianlou.
Ho Chanurd tha (subject.
Ho Miss Travis, do you look favorably
upon my suit!
She Certainly; It fits you beautifully.
Burlington Freo Press.
tdke ISvery Quo Ulse
A St, Louis man uamod I'yo left a largo
ustnto. It turns out that his relatives, like
other iwoplo, wero fond of I'yo. l'ittsburg
Chronicle.
btriiuge but True.
Tho moths havo strango tastes. They fre
quently opiioar in overcoats in summer
weather. Fort l'lain Kroo Fi-ess.
Tip to Termagant.
A "tense of humor" Is so much bepralsod
Ily crltloa, that one mik-ht tmpposo It raised
To tho high rank of a new cardinal tlrttio.
Well, 'tU a gift that helps uud cannot hurt you.
Hut If you'd culthato thu gift delightful.
You must ubaudon hato, aud cut the spiteful;
For whatsoever angry fools inay rumor,
You can't be humorous when you're out of bu-
voil i4naoa tmw"
THE COLUMBIAN, VOL XXIII. NO JO
COLUMBIA DKM03HAT, V0L.L1II, NO 11
THE LATEST IN JEWELS.
'Tigs In clover" puzzlos nro now mado wltla
both lidos ot glass.
Tiny flasks in gold wlckerwork havo boon
designod as earrings.
Blmplo pearl headings for side combs con
tinue to gain admirers,
Eiffel tower Jswelry threatens to liecoine a
fad hero as well as in l'arls.
Flying cuptds with satchels of arrows form
pretty queen chain pendants.
Choice link cud buttons aro of almond
shape, thickly covered with learls.
Candelabra of faience, in delicate boudoir
thus, appeal to tho tastes ofniany.
Liuk sleeve buttons In tho form of spiral
gold bars aro very much in voguo.
Richly chased gold and opaquo amber Is a
now combination for umbrella handles.
ltoman gold cult buttons with delicate
tracings of colored enamel are ull tho go.
Oold liairplns are out In imitation of tha
old coach horn, with llttlo or no engraving,
A brooch suitable for mourning wear is a
black onyx palm leaf with a plain gold stem.
Tho miniature lorgnette quosn chain x.'u
dant lately introduced finds hosts of admirers.
In now watch charms Is noticed a small
block of ngatlred wood with an intaglio In
each side.
The cutest queen charm yet seen is a tiny
cago formed of gold wire inclosing an en
ameled bird.
Deserving of much favor as a scarf pin Is a
bluo enamel button on which Is outlined a
diamond heart.
Four small gold strips crossed in a square,
having a ruby in tho center, tend to mako an
exceedingly pretty lace phi.
Colored crystal lamp bowls with a cover
ing of largo open work silver aro an appre
ciable change, in piano lamps.
Tho ornamentation on a duplicate mirror,
recently soon, was a Pomiielion scene, etched
In tho most exquisite manner.
Narrow shankod rings havo settings of
three or four colored pearls, whoso contrast
ing hues odd beauty to tho ring.
linger rings of recent origin aro couiposod
of a number of slender gold wires linked
together with tiny enamel bows.
Celluloid jewelry will bo ono of tho fea
tures at the summer resorts this season, If
fashion cranks aro to bo relied upon.
Among tho most desirable scarf pin novel
ties Is a pretty bluo enamel disk bearing a
moonstono cameo. Jowelers lloview.
White enamel daisies of varying sizes aro
neatly arranged In a star pattern as a brooch.
Each flower Is centered with a diamond.
An artistic stylo of ring setting consists of
four diamonds hi a vertical setting, flanked
on either sldo by a ruby above a sapphire.
For second mourning may bo rocommended
a black and white onyx shell llko brooch,
with diamonds and pearls set in tho hollow.
A brooch of a high order is formed of two
gold circles between which runs a baud of
cream colorod enamel set at intervals with
rubles.
An innovation In bracelets recently noted
was a brood band of red elastic with an Im
mense double dlumond star adorning the
center.
Rich looking hairpin tops aro a bunch of
gold loops interlace!, the center one termi
nating in a point, and a pear shaped pearl
mounting the loops.
Ono of fashion's latest fancies is an earring
composed of a blood red ruby of unusual
size in n close setting, with n clrclo of alter
nate diamonds and sapphires surrounding It
Jewelers' Review.
FASHIONS FOR MEN.
Black silk corded chains will be worn with
white vests.
To bo iu tho sw lm every man should have n
neat bathing suit.
Silk stripe cashmeres is the favorite ma
terial for tennis sashes.
Tenuis belts will bo worn made up In silk
webs, worsted and elastics.
Whlto stono jewelry and low cut vests Is a
combination now in vogue.
