r
iJlte GfolumMim
AND
rsPUnLI81tKl KVEIIY FltttlAY MOIIN1NO
18 TI1K OOI.UM11IAN Btni.tltMl NEAltTUK
fouuTltousit, jiLoomiiunn, rA nv
CHARLES B. BROCKWAY,
tnrron Awn mornm-ron,
jerms-Two Dollars a Year payablo in advaaeo,
JOB PniKTIITQ
Of.illdcscrlptlons executed with iicntuoss nnd
ilispaicn ni reasminme ihicb
Columbia Oountv Official Dirootory,
Associate Judga-XuAU Ditiin, Isaac B. Mon-
Ihvlhonotttn. .tr. KtttioM'it It. IttNeii.FU.
Jt$Mc7Wm nler-WiM.tAMSoN II.JAConv.
Dtitrlrt ,tHonr!-JAMr.H llhYEoN, Jti.
S'irrtT-AAltON BM1TH.
WttW-lAAO DKWITT. '
2rniirn WlI.MAM LAMON.
CfctMWllMlMICM 1 1 Ht'H ItOllllIKS, ltlltAlt J,
llKl IiFlt. WIM.lAJJHIlAriEll.
CWiimOtimiMM' Wert Wll MAM KlttcmtAttM,
AtulltuiV. J. CAMrnm.b, DAK1M. J.EE,
CltAllMHl'INNKH
toroiifP-CilAlcl.PS 0, Mt'l'.PIlV.
,nr); CBinmiMKJKM-lSAAC Mr;lli:ll)E,JollK Mo
ACoiiiV ,wcrinm;n,(-li,AHl.L3 U.Baivki.ey
J, k,i.). J'rur 7.(-rrt,'-Dli triors, H. II. Mit.t.r.n
Vril.i.lAM KltAMH!, hlocmsburg, nnil JoilNSoll
Ii.i i.nt, (iiceiiwcoel, tliAHLtsCosiNMi.Hco'y.
Blooiusburg Official Directory,
Jltimulvrn 7,'ntV. nn Co. John A. PL'KSTOIt
PrcKiitint, H. H. Gnoiz, Cnshler. .. ,,
ii-( Xattonnt V.'nn.-CllAS. It. l'AXTOJf.Prcs't ,
J. 1". Ti'sTiJ.-. Caviller. ...
CXilvu.t.tat itintli MHtualSavhia I'lmtlnml JJinnAI'
toctatlon-K. 11. Little, l'res't., C. W. Mim.kii.
Ylloimrbvrn IhtihUntt and timing Fund Assnw
tion WM. Pi:a ock, Pios't., J, 11. ItontPON, Bee.
JIUnmiuvrii Mutual Farina Ivnd Association
J.J. lutowi.li, Pieslelent, C. 0.1UUK1.KY, Kco'y,
Bloomcburg Directory.
l)Ac
1 It 11AOH lust rccelviel nnd for sale at tlio
CoLt'MiilAN Olllre.
OLOT illNO, AC.' "
DAVIl) LOWENBEIIG, MerchautTaltor.Mniu
bt. , above American House,
w
M. MOllUIH, Merchant Tailor comer of Cen
tre tuia uain si., over Aimer a bioiu.
DRUGS, CHEMICALS. etc.
El'. LUT, DrugglstandApotbecary.Malnst.
, below tho Post Olllce.
CLOCKS, WATCHES, AC.
CI i:.MAVA(li:, dealer In Cloclin, Watches nud
). Jewelry, Miifn St., Just helow the Amerkuu
House.
I ol'lrt IlIlltNHAnD, Wnlch and Clock maker
II near southeast col nor Mnlnniid lion BtH.
R
CATIICAItT, Walch and Clock linker, Mar
ket street, below Main,
BOOTS AND SHOES.
If SI. KNOHIt, Dealer In Hoots nnd Shoes, laleM
'j, nud bin styli's, cniiier JIalu uiid Jlaiket
Mlicits, In tlio old I'o.stOHIce.
i.VVIt) 1IKTZ, Hoot nud Hhneinnher, Slain bt.
iJ below llartman'sBloro.wcst ol Market.
HUNltY KI.l'.lSI, Slnnuracturer nnd dealer In
HooIh and Shoes, Urucerles, ttc, Main htreet,
luist llloomsbuitf.
1UIOFESSIONAL
1)
It. II. O. liowr.lt, Burgeon Dentist, Jlnln St.,
noovo tho uouri House,
D
it. W.M. M Itr.IlDlt. Hureeon nud l'hvclc an.
OHlco over tlio l lisi niiuinial iiauK.
CO. llARKLUV, Atlorney-at-I,aw. OOlcc.Sd
, iloorlu fc.xchuuge Uluck, near the "Kxchauge
1 otel.
11. McKi:i,VY,SI. D.,RurBeon nnd 1'hjslclan
. noitubiuu laiu si,, ueiow iuuruei.
T (I. HUTTKK, M. 1). Silicon an 1 riiyslcian
rl . .Mantel street, auovo .laiu.
1 1!. I101HHON, Atlorney-nt-I,aw, OUlcolIart
tj man's building, Main bticet.
nit. 11
KINNKY, Kurgenn Heutlst. Teeth
Ij extracted without pain;
iviaiu St., ucariy oi)-
oslto Episcopal Chuich,
T It. i;'ANH. M. D,
Kurceon and l'hvslclan.
il solltli sldoJl
n fctieei. ueiow isiantei.
Dlt. A. U I'll UN Ell, I'hys'clan and Surgenn, or
llcu over IClelm's Diui: btoro, luhldmco one
door below Itev. D. J.'Wulltr.
MILLINERY & FANCY GOODS.
BPKTKIIMAN, Millinery and Knney Ooods,
, opposite Episcopal Chuich, Main bt,
IBS LIZZIE HAltKLEY,
Sllll'ncr, ltamsey
butlulnt; Main btiett.
M
1KB M. DEltlllCKBON, Millinery and Paucy
Uoods, Maihbt,, ueiow .Market.
M118. JULIA A. & BADE liAI'.KLEY, Ladle8
Cloaks nnd Dress Pattcruj, southeast corner
Main and West bts,
fliHL MIBBEB 1IAHMAN Mllllucry nnd Fancy
1 tloods, Main bt., below American House,
HOTELS AND SALOONS.
1,1011KB HOTEL, by T.
i' of Main sticet.
llcut. Taylor, east end
MERCHANTS AND GROCEHS.
(1 C. MAHH, Dry Ooods nud Notions, south
U west corner Main and Iron Ms.
IiOX A WE11U, Confectionery nnd Itakery,
1 wholesalo and retail, Exchango lilock.
C. HOWEIl, lints nnd Caps, Hoots audShoes,
Main sl above Court House.
H. MAIZE, Mammoth Orocery,
eerie, Fruits, Nuts, Provision,
rlno Oro
&c, Mnln
nnd Centre Blieets,
MMCP.r.VY, NEAL& CO., dealers In Dry Ooods,
Oi ocerics, Flour, Feed, Halt, Fish, Iron, Nails,
clc.N. E. cor. Main anil Mnlkot its.
11. MILLEIl & SON, dealers In Dry Goods,
, Groceries, Queeusvuire, Flour, Bait, Bhoes,
motions, etc, Main bt.
MISCELLANEOUS.
n SI. CIIUIBTilAN, Baddle, Trunk Harness-
mnker, Blilvo's lilock Main Btreet.
D
Y. ItOIlIUNS, liquor dealersecoud door from
northwest comer Slain aud Iron bis.
