xt (pimitlnnit
H ATES, OF TiinpTISTNG.
' ''!"" ' If IT
and
H PUBLISHED KVEltY FRIDAY MOltNINU
tnTHitoot.o;tniAN nun.mrto krahtiib
court iiocsk, itLooMsnunn, pa., nv
CHARLES B. BROCKWAY,
uditoh and rnormnTon,
Torstf-Tvro Collars a Yoar payaMo In adraneo.
TOD PRINTING
Of Alldesrrlptlons executed with neatness nnd
dispatch ntrcasonablo rates.
Ono lath, (twclro lines or It, equivalent In
Nonpareil type; ono or twoliiierlloti,l,W throe
Insertions, tiw ,
11. , CM ... I
1 'sr.vcir.
1U;
. n i. li . . .,, , ,fi , , ,
It l"il . i lf., ,. li N
. -IfC 11.,,'t ' '-( I ,,,, i I
'.l I'Ci ,l ) ,-, .mi,, .- , .
Ill 'III lull , ,.,H1 , , . I
Oaeluoh. . t7 loo t,oo .
Four Inches....: t.in)
(iimrtermhtmn lo.on 13,") II
iinif in! 11 in ii i vwi HUM on
V.'M ll.'.l U.
m a.ro
ono coJumn,..A.v.. .Jv.ixi u,uu m,w tt, luu.uo
Eiectitor' or Administrator's Notice, H.W
Auditor's or A!suct Notice, tiJX.
Local notices, twenty cents a lino.
. Card, In the "Business Wreclory" column,
2,(io per year for Ino first lwo lines, und lljufjr
each additional, lino.
VOLUME VI. ---NO. 16.
BLOOMSBURG, PA., FRIDAY, APRIL 10, 1872.
UOL. DEM. - VOL. XXXVI NO. 9,
Ssrl v' A.
citj it-.
00 to,n1
5i mi
.01 2i.rl
HO.oil
ftvnn
Columbia Oountv Official Dirootory.
VMifrnl.tltlar-Wll.MAM KLWKt.t.. ,,
loc(ci(e Jtulucs HUM DiSnit, ISAAC) B. MOK
line. JVoWi!monrj,.tc.-nurioi.rii H. nispt.rn,
JirpMcr (Vcenicr-W l i.i.i amson 1 1 . J ACOli Y.
DlttHH Attorney .TAME, lmvsott, Jit,
Hheriff AAtsoN smith.
Mm-wor Ihaao Dr.wirr.
TVntiirMwU'tt.l.fAM I.AMOV.
OitiimufnJiPM l -viium RollllINH, ltln.Ut J,
ilFKHKlt. 11 I l.I.I niMi-rfiK
Ctniftfonrr' Clerk WILLIAM KlltCKIIAUM,
AulitorV. J. CAMI'IIKI.I,, DANIEL l.T.K,
CJIAIlI.M CoNNKIt
furon'r t'HAiit.ra (1, MtntPrtY.
Jvm Cbmmtej(oncr Isaac M';Dutnr;, Jonie Mo
AKAI.L.
County A'ijirrfnfrntl(nf CiiAlit.es O. DAltKLCY
llhir.m iVrr Win (-Dirt-dor, S. II. Mtt.T.tat
V1M.IAM KltAMKH, lllraiiiiHinrK, nnd .loiiNson
i uuiunvuu, l iiauljh f.ufir.ii, etc y
Blcomsburg Official Directory,
Jlloolnillirn llankmtl Co. JOHN A. FCKSTOM
Prf uncut, II, II. Oiioiz, Cushter.
rirsl Rational lankCllAH. It, l'AXToS.l'rcs't ,
J. 1. Tuhtin, CnOiler.
uiumbMriiniMuiualmiintinmtlamlIJianAt
iociationi:. II. LtirLE, l'rea't., C, V. Mili.es
arc-;.
ttoomhtru HulUUnn anil &'vrt(7 -Vml AHfinrt'
Jltocmtiburtr Mutual tuning lunU Association
J.J. lki;uwi.!l 1 TthlUt'IlI, li. U. XIAItKI.KY, wee y,
Bloomsburg Directory.
pAl'EHHAOH Jut received irndTorsnlontthi
I Ccj.UMlilAH Ofilce.
CLOTHING, &C.
DAVID I.OWKNnultO, Merchant Taltor.Mnln
Ht.,fibovo American House.
WM. MOItKIH, Merchant Tnllor.ovcr llown
mocks cmifectlonery,opi)03lto Cndmans fur.
nlturu warerooms.
DltUaS, CHEMICALS. &U.
if r. I.UTZ, I)ruBglRtnnUAi)othecary.Malni.t,
lj, below tho I'okiUlUco.
CLOCKS, WATCHES, AO.
Oi:.HAVA(l!:,denlcrln Clocks WntchcH nnd
. Jewelry, Main at., Just below tho American
House.
f OUIH llCHNHAItD, Watch and Clock maker
l near soutbenst corner Main nnd Iron sts.
n CATHCAKT, Wntrh nnd Clock Malier.Mar-
11.
, kct street, below Main.
UOOTS AND SHOES.
l.i M.KNOHIt, Dealer In Coots and Shoes, latest
i'j. and 1m hi styles, corner Main and Mnrket
utrccl)., In the old Tost Ulllce.
D
iWIl) I1I:TZ, lloot and ShoemaKer, Malnst.
below llartman'H store, west of Market.
UIINKY KI.HIM, Manufacturer and dealer In
llootH nnd Hhoes, Urocerles, etc., ilalu street,
bust HloomsburL'.
PHOPESSIONAL.
1)
It. H. C. llOVri;it, Hurgeoa Dentist, ilainst.,
IIUUVU II1U IIUTL JIUUhti,
D
It. WM. M ltr.HKH, Surgeon and I'hyMclau.
Ulllce over tho KlislMallunalDanlc.
0(1. IIAIIKLKY, Attorney-at-I,aw. Offlce,2d
, lloorlu Uxchuuge llloc'k,ueartho"Uzchauge
lintel."
1 II. McKKLVY.M. D.,Hnrgenn and l'hjslclan
J north side Main st,, below Market.
T C. HUTTKlt, M. D. Hurpeou and Pnyslclsu
t) . Market street, nbovo Main.
I 1). UOIIISON, Attorney-at-Law, Olllee Hurt
tJ. man's building. Main street.
DK. II, F. KINNEY, Hurgeon HentlM. Teeth
extracted wllhoutpaln: Main St.. nearly op.
oslte Kplscopal Church,
T It. KVANH, M. D.. HurReon nnd Physician,
i) south side Main street, below Market.
DU. A. U TIIKNKU, Physician nnd Shikcoii, of
Ilro over Klelm's Drim Htore, residence on
door below Itev. D. J. Waller.
MILLINEHY & FANCY GOODS.
n PKTlUtM AN, Millinery and Fancy OoodN
fj, opposite Uplscopnl Church, Main st,
MIKS I.1ZZIK IIAltKI.KY, Milliner, ltamsey
building Main street.
MISS M. DllKltlCKSO.N, Millinery and Fancy
(loods.Malu st below Market,
MIIS. JULIA A. A HADK HAltlCI.HY, I.3dlo,'
Cloaks nnd Dress Pattern.,, southeast coruer
Main and West sir,
rplli; MISHi:H IIAIIMAN Millinery and Fancy
1 Uoods, Mnlu bt., below American llouse,
HOTELS AND SALOONS.