Silk blazers, in fancy figured stripes, will
bo a feature of summer outfits.
Tho flowing end Tecksand band bows ir
light colorod silks aro now the rago.
Tho prevalent background among tho new
scarflngs shown iu dainty colors is pink.
French zephyrs, In washable colors, aro In
greater demand this season than over before.
Every species of aqueous costumo for man
is growing gaudier, from swimming Uguts to
uatu robes.
The Lever collar button is dow mado with
a pearl back and is especially adapted for
summer wear.
Tho English tenuis sash in rich colored bilks
will bo oxtcnslvely worn by thoso playeru w ho
desire something choice.
Soma of tho "sporting cents" nro radiant
with silk handkerchiefs with borders repre
senting horses aud their mounts.
A new featuro for the summer season Is a
silk stripe flannel made up In four-in-hand
und leeks to match the llannel shirt,
Momte cloth, pongoo silks and reps figured.
iu wbito and tinted shades, w ill bo extensive
ly worn in tho different shapes of nucku ear.
Tho tendency of tho times for tho fanciful
will bo apparent In tho wide raugo of color
among tho boating men, canoeists and yachts
men. t30Jiio ot mo combinations which will
bo seen "on lward ship," this coming season,
will surpass anything heretofore utteinpted
by tho amateur sea dogs. Clothier und Fur
nisher. SCIENTIFIC SQUIBS.
Hammered zino has tho greatest range of
expansion aud contraction of tho solid metals,
being 1.44 inch in 100 feet for a dllferonco of
40 degs. C.
Compound camphor liniment Is mado by
mixing one drachm of camphor, flvo drops
of oil of lavender, two drachms of strong
solution of ammouiu, and six drachms of
rectified spirit.
The now powder which Is now used in tho
German army for sifting into tho shoos aud
stockings of tho foot soldiers consists of three
parts of salicylic acid, ten of starch, and
eighty-seven of pulvcrliod soapstouo. This
mixture keejis tho feet dry, prevents chafing,
and rapidly heals sore spots.
Application for painful tooth: A contrib
utor to Tho Union Medlcalo gives the follow
ing formula: Dry alcohallo extract of opium,
ono part; camphor, ono part; balsam of
Peru, ono part; mastic, two parts; chloro
form, twet ty parts. A pellet of cotton soak
ed in tho stlution Is to be introduced luto the
cavity,
Tho "regal red poppy" has recently lieen
found to havo tho valuable power ot binding
with its roots tho boll In which it grows lu
such a manner that it will prove most valua
blo In supporting embankments, Alreodv
several French engineers havo undertaken
the sowing ot railway embankments with
poppies.
Lcmuus ( Kxnerlcticc.
Anxious Mother Mv sou. that vomu-
lady you admlro knows nothing about house-
worK.
Son Well, mother, you know you don't
euuer.
'True, my son. Your father's brothur.
however, married u girl who did, and tho
money she saved was investod lu mil estate,
and they aro now living in a brown itoue
palace."
"Oh, well, his fortune couldn't all have
como from that."
"Maybe uot, maybo not; but your father
mm i uro uviug m a routed House, and one of
uur oiu servant girls owns it."
Heady to Take Ills Medicine.
"Did I over say nil tliatf" ho askod despond'
ently, ns she replaced tho phonograph on the
cornor oi the mantelpiece.
"You did."
"Aud you can grind it out of that machine
wueuever you chooser
"Certainly."
"Aud your father is a lawyerf'
"Yes.''
"Maliol, when can I place the ring on your
finder and call you my wifm" Merchant
iTOVOjl".
HOMES FOR THE rEOPLli.
PLANS THAT ARE ARTISTIC, CON
VENIENT AND ECONOMICAL.
Hern Aro Designs for it IMctnresqtie Little
Cottage That, It Is Claimed, Can II Put
Up for 8000 A Tine Looking llou.e for
81,800.
Thcro has never been n tlmo In tho history
of man's civilization when the building of
houses for homos received so much attention
as now. It is becoming tho ambition of
every man, no matter what his .financial
lovfl, to own bis own homo, and tho various
forms of co-operntlvo real estate buying aud
building tho loan association and tho Tike
have rendered it far more feasible than In
tho past for ovcry man to realize this most
laudable deslro. Tho results aro marvelous.
