RATES OF ADVERTISING .
AND
H PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING
irtTnnoi.uMntAi( huileino nkarthk
COURT HOUSE, nioousnuiia, TA., 1IY
CHARLES B. BROCKWAY,
editor Attn rnorniBTon,
Icrai-Tffo Dollars a 7oi? payaWo In cinnto,
JOB MINTING
nr ilhlcscrlrtlonn oxccnttd with neatness and
dispatch nt reasonable rates,
Columbia County Oflloial Dircotory.
r,fxnf.riiilM.VVii.i.rlv T.-t.wrf.t,
A-aleJuOuetUUM Dr.nk, IsAAO B. MoN-
n'Yolhonotar,&c.V.vvoi.rn II. llmni.rcn.
KtvMtr Unorder WH.MAMWN H.JAConr.
yjitfrM IHorf JAMESjllRlsoK, JR.
Sheriff AARON SMITH. .
i-n'fior 1HAAO DJCWITT.
Trcnxrer Wilmasi Lamon,
rtiiimi(oi)et irviius JtuiilitNs Hiram J.
IlrEREH. WlM.IAJt SHAFl-KIt.
Jiii'M- 11. J. CAJirjlKLT,. Danikl Li;e.
CiMRUB) Conner
J rsi CbmnUisioiurs Jhaaii MfjUiUDE, John MM
ANAix.
( GUmj QlfJ'CriWCmUIll I. JJAi;J.U1 Ul 1IA1UW.I.X
RtofM 1'nnr District Directors. B. II. MiLT.Kn
WILLIAM IWtAMKJt, IMOOmttllUVRf mill JOIlJlSOil
IMLriii Urccuu uoO, citAituai connku, Bcc'y.
Bloomsburg Official Dirootory,
lUctmsburn Havkiua fv. John A. Funstoh
President, 11. 11. Urotk, Cashier.
fiivt national Jlank-iiuAM. H. TAXTOS.rrcs't ,
J. T. Tustin, Cashier.
CVlumbialiunt!iMutuctt&avlnal)inlnnitToanAK
. ' - aj.. . . .. I ... i a - . 1
HtoiMihuro XMUlina and latino ftml Atmeia
(, ii Vm. l'JtACOnt, Frcs't., J, II. UOIIIHON.UCC.
lilonmttbm ii Mutual ,Sr' lmd Awociatton
J.J. MlOWLH President, V. O. BARKLKY, HOC'y.
Church Directory.
l'RKMlYTEnlAN tHCKCtl.
VfiiMrr-Itcv. Btusrt Mitchell.
fuUiulh forWces-lWs A. M.i Vi V. M.
elbbuth ArmoI-0 A. M.
, r ucr ilectmti Wednesday, 'M I, M.
scats free; no pows jenled; Ktrnnaets wel
AiMrifrm J.' II t.fi-rt" I'rfu'l I' W. Sltr.T.ifu
come.
Bloorcsjburg Directory.
r
)AriH HACfl Jur-t rccoUcd nud forsnlcnt'tlia
CLOTHING, &C.
AVII) L0WENBE1SU, Merchant Tallor.Maln
Jkt.,nbovo American House,
V7M. MOIIUIH, Slercliant Tailor, over lloscii
(( kiocksconrtctloLery.opiipalloCaUmausiur
nltnto worciijonw.
DRUGS, CHEMICALS, "&C.
p. I.UX7., liruslstantlArothccary.lMalUBt.
j, bolow tbo l'osi OUlco,
0LO0K0, WATCHES, AO.
it i:.SAVAt't., aeatjrln Cloclta, Watches and
U' Jewelry, Malum., jiv.l bolow Iho American
llauie.
(0UI3 HUIINHAUI), Wntclianil Clock makor
ji!CarBouthea8ti ur)Hir Maluund Iron bis.
I) CATIICAUT. Watch nnd Clock Slaker.Mar
li, ket street, below Main,
BOOTS AND SHOES.
p Jl.KNOUll, Dealer In lioott anil Shoes, latest
Ti. rnil best htvJes. corner Jlaln and Market
strctts, In Iho old l'ost Ofllce.
HKNItV KW.IJI, Jtnnnractnrcr nnd dealer In
l!iol9 nud Hlioes, (Jiocerles, etc, Main street,
Luil llloombliui'i;.
PKOFESSIONAL.
Oil. II. C. HOWKK, snrscon Dentist, MMnsU
above Iho Court Uouhe.
flU. WM. JM. 1.UI1K.K, enrfipon nnii niysician,
i LOfllco over tho First Nat tonal Hank.
Go. UAi.Ki.ur, Aiioruoy-ai-i.w. uuico.a!
. lloor in liichaiin" IMocic, near tho "Kxchauiio
Hotel."
r B. JIcKELVV.M. D.,Burt;cou and l'hysician
I . northeldo Muln St., below Market. '
r C. ItUTTEIt, M. U. Hurguon and Phyidolnn
I, Market btreut, above Main.
I 11. KOBIBOH. Atlorne.v-al-Law. OfllcoHurt-
WK. 11, P. KINNEY, Bnrgenn Dontlsl. Teoth
llostinctedwlthoiitratu: Haln i,t neaily oi
oEito Episcopal cnurcu.
T It. FvAKH, 31, li., wnrgoon ami inyaician,
DP.. A. ,. TUHNElt, PhynlclannudSiiiKeon.or
tlte oer Klelra'fi Dnu; Htorc, resldcuco one
iloc Lclowllov. D. J. Waller.
MILLINERY fc FANCY GOOD3.
n 1'r.Tl.llJIAN, Millinery and Fancy Oooda,
L.oi poslto Episcopal Umrch.lMala bt,
,S LIZZIE HA11KI.EY, Milliner, llamsoy
tl bulldlntr Alfilu Bti't-et.
nlci a. TlKttltK'KSON. Mllllnerv and Fanev
ij Uooils.Mulnst., below Maiket,
IIS. JULIA A? & HADE ISAltKLEY, Lldlos
11 ' loalis nnd Dress l'attcruet. houtheast corner
M mmul wctitst.
rri i, iiishkh ltAitMAN Mill nervnuu raucy
1 (KiuIh, Main nt.. below AnurlcanlIous.0,
HOTELS AND SALOONS.
I'OIIIW HOTEL, by T. Bent. Taylor, east end
:IW HOTEL,
Maliibtreet,
1. VI ...
MERCHANTS AND GROCERS.
C ilAltlt, Dry Goods nnd Notions, south-
vwt comer Main nud Irousts.
POX ct WE11U, Conlectlonery and Bakery,
wuuicsaio auu retail, r.xcuauBu xxicii.
C.lIOWL'It, HatRand Caps, Boots audShoefl,
Main St., abovo Court House,
II. JIAIZE, Mammoth Oroccry, rlno Uro-
u. t 'rjt-B. fruiiH. ivuia. I'll
rovlslon, Jtc, Main
ill'mtro Streets.
I'KELVY, NEAT. A CO., dealcrnln Dry Onods,
etC.rJ. K. cor. Mntn null AlnrkeLLtR.
ii uriK'iTies. v lour, fl eeo.rtaii. r jHii.irou.nuiiH.