POItlCH IIOTIII,, by T. lknt. Taylor, east end
x ui jia:
I Main street.
MERCHANTS AND GROCERS,
( C. MAHH, Dry Ooods and Notions, south-
west corner Main and Iron slB.
I.IOX A WKH11, Confectionery nnd llakery,
P ivholesalo and retail, Exchange lllock.
HC.HOWr.ll, HatspndCnps.llootsandHhoes,
. Main st above Court llouse,
J II, MAIZK, Mnmmcth Orocery, line Oro
. rerles, Fruits, Nuts, Provision, ifcc, Main
ami Centre Streets.
M'KF.IA'Y, Ni:AL & CO., dealers In Dry Ooods,
Orocerles, Flour, Feed, Halt, Fish. Iron, Nails,
etr.,N. D. eor. Main and Matket sts.
Q II. MILLKIt A- FON, dealers In Dry Ooods,
D. Orocerlcs, (lueeusware, Flour, Walt, Khoes,
Notions, etc., Main st.
MISCELLANEOUS.
OM. CllllIHTMAN, Saddle, Trunk A Harness.
. maker, Hhlvo's lllock Main Street.
W. ltOIlUINS.Iltiuordealcrscconddoorfrom
1 northwest corner Main and Iron sis.
t.i J. TIIOHNTON, Wall Paper, Window Bbsdos
ii. a
and Uxturcs, lUu ert block. Malu St.
p W.coitEI.I., Fnrnlturo llooms, three story
U brick, Main Btrc ct, v. est of Mai ket st.
HIiOSEXSTOCK, Photographer, over ltobblus
A Eyer's Store, Main st.
I S. KUHN.dealcrln Meat, Tallow, etc.. Chcm
1' lierlln's alley, lear of American House,
PAMUEI, JACOHY.MarWe end llrown Stone
OWorks, East llloomsburg.Perwlck road.
WM, HAIU!, dealer lu furniture, trunks, ceder
1 ' v lllow ware, near tho Forks Hotel.
,i II. I1IDLEM AN, Agent for Muuson's Copper
1'j'Tubular UuhtulLE Itotl.
p FOSTEll, Olue Maker, and Whlto and Fancy
V. Tanner, Seottowu,
VOTE HOOKS, and blank NOTCH, with or with
JA nut exemption, lor salo at tho Comwiuian
Office.
Catawissa.
By. DA f, I.MAN, Merchant Tailor, fjecoud St.
. Ilobblns' Hulldlng,
nH.J. K. ItOlIIlINH. Surgeon and Physician
Second St below Main.
GIMIEHT A Kl.INE, dry goods, groceries, and
general merchandise, Main Street
I II, KIHTI.EH, "Oittnwlssa House," North
" , Corner Main uuu second Streets,
I KEII.EH, Illllard Salonn, Oysters, nnd Ice
11. Cream In season Main St.
M M, IIIIOIIST, dealer In OencralMerchandise
in. ury HoniiH. urocerles c.
Sl'SQlIEHANNA or llrlck Hotel, 8, Kosten.
bauder Prnprlelor.south.east corner Main and
jii-uuu nireei.
M. II. AIIHOTT, Attorney at lai7, Main St.
Light Street.
HP. OMAN & Co., Wheelwright!, first door
. ubove Hchool House.
10I1N A. OMAN, Manufacturer and dealer In
" Hoots and Shoes
UB.ENT, dealer In Btoves anil Tin ware In
all Its branches.
pl-'TPU ENT. Mlller.nnd dealer In all kinds ot
imreViaVei' tiour, Ftcil, rtc. All kinds olUruln
Espy.
T W. EDOAH, Susquehanna, Planing
I and Box Manufacluitng,
M1U
Buck Horn.
M
& U.W- If. fsltnm Alfl.MI .UnUru f
- 1 M wvv.v. hum bvuviHI UlVIVUIimilU
Orangevillo Directory.
Oil. IIEUUINU A nU0Tlir.lt,Carpentcrsnnd
Ilullders, Main St., below Pino.
BIHCK IIOTEI, nnd refreshment Saloon, by
llohr M'Heury cor.ot Mtyn and Plnost.
lt. O. A.MK(lAH(lEI,,Phylclnnnnd8urgcon
Mnin sl next door to Good's Hotel,
DA VII) HEKUINO. Flour nnd Orlst Mill, nnd
Dealer In grain, Mill Street,
I AM EH H. IIAIIMAN. Cabinet Make; und Un.
t dertalitr. Main St., below Pino.
SCHUYt.EIl A CO., Iron fouuuersTMachlnlsTs
and Mnuufactuters of plows, Mill St.
y AMU El, H11AHPI,EHM. Maker of tho Hay burst
O Ornln Cradle. Main Wt.
11,1,1AM DELONO Blioemakcrnnd manufac
turer of llrlck, Mill Ht west of Pine
Philadelphia Directory.
lieslauraut and Ding Rooms.
FRANK SMITH, Propilolor.
PHILADELPHIA,
N. 11. Tho location Is central, tho assistants
ttentlve, nnd the tables supplied with tho best
lio market ullords, ircsh and well cooked. Olvo
1 ii i a call.
AINWIUGHT & CO.,
WHOLESALE GItOCEItS,
N, E. Corner Second nnd Arch Streets,
Pmr.ADr.M'iilA,
Dealers In
TEAS, BYHUrS, COFFEE, BUOAIt, MOLASSES
nice, Bi-icES, ni carti soda, ac, ac.
IrOrdcrs will receive prompt attention,
may 10.07-tfr
JJARVEY U. WALKER,
wmt
MEAR, SC1IROPP &
CO.,
IMPORTERS AMD,T01llir.R.SOK
CHINA, OLASS AND QUEENSWAIUJ,
No. 1C8 NORTH SECOND ST.,
PHILADELPHIA.
.eu-Orlglnal assorted rackaccs of Oueenswaro
coustantlv on hand, iebil'7.-tl.
mm
Bucinenn Cards.
g H. LITTLE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Otnco Conrt-IIouso Allev. lielnw tho Cnl.lTW
litAN OfBco, llloom6burB Pn.
Q V. BROCKWAY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
nLooMsnono, r..
a'Sr OrnrE Court House AlleT. In the (?o.
r.VJMiirAN building. Jnnl,'67,
c.
W. MILLER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
RIAN Odlrn. Rnimllru Hnclr.Pnp ntiil TnHtnn
nfflnannitrlllni,,. All-- rAr,r
collected. liloomsburg Pn. sen.-0'67
JOHN CLARK,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
OFFICK nlinvrt Ifnwr'n Htnr.. Inlti Rtrpet.
Uloomsburg, I.i,
JOIJERT F. CLARK,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Otllcn STuln Street liplrw tlm nnnrt Tlnnsn.
llhiouisburg Penu'n.
B.
FRANK iSAUU
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
I1LOOMSP.URO, I'A.
Olllee with J. O. FreezcCrowcr's Iilock.
Can be consulted lu Oermar or English.
meh'i'J'T. t
QHARLES C. LEIDY",
ATTOKSKY-AT-B.A'W'.
OFFICE ON OAK STREET, MOUNT CARMEI.
noi;tiiujiiieri.asd county, ta.
