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COLUMBIA DEMOCRAT, flTAR OP Tint, NORTH, And CO-
ImuciI Wrclily, crrr I'rlilny Mnrnlnir, nt
:nL00M8Duna, comjmma co., im.
at two norxAtts por year. To subscribers out of
fw-M lit iu naranco,
ftr Ho paper discontinued except nt tiio option
tho tiufil Mprs. until nil ni-mi,..!,. J .....
All papers sent out of the stato or to distant poH
ofllcon must bo paid form advance, unlcis a rcinon
jtblopcraon In Columbia county assumes to i pay
tho siibscrlption duo on demand. "u"' w pa'
nUieSoom!tj?n01ongcrexil:tea 'rom sutecrll"'
JO B PR IN TIN Or.
Tho.tobblnff Dcpartmcntof tho ComjmiSian Is Terr
complete, and our ,!ob IYIntlnswIUcomnarofavor
ably wltli tlintot tliolftrRccltlM. Allworlc clnno nn
short notlco, noatly and at moderate prices.
0. E.ELWEMj, i - . . .
J. E BITTEWBEND2I5, 1 pprIotors.
BLOOMSBUEG, PA., FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12, 1883.
THE COLUMBIAN, VOL. XVII, NO 41
COLUMBIA UBMOCnAT, VOL.XLVII. NO 31
T K. WALLKU,
ATTO ItNE Y-AT-L A W,
omen over IsU National l.ank. lnoon Pn'
Rjes op DEtXISINq.
one Inch fit") MM tarn
Two Inches ..... oo 4rt too
Three iwnia .... 4 on sen
I'oiirlnclies 600 too
tjuancr column.. Bin
100 II 00
111 ro vooo
roo 10 no mm tisnn
llalf column..... loOO 14 00 17 mi m on rooo
unecolumn toon jjoo so 00 M(N 10000
YenrlVflflrertlfiomenls tintnhlftniiAt-trrlr. Tr.n.
slent nrtvertlvmenL, must tie imld for before I nnrn.
i d except whero panics have accounts.
Lriral ndvertlscmtnu two dollars per Inch for
thros insertion,, and at that rata for additional
Insertions without rcf crenco to length.
Executor'. Ailmlnlstratnr'H. and Aiiilltnr's not Ices
thrco dollars. Must Do paid tor when nscrUM.
Transient or Local notices, ten cents a line, regu
lar advertisements half rates.
Card., In I lie 'nuslneM Directory" column, ono
dollar a year for each line.
M- U. FUNK,
omco In Enl's llulldlntf.
p It. IIUOKALHW,
onioo over 1st National Dank.
JOHN M. CIAIUC,
JUSTIOK OF THE PEACE.
Oltlco over Slojer llros. Drug Storo.
OfTlco In Browcr's bulldlng.second noor.room No. 1
omco cornor of Contro and Main Btroots, Clark-j
Can bo consulted In Herman.
,E0. E. ELWELL,
Nrw columbiak Bmu)iHa,Bloom3burB, ra.
Momber of tho Unltod states Law Association,
itolloctlona mado in any part of Amorlca or Eu
rope. pAUL E. WIRT,
omco in CoYtjubian Bcilbino, Room No. J, second
8. XNORR. I S. WIOTSRSTKIN.
KNORR & WINTERSTEEN,
A ttornoy s-at-Law.
omco In 1st National Bank building, second noor,
nrst door to the left. Corner of Main nnd Market
stroots Moomsburir, ra.
t&'Pennonn and Bounties Collected.
J II. MATZE,
omco in Maize's building, ovcrlilllmeycr's grocery.
May 20, '81.
Q B. BROCKWAV,
Onico in his building opposite Court House,
2nd lloor, IJlooiusuurg, Pa. apr 13 '8J
JOHN 0. YOCUM,
omco In Nkws Item building, Main street.
Mcmbor of tho American Attorneys' Assocla-
Collo'ctlons mado in any part of America.
Jan. e, lssz.
Jackson Bulliling, Rooms 4 ami 5.
MayO, -81. BERWICK, PA
HIIAWN & ROBINS,
Ofllco, cornor ot Third and Main Streeta.
7" e. SMITH,
jVttorncy-utLaw, Berwick. Pn.
Can ho Consulted in German.
FIRE AND LIFE INSURANCE
S"OITlcc first door below the post ofllce.