II. MII.T.l'.n Kmt. ilenlem In Tlrv (Inoils.
Notions, tl p..AIln ..t.
SIISCELLANEOUS.
n M.CIIltlSTMAN, Haddlo, Trunk .1 Harness-
, maker, Shlvc't, Block Main Street.
1).
W, IIOBHINS.llquordcalorsecondiloorfrom
t.v.iuwcsicorn(r Aiam anil iron bis.
P J TIIOltN'XUN, Wall Taper, Window Shadeu
U J fixtures, ltupeit block. Main si.
f" W.COBKLL, Furulluro Iloomi, three story
VI' Wilt, Main Htreet, west of Market bt.
HROSEKRTOCK.I'liotosra
' iLyer's btore, Malnst,
srapher, over Uobblna
I S. KUHN. denier In Meat, Tallow, ete., Chcin
i' merlin's alloy, rear of Aincrlcau House,
CAMDL'L JACOB Y.Marbln nnd Brown Stone
-.'ttoitis, East Uloomsburis.Borwlck road.
WM, ItABB, dealer In furniture, tronlis, cedef
Mllow ware, near tho Forks Hotel.
P B.BIDLEMAN, Agent for Munson's Copper
U'Tobular LlifhtninB llod,
P F0STF.lt, Olue .Maker, and While and Fancy
V. Tanner, Hcoltown.
VOTE BOOKS, and blank NOTFH, with or with.
Office11 eiemPlloa'lor tlllB at tuo Columuian
Catawisaa.
Bf. BALMIAN, IMorchant Tailor, Bocond St.
KoWjIui.' BulldlniT.
)'J, K. BOBBINS, Surgeon and ruyslclan
""vuuiini. iiBinw ilium.
rjILBEIlT & KLINE, dry goods, groceries, and
- .cucrm mercuauuiso, mam nireet
B. KISTLEU. ''Cattawissa House," North
. muiu ana ueconu mreeis,
KEILElt, Blllard Saloon, Oysters, and Ico
-'tam In bcason Malu St,
M
HI Iinnnna . . . . ..
'..mvuunr.ueaierinueneraiJiercuanuiso
M Laadfr l'rnVAVlntn. Brtli , li..nnt nv.ta HI n 1 n nml
itccondBtreet. -v..uM
1 yM- "i ABBOTT, Attorney at law, Main Bt.
Light Street.
JLSM Uo-i Wheelwrights, first door
'jj "ove School House.
JSt.A.'i3.1! Manufacturer nnd dealer In
' u nuoes.
R, JuVSTi Staler In Btoves and Tin ware in
w.nucuutl.
I tSS Efi.T- Mlller.nnd denier In all kinds ol
PurcUiei llouril'tt"i c- All klniU ofUralu
Eapy.
'f'hrJi(iAuJHBt,lu,1""1 i'lanlng Mill
"on Box Una locturlnit,
V''
. 1K .
: i '
VOLUME VI, ---NO, 32.
Buck Horn.
ill
ft O.W. II. SHOEMAlCETt. dMlnrq In drr
rrnrilllt. rrrnrpi(irlra nnil Minnrnl innrAlmn.liA
OraugQvillo Diroctory.
D n. HEnitlNO & EnOTHEIt,Carpontcrsnnd
; Ilulldern, Main nt bolow I'lno.
BKICIC ItOTEIj nnd refreshment Saloon, by
llohr M'JIcnry cor.ofMnln nnd l'lneot.
,11. O. A. MEUAiUIEL.l'hystelnn nnd Burgeon
Main at,, next door to Uood'a Hotel,
AVID HEimiNO, FIournndarlstMlll.nnd
Dealer In grain, Mill Street,
JAMES 11. HAltMAN. Cabinet Maker and Un
dertaker. Main St., below 1'lne.
OCHUYLEH ft CO., Iron fonnrtors.MachlnUU
O and Manufncluiers of plows, Mill St.
CJAMUEI.SUAUI'M'SS.MnkcrofthoIIayhurst
O urnlu Cradle. Main St.
ILLIAMDKLONd Hiioemnlcernua manufae-
turer oi uncii, will Hi., west ot rino
Philadelphia Directory.
aInwrTght &"co., "
wholesale aitociiiia,
Hi K. Corner Second nnd Arch Bti efts,
rmi.Ai)i:r.viiIA,
Dealers In
TEAO, SYltUPH, COFFEE, HUUAIt, MOIjASSli1?
nicz, Bi'icr.s, nt carb botia, .tc, AO.
l-Ordcrs will rcoelvo prompt attention,
may 10,t!7-tr.
J.JARVEY 11. WALKER,
writ
MEA.R, SOIIROrP & CO.,
utroRTEiis ANDJonnp.Raor
CHINA, OLAS'J AND UUEENSWAItE,
No. 108 NOItTII SECONDST.,
I'lIILADELI'HIA.
3"OrlL'lnal assorted pneknges of Qneonswaro
consltintlv oil hand. lobil'72-tf.
BuBinciJfJ Gardn.
II. LITTLE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
omen, Cnurt-IIotiHo Alloy, below Iho C01.UM
BIAN Ollleo, Bloomsburg l'a.
c.
13 . BROCKWAY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
HLOOJIBRORO, PA,
S-OrFicn Court Honso Alloy, In tho Co.
lumuian building. (Janl,'67.
c.
W. MILLER,
ATTOHNEY AT LAW,
Ofllco Court IIouso 'Alley, below tho Colum
uian Ofllco. Bounties, Hack-ray ftncl Pensions
collected. liloombburg Pa, Bep.'J)'(i7
J OHN M. CLARK,
ATTOHNEY AT LAW.
OFFICE nbovo ltowcr'H Store, Mnln street,
Uloonisburg, l'a,
JJOBERT V. CLARK,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Ollleo Main Street below tho Conrt Honso.
Bloomsburg Feun'a.
B
FRANK ZARR
ATTOHNEY AT LAW,
BLOOMSBUllG, PA.
OIHco with J. O. Frccze.Brower's Block.
Can bo eoubulted lu Ocrman or EnRllsh.
mchai)72-tf
EW STOVE AND TIN SHOP.
1MA1A11 JlAUKWllUt-iU,
Main Utroct one door abovo E. Mondonhall's
Ktore.
A larco assortment of Sloven. Healers aim
Uingcs constantly ou hand, aud for bale at tbo
I'liuilnL- lunll Its branches carefully attonded to.
end satisfaction guaranteed.
no wore ni nu Kinus wuoiesnie onu reiau. a
Inl is requested,
Jan P71
B
LOOMSBURG
31 A It It I. K W OUIIS,
MAIN RTRKF.T, RET.OW MARK 1ST,
I1LOOMSBUIIO, PA.
Monuments. Tombs. IlentlstonoR. Ac. Work
ncntlv I'xepiitnl. Orilprs bv mail will receive
special attention. N, 1:, Work delivered tree ol
clinrKe. T. L. UUNTON, Proprietor.
ocll3'71-lf. i; O.JioxiOT.