ColU ctlons oromotlv made. Convevnnclui:
lually e.ecuted an another business conncct-
o with his poit'sslou eiueiully atttnoed to in
.Montour, Noitlmmbeiluud and Columbia couu-
ILS. Ill-.lS.l'U.
JTEW STOVE AND TlJN SHOP.
ISAIAU IIAOENEUCH,
Main Street one dnnr nhnvi. V.. Menitrnb.ill's
rttoto.
A large assortment of Stoves, Heaters nnd
Ranges constantly on hand, and for sale nt tho
Tlnnlim lnnlllts bTunehftHrnrefntlvatlendedto.
snd satlstactlon guarante(d.
.in wars oi an ninus wuoicsaio nna reian. a
'lal Is requested,
Janl'71
jLOOMSBURQ
Xil A KHIiK W O II Ii. S.
MAIN STI1KKT, I1CT.OW MARURT,
DLOUMSHUltO, PA.
Monuments. Tombs. Headstones. An. Work
ueatlv executed. Orders liv mall will receive
special attention. N. II. Work ilellveied freool
cliurgn. T. h. 0 UNTO N. Froprlt tor.
octri.l.tf. P. O.iioxlW.
Y
ETERINARY'.
AUGUST FRIEND,
Into frrtti HArmn .. 1 fr. .i 1,1.. ihi-i.Iia.1 n 4ttj
public as a celebruU'tl
HORSE AND COW DOCTOR,
and all other animals, for which his charges nro
moucrale, lie can aiicuiH be loundcan sldo oi
Herwlck road, ncats. y,.Iacoby's Maible Y'aid,
ARGAINS BARGAINS,
QUICK BAI.KS AND SMAM. VROFITrt.
BAVH YOUR MONEY.
Gntn
HENRY YOST.
East Bloomsbiiig Pa., tar all kinds of tho best
home and city made
1' u li it it u ui;,
Prices reasonable and the be' ork done.
Jnu l'H tl
"y U LOAN WORKS,
1) A K V I b lj E PA.
WILLIAM II. LAW,
Manufacturer oi Wrought Iron Bridges, Hollers,
Gasholders, Fireproof Buildings, Wiough' Iron
ifoouog, uoonng rramcs, f looring and uoors,
Farm Gates and fencing, also Wrought Iron pip
ing, Slack nnd all kinds of Smith Work, Ac.
Repalis promptly nttcmUs! to.
N I! I lawlugs and Estimates supplied.
nelW'71-ly.
NEW YORK. CORK. AND LIVERPOOL
NEW AMI l-ULIPOWERKIl STKA M-1IIPS.
THE SIX LAHGFJSr IN '11111 WORLD.
OCEANIC, CELTIC, REPUBLIC.
ATLANTIC, tlAl.TIC. ADRIATIC,
U,lo ions burden 3,HD h. p. i ach.
Sailing from New York on SATURDAYS, from
Liverpool on THURSDAYS, and Cork Harbor
tho day lollowlng.
From tho Whlto Star Dock, I'avonla Terry.
Jersey Cllv.
Passenger accommodations (for all daises)
uurivuiiiu, eoiiiuiiiiug
MA. Jit v si'i'.r.u, akii (.uiwruur.
Saloons, state-rooms. smnklnroom nml bath
rooms lu midship section, where least motion Is
jeir, nurgeons unu riewarucsscs accompany
these stcameis,
RATI.a Sutooll. ?80 cold. Steernee. S'tll rurren.
cy. 'i lioso wishing to send lor liiends Irom the
OldCountiy cuu now obtain stcemgo iiieoald
certlllcatcs. 'l:l euireuev.
Piunngeis booked 1o or from nil parts of
Aineilca, Paris, Hamburgh, NorHny, Sweden,
Exe'uislou tli k'tts grained at lowest rates.
Pralls trom JL1 upuuids,
roriuspictlon oi plans undotherlnfoimatlou,
npply to No. HI Bioudway. New York.
J. 11, SPARKS, Astent.
Or to W: PEACOCK. 1
Junlltf Bloonibburg, In.
PERFECT
COMBUSTION.
SIGNAL LIGHT.
Tho first vnd only self.fecdlhg Anthracite Coal
mow ever uivemeu mat win I'eriectiy
Consume nil the gases.
Warranted tho BEST HKAiINU BTOVJJ
the eonniry.
Send for Prtco List and circular to
MITCHELL, BI'EVENHON A CO.,
Slovo Mauulactnrers, Pittsburgh, Pu,
in
Miacollanoona.
JJENTIBTItY,
11. U. HOWER, DENTIST,
icctrully otrcrs his professional services t(
adles and gsiitlcmcn of Bloomsburg and VI
!v. Holsnrenaredlnntlend in nil tlm vnri
ousopcrntlons In thollnoofhls profession, and
is provided with tho latest Improved Porcki.ain
1 1 sin which win ue iiiserieu on .eoni plating
silver nml rubber bsse to look as well nstho lint
ural teeth. Teeth extracted by All tho nownnil
most approved methods, nnd all nperntlons on
tho teeth carefully niiel propel ly attended to.
Residence nnd otllrn n few doors nbnvo lbs
wmn iiousc,snmo sine.
tiinomsiinre, .inn.1'71 ly
r
IE GREAT MAGICAL
53 A I II V O It C K U I
Will forco a benillirill set. nf Wliltkora nr Mn..
Incho, m from two to three months, on nnv ner-
son over twelve years old. It Is ime or Ibo best
preparations to make the whlskeis grow that
uvcrwns known. Onebottlo e.f II IsMilllclcnt to
prounco n very strong beard. II does not In nuy
wny slnln or Injure tho Rkln Try HI It Is no
huiiibu. price W cents per bottlo. Kent bv
tnnll imst pnld, to any nildrcss, nn rerelnt til
price. Address WILLIAM C. WAGNER.
Aier.dtvllle,
ni 71-ly. Adams County, Pennn
' E- T'. ANtJE A G E K C Y .
VVvomln . oi, nn.
iCttm.......... 4,ut.(",
Hi 'ion N. 4X,tH)
North Auierl.H msmiiu
' By 4W,inu
luivruatlouAi
NMitaln N. Y
l.W.KIJ
Mereimnis
Hpriii'itlPld
Fanneis' Daiivllln.H.Y
Albany Cltv !
Danville, lloro 'then
Atlantic, N.Y" .
aertr.nuia, N. Y
J,f")
tn,i
Mo.ooo
Mutual.
i.tno.utu
FREAS HKOWN, Avrnt,
inni21'7l-ly.
BLooMsnunn In,
JINKLEY KNITTING MACHINE
THE SIMPLEST. CHEAPEST AND Brj,T IN
USE! II AS HUT ONE NEEDLE! A
CHILI) CAN RUN IT I
Designed tsreclallyfr.rthou.se of families, and
adles who deilre tohnlt for tho market. Will
do every stitch of Iho knitting In a stocking.
widening and narrowing as readily nsby lmud.
Arc splendid for wnisleds aril fincy work,
TAKING FIVJ: lllH'KlirxT ITIlCTKi rl.'
,.T.1'f L11 ' Ale very ensy to niannge, nnd not
liable to eet out of orili r. liven- I'limiK- wi,nni,i
have one.
To want an Agftit In tvety town tolntroduco
nnd sell them, lowborn Vteollcr the most llbeinl
Inducements. Semi lerriuve hrnlnr h,i,i stntn,,)..
stocking. Addicss. 1
lUNKI.f.V KNITTING MACHINE CO.,
nov. lu,'7l-ly. Bath, Mo.