O. BARKLEY, Attorncy-at-Law
onico Iu Browcr'a building, snd story.ltooms
XV.Offloe, Brock ay'a Uulldlng.Jlst floor,
DTooinaburg, Ponn'a. may T, '80-t f
JB. MoKELVY, M. D.,SurReon and Phy
, slolan, north slda Mala strcet,bclow Market
L. FRITZ, Atlnrney-t-Law. 1
in colhsibiam Building, Juno 4
Q M. DRINKER, GUN & LO0K8MITH
Bowing Machines and Manhlnory of all kinds ro
pilrod. opska uoosi Unlldlng, Bloomsburg, l'a.
it. J. C. RUTTER,
Office, North Markot street,
PiR. WM. M. REHER, Surgeon and
If 1'hyslclan. omco corner of Rock nnd Market
Tit. EVANS, M. D., Surgeon and
. Physio an, (omco and Resldenou on Third
again at his old stand undor EXCIIANOE
BAltUKUHlloi'. Ho respectfully aollclts the
patronage of hl'soldcustomorsand nt tho publlo
W. R. TUBBS, PROPRIETOR
'' OPTOITE COURT HOUSE.
Largo and oontenleutsamplo rooms. Hath rooms
notandoold wutor.aol all modern conveniences
D1V0RCEH. No publicity! nwHonu of any
State. Doscrtlou, Nuu-supiwrt. Advtoo una
applications for stamp. W. II.LKE, Att'y, 3
B'way, N. Y. r Sopt. JUU iw
These are the First Days of the
already the hum of activity begins.
We launch the busy season with
that prove to be strangely low. A
these have been in store some days,
a fair chance, we held the
until the return of people
READY FOR FALL.
Our Clothing Is Uiiovrn to lie
superior lit mnUo nnd style,
Wc Riinrnittco everything wc
ncll, nnd will refund the mon
ey on goods not found ns repre
Samples fin iiInIkmI on npill-
from their holidays.
A. C. YATES & CO.
A good lot of first-rate
Jerseys at $2.25. These
arc all black. The colors
A Hlack Dress Silk at
75 cents, that until recent
ly w is always fl.oo.
A fine lllack Rhadama,
.2 inches wide, at 51,50.
Half-wool Hlack Dress
Goods at 12J cents, which
is just half-price.
All-wool stylish Plaid
Suitinii, 42 inches, at 50
cents. We sold the same
Another in stripes at 65
cents. Not dear at $1.00.
A quality of Lupin's
Cashmere for 50 cents
(all wool). The new tar
iff will prevent this qual
ity from ever again selling
at this price.
A Hlack Albntross at 25
cents, exactly half-price.
A fine Hlack Camel's
Hair, 46 inches wide, at
A good 36-inch all-wool
Cashmere at 40 cents.
An excellent Hlack
Cashmere, all-wool, .1
yard wide, at 45c.
A very few much ad
Robes at one-third off of
r m .1
io ls 01 Bnoea mat
desirable for the prices
A Bleached Muslin, full
yard wide, for 10c. The
best we ever had at that
The best Twilled, All
Wool Red Flannel we
ever sold for 25c.
The best Canton Flan
nel for I2c. We never
could get so good a qual
ity at the price before.
An extraordinary lot of
Towels at 25c.
Eight lots of Ladies'
and Children's Hose that
'are on our counters at 25
per cent, under prices.
250 pairs Women's
Straight Goat Button,
172 pairs Women s
Straight Goat Button,
245 pairs Women s
Curacoa Kid Button,
186 pairs Women's
French Kid Button,
152 pairs Women's
Kid Slippers, $1.25.
112 pa'rs Women's
Kid Ties, $2.00.
1 10 pairs Women's
French Kid Oxford Tics,
CrMna and Glassware we hardly dare to
savins anything about, as the lots an-
nounced are nearly always sold out in a few
hours of the day they arc presented. Watch
the city daily papers for the announcements,
and if these lots are sold when you come do
not be disappointed, as we have new lots in
every day or two.
In Furniture. You ng couples should see
A SPECIFIC FOR
mr EPILEPSY. SPASMS. "-a
COHYULSIOHS, FALLING SICKNESS,
ST. VITUS DJ&HCC, ALGHONOLISM,
OPIUM E&TIHG, SYPHILLIS,
SGROrULI, im EVIL,
UGLY BLOOD DISEASES, DYSPEPSIA,
NERVOUSNESS, SICK HEADACHE,
RHEUMATISM, NERVGUS WEAKNESS,
DRAIN WORRY, BLOOD SORES,
KIDNEY TROUBLES AND IRREGULARITIES.
2W$1.50 per bottle at druggists.-WJ
Tie Dr. S. A. Richnoni Met Co.,Proprietora.
Ct. Tccopli. 23. (1)
Correspondent frf el j- nniweri'd by rbyBlcl&ns.
C. I.'. CRI7TENT0N, Agon!, New York.
-yy 11. house,
lJl,OOM81IUUO,Coi.U5lllI.V Countv, Pa.
All styles ot work tlono in a superior manner, work
KD WITHOUT by tt!9 .USO Of (US, ftU(J
treoot cbargt) vv ben artificial tcetu
onico ovor lllooua3Duri,' llanklnir Comnany.
'Jo be open at all hours during the iwj
The new Ash Suite of Bed Room Furniture for $25.
