I PROFESSIONAL CARDS. ATTOUnKY.AT.LAW, Offiok Front Room, Ovor'l'ostofilco. IttiOOMBUUKO, PA. J II. MA1ZK ATTOUNMY.AT.riAW, OKKioK.--Uoom No. a, Columbian building. Jan.S0thl8s8,tf. ' ATTOUNKY-AT-LAW. omce In Knt's Building, BLOonsinaa,FA J OIIN M. CLAUK, AT TORN K Y-AT-L AV AMD JUSTICE OF THE peace. Bloomiidbo, l'l omce over Moyer Bros. Drue Store. Q W.MILLER, ATTOItNBY.AT.Uw, omce la Brower's bulldlng.socond noor.room No.l Bloomsburg, Pa. B, FRANK ZARR, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. Bloomsburg, Pa. omce corner of Centre And Main Streets. Clark a Itutldlnir. Can bo consulted In German, G EO. E. EL WELL ATTORN EY-AT-LAW, iiLooueuuua. I k. Ofllco on second floor, third room of Col umbian Building, Main street, below Er- cuangc lioici. pAUL E. WIRT, Attorney-at-Law. Office In Columbiim Buildixo, Third floor. BLOOMSBURG, PA. S. V. WHITE, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, B L OOMSBURO.PA. Ofilco'ln blowers' Building, 2ml.floor. may l.tt ,'XHOliH. 1 1. WINTIRSI1IX. KNORR & WINTERSTEEN, AttorriovH-nt-Tjaw. omoeunnt National Dank building, second, noor, first door to tho left, corner ot Main and Market sireoifl uioomsourg, pa. VBPcimon$ and EountUt Collected. Jp I. BILLIIEYER, (DISTJUCT A TTOliiflU Y.) ATtORNEY-AT-TAto. CTOillco over Pcntlcr's shoo .store, Bloom9hurg, Fa. npr-30.86. y. II. RIIAWN. ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. K-'j-.a. -. -tA DCat&vruua, Pa. onoe.eorner of Tnlrd and Main Streets jJIOUAEL F. EYERLY, Conveyancer, Collector of Claims. And. . LKOAL ADVICE IN THE! SETTLEMENT OF nrofflco In Dentier's buiWlng with F. P. lilil meyer, attorney-at-law, front looms, 2nd floor isioomBuur?, ra. iLir-ij-a. D It. U0N01LAA. BOBBINS. Office and residence. West First street. Blooms- Dure, ra hoy. 30 iy. JB. McKELVY, M. Bourgeon . stolan, north sido Main street, tele andPhy below Market D R. J. 0. RUTTER, PHYSICIAN BURGEON, omce, North Market street, Bloomsburf , Pa rit. WM. M. ItEBEIl Bureeon am Lf Physician. Offlco corner otltock and Markot ireet. ESTABLISHED 1ST0. J J. BROWN. X , v., PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Ottlce and restdenco on Third street sear. Metho dist church. Diseases otthe 670 a specialty, EXCHANGE HOTEL. vV. R. TUBBS, PROPRIETOR BLOOUSBUBQ, FA. OPPOSITE OOUHT HOUSE. Laree and convenient sample rooms. Bath room) hot and cold water; and all modern conveniences, TTV F. UARTMAK miraiaixTS tdi roixowixa AMERICAN INSURANOE'COMFANIES North American ot Philadelphia. Franklin, " " Pennsylvania, " " York, ot Pennsylvania. Hanover, of N. Y. Sueens, of London. orlhBrttisb, ot London. Offlee on Markot street, No. 0, Bloomsburg. oct.st, 1- ire ESTABLISHED 1869. UI. P. LUTZ (Successor to Freos Brown) AGENT AND BKUKBlt Coupaniis bifbissktsd: Assets .AtnaFlrelns.co., of nartford,,. 9,523,aMil)l Hartford c Uartford t,2Htt,tm.vi I'hoenix of Hartford. .... 4,1 ?8'468.1S sprtneflald of Springfield... 8,oi9,903.Wi Fire Asaoclauon, Philadelphia 012,78X29 Guardian of London so,M3,saa.7l Phoenix; of London 6,931,M3.48 Lancashire of EnglandlU. B. branch) l,eii,vs.O) lloyal of England " " 4,8M,5M.OO Mutual ucni'nt Life Ins. Co. ot New. ark, N.J.. 41,379,858 33 Losses promptly adjusted and paid at this offlee. IRE INSURANCE "CHRISTIAN F. KNAPP, BLOOMSBDKO.PA. I k i J ir nu vr "v MBRCtUNTS', OF NEWAKK, N. J. O LINTON. N. Y. PKOl'LKS'N. Y, HKADINU, PA. (IKUMAN AMEltlCAN INS. CO..NEW YOKE. CIliEKNWICll INa CO., NEW YOHK. JEUHBY CITY FIHE INS. CO., JEltSEY ThoseoLD' coaroaATiOMS ao weUseaaaAedbj atfe and nm TisriD and have never 'yet had a loss settled by any court of law. Their assets are all invested In soun sicvsinia are Uabletothe hazard of riui only. " Losses rHOMPTLv and hovkstly adjusted and ald as soon as determined by Cuhistiim r. knrr, iricuL AaiHr axb ADJCiTiaULooMUUso, Pa.' The people ot Columbia county should1 patroa. lis the agency where losses It any are settled and sail by one of ther own citizens. FKOMPTNESS. EOD1TY, FAIR DKALTNO. ry n. house, DENTIST, IkooMsuDita, Columbia County, Pa All stylea ot work donein a superior manner.'work warranted as represented. Tiitu Kiraicr. id without Paid by the use of uas, and free of charge when artinclalteetb arelneerted. nfflrriln TJarton'a tiulldlne. Main street, below' Market, live doors below Klelm's a rug store, nrst noor, Jo It open at all houri during the da N0VI8.UT Exchange Hotel, BENJON, PA. The undersigned has leased this well-known houxei and Is prepared to accommodate the publlo Wlin ail me conveniences ui unvuiua uvuu. SJraajfc71 IEMUKI. DP A EE, Proprietor. CHILDBIRTH W AIinimi'l.lMlllCll. K.arr Iftdf .heuldlft.w. D ERSIAN BLOOM, tut Ctcilititi lux l.r, Bklo Out. ud bl.ujUh KtUlwlw kun, B4 iuu tot tit&ii, AIIimuiUk, novgan.c&coly. HuS.r.nD. UAKEll 11KM. CO .Bat iO BB.I..W.Y. GET YOUR JOB PRINTING DONE AT THE COLUMBIA OFFICE j'x 'BITTUKBiKl)I!B,r"Pr,to' kl Pianos ! M fa!! D S A.NDrUS $ CO., HEADQUARTERS FOR Stein way, Solinicr, Kranieli & It.icli Fischer, Emerson, Pease PIAMi AND THE CELEBRATED Wilcox & White Organs. tTPlanOS lined ftnil Tfonnlrnil livrnm. pctcnt workmen, Send for Catalogues. 