JARGAINS BARGAINS.
QUICK SAI.HS AN11 SXAU PROrlTS.
HAVE YOUIl MONEY.
Goto
1IENHY YOST.
East Bloomsburg, Pa., for all kinds of thobest
homo and city made
Prices reasonable nnd the bevt work done.
Jan 1'71-tf
-yULCAN WORKS,
UASViJjlilS i'A.
WILLIAM II. LAW,
Manufacturer of Wrought Iron Bridges, Boilers,
Clabholders, Firepioof Buildings, Wiouuht. iron
Hoollug, Hooting Frnraes, Flooring nud Doors,
Farm Gates aud fencing, also Wrought Iron pip.
lng, Stacks and nil kinds of Smith Woik, Ac,
lli pnlrs promptly attended to.
in . ii. I'rawiugs auu Jailmates suppuou,
OPt27'71-ly.
JERNIIARD STOIINEU
woum iniorm ins irioniH nnu mo puuiiciuni
ho has taken posbesblou ot
THE OL3D STJISTX?,
In the Exchanca Block, so lorn; occunlcd bv him
and will carry on tho business of n
FIRST-CLASS BAKERY,
Ho brings to the buklncssnn experience ot runny
yinrsnnd assures the eoiuuuinlty thnthowlll
lurulsU the bebtof bread, cakes, rolls.blseult, Ae,
iresu overy nay. jio jiroposes also lo Keep on
hand a largo nnd well ussortod stock of
FINE CONFECTIONERY,
or nil grades. French candles nnd those of do.
mestlo mnnufacture.nlways tobohad, wholesale
nud retail at lowest lates. Adlolnlui' tho Bakerv
and Conlectlonery Is n well estabUshed
RESTAURANT,
where may bo round Alo and Lager, nud Ho.
freshments, Oybtcrs In season and tho various
little ilellcackswhlch suit tho nubllolublr. Tlicro
Is also a
FINE ICE CREAM SALOON,
over the conlectlonery store, uliorn Indies nnd
nentlemcu can obtain tho bisl of Ice Cream In
season.
A fair share of tho nubile custom la renuPKteil
and no 1'Rlnn will bobpnredlo eusuie sutlsfnc
lion, nprll 10,'72-tl
EV DRUG STORE,
CHRIS. A. KLEIM
Having purchased tbo business of E. 1'. LMz
now olterN lit 1 1n, itlil stiiiiil. n ihilr,i iikim Immi
DKUOS,
CHEMIUAI.S,
PATENT MEDICINES,
TOII.1CT AUTIt'I.lH,
FANCY BOAl'H,
HllUSIIEy, Ac,, AO,
And n general nssnrtmont of tho choicest goods
usually totihtt lu tlrstclassestablisbiuonts.
Physicians' Preset Iptlous nud Family Heclpes
Carefully Compounded,
On Sundays, opin fromSn, m., to 10 a, in., nud
. W, .l',4UIUl,IU
UEHMAN AND ENGLISH Sl'OKEN.
feh U'72-lf
wmt
Miocollanoona,
D
BHTISTBY,
H. O. HOWETt, DENTIST,
Ucspeelfully oirers his prorenslonal services to
the ladle nud gonllemeii of Bloomsburg nnd vl
cinity, lie is prepnrcii to niionit to an too van.
ouBOnerntlnuv In tbo line of his nrofpsslon. nnd
la provided with tho latest Improved 1'orcki.ain
i rkth wnicji win uo inseriea on goiu piniing
silver nnd rubber bnsa to look cs veil nsfho nat
nrnl teeth, Teeth oitr.iclcd by nil the now nni
rnostnpiiroved methods, mid nil operntlous on
the teolh cnrefnlly nnd properly nttended to,
lteolilenco nnd oinco a low doors nhnve the
Court Hmrse, umno Dido.
Uloomsbnrg, Jan.1'71 ly
JIHE GREAT MAOIOAL
UAIR FORCERT
Will forco n benutlful set of Whiskers or Mus
tache, in from two to threo months, on nny per
son over twclvo years old. It la ono or the best
preparations to inako tho whickers grow that
ovorwns known. One bottle of Ills sulllclcntlo
produce n very strong beard, Jt does not In nny
wny Btnlu or Injuro tho Bkln. Try ltl It la no
humbug, I'rlre S3 cents per bottle. Bent by
mail post paid, to nny nddress, on receipt ot
jrlco. AddrcBa WILLIAM C, WAONEH,
Aiendtsvllle,
nug.l 7My. Adams County, Tenna
TNS RANCE AGENCY.
Wyoming , jjsn.ooo
fittm i.oou.oixi
Fulton N, Y 400,000
North America 380,nuo
City 4.V),ono
Iniernstlnnal N.Y ... l,400,ooo
NlngarnN.Y i.OOO.W
Merelnnts 330,000
Hnrlugllclil 670,(XX)
Farmers' DanvIllc.N.Y.. B!X),(I0
Albany City .. 400.C0O
D.mvlllo, llorso Tholt ... Mutttnl.
Atlnnlle, N. Y .-, l.fjooixU
Ocrmnnln, N, X .. 600,000
FKEAB UHOWN, A(ient,
mni21'71-ly. llt-oonsBURa l'a,
H
11 INKLEY KNITTING MACIIINE
THE SIMPLEST, CHEAPEST AND BEST IN
USE! HAS BUT ONE NEEDLEI A
CHILD CAN HUN IT I
Designed especially for tho use of families, und
ndlckwhodeslrotokuitfor the market. Will
do over' stitch of tho knitting in a slocking,
wldenlngnnd narrowlngns readily nsby hnnd.
Are Fplrndld for worsteds nnd fancy work,
TAKING FIVE DIFFERENT KINDS OF
STITCH I Aro very easy to manngo, nnd not
llnblo to get out of order. Every Family should
havo one.
Wo want nn Agent In every town to lntrodnco
nnil soil tlicm.tiiwhomvooircr tho roost llboral
Induccmcnti). Send lor our circular and Samplo
Btocklmr. Address.
II1NKLBY KNITTING MACHINE CO.,
nov. 10,'71-ly. Hath, Mo.
0. HOWE R,
as opened n first-class
BOOT, SHOE, HAT CAP, AND FUH STOK E.
at tho old stand on Main Street, Blnomsbnrg.afow
doors abovo tho Court House. HIh stock Is com
poscdof the very latestaml bcststylcs ever oiler
od to the cltlrena ot Columbia County. Ho can
accnmmodnle tho publlcwllhthofollowlnggoods
at tho lowest rates. Men's heavy double soled
sloga boots, men's double nud single tap soled
kip boots, men's heavy slogu shoes of nil kinds,
men's lino boots und shoes or all rrrndes, boy's
double soled boots nnd.shoes ofnllltlnds, men's
glovo kid Balmoral shoes.meu's, women XboyR's
und misses' lasting galtors, women's glovo kid
Pollsli.very liuo,wonien'smorocco llulruoralNnnd
calf shoos, women's very line kidbuttomd gait
ers. In short boota ol nil descriptions both peg
He would also oallattentlon to his fino assort
ment of
ATS, CAPS, FUHS AND NOTIONS.
which comprises nil tho now and populm vnrl-
oLicsiiL priccswnicucnunoiiaiiiosuiiaii. 'incso
goods nro ollered nt tho lowest cash rates nnd
will bo guarauUcd to Ktvo satisfaction. A call
Is solicited before purchasing elsewhere ns It is
holloved that better bargains azo to bo lennd
than ut nny other pluco in tho county,
Jan 1'71
THE ORANGEVILLE M'ANUFAC
TUI1ING COMPANY.