The same goods in Cherry for (28.
Our Works at present turn us out only
suites per day of these goods, so that
come, first served. Nothinc like this
has ever been done in Philadelphia before.
A fine frame Body Brussels Carpet at
$1.25 that we are willing to endorse as a good
We are not permitted to give the
makers' names. The goods are new this
season, and fifty patterns at least to choose
The first Fall Offering of Ladies' Robes
are all-wool, of ample material, in nine varieties, dark, rich hues,
and the new patterns are on tho pahn-Icaf order. The eftect is
much the same, it not a lull equivalent, as though an expensive
Cashmere Shawl were dis3ccted and made into a robe, as is often
done. The expense being infinitely lc33 525.
Also a few Wrapper Patterns, Persian, nnd with a decided
Oriental effect. The olive, old gold aud rich, dark hue3 are sub
dued in a broad border of consistent but curious formation, 10 to
11 yards each. $2.00 per yard.
There arc other lots equally interesting,
and new things daily arriving.
Samples of Dress Goods sent by mail ;
a "Postal" will receive immediate attention.
No Whiskey I
Brown's Iron Bitters
is one of the very few tonic
medicines that arc not com
posed mostly of alcohol or
whiskey, thus becoming a
fruitful uource of intemper
ance by promoting a desire
Brown's Iron Bitters
is guaranteed to be a non
intoxicating stimulant, and
it will, in nearly every case,
take the place of all liquor,
and at the same time abso
lutely kill the desire for
whiskey and other intoxi
Rev. G. W. Rice, editor of
the American Christian Re
viav, says of 13rown's Iron
Cin.,0.,Nov. t6, 1SS1.
Gents : The foolish wast
ing of vital force in business,
pleasure, and vicious indul
gence of our people, makes
your preparation a necessity,
and if applied, will save hun
dreds who resort to saloons
for temporary recuperation,
Brown's Iron Bitters
has been thoroughly tested
for dyspepsia, indigestion,
biliousness, weakness, debil
ity, overwork, rheumatism,
liver complaints, kidney
troubles, &c, and it never
fails to render speedy and
J" ill! liF AUIUUSLKGr
Thirteenth Street. Chestnut Street.
Market Street and New City Hall.
I7HKA8 BltOWN'S lJNejUUANUK
' AGHNOV. Moj cr's new bulldlns, Main
Direct, Uloomstiure, l'a. Assets
.Etna Insuranco Co., of Hartlord, Conn, fT.oia.v2t
ltoyal ot Liverpool is.buo.ooo
Lancasblrc i 10,0110,000
Vlre Association, HiUadelpMa HJ.'JJ1.
rnannix.or ijnaon VTf'.Xl
London Lancashire, or Encland M"3'7,S
llarltort ot Hartford.. 8,MS,ooo
Sprlwrneld 'lro nnd Marine j,osi,6S5
Asthoasenclcsaroillrect, policies aro written
lor the Insured without any delay in 1110
onice at liloomstmrir. Oct, s,
CI11U8TIAN V, KNAIT, ULOOMSBUIta.l'A.
HOME, OP N. T.
MKItcllANTS', OP NEWAltK, N. J.
CLINTON, N. V.
l'EOI'LES' N. Y.
TUOHOOLDCOBroBiTiOKa aro wen Be&soned by
aero and hub tbstki) .inl have luivcr yet had a
lj8a Bottled ty any court ot law, 'llwlr S49.'U
aro all int rated In koui' puccmmejLl aro llublo
to tho lizard ot -ikk only.
Losses ntouiTLT aud noNmir adjusted and
paid as goon as determined by Cuuidtmn if.
ivire, xi-itcuL AaiiNT aku Adji'sthh Uiooji.
The people ot Columbia oounty euould puron
lie the lieuoy whero loaos it any aro settled
and p&ld or one ottholrowndtUeiiii,
rilOMl'lNKSa, KO,UITY, I'Alll UKALINU.
KT. S. TINTGX.EY,
M1BMT d tH TAILOR
U now tully prepared to furnish
SUITS MADE TO ORDER
IN THE MARKET AT
ALSO TO FURNISH
Kesuly --Marie SUITS
MADE TO SIEASUni", AND
AS OAN BE HAD AT ANY
Orders taken for shirts, mado
ing feeling of
B Mi'.atliicas, of
cilisuitlou without cllort, which inukcs life
a burden to 10 many pcoplo, h duo to tho
fact that tho blood Is ior, and tho vitality
consequently (eol.lo. If you aro suHcrlug
from cucU fecllnss,
Is Just what you need, nnd will do you Incal
No other rrcparatlon so concent rates and
combines blood-purlfylug, vitalizing, enrich
ing, and Invigorating qualities o AVER'S
Sold by all Druggists ?l, six bottlos for fS.