21 WEST THIRD ST., Williarasport, Pa. W. C. SLOAH & BRO. BLOOMSBURG, PA. Manufacturers of . .CARRIAGES BUGGIES, PHAETONS. SLEIOHS, PLATFORM WAGONS AC Flrat-ciass' work always on hand, ( REPAIRING NEA 1LY DONh. Prieet reduced to tuit the timet : Business men who havo tried It And It greatly to their advantage to have Account Books made to order, to suit their special needi Every kind ot Blank Book, with or wlthoutprlnted headings, Check Books and Killed Blanks I make In the best manner at honest prices. Unexcelled facilities for Numbering, Kyletfng, perforating, Punching and Ntamnlntr. W ork for countv ana borouch ofllccs especially solicited. Miscellaneous Book Binding ot tho highest class. Missing magazines supplied. Muuiaiia auu pariiciars,cuevriuuy lurniauuu. J. W. RAEDER, 7 and 9 Market St., WILKES-BARRE. seplMyctbro. Spring Specliafies AT Light Colored Cheviots in and 4-Biitton CUTAWAY WITH LOW CUT VESTS. Fine Dark Blue and .Black Worsteds, Corkscrew, Broadr wale Diagonal and Block Worst ed in Sacks and Cutaways, and HANDSOME a special leailer at $5.d6 Very Pretty Children's Plain or pleated and Lelted in dark and light colors. PRINCE ALBERTS iii all qualities. NICE LIGHT SPRING Sailor Butt with Blue and Gray, also, KILT with Pleated Skirt for smaller Children AT INSURANCE AGENCY OF J. II. MAIZE, OIllco 2nd floor Columbian Building, BLOOMSBURG, PA. LIFE. vnrthwfHitirn Mflsnnio Aid rAsflocIatloii. mem ttera4l,f4l ruM to tiiorlclurleall.J.ci-n. la- BUR'S non juaaous. Truvelora Ute and Accident ot Hart lori. FIRE. CONTINENTAL Of New York, W,!S8,M.8 A MEl (JUAN of Philadelphia, H-22!W'!S NIAOAHA of New York. ,,,, UmT.M Liverpool, London and Globe Flro Insurance Co., of London, the lareest lu Ue world, and the Im perial ot London. . Ji. Ubersl share of the business la respectfully ijucua asa sausiaciion guariuivw. 3. H. MAIZE, Agent. June 1, lees, U LOWEIERG'S SACK SUITS, OVERCOATS, lie CROWN AC1JIJE THE BEST BURNING OIL THAT CAN BE MADE FROM PETROLEUM. It gives a brilliant light, 11 win not sinoko the chimneys. It will not char tho wick. It has a high lire test. It will not explode It Is pre-eminently a family safety OIL WE CHALLENGE COMPARISON b Vt Itn any other lllumlnat lng oU mado. We Stake Our Reputation, As refiners, upon tho statement that ll Is THE BEST OIL IN THE WORLD. Ask your doaler for CROWN ACME. UliU Jl C1M11. Trado for Bloomsburg and Vicinity Supplied by MOYER BROS., Bloomsburg, Pa. sepny, CLOTHING I CLOTHING I G. W. BERTSCH, THE MERCHANT TAILOR. Gents' Furnishing Coods,Bals & Caps OF EVERY DESCRIPTION. Suits mado to order at short notioc and a fit always guaranteed or no sale. Call and examine the largest and best selected stocK ot goods ever shown in Columbia county. Btore next door to First National Bank, MAIN STREET, Bloomsburg Pa This InRtltuMnn la n hlirh 'orin leee, giving instruction In overy department of vuuuvoo vub.uu. ju uuuiiiou io tne regular Straphy, Type-wrlUng, Teleirraphy, and ornaraen tal 1-enmanshlp. The prominent feature of the Commercial Course is Its practical character. Nean every set of books has been taken from urai-LiutH DHsincss csiaDiisnments, and a lanre proportion of the course In book-keeping Is made up from our system of actual busincsn nnniw unsurpasbed In the sclentlflo application to mod crn business methods. A lanr proportion ot our eroduates regularly obtain ttrsucfass positions w.Uu..uu.nuj uluci wuiuicrciui college m me sute. ear begins Aug. S9, 1681). For circulars uu,u3 , i, uKAn. iTincinan July 97 8t Klngaton, Pa, to (toi.t.i::i: or coni.iiintcn, llullalu..N.V.rCliirLnllu.hH'Hii Cullej(i', i:rir, I'n., tor cir culant. Thebftit n,l ch.apeflt r!iH.t. in AiiierlLO, Actu.l buBiDusnlotercbanuB. Roliitlkr. Cruluaiel ne.ittt ti pt!tton. Mentiou till, pilwr. iMitfciw X'i;icjci7 rroprli'tur.. aug 3-d-4t. ftTTTJC! IllVOLVEIl. send stamp for price list U U IN O to JOHNSTON & son, llttsburg, l'enn. Hay Fever CataIrhH 1 an inrtmaed con tfon oftheUnfua in- IWIV1C Orarw of the imntrfts tfiar-ductA and thro a Ttie acrid dlschar frM accomiMiuied with a mini mg e n a 1 1 u h. TTiere are severe spasms of sneezing, rHAVFEVERj frequent attacks of Injtamen eyes. Try the cure, ELY'S HAY-EEVER A oartlclo Is annlied into each nostril and Is agreeable. Price w cents at Druggists; by mall, registered, so cts. ELY BltOTIlKns. M Warren Btreet, New York. aug S-d-iu J.R. SMITH & CO. LIMITED. MILTON, Pa., Oealbks IN PIANOS, By tho following well known makers; Cliickcrinsf, Knabc, Weber, Ilallct & Davis. Can also furnish any of the cheaper makes at manufacturers prices. Do not huy a piano be fore getting our prices. .'