MANUrACXDItEia Off
AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS
of tho most Approved Patterns.
Mill Gearing,
Jobbing,
and Castings
of all descriptions.
DEALERS IN
General Merchandise, Lumber, Sc.,&c.
ORANGEVILLE, PA.
Wowouldnnnouncotothe publlo In general
that wo buvo tuktm tho well known Agricultur
al Works ot this place and shall make It our aim
to mnnurnclmo Urst Class Agricultural Imple
ments muni touuv other mukera lu tho Stato.
such as
TltrtSliIiifr niacIiincH,
Both Lover and Tread Power.
I'Iown or every Description,
among which will bo tho celebrated
KNOB MOUNTAIN HERO,
acknowledged by all to bo tho best plow extant
lor iholanucr. Also tho
Champion, StcriiH' Patent ami
The Montrose.
ALSO, DOUBLE CORN PLOWS,
Cultivators,
Iron KettlCH,
ami Castings
of overy description. Wo shall uso none but the
host materials and employ nouobut competent
and experienced mechanics and our prices will
compute nivorauiy wituauyoiucr maauiaciur
ers. Country Prnduco, Lumber, Old Iron, taken In
cxchuUKO. We also Imvoa storo In connection
Willi our Agricultural wonts, wnero may ne
lound n full assortment of MEUCHANDISE
which will bo sold at small prollts. Give us a
call betoru purchasing elsewhere aud wo guar
antee satisfaction,
imircn.-7.-u '.
Hotels.
rpilE ESPY HOTEL.
COIiUMDIA COUNTY, PA.
Tho nnderslcnod would Inform tho travelling
fiublluthat he has taken tho abovo nnmtd estab.
Ishmcut nnd thoroughly retltted tho S'une for
tho pcrloctJcouvenleiH'u of hlsgnests. Hlslnrder
will be stocked with the beat the market ntlords.
Tho choicest liquors, wines nud cigars always to
uo juuutl in ills uar.
w 11.1.1 am 1-r.nix.
I.SPV. l'a,
J' J. -J JlUlUNXUiN
lit would nunouneetothecltlzcnsofBlooms.
unr nud vlclnltv. Hint ho ha Inst received a lull
nnd compicto usbortmeut of
WALL PAPElt, WINDOW SHADES,
FIXTURES, COUD3, TAE3ELS,
und nil other goods In Is lino of business, All
tuu uowest uuu uiosi upproveu patterns oi the
day are always to bo round lu his establishment.
iuar,o, 'ou-ii juuiu Di. ueiow iuarKOl,
CHOICE FAMILY GROCERIES
DOWN IN PRICE
J, XX. MAIZE'S,
Corner Main and Centre SU.,
BLOOMSBURG.
Anew Mock of Frc6h Goods Just opened nt
MA1ZEU
Teas, Collccs, Sugars,
HYHUPS aud MOLASSES. CHEESE, MEATS,
Ulllt l.ILiir aI a
VKUETAI1LKB, JIKltMKTlCALLY Sealed
unnus.
FOUlIlGN and DOMESTIC FIIU1T8.
An Elegant Assortment
OF
QUEENSWARE
Cnnstantlv on hand.
Also WOOD, WILLOW und OLASSWAKEot
every variety,
All my goods nro of tho flrtt quality and nt ex
tiemely low pi lean,
docvfl-tl J, II, MAIZE,
BLOOMSBUllG, PA., FRIDAY, AUGUST 9,
Poetical.
Tho Conscience nud Fiititro Jiulgciticnt.
I sat nlono with my conscience,
Inn placo whoro tlmo had coasod,
Aud wo tnlkod of my former living
In a laad whera tho years Increased.
And I fait I should havo t ) answer
Tho tUollou It put to me,
And to fuco Uio nnswer nnd miostlon
Throughout nn eternity,
Tho ghosts of forgotton nctlona
Came floating beforo my sight,
And thing Hint I thought wero dead thing
Wcro allvo with n torriblo might.
And the vision of nil my past Ufa
Was an awful thing to faco,
Alona with my consclenco silting
In that solemnly silent place.
And I thought of n far-away wnrnlng.
Or n sorrow that wns to bo raluo,
In n land that then was tbo future,
Hut now la tho present time,
Aud I thought ot my former thinking
Or tho Judgment-day to be,
But silting nlono with my consclonco
Seemed Judgment enough tor mo.
And I wondered If thero was n futuro
To this land beyond tho grnvo ;
But no one gavo mo an answer,
And uo ono camu to save.
Then I felt that tho ruturo was present,
And tho prcsont would novor go by,
For It was but tho thought of ray post Ilfo
Grown Into otcrnlty.
Then I woko from my tlmoly drcntnlng,
And tho vision passed nwny.
And I know the far-away wnrulng
Wns n wnrulng or yesterday,
Aud I pray that I may not torgot It,
In this land boloro tho grave,
That I may not cry In tho ruturo,
And no ono como tosavo.
-
And sol havo learnt a lesson,
Which I ought to havo known bororo,
And which, though I lcatnt 11 dreninlug,
I hopo lo torgot uo inoro.
So I sit nlono with my consclenco
In tho placo whoro tho yenrs Incrcaso,
And I try to remember tho futuro
Initho laud where tlmo will censo :
And I know or tho ruturo Judgment,
How drcadrul soo'r it bo,
TKAT TO SIT AI.ONB WITH MY CONSCIENCR
Will re jcdoment rnouou for hi I
Imdon Spectator.
Miscellaneous.
A BOY'S DEIXXCE.
Tho scene was in Sacramento street,
in front of a well-known hotel. It was
twenty-two years ago, and San Fran
cisco was in hor Infancy.
Quito a crowd had gathered on tho
street, aud tho centro of attraction was
a lug fellow, who stood with a newspa
per in his hand raving and cursing.
"What's tho matter, Wolf?" asked a
nowcomcr, who was ovldontly familiar
with tho Irato man.
"Matter?" returned Wolf, for that
was Ids name, "matter onough, an'
rough enough it'll bo for somo folks.
Them young whoip3 that prints this
paper hits gono an' published somothin'
'bout me. O, I'll tlx 'eml Thoy'd bettor
go an' kill themselves after ton minutes;
it'll bo an easier death for cm,"
Wolf was a noted desperado, who, it
was said, had killed rnoro than twonty
men, and but fow know him who did
not fear him. Ho was at that tlmo ehiof
of a gang of loafere and gamblers that
wcro nearly aways to be found lounging
in tho vicinity alluded to, and disturb
ing tho peaco of tho whole noighbor.
hood daily with riotous conduct. If
thero was any law in those days it was
seldom executed against such charac
ters, anil in tho full consciousness that
thoy wcro feared thoy did pretty much
as thoy pleased.