T.1 J. T1IOHNTON, Wail Paper, Window Shades
Ll. auu nxinres, ituperi uiock. jMnin si.
W. COHELL, Furniture llooms, three story
brick, .Main street, west, oi aiarac-i bt.
l!OBENSTOCK,Photo?rapher, over Kobblnii
.V i;yer s store, 1.1am hi.
H. KFHN, dcnlerln Meat, Tallow, etc., Chene
bet tin's alloy, learol American Houso.
DAMPKL JACOBY, Marble anil Brown Btono
n works, t;ast BioomsunrK.nerwick roau,
WM, I1ABU, dealer In furniture, truuUH, cede!
v uiow are, near tue eorKs iioiei.
ri 11, 11IDLEMAN, Agent for SIuU3on's Copper
W xuuuinr i.igniuir.g kou.
ft I'OSTEIt.Olue Slnker.uud White nudFancy
j. iunner, scotiown.
TVTOTE BOOKB, and blank NOTEB.wlthorwitle
IN out exemption, for balo at tho L'oLl)uuiA
CatawiGsa.
B,
F. DALLMAN, Merchant Tailor, Uecond Bt,
llobblus' Building,
!It. J,
ItOBBINB, Burgeon and Physician
V Second Bt
below Main,
niLBEP.T A KLINE, dry goods, groceries, nnd
u General mercuauiuso, iiuin nirtei
I B, KIBTLEH, "CaltawlBsa House," North
u , lomtr jiuiu
i and Heeond Streets.
) KKILEIl, Billard Baloou, OybteiB, and Ice
U. K leuui ill m;uuii iiiamot.
J M. BH011ST, dealer In OeneralMerchandlsc
ill. Dry Gnoiis. uioceries ac.
rtlTRiiiTi'irANNA or Illicit Hotel. B. lfosteu
ij bauder Pioprletor.south-cnstcoruerSlalnand
necouu sit cel.
TH. 11. ABBOTT, Attorney at law, Slain Bt.
Light Street.
ir p. OMAN & Co., Wheelwrights, first door
above School House.
TOIIN A, OMAN, Manufacturer and dealer tn
u iioois una Duoes
UK, KNT, denier lu Stoves aud Tin Vnre In
nil Its branches,
PLTI.Il I NT, Miller, ami denier In ull kinds ot
Giuln, Hour, Hid, Ac, All kinds ol Grain
purchased,
Espy.
,1 1). WKUKnElBEH.BootaudBkoeHtorotimt
luauitluctoiy. Bhuu on Mulu Btreet op
posite tho Bloom Mill.
'It W. KDGAIt, Kuseiueliunua Planlug Mill
I aud Box Slanufucturlug,
Buck Horn.
G. AW. 11. MHIKMAKKH. dealers In dry
M
yoods, groeelerles nnd general merchatidso
V0LUMEVI.---N0.8.
O range villo Directory.
II. HICIlltlNll & linOTIiril.t'arpcntersnnd
nlldcis, Main st,, below l'lue.
DltlL'If HOTHIi and refreslimenl Knloon, by
D HohrM'lIenry cor.ofMnln and I'lnont,
Dlt. O. A. Mt:aAU(ir.t.,thyslclnnniiit Burgeon
Mnln st,, next door to Uood's Hotel,
DAVID UnitltINO, KlnurnnuOrlstMlll.autl
Dealer in grain, SI111 street.
TAMUH 11, HAKMAN, Cabinet Makor nnd Un.
O dertaker. Main Ht,, below l'lne.
ScnUYI,r,H A CO., Iron founuers.Mncliiiilsts
uud Manufactuters ol plows, Mill tit.
QAMUKI.BllAItl'LIlBf), Maker of thollayhtirst
irnlu Cradle, Main Ht,
WIM.IAM DrXONO Hhoemnkcrntiit manufac
turer or llrick, Mill Bt., west of l'tuo
Philadelphia Directory.
Restaurant and Diniiii Rcoms.
FllANK SMITH, Proinlctor.
I'lin.ADELl'IIIA,
N. It. Tlio location Is eentrnl, the assistants
ntteiilive, and the labks supplied with tho best
the imulu't atrords, iresh ana well cooked, Give
him n call,
T M. KEPHEART,
tP O WITH
BARNES, IJRO. & IIERKON,
HATB, CAI'M, BTItAW O00DB & FUK8,
Ko. m Market Street,
(Abovo rifth,)
rmtADELPittA, '
"WAINWRIGHT & CO.,
WlIOLUSALi: GROCKRH,
If. V., Comer Btcond nnd Arch Streets,
I'll II.A DELIMIT A,
Dealers In
THAU, BYltUPS, COFFKK, BUOAlt, MOLABHKJ3
kice, Bricra, in cAitn soda, ,tc, &v.
-Ordcrs will rcclvo prompt intention.
may 10,G7-lf.
Business Cards.
H
BROCKWAY,
ATTOUNKY AT LAW,
HLOOMIinURO, l'A.
ITS- Omen Court llouto Alley, In tho Cc
i.ViiniAN building. Jant,'07.
n W. MILLER,
' ATTOItNEY AT LAW,
OIllco Court Uonso Alley, below tho Colum
iiiANOnicc, Uoiiuties, l'.nek-l'ny ami Pensions
collected. Illooinsburg Pn. hep.'J)'67
ROBERT P,
CLARK,
ATTOUNKY AT LAW,
Office Main Street below tho Court House,
nioom.shuig Pcuu'a.
g II. LITTLE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Onico rourt-ltouso Alley, below the CoLUM
hian Ofllce, liloomsburg Pu,
0H.
ARLES C. LEIDY,
ATTtmXKY-AT-EiAW,
OPI'ICE ON OAK STltLET, SIOUNT CAltMEI.
KOUTIIUMIIKItl.AND COUNTY, l'A.
Collections nromntlv made. Conveyancing
neatly exceuleil am. nil other business connect
ed Willi ills pot'esslon enielully attended to in
Montour, Northumberland and Columbia conn-
lies. ms.isio.
.VRGAINS BARGAINS.
QUICK BAI.r3 AND SMAT.T. PK0FIT3.
SAVE YOUIl .MONEY.
On to
TIF.NllV YOST.
F.nst JHoomsbum Pa., lor all kinds of the bfbt
homo aud city made
FUKSITUUti,
Prices rcasonnhlo and the be- ""irk done.
Jan l'7i-tf
y ETER I NARY.
AUGUST i iiii:nd,
jiubllc as a eelebrnteil
HORSE AND COW DOCTOR,
and nil other nnlmnls, for which his charges am
mooeiate. no can niwavs no loutui cast sine oi
Herwkk rend, iteaiS.H.Jncohy'u Siarble Y'aid,
iiioonisouig, .May i, isa-iy.
m T fPTTn-nTrrn-M
B J wmild nnnnmirft tn t lin rltl7niK of Uloomfi-
bufj; nnd viclulty, tlmt ho hanjufat rocoived a fall
"WALL 1'ArKH, WINDOW snAD8,
PIXTUr.KS, CORDS, TASSELS,
nnd nil niher troods In his lluo of InislneFS. All
tlio newest and moht approved putterns of tho
uay are aiwoyH 10 uo lomiu in nm esiaunuineuu
raar.a, ou-ii iiain hi. ueiow iuuriiew
M
A G A ZI N ES . DA I Ij Y & WEEKLY
TAl'-KItS OF ALL, KINDS
at iuiz ucok tTOKE opi'CSiTnuii: cour.T HOUSE,
AKn nn nssorlinent of rortemonnnlcs. Viyn
Books And A count Hooks, cc nslnntly on hand,
IIookh n oi on tiami ouiaiuru on t-uuri nuut-e.