.o. Catalogue and Price Lists On application. BcptS-Mtf. y-AlNWMCMT & CO., WHOLESALE GROCERS, I'illLADBLI'lIIA, I'A.H TEAS, BYRUl'S, COFFEE, SUUAlt, UOLASBEb lliOB, B110K8, BlOAliU BOIU, BTO., ETO. N. E. corner socond and Arch Bts. vordors will receive prompt attentloa MARVELOUS MEMORY DISCOVERY. Any book learned In one reading, Mind wandering cured. Bseaklng without notes. Wholly unlike artlflclal systems. Piracy condemned by Supreme Court. Great Inducements to correspondence classes. Prospectus, with opinions of Dr. Win. A. nam. mand, the world-famrd bpcclallst in Mind dla. eases, Daniel Grecnleat Thompson, the great I'sy chologlst, and others, sent post frvo by I'rof. A. L01SETTE, !SJ7 Finh Ave., New York. all dlt 1rtA COnnA 3i)NTllcanboma)e 3)lWf to 4JUU working tor us. Agents pre ferred tft& con furnish their owu horces and give theLMvEiie time to the business. Spare moments mayVo profitably employed alsa A tew vacan. cles In towns and cities. B. F, Jounson Co. Win Main Bt., IUchmohd, Vo. June H-Mt. BLOOMSBUHG, PA., FRIDAY, AUGUST 28, Some Devices of Freaks- (JUEKK INVENTIONS IN TIIK PATENT Ot-1- KICK WHICH AltE USKI.EdS. W. A. Oroffut Kives tho followinc interesting nccount of Rotno odd pat- outH in tho js. x. worm : Concrcsa ia about an full of cranks a? the Inventors' guild is. If anything could get a hearing in tho House, nt tho present tunc, an appiopnation to expei iment in perpetual motion would havo a good chance. It is not so many years smco Congress appropriated $JU,- 000 to cnablo Robert Unsbano to demonstrate his "grand project'' of transporting goods by rolling iron sphorcs through a pneumatio tube. IIu uog a uuep linen mini wo vupiiui w the Publio Printing Ofllce, half a mile, began to build a brick oylinder in it and then applied to Uoncress tor more money. This request was declined, and Henry Wilson, l'resident ot tho sen ate, laughingly said, "All I want to know is whether there is monoy enough left to fill up tho hole." This proved to bo tho case, tho contractor tilled tho hole, and Brisbano tilled tho circumambient air with curses and left. Tho House Committee on ventilation last month voted to encourago ono Du Bois, to build a vast llying-machiuo, COO feet long and 100 feet wido that is, it voted that if bo should build such a vchiolo and provo its utility to the Secretary of tho Navy ho should tbon be reimbursed the total amount of iU cost up to $7i,000. It was not very reckless offer. Du Bois applied for a patent, and Commissioner Hall straictit woy refused it on the ground that thero is nothing now about tho contrivance, except its great xize, and this would only increase tho magnitude of it' failure. I saw tho crank to day wan dering around the lobbies of tho Houso to "get another hearing." S. S. Cox sa)s tho JJu liois balloon ought to go up in tho Hois de Jloulogne. Every week, from some direction, comes to the pa'cnt otlico an applica tion for a patent for perpetual motion, for thero is abroad through tho land an unfounded rumor that tho Govern ment has offered n million dollar for tho discovery of such a device. No contradiction corrects tho impression, any more than it does tho equally pre posterous delusion that somebody has offered to pay SI 00 for a million pos lago stamps. When each now claim for perpetual motion arrives Commis sioner Hall merely writes back: "Please file a working model and your applica tion will be considered." This always puts a stop to it, for tho model never works. The Commissioner showed mo yes terday two old volumes, "Perpetuum Mobile,'' a chronicle of the various de vices for perpetual motion. Tho first were mado two thousand years ago, and sinco that time tho delusion has stumbled through so many complicated failures that all governments are justi fied in doing what tho French Aca demy did as early as 1775 refuso to consider any invention which claims to givo power without an equivalent ex penditure of energy. This is tho place to say that Mr. Hall gives greater sat isfaction than any other Commissioner tho Patent Office has had for many years. Ho is not a trained expert in patents, as ho ought to be, but ho has good practical sense, quick perception, patience and impartiality, and a regard for justico that is generally acknowl edged. OTIIEK CRA7.Y SCHEMES. Application was mado some time ago from Kentucky for a patent for "tying a weight of specilio gravity to a cows tail to keep her from switching it when you aro milking." Tho ingenious rustic failed to de cline) specifio gravity, and ho was very much surprisod to get an answer from tho examiner : "Patent refused. Idea old. Seems to be virtually tho samo as that invented by tho Squire of Spain's most famous knight. Whon the inulo brayed and disturbed hia sleep Sancho Panza noticed that it al ways elevated its tail simultaneously, so he tied a weight of spocifio gravity to tho mules tail so that tho sleep of Don (Quixote was disturbed no more. An odd patent has been granted to shut the moth miller out of beehives. A rural observer noticod that, by some curious provision of nature, tho moth miller got into beehives at tho very time chickens went to roost. He acted accordingly, and bis device makes tho weight of tho chickens when they lly to the roost, closo a gato at tho month of tho beehives, which effectually ex cludes tho moth. Tho inventor thought iully Bays, in his application: "But I oxpect that, after a time tho miller may get sense enough to keep watch of thu chickens and como in a fow min utes oarlior.'1 An applicant for a gas patent pro poses to raako gas by "heating air red hot!" A funny patent, for which thero is not an extensivo salo, is n spiral spring for mules' feet, to clevato the animals ciht inches from tho ground. This