Tho nowspaper which had given dead
ly offonco to Wolfo was a littlo weekly
journal, and its ollleo was in tho second
story of a building on tho samo street
with tho hotel I havo mentioned, and
only a few rods distant. It was publish
ed by two young raon or, I mlgh.t say,
boys, for thoy wero only eighteen and
twenty years old, respectively named
Darrell and Kayncs. Tho paper and its
youthful proprietors wero already well
known in tho city of San Francisco.
The article that had excited tho wrath
of tho rufllan Wolf wa3 a bold denun
ciation of himself and his crowd for
their lawless conduct, and it particu
larly mentioned him by name, charac
terizing him as a "blustering bully." It
was tho work of young Darrell, a foar
lcss boy hailing from Ohio. Boforo leav
ing his homo ho had acquired a fair
education, so that ho could at least edit
a nowspaper In thoso early days; and
ho possessed, besides, that courago and
daring, which may bo natural in tho
first placo, which aro moro thoroughly
developed by oxposuro to dangers and
hardships. Young Kayncs wan qulto a
different kind of person lu point of
courago, being of an unusually timorous
nature.
To return to tho scono on Sacramonto
strcot. Working hlmsolf up into his
very worst mood and his best was bad
enough Heaven knows Wolf toro tho
paper to atoms and started for tho pub
lication ofllco. Ho was followed by a
curious rabblo, most of whom woro
elated with tho prospect of a murder,
though thoro vero somo present who
would havo iomonstrated with thoovil
hearted man, had thoy dared.
"Jest you watch," Bald Wolf, a3 ho
reached tho door, "if yo want to bco
tho'r bloody carcasses tumblo out o' tho
winder! It won't bolong. Idon'tspond
much tlmo on slch foUors." It was tho
intention of tho cruel-hearted man
actually to cut tho throats of tho two
boyish journalists and throw their bod'
ies out of tho window, for tho gratlflca'
tlon of the crowdatid tho further oxaita
tlon of his already fearful uamo. So, tho
mob on tho street awaited tho lssuo
with feverish expectation, as Wolf,
flourishing his knifo and rovolvor, on
tored tho rudo fratno building nnd rush
ed up stairs.
All unconscious of their danger, tho
two young editors woro busily pursu
lng their usual work In thoir primltlvo
ofllco. If thoy had heard tho nolso with
out thoy had paid no attention to it,
supposing it was merely a strut row
such as thoy wcro accustomed to hear
lng ovcry day. Darrell was sitting at a
rudotablo writing, and Kayncs was nt
tho countor nrranging somo papors for
tho mall,
Thoy heard tho clatter of heavy boots
on tho stairs, but supposed it was somo
I rough minor coming up to mibscrlbo for
tho papor, or, perhaps, to boo a lawyer
who occuplod a couplo of rooms on tho
samo floor ; for tho building was n two
story ono, nnd tho second floor was oc
cupied exclusively by them nnd nn at
torney thoir rooms bolng soparatod
from his by n narrow hall-way that was
reached by tho flight of stairs nlludcd
to.
"Ah'lal I'vo got ye, my young
imps I" exclaimed thodesporado, burst
ing in.-
Knynos recognized him nnd turned
pnlo. Bolng at tho counter, which faced
tho door nnd oxtondod ncross tho room,
ho was naturally tho first mark for
Wolf's vengcanco.
"Yoyoungdovllsl" holds sed, scowl
Jng llko n madman, ''Yo'll nover wrlto
nor print nothln' moro 'bout rriol"
Here ho flourished his knifo and revol
ver about his head. "I'vo gotaauro
thing on both of yo 1" Saying this ho
looked nbout him, with n caroful scru
nlty, tosoo that thoro was no means of
cscapo for tho qulot youth at tho tablo,
who of courso, would not daro to Jump
over tho counter and try to pas3 him,
but would cower down In a corner and
tako his turn nt being killed ; then ho
reached across tho countor and seized
Knynos by tho hair, which was, unfor
tunately, very long.
Colling tho terrified young man's
locks nround tho great coarso lingers of
tho loft hand, Wolf laid ills rovolvcr
upon tho countor without tho sllghtost
apprehension that his youthful adver
sary would Bnatch it up and uso it on
him as he might havo dono had ho pos
sessed, tho uorvo; then flourished his
big gleaming kulfo, deliberately, with
puro dovillshness prolonging Kayncs'
terror and pain.
"Now say ycr prayers, d n ycr,"
ho ltissed, "you'vo got a couplo o' sec
onds or so loft Jest whllo I'm clippin'
ycr cars off. ''I'll tako 'cm first, cloan
and smooth ; then I'll cut ycr throat an'
throw yer out o' tho winder. D'yo hear
that?"
Such was Wolf's rollanco upon tho
terror his namo ovorywhoro Inspired
that ho never drcamod of resistance Ho
simply intended to butcher tho two
young men, and such a thing as an
obstacle to his will was not to bo
thought of. Had Darrell possessed no
moro nervo than Kayne3 thero can bo
no doubt thoy would both havo been
murdored then and thoro, in exact ac
cordance with Wolf's programme.
"Time!" ho said, grinding his teeth
in an castacy of rago, and drawing
Kaynos' white faco closer to his own
repulsivo countenance. "Thoy'ro a
waitin' to seo your carcass drap down
into tho street." Hero ho flourished his
knife and selected his mark. "Tho light
oar first. Wiuch how cloau and smooth
I'll, tako it off. I won't oven touch n
hair.''
Kaynes bawled for mercy. "00
don't 1" tho poor follow shrieked, trom
blingwith terror. "Oh don't, Mr. Wolf,
I didn't wrlto that, upon my soul!"
aud ho whined llko a school boy.
"Nono o' yer lylnl" said Wolf.
ferociously, "Yo both wroto It.'d n
yo; and yo'll both pay forlt." Horoho
executed decided circles with his flash
ing knifo, having apparently prolonged
tho torturo as much ns ho desired.
"Hero goes ; look out when I count
three 1" Tho knife was ready to descend.
"Ono-two
Ho stopped and stnrtcd. Ho had not
obsorved tho movomcnts of Darrell
during tho last few seconds, and just as
no wa3 upon tho point of clipping off
Kaynes' car in tho polished manner ho
had descanted upon, ho found tho muz
zlo of a rifle thrust almost into his face.
It was a loadod rlflo which, luckily, a
friend of Darrell's had left In his keep
ing that very morning, whllo ho went
out to mako somo purchases. It had
stood in a corner of tho room near his
tablo, anil Darrell has seized It, cocked
it and lovclod it with such dexterity
that ho had Wolf covered beforo ho had
obsorved his moments; and ho stood
motionless as a statuo his cool oye
glancing over tho sights, ami a steady
linger on tho triggor.