0. H O YY'ER,
us opened a flrsl-cluss
BOOT, B1IOE, HAT CAP, AND i UR STOKE.
nt the old stand on .srnlnStreet, Bloomsburg.n rew
doors above tho Court lloue. His stock Is com
posedortho very latest nnd beststyles over otter
ed to the citizens ol Columbia County. Ho can
nccommodato tho publlcwlthtliofollowlng goods
at the lowest rates. Men's heavy double soled
sloga boots, men's double and single tap soled
kip boots, men's heavy stoga shoes of all kinds,
men's Hno boots and shoes of all grades, boy's
doublo soled boots aud.shocK ol all kinds, men's
glove kid Balmoral shoes.meu's, women's, boys's
uud misses' lasting gaiters, women's glove kid
Polish very line, women's morocco Balmorals and
cult shoes, women's very line kid buttoned gait.
... i-uw. . uuka ui mi uesL.ipuons com pee
ged and sewed. r
He would also call atlcutlon to his flno cssort
ment ol
ATS, CAPS, FURS AND NOTIONS.
which comnrlses all tlm new
etiesat prices which eannotfaillo suit all. These
goods aro ollered at tho lowest cash rates and
win uu gunruniccei m givo satisniction, A Call
Is solicited before purchasing elsewhero as It Is
believed that hotter bargains are to be found
than at any other place In tho county.
rPHEORA NG E VI LLE'MA NUFAC-
JL TURING COMPANY.
JtASUKACTUllEttSOf
AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS
of tho niobt Approved Pitttorns.
nJI'.J c;sr!!i-;,
of all descriptions.
DEALERS! IN
General Merchnmllso, Lumber, &c.,&c.
ORANGEVILLE, PA.
Wo would nnnouuco to the nublln In fenet.ii
tlmt wo have t,ikpn the well known Ai,rl,iil mr.
ul WorkB of this place and shall make It oiiralm
hi iiiiiiiiuae.iiiu r irst uiass Agricultural imple
ments equal toauy other makers in tho Stale,
such nj
Thfcsliliipr HIc!iincs,
Both Lever nnd Tread Power.
Plows of every lioscriplion.
among which will bo Iho celebr.ttod
KNOB MOUNTAIN HERO,
acknowledged by all to bo tho best plow extant
tu. uiui.iiiuvi, iieu itiu
t;::;:::il'l), fi(cr:i'i' I'atcul and
Tho 5Ioi!j:o.jc.
ALSO, DOUBLE CORN PLOWS,
i:!!lv:iti)is,'
ami t'ttsdiiSH
of every description. Wo slinll use uono but tho
bet materlalsiind employ nono but competent,
nnd experienced mtnliaulcs nnd our prices will
oiimpaio lavorably with any oilier mauulactur
trs. Country Produce. Lumber. Old Iron, taken In
exchange. Woalsobavou store in connection
with our Agilcultur.il Works, whom mav bo
lotiiul n full assortment of MKltcl IAN DISK
W'hleti will bu sold at siiihII jirollts. Glvo us a
caiineioio puicnasius ei.sewneru nuu we guar
antee s.ittstuetlon
WM. JOHNSON, W. II. SMITH,
Picsldtut. Secreliuy.
marchSTMy,
Hotels.
lOENTON
HOTEL.
W. F. PIATT, Proprietor,
BENTON, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA.
This well known Houso havluir been mit in
thorough repair Is now open for thu reception ill
visitors, iso pious iiuvu I't-eu spare u to ensure
the tierlect comlort of enests. iflm tiroisi ir.t.ir
also runs n Stage from tho Hotel to Ulitomsburg
nnd Intermediate points on Tuesday, Thiirsda
and Saturday ol each week. Hay pifc71
rJMlE ESPY HOTEL.
ESPY', COLUMBIA COUNTY, Pn.
Tho undorslgned would Inform thotra-'velllna
iubllctli.it lie hastokrn llioubovonamod ostab
ishiueutuud thoroughly retlttAd the Niime lor
Uio perlert convenience of tilsguests. Ills larder
will bo stocked with tho best the market altnrds,
Tho choicest liquors, wines und elgursulwnys to
UV lOUUll III IHN our,
WILLIAM PF.TTIT.
Fp 1'H
THE -NATION
Its Rulers and Institutions.
IN ENOLI.VII AND GERMAN.
Nothing like It. strikes cvorybody us Just the
bonk they need. It is uu KncyelopiedU ot the
Government, HI pge puges in it, nro ol them
sell es worth tho price ol Uiti hook. OwrliUopiitM
mid only '.'.60. A lllcli liars t l for Cunvussers
ladles and ge utlemeii laiunrs, tcne-hcrs und
students. One uyent took 15 ortlcrt in u Jew Units,
tt Uh vlriitlar (i ,ic, before the took ujyieartit. b'ZO
ii day can bo i leared In lair territory, Write at
unco lor Circular and lntomtntlon, NEW
WORI I Pllll L1SH1NG CO., Cor. 7th and Mir
ItetStreets.I't illadelphla, fuel. (1,'71-ly.)
J J. A I IUlVi IVSl
!Ji would utiuoiincetotheclt7cusof Blooms-
r mr nn,,iiiv
bun
urn and vlrC.iiiiv. tliat he lia lust rccclvtda full
aud coinplet e, assortment ot
WALL PAPER, WINDOW SHADES,
l XTUUGS, COCns, TAbJEtS,
and nil othar goods In his lino of business. All
tho tiewe-Bt, und most upiuuved patleius of tho
day are ulw ays to b fjuud luhtsestubllslimOut,
mur,?.'CV-U lalnut. boloiy Market,
JUSTICE'S BLANKS.
We noui havo on hand a larro neatly printed
ntHortiiiwnl of J USTlCL'rt and IXINsrAHLlH
BLANKS, to which wo luvllo the utleulluu of
thcsoolIV na,
Poetical.
Sorrotr.
Upon my Hps sho laid her touch divine,
And merry speech and careless laughter dlcdi
Sho fixed her melancholy eyes on mine,
And would not he denied.
I saw tho west wind looso Its cloudlets white,
In UockB careering through tho April sky
I could not sing, though Joy was at Its height,
For sho stood silent by.
I watched tho lovely evening fai'o away
A mist was lightly drawn ncross tho slat s,
Bho broke my quiet dream I hcarj her say,
"lichold your prison bars."
"Earth's gladness shall not satisfy your soul,
This beauty ol the earth In which you live)
Tho crowning grsco that sanctified tho whole,
That I alone can give."
I heard, and shrank away from her nfrnld;
But still sho held me, nnd wonld still abide.
Youth's hounding ruWos slackened and obeyed,
With slowly ebbing tide.
"Leiok thou beyond tho evening alar," sho said,
"Beyond tho changing splendors ol tho day, ,
Accept tho pain, Iho weariness, tho dread,
Accept, and bid mo stay.
I tnmcd and clasped her c!o-o with sudden
strength,
And slowly, sweotly, I beenmoaware,
Within my arm God's nngel stood at length,
Whlte-robcd, nnd calm and fair.
And uow I look beyond the cvenlns star,
Beyond tho cha"glng splendors of tho day,
Knowing tho pain Ho sends moro precious fr,
Moro beautiful than they.