THE 3-OENT STAMP,
Uood-byc, 014 stamp It's nasty luclc
That emu our friendship ho,
When others failed, you gamely stuck,
nut now, ymfvogot to go.
So here's a llood of honest tears,
And hero's an honest ntgh -
Oood-by, old friend, ot many years
rjood-by, old stamp, good-by !
Your llfo hag been a varied one,
With curious phrases fraught t
Sometimes a check, somctlmc3 a dun,
i our dally coming brought 1
Kmllos to a waiting lover's face,
icnn 10 a mother's eye.
or Joy or pain to every place
Oood-by, old stamp, good-byl
You bravely tolled, and better men
Will vouch for what I say ;
Although you liavo been licked, 'twai when
Your face turned t'other way.
'twas often In a box you got
(As you will not deny)
l'or going through tho malls, I wot '
uood-by old friend, good-by.
And, In your last expiring breath
Tho talc ot years Is heard a.
TI10 sound ot voices hushed In death
A mother's dying word,
A maiden's answer nott and sweet,
A wile's regretful fclgh,
Tho patter ot baby's feet
Oood-by, old stamp, good-by I
What wonder, then, that at this tlmn
Vhen;you nnd I must part,
I should osplro to sneak in rhyme
The promptings of my heart.
Uo, bldo with all thow mom'rles dear
That 11 vo when others die
You'vo nobly served your purpow hero
Good-by, old stamp, good-by I
THE YOUNG WIDOW.
1SY lU'.LKN K0I1I1F.ST OltAVES.
Sirs, l'iorcy was not in a good humor
that day, as aho sat at tho breakfast
tablo pouring coffco for her husband,
and dispensing bread and butter to tho
thrco plump littlo Picroys. She was a
haudsomc, over-dressed woman, with a
good deal of fnlso hair, frizzed and
puffed and braided on tho top of her
Head, and a complexion that boro re
mote witness to the constant uso of
cosmetics. And Mr. 1'iercy, at his end
of tho table, was evidonlly ill at easo as
ho broko his egg and nibbled diligently
at Ins roll.
"Unt what was flo do, my deal'!''
paid ho, after a brief silence, which was
by no means peaceful.
"1)0 ? ' surilly retorted airs, rtercy.
"Why, what do other people do 1 Aro
W to keep a home for tho indigent
poorT Or a retugo tor the widowed
'My dear, my dear,1' pleaded Mr.
Picrcy, who was a small man, with thin
hair and spectacles, "you may bo a
widow yourself some day."
"And it .1 am I shall not ao begeme
among my rolatives, that you may de
pend on, said Mrs. l'teroy. "And,
reality,'' said Mrs. Abel Pioroy, weigh
ing out ounces of sugar and pounds of
Hour with an unerring hand. "And
really, your namo is such a peculiar
one. .Tnne, or Martha, or Eliza, would
have been mora to my taste. Perhaps,
howover," with a keen, Bidolong glance,
"you have been on tho stage T
"No," said Plitmo. "I was a toachcr
when Oswald married me. Hut what
did you mean about the advertising
columns of tho papers V
"Situations, you know," said Mrs.
Piercy, reaching over to tho raisen box.
"Bridget, you have been at these raisins,
at tine as I live 1 Thero's half of 'era
gono since I was hero last.''
"No, mum, I haven't I" sharply res
ponded Bridget, who was used to these
kitchen skirmishes. "Sure I nover lived
in a house before whero they counted
the raisins and tho lumps 0' coal, nnd if
I don't suit, mum, it's a month's warn
ing from to-day, if yo's plaze."
"Situations V repeated Plume, half
afraid of Bridget's wailiko demtanor,
half puzzlid at her sister-in-law's
"Yes," said Mrs. Abel, tartly paying
no attention to Bridget and her skillet
"in a glovo factory, you know, or a
fancy store, or even as a nursery gover
ness or attendant to some elderly in
valid. For, of course, you know,'1 with
another of those oblique looks that
mado poor Plnmo feel so uncomfortable,
"you expect to work for your living.
Wo aro not rich enough to support all
our relations. Abel's salary was reduc
ed last year, and no ono knows how
strictly I liavo to economize iu ordor to
make both ends meet. And a strong
young woman liko you ought to bo
ashamed to sit down on a sickly man
with a family, liko my husband, bo
"Stop oh, stop I" said Plume, lifting
up her hands, as if to ward off some
invisiblo terror. "IIo said I was wel
come Ho told mo "
"That's just like Abel!" said Mrs.
Piercy, scornfully. "Ho'd tako in all
creation if ho could. IIo nover stops
to think whether he can afford it or
"I am Borry that I inti ude," said
Plume, with dignity. "It shall not bo
for long. I will look at tho newspaper
"Yes, that's a deal the best plan," as
sented Mrs. Piercy, ungraciously. "Of
course, you won't mention our little chat
to Abel. Ho might bo vexed ; and,
after all, I'm only speaking for your
Plumo looked at her with an expres
sion of face which somehow matk Mi's.