.New lUiouB aic consianiiy ueiug auucu xo ine
iiiooms tnm uncniaunti i.iurarv." AnionMne
lfiiti.!.! m "(inllt nnd 1 nnnpf nrt?." "Motlieriess."
Mr iiarry," " not ttpur oi nuinuieinwau," nnu
AtCKiuem," cic. mir fcP, i 11
jEW STOVE AND TIN SHOP.
Mnln (Street ono door auovo U. MemlenhaU'H
Btote.
A largo fiK-sorimuni ai hiovci, iieAiers nnu
llan;;es constantly on hand, and for Kilo ft tho
lowest late,
Tinnlnt! luall Us bmncliencarfifully nttendedto,
inn hausiaciion fuarauieeu.
rm woik oi au izinua wuoiesaie unu reiuu.
lal 1h icquefited,
Jan 171
0
lURLING CREAM.
llv usinir lids nrtielo Indies nnd Ginllemen
can I'ir.ulllv Ihciiisiliis a thousand lold. 'Ihls
Is the only article that will curl straight hair,
mntnlir-. It ntsn I II victim lis. beilUlifleS and
vltmisih. Il cull bo m applied as to enuso tlio
linlrto cml nny length ol lime desired. Bent
by mall lor u us, u pnckagi'. Addiess
Alll.EIt TtiWNBLEY,
Mlddletown, Adams Co., Pa.
bcptl'71-Cm.
1JLOOMSBUBG
X.
3: A It ti 1 12 W O It El S.
main Mitri'T, nnow maiiki;t,
BI.OdSlBBUltO, PA.
Monuments, Tombs, Headstones, Ac, Work
iiiutly eiecuted. Oideis by mall will receive
special atleutlou, N. II. Work dellvelid flieol
charge. J . L. UUNTiiN. I'ropneior,
octl3'71-tf. P. O, Box W.
NEW YOIIIC. C011K. AND LlVEIirOOL.
NEW AM) HJLL.POVF.ltl' 1) STEAMSlIU'3.
'JHEBIX i,Alt m in Jiii. , n u .
nnrivie I 1XTII1. ltEI'UBLIO.
ATLANTIC. BALTIC. ADIilATIC,
o.uotons bunion 3,1 noli. li. eacli.
Hailing fiom New Ymk on HA'1UP.DAK, from
Liverpool on 'lllUHBDAYS, and Cork Hal lor
tlio uuy loiiowing. ,
From the Whllo Star Dock, Pavontn Perry
jvifvy 1.11.
IMssenger occommodatlous (for all classes)
uumaiien, romoiniug
SAFEl Y. Bl'KtD. AND CO.MFOIIT.
Saloons, btate-iooms. smoking-room nud bath
looms In midship section, uheie least motion is
lilt. Buigeoos and itewurdesstb nceuiuiauy
lliese feituiueis,
ltATib Baloou. bf cold. Btceroui". SoOenrien
ey, 'lhoro wishing to send lorlrieiids lie in the
Old Country eon uuw obtalii stierugu piepnld
cprtiilcnles. 1'.l euriencv.
PusseugeiH Ijuuleed to or Irom nil parts of
Aiueucii, iuiib, jikmiuuiku, utnuj, mieueii
inula, AiiMii'"'", i.iii"i iv.
Extuisiou Hi kits giuntedut lowest rates,
in nets fmni 1 uiiivnrds.
For inspection ol pluiisundolberluroiinatlcu
Ppp.y to o. --"7:V,;yAHKH:AKent,
Or (o W. PEAl OCK,
janlltf iilooiukburg, Pn.
BTJPINESS CARDS,
VISITING OAUDrJ,
ETTEH HEADS,
HILL 1II1ADS,
PItOOHAMMKU,
POBTKItB,
43., AC.
Neatly nnd Cheaply TrlntcJ
Ftoui Hie Latest Styles of Tj-pe at Ilia
COLUMBIAN OFFICE,
Miscellaneous.
JQ E N T I B T R Y .
II. I'. JlUWl.lt, 11KNTIBT,
llesnectfully oilers his professional services In
the ladles and gmitlcmon of Bloomsburgnnd VI
clnlty. Ho Is prepared to attend to all the vari
ous operations in the lino of his profession, nud
Is provided with the latest Improved Pohcki.ain
Teeth which will be Inserted on gold plating
silver nnd rubber base to look as well nstlio nai
nrnl teeth. Tectu extracted by nil tho new and
mostnpproved methods, and nil operations on
the teeth c.itcfully and propctly nttended to.
Residence nnd office n few doors aiiovo the
Court House, sarao side.
tnoomsiiurg. .ian,i,7i ly
yULCAN WORKS,
DANVILLE PA.
WILLIASI II. LAW,
Manufacturer of Wrought Iron Bridges, Hollers,
Gasholders, Fireproof llulldlugs, Wiottght lion
Hoollng, llootlnii Frames, Flooring and Doors,
Farm Gates and fencing, also Wroughtiton pip
ing, Stacks nud all kinds of BiultU Work, Ac,
ltenalrs promptly attended to.
N. It lirawlugi and Estimates supplied.
oi'l27'?l.ly.
rjM! K GREAT MAGICAL
u a t n v o n c v u t
Will foieo a benullful Rot of WhiMters or Sills
taclio, In Iroui two to thrcu months, on any per
son over twelvo years old, Hlsoneoriho best
preparations to ninko tho whiskers grow that
uirv.ns kin.wn. One bottlo of It Issulllclcut to
luodneo a very strong beard. It docs not In any
wny stnlu or injure tho skin . Try Itl It Is no
humbug. Price Si cents per bottlo. Bent by
in Hi 1 post, paid, to nny address, on receipt ot
price, Address WILLIAM C. WAONEll,
Autidtsvllle,
auj.lS'71-ly. Adams County, Pcnua
N .'3 U R A KCE A O E N O yT
Wyoming mi.Om
Etna l,iK',l
Fulton N, Y. I i,t,0
North America SMJ.t'iO
City tJM.OiKP
Interualloiml N.Y - l.'.OO.mo
NlagurnN.Y i.'Jfn.iri
MerchnutH vmti
Hrrlnglield iru.i.i.
Farmers' Danvlllo.N.Y' bSi,t.r.
Albany City 400.MI
Dinvllle, Horse Tholt ., Mutunl.
Atlantic, N.Y ' I,too,to
Gi i uuml.i, N. Y 600,1110
FftEA!) BIIOWN, A (ten'.,
iimi24'7I ly. IlLOOMsnuuti In.
J-I INKLEY KNITTING MACHINE
THE SIMPLFBT, CHEAPEST AND BEST IN
I SE! II AS HUT ONE M'.EDLEI A
CHILI) CAN HUN IT I
lusigned tspcclally for tho use of families, and
1 ndlis v.ho ileilio toknlt lor tho maikct. Will
do crry Ultih of tlio knitting In a stocking,
Widening and nun owing as undlly ns by hand.
Are splendid for worsltds nnd fancy work,
TAKING FIVE DI1- FLUENT KINDS OF
BT1TOI1! Are very tn.y to manage, nnd not
llahlo to tct out of order. Every 1 aiully bhould
havo one.