is for use only in war, and enables a howitzer to bo fired from a mule's back without breaking his legs by tho re coil. It is said to till a inulo with as tonishment and to mnko him seasick. FAItMERS OET IN 1HE1K W0I1K. Another patent, actually granted, somowhat analagous to this, is for stilts for a horso. Thoy aro adjustable, and can bo fastened on two legs of n horso on tho samo side, "ho as to plough with tho animal on a sido hill I'' Tho opin ion of tho horso concerning the value of this invention is not on fiio. In ono of tho oases of thu Patout Office is a ('tape worm trap," for which a patent was granted. It provides for bailing a hook in a peculiarly seductivo man ner aud artfully lowering it down tho throat of tho atlliolcd person. Tho de partment did not insist on scoing It in action. Tho agricultural contrivances aro very numerous, and some of them aro so ingenious as to suggest that tho In ventor nuiBt havo sat in tho warm cor ner of tho flro placo and thought about them all winter. Ono farmer has uti lized a horse's slop by fastening a corn planter to each of bis foro feet, so that in driving him across tho ftold ho will punch tho seed into the ground and cover it at overy step all day, for his boots ate filled with corn. Another presents a curious combina tion of war and iieaoo iu "tho cannon plough," tho iroh plough-beam boing hollow and charged with a cannon ball, so that if Cinoinnatus ia attaokod by tho Equi in tho open field ho may merely touch off tho plough-handhs and scatter dismay and destruction nmo.ig tho advancing enemy. But in this valitablo device, as in so many others, tho bruto creation aro lost sight of, and there ecoms to bo no arrango mcnt for suddenly wheeling tho unsus pecting mulo around out ot tho way of tho posterior grapo shot. This omission should bo remedied before tho remark nble combination plough is brought in to general use. A patent exists for mounting u houso on wheels so that it may bo turned around on n circular track, tho bonefit being that overy part of tho residence is thus alternately brought to tho fron gate, and the sun, which is notorious ly limited to a semi-circuit, is mado to shino into every window iu spitoof the laws of tho solar systems. 1 am sorry to report that this 'patent is nearly "tun out, and that if pooplo with cavernous and darksome rooms would tako ad vantage of it they must do so without delay. 1'AIENT AGAINST EARTHQUAKES. Thoro is a patent for putting springs under a houso to keep an earthquake from tumbling it down by tho inven tor of tho how kzcr-rcsisling mulo. Thero is a patent for sinking a steam boiler so deep in tho earth that tho great heat would generato steam for uso on tho surfaco thus avoiding ex plosions and saving fuel. It is tho opinion of somo geologists that suf ficient heat for UiU would bo obtained at a depth of about thrco miles. Worthy of notico hero is tho scheme for supplying cities with milk. Tho inventor proposes to lay a complete system of pipes, fill them with water to keep them pure and cool, and let in milk at tho end 1 This would seem to bo a caso of incidental protection for tho producer. An application was made for a pat ent for "a devico to enable a dog to turn a short corner,'' but it is yet bung up in tho Patent Office on account of doubts as to its utility. Tho inventor said ho had noticed that a dog, in turn ing a corner rapidly, always projected his tail in an opposite direction, striv ing thus to overcome tho momentum. This claimant claims a palm leaf fan so tied to a dog's tail that it will oper ate vertically, and thus enable him more readily to alter bis courso. A curious patent lias beeu granted "to enablo trains to avoid collisions." It provides that ono train shall bo sup plied with a prolonged inclined cow catcher in front and rear, so that tho, other train appearing unexpectedly, in stead of telescoping, will run right up on tho top of it and over on to thu lovol track at tho other end 1 Tho in ventor is now cudgeling his brain to decido which train shall bo the climber and which tho dumb. Tho depart ment did not demand tho production of a working model nor tho peiform anco of tho feat. Another curious patent is a stupend ous swing to bo eloyated above tho railroad depot, containing such passen gers as desire to tako tho next express train, whioh does not stop. When tho train is sighted, the swing is oscillated, and when it goes thundciing under neath tho swing moves gently in tho direction tho train is going and quietly spills the passengers into the cars. This invention has not yet been tried, and tho report that Commissioner Hall has applied for a front seat in tho swing at tho first trial is entirely unfounded. 