Abel Picrcy feel as if she were shrink-
iing up liko a withered walnut in its
"Yes, I know," said sho. "But you
need not be afraid; I am no talo bearer,
to make mischief in any one's family."
Airs. Pioroy telt very uncomtortable
after this littlo conversation was ended.
"How sho did look at me 1" thought
she. "But I only spoko tho truth, after
Abel s threshold again. Shu had been
too deeply stunir too bitterly insulted
The Best Fire to Uroil a Steak,
Now, let us suppose a similar beef
steak to bo cooked by radiant heat,
with tho least possible co-operation of
To effect this, our source of heat
must bo n good radiator. Glowing
solids aro better radiators than ordina
ry llamos : therefore coke, or charcoal,
or ordinary coal, after its bituminous
matter has done its flaming, should bo
used, and the steak or chop may bo
placed in front or abovo a stirfaco of
suchglowing carbon. In ordinary do
mestic practice it is placed on a grid
iron abovo tho coal, and therefore I
will consider this case first.
Tho object to bo attained is to raise
tho juices of tho meat throughout to
nbout tho temperature of 180 degrees
Fahr. as quickly as possible, in order
that the cookery may bo completed
before tho water of these juices shall
have had time to evaporate to any con
siderable extent ; therefore tho meat
should bo place as near to tho surface
of the glowing carbon as possible.
But tho practical housewife will say
that, if placed within two or thrco
inches, somo of tho fat will be melted
and burn, and then the steak will bo
Now, here wc require a littlo nioro
There is smoking and
smoking smoking tost produces a
detestable flavor, and smoking that
does no mischief at all beyond appear
ances. Tho llame of an ordinary coal
fire is due to the distillation and com
bustion of tarry vapors. If such a
llame strikes a comparatively cool sur
face liko that of meat, it will condense
and deposit theucon a film of crude
coal-tar and coal-nawhtha, most nau
seous and rather mischievous ; but if
tho llamo bo that which is caused bv
the combustion of its own fat, tho de
posit on a mutton chop will be a littlo
niutton-oil, on a beef-steak a little beef
oil, more or less blackened by mutton
carbon or beef-carbon. But these oils
and carbons have no other flavor than
that of cooked mutton and cooked
beef ; there they are perfectly iuno
cent, iu spite of their truilty appear
ances. J'ovular Science Month-
auer an, sno isn i any rciauvo oi yours .Mi VVo can-t bo bu,.dened with her
oniy your nroiucrs who i a nice to ,,,
TEAS, SYltlH'S, UOFVEU, SUiUlt, MOLASStH,
MCI, SriCtS, M01KB iJOPl, 40,, SO,
N, K. cornor Second and Arch etronts,
Mr-Orders will receive promptattentlon
know what earthly claim sho has upon
you 1 I declare, tho moro I think of it
tno moro 1 am amazed at me woman s
p.esuirption. Her very namo is an
a-i'Ti-rvation, too. vi'iumo l'tercy, in
deed. I'll waMr my now lace pin that
bIio was a sccond-rato actress when sho
married your brother. No, Mr. Piercy,
if you think that I"
But hero tho torrent of the lady s
eloquence wa cut Bhort by the unex
pected appearanco on tho scene ot tno
very subject of her obiurfration a tall,
pretty woman of about four-and-
twentv, whoso wavy golden tresses and
delicately fair complexion contrasted
vividly with tho deep mourning weeds
"A veil down to her feet," mentally
oiaenlatnd Mrs. Abel Piorcv. "And a
six-inch band of tho very best Court-
land crepo on her cown. L wonder
who's expected to pay for all'lhis V
Abel Piercy, the kindest hearted of
little men, welcomed his brother's
widow with Kcnuino hospitality, but
Matilda, his wife, looked askance at
her, with no friendly smile upon her
"Of course you will consider this
your home, said Mr. 1'iercy, as ho
mado hasto to draw a chair cioso to tno
"Until you aro able to suit yourself
somewhere else, crisply auded his
. Tho widow said little, sho only look
ed, with large, wistful eyes, from ono
to tho other, as sho sat there, tho morn
ing sunshine turning her fair locks to
braided masses 01 cold, tno pearly deli
cacy of her skin arousinpr. tho liveliest
envy in Mr. Abel's heart.
"Tlioiicli, or course, it's only somo
French balm or Circassian cream or
other, that I haven't heard of," said sho
But after Mr. Pieroy had buttoned
on his overcoat and gloves no came
back to tho breakfast room, while his
wife was putting up tho children s
school lunches in tho pantry.