We want an Agent In every town to lntrodnco
and sell them, to v horn n e idler the most liberal
inducements, send lor our Ciiculnr and Sample
SlOCKlOg. viiuicss,
IIlNKLbY KNITTING .MACHINE CO.,
uov. 10,'71-ly. Bath, Me.
C. HOWE R,
has opened a first-class
BOOT, SHOE, HAT CAP, AND I Ull STOIl E,
at tho old stand on Wain Street, Bloomsburg.nfew
doorsaoovo tuecouri jiouso. iiissiociiiBconi
nosedof tho very latest and beststvles ever otler-
ed to the citizens ol Columbia County. He can
accommodate tho publlcwlththofollowlnggoods
at tho lowest rates. Men's heavy double bolcd
stoga boots, men'B double and sluglo tap soltd
hln hnnts. men's heavy stona slioeH of all kinds.
men'B line boots and shoes of all grades, boy's
double soled boots nnd, shoes of all kinds, men's
glove kid llnlmornl shoes.men's, women's, boys's
and misses' labtlug gaiters, women's glove kid
1'ollsn very une.women s morocco uuiworaisnnu
ran Klines, women s very nne kiu uunoneu rail-
ers. In short boots ol all descriptions both peg
gen nun se.weu.
He would also call attention to his flno assort'
mentof
ATS, CAPtf, FUB.S AND NOTIONS.
urhtrli cnninrlses nil tlio new and tionnlal varl-
ctlesat pilceswhlch canuotfalllo sullall. These
goods ore ollered at tho lowest cash rates and
will bo guaranteed to glvo satisfaction. A call
is souciieu oeioro purcuasiug ctsuwueiu u it w
believed that better bargains are to be found
man ni any oilier place in me couniy.
jan i'i
jXCIIANGE BAKERY
A N 11
C O N F E C T IOiNERY,
BLOOSlBBUItG, l'A.
The umlei stoned, successors of F. WItlmver.
would lcsnectttillv announce that thev have
taken the well-cstubllslied stand iecently occu
pied by tho above named, lu Bloomsbuig, and
irepaien to eoniiuuo me uusiiiess ui uiuuumc-
uriug auu seuiug, uy
WHOLESALE AND ItETAIL,
thev will hnvo at all tlmesn complete supply ol
the best and treshest Iirind nnd Cake. Parties
elf siring anything lu this lino will find It to their
advantage to can on us.
AN ICE CREAM SALOON
Is added to the establishment, and ladles nud
others who may ontroulo us. may rely upon
upon receiving proper attention. A reasonable
share of mihli Kiitriiiiace is resoec tfuilv solicited.
itaspoeny. i.eniou, auu oiner yiups, in uuge
nnil small riuauuiies, coosinniiy on naiui.
ll.Ult..ib is
SIny 5. 1871,-ly
Hotels.
MONTOUR HOUSE
ItUPEllT, PA.
WILLIAM BUTLEU, Proprietor,
This House havintrbeen nut In thoioughrenalr
is now oiieu lor tho leccntlou eif guests. No
pains will bo spared to ensuro the peifect com
lortoftlio traveleis. Too l'roprletor solicits a
share of public patronage. Tho bar will bo
stocked nt all limes Willi line liquors and clgarB,
jaui'71
gfiNTON HOTEL.
W. F. PIATT, Proprietor,
BENTON, COLUSIBIA COUNTY, PA.
Tills well known House having been nut In
tliorounh lennlr Is now open lor tho recentlon ol
visitors. No pains have been spared to ensure
the perlect coinlort of guests, The proprietor
also tuns a Stage fiom the Hotel to Bloomsburg
and Intermediate points on 1 ucsday, Thursday
and saiuruay oi eacii weeK, uau i'is1
riHlE ESPY HOTEL.
ESPY, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA.
The undersigned would Inform the travelling
publlolhnl he has taken uie above uanioei estab
lishment nud thoroughly refuted the same for
the perfect convenience eit his guests. His lardtr
will be stocked with the bebt the market atlords.
Tho choicest liquors, wines and clgarsulwayB to
uo loiiuii in ins oar,
WILIzlAM TO-UT.
Ehiiv. Pn
NATION
Its Rulers and Iustitutious.
IN ENGLISH AND GERMAN.
Nothing like It. Strikes everybody as Just the
book I hey need. It is un Micjclopiodlii ol tho
uoverumeni. hingio pages in it, are to uieiii
selves worth the price at the book, Oicr 600 vum-
tout only fl'.60. A Itlili Ilul i csl for Cliuvnssers
ladlis mid geutlenitii-liuiiiers, teueheis and
btudeuts. Oncvyttit tuuk'tjonlnt in ety e'iti,
uiti ctrucluv alone, beore the book appealed. S4U
a day can bo eleaied 111 lair telrlloiy. Write at
once lor Circular and Information. NEW
WOltl 1) PUBLISHING CO., Cor. 7th and .Map
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PEIUECT
COMBUSTION.
SIGNAL LIGHT.
The tlist miel oily self-feeding Anthiacllo Coj
bliitu ever inveiiii'ti enui mil irittu
t'einsuliie all the eases.
Warranted the JIEbT HEAllNO BTOVI1 In
tue couniry
Bend for Price List and Circular to
MrtCllEI.L, MEVEM-ON A CO.,
fctoo MuuulactureiB, Plttsbuigli, Pu.
T)LANK DEEDS.
Wo now hnvo tho line bt assortment of BLANK
DEEDS on baud nnd lor sale lliutwere over kept
lu tiioomsuurg. i.urgu sue on uisi puicumnui
paper, Couiiuou Deeds, Executor's and Adiulnls
irutorn Deeds-nuull site good paper (cheat
Common Deeds, Ac
JUSTICE'S BLANKS.
Wo now have on baud a large neatly printed
assortment of JUSTICE'S aud CONnTAIIUEB
BLANKS, tn which we Invite Wio attention
lieto o nice in,
BLOOMSBURG, PA., FRIDAY, FEBRUARY
Poetical.
Suiislilno nnil Klmdow.
Ill HAVEN.
Two children ployed on the kitchen Iloor,
They laughed and they crowed In thclrchlld.
Ish glee,
Tho stiuslilno rniuo through the open tloor,
Its bright beams dancing merrily.
Tho children caught nt tho shining slrcnm,
As though they had fouuel n golden toy,
Enough lor Ihcni that tho rnsslngbeam,
Hail lined Iholr llttlo hearts with Joy.
Tho mother watched them In their play,
prayer roso up lu her loving heart,
"Oh I far, far off luny bo tho day,
When with my children I must pntt."
Alas I how llttlo do wo know,
Ol Joy or sorrow yet to como,
Tho Minbentnscomo and quickly go,
And leave but sluulows on our home.
On Jenny nrst the shtielow fell,
They bore her fiom her homo away.
The llttlo mound Is left to tell,
Her feet among the shadows stay.
A year of mingled light nnd shade
Around tho mother's heart Is thrown,
A sunbeam was tho child that staid,
A shadow for tho ono that's gone.
The light to darkness still rivo place,
For elark, nioro dark tho shedows grew,
Envolvlng In their cold emhrnco,
Tho form of llttlo Perry too.
They laid him by his sister's side,
W hero golden stinbo nms never coire,
Willi tears, 'twould bon sin to hide.
Returned to find a chlldlcs3 home.
And yet through nil this gloom there breaks,
A light that gives tho heart Its rest,
Bless Illm who elves, bless Illni who takes,
As in Ills wisdom scemeth best.
"Let llttlo children co mo to rue,"
I'll bearthem lo my blessed home,
From every sin nnd sorrow free,
Where blasting shadows never com e."