Miscellaneous.
Tin: jar or so.u.
My doctor ndviscd horso excrciso;
us I havo tlio greatest respect for medi
cal opinion;) which coincide! with my
own tnslcs, I entered a livery Hlnblo tho
moirniiip; nfter my arrival at tho water
ing plaeo to which ho had likewise re
commended me. Tho sprticest of pro
prietor caiuo forward to recolvo my
order it clean-sliuved man, with mut
ton-chop wiilslrcM, a sllir uhlrt collar, a
blue stock studded with whito spots
nnd f.wtenod by a horsioshoj pin, a
glossy cutaway coat, brass buttoned,
massive wutch-Kiiard, trousers fitting
liko drawers, elran doRskin gloves
well to do md horsey nil over.
"Tako your choice, sir," bo sjid,
leading tho way to the stables. "Wo
havo several in. Now, if you liko an
animal that you can feel with tho bit,
I recommend this grey. Oh, he's u
willing one, ho is docs not want tho
whip, ho don't."
"I stipposo you mean that ho lias a
mouth of iron, and a jawlikoa vice, and
will pull my arms out of their sockets.
No, thank you."
"Well, there's tho chestnut maro
sho is a real clover ono. Touch liar
with your right heel, and sho will go
sideways all along tho cllfT."
"Much obliged" saidl; "but it is a
horso I want, not n crab."
"Exactly, sir; but, you see, there aro
gents who liko n horso who will do tht
it makes tho nursery girls and such
liko stand and stare, and think what
flno riders they aro. This bay will suit
you best, I see. When shall I sotul him
round."
,"At two o'clock, to 12 Ocean Ter
r.icf." "Ho shall bo there. Much obliged
to you for your custom, Mr. Penyolin."
"Ha !" cried I, stopping and looking
in his faco when he mentioned my
name. "Why, surely, It is not Joe?'
"Yp, sir, tho very samo; formerly
gronm in Graves' livery stables, at Cana-
briilce. I hope I seo you well, sir."
"Thnnk you. I am glad to see you
havo risen in tho world sincothoold
days. Ilavoyou been hero long?"
"About flvo years, sir. And very
nicely I am doing."
"Somo ono left you a little capital, I
presume."
"No, sir; just tho contrary. I owo
my riso In life to being robbed of all I
possessed."
"Ha?" cried I, smelling a magazine
article, "that sounds euriou3 how was
it'."'
"Well, sir, it it along stoty, and J
havo somo business to attend to Just
now."
However, I got Mr. Joseph Snafllo to
ray lodging next ovening, and heard
tho following account:
Six years ago, como Michaelmas tldo,
Mr. Graves died, and his establishment
wa3Sold; whereby I found myself, for
the mcmer.t, without a place. So, as I
had n cousin in Millmau's training sta
bler, at Newmarket, with whom I had
always been on tho best of terms, I
thought I would look lilin up and seo
if ho could get mo suited, for they havo
plenty to do in thoo largo racing sta
bles, and thero nro constant vacancies.
Tho worst of it WR3, 1 could not pull
myself down to rido less than ten stono ;
but still thoro was no hnrin in trylug
whether thoy would take mo in somo
capacity,or recommend mo, porhap", to
some oftho gentlemen who had horses
there. So I shouldered my bundle, and
started oil' along tho Nowmarkct road,
with two sovereigns an(I fifteen shill
ings in silver In my breeches pocket,
nnd not another rap In tho world.
As I went throuph Barnwell, n man
joined mo who said ho was going to
Newmarket too, and proposed that wo
should walk together; and, as I was al
ways of a sociable turn, I niado no ob
jection. Ho proved to bo an ngreeeablo
companion enough ; know tho good nnd
bad points of a horse, nnd seemed to bo
a benstblo sort of ft fellow at tho very
flr-t. And nfter n bit, when wo grew
more familiar, lio Bold ho was n tout ;
and told mo many stories of tho tricks
ho hud beonui) totoget information. Of
course, thou, it was only natural that
should olfor him half n pint of beer
when wo camo to tv public houso on tho
road. IIo accepted It, and went In. One
halfplnt drew another, ntitl that tt third.
as beer will bomotlmes, wnen it isgootij
not that I am fond of drink as n rulo
ask tho missis--but thero nro times
when it man Is not o,ulto himself; nnd
leavliigaplauowlierol had beonngood
Ish number of ye. us, to 11ml myself sud
denly nil uncortai n what to do noxt, to-
gother with teing' my own master and
not having any work to attend to, all
gnvo a sort of out -for-ii-holhlny feeling
and I did not caio If I hndnspreo for
once. So when we left that public, 1
wus ilustcred and that is thu truth of It
Now, tho worst of taking tt drop too
much, nnd what principally makes mo
dread it, Is that ono wants to go on and
havo moroatill ; and when wo had walk
ed somo four or flvo miles further, that
thirst camo on strong.
"Isn't thero another house near here?"
I asked.
"Como to mine," replied my com
panion. "I havo got it quiet llttlo pub
lic of my own a llttlo wny off to tho
right, uot much further on; nnd I
should hnvo to leavo you when wo
camo to tho turning. But why not
sleep nt my plnco? It will bo dark bo
foro you got Into Newmarket. I'll war
rant, you will bo Just ns comfortable as
In any houso in tho town. I'll glvo you
tho best of liquor and u pood bed, and
you can walk Into Nowmarkct, which
is not nbovo four miles over tho Heath,
tho first thlng,ln tho morning."
Wo must havo been hours In that
wnysldo Inn, for whnt ho said about
night coming on was trtio enough; it
was getting dusk already. So X ilibbght
tho best thing was to do as ho said;
nnd, instead of parting at tho cross
roads, I turned tip with him, and half
an hour's walk brought us to his houso
It did not seem much of n place, nnd
tho situation was very lonely.
"You don'tdo a thundering business,
male, I e Jpect ?" said I.
"No," ho replied, "and I don't want
to. I havo my regular customers, nnd
goinforscugncss."
"Oh, I see, horso watchers and that."
"That's it; nnd f havo had a lighting
man in training hero boforo now
twig'."'
"Aye, you aro not over-nnxtous to at
tract tho notico of police, oh?"
"That's about It," ho replied.
Tho only person In tho ground-floor
room of tho cottage, for it was nothing
more, was a slattern, who at onco drew
us n potof beer ; but, after n bit, steps
were heard on tho rlcketty staircase.and
then n couple of men, who wcro yawn
ing nnd stretching, made their appear
ance. It was not n taking ono in either
caso; but I did not think much of that
nt first, for no man looks his best when
ho has been sleeping with his clothes
ou, aud rouses out with novern touch of
damp towel or comb. However, when
another camo In nt the door, with short
cropped hair, broken nose, bull-terrier
jaw, but without that' good-tempered
look which a pugilist ofton has, Tbegati
to suspect that I had got into bad com
pany ; for tho beer I had drunk did not
prevent my noticing and reflecting,
through it mado ray head heavy nnd
ray throat husky. If I had been ngontlo.
man, with a gold watch and a pocket
full of money, I should probably havo
taken alarm, in.ido somo excuso to go
outside, and given them tho slip ; but
ns it was not likely that thoy would
harm n poor stableman out of employ
ment, I did not much mind being In
Uitlr socloty ono evening, whatover
thoy might be, nnd joined tho general
talk in a friendly, unsuspecting manner.