"l m not muoii oi a talker, i'lumc,
said he, in an odd, hesitatiiiK way:
'but you aro welcome, my dear very
welcome. And I hopo you will try to
Ins tri t r . a -f
leel at homo, uon t mind .Matilda-
just at first. She's a littlo peculiar,
.Matilda is, but l do assuro you sho '
"iur. Picrcy I uttered a sharp warn
nig voice, at tins instant, nom tno
threshold, "is it possible that you
haven t started yet T And you kuow
how. particular lmdgo & Bodley aro as
to your getting to tho storo at u pre
Jur. 1'iercy turned pink nil over.
"Yes, my dear yes," said ho, 'Tin
quito suro to bo in timo I"
. . m ...
.And ott ho started on a centlo trot.
When ho was cone, Plumo took off
her bonnet and veil, removed Her
mantle and gloves, and went into tho
"Cannot I do something to help you,
histcr Matilda i said sue, pleadingly,
I r At ill. i
juis. Atiei i icroy iookcu, with com
bluo eyes and lips primly compressed
nt, tnu imr luce, wiueii was younger ana
fresher than oyer without tho jet blatk
oircict ot tno bonnet, ami tho slight,
l race I ii I llL'ino botoro Iter.
"jso, l uiaiiK you, said sho j "l am
not used to nave una ladles in my
"But if you will lend me an apron "
"No, 1 thank you, Mrs. Oswald
Pieroy 1" renoalod tiio housowifo. "You
will uud tho nowspaper in tho hall.
Perhaps tho ndvurtUing columns may
wo aro Hisiers, said tno vounc
widow, with a quivering lip. "Will
you not call mo Plumo!"
"Uli, no, wo ro no relations at all, in
A Bishop's Trip to Korue.
support, let Abel talk as ho pleases.
tnd no matter What sho savs, 1 believe
sho has been an actress 1 No one but
an actress could over put on such royal
ways as that I
Half an hour afterward, when tho
bell rang aud somo ono inquired for
M-s. Ojwald Piercy, Sirs Abel nodded
her head to tho cake sho was taking
out of tho oven
'Company already," said she, "and
gentleman coro 'ny, as I live. Well,
if this is tho way she intends to go on
tho sooner sho suits herself with i
situation the better."
iMrs. riercy had been secretly anx
ious for an opportunity of quarreling
with her sister-in-law. Hero it was at
last, and when the old'genlleman with
tho glossy broadcloth suit was gone.
sho bounced into tho parlor with a red
spot on cither cheekbone like signals
"So you liavo been receiving com
pany, Mrs. Uswald ( said she.
"Yes, I'lume innocently answered.
"Gentleman company, too !" cried
"It was Sir. Van Onion, my hus
band's lawyer," explained Plume.
"Oli, 1 dare say !" said iurs. Piercy.
"All that sounds very well ; but I have
tho character of my houso to look to,
He is coming back with a earriago,"
hurriedly spoko Plumo. "I am to go to
his wiles houso at once. Mrs. van
Orden is willing to givo mo tho shelter
which my own husband's relatives
grudgo rao 1"
"1 wish hor joy of her bargaiu, I am
sure, said Mrs. Abel rieroy, with a
tohs of tho mountains of false hair that
crowned her head.
And so tho two women parted, in uo
spirit of amity.
"l daro say sho 11 go straight to the
store," thought Mrs. Abel, "and invent
a pitiful story for my husband's benefit.
And Abel will mako a great fuss Abel
was ntways sou about his relatives
but 1 shan't mind it. I always liavo
The Right Hov. William O'llara,
D. D., bishop of tho Scranton diocese,
left for Komo lately to attend tho con
ference ot American archbishops in
the latter part of this month, in which
ho will represent the province ot
Pennsylvania. Bishop O'llara was se
lected for this honor as tho senior suf
frage!! of the province during tho ill
ness which proceeded tho death of tho
venerable Archbishop wood, and he
will in all probability be tho only bish
op in the conferenco of tho American
archiepiscopate. There is good reason
to think that tho information telegraph
ed from .London a short timo ago ro
garding his probable selection as tho
successor of Archbishop Wood is well
founded and that ho will recoivo tho
pallium. His familiarity witli the du
ties of tho metropolitan and his experi
ence as a priest in Philadelphia go far
to strengthen this belief. Bishop John
if. bhanauan, ot tho llarrisburg
diocese, is also spoken of ns tho suo
cessor to tho lato Archbishop Wood,
Tho Now Times makes a special refer
once to this fact.