I Is hero nt last wo find tho light,
Truo sunshlno beaming on the soul,
By faith wo livo" and not by sight,
And hope to reach the blissful goal.
'Jhe sun will there forever sill no.
No clouds, and hence, no shadows fall,
Thlno bo tho Powe r, th o glory thlue,
Aud thou our God ho nil In all.
Miscellaneous.
TESTIMONY AT Till: ItlHIIT TIMII.
Tho case pcntllng litforo our Court
interested tho peoplo deeply. A few
months beforo Jacob Ames had
died, lcaviiifc property to theainotint of
fifty or sixty thousand dollars, nil of
which was readily available. At first
11 was supposed that tho old man he
was eighty-seven had died without
haviiiR tnado will, as ho had often been
heard to remark that making a will
seemed Iiko a preparation for death,
and as there could bo no question about
tho inheritance of his property, ho did
not ciiooso to make any such, to him,
ghostly testament. His dircctandonly
legitimate heirs were two orphans, both
girls, children of his only daughter,
Ono ol them was a cripple, reciuirin.
almost tlio undivided care and attention
of tho other, aud botli wero beloved by
all who knew thera. WMlo peoplo
wero feeling glad that tho orphan &is
ters wero to bo thus grandly provided
for, a man named James Arnold pro
ented a will for probate, said to bo tlio
Last Will and Testament of Jacob
Ames, made several years before. 'This
Arnold was a ncphew-in-law of old
Jacob, the child of his wife's sister, and
sad for several years been employed as
business agent and general accountant
of the deceased ; and when ho caused
tho will to bo presented, ho produced
number of witnesses who declared
that they had often heard old Ainessay
that ho had mado tho only will ho
should make, and that James Arnold
'us his heir; and, what seemed to mako
tlio matter sure, two witnesses to tho
will, former servants or cmployeosof
the testator, sworo point blank to hav -
aa seen Ames place his siguatuio to
tho document after which they signed
their own names. Houest people shook
their heads at this, for theso two wit
nesscs a man and Ids wife wero not
tbovo suspicion. In fact, it was gener
ally beliovcd that a small sum of ready
money would buy tho m body and soul
I entered tho court-room lato in the
afternoon of tho third day, jttot as tho
last witness was about to leavo tlio wit
ness stand ; and this witness was Thorn
as Cloudman, tho servant just alluded
to. Ho had been questioned by a jury
man, and had mado a plain statement
Everything was against tho poor, do-
serving orphans, and all in favor of tho
despised nephew. In fact, no hone:
man, under tho evidence, could havo
brought in a verdict naalnst Arnold
claim.
Tho juryman who had questioned t it I
witness sat at the end of tho box; and
closo to him, among tlio spectators,
stood old Ilarvy Goodrich, who was at
that timo engaged in tho paper mill ol
Day & Lyon, at Portland. I had known
him years before, when ho worked for
Rice, of Newport. Thojurorheld tlio
will in his hand, open, and Goodrich
cast his eyo upon it. I saw tho old pa
per-maker start and tremble.
"Let me look ntthatl" I heard him
whisper, for I stood closo by.
Thojuror, without considering, Hand
cd liira tlio document ; and beforo tho
counsel could interpose aud legaln it
Goodrich had seen all ho desired, and
his ilrst movement, after relinquishing
tho will, was to hasten to tho side of tho
orphan's attorney, and whlspor, hur
riedly and excitedly, in ills ear. l saw
tho attorney, whoso namo was Ship
man, bend his head attentively, and
then start to his feet. What was It?
In thoso few brief moments tlio wholo
auilieneo had ought tho fover of excito-
nient, for it was clearly ovident that
something of Importance was on tlio
tapis.
"May It pleaso your honor," said
Shlpnian, very quietly so calmly and
quietly that wo feared it could bo noth
ing of importance after nil "I must
ask tho Indulgcnceof thoeourt. I wish
to present now and Important testimo
ny." Time was n slight war or words be
tween tlio opposing counsol.ufter which,
by pormibbion of tho court, tho old pa
per maker took tlio witness-box. Ho
cavo his iiamo, residence, occupation,
etc.; and then Mr. Shlpnian placed tlio
will in Ids hands.
"Mr. Goodrich, will you pleaso exam
ino that document?"
"I havo douoBo, sir."
"What Is tho written dato of that
will?"
"September fifth, eighteen hundred
and forty-one," answered tlio witness,
reading from tlio lnstrumsut.
"Now, Mr. Goodrich, will you pleaso
In form tlio Jury, and tho court, If
you obscrvo anything clso, in or upon
that paper which you hold In your
hand, that would positively affect the
reliability of that written dato? Mako
your own statement, In your own way,
only mako It conclso and clear."
"Your honor, nnd gentlemen of tho
jury," commenced tho witness, "this
pleco of paper which I now hold In my
hand was manufactured by myself and
calendered upon a machine of my own
Invention. Tlio water lines, in placo
of tho ordinary bluo ruling, was Includ
ed In my improvement. You will also
bserVo, Upon closo Inspection though
tho ink upon tlio surface has somewhat
obscured It my own stamp in water
marks. Your honor can examine it for
yourself,"
The Judge took tho document, and
held it up against the strongllght ; uud
involuntary ho read aloud, so as lo ba
heard by all In tho room for every
breath was hushed "II. Goodrich's
Patent. Eighteen Hundred and Forty-
Threo!"
"Yes, your Honor," broko In Good
rich, whose professional Integrity was
now in tho balance. "I can solemnly
swear that that sheet of paper was not
made until at least two years after tho
dato of tho instrument which has been
written upon its face."
Tho paper was given to tho Jury, who
wero all upon their loot. Arnold's
couusci demanded tosee it. Mr. Cloud
man and his wife got up, and tried to
leavo tho room, but wero prevented,
Jutlgo and bar wero in u stato of fer
ment; whllo tho deuso audience sway.
ed to and fro in eager, painful suspense,
Would this old man's testimony havo
its legitimato weight?
iVh I how could it bo otlierwiso
Tliero was a witness nioro potent to an
intelligent court and Jury than speech
ol tongue. Too contested will ooro In
its innermost heart in its "heart of
hearts" tho emphatic ovidencc of tho
baso Uo upon its written face. Other
witnesses were called ono paper maker
aud two paper dealers but tho thing
was settled. Tho water lined dato of
tlio paper was ovldenco enough. A lit
tlo whllo and tho Judgo gavo his charge
about as oriel a cnargc as 1 over
heard. A llttlo longer, and wo know
that tho orphans wero tho truo and le
gally established heirs to Jacob Ames'
fortune. I will not attempt to describe
tho scono that followed. Suffice it for
mo to say, Mint tho perjured parties
wero severely punished, while tho sun
of joy and kindness cast its gracious
beams upon tho beloved and deserving
alstus.
Tlio Wrong Vote.
Apropos of elections, tlio following is
capital ; nud will bo especially relished
by gentlemen who havo been unsuc
cessful in their aspirations for offlco:
In ono of tho towns of Pennsylva
nia, tlio freemen Bad lor many years
deposited their votes solidly for the
Democratic candidates. Such a thin;
as a Whig or Republican ticket had
never been run. At that time, liowev
er, tho politicians of an adjacent to wip
ship thought it an opportune occasion
to attempt tho establishment, in tint
town, of n Republican organization. To
this end, they persuaded a certain Mr.