Tito slattern fried some eggs and ba
con, and v all had supper together;
after which tho landlord brought n stono
jar of gin out of a cupboard for I ex
pect ho had no special license; nnd
when I hnd put a glass or so of grog on
tho top of tho beer, I forgot tho bad im
pression my companions had at first
made upon me, and voted tho landlord
who bang songs as well ns ho told
stories ono of the best fellows alive.
After awhilo a discussion arose I
havo no notion what about in tho first
Instance; but somehow or nuother I
fancied that my ability to pay for my
sharo of the liquor was called into ques
tion ; and to prove it I Bhoweel ray two
sovereigns and fellvcr; directly after
which I remembered my suspicions,
and called myself a fool not out loud,
ofcour60, but Inwardly.
"Now," said I to myself, "if thoy aro
tho men I tako them for, they will pro
pososomogamo presently; for they will
not bo easy till they liavo pouched tho
two bits of gold I was ass enough to
show them."
Well, sure enough, after a little tall:
about something quite different, ono of
them pulled out a pack of cards, and pro
noted thit wo should play. But I was
not to bo caught that way. Affected
protty considerably ns I was by tho
liquor I had swallowed, I pretended to
bo still moro so, and sworo thickly that
It was toy early to begin to play cards
we must havo another song; and so be
gan singing myself nt tho top of my
voice. After which I fell forward on
tho lablo with myf.icoou my arms; and
when they roused mo up I declared I
felt 111, and would go to bed. I stuck to
that resolution, say what thoy might;
got n candlo end from tho slattern, ami
went up stairs, stumbling a good deal
moro than I need havo done.
Mv bed-room had not n tempting look
to nay ouo who was squeamish, being
neither clean nor tidy; and tho trunklo
bed hnd not been mado sltico somo ono
hud Iain down upon It, eo that tho patch
work countcrpano was nil ttimdled and
created. However, I was not sober
enough to bo particular. Tho walls of
tho rooms seemed spinning round in n
most uucomfortablo manner, and half n
dozen water mills appeared to bo nt
work Insldo my head; so I undressed nnd
turned In ns fast ns I could, nnd present.
Iv went off sound.
now long l siopi i (to not Know, nor
yet why I woko up as I did with a
splitting headache, indeed, but qulto so
ber. At first 1 did not know where i
was ; but gradually tho evontB of tho day
camo Imck to my moinoryi nnd-I won
(Urol how I could havo iuailo such a fool
of niyseJfas. to got .drinking with asot
of vagabonds know nothyig of except
irotn tneir owirsnowing, anil iiini inn
not miiko.thoui put Over respcctablo,
listened to hear whol her, they worostlll
keeping it up; but all was qulto still
and then I prepared to turn out, for It
was so light that ull tho objects in tho
room could bo easily distinguished, But
it proved to bo moonlight aud not day
break. So, nfter taking u pull at tho
wntcr-Jtig for my mouth and throat
wcro liko a llmo-klln I got Into bed
again, und hcttlod myself for nuother
nun.
Just us I was dropping off, however,
I heard tho door niovo: nnd, opening
my oyes, snw tho flguro'of n man como
stealthily Into tho room, Tho thought
immediately occurred to mo that lio was
ntler thoso two sovereigns I hnd bo stu
pidly displayed ; nnd that, If I Jumped
up nnd nsked whnt ho wanted, I might
very likely get tho worst of It. Sol lay
qulto still, watching him out.of tho cor
ner of ono oyo; nud when hostopptd to
listen, I snored. That rjassurrcil him ;
nnd ho crept up to tho bod, tool: my
trouscrs.whichlny on the foot of It, nnd
feltlnthopockots. I lienrd my poor.two
bilsof gold chink ni ho took them out,
and nearly groaned.
"Novcr mind," said I to my5oir,"ril
hnvo the pollco down upon this houso
to-morrow, ns sure ns eggs Is eggi ; so
you may inakooffqtiictly now my man.'1
To my surprise, however, Instead of
going out nt once, now ho bad got what
ho wanted, tho owner oftho house for;
I had recognized him went toward tho
washstand nnd put his hand up to a
small whltojitr which stood on it shell1
Just nbovo it. Then ho stolo softly out
oftho romn, und closed thodoorbehlnd
him.
I lay quiet tor a ninttorof halfnn hour
or moro, nnd then searched my trou.
sers. Tho sovereigns wcro gone, sttro
enough ; but tho silver was loft. Thero
was uot much, Indeed; for I had paid
my scoro over night, nnd had stood treat
nt tho waysldo public houso besides.
Next I went to havo n look at tho jar on
tho shelf, nnd found that it was full of
soft soap. Evidently, my host was not
so boldtv roguons J had thought for;
and if I hnd shown myself to bo awako
he would probably havo mado an ex
cuse, and let mo go off with my money,
slnco lio was so careful to provldo
against my suspicions. For I supposo
his idea was this: If I took tho mat
ter pretty easy, content to bclievo
that I had lost my money somehow1,
and that ho know nothing about it,
well and good. If I mado moro fuss, ho
would invito mo to havo n search, nnd
defy mo to find any gold in tho house
lor ho had owned to being very low in
tho poekot Just then ; but if I proved
outrageous, and threatened tho law, he
would havo conveniently discovered
tho soveroigns in tho Jar of soft sojp,
and .declnred I must have put them
thero for security over night, and had
been too drndk to remember anything
about it in tho morning.
That was tho way I iuterprotod tho
matter. Sol determined just' to tako
my money back, walk off.and say noth
ing about It; not being particularly
nnxlous to havo to stand in n witness-
box, and own that I had been in such
bad coinpaay for thnt would not havo
helped mo ton good situation, would it?
It wn3 now fast getting broad day ;
so I washed nnd dressed myself, nnd
beforo I had done, I heard pcoplo stir
ring in tho house. Thou I took tho Jir,
and tried to fish my sovereigns out ; but
they wero stuck far down in tho nasty
stuff; and as steps camo towards my
door boforo I had got them, I wrapped
tho whole thing up in my handkerchief,
and stuck it In my pocket. Then I wont
down stairs; bado the slattern, who was
tho only person I saw, good morning,
and left tho houso; and precious glad I
was to get nwny from it.
After walkiug about three mlle3 ns
hard as 1 could put foot to ground, I
came to tho nlaco for turning off tho
bye-road I was in on tho Heath ; and
closo by thero wasabltof a pond, which,
it occurred to me, was handy for cleans
ing my sovereigns. So I out with tho
llttlo jar, nnd, squatting down at tho
eilgo oftho water, I proceeded carefully
to wash it. I got hold of ono sovereign
quickly enough, cleansed It, and put it
in my pocket; but tho second had been
pushed deeper down, nnd,whilo Ashing
about with my flngcr.Ieamo upon somo
other hard substance, which proved,
when oxtracted and washed, to bo n di
amond ring; nnd a rare,large,sparkling
diamond it was too. After that I need
uot tell you that I searched tho J ir thor
oughly, rubbing overy bit of tho stiiffiil
it carefully between my hands; and, be
sides my other sovereigu, I found a
pretty, bright colored stouo, which I
learned afterwards was a valuable sap
phire; and that was all.