This is Bishop O Hara s third visit
to Homo sinco his promotion to the
episcopacy, ilo attended tho sessions
of the coumencial council iu 18G9, and
in 1880 ho paid his decennial visit to
tho shrino of the apostels.. Until the
elevation of tho late Bishop Wood
to tho archicpiscopal chair, Penusylva-
ia was part of tho proviuco ot Balti
more. At tint timo it was constituted
separate province, with Philadelphia
as Ihe metropolitan city, and including
in its -jurisdiction tho dioceses of 1'itts
burg, Allegheny, luie, llarrisburg, and
Scrauton, with four suffragan bishops.
i ho raauner ot solecting Archbisop
Wood's successor is simple. Tho bish
ops ot tho provmco meet and recom
mend thrco names to tho holy eeo, des
ignating the nominees in tho ordor of
dionus, (worthy,) dignlore, (moro
worthy.) dimnssimum (most wortliv.)
The popo may select cither of these or
,.! !.. .1 1 . I . . 4 - 1
go uiuBuie vne list, out as a general
tuing tho choice rests on tho atymssi
A tongue-tied man should bowaro
tho matrimonial knot
Tho blfiror a newsiianor Is the mori
bustlo there is about it.
Tho youthful "rako" is not as useful-
as tho lino tooth comb.
It takes only a crape Bkin to make
tho dudo loso his balance,
Tho wcathor roports appear to liavo
lost their grips on tho irosU
In Now York city 100,000 children
earn their own living. There s a
good many more who don't, and nover
Somo men aro so lucky that thev
couldn't fall overboard without being
pulled up with their pockets full up
The man who runs for ofllco also
runs tho risk of n divorce from his wifo.
No man knows how wicked he is until
his political enemies write his lifo. I N.
Tho difference between a besotted
man and a pig is a slight ono at best.
One's a hunting grog, and tho other's a
Joe Jefferson is said to beliovo in
spirits. It will be remembered that Hip
Van Winkle also had a weakness in
In Sholbyvillc, Ky., there is a wid
ow who has buried four husbands, and
now seems anxious to prepare another
lor tho silent tomb.
A Mauch Chunk maiden claims she
1b a small eater, yet manages to dispose
of live soft-boiled eggs, thrco slices of
, - . t . . I.
nam, six pieces or toast, sovon. rous, a
fow potatoes and four cups of coffee.
President Arthur drinks thrco kinds
of wine at dinner, and asks no blessing.
Mrs. itayes husband omitted tho ex
penso of the wino and asked a blessing.
"Was man descended from a bear t"
asks tho Detroit Free l'ress. Not in
all cases. Why, a Nevada citizen the
other day went to the other extreme
when a bear came along, and the citi
zen took to a tree.
"Young lady" : The word "call" in
poker has a different significance from
what it does in society, in poker, il
your opponent "calls," you have got to
see ' nun, without any exouso ot sick-
been mistress in my own house, and I
always intend to be, Oswald's widow
or no Oswald s widow.'
Nevertheless, she could not help
leeiing a iuno apprehension when her
husband camo into tea. For when
Abel really was angry, bis auger signi
fied something. But to her surprise ho
1 ,. 1 l.l.f 1 .
UMlUfUtl iUl DUIUL'9, ,IUU lUUUHlg I1IS
"So Plumo hns gono," said ho.
"Yes," said Mrs. Pieroy, pretending
to bo busy with a knot in tho second
child a shoo. "Sho has gono. But how
did you know it V
Van Orden Btopped nt tho storo to
tell nu', nnswored Mr, Piercy.
atrango, wasnt it T And dtuto ro
"What on earth is tho man talking
about T said Mrs. Pieroy, aroused at
last into foinething liko nctivo interest
"Why, didnt Plumo tell vout It
seems that thoso last investments that
iioor Oswald fancied ho had beggared
hiinself with have turned up trump
cards after all. And Van Orden tells
mo that Oswald's widow is worth
Mrs. Abel Piercy turned first green
then crimson. Alas for tho blunder sho
had committed 1 Alas for tho ruined
chances of her throo littlo girls to in
horit their aunt's monoy I Sho mado
somo trivial exouso about n forgotten
pocket handkerchief, and went upstairs
to weep the umorest tears bhe had over
it wits, a lesson 10 nor, nut it was an
expensive ono. For Plumo Pieroy, al
though sho always remained on tho
most excellent terms with her kind lit
Uo brother-in-law, never crossed Mrs
Years ugo tho Sawkill was then only
villago tavern in Milford, Pa., and
was kept by a remarkable man named
Lewis Cornelius, who, at tho timo of
ins death in 1811, must liavo been the
icaviest person in tho country. Tho
following is a copy of a certified entry
in ono of tho books of record in tho
clerk's office of tho county, tho original
entry having been mado immediately
niter Mr. Uorneliuss death :
There Were Giants In Those Days.
ness or "not at home.
It is when a woman tries to whistle
that the great glory of her mouth is
seen without being very much heard.
"My wife's sister, out iu Iuianna, is
dead, and she's wearing moiirnin', and
she thought it'd be more appropriate
liko to use black tea for a whilo now."
There is an old Hebrew proverb
which ruti3 : Mako hatso when you
aro purchasing a field, but when you
are to marry a wife, bo slow.