Green, wiio had recent y settled there
iu uucuinu uicir uiiiiuiutuu lur ouiiiu nu-
nor ofllce, hoping to proctiro for him
a few votes under tho popularity of tlio
great namo of Grant, anil thus to get
an entering wedge in tho local affairs of
tito township.
Tlio day of election arrived, but Mr.
G. was unable to get to the polls by
reason of sickness. In duo timo the re
turns wero published, and Mr. Green
had just ono voto. Chagrined nt this,
and annoyed by tho accusation that ho
had voted for himself, ho said if any ono
would mako affidavit to tho voto ho
would reward him with a good suit of
clothes. A few mornings afterward a
burly looking Pennsylvania Dutchman
called upon Mr. Green and abruptly re
marked : "i vants dat suit Of close.'
"All!" said Mr. U "tlieu you aro
the person who voted fiir mo?"
"Yah, I'm dat man."
"Aro you willing to mako an nflidit'
vitof it?"
"Yah, I swear to 'em.''
Mr. Green, accompanied by the In
telligent voter, went to tho ofllco of tho
Justlco of tho peace, nnd tho required
affidavit was mado; after which tho
clothes wero purchased nnd given to
tho deponent.
So delighted was Mr. Green to bo ro
lloved from tho unploasantuoss of his
situation, and so glad to learn that tliero
was another riglitoous man in tho town
ship, tiiat he had taken tho Dutchman's
Republicanism as a matter of course.
However, nt parting ho said: "Now,
my friend you havoyoursult of clothes,
Just answer mo ono question How
cumo you to voto for mo?"
'You vants to know dat?"
"Yes."
"And you von't go back on tho
close V"
No."
" Veil," 6aid lie, slowly, and Willi a
sly twlnklo of tho oyo, "den I toloyou ;
J makes a mtstate in de ticket !''
A San Fkancisco Inchlout: "A
venerable-looking organ-grinder, ac
companied by an activo llttlo monkey,
dressed lu red, was patiently turning
out his dilapidated melodlos for tho
benefit of acouploof sorvaut girls, when
ho was suddenly surrounded by n
group of school children, boys nnd
girls, who nt oneo becamo dovoled to
tho monkey, Tho latter, scolng an np
plo in tho hands of ono of tho boys, sutl
ifeuly ceased his gambols, nud, snatch
lug tho fruit, ran nimbly up a tree Just
by. Tho boy cried; nnd his .compap
Ions liiughed, whllo 'tho Italian altor
uately aworo at and coaxctl tlio chatter
iugthlbf, but lu vain, until at last tho
monkey, of his own ftq'cprd, como swift
ly down, and springing in front of a
pretty llttlo girl with long curls, deftly
took off his Jaunty cap, and bowing po
litely, handed her tlio nppio.
UOL.
Anecdotes of Sir Vnltcr Scott.
No pleasantcr nticcdotrs havo been
told of any man. Theso nro generally
well known, but I will trust that tho
following mny bo new to my readers:
Mrs. John Ballantyno wasjustmnrricd.
Slio was young, tho beauty of Edin
burgh, and half spoiled by ilattery. Sho
Was to meet Sir Waiter nt dinner, and
resolved to put on nlrs, nnd show tho
great lion of tho tlmo that sho was not
to bo brought to fawn oven at his feet.
Ho asked her to take a glass of wine,
and sho nffeetcd not to hear him ; but
tho great mun instead of noticing this
girlish folly, proceeded to talk to her
with such polltcncsa that sho speedily
ieit ashnmed of herself. This lady re
lated that once, nt her own table, on
the occasion of a largo and ceremonious
dinner party, tliero was a scarcity of
spoons, aud, what added to tho awk
wardness, at the precise moment when
tho servant was washing tho spoons for
further use n most determined pauso In
conversation ensued. Tho silonco was
so profound that no sound was to bo
heard savo tho whispers of tho servants
Just without, and tho washing of tho
spoons. At last tho blushing lady's
husband drank, "Relief to all in dis
tress," which broko tho spell, and Eet
all laughing, whllo Mr. James Ballan
tyno called out, with a lino of Shakes
peare: My lord, my lorJ, methlnks you'd spare your
spoons I"
"Not I, indeed, my lord,1' responded
Mrs. B., "for I havo nono lo spare."
'Not amiss," said Sir Walter, in genial
recognition of the lady's hit. Next day
a parcel c.nno to her, directed in an un
mistakable handwriting, containing a
dozen of tlio handsomest spoons that
could bo found In Edinburgh. (This
same old lady relates a story which do
serves to bo told as ono of tho most sin
gular among tho curiosities of litera
ture. Sho relates that oneo when iter
brothor-iu-law, James, was reading to
her, Scott entered, and told him to go
on reading. As tho reader proceeded,
Scott at first nodded approbation, then
said "Good!" next "Very good I"
"Charming 1" "Powerful 1" until at
last the upper lip began to tremble, and
tho tears to fall. Taking his staff, lie
strode across tho room aud looked over
Mr. Ballantyne's shoulder to sco what
the volumo was. It was tho "Lay of
tho Last Miustrel." Ho wa3 quite in
discomfiture, dashing tho tears Indig
nantly from Ills eyes, uttered an impa
tient "Pshaw !" and said, "God help
me, James ; I am losing my memo
ry.'" M. D. Conway, in Harper's Mag
azine. How He Utiles His Wife.
A man named Traddles, in Virginia,
lias got his wifo in proper subjection,
aud means to keep her so. "Oh !" says
ho, in telling about it, "tliero ain't
many who know how to rule a wife
properly. Now, my old woman is ono
of tho best natured women in the world,
but ahe's got a dovll of a temper,
Whenever I sco sho's got her mad up,
if it's a dozen times a day, I Just quiet'
ly say nothing," but kinder huinor her
and sho comes round all right after a
while. Even when sho throws things
at mo, or gives a wild slash for mo with
tlio broom or rollin' pin, I just tlodgo a
llttlo, and sho never hits mo tho third
time beforo 1 got my oyo on her and let
her know I disapprove of such action
on her part. Perhaps 1 havo to leavo
tho h()U,0 lo ahl)jhct thls but she scc,3
tll0 pointi Then, by being careful not
, .,.,,. ,,, ,, if.i i, i,
IU illtlUlU llvl II I! VI llwl'tlMf, lVi AllttU llVi
own way, 1 manage to maKo her tlo
just as I pleaso. And you bet I mako
her unilerstand nnd nppreciato my tils-
cipline. Oh ! I keep her under perfect
control. A man has to, you know
Got to boss in your own houso, or first
thing you know your wifo will rido you
down Iiko you wasn't nobody. My
wife's a perfect angel in her natural dis
position, but any oilier man but mo
would spoil her.
A Hoss Stable
Tho Hon. Benjamin Tappan, oneo a
Senatorvfrom Ohio, was on tho bench
when tho Buckoyo Stato wa3 admitted
into tho Union. Ho was famous in his
timo for being very ugly, very talonted
and very cross-eyed, crabbed, and sar
castle. On ouo occasion ho was holding
court in tho wilderne-s, wliero ono log
cabin had to bo used for court house,
tavern nnd bar room. Tho stablo near
by was used pro tern, for Jail. Tho
Judgo had just given somo malefactors
n very severe sentence, whon a rough
backwoodsman who had boon practic
ing at tho other bar, exclaimed:
"That's right; glvo 'cm thunder, old
gimlet eyes."
wno is inatv" screameu mo lrato
and indignant Judge.
"It's tills old hoss," answered tho pio
neer, giving His nrcast an approving
slap.