"You great bully," ho said, "drop
that knifo instantly. Mind, I como
from a country whero thoy shoot squir
rels only.through tho oyo. I can hit any
hair of your head that you will mention
at n hundred yards. Drop that knifo 1"
Tho rufllan was fairly paralyzed. Ho
released his grip on poor Kaynes', who
sank fainting upon tho floor, and his
murdorous knife fell on tho counter. So
unexpected was this bold attltudo of
Darrell that Wolf was moro startled
than ho would havo heon If a dozen of
tho roughest mon in California had as
sailed lilin.
Thoru stood tho boyish editor motion
loss as tho wall, and muzzlo of tho rlflo
did not movo tho breadth of hnlr. Dar
rell hold tho desperado's life in his
hands.
"You cowardly bully!" ho repeated
conlcniptously. "Don't you daro to
movo ; I can send n bullet through your
oyo-ball without touching tho whlto.
Don't movo an eighth of an Inch or I'll
do it, and throw your filthy carcass out
of tho window."
Wolf glanced at his rovolvor, lying
upon tho counter within two feet of his
eyes, but ho did not venturo to reach
for It.
"Daro to touch that rovolver, or so
much as look at it again," said Darrell,
"nud I'll mako n red picture upon tho
wall thero behind you. You blustorlng,
bragging kuavo! you nroacownrdat
heart a despleablo cur ! You camoup
hero to niurdor two boys, becauso you
thought it would bo an easy task, and
now you aro palo and trombllng with
fear, I would kill you In your tracks,
but thf 1 1 don't want your dirty blood
on my hands, Go now. Turn Instantly.
Loavo your knifo nnd revolver whero
thoy nro. I'll keep them, Go down to
your friends on tho street and tell them
that a boy whipped you disarmed you,
nnd kicked you down stairs." Do as I
tell you. If you hcsltato you will nover
seo tho suu sot."
Wolf, trembling from head to foot,
glanced ouco moro nt his revolver, but
dltl nut tin 10 riilso his hand. His faco
was palo aud hla lips woro dry.
"Do you henr ino?domand Darrell,
1872.
COL.
sternly.
"Yes, yes, don't shoot," said Wolf,
turning nbout, as commnnded. Ho wns
thoroughly cowod.
"Do not turu your ugly faco this way
again," said Darrell, "or you will pay
for it with your life. Movo 1"
Tamer than a whipped cur, tho ruffian
walked toward tho door, and Darrell,
springing over tho countor, wa3 at his
hcols in an instant.
"Don't look back, or I'll kill you."
Mcokly oboying tho Imporativo orders
of tho youth, Wolf moved slowly out
of tho room into tho corridor.
"Bo caroful j don't don't lot tho gun
go off," Wolf stammered as ho reached
tho head of tho stairs.
At this momont tho clamors of tho
Impatient crowd bolow aroso with tor
riblo distinctness, nnd ono shrill volco
was heard to say.
"Hurry up, AVolf, why don't you
throw them follcrs out?"
Exasperated beyond measure, ho was
on tho point of turning back, at tho risk
of Ills ilfo ; for after all his braggadocio
how could ho faco thoso bolow, disarm
ed and chased out of tho building by
ono of tho puny boys he had intended
so terribly to chastlso? But Darrell
was after him, and with ono vigorous
kicksont him bounding down tho wood
en stairs, with n thundering clatter,
and rolling over tho doorslll, thodofoat
cd bully actually tumbled out upon tho
street boforo ho could really recover his
equilibrium.
"Hollo! how's this? What's up?"
asked n dozon voices nt onco, as tho
dreaded man reappeared In this undlg
nifit'd shnpo, without having sont any
corpses down from tho window.
"Why, I simply kicked him down
stairs that's tho matter," responded
tho boyish volco of Darrell nt tho top;
"nnd if ho comes up hero again I won't
lot him off so easy. Do not bo afraid of
him ; I tookallhi3 weapons from him."
Wolf struggled to his feet, rubbing
his head, nnd presenting such a ludic
rous appearance that ho was greeted
with loud, jeers and bursts of laughter.
So complotoly had ho tumblod from his
lofty eminenco in tho eyes of thoso who
either admired or feared a bold mur
derer, that thoy who nn hour ago would
havo dreaded to offend him by a word
or look, now regarded him only with
contempt laughed at nnd derided him.
Novor beforo had the rough crowd
seen n man with nn established reputa
tion llko Mr. Wolf thus suddenly fall
to such a depth of degradation. All his
namo, fame, prcstlgo, melted away like
a mist, and ho was no longer feared
no lougcr respected by tho low thioves
and cut-throats around him only do-
splsed. Yc3, despised by the meanest
ot creatures, whom ho had oftentimes
bullied as though they had boon
hounds.
Tho dread which had surrounded his
namo seemed to vanish llko n mist.
"Licked by a boy I" "Kicked down
stairs." "Got his barkers took from
him!" wero tho murmurs of tho crowd.
At length a volco boldly taunted him
with "Whero'syourknlfo?" and anoth
er proposod "Threo cheers for tho boy
that licked Ihim."
Looking very little aud pusillanimous,
ho slunk away toward Montgomery
Street.
Such was Wolf's mortification, when
ho camo fully to realizo what a pltiablo
figure ho had cut, that ho left San Fran
cisco nnd wns seen in her strcots no
moro. Tho fatality which had apparent
ly thus far shioldcd and assisted him in
his murderous deeds suddenly deserted
him.
Ho was destined novor to commit
another murder, but was himself shot
dead in Sacramento within but threo
weeks after tho ovents narrated.
I no not know what beeamo of Kaynes,
or whethor ho is still allvo ; but I know
that Darrell, tho bravo boy whoso cool
ness and courago saved them both, is to
day n gentleman of position, residing
In a flourishing city of Novada.
Clerical Anecdotes.
In tho south of Now Jersey, somo
years ago.thoro travoled oversoraoof tho
hardest counties, n good, faithful hard
working brothor, named James Mooro,
as ho was familiarly called. Ho was
dovoted to tho Itinerancy. Atruoloyal
Methodist, plain, pointed, and sharp
In all his preaching nnd exhortations.
After ho had beon laboring a year in
ono of hi3 now Holds, ho gavo his peo
plo who dearly loved lilm, his farewell
sermon.
At its eio30 ho said: 'My dear
brothren, this Is my last address to
you. I'm going from you nnd you
may novor hear tho volco of James
Mooro ngaln.'
'Anion !' camo loudly from tho soat
boforo him.
Ho looked nt tho man with a littlo
surprlso but thinking It was n mistako
wont on.
'My days on earth will soon bo num
bered, I am an old man, nnd you
mny not only nover hear tho volco
of James Mooro, but novor seo his faco
again.'
'Amen!' was shouted from tho samo
seat, moro vigorously than boforo.
Thero was no mistaking tho design
now. Tho preacher looked nt tho man
ho know him to bo n hard grind'
lng man stingy and merciless to tho
poor.