1'ORTAULK FOOT-WARM Kit. A now foot-warmer that attracts some attention in a showcaso is a forked rubber tubo teat runs down over tho chest and down the pantaloons legs and into tho boots. Tho method of conveying caloric to the lower extremities is tho revels of complicated. Tho wearer simply b.ows in o tho top of the tubo. Dr. Mary Walker has taken out a patent to teach children to spell by the uso of rebuses and conundrums. Ono of ho c i ous patents of recent vcars is a woo cii cat covered with luminous paint to scaro away rats, whether real cats aro apt to bo phos phorescent at night, tho rats havo not yet reported. An application was recently mado for "a machin to manipulate numbers for a creation of values.'' Careful ex amination of it showed a now gambl ing device. A patent for a church collection-box was takon outbv a Methodist deacon of Connecticut recently. It is so construc ted that tho surfaco box instantaneo usly turns over, depositing each coin into a lower box. This provents mon oy being taken out of tho box, and it exposes thoso who pretend to make an "offering' but do not, for the gesturo is not followed by tho imglo. An odd and valuablo invention has recently been mado to hermetically seal up livo fish for transportation. It has lone; been known that hsh would die in a very fow days if tho water was exposed to tho air, but just now, for tho first timo in the h'lBtory of the world, it has been discovered that thov will livo in tho samo water for weeks and perhaps months if closoly sealed up air-tight. Tho slot machines, which, "move if you drop in a nickel," instead of hbing now, as generally thought, woro in uso 2,000 years ago and doled out holy water at the Tcnipio ot Diana. Thero is a heap of troublo in Louis ana between a Baptist parson and ono of his Hock, each claiming to bo tho discoyerer of tho effioaoy of a chalk mark around a, tablo leg to provout ants ascending. It is contondod that tho ant dovelops formio acid and when ho encounters tho chalk tho contact is followed by instant effervescence and an explosion. Harriet Hosmor, tho sculptor, an liod hero for a patent for perpetual motion thirty-years ago. Occasionally somo such dovioo cots past a sleepy ex aminer, as, for instanco, tho patent for a propollor scrow turned by the water at tno bow ot a ship and turning a wheel nt tho stem to movo tho ship. riieso aro called in tho department "hnU-past-two-o clock patont. I haven't timo t-i tro anv further in this dirootion, but to tho inquisitive correspondent tho Patont Office is a min.i ot gold. Conductor Heavens, Mosol why do you want to bene youiselft Suicidal Porter Hnin't I got 'nuff to mako enny man hang h'so'f. Thar s twinty-fo' par's' ob shoes in dis kvar. an' nineteen am russet leather, wbilolo res amowneuuy wimmen, Jf airffoll, yam worm, rso gwino homo. 1888. Do They Love the Laborer? WI1A1 CLASS 1)0 THE RKI'Ulll.lCANS SYM PATHIZE WITH t From tho rbllalolphla Record. As if wholly conscious and half ashamed of his position rs tho advocato and the npologibt of legalized spolia tion and robbery Blaino cxolalmcd to tho crowd in Koston : This is a fight for tho strong arms nnd tho sturdy hearts of tho American laborers. Who aro theso laborers concerning whose arms and hcartB Mr. Blaino is so FolicitousT Not tho carpenters, blacksmiths, ma sons, plasterers, butchers and bakers t Theso workingmen know the tariff only in its extortions. Not tho telegraph operators, tho railroad engineers, firemen nnd switch tenders t Tho tarifl cannot add a cent to their earnings. JNot tbo lumbermen of tho west nor tho fishermen of New England t For tneso laborers aro aliko in tho grasp ot tariff-fed ti lists. Who, then, aro tho laborers whom Mr. Blaino is so anxious to protect T Ho does not mean tho S-a-wcek Hun garians in tho Pnosaio woolen mills of that eminent ptotectionist, Mr. E. II. Ammidown T Nor can ho moan tho Fronch work ingmen imported by Claude Chaffangon tho millionaire silk manufacturer of Hudson, Now Jersey, who deducts each week one-tenth of .their pay until the cost of passago shall havo been recov ered t Nor can Mr. Blaino refer to "tho strong arms and tho sturdy hotrts" of tno roles and fioliennans over whom Piukerton's troops stood guard while their cheap labor was driving Ameri can workingmen out of tho steel mills of Andrew Carncgio T JNor to the fresh loads of contract Italian labor just lauded at Castle Gar den and on their way to tho anthracite mines of Pennsylvania t This impor tation of "American labor" is altogeth er loo recent to havo elicited Mr. Blaine's tender concern. Mr. Blaino cannot frighten any of these laborers by telling them that the factories and mines would be run at half wages if tho Mills bill should be passed. Tho protected monopolists who own tho mills and mines, nnd who pay not a farthing more than tho Cas tle Garden market rato for the raw material of human muscle, havo got the wage rato down to the starvation standard now, nnd cannot mark it down any lower. binco air. lilaino does not mean all nor any of theso laborers, for whom is ho making this tariff "fight t" Let him stand up in his noxt speecli and hon estly confess that ho is making this tight tor the lumber and salt trusts, for tho Bessemer steel ring, for the tin-plato association, for tho Caruegies, tor tho Atnraidowp, the Chaffangons and tho rest of the bone ficiaries of tariff spoliation I Let him raako a clean breast of it and admit that, from the day in which ho entered public mo down to tnis nonr, no lias never been on any sido but that of monopoly 1 Tho professions of sympathy for American