Then I went on ; and b -fore I had got
far I met n string of homes out for ex
ercise, and aecompanyi.tg them ou a
pony was my cousin, who expressed
himself glad to see mo,i nd asked mo to
go homo and havo a bit of breakf tst
with him, which I did; and during tho
meal I told him what I wanted, aud ho
said that ho feared I could not bo em
ployed In their stables, jmt then, but
that ho would mako inquiries, and do
his best for me. After that I Informed
him of what hnd happened tho night bo
fore, and showed him tho jewels.
'By tho lord Harry!" cried he, qulto
excited, "I should not wonder If this
was part of the groat Bedford robbery!
"What Is that? ' I asked.
UTTitvn rn nrf ennn tf In Mrt IlmrVw9,,
AAtVU jjuit Wk u-v,ll v w jm's J
ho replied, "Lord Gllttcrbrlght's houso
was broken into last month, nnd her
ladyship's Jowol-box stolen. Wo will
go and show these' things to tho Inspec
tor, who Is a friend of mine, presently:
for If I am rlght,it may ben good Job for
you, Joe. Look hero !"
And ho fetched a nowspnpor, and
showed mo nn ndvortlsomont of a huu
dred pounds reward for any ono giving
nforiuation as should lead to tho ap
prchopjjlQii oftho thloves.
It has nothing to do with my ring,1
said I, "J havo no such luck.'1
"Most likely you nro right," replied
my coiislnj "but thcro'a no harm lu try
iug."
So wo wont to tho Inspector,who had
a, printed, detail of all tho articles stolon
nnd tl(9 rjug secmod to unswer to ono of
them. So I v cut that very afternoon
n company with n detective to Bedford
and saw Lay G(ltterbright,who blent
Hied both tho ring and tlio looso sap
phlro.whlch it scorned had formed' part
of tho necklace. Then, certainly, thy
heart gavoajumpj but It was a good
step yot to finding out who actually did
tho burglary, nnd touching thorownrd
My keeper of tho pot-houso was taken
up and his promises searched, but not li
Ing moro was fouud. However, when
ho was likely to bo tried for tho burglary
himself, ho put tho pollco on tho track
of tho men who had rcAlly dono it, in
sclf'dcfenco ; fur it turned out that his
part had been confined to concealing tho
real culprits find providing them wlthi
disguises; and for Hint lib hnd received
tho ring und sapphlro, which ho had'
concealed In that soft-soap, na tho least
tlkeiy place! to bo examined In cage of a
search. From his Information tho bur
glars wero tracked and caught, nnd tho
most vnlunb'o Jewels all recovered.
Well.tu tho pollco seemed todoovery
thlilg, tho notvspapcrs gnvo them nil tho
credit, I feared that I should bo over
looked altogether. But, no ; I got tho
full hundred pounds.and a present from
my lady besides which, I must fay,
was handsome. And when I got this
large pum of money as it was to mo
then I began to think thnt, Instead of
remaining man nlll my llfo.I should liko
to bo master; and as I wns well quali
fied to manago n livery stablo, having
tlono everything for old Graves dur
Ing tho last few years of hi3 Hfo
I looked nbout for an opening, nnd,
through n friend of my cousin's, heard
of this plnco. Of course, I could not
start In business to do any good with n
hundred pounds; but n sporting lawyer
In Cambridge, who had known mo
many years.nnd bellovcd in my success,
lent mo what was needful at a friendly
flvo per cent. Well, sir, I waa protty
lucky I may say, very lucky for I
began In a small wny ; and, at tho end
bf acouploof years, 1 wa9so well estab
lished that a farmer gaVO mo his daugh
ter, nnd Uvo hundred pounds down
with her; and nllowcd tho money to bo
put into tho business, too. I paid off
tho last of tho loan to tho lawyer six
months ogo,nnd at tho present moment
I don't owo nny man n penny of coureo
barring tho current account with my
corn merchant.
An Astonished Conductor.
"Get aboard old llmpy," said n port
conductor to on aged, plalnly-drcsfcd
Iamo man, standing on tho platform,
,tltlnr- fill- Iho tdr-tml in itnnoi-t' den!
. M .
abord, old llmpy or you'll get left."
At tnosignai ino oiti gcnticmnn quiet
ly stepped nboard and look n soat by
hirasolf. When tho conductor in taking
up tho tickets camo to hini and demand
ed his fare, ho replied:
"I do not pay faro on this road."
"Then I will put you off at tho next
station."
Tho conductor passad on, and a passen
ger who hnd seen tho transaction, said
to him:
"Did you know that old gentleman?"
"No, I did not."
"Well, It Is Mr. tho President of
this road."
Tho conductor changed color and bit
his lips, hut went on nnd finished tak
ing up tickets. As soon as ho had
dono ho returned to "old llmpy" and
said:
"Sir, I resign my station as conduc
tor."
"Sit down here, young man. I do
not wish to harm you; but wo run this
road for profit and to accommodate tho
public, nnd wo mako it nn invariablo
rulo to treat overy person with perfect
civility, whatever garb ho wears, or
whatover infirmity ho suffers. This
rulo isimporativoupon overy ono ofour
employees. I shall not rcraovo you for
what you havo done, but it must not bo
repeated."
That conductor no-er afterwards saw
among his passengors anothor "old
llmpy."
How A Dunce Ilecamc A Statesman.
Tho following story is told oftho lato
Dr. Salem Towno and Wm. L. Marcy :
In his youth ho (Dr. Towno) was a
teacher of youth. Ono day, soventy
odd years ago, a boy was brought to
him, of whom tho account given was
that he was an incorrlgiblo dunco, thnt
nono of his masters had been able to
mako nny thing of liim; and he wns
rought to Mr. Towno ns a last experi
ment, beforo apprenticing him to a me
chanical trado. Tho next morning Mr.
Towno proceeded to exaralno him, pre
paratory to catering upon his instruc
tion. At tho first mistake lio dodged
on one side, with every sign of torror.
'Why do you do that ?" nsked tho ma3-
ter. "Because I waa afraid you wore
going to strlko mo." "Why should
you think so?" "Becauso I havo ni
ways been struck whenever I mado a
mistake." "Witt need never fear being
struck by me," said Mr. Towno. "That
i3 not my way of treating boys who do
as well as thoy can." Tho lad ory
soon improved rapidly undor this new
treatment, so that Towno ndvisod his
father to glvo him a liberal education
Tho father could hardly boliovo tho
report nt first; but was convinced, and
complied with tho good master's sug
gestion. Tho result was that William
L, Mnrcy becamo an eminent lawyer,
ono of tho supromo Judges of Now York
State, governor, United States senator,
and Sccaotary ot War nnd of State.
The Qrateful Client. A New
York lawyer, who procured tho acquit
tal of a man who was under arrest lor
as.sault nnd battory, was waited upon
tho next day by his client and most
gratofully thanked for his services
"What can I do for you?" asked ho
nllntlf.. " rCntlllno1 " rnnlln1 41, n. iiiirirnr
111111'r vnii i-nnr nn nil pn" , nniTii
. - ...-- ........... u.....u .
any number of votes." "I havo no po-
llttcal aspirations," roplled tho lawyer,
But ain't thero somo man you want to
hnvo licked." rplnlnnel tho client. Tho
poor lawyer has not yet recovered from"
this powerful exhibition ofgratltudo.