Ho continued his address 'May tho
Lord bless all tho30 of you who havo
dono your duty, who havo honored
Him with your eubstanco, thoso who
linvft linnn lrlnil til ihn nnar. nnrl '
w - I- -,
Pausing nnd looking tho intruder
straight in tho oyo, and pointing to him
with his ftngor.
'May his curse rost on thoso who havo
cheated tho Lord and ground tho poor
under their hoelB. Saynmon to that,
brothor l'
Tho shot told. Ho was not inter
rupted ngaln.
In a Pennsylvania town thero was
nn excellent but eccentric clergyman
named Ross. Ho was about taking a
collection for somo especial object, and
had pleaded warmly in its bohalf. 'My
brethren,' ho said, I want you all to
glvo liberally to night nono of your
pennies or five-cent pieces, but lot every
DEM. - VOL. XXXVI NO. 25,
ono glvo a quartor, nnd to set you a
good oxamplo, I will glvo tho first my.
solf,' dropping n twenty-llvo cent ploco
in tho basket.
After tho collection was taken, ho
lifted up tho basket, looked them over
carefully, and thon remarked : 'I seo
that my quarter Is tho only ono here ;
so I shall tako it back again,' which ho
did, and put it in his pocket with cvl
dont disgust nt their meanness.
a. quaint tscotcn minister was givon
somowhat to exaggerating in tho pul
pit. His clerk reminded him of it and
Its ill-offects upon tho congregation. Uo
replied that ho was not awaro of it,
and wished tho clerk tho noxt timo
ho did it to glvo n cough by way of a
hint.
Soon afterward ho wns describing
Samson's tying tho foxca' tails togother.
Ho said, 'Tho foxes in thoso days wero
much larger than ours and thoy bad
tails twenty fut long.'
'Ahem!' camo from tho clerk's
desk.
'That is,' continued tho preacher,
'according to thoir measurement, but
by ours thoy wore fifteen fut long.'
'Ahem!' louder than before.
'But as you may think this extrav
agant, wo'll Just say thoy wero ten
fut?'
'Ahom! ahem!' still moro vigor
ous.
Tho parson icanod ovor tho pulpit
and slinking his fingor at tho clerk
said : 'You may cough thero all tho
nlcht long, mon, I'll nao tak off a fut
moro. Would yo ha, tho foxes wid
nao teols nt n' ?' Christian Weekly.
Row Joo Lost ills lict.
An old fellow named Joo Poolo, very
eccentric and an Incorrigible stutterer,
was a constant loungor at tho tavern
lnWateifleld, Me.
Ono day n travolor from a distant
part of tho Stato, arrived at tho tavern
and was met by an old acquaintance, a
resident of tho town. After somo con
versation on different toplcs,tho traveler
was addressed as follows :
By tho way, Brown, look out for old
Joo Poolo to-night. You will know him
quick enough by his stuttering. He will
bomro to como around, and offer to bet
that you'vo hot got a whole shirt to
your back. If you tako him up, yon
will surely loso by a trick he's got. Ho
Invariably offers to lay this wager and
always wins.'
'Very well,' said tho travolor, "I will
not let him got ahead of mo. Much
obliged for tho caution.'
Tho evening arrived, nnd a large
crowd was collected in tho bar room.
Our friends were thero, nnd old Joo
Poolo was present and in his element.
'I toll youwh-what. You aro nicely
dressed, butl'll bet you ten dollars, you
haven't got a wholo sh-shirt to your
back.'
'I'll tako tho bet,' said tho stranger.
'Put tho money in tho landlord's hands.'
This being dono, tho travoler pulled
off his coat and was about following
suit with his vest, when old, Joo cried
out
'Ho-ho-hold on ! You'vo lost! Ha-
half your shirt is fr-front, and tho other
half Is on your ba-back !'
anoro was a roar oi laugmor, dui ino
new-comer did not mind it, but pulled
off his vest too, and quietly turning hla
back to Joo displayed to his astonished
gazo a shirt neatly folded and placod
underneath his suspenders.
ur course tno laugn was turnoa upon
Poolo, who acknowledged that ho had
lost tho wager. Ho nover offered that
hot again.
The most faithful Iovor who has a
namo nnd belng.outsldoof trashy novels,
lives in Danbury. Tho parents of the
young lady aro opposed to tho compan
ionship, but it don't mako him proud.
Sometimes tho old gentleman reaches
him with his boot beforo ho can cot over
tho fonco, but tho young- man doesn't
lay up ill feelings on account of that ;
ho only smiles on the despoller of his
pants when ho meets him, and calls it
"heaping coals of firo on his head."
Saturday evening ho thought ho would
got up a surprise for tho old chap. Ho
put a paving stono in each of his coat
tall pockets, and started for tho fonco
as usual. Tho old gontlcman let out
for him with increased enthusiasm, and
caught him caught him good. Then
ho laid down on tho grass and said t "I
dlo by tho hand of an assassin." Bnt
tho young man passed on without a
word, and smiled tho most heavenly
smllo of forgiveness ovor seen on that
street.
Stop the Intehest. Daniel Web-
Bter onco dined with an old Boston mer
chant, and when thoy camo to tho wino,
dusty old bottlo was carefully de
canted by Peter and passed to tho host
Taking tho bottlo ho poured out Mr.
Webster's gloss and handed it to him.
Thon pouring another for himself he
hold it up to tho light, and said. "How
do you llko It, Mr. Webster?" "I
think it is a lino spec! mon of old Port."
"Now you can't guess what that cost
mo," said tho host. "Surely not," said
Mr. Webster, "I only know that it is
oxcclleut." "Well, now, I can tell you,
tor I mado a caroful cstlraato tho other
day. When I add tho interest to tho
first price, I find that it cost mo tho sum
of Just ono dollar and twenty-flvo cents
por glass!" "Good gracious t you don't
say so," said Mr. Webster; and drain
ing his glass, ho hastily prcsonted It
again with tho remark, " Fill up as
quick ns you can, for I want to stop that
mlsorablo interest,"
How he Got Our. Max Adler, In
speaking of solitary confinement, ro
cently Bald: "When wo lived out In
Missouri, many years ago, thero was a
law prohibiting tho system of solitary
confinomont In tho Stato and county
prisons. So, in our town, a man named
Tucker was convicted of a crimo and
eont to Jail. TJie Jail was empty beforo
Tuck or came, nnd after ho had beon in
It forty-eight hours hla lawyer moved
for his ulschargo upon tbo ground Unit,
as Tucker was alone, his imprisonment
wo3 in violation of tho law. Tho Judge
thought about it all night, and stirred
around among his law books, and tho
next day Tucker was set nt liberty
Thoy changed that statute tho very
noxt year,
Ono Inch (twelve- tint or IM cnplvatfnt J
Houpatulttypeiouu or lwolniieitlonj(,lAO nine
lutcitloni, JAW
SPACE.
Ono lDCh...m.Mi
.tita J9JM UM Jo.nj
Two incnes.
Three inehM
V.ir IttithAft..
B.SU O.UII V.W
bf VX) ,
18V0
25,00
lb'.iiq lstflt hVSS ao.oo
t ik) r rwi 11 ml 17 (V)
quarter oolnmn.