workingmen of which ho and tho rest of tho tariff mountebanks aro so profuse aro only tho blind bo bind which thoy may more effectually do tho bidding of their monopolistic masters. When thoy talk of making a fight for "tho strong arms and sturdy hearts" of American laborers they aro adding cheap cajolery and insult to the injury which tho tariff inflicts upon overy workingmau in tho land. Theso strong arms and sturdy hearts need no such champions nnd no protection ex cept irom tantt greed and rapacity. Tho intelligent workingmen of this country aro quite ablo to penetrate tho disguises ot tho howling dervishes ot protect!on, aud to understand what in spires their sham frenzy of zoal in bo half of honest labor. When thoy un dertook to raako war upon so moder ate and so just a measure as tho Mills bill thoy betrayed their surviuty to monopoly and tho utter hollowness of their prctonses in behalf of working- men, b or tins and lor an tho rest ot all their tariff frauds and humbugs they are about to receive so tremendous a kick iu tho rear from tho American people as will knock tho talk out of them for manv vears to como. Why Wages are Low. KORCKl) EMIGRATION BRINGS HORDES OF l'AUPEKS TO OUR SHORES. New Yoric, August 10. Tho immi gration investigation was resumed in tho Westminster notel to-day. Tbcro were presont Uongressmeu rord, Oatcs, Guenther nnd Spinola. Tho first witness called was Julius Oppcnheimcr, manufacturer of cloaks ami suits. Ho said ho bad been in tho cloak and suit business for cloven years and usually employed 100 bands, in former years three-fourths of his employes wero females and to-day tho boxos aro about equally dividod. Tho wages paid at present wero 10 or 12 por cout. lower than ton years ago. Witness did not think tho decrcaso was duo to tho immigration of Poles. His lino of examination was suspecd I'd while Congressman Ford iutefroga- ted the witness as to thu reason why Marion Preston, who gave testimony beforo tho committee, was discharged. 'pi, .,.,(,:,... . .i... i.i. ... -wiu uAjiuuuiivu wuq uiui, ina punuur, Mr. Willinski, got excited after read ing tho ovidouco givou by Marion and, on tho impulso of tho moment and dis charged hor. Ho was Borry for it and would givo .i. t tt . -i ,1 , uiu gin wurK u buu wuuiua ll. tlo ou jectod to her making fnn of his part ners manner oi spoaKing. The most interesting tcstimonv civ on was that of Samuel Gonipers, presi dent of tho American Federation of Labor. IIo desciibed tho features of his organization and those of tho Cen tral Labor Union and tho Knights of Labor. Ho Baid tho Federation of La bor was composed of 5,00,000 mum berB. Four years ago tho persecution of tho Juwa iu Poland had driven thou sands of that raco to America. Thoy wero employed in tho cloak factories and cigar factories, whero thoy worked for very email compensation, Tho immigration from Hungary had reduc ed WAges among tho coal miners. Witness has been recently in tho coal mlncH of Pennsylvania aud thoro witnossed deplornblo poverty among tho miners. Alien minors demoralized wages by working for low pay. Tho THE COLUMBIAN, VOL. XXII NO 83 COLUMBIA DBMOOltAT, VOL 1.11, M- si Hungarians camo hero becauso tho coal barons advertiso for them In Eu rope. Witness defined tho phraci "pluck-mo' ns a storo where iniueis wcro compelled to buy supplies bo cnuso tho proprietors wcro interested in the store. Miners' wages had fallen fifty per cent., while coal was higji ns usual. Chairman Ford askod him his opin ion of tho present excessive immigra tion. Mb opinion summarized was ns follows: He considers unhealthy and forced immigration a curso to tho workingmen. Voluntary immigration he could not find any fault with. Ho cited an instanco when in 1881 tho ci-gar-makors working in tho cigar fao tory of Asherman & Co., of Milwatt kee, went on a Blriko that firm adver tised in tho Austrian newspapers for hands. Tho advertisements were high ly colored and stated how happy peo ple could livo nearMilwaukeo and havo good wapes. Tho witness said that many people camo from Bohemia upon reading theso advertisements May Fabrici, an Italian woman, tes tified. Her husband earns about fifty cents a day as a bootblack. On this his family of wifo nnd two children exist. Catherine Fabrici, hor sister-in-law, earns fifty cents a day as talloress working from 3 a. m. to midnight' Her husband is in Pennsylvania." When ho is away it costs them twenty" five cents per day to livo and when home fifty cents per day. Tho witneM testified that tbo Italian boss, John Moroni, employed about five hundred Italians on the West Chester Race Course, at Si. 20 a day. Ho charged a commission of $5 a head and mado them purchase all their necessaries lrom him. He oharg od tho Italians also fifty cents each a month for doctors' fees, but a never came near tho place them. doctor to SCO Oan't Stop Emigration. NO FUNDS TO KEEP CONTRACT LABORERS FROM LANDING. New York, August 17. nenry J. Jackson, superintendent at Castle Gar den, was tno first witness examined this morning by the Congressional immigration committeo at the West minister Hotel. Generally speaking, he said, tho immigrants had of