"Mr. Sheriff," retorted Tappan, "put
that old hoss iu tlio stable, nnd keep
him a week on bread nnd wnter."
A jiasiiful youth was paying ad
dresses to n gay lass of tho country, who
had long despaired of bringing tilings
to a crisis. Ho camo ono day when sho
was alono, nnd nfter settling tho merits
of tho weather, tho girl said, looking
shyly into his faeo: "I dreamed 01'
you last night."
"Did you, why now 1"
"Yos.I dreamed that you kicsod mo."
"Why, now! wlint did you drenin
your mother said?"
"Ob, I dreamed sho was not at
homo."
A light dawned on tho youth's intel
lect, a Singular sound broko tho still'
ness, and in less than a month thoy
wero married.
NEWYomc has him now tho ono
Iiundicd-niid-thlrtccn-years old man
who voted for ull tho Presidents, sawH
wood, was tho groom of Washington,
body-sorvant of Jackson, coachman of
Jefferson and barber to Franklin. Ho
walks twenty-two miles every morning
before breakfast, has used liquor and
tobacco for 65 years, and nover was sick
a day lu his life. His teeth aro In tho
highest stato of preservation, ho can
read agato typo by moonlight, and can
hear tho lowest whisper at a dlstuuco of,
sovernl miles, etc., etc,
23, 1872.
DEM. - VOL. XXXVI NO. 1.
Webster and llrnncii.
Whllo John Branch,.of Nortli Caroli
na, was General Jackson's Secretary of
tlio Navy, ho, Tazewell, and Daniol
Webster wero walking on tlio north
batik of tho Potomac, at Washington.
Tazewell, willing to amuso himself nt
Branch's simplicity, said, "Branch, I'll
hot you n ton-dollar hat that I can provo
that you nro on tho other sldo of tlio
rlvor." "Done," said Branch." Well,"
said Tawrtvcll, pointing to tho oppoalto
shoro, "isn't that onosidoof thorlver?"
-"Yes." "Well, Isn't this tlio other
sldo V" "Yes." "Then, ns you aro
here, aro you not on tho other side?"
"Why, I declare," said poor Branch,
"so it is! But hero comes Webster.
I'll win back my hat from him." Web
ster now camo up, and Brancli accosted
him : "Webster, I'll bet you nten-dol-lar
lial that I can provo that you aro on
tho other sldo of tho river." "Done."
"Well, isn't tills ono sldo?'1 "Yes."
"Well, isn't that tho other?" "Yos,
but I am not on that side." Branch
hung his head, and submitted to tho
loss of tho two hats as quietly as ho
could.
Henry Clay nover liked to sco
dumb animals abused or worried.
When ho was at Washington, a very
large, somewhat noted billy goat roam
ed tho streets, and tho news-paper boys,
boot-blacks, and strect-lmp3 generally
mado common cause against liim . On ono
occasion, whllo tlio statesman was pas
sing down tho avenue, n largo crowd of
theso mischievous urchins were at
their usual sport. Mr. Clay, with his
walking stick, drovo them nway, giv
ing them a sound lecturo in tlio mean
while. As they scam pored off in nil
directions, Billy seeing no ono but Mr.
Clay within reach, mado a charge on
him. Mr. Clay dropped his cauo nnd
caught his goatship by tho horns. The
goat would rear up, being nearly as
ligh as tho tall Kentuck'itn himself,
and tho latter would pull him down
again. This sort of sport soon became
tiresome, and ho could concoivo of no
way by which ho could freo himself
from tho two-horned dilemma, soinhis
desperation ho sang out to tho boys to
know what to do. Ono of tho smallest
In tho crowd shouted back ; "Let go
and run, you old fool !" And tho dig
nified statesman had to do it.
The Virtues of Xltro-Giyt-crhie.
Tlio boys don't do tilings now iiko
they did when Noah Webster was
making spelling books. An old man
near Pleasantville, Uie other day, found
ajrudo boy posting Lydia Thompson
bills all over his door yard fence, nnd
desired him to desist ; but tho young
sauco-box told him plainly ho would
not, and slapped up another naughty
picture.
"You won't,"said tlio old man; "then
I will fetch you down." So bo pulled
out a horse-pistol and shot so veral times
at liim ; but this only mado the young
ster laugh; for tlio old man was cross
eyed and could not hit a barn-door,
"Well, well," said tho old man, "If
neither words nor horse-pistol will do,
I must try what virtuo tliero is in ni
tro glycerine ;" so tiiat old man pulled
out a two-ii uart can of torpedo mixturo
and exploded it under tho chap, who
coolly whistled, "If Ever I Ceaso to
Love," while tho old man went soaring
away into tlio sky iiko a k Ite.
Ten or fifteen years ago a pub lie din
ner was given to tho members of tlio
legislature at Providence, and n Narra
gansott preacher, called tho "Regular
Pacer," beeauso in his prajcrs he had a
habit of standing behind a chair, step-
ping backward and hitching it after
him, was called on to ask a blessing.
Ho stood up in his usual stylo and bo
gan a lengthy prayer. Thcro was an
open door behind him, and ho soon un
wittingly backed into an adjoining
room taking his chair along, when
somo ouo softly closed thodoor, and tho
hungry guests proceeded to dine, whllo
tho petition was finished at leisure by
tho abstracted minister.
Jump In. Sidney Smith very wiso
ly said : "A great deal of talent Is lost
to tho world for tho want of a llttlo
courage. Every day sends to tho gravo
n number or otiscuro men who navo
only remained In obscurity beeauso
their timidity has prevented them from
making a first effort, nnd who, if they
could only havo been induced to begin,
would In all probability havogono great
lengths in tho career of fame. Tho fact
Is, that in order to do anything in this
worlei worth dointr. wo must not stand
Shivering on tno uanK, mining ui uu
... .... ....,- r
cold or dangor, but jump mnndscratnuio
through as well as wo can. It will not
do to bo perpetually calculating risks
aud adjusting tho chances."
A Buffalo man must havo tho credit
for tho most novel invontlon yot pro
posed for propelling boats on tho canal,
Tho power Is not attached to tho boat,
but tho ontiro body of water In tho ca
nal is moved, and tlio current thus
created Is used as tho propolling power.
Tlio plan embraces n wall laid In tho
contro of tho canal its ontiro length,
dlvitilntr It Into two eoual channels. At
tho head of each lovol Is placed un im
mersed wheel of peculiar construction,
which Is moved by a stationary engino,
and tho actlou of which is to throw tho
water from ono of tlio channels into tho
other. A current is thus created from
tho machinery in 0110 c.iaunel and to
ward it in tho other.
A Baltimoiie lady who had been
greatly annoyed by mlsclilovou3 ur
chins who rang her door bell und then
mado oil', mado n bud mlstnko ono after
noon recently. Sho lay In wait forthetu,
and soou thero camo a stop on tho
porch, and n vigorous Jerk at tho boll,
Sho cried out "1 see you, you llttlo ras
cal," caught tho unresisting flguro by"
tho coat eollan nnd shook him -vigor
ously, Whon her. strength was nearly
exhausted, and hoarso with excltenii.'nt,
sholiscoerod to Iter horror that it-waa
tho dlmlnutlvo minister of her church,
very red In tho faeo, and very short for
breath, An explanation followed,
OF ADVERTISING.
Ono Inch, (twelvo llnen'or IU equivalent In
Nonpnroll typo) ouo or two lnicrllonn, ll.SO three
Insertions, tlw
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Twoluenn 8,10 BOO 7,00 0,00 16,03
Three Inches 6,() 7,( 0,0i) 12,m 18 0!)