"TiTo iw m .w
mil column
;ao.w wToo 5653 ooJ liwloo
una column
. .. . iir,r' Mntlca. ll.CO
KXCCUtors or au,"'","V,""
Auditor's or Aeslnee' Notice, 120. . .
Local notices, twenty ent n Hue,
... ... . . ... - n.w 1 1 Mlnmtl.
tV per year for tbo first lwo linos, nnd ll.'W tor
encli additional line. 1
Humorous.
What coos most ngalnst a farmer's
grain 1 His reaping machino.
A Pittsduiio porson suggosts paper
beefsteaks to taKo tho placo of tho lea
thor nrtlclo nowcommount restaurants
In that city.
The man who picked lipndoublo-tall-cd
wasp has lost his lntcro3t in entom
ology; ho studies choralstry and sur
gery. The land of a Weslorn farm is do
scribed as being so wet that tho owner
hoes his corn with a dipper and digs his
potatoes with a hook nnd lino.
The Btl Albau's (Vt.) Zlettcngcr
thinks "sky bluo is a pretty color for
ceilings, but not so tasty for country
milk at eight cents a quart."
A young) man In Dayton is sad ovor
tho thought that ho has a soven inch
lizard in his stomach. Somo folks aro
very particular.
A coitONEit's jury in California re
cently "sat on" a man who was asleep,
whllo tbo official corp30 was lying un
molested In an adjoining bed.
A man was arrostod forgoing lo sleep
nnd snoring too loud on tho streets of
Wheeling, West Virginia, tho other
day. Ho was fined for waking the
policeman.
Wisconsin nowspapers nro making
an unusual to do nbout nn Infant born
without brains. Wo always supposed
that such was almost tho rulo in Wis
consin. A pair of distressed parents in Troy
aro anxious to euro thoir four-yoar-old-son
of an irresistible tendency to com
mit arson. Tho New York World wick
edly suggests arsenic.
Sausaoe machines in Council Bluffrf,
Iowa, don'tmince thoir meatfinoenough
to Suit tho public taste. A baby's hnnd
Was recently found in a sausarro there.
and the fltidor naturally complained of
tno nones.
A Vermont agricultural editor gives
the following directions for cultivating
roots: "First blast a hole In tho ground,
then plant tho loot, then build a firo
over it to Keep n warm." this is what
ho knows about farming.
An old sailor finding a corked bottlo
floating on tho sea, opened It, with tho
following soliloquy: "Rum. I hono:
gin, I think; tracts, by jingo!" and
men ne turow mom oacx into tno
water.
A . Innnmnl mn n n r f mmr . ...nnlll.
and pretensions, said, in responso to a
compliment to some mutton on hor
tame, "un, yes ; my nusDanu always
buys the best. Ho isn't stingy, and,
besides, he's a great eplcac."
In Whitoly county, Indiana, thoro Is
a now-fangled corn dropped It drops
two rows nnd hunts ground squirrels nt
the samo timo. All tho operator has to
do is to lean up against a tree and sweat
until tho horn blows.
The Cleveland Herdhl records tho
burial of a policeman in that city, and
says his remains wero " followed to
thoir last roastiug place by a portion of
the polico force." Tho proof reader
when lost heard from was en route for
California.
A prisoner arralgnod beforo a Bo
corder In Now Orleans was told : " I
really don't know whethor I had bet
ter lino you SI or $10 ; what's your idea
about it?" Prisoner " Your Honor,
all I havo to plead 13 that you will, not
set down aught in malice,"
A few days ago a colored man In
Halifax county, North Carolina, was
exhibiting to a party of admiring
frionds tho docilo qualities of his favor
ite mule by pulling his tail and other
wiso caressing him. Tho coffin was
made of poplar plank so says the
Roanoko News.
A remarkable dog, in Auburn,
Now York, whenover It loses its mis
tress in tho strcots, makes for tho street
railway, gets aboard tho cars, and keeps
strict watch until tho latter reaches tho
streot on which the canine's mistress
lives. Tho dog then jumps off, and jogs
up tho strcot to its homo.
As four or live, darkies wero passing
an agricultural implement store down
soutn.onoor mem pointing to a culti
vator, saiu: "A. man can jissit on uat
tuing an' rue wnno no is piougning,"
"Golly," said tho other, "do rascals was
too sham to think of dat 'foro do nirr.
gers was freo."
The Fort Wayne Sentinel makes tho
following clieerful announcement: "A
coffin wareroom has been established on
Wayno street, in the rear of tho Sentinel
building. Any ono feeling liko attack
ing tno editor win savo his relatives
trouble by coming around that way and
selecting his box."
A thrifty cltlzon effected Insurance
on tho lifo of hl3 wife to tho amount of
$10,000 tho other day, took homo a box
of tho littlo red Maryland plums, and
enjoyed a wholo evening watching his
who eat tnom. xtis enterprise una us
roward. Deducting $298 for funeral ex
penses, ho is now $0,702 richer than ho
was a week ago.
A newly elected Saulro in a certain
town, having occasion tho other day lo
perform tho marrlago ceremony for the
first tlmo, got tho affair considerably
mixed, aud wound up by saying: "Suf.
fer littlo children to como unto them."
at which tho brldo remarked, "Thauk
you. John, lot's go; that's all wu
want."
The Indians In California aro learn
ing tho emotional insanity plea in ex
tenuation of their lrrogularitles. A
man In Trinity Contro, Ualirornla, was
recently shot at by a presumedly friend,
ly Indian, aud upon demanding tho
cause, tho imuan oounueu on wun tno
rifle, crying out, " Mo heap crazy ! Mo
too much crazy ! Mo too much crazy I"
The Danbury A'ewa says: "A Balm
fort avenuo man was observed going up
homo this morning with a gun that
will carry at least an ounce ball. As ho
llvos next door to a vounrr man who Is
learning to play Rory O'Moro on n pair
of cymbals, wo havo thought it best to
print an extra numuer oi cujuua oi uur
nnxt Issue. Orders left at tho nows
stands or this ofllco will be attended to."
An old toper was brought beforo tho
Omaha polico court a fow days sinco to
answer to tho chargo of drunkenness,
and pleaded tho constitutional provision
that ho ought not to ho tried twlco for
tho samo offence, asking tho Judgo ir
thoro wasn't something of thatBort in
tho law. Tho Judgo said thero was.
"Thon," said tho inebrlato, t'lf you'll
send down to Lincoln and bring Gover
nor Butler up hero, I can prove by him
that I haven't been sober, in fifteen
years. It's tho same old drunk, Judge;
It's tho Bamo old drunk."
A Cool. Belatipn. How louchlujr
was tho grief displayed in B at a
funeral a littlo out of town 1 Tbo un
dertaker, who was directing matters in
a very professional and proper way,
noticed a man giving orders, and, as
ho thought, rather eucroachlug upon
tho duties and privileges of his ofllce.
"And who aro you, my friend, that
aro so busy about hero?"
"Oh J you don't know mo?"
"No, 1 don't." .... ..
"Well, I'm the corpso s brother,"
Jlarptr's Magazine.