Ncnt, tasteful and nrtlstlo houses are spring
ing up everywhere. The landlord's! occupa
tion in many cases Is gone. Tho wage earner,
the small buslnen man and the professional
maa nro now their own landlords to an ex
tent that would havo been deemed Impossible
thirty, twenty, nny, llv-o years nga And
not the least gratifying featuro of this state
of alTalrs Is tho fact that It causes ovcry man
to glvo attention to tho alTalrs of his own
community Ho is n tax payer why should
hoi.ot concern himself with tho administra
tion of tho government of his town, his vil
lage, hNcltyl
Let tho good work go on. Let tho people
of this country lecomo a jiooplo of homeown
ers, Independent and self resiiecting. Nothlog
can moro certainly conduco to the greatness
of tho country as a wholo; nothing 'will more
certainly tend to rendcrsolld the foundation!
of pcoco, public prosperity nnd tho Institu
tions of the geuoral government.
The publishers ot this paper, recognising all
this, havo decided to furnish Its readers with
a series of designs and plans for houses of va
rying cost, from tho cottngo of a few hundred
dollars' cxpenso to thoclegaut villa. It Is ox
pocted that tho plans will combine economy,
convenience and beauty, Thoy havo liecn so
looted from a number of standard sources
aud an estimate of cost will be given In each
caso, though this Is an element that mustnoc
essarily vary greatly hi different localities.
Tasteful Frame Collage.
This plan Is taken from n haudsomo little
pamphlet entitled "Artistic Homes," Issued
by the National Building Flan association of
YEItSrECTIVE VIEW.
Detroit, Mich., a publication from which we
shall draw quite liberally. Tho estimated cost
of tho completed building is fOOO, nnd it is de
scribed as follows in the book of plans: First
story, 0 feet high In tho clears cellar, 11 feet.
First story contains sitting room, 15x10 feet;
(OWE
LIVING.
ROOM
SITTINcl I
ROOM J I
isaft lm. UmiQ
CHAMBER I
I
fxoort rLAjiB.
living room, 13x15, with pantry. Attio story
contains two large bedrooms. Cellar under
living room.
Two Story Frame Dwclllur-.
These plans aro from "Artistic Homos," by
tho National Building Plan association, De
troit: rEHSr-ECTIVE VTEW.
Framo Two Story Dwelling Height of
stories in tho clear first, 10 foot; second, 0
feet 0 inches. Cellar, 0 foot C iuches. First
story contains hall, 7x11; parlor, 12x14; dln-
FIRST FLOOR.
lng room, 12x14: kitchen. I!!xl4: nontrr and
china closet. Second story contains three
oou rooms, nuout 13x14 each, with large
bltCO.VD FLOOR.
closets. Firbt blory, clapboards; second
Btwry, shingles.
EsUmatwl cost ofjbuildlng, f 1,500.
Had tlin Figure to -limv for It.
"You never loved me, John," sobbed, Mrs.
BUlus, hysterically.
Maria," exclaimed Mr. Hums, earnestly,
"younru ml.taken. If you will look back
over tho family ex tense account you w 111 find
that it cost us f,'i.b0 for reolrins rocking
chairs during the first three years of our mar
I led life," Chicago Tribune.
1 Am l.jlnc:, Fcypt, I.jinar.
I am lying, n?ypt. lying In my own iwcullar way;
I acquired the lublt lately, but I do It etery day.
Every morning to tho river w 1th my tackle I re
pair To beguile tho biwckled troutlet from his deep.
ieiniclu lair.
In the owning ou retnrnlnj I describe my vic
tim's size:
And I'm rtkunlu.', I'yit, roaming In a wilder
nest of tie.
Nebraska State Journal
New Itules.
Hotel Clerk (suspiciously) Yotir bundle has
couiu njart. May I ask what that queer
thing is I
Guer-t Tliis is a new patent lire escape I
always curry It, so In caso of Ilro 1 ca.r let
myself down from the hotel window. See!
Clrk (thtaightf ully) -I see. Our terms for
guests with uro escapes, sir, are Invariably
cosh in advance. New York Weekly.
A I'ureutul Admonition,
Stern Parent Johnnl, I'm informed, that
you use a great dual of slung. Is it true!
"Yes, sir."
"Aud I have cautioned you ogainst the
vulgar habit scores of times. I ouce more
worn you tlutt If you persist hi using slang
I'll take that strap from tho wall aud you'll
flud yourself in the soup." Lincoln Journal.
Quick lo Art.
Smith I've Just taken borne of Dr. Quack's
medicine; thought I'd try n new doctor. Do
yoTTknow much u'out blml
Jones Yes, a little, A friend of mine look
some of Ins un heme once,
'Did, eh! Wu It quick to act I"
"Oh, yes, th. re was crape on the door next
' i.ornlnal.-Ncv Yens Suu.
I pAfltPf 0l,0N(Jt
HALL J
?JA,ZZ
n n t
CrjANjBEr I
l CHVBEf ! CHAMBER 1
fiswnwsj mSa pfsu i B
J Ir Ir S