Blarney'. "Ah, Jemmy, Jemmy,"
said tho Bishop of Derry to a drunken
blacksmith, "I'm sorry td seo you be
ginning your evil courso ngaln: and,
Jemmy, I am very nnxlous to know
what you intend to do with that flno
lad, your' son'?" "l Intend sir," said
Jouiniy, "to do for him what you c&n
not do for your son." "Eh.eltr How's
that how's that ?" To which Jemmy,
with a burst of genuine feeling, said, "I
intend to mako him a better man than
Ids father I"
A i.tttle- boy, after watching tho
burning of tho school houso until tho
novelty oftho thliighad Ceased, started
down tho street, saying, "I'm glad tho
old thing Is burned down ; I didn't
havoniy jogfry lcsscm, nowhow."
Humorous.
Gravity Is no moro ovldenco of wis
dom than n paper collar Is of a shirt.
A Wisconsin editor speaks of a wind
which sat on Its hind legs and howlod.
"Well, sir, whoa I first camo to this
country tlmt mountain was a holo In
tho ground."
It is qulto tho fashion in Iowa, now,
to dig a well and discovertho finest vein
of coal In tho Htalo.
A Cincinnati editor discovered after a
roccnt skirmish that his antagonist had
lunched off his car during tho affray.
An Indinnapolis paper has this singu
lar announcement: "Mr. G. Loo, of
tho Commercial, has gono South for his
wifo's health."
A Western liberal Hcnubllcan nnner
says thero la no amendment to tho Con
stitution providing for tho ro election
of General Grant.
Tiio Now York Mall sta'os as ono of
" tho advantages of being intoxicated,"
tho ability tojump from railroad trains
without being killed.
:V forelcrn wrllor. cnmnlnlnlnc of llm
difficulties In tho pronunciation of tho
English language, cites tho word Boz,
which ho says Is pronounced Dickens.
Wendell PhllllnsSava. "Putnn Amsr.
lean baby, six months old. on his feet.
and ho will Immediately say, 'Mr.
Chulrman,' and call tho noxt cradlo to
order.''
A man in Windham countv. Conn..
is said to bo working up a suv-log thir
ty feet long Into a life for Glltnoro'sju
bileo. It will bo blown by nltro-glyno-rlno.
Sncaklnir of a certain friend's cholco
of a wlfo, a candid clergyman remark
ed : "I should ns soon thing of marry
ing tho daughter of Beelzebub, and go
ing noma to uvo witn ino oiu ioiks."
A. weddlntr took nlaco nt La Crossoa
day or to two ago ut which, according
to tho Democrat, "tho lirido was given
away by tho city, and tho city was
mighty glad to got rid of her."
A young legal lady in Ohio applied
for n commission as notary public, but
tho Governor responded that not ary
u
jy
iiioiic lunction oi too sort count lawiut-
bo performed by a female.
Arkansasjournalism is peculiar. Tho
Fort Smith Patriot nails Its colors to
tho mast in this way: " For President
of tho United States, U. S. Grant. For
Governor of Arkansas, not Jo Brooks
by a sight.
Sucking eggs for tho championship is
tho way in which tho rivalry of man
hood develops In Tennessee. Tho best
scoro thus far is thirty at a sitting, nnd
tho winner thinks of opening a school
for grandmothers.
A Charloston paper says that an old
colored lady of South Chrolina, wearing
a red turban, was shot at by mistake
for a robin, by Mr. Pincknoy. Sho
thereupon accosted him with a brick,
nnd gavo him a pink eye.
A country minister complained to old
Dr. Routh that ho received only five
pounds for preaching a certain sermon
at Oxford. "Fivo pounds 1" said tho
doctor; "why, I wouldn't havo preach-
eu mat sermon lor uity pounds."
Mr. Collins, of Hartford, bought &
ferocious watch dog. Mr. Collins camo
homo lato that night. His wlfo says his
trowsers can't do mermen, tbo doc's
skin is for salo cheap. Mr. Collins hopes
to do auio to sit uown in a low weens.
A Salisbury (Conm) man recently
hitched a yoko of oxen to a horso that
laid uacK in tho breechinc." Tlio
horso's head was not put ou firmly
enough to test tho question whether ho
or tho oxen wcro tho strongest.
A Colorado man chased by wolvc3.
was saved by his nlusr hat which blow
offRnd fell iu front of tho ferocious ani-
mals; they had never seen ono before,
and while they held a meeting to in
quire into its nature, ho reached a placo
of safety.
A Now Hampshire man committed
suichlo last wcek,nt theago of threecoro
and ten, ir tno reason mat no could
not reform ins dissipated nanus, and
felt suro that they would blast his ca
reer in Hfo should they, become Tooted
by many more years' indulgence.
A California Judgo recently had a
grocer brought beforo him for selling
matencs witnout starans. 10 dec (led
that tho grocer had not violated the law
which forbids "exposing for salo" un
stamped packages, becauso tho matches
in question wero sold from under tho
counter.
Tho llttlo busy barkecoer in Boston
eludes tho shining law byputtlng two
uarreis 01 wiuskcv into a molasses nun-
cheon and filling up tho puncheon with
molasses. when a customer calls lio
pumps whisky out through tho bung
hole; when a Constablo calls, ho runs
moiitsses ou tiiiougn tne laucet.
A revival Is In progress in Marshall
county, Mo. A young lady who had
boon leading a somewhat Irregular Hfo.
suddenly becamo open to conviction
ami was convened, wnen tno minis
ter had submorced her. and camo out
of tho water, ho asked how sho felt
in ncr mind, bho replied: "All hunkv.
only a llttlo wet."
A noto from a gentleman who was
"snowed up" last weekin Maine, statis
that during tho last storm so much
snow was blown through tho key-holo
01 tno outsido door or tlio houso whero
ho was stopping that it took two men
two days to shovel it out. And that
wasn't tno hardest storm or tho month
by any means.
A traveler stopped nt au inn to break
fast, and having drunk a cup of whnt
wns given to him, tho servant asked:
"What will you take, sir; teaorcoffoe-V"
"That depends upon circumstances,"
was tho reply. "If what you gavo mo
last was tea, I want coffee; If it wits cof-
fee, I want tea,
1 wouiu prefer to havo
Innhnncn."
, . . m m .
1 a vountr lativ ni i:imira niarrini h
man by tho name of Dust, against tho
wishes of her parents. After a short
1 mo nuy uyc-u umimijuiy iokuiult, unu
? "u ituiuu 10 uor minor a luusujuut
tho stubborn Elmirnti refused to seo tier,
saying. " Dust thou nrt nnd unto Dust
thou snait return.'' Aim sno got up
and " dusted."
Atorekcener nt Qulncy, Mich., hav
ing n pup that habitually upset tho
imlnt cans 111 tho rear end or tho storo.
rubbed tho dog's noso In tho spilled
paint as a reminder nun no must not
do 60 again. Last week tho animal
again spilled tho paint, and, observing
mat 111s master was engaged in waiting
on a customer, tho doclio pup rubbed
his own noso In tho mixture and ran
howling out tlio back way.
A funny 6tory Is told of ono Meek.
nn Oregon pioneer, a great huuter and
a man 01 mucn luuuenco in mat biato.
Ono day in conversation with an Eng.
Hah trnvclor John Bull Anally said:
"Why. sir. you must havo lived hero
n very long thno."
to this JNiecK repneu:
"I havo, sir: you mny woll soy thnt."
Pointing to Mount Ilootl, ho usked,
'Do you seo that mouutuln?"
"Yes."