Four Indie 7,) 9,00 11,00 17,0) 2i,ur
enmrtcr column 10,oi. 1S,i 1,00 20,00 lio.iio
Half column,,... ivoo l,oq 20,00 m,m o,oi
Ouo column 30.00 80,00 40,00 00,00 100,00
Executor's or Administrator's Notice, 13,00
Auditor's or Assignees Notice, Ufl).
Local notices, twenty cents n lino.
Cnril, In tlio "Business Directory" eolnmn,
82,oo tier year for ttio nrst lwo Hues, nntl (l,uu f r
oach additional line.
Humorous.
How do thoy weigh eels with seal 0.1
when cols havo no scales.
A prominent Flro Insuranco Com
pany noted for1 113 earn In taking risks,
is said to lnsuro chlcily pig iron aud
gravo yards.
Coleridge tolls us of n man who had
such an overwhelming self esteem that
ho novor spoko of himself without tak
ing off Ids hat.
A Sloux City ghost has fallen Into nn
annoying habit ol sitting in tlio yard
on a bucket, with his head under his
arm, to tho fright of passers by.
A German lag r beer saloon koopur
In Now York Is too fat to get through
Ids door-way, nnt has not been In tho
streot for sovernl years.
A murderot who A-as recently hanged
told tho iittendttnt minister that if ho
had received half aa much attention
beforo being put In to prison, ho never
would havo been p 1 1 there.
A mlnlstor asked a tipsy follow lean
ing up ngalnst u fenco whero ho expect
ed to go to when ho died. "If I can't
get along nny better than I do now,"
ho said, "I shan't go anywhere."
An erudlto Chlcagnan, In tho coursa
of it description, alluding to something
as being iiko "piling pltllion on
oystors." He is supposed to have refer
ence to Ossa and Peliou.
A Minnesota sheriff kindly allowed
n convict tostep outside the penitentiary
a moment to kiss his wifo, and tho fam
ily tie proved so strong that ho has not
yet returned.
An Iowa Falls dog chased a rabbit
Into n hollow log nnd got fastened In
tlio Iol' himself. For sixteen davs that
dog Is reported to havo been In that
holo Deiuro 110 was rescued, iro is re
covering, but he has lost his "bark."
A Kansas man sent for a clergyman
tn uroacli his wife's funeral sermon and
incidentally to marry liim, at tho closo
of tho discourse, to a young woman
whom ho had selected on tho death or
his spouse.
AVhat aro the points of difference be
tween tho Princoof Wales, an orphan,
a bald head, and a gorilla? Tho Prlnco
is heir apparent, an orpnan nas no cr a
parent, a bald head has no hair appar
ent, and a gorilla lias a hairy parent.
A man recently drawn as a juror at
Wliito River Bottom, Intl., camo In
from tho country to state 'hat ho hadn't
been to tho eitv beforo for hirtv years.
and did not know who had been Presi
dent sinco Andrew Jackson.
A colored centlcman. havlnt. been
brought beforo a maglstrato and con
victed ot piiiertng.waBasKeu: -uo you
know how to read?" "Yes, ma3sa,a
little." "Won don't you over mako
uso of tho Biblo?" "Yes, massa, strap
him razor on him sometimes."
Somo clever fellow has invented n
now kind or lnK, called "lovo-ietter
ink." It is a sure nreventlvo against
all cases of "breach of promise," as tho
Ink fades away and leaves tno sheet
blank in about four week's nfter being
writtea upon.
A fair-haired, iovo-sick youth in Ohio
nreacnted his "trirl" with a pair of those
now fangled metallic garters on Christ
mas. 10 thought tnoy wero tno latest
thing in bracelets, and ho only discov
ered his mistako upon requesting her
to -'try tliem on." Ho does not go there
any more.
Tho Pittsburg Commercial requests a
confiding public to belioyo that Miss
inccraciien, wno was caught up uy tno
storm in Youghiogheny Valley, on
Sunday last, was carried -100 yards, by
actual measuremout, and leu through
an apple tree.
At ono of his lectures Georgo Francis
Train shouted, "Now, then, anybody
can ask mo questions." Wheroupon
an old lady got up and said, "Mr. Train
I would like to know what makes a pot
leg always burn 'n two in tlio middle?"
Tho great Amer 'an traveler was non
plussed.
A Green counts farmer recklessly
publishes tho following challenge: "I
will bet $12.23 that ty hired man can
tako longer to go to tho harvest field,
get uacu to dinner quieter, eat more,
do loss, and boar down harder on a pau-
el ol tho fence, than any other hired
man within fifteen miles of tho llag-
stalf in Jefferson."
"Please, sir." paid an Irishman ton
traveler, "would yez bo so oblaiging as
to tako mo trreat coat hero to Boston
wid yez?" "Yes," said tho man in tho
wagon ; "but how will you got it
again '."' "Oh, that's mighty aisy, so it
is," said Pat, "forshure I'll remano In
side uv it."
"is this seat unoccupied?" aslied nn
oxqulsito of nn elderly lady of rustic
design in thocarBatNorwalk, Saturday
ovening. "I don't know," said sho
hastily, running herhauds with a great
deal of feeling over tho surfaco. "It
feels mostly llko plush, but you can't
always tell."
A reverend gentleman was address
ing a school recently, aud was trying
to enforco tho Idea that tho hearts of
tho llttlo ono wero sinful and needed
regulating. Taking his watch nnd hold-
ing'it up, ho said: "Now, hero is my
watch; supposo It don't keep good
tlmo : now goes too fast and now too
I IIII1U . UUW L'Uim IIA1 1U31 illlll UUW
slow -what ghaU I Uo wm, U? ,1Sell
1 1 1 shouted a tlaxen-haircd youngster,
A llttlo six years old boy was asked
by his teacher to writo a composition
on tlio subject of water, and tho follow
ing is tho production : waior is good
to drink, to swim iu, and to skate on
when frozen. When I was a llttlo baby
tho nurso used to Diiino mo overy morn
ing In water. I havo been told that
Injuns don't wash themselves but oneo
in ten years. 1 wish I was nn lujuu !"
A domuro-lookiucchanhailod a char
coal peddler with tho query, "Havo
vou trot charcoal In your wagon?" "Yes.
sir," said tho expectant driver, stopping
his horses. "That's right," ouerveu
tho derauro chap, with an approving
nod; "always tell tho truth uud people
will respect you I" and ho hurried on
much to tho regret of tho peddler, who
was getting out tho wagon to look for a
tiricK,
A illsconsolato editor out west, be-
moanlner tho loss of a wife, had tho fol
lowing epUtio engraved upon her tomb,
stono: "To tho memory of Tabltha,
wifo of Mosey Skinner, Esq., centlo
manly editorof tho Trombone. Terms,
S3 a year, always In advance. A kind
. 1 - , , t .. .Mil
mother unit exemplary who. uiul-u
over Coletuau'fl grocery, up two flights
of stairs. Knock hard. Wo shall mips
tlieo, mother ; wo shall miss thee. Job
prlutlug solicited. "
Thero will bo nothing left for theso
Yankees to bonst of If tlio Chlneso keep
on this way, A Bon of tho Celestial
Emplro lately got run over In Chicago
byahoreo and wagon, and tho owner
gavo John five dollars to fay nothing
about It. This "Heathen Chlneo"
wasn't hurt much, If any, and now ho
Is doing It for a living getting In tho
way and getting run over by somebody
Ho may get rich If ho doesn't happen
to get run over by nn elephant some of
theso times.
5.