Thero aro two things which ought
never to cxcito a man s anger 1 irst,
thoso which ho can help, and, second,
those which he cannot help.
"Go in swimming I" exclaimed littlo
johny Burlap. "Not much. Tho last
timo 1 went m father gave mo a wood
shed bath after I got homo."
America is called tho land of tho
freo because it is tho only country in
the world where divorco cau bo pro
cured in two hours for a ten dollar
There cannot livo a moro unhappy
creatine than an ill-natured old man,
who is neither capable of receiving
pleasures, nor scnsiblo of doing them to
"I meant to have told you of that
hole j" said a gentleman to his friond,
who, walking in his garden, stumbled
into a pit of water. "No matter," said
the friend, "I have found it."
"Show mo thowaylo a higher plane,"
says Ella Wheeler, the western poetess.
certainly, iMla : just step up into the
elevator and tell tho conductor to lot
you out at tho top lloor. Plenty of room
"Mamma, what's a book-worm 1"
"Ono who loves to read and study and
collect books, my dear." Tho next night
company called. Miss Edith, who wears
riugs innumerable, was present. "Oh,
mamma, look at Miss Edith's rings. I
guess she s a ring worm, am t sho 1 '
mong the unspeakablo mysteries
that even tho day of rcsurrootion will
tail to unravel is tho reason a box of
boarding-house matches never lasts
moro than one day.
"What iutlucnoe lias the inoonlon the
tido t" tho teacher asked John Henry.
And John Henry said : "It depended on
what was tied ; if it was a dog it mado
LqwIs Cornelius Died September 27, 1811
ins ueignt wns u luvt.
Circumference below tho waist, 8 ft,, 3 In
Circumference abovo tho waist, C ft., 31 Iu,
Circumfercnco of arm below tho elbow, 1
ft.. 0 n.
Circumference of wrist, 1 ft., 3 In.
Circumference of thigh, -1 feet 3 In.
Circumference of calf of leg, 3 ft., 7 In,
Uircuiiitercnco of anklu, 1 ft., 7 in.
His weight was 015J pounds, without
"Mamma," said Hcnrv, "what's tho
differenco between gooso and gceso t"
'Why, don't you know!" said four
year old Annio j "ono gceso is gooso,
and a wholo of gooses is geese."
"I don't sco how you city folks livo
with no oxorciso at all," remarked a
countryman to his new boarder. "No
exercise I" oxclaimed the man, "guess
you nover saw a fellow chasing a street
Six lovely school ma'ams were out
rowing in Lake Georuo recently. A
bold, wicked man on shore, who was a
bad boy n
fow years ago, instead of
During his lifetime Mr. Cornelius l?M, S 0,1 mVm 11 0 oa 8 w0'11..")'.
would not consent to bo weighed. H."u ' V ("a,KCl: "ueiioiu tho whaling
Tho abovo was bis wuioht ufipi- iWih. ne01, '
, - . ... o" : --I -i. ... .. .
and alter ft long l ness. lur nir wh uh " iou sensation nas just iicen spouod
ho had lost much flesh. Mr. Corno- m St- I-outo- A wealthy young lady of
litis was survived by n wifo and seven tllu c,tJ' ha( "my 1' hor mmd to
children, three sons and four dauirlt. r,m awny witn aill "a"7 her father's
ters. Iho management of tho hotel
has nover passed out of tho hands of
tho family. Tho wifo, three sons and
one daughter aro dead, and tho house
is now managed by tho remaining
daughter. Two of tho sons weighed
over thrco huudred pounds eaoh at
their death, and tho deceased daughter
weighed over four hundred. Ouo Bon,
who died two yoars ago, had boon
Sheriff of tho county five times.
"I'vo stolen a coat," said a man to n
lawyer, "and I want you defend mo.
'lhlnK you can provo mo innocent f
"Oh, yes i wo can provo that you woro
in an adjoining township when tho
coat was stolen and tho prosocution is
malicious." "How much will you
charge V "What sort of a coat is it t"
"1 irst rato t nover been worn any."
"Well, I won't charge you anything,
.lust givo mo tho coat."
coachman, when at tho last moment sho
discovered that tho coachman wouldn't
"A Fair outsido is but a poor subitU
tuto for inward worth," says a writer.
That's what the small boy thinks, when
he can't find a holo under tho fenco big
enougu to crawi through, mm has to
content himself with peeping through
"Here," said an ignorant follow as
he stepped into a jowelor's shop, "I
can't do anything with this watch. I've
shoved the regulator round as far as it
will go, but it keeps a losing time."
"Why, mau I" exclnuued tho" jeweler,
Its an hour and a half ahead of time
now! What did you set it by i" When
it was ascertained that the silly fellow
had been trying to timo it by a gas
meter tho jeweler didn't wonder n bit
that tho wateh couldn't begin to keep