late years been of a better class, moro in telligent and better fitted to succeed iu their newly adopted country thau tho immigrants in earlier times. This con clusion, of courso, applied to tho Eng lish speaking people, Germaus and bwciles; ho of course excluded thert from tho Italians, Bohemiaus aud Pol ish and Russian Hebrews, who had been coming over in such largo num bers the last two or three years. air. Jackson detailed to tbo oommit- teo at length the methods in voguo nt Castle Garden in handling tho immi grants, the examination and disposi tion of them, and tho precautions takon to prevent improper persons being al- lowoa to land permanently and bo ad mitted to tho country. IIo said 354 persous wero returned lpit year; that was all that ought to have returned so far as tho examination bv tho Castlo Garden authorities disclosed. NOT FUNDS ENOUGH TO 1)0 THE WORK. Mr. Jackson thought that tho Castlo Garden officials were not empowered to look after tho detention of immi grant brought over under contract. lfce Treasury Department had rtaues- ed tho authorities to tako steps toward having tho law in this ropcct observed. The witness had read some correspon euco with Secretary Fairchild on the subject. Mr. Fairchild requested tho harden authorities to do this.saving that his department was unable to under- tako the work because no appropriation had been mado to carry into effect tho law prohibiting tho importation of laborers under contract. The Castlo Garden officials witress said, had not sufficient funds to do this. Ho was of the opinion that an attempt to exo- cute tno law by asking immigrants if they came hero under coutract would bo farcical. Tho witness thotight tho law gov- erning the Castlo Garden authorities wob defective; the timo allowed tho officials to determino whether an immi grant should bo admitted was too short-, thoy could only detain an immi grant until tho return of the steamer on wnich ho or she camo out. generally about a weckj tho Collector of tho l'ort was tho official who ultimatlv decided whether an immigrant whoso right to be admitted was questioned should bo permitted to laud or not. WHO ARE CONSIDERED PAUPERS. Mr. Jackson said ho should not con sider an able-bodied farm baud, a man ablo to support himself by his labor, but who had no money, as a pauper ana tncrcioru iiabio to bo returned. IIo would profor bucIi a man to an ordin ary and perhaps physically weak clerk with $100 in his pocket- IIo thought ino lauei wouiu uo moro UEoly to be come a publio chargo than tho former. On tho averago ho thought tho immi grants arriving in this country of lato years wcro a better and moro intelli gent class than in former yeais. Tho immigrants did not briug on au aver age, as much monoy as formerly, uar. tioularly tho Gormansj the immigrants had, howovor, brought on nu averngo a total of S8.000.000 m monoy into tho country annually. The Slavs, Hungar ians and Poles woro not as desirablo immigrants in somo respects as thu pooplo of other nationalities, but thero was tins to bo Raid about them: thny novnr becamo a chargo ou tho Cattlu Garden authorities after their arrival! thoy found a refuge aud a living sonic- t.v.u nan uiuu uuilipilinuiH. TO KEEP CR1MINAIJI OUT, As to a practical Bcherao by which criminals could bo kept from landing. Mr. Jackson said tho best suggestion ho had ever heard on that subject was that three months' notice should bo given by all foreigners of their inten tion of coming to this country. Cap tain Francis W. Boll, a pilot of Boven teen years' oxporieuco, testified that ho had kuowledgo of tho practieo of two men in this city named Charles Look wood nnd William McKay m securing naturalization papers for natives of Nova Scotia, nud then plaoing them iu command of American vcsbcU within two weeks. Lookwood and McKay reoeivod 10 a head for tho service. Lookwood to'd witness ho was enabled to raako citizens in tho timo mentioned becauso of ins friendly relations with tho son of Judge Moore, of Brooklyn. William McKay, n ship chandler, acknowledged that ho had secured tialnrlization papers for Eva I Evans and ono Nuller, both Nova Scotians, Ihi knew a Brooklyn man named Ross, who had bom a doputy shorlff and who had aided l imiu securing natural izations papers Irom Judgo Moore for men in whoso behalf ho had sworn. Ho declared that hu never rccolvod a feo for his services when ho went to Judgo Moore's court lo sccuro naturli- zation papers lor his menus. Survival of the Flttost. WOMEN THROl cllPOl-r TIIK UNITED STATES HAVE LUNOKIt LIVES THAN MEN. Professor S'anford E. Challic, dean il tho medical faculty of Tulano Uni versity, says I hat in most parts of tho United States women havo a better ex pectation of life than men; they livo longer and survlyo w ith moro tenacity and success tho vicissitudes that lend to shorten Existence. Tho 1'icaynne has heretofore dis cussed as n possibility, in viow of tho constantly increasing surplus of wo men over tho numbers of men, that a state of society analogous to that at tributed to tho Am zons of antiquity might again occur. Here a learned physiologist presents a formidable array of figures to show that in tho struggle of lifo thu softer sex starts out with decided advantages of immunity from tho assaults of death as compared with tho males; that tho women havo better chances for development in nil that makes up Bane, sound and vigor ous life. In a word, tho men aro on tho down grade of health and morals, whilo tho women possess ad that con duce to their physical nnd moral super iority. Lot us quoto tho wordi of our sjientist: Tho expectation of lifo for females is in overy locality better than for males, but tho differonco in favor of females varies greatly, and to an ex tent inexplicablo by mo. Tho super iority ot white females over males is greatest, and very great in New Or leans and Charleston; it is. a little in Boston, Brooklyn and Now York, and it is very slight and least in Now Jer sey and Massachusetts. Tho fourteen localities lake, in reference to this s , periority of females over males, tho fol lowing order: Now Orleans, Charles ton, Cincinnati, San Francisco, St Louis, Chicago, Philadelph'o, District of Columbia, Baltimore, Now York, Brooklyn, Boston. Massachusetts, Now Jersey. Another singular fact is that whilo thero is a slight superiority in Massachusetts of tho females over tho males, yet the males hayo tho superior ity from 2 to 10 years of ago and that this male superiority is found in no other locality. Why is all this possible T Our author replied : Females are, in less number, guilty of vicious and hurtful excesses ; thoy aro moro confined in tho houso and en gaged in less hazardous occupations, and thereby thoy aro less exposed to communicable diseases, lo inclemencies of weather and to dangerous accidents. But theso obvious causes, whilo ex plaining in part, fiil to do so in whole. For at no timo is the superiority of females as great as under 5 years of age, and such fomales arc no more ox posed than males to the abovo causes. For Fuch reasons, vital Btatisticans havo claimed that nature endowed tho female with a strongor vitality, with greater vi'.nl endurance, and if there be better explanation I do not know it. We aro to believe, then, that while women ar, in obedienco to subtlo forces of evolution, growing physicial ly moro perfect, and this would seem also to includo advancement toward moral perfection, tho men aro declin ing in all vilal characteristics. Tho women aro growing constantly moro beautiful and more numerous, whilo tho men aro in a corresponding ratio to retiro irom tho world thoy havo for so many ages dominated and controlled. By theso mysterious potential acenoies tho men aro dying, fading out of exis tence, and their last despairing gaze is to bo fixed on a raco of goddesses, "divinely tall and most divinely fair," crowding upon tho stago whero tho tremendous tragedy of "Man and Wonian" has been so long enacted, but now to bo superceded by the in expressibly peculiar aud unknownablo drama, "Woman. ' It is to this ending that all tho mus ty figures and dry bones of science presented abovo inevitably tend. It is tho consummation ot an implacable law which is destiny, deelaring tho survival of tho fittest. It portends a grand fu ture for woman, but it is much to bo douted if Evo can bo happy in Para- diso without Adam. A woman went into a big drv-goods houso tho other day to buy material for a gown, one selected, alter a good deal of fussing, a gingham costing 12 cents a yard. "How many yards aro thoro in tho piecol" sho asked- "Thero aro eleven," the clerk answ ered, after counting. "I will tako ten," she said. Ho suggested that dio tako tho whole piece, but sho insisted that ho should cut off ten yards, and this was accordingly done. "That is a remnant, I suppose!" sho said interrogatively, taking up the odd yard, as ho folded tho goods. "Yes, ma'am." "You Boll remnants oheaper, don't you!" "Sometimes," tho clerk said laconi cally. "What will yon tako for this!" "Twelve cents.'' "But that was just what I paid for tho piece." "Yes, but I haven't any authority to mark goods down." "Couldn't you send tho cash boy to find tho man that does mark them down bo as to see what ho would take?" tho customer asked anxiously. "Just now," tho clerk replied, with a wicked wink to a brother clork, "ho is at his diuncr, and I don't think ho'll bo in to-day." "And you couldn't mark it down yourself and tell him about itl" "No," tho clerk said, smiling aggra vnlingly. "I couldn't really.'' "Well," tho woman said with a sigh, " then i m uio ultul Borry I had it cut, for I'll havo to havo that yard any way, oven if I do havo to pay 12 cents for it. Ten ards wouldn't possibly do. But I ain't used to paying full prico for remnants." Tho clerk put tho odd yard in and what tho woman told her dressmaker ia unfortunately uot on record. Loo C.wiiNS wero strong holds of love, contentment, health and happiuess. Coou skins wero nailed to tho door and they ero tho happy homes of strong. healthy, noblo men and wcincii, Tho siuiple but effective rcmulics which carried them to groin old ago aro uow reproduced iu Warner's "Tippecanoe," nnd Warner's Log Cabin Sarsapanlla and othor Log